The Prettiest Voe

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 4

The Prettiest Voe

A Hylian dressed like a Gerudo. A “pretty Hylian gal”.

That was who I was looking for, this cool night in Kara Kara Bazaar.

Robsten said this.... person was around the general store, but I didn’t see anybody around any of the stalls.

Ripp the guard said she’d seen a Hylian vai wandering around the inn. Said she was probably still in town, as the Divine Beast was scaring a lot of people out of traveling right now.

So to the inn I went.

But nobody new was inside.

I bought all of Shailu’s (newly-stocked) arrows again and went back outside. There was really only one more place to check. That spot up on top of the big, bulbous rock. The spot which David had been so eager for me to visit....

So I climbed the ladders, got up on top, and saw a Hylian standing there, clad in shimmering purplish silks, looking out into the desert where Vah Naboris stomped.

The Gerudo clothes made the figure seem.... well really short.

I got the person’s attention. Vilia was her name.

“Oh my what a lovely young lad you are,” she said, “Do you need something from me?”

“I NEED YOUR CLOTHES,” I said in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.

Oh my gosh and what a low voice this woman had.

This ‘Vilia’ went on to.... compliment my looks or something I DON’T REMEMBER BECAUSE IT WAS TOO RIDICULOUS—

And I was presented with a couple of choices in the dialogue, and I tried to keep it.... Well, I didn’t want to upset anything.

“You’re very beautiful!” I said. And she was so tickled by this that she offered to give me some Gerudo clothing of my own because it would just look so enchanting on my adorable body why is this pervert offering me clothes I’m a man.

Six hundred rupees and a fade-to-black later, I stood on the rock in a lavender scarf and top, green harem pants and lightweight slippers on my feet—

“*Eeeeee!*” Vilia squealed, complete with asterisks and music note icons!

—And absolutely nothing on my midriff.

“You look adorable!!” Vilia went on, while Link first cupped his hands to the sides of his blushing face, and then WILTED into this girlish stance dance, swaying uncertainly with his shoulders hunched, his low hands clasped together, and his eyes down and away.

Oh my gosh. XD

I didn’t really catch much of the rest of what Vilia said, except when the wind blew her scarf out of the way and I swore she had a beard.

“And make sure to watch out for the wind,” she advised.

At which Link delivered a most timely facepalm, and the cinematic drew to a close.

“Be sure to come back and see me any time if you need more clothes!”

Uh, yeah, sure thing, Vilia. ಠ_ಠ

The Point With No Entry

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 3

The Point With No Entry

As Gerudo Town remained impenetrable, and as no clues seemed to present themselves to me locally, I grabbed a sand seal, counted on its speed to blunt the impending heat exhaustion, and started back toward the oasis at Kara Kara Bazaar.

But I didn’t get far before I saw a voe on the road—a man. And in a fit of considering my optionnnnns I decided to hop off the sand seal, and talk to him.

His name was Gartan

He was a merchant.

That was all.

Well that was a wasted sand seal—I ran back to the safety of Gerudo Town, as it was nearest.... and saw another guy, running around. Literally running before the forward wall.

I stopped him to talk. His name was Bozai, and he sported obnoxious glasses, an overlarge chin, and unflatteringly long dark hair.

But he also had.... Sand Boots? That let him run at normal speed over the sand?

Heck yes!

But Nope, says he. He would mayyyybe give them to a girl, but not a guy.

Huh.... Well it seemed an interesting item to keep my eyes out for anyway.

But it still didn’t get me into the town.

I saw Lukan come up the road to enter the city! But nothing she could offer was much help to get inside either.

I tried walking around the outer wall—there were other entrances, but they too were of course guarded by Gerudo.

I even climbed up on top of the wall a little bit....

I could see into the town.

A handful of red-haired girls, oblivious with their backs to me. Some were so young....

It felt indecent.

I did not drop down inside. I just kept circumnavigating.... and kept running into Bozai and his ridiculous boots—turned out he was running around trying to show off and catch some Gerudo lady’s eye.

Well.... good luck with that, Bozai.

All of the Gerudo guards told me much the same thing, this was Gerudo Town, no voe allowed, the Divine Beast this, the burning desert that, blah blah blah....

I finally tried talking to Benja again, by the shrine. And this time, I found out what he had meant before when he said it was all research.

Benja told me he’d heard of a man who knew a way to sneak into Gerudo Town! A man who’d been in and out of the city several times before! That’s why Benja was keeping such a sharp eye on the road leading in—he wanted to catch the man at it and learn the secret.

He also said the man frequently visited Kara Kara Bazaar.

Huh.... well this was interesting news!

When it was cool enough I grabbed a sand seal and hightailed it back to Kara Kara Bazaar, and told Robsten I had found his caravan leader.

This came as a relief to Robsten, and I told him further that his caravan leader was keeping an eye out for that guy—it would definitely be somebody sneaky.... And I asked him if he’d seen anybody like that.

Somebody sneaky?

AND HE SAYS “There was that pretty Hylian gal at the general store. It’s unusual to see a Hylian girl dressed like a Gerudo...”

?

!?

Oh...

my....

Under The Sentinel Sun

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018

Under The Sentinel Sun

In the morning I bought all of Shailu’s arrows—normal, Fire, Ice, Shock, and Bomb. The Bomb Arrow was.... expectedly more expensive, though expecting it did little to soften the deal.

And then Shailu was out of stock.

She’d only had one of each.

....

So outside, I bought all of Beedle’s arrows.

I still was not giving him my Energetic Rhino Beetle, though.

After this I explored a part of the bazaar I had not gotten to before—the part that first made me recognize the place as holding one of my memories. I’d seen it from way, way far away on the backside of the Gerudo Highlands, long, long before:

The large, characteristically bulbous rock formation jutting high above the inn, draped on all sides with rugs on ropes so that it almost resembled a hot air balloon.

It was easy enough to find the couple of ladders that led up to the top. But when I got there.... nothing was there.

That was strange, I thought. David had seemed so full of anticipation for when I climbed up there.

Then again it wouldn’t be the first time we gave each other puzzled looks over game happenings or non-happenings that didn’t line up between our separate playthroughs.

Seems the event programmers rather did the thing properly in this open world....

With nothing left to do in town and daylight starting to burn, I set out for Gerudo Town to the southwest.

But not far from the oasis, I started to pant and sigh—it was too hot.

So I put on my Flamebreaker Armor.

It didn’t help.

What? :c

I ran back toward the cool shade of the bazaar—Why didn’t my Flamebreaker Armor help? It could withstand the heat of the volcano. It could keep me from spontaneously combusting! Couldn’t it do anything to insulate me from the desert heat?

Or did it perhaps act like an oven instead?

Ughh....

On the way back to the bazaar I struck up a conversation with a Gerudo who was running in my same direction. Kyra was her name.

“Okay... it’s a voe. You can do this. Remember your training,” she muttered under her breath.

Oh my gosh what. X-)

She then launched into a romantic introduction outlining how she was going out into the world searching for her dreams. “You’re a part of my dreams, aren’t you?” she asked with a cute, girlish bounce in her posture.

The available responses made me laugh:

“You’re my dream girl!”

. . . . or . . . .

“Just a guy takin’ a walk.”

XD

Eh in the end I decided I didn’t want to lead her on. “Just a guy takin’ a walk,” I said, and she immediately dropped her girlish air like a sack of potatoes.

“If that’s the case then there’s no more point talking to you,” she deadpanned with all the tenderness of a cactus.

Dang.

I guess.... she had good training at least. She had seemed like such an eager young n00b....

Why didn’t my Flamebreaker Armor work?

I guessed I would need to make some cooling elixirs for myself. Or only travel at night.

At the bazaar I found some other people to talk to, including one Robsten, who said his caravan leader had gone to Gerudo Town to negotiate entry, but had not come back yet.

Hmmm....

Another young man standing on a little scaffold behind one of the piles of goods said he was watching the sandstorm around the Gerudo Highlands, waiting for it to clear, so he could go for the treasure it concealed....

Hmmmm....

Huh!

I tried running back toward the mountain. Maybe that would be different—

Nope. Too hot that way, too.

I was stuck.

Well, not really. But I didn’t want to warp away; there were no shrines nearby.

Hmm.

I made a cooling elixir. But....

Well I’ve never been one for elixirs.

I decided to wait for nightfall.

In the meantime I spoke to Kyra again, wondering if she had anything different to say. She didn’t, and I was once again “Just a guy takin’ a walk”, and once again dismissed just as coldly.

It was an interesting hobble, being held captive by the desert sun. And nothing I could don would form a permanent solution against it!

Well, I guess it does make sense.

And I would know.

But when the sun finally began to sink and the desert began to cool off I ran out for Gerudo Town, wearing my Lizalfos Mask, just in case.

I once again met Kyra running the other way.

“You again?” she said, “I’m on my personal journey of learning and discovery so it would be great if you could not disrupt it.” She paused. “Unless... Do you think you’re part of my destiny? My dream life?” Or some such words.

Eh, third time’s the charm. Just to see what would happen, I answered with a big hearty “You’re my dream girl!”

Kyra straightened up at once and said, “My vaba always said nothing’s so shady as a voe who talks about dream this and dream that. I guess she was right.”

OUCH. XD

I felt kind of pathetic in the Lizalfos Mask.

Why are Gerudo so tall....?

“Run along, voe. I’m busy,” she said, and left.

Wow.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Carrying on.

Kara Kara Bazaar

Evening of Friday, January 5, 2018 ~ 3

Kara Kara Bazaar

Situated round the hub of a cool oasis, ringed with palm trees, Kara Kara Bazaar seemed rather much like a stable: a sprinkling of merchants and other characters, a place to sleep, a lit wok, a local dog.... and Beedle.

I still wasn’t handing over my Energetic Rhino Beetle to him.

There were, however, no horses in the vicinity; all traffic here seemed to be on foot or not at all.

Most of the residents were Gerudo, and most of the Gerudo seemed concerned in some degree with expressing their loathing of the Yiga.

Well I guessed we were somewhat closer to that winding Satan Canyon with all the frogs and ant lion traps.

The merchants sat out in front of tents and tarped piles of boxes with their goods—fruit, mostly. “Good...day...” said the first one I talked to, “That’s how you say it where you come from, right?”

So cute! XD

The one elderly Gerudo merchant I saw had her hair (still very red!) pulled back in an elaborate updo adorned with beads and jewels. She complained so sorely about the heat, for a desert dweller, that I felt a little bad not buying anything from her. But I wasn’t interested in fruit just now.

And then I saw another Rito.

A thrill took me—I had never met any other Rito besides Kass before! I hurried to where this other lazed back on some rocks beside the water. Are you a girl bird or a boy bird....? David and I wondered....

The Rito’s name was Guy.

“Oh you’re a man-bird,” I said, and David laughed.

Apparently Guy had not been fully prepared for the pounding desert heat—if he just had a cooling elixir maybe he’d be able to continue on his travels....

The sidequest name flashed across the top of the screen: An Ice Guy.

....

I once read that groaning has been the appropriately appreciative response to puns since the days of the Roman Empire.

....

Yup. XD

I’d never made a cooling elixir before, but I certainly had enough darners for it. I made one now at the wok, and took it back to Guy. Oh, he was happy to get it—and he gave me a purple rupee for my trouble!

And then.... he taught me how to say ‘thank you’ in Gerudo: “Sarqso”.

Heh. Cool. >u<

Another Gerudo sat on a rug beneath some propped up, textile shade. “Mother wouldn’t be all right with a delicate voe like you,” she said of looking at me.

These Gerudo....

We talked. Her name was Rhondson, and she was looking for the love of her life.

Why the rush? I asked her.

“It’s incredibly rare for a male to be born to the Gerudo, so we travel to find husbands,” she said. And she wondered if there was someone out there for her....

Hang in there, Rhondson.

I stepped into the inn—which seemed to double as a shop, for my eyes fell on—

BOY DO THEY GOT THE ARROWS. C8

There they were, lined up in a neat little row along the wall, every variety except for Ancient. Shailu, the Gerudo behind that little counter, couldn’t be bothered much to chat about them, though—she was too absorbed in a book.

I would definitely have to remember this place—and so placed a bow-and-arrow stamp on my map right then and there.

By now it was about 8:30 or just past in the evening. I spoke to Kachoo, the actual innkeep, whose name I thought sounded like a sneeze, and.... aw heck.... asked for a soft bed, with a wake up call in the morning.

“Soft bed it is!” said Kachoo, “Sleep well!”

“Sarqso,” I told her.

. .  .   .    .     .       .

The time-passing music was different for the soft bed sleep—much embellished and quite fancy.

David turned in my periphery and stared at me intently during the little refrain.

But I did not stare back.

We weren’t playing Skies of Arcadia.

In the face of my vexations

Evening of Friday, January 5, 2018 ~ 2

In the face of my vexations

I bought all the arrows from that donkey-pulling merchant at the Gerudo Canyon Stable.

The sun was sinking. I had to hurry.

Calisa was nowhere to be seen. But there was another Gerudo—Lukan—whom I had seen by the stable before. Lukan was a soldier who posed as a merchant, in order to keep a better eye out for bandits from the Yiga Clan.

I thought about walking out with her for.... another attempt at the desert, but....

That life had already been lived.

And yet how I still pressed to repeat even a nighttime journey just the same.

I turned my back on the stable, and set my face toward the end of the canyon and the beginning of the sand....

Three Stalmoblins clawed up out of the earth.

Dang it.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go—

I dashed to isolate one of them, cutting him down quickly and dispatching the head—

But there was another voice behind me.

I turned to take on the second monster—and saw Lukan engaged with the third!

She was a soldier after all.

The manied hands made.... such light work.

And Lukan gave me a warming dish as thanks for the team effort!

Maybe I’ll walk out with Lukan after all, I thought, picking up the monster bits that had rolled back toward the stable.

And so it was Lukan’s company I kept as I walked once again into the icy, starlit desert.

It seemed Calisa did want to come along after all, though; for after a time I noticed she and some other merchant had started out from the canyon some distance behind us.

Well, the more the merrier.

Lukan advised me on the dangers of the desert as we traveled: “There are sandstorms so thick out there you can’t tell vai from voe.”

Vai, huh? Must be their word for female....

It was six in the morning when we came close to the bazaar, and Vah Naboris rumbled and roared.

The sandstorm was greenish, lighter with the dawn, and not the same. Not as good.

Not the blue pre-dawn dimness that was light enough to the eyes, dark enough to the heart, and far enough that it might have held the vast emptiness of space. The color of desolation.

But I took it.

And Ripp the guard told me all about the Divine Beast once more.

....

Nine o’clock.

....

Why is it so difficult?

I wish I could forget, but I have to remember....

Zelda ran panting over the desert sand. Ran for her life. Head, neck, and arms pumping momentum over exhausted legs. Tired, desperate, ragged gasps punctuated by the jarring of terrified vocal chords as she turned and turned again and turned again to see behind her.

A Yiga Clansman. Red and lithe. The vision of speed. Low and streamlined as a cat.

His scythe was drawn.

She ran.

In all the desert so open and vast, the one jutting hill of beige stone approaching fast on her left—

Two more Yiga leapt out from behind it to bar her way. Scythes—

Of course they planned it that way.

She had not wherewith to fight.

She could not turn left or right, only back and forth in snapping glances as they closed in, the chaser stepping now; his run was over. And in the whirling panic to measure and shrink from the press at every side she stumbled to the ground. On palms and rump, heels and elbows she shuffled herself backward, away from the chaser, shaking as he neared.

And the chaser stepped his last step and raised his scythe above his head against the dusty sky and they meant to kill and it was happening too fast and there was no hesitation and his arm reached its apex and came rushing down.

Metal clashed and sparked against metal—the scythe flew up into the air.

One stroke.

Zelda turned with a gasp.

But Link wasn’t looking at her—his sword was still outstretched from the parry as he stared the other two down.

Behind them both, the chaser’s limbs folded and he fell on his side, limp, and dead.

The other two Yiga stepped back uncertainly....

Link didn’t flinch. And Zelda only looked at his face: steady, and hard, the gaze unreturned for it was busy, as her breath came back to her.

I think.... that this is the first time I have ever felt . . . . heartless, for the rapier precision I commit by my words.

What is this log doing to me?

The Entry Not To Be Acknowledged

Waking of Saturday, November 25, 2017

The Entry Not To Be Acknowledged

Upon starting up my game I was presented with a sidequest banner across the top of my screen the like of which I.... really would never have expected.

David did mention something about it happening in his game, though....

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

It was something about.... if I looked into the night sky for red shooting stars in three different locations....

I suppose time will tell.

I ventured into the desert that evening. Calisa, that heavyset Gerudo who had called me a treasure, was headed that way as well. I walked with her.

As the sun set it became so cold I could see my breath. And soon, it became necessary to don my Warm Doublet.

But as always, the climate did nothing to dissuade a resident population of monsters. I had it out with a Red Lizalfos, and Calisa gifted me with a spicy mushroom dish for killing it.

“Why are there so many monsters around here?” she asked.

There were a lot of monsters. I could hear a group of them yammering through the night in a little hidden depression that the road bent around. It was slow going, walking at Calisa’s pace, but I liked her company in this strange, foreign environment.

As the night entered its depth before the dawn, we drew near the oasis I had seen on my map—the place I had recognized long ago—the location I knew contained one of my memories.

Just before we reached it however....

The Divine Beast roared.

It was a terrifying sound. An awful bellowing that rent the darkness. And the cinematic showed the enormous thing moving in the dusky nothing of the desert air. Lightning crashed about its towering frame as it stomped in the gloom, in the terrifying dimness. Left legs, right legs, left legs, right legs.... Heh, like a real camel, I thought in spite of myself, as it faded beyond the night’s sight.

Kara Kara Bazaar.

I knew there was a memory here.

Calisa walked on ahead, but I stopped to chat with the armor-clad Gerudo standing watch at the oasis’ boundary. Ripp was her name.

“Gerudo Town is still a fair way to the southwest from here,” she said, “If you’re planning on heading there, I’d recommend you rest up for a bit first. Though, you ARE a voe... Even if you made it to Gerudo Town, you wouldn’t be able to get in.”

Guess it’s no boys allowed.

There’s a law forbidding it.

Ripp went on to inform me that the Divine Beast, Vah Naboris, had started acting up a while back, kicking up a storm with its endless treading through the desert. A tempest of lightning seemed to follow wherever it went. That’s why she was keeping an eye on it. It kept to the wasteland for the most part, but there was always the chance it could head for the oasis, or for Gerudo Town.

I could see Calisa far ahead now as the sun began to rise and the ground began to warm.

There was only one sensible thing to do now—I could see it glowing there to the left.

Mmmm but I walked past it first to catch a lizard.

Stalling.

The threat of buzzkill hung heavy in the room....

....

Against my better judgement, I stepped into the memory light, and pressed A.

There were no words spoken.

Running.

Running.

Tension.

Imminent impending—

Flash and clang—

Impasse buzzkill dropped and the moment was marked and the imprint was scarred and the sound was Indian ink on my skin in all the shapes I would forever want to forget but would never be able to because I can’t.

Idiot.

I turned off the game.

And I didn’t apologize for being hurt.