Campout with Kass

Evening of Sunday, August 12, 2018

Campout with Kass

The storm blew off shingles and knocked the tops off our bottle trees. I hoped Meesh was all right.... She hates stormy weather....

But I would see her safe and sound the next morning.

But tonight.... DANG IT I WAS GONNA GET THAT SHRINE ON WASHA’S BLUFF.

I PARAGLIDED from Satori Mountain down to Kass’s place. I was getting better at covering more distance! I no longer feared missing the treeshroom’s platform—I could land well beyond its lip.

Once there, I camped.

....

And camped.

. . . . . . .

And CAMPED.

I lit fires. I spent flint. And when it rained I lit a fire beneath Kass’s wooden roof. Thing was fireproof, thank goodness. And I dropped something like four separate woodpiles before I found I could just relight spent campfires with a new piece of flint. And when my flint started running low, I switched to Fire Arrows....

And still Kass played his accordion.

For days he played his accordion.

I skipped around the platform to the endless waltz.

I was going koo-koo for cocoa puffs.

DANG IT WHERE WAS THE BLOOD MOON?

I could speak with Kass to quiet him, and then stand beside him after our conversation was over. He would look at me. And I would look at him. Or at Satori Mountain. Or at the sky. Or at the strange lands beyond Tabantha Bridge. But I couldn’t move away and leave him alone or he’d start playing the song again. It got.... kind of.... maddening....

I wondered who would win between he and Guru-Guru the organ-grinder.

Hmmmm....

Kass: V --- | i --- | VII --- | III --- | N6(???) - V7 - | i --- | i64 - V - | i ---

Guru-Guru: i --- | i --- | VI - III - | VI - V - | i --- | i --- | VI - V - | i ---

....Hhhhuh.

Is that even a Neapolitan sixth? Dang I don’t remember my music theory....

Well I guess Kass gets points for more sophisticated modulations.... but I think Guru-Guru’s strong half-cadence definitely makes for a more pleasing and attractive structure.

These are the things you think about when you campout with Kass for days.

The moons came in cycles of eight phases: waxing crescent, half, waxing gibous, full, waning gibous, half, waning crescent, new. I would light my fires eight at a time in rapid succession and sit through the days on Kass’ treeshroom before stopping to stretch my legs and watch for the rising of the moon.... And if the full moon were normal and white, I would warp through eight more night-fires to try it again....

Link doesn’t fall asleep when he is crouching. But I think he shakes a bug or something from his hand....

I had a sneaking suspicion that Blood Moons only manifested on full moons, and so between the fulls of one cycle I took a brief break to try for the Prison Korok again. But the statues’ bowls were just empty. And they wouldn’t take apples then, either. Ugh....

But at least I was free of the accordion for a spell.

I wandered nearer to the castle.

It had a music.... a Piano. I didn’t really get to hear much of what it did; there were other things going on the house. But it just felt.... malcontent.

I don’t know why, but I dared not pass the boundary set by the five Great Stones. Glowing pulsing pink in their sealing Sheikah designs. It felt.... like it would be wrong. Or like it bore the same taint that kept me from ever interacting with that SATAN statue again....

I was very near to one of them.

....

I didn’t want to touch it.

I inspected long-abandoned guard towers along crumbling parapets. Some of them had treasure chests inside. One of them was haunted by a Korok.

Skipping past a Guardian Flyer I scuttled up onto a large rock and stood in the bright, placid day.

I calmly observed the Guardian Stalker in the inner town. It was too far away to react to my presence. Just barely, I think.

A big, bubbly pool of Malice oozed and gurgled below the ledge where I stood. It was piled thick in all directions. I regarded the Guardian again....

If I fell in I would be.... in horrible trouble.

Off to my right was a pool of clear water. There were ducks. And fish. Even here.

I was tempted. To go into the castle. For long, dreadful moments I was tempted. But....

No.

No.

I returned to Satori Mountain and paraglided back to Kass’s home.... and that bloody accordion.

I kept camping.

But I didn’t want to strain my bows or burn through my Fire Arrows to keep lighting campfires.

So I pulled out one of my Meteor Rods.

The fireballs bounced everywhere.

One of them might have accidentally hit my host on the back of the head—I saw his shoulders tighten from behind.

Sorry, buddy.

WHERE THE FRICK WAS THE BLOODY BLOOD MOON??

There had to be a better way to do this—there was a better way to do this—I tried a cycle at Pepp’s, in the Deku Tree’s Navel. I just sat by the fire there, too—it was already made; no flint and tinder off my nose—passing night after night until the full moon night came round again, whereupon I sailed back to Kass’ place and waited for the wheeling of the sky....

But there was no Blood Moon.

ಠ_ಠ

It’s like the game knows.

ಥ∼ಥ

Dastardly....

I went back to the Deku Tree’s Navel and slept until the morning.