And that has made all the difference.

Afternoon of Tuesday, July 2, 2019 (plus several finicky editings through July 16 because I couldn’t leave it alone) .... (and just one note from 2023)

And that has made all the difference.

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve beaten the game.

And I guess.... I can’t help but feel a kind of letdown.

I’ve experienced it before; I’m sure many people have. You draw near the end of an epic adventure, and you can sense the finality impending somehow, and you almost don’t want to proceed.... even though the Hero in you knows he must.

You don’t want it to be over.

But I guess, for me, here and now at least, it’s not really over. Not really. There are still two shrines to get. More Koroks to find. My Compendium to fill.... And of course the faraway dread terror of the option to Start A New Game, which would overwrite the present. Dratblast it, Nintendo, why couldn’t you make multiple saves....?

But then, they’ve never really done that, not for Zelda games. You were always allotted one file, and that was it. And it sufficed. I think some other JRPGs must have spoiled me....

At any rate it doesn’t have to be really over. There are new files to play, old sequences to break, and beyond a new game.... another new game. For I have seen the new Zelda trailer. Or another old game, for there are some Zeldas I haven’t played yet. Or another different game, for I’ve been hankering after Tales of Symphonia lately for some reason. Or maybe the Final Fantasy 10 and 10-2 I picked up for Switch. Always heard good things about those ones....

So I guess this kind of adventure is never really over. But it does come in seasons. And seasons still have to sleep. And that does leave you feeling.... kind of empty. Though like a bygone feast you can still taste it on your lips, and there is great satisfaction in the memory as you finally recline to digest.

I would make a terrible Buddhist.

....

I still have not moved from where I left my saves two weeks ago, but I’ve decided.... not to go back and play from the save before I entered the Sanctum. I won’t overwrite where I’ve been. I don’t want to dishonor the very first ending of my adventure, or vanish my initial slaying of the Great Beast of Malice.

Things experienced for the first time are different. They’re special.... How did I put it....? “....Initial playthroughs are always special, because the secrets and surprises are all fresh, the twists and turns jarring....”

So long ago I said that, back at the head of this very log.

Good thing I wrote it down. The shortest pencil is longer than the longest memory.

And speaking of things written down, I found what I thought I had remembered—I did experience that same conundrum of choice before, at the end of Skyward Sword. The abominable saving quandary. I had journaled about it. Of course I had. Because I am the Journaling Fiend. In case you hadn’t noticed by now:

“Sunday, June 10, 2012, into the very early morning of Monday, June 11, 2012

I stood stock-still, fearful of accidentally pushing any buttons that might kill the buzz. But as everything finally faded to black, I was presented with a choice.

Do you want to play in Hero Mode?

The affirmative answer read, “Bring it on.”

The negative answer.... well, I can’t remember.

What pause this gave me.

But I never wanted to play this game again, so.... no. No thanks.

Are you sure you want to return to the start menu without saving?

Augh, but I did enjoy the feelings of those cinematics. Although they’re never as good the second time....

Um, no, not sure. Yes. Save.

Your progress up to this point will be deleted. Are you sure you want to save and do Hero Mode?

Deleted? Oh dear. Wait. No, don’t save.

Are you sure you want to return to the start menu without saving?

.... My eyes bugged in flummoxation.

Cinematics, viewed often, lose their charm. I’d negotiated the same turmoil at the first savepoint after Groose crashed my skydiving.

I couldn’t go through those again. No. The adventure I’d just survived, the shattering of my shield in some godforsaken phantom realm of turmoil and lightning.... that insistent little fairy I had forgotten....

No, I wouldn’t go back there again. Among the million different stories told for the million different players, my own version of this adventure had come to too satisfying an end.

This story needed to be saved and put to rest.”

So even then I couldn’t bring myself to erase what had already been done, I see.

Maybe it comes from a journaler’s need to record. To save. For better or worse.

Save file linearity notwithstanding, I ought to be grateful that Breath of the Wild seems to end Ocarina of Time style, rather than Skyward Sword style. That is to say, I can beat the game and have the ending under my belt, and then play the end again without having to start from the very beginning.

And still have time to play in between.

The whole world is open to me now, all of Hyrule. And I am strong. I want to find those shrines.... and then storm the castle again....

....

Did I write down all of Skyward Sword, too? No. No I didn’t. Just bits from the ending, as they struck me so deeply.

Heh, so deeply I could feel their reverberations even here, as Fi still sang her song from a bleeding blade on the battlefield, deep in that last rainy memory....

Did you hear that soundbyte?

Hahhh!

It has always pleased me to write down that which strikes me. Or if not always, then for a very long time at least. It’s therapeutic. It’s insightful. It’s often surprising and inspiring! They say you don’t learn much when your mouth is moving. But I would dare to say it’s the opposite case when your pen is scrawling or your keys are ticky-ticking. In writing down what strikes you, you might just strike yourself in turn.

And in this case of logging down the entire video game of Breath of the Wild.... well, it’s true that it has pleased me, yes.... It has pleased me, bothered me, tickled me, TORMENTED ME, DELIGHTED me, INFURIATED ME, ENRAPTURED ME, and driven me STARK, RAVING and GIBBERING BONKERS.

The entire game.

I wrote the entire game.

I have journaled my way through an entire video game.

What an intriguing notion.

What an exciting project.

What a gargantuan undertaking.

I knew I should’ve set all my affairs in order before I started playing.

Five megabytes this document weighs now. Five megabytes!?

Have you ever written for five megabytes straight? 614 pages of solid twelve-point Times New Roman inside one-inch margins? Though there are some dregs below this down to page 630.... and a lot of material preceding this that remains unedited yet as of this writing; that’ll push this part further down.... And it’s all been slowly shoved ever lower by the ever-expanding CONTENTS section anyway.... I knew the confluences would never last whenever I remarked on what page I was on.... Where’s Revali now?

....Heh, looks like he’s been pushed to page 501.

Poor sod.

Five megabytes....

279,000 words.

[And I’m sorry to say, as of the deep waking of Thursday, May 11, 2023, that I can calculate the final size no further, due to much of the latter portions of this work being completed in segments post-computer-failure. But maybe some day.]

I wrote the entire game.

I’ve scripted a searchable Let’s Play.

I’ve birthed a mutant metafanfiction.

I actually made it through.

....

It’s been a different experience for me than for anybody else, I think.

Well, of course it has; that’s how Zelda games are, and especially this one. But.... I mean a very different experience. Very far from.... normal.

And I cannot deny that it has affected my playing.

It takes time to write. And being tied to the log.... I couldn’t move as fast as I might have otherwise done in the game.

I remember playing Twilight Princess for the first time, plunging ahead, hurtling forward through the frays, into the woods, into the darkness, breaking out of dungeons, stalking in fearful yearning through lonely shadows, running in desperation and longing for stolen friends, staying up late into the nights, losing sleep and geeking all over my friends the following days, lamenting that I COULD NOT FIND THE CHILDREN.

How invigorating, how all-consuming it was! What a RUSH!

....

But I couldn’t do that with Breath of the Wild. I couldn’t plunge ahead.

Or I didn’t let myself.

I had to move slowly.

Or I chose to.

I chose to put the game away for weeks at a time and force myself to catch up on logging when I really wanted to keep playing.

Wary of spoilers, I chose to shut myself out from certain internet groups. I chose to stop watching certain art circles—oh, that was the hardest. I chose to interact only cautiously with other Zelda fans whilst I floundered behind in the game.

For two years I shied away from the jabbering Zelda community, to keep the discoveries and twists and turns safe for me to discover on my own. And whenever I did find something incredible or unbelievable, all I could do was wonder.... Have people already talked about this? Did they discuss it all in a flurry, months ago? Were there funrowdy times of tightly localized exploration or experimentation, with bursts of forum posts and YouTube videos? ....Or am I the only one in all the world who knows about.... this? And I too isolated to ask aloud.

It felt very.... solitary, a lot of the time. Even when I’d caught up to David, and could finally relieve him from keeping his mouth so faithfully, painfully shut for me. He was heroic, really.

Do I regret any of this?

No. I don’t. I can’t. I chose this.

And besides, the experience was not without its own kind of reward and fulfillment. Chewing and stewing for so long over every point in the game, giving myself time enough for writing, time enough for deepest thought upon every last person and creature and bug that stepped into my path, has granted me a finer and more flavorful vision of the myriad denizens of Hyrule than I could ever have expected. Like Pi drifting slowly over the ocean, seeing and knowing every fish and turtle and whale, instead of only the spray of a rapid wake.

I really did care for Leekah and her poor unlucky happenstance. How could I not, when I barred myself from leaping headlong into so many other multitudes of things to worry about? I really rooted for tender young Kabetta, and seeing his efforts made me both proud and worried. It was heartening and encouraging to see Mils and Mina standing their ground so bravely. Calyban’s turn to generosity truly warmed my heart. Benny’s brave curiosity was endearing and inspiring. I wished Tye and Sorelia all the happiness in the world. I couldn’t bring myself to blame Jerrin.... too much. But I could Zyle; OH who raised that man....? I sometimes felt sorry for murdering hapless red Bokoblins far below my level, while I was under the guise of my Mask. Fronk’s bowed and weeping gratitude made every second of the outlandish pains I took to find and bring back his wife Mei absolutely worth it. Seeing Kass come home to be with his family and make beautiful music with his daughters was so utterly fulfilling, especially to my musician’s heart. And hearing lessons from Sesami’s friend Palme—the man with the unflattering haircut, the poor lost wanderer, the softest and most unable man in a fight—as he delivered the truest, deepest, and most unexpectedly powerful words of wisdom for a meaningful life... is an instance I will treasure.

It’s been a different experience for me, playing this game. Different than it otherwise might have been.

But I don’t regret it.

....

There’s a strange catch there, though. When you think about it, I really can’t regret it. If it was a choice between playing it through for the first time normally, and playing it through for the first time with a journal in tow.... there is no way I would be able to experience both of those. I can play it through for the first time only once.

And so unable to compare the two, how could I know which would have been better or more enjoyable?

I couldn’t.

It’s like that Robert Frost poem about two roads. You are only one traveler; you can’t walk them both.

But I suppose such fractaled pathways are what make life interesting. It’s all right to favor one horizon over another; there are enough to go around.

And from what I have observed, in myself and in others, I think I can rest on that.... as far as The Legend of Zelda ~ Breath of the Wild goes.... I think any pathway would have proven to be good, beautiful, beloved and fulfilling.

But I think I really did take the road less traveled.

I can’t know what it’s like to play Breath of the Wild like I’ve played other Zelda games. And that’s all right. But maybe.... if I’ve wielded my words right.... you reading this can glean some small taste of what it’s like to play the game with Contraltissimo’s very fine-toothed comb. Maybe the experiences are similar after all. I wouldn’t know.

But you might.

Looks like you have the advantage here.

And in truth.... I am glad to offer it, if you’re willing to take it.

After all, it’s dangerous to go alone.

Now, I think I’ll finally have a listen to that Breath of the Wild ~ Sound Selection disc that came with the statue and the Switch case and everything else in that super-mega-deluxe-or-whatever-it-was version of the game I bought.

Hey, music can be spoilerish too! Of course I put it away for later. It was only recently that I actually took off the shrinkrap and loaded the tracks onto my original black iPod Nano, Sylphie. Named for a mermaid.

And now.... I think I’ll finally let myself enjoy it.

As well as the complete soundtrack I bought more recently. Hm, which includes music from the DLC....

Guess I’d better play that, too. I did purchase it, two years ago. I’ve just never booted it up. But in the sparse visits I allowed myself into the Zelda circles of the internet in the meanwhile, I received some very high recommendations for it.

Think I’ll play with my amiibos too at some point. And maybe.... see how the game feels on the Switch.

Man. I’ve put off a lot these past two years.

I just wanted the pure experience first.

Well, I got it.

Boy did I get it.

Turns out anything worth doing.... really is worth overdoing.

That’s why all Heroes are called Fools.

This is Contraltissimo, signing off.

 

It's Barbaric Out There

Waking of Saturday, November 10, 2018 ~ 2

It’s Barbaric Out There

I made just one more dash past the Lynels to get back to the labyrinth, and give it a proper explore.

This was the North Lomei Labyrinth.

Huh. But the Lomei Labyrinth Island was just as northward, wasn’t it?

I didn’t let it bother me. I just made my perfunctory circumnavigation—happily discovering a Korok on the way, in a green-leafed tree that was most out of place here in this frozen wasteland—before stepping over the threshold, and hearing the voice of the monk.

Qaza Tokki addressed me and informed me that his treasure awaited me at the labyrinth’s end....

I went to it. There were some Lizalfos nests in here, some of them SERIOUS. And more Malice. But this time, I actually FOUND AN EYEBALL. I shot it, and a few of the magenta pools evaporated to reveal some extra treasure chests.... neat!

It was a cool maze, and quite difficult! I had to look beyond the lateral to solve it.... But at length I finally came to the Qaza Tokki Shrine, where the monk simply granted me his Blessing.

And inside the treasure chest.... Here it comes, I thought.... OuO

BARBARIAN LEG WRAPS!

I HAD THE SET!  >⩌<

OH IT LOOKED SO COOL!

Aahh! Time to hit up the Great Fairies! .... Later.

I went back to the stable, and thought about climbing more of the icy hills on the other side of the snowfield, but.... it was late.

I satisfied myself with listening to a few bedtime stories from Old Man Monkton, who told me the tragic tales of his childhood friends Harry and Mary. They had always been warned of the dangers of going near the maze and the nearby canyon ruins. But one day Monkton urged Harry to go into the maze as a sort of test of courage. He never saw Harry again. He said the mere memory still breaks his heart to this day. And Mary? One day she and Monkton went to the canyon to get a glimpse of the ruins. But Mary lost her footing and in the blink of an eye she slipped and tumbled down the cliff. Monkton never saw her again. He said that memory would haunt him to his dying day.

He said he guessed children have no real sense of danger, and that innocent curiosity can sometimes cause tragedies that can never be taken back. But as he grew older, he learned to overcome his grief over losing them, saying that you can’t change the past, only the future.

I was pretty shocked at how.... dark this was turning! Until Monkton went on to say, “Harry and Mary never made it back, but two of their descendants are in that stall over there. My only friends out in these parts were horses, you see. I suppose that’s still true to this day.”

....Oh.

They were horses.

Well that made it.... a bit more bearable I guess. XD

Goodness.

Turning the Tables

Waking of Thursday, May 31, 2018 ~ 2

Turning the Tables

Many, many moons ago, before any moons I could remember, before moons were moons, I hurried with a shake from the cold and entered into the Keh Namut Shrine, high on the Great Plateau, and found myself face to face with a three-legged devil terror that wanted to kill me.

It was only the second Guardian I had ever faced, the first having appeared before me in the Shrine of Oman Au.

But in engaging that second one.... somehow....

....Somehow I blocked that one with my shield and learned something called the Perfect Parry.

Hopefully I’ll be able to employ this more purposefully in the future....

That was it....

I checked my list of skills. It was actually called the Perfect Guard, but I think I preferred the alliteration.

That was it. That was what I was remembering.

I.... had never taken the time to finesse my swordplay—I’d always imagined I would, in the future, at some point....

But I never had.

But now....

Well I wanted to show David something but he wasn’t coming and I dared not do anything important in the meanwhile but I could go hunting because I needed those gears for the Ancient Cuirass—

AND I WAS GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME FOR THE PRESENT ANYWAY.

I needed gears. And only Guardians had gears.

So....

Up to my aid came the memory of an accidental parry, and....

I wanted to test it.

I wanted to try doing it on purpose.

Perhaps it had only been foolish to think of making the attempt in the middle of that basement full of nightmares, but.... where could I....?

I knew.

Back to Robbie’s place—The Decayed Guardian down the hill would suffice for the experiment. I floated down to say hello....

I.... stood my ground.... and held my shield....

No was it a two-handed weapon in my grasp? What was I doing—Daruk’s protection wore thinner....

I had come in too fast without a plan—And then as I could not take much more I made a dash for the other side of the stone, falling shamefully back to a panicked mashing of buttons.... I was Z-targeting, but I was facing away. The blast came. Daruk roared again.

But—

....

And the Guardian died?

How had—?

Was it because the shield had been on my back?

That happened to me in Majora’s Mask.

But if the shield were not actually deployed (for it was a Guardian shield)....

....

This needed more practice.

I collected the Guardian’s remains—there were no gears.

Cheapskate.

I was out of Ancient Arrows anyway. I didn’t want to go charging up against any more Guardians, decayed or not, without some backup. So it was back to Robbie’s again, where I bought ten more arrows. But I only had eighteen or nineteen gears. Not enough for the Cuirass.

Soon.... VERY SOON....

I warped to Kakariko Village—there were a couple more fairly manageable Guardians near there. I wanted to see if I could get more gears, continue practicing the Perfect Parry and, if need be, put my new arrows to use.

Oh my gosh I was hunting Guardians.

My first target was that one in the pit out back, at the top of the Sahasra Slope.

That first live one I’d ever seen....

Where was this Courage coming from?

....

I guess.... the lightning strikes near you often enough, and makes the earth to shake....

At some point you just stop trembling.

....

But you try not to get struck nonetheless.

My timing was very much off, and I lost my footing in the fireballs. One laserbolt destroyed my Guardian Shield and I had to switch to a Knight’s Shield—It wasn’t Ancient Tech; would it work the same?

This was a dangerous skill to practice; there was no padded training arena for this. But Daruk protected me. And Mipha kept watch.

I managed to take the Pit Guardian down using only the Perfect Parry followed up with normal arrows to its eye.

I slew a Guardian without an Ancient Arrow.

And the second one just through the PitGate and out on the grass was almost as manageable! But, as Daruk became exhausted with my poor sense of timing—and, as I also lost my Knight’s Shield to a laserbolt—I did use an Ancient Arrow to finish that one off.

Two Guardians with one Arrow. Heh.

I made one last stop at Cotera’s to see if there were anything I could upgrade—turned out there were—I bumped up the defense on some of my Circlets.

And then it was back to Robbie’s once again because those two Guardians out back of Kakariko had bumped me up to twenty-four gears!

I HAD ENOUGH GEARS FOR THE CUIRASS!

AND CHERRY MADE IT FOR ME!

KhuAGH! My wallet!  >⩄<

But it didn’t matter—I had enough rupees—and now I had two of the three pieces of armor that would defend me from my deepest nightmares!

DANG it, Nintendo! I said it before! Why do they do this!

The only way to acquire the thing that would make your most dreaded trial more bearable.... is to first complete your most dreaded trial without it! OH you cruel ironic building my character so I can—hrrmph!

Back to Cotera’s and I upgraded my new Cuirass, for there were no gears required for the first level. Plenty of lesser parts, but I had enough of those to spare.

There were gears required for the second level of upgrades: ten gears per piece for the Ancient Armor set. I assumed it would be the same case with the Ancient Greaves. After the twenty gears it would cost me to acquire those in the first place....

These things were so expensive.... and not just in rupees.

But.... I was getting better.

Soon I would become better still.

A Blood Moon rose as I ran around Cotera’s forest.

More gears would be ready and waiting for me to collect them.

SOON.

I just needed a few more shields. Mine were running out pretty quick.

Sometimes

Waking of Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Sometimes

D-amphetamine.

Venlafaxine.

Prazosin.

Mirtazapine.

Ketamine.

Theta burst.

Uhrmm the Iodine feels pretty good, actually. Better.

Better than I’ve been . . . in years.

Thanks, Alex.

Had it really been three months?

Three months?

That was so long....

And how long had it been since December? Nearly half a year?

What was wrong with me?

My name is Andrea and I suffer from depression.

Sometimes I used to joke to myself and to others: “I can’t kill myself—I haven’t played the next Zelda game!”

‘Cause, you know . . . . it feels like there’s always gonna be another one . . . . somewhere down the road.

What happened in December? Oh, I was just writing a letter. To the Big Guy. Aonuma. Regarding this log. Wanting to share. Just wanting to share my mad little fan-love catastrophe I seem to have created here.

I haven’t sent it yet—the lower corner of the back page just looked so empty, like it wanted to hold some fanart. So I set to drawing some.

I haven’t finished that either.

Maybe I just wanted it to be too perfect. And I set out to do it, and then I get daunted and discouraged; I used to draw ALL—THE FRIGGIN’—TIME, what the heck was the matter with me?

Sometimes you have bad breakdowns.

Dark times.

But sometimes you find a respite, or solace from a kindly hand.

Encouragement.

And this Tuesday . . . . well it was blessedly quiet and calm. Much needed after two hours’ sleep the night before and only a brief nap in between.

Not three months. I couldn’t go past three months. I turned on the game.

I was still in the Deku Tree’s Navel.

And there was that doppelganger song again. Like an older, slightly more mature brother to the SS Faron Woods music.

Ah but even now as I try to recall it.... all I can hear is the colorful Kikwi forest....

But it was . . . . nice.

I wished I could play the discovery of the Master Sword again, but.... my last manual save was all the way back in the Spring of Courage, and the next autosave after that was already in the Keo Ruug Shrine.

Mmmm too far removed and out of reach....

Hhhh, and I dared not trigger another autosave by moving from the place that I was in—that tight little hollow. I just.... stepped around. Stood.

But the music was still so nice.

Soothing.

It was the nighttime version of the song.

In the end I only paused the game, turned the volume up a bit, and moved to where my computer and tablet were in the other room. How long had Photoshop been open with that file?

I cleaned up Link’s hair quite a bit, and added some more definition to his face—poor guy’s got eyes finally....

I wonder how many bandoliers and accessories I want to bother with. Even the Slate....?

But.... the evening and the conditions were good: I could still draw. I could still draw if I tried and if it was quiet. Maybe things like the Slate won’t be as difficult as I fear they might.

I didn’t realize how much just hearing the music would . . . .

I don’t know, it just made me feel . . . . It made the world feel . . . . softer.

It made it feel okay.

I had just been hurting so much and been so impatient for weeks.

Impatient for everything to just be over with.

I wanted to die.

Sometimes I still do.

Sometimes, I used to joke to myself.

Sometimes, it’s not a joke.

Sometimes you’ve just got to hold on to something.

Words of Wisdom

Waking of Saturday, October 28, 2017 ~ 10

Words of Wisdom

Maybe if I hadn’t been so low on sleep.... I might have reveled in it a bit more—rescuing lost adventurers from the Bokoblins.... Wasn’t this the kind of stuff I kept hoping would turn up in Mei’s sidequest....?

I ran and paraglided my way back to Gerudo Canyon Stable.

The five oily friends were gathered around the warmth of the wok-fire, the resident shepherd dog lounging in their midst.

I spoke to Sesami first:

“Oh, hey! I’ve been waiting for you.

You saved them! I thought my friends

were dead, but you brought them all

back to me!

I can’t thank you enough.

My friends said you were outnumbered,

but you were still able to take those

monsters down with style.

As soon as they all got back safely, a

wave of emotion washed over me.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

I want you to have this.”

Sesami handed me a gold rupee—its radiant golden shine illuminated my soul.

“Sorry it’s so small. Everyone chipped in

for it, but we’re in the middle of

traveling, y’know?

In a way, I’m kind of glad all of this

happened. It’s helped me realize just

how important friendship is.

Opening up to others might make you

more vulnerable, but it’s also the only

way to give your life any value.

That said, caring for others is an

emotional liability, so my friends and I

have all decided to part ways.

Not really sure what the takeaway is

here...”

The banner bearing the title of the sidequest—Missing in Action—flashed across the top of the screen. Status: Complete.

But I still spoke to the adventurers. Flaxel was next:

“I was gonna yell at Sesami for leaving me

to die, but as soon as he saw my face, he

looked like he was gonna start sobbing...

I can’t be mad at him for being scared.

That’s just the way he is.”

She smiled and gave a friendly sigh.

“Anyway, thanks for the help. If I ever get

the chance to save you, I’ll take it.”

And then Canolo:

“If you hadn’t come along...”

She shuddered.

“Thanks for saving me.

I had no idea traveling was so

dangerous. There was nothing like this

in the travel guidebook...

I guess you can’t assume to know

anything until you experience it for

yourself.

But at least I’ve figured out that traveling

isn’t my thing. I’m going to rest here

awhile and then head back home.”

And with a smiling laugh she added as an afterthought:

“I get the feeling that going home isn’t an

option for you, so take care of yourself

out there.”

It was nice to see that the women had calmed down and made up.

Of the four recently returned adventurers, only Oliff was on his feet. He leaned against a stack of nearby crates:

“Your swordsmanship...

It was something straight from the tales

of the legendary hero said to have saved

Hyrule during the Great Calamity!”

I must say it does give me a right sheepish little smile when they bring that up.

“Those dusty old legends are a hundred

years old, but here you are in the flesh!

A modern-day hero!”

He cleared his throat.

“Excuse me for prattling on.

I’ll take my leave now. Thank you again.”

But the NPC didn’t go anywhere. He just stood there with his steely gaze. Like they do.

I rather like that one; he seems a noble swordsman. I truly hope I meet him again in the game some time.

Palme was the last adventurer I spoke to:

“I asked Sesami why he didn’t come to

save me.

He spouted some garbage about the

sword of legend in an attempt to dodge

the conversation.

I thought Sesami was a big wuss, but

then I realized that I’m the wussiest of

all.

Instead of trying to help myself out of

that mess, I cowered and waited for

someone else to help me.

That’s why I’ve decided to split from the

group. I need to stop relying on others

to help me and help myself instead.”

And here he gave a hopeful smile.

“And maybe once I learn to help myself,

I’ll be able to help others.

Like you helped me.”

And on those words from the last adventurer, and glancing at the brightness of the sunlight peeping beneath the dining room curtains.... I called it quits, and started my morning.

I’d been taking a small, evening class on Thursdays—almost an informal get-together, really—and we would just discuss the principles of self-reliance. Avoiding debt, working smarter and harder, maintaining budgets, the importance of networking, of identifying good vocational fits....

It was just a really nice assortment of basic life skills that.... honestly, why don’t they teach those in college?

Oh yeah, because then they couldn’t rope you into being their debt-slave.

They never caught me accepting a student loan. Ugh.

Thanks for teaching me to be money-wise, Mom and Dad.

Some principles I had learned long ago. Some tips and tricks were revelatory and new. Some practices I knew about.... but didn’t practice.

But the whole basic end of it all....

The whole point....

Hahh, that the entirety of our exertions, the culmination of all our aspirations in and out of that class.... should then and there be spoken back to me so succinctly, so precisely, so simply, by that pudgy little man with the unflattering haircut.

“Maybe once I learn to help myself,

I’ll be able to help others.”

Maybe that’s why it just so happened to strike me so deeply that sleep-deprived morning. Heh, the bell it rang was so loud and clear I couldn’t help grinning as I shut down the console.

Why do we learn to help ourselves?

So we can have enough in life.

And with enough in life, we are able to help others.

And why do we help others?

Because.... that’s the only way to give our lives any value.

The Most Dangerous Game

Afternoon of Tuesday, September 19, 2017 ~ 2

The Most Dangerous Game

Out back of Kakariko on the Sahasra Slope, before I met the Bokoblins, I actually took a detour over toward the west. The very first Guardian Stalker I’d ever met was over there, safely down in a dell where it couldn’t reach me. And now I was armed with Ancient Arrows, and a little more experience.

I once again practiced my aim with a few normal arrows before shooting off an Ancient one; and again the Guardian’s life meter emptied in a heartbeat, as it shook and rumbled and collapsed and exploded to the ground.

And it left me Ancient Gears! 8D Why, if I could harvest these Guardians all right.... I’d be well on my way to a set of Ancient Armor!

WHY do Zelda games DO that???  8C

You want the item that makes Terrible Thing easy! Or easier. But the only way to GET said item is to do the Terrible Thing without its help! So that once you acquire the item, the item which would make the Terrible Thing more bearable—YOU ARE NO LONGER DAUNTED.

RURGH it is a WICKEDLY devious method of conveyance for the life lesson that you don’t need the magic feather.

BLAST THEIR MAD GENIUS.

Where the heck was I?

I was killing a Guardian.

I killed the Guardian, collected its spare parts, and ventured down into the dell. I was sure one of the big boulders down there was a Talus. The place was too rocky and open to not be a stage for a boss fight. But none of the boulders I jumped on jumped back at me.

At least, not until I was done exploring and accidentally jumped on just the right one on my way back out of the dell.

And this one was tricky in that its vulnerable protrusion of ore was situated somewhere down near its butt. It stuck out from a surface upon which I could not maintain a footing. I did the best I could with leaping blows from above and below, and eventually the brute went down.

I would have gone straight back to the slope to test out the mask on the Bokoblins after that, but I was further surprised by another Guardian. Another Guardian Stalker creeping around near where the first one had been. Out of the dell this time.

You know, in hindsight, I really should have marked my map with their locations.

Fortunately, habit saved my skin: I was once again keeping to the high ground, and on my grassy upper shelf I hugged the mountain tightly to keep out of the second Guardian’s line of sight.

But somehow, many paces later as I came near the road back into Kakariko again.... the needle red laser found me, the Piano threw a fit, and that Guardian Stalker was coming for me.

I turned to face it, jogged a little away from the cliff. Kept my feet moving.

It still walked as its targeting laser bored into my shirt. Just coming right up to me.

I kept moving—the laser beeped—I dashed to the left.

I had never dodged one of their attacks on foot before.

Leastways not without some cover.

But I saw the blue bolt shoot past me away on the right as I ran away from it, a perpendicular course.

Had I been in some magical Goldilocks Zone of the Guardian’s range? Not yet crossed the deadly event horizon of its targeting laser acquisition speed?

The outside of a record spins faster.

I didn’t think about it. I just nocked an arrow as the Guardian drew closer.

Did I even have time to practice with a normal arrow?

Yes.... yes I think I did make it stutter with a hit to its eye.

And then the Ancient Arrow.... and the Guardian crumbled and rolled down the hill. And I ran to collect its sprawling spare parts. More gears....

I killed a Guardian on open ground.

Just me and him. And I came out on top.

I could kill Guardians.

After I went and sported with the Bokoblins in my mask, I warped to Robbie’s. I was over budget on gears now. That Ancient Cuirass was as good as mine.

But as I looked at Cherry’s wares, I considered. Items of clothing for some parts of the body have a generally higher defense than those for others. Some items of clothing come with special perks. I had come seeking the Ancient Cuirass, but.... would that really be the best choice?

I also considered what materials were required for Cherry to make me more Ancient Arrows. Because I was definitely going to be wanting more of those in the future. Ancient Shafts.... What was my budget there?

It’s tough to go shopping when there are so many different flavors of what can act as currency, and the arrays of what they can purchase so varied and yet overlapping.

In the end the most economical and perk-preserving choice seemed to be the Ancient Helm. The Champion’s Tunic was still quite strong, and it granted me the ability to see my enemies’ life meters. Some Ancient Shafts were required for the Helm’s construction, but not so many that I couldn’t put the balance of what I had toward the purchase of five more Ancient Arrows, for the bulk-discount price of *cough* four hundred rupees. @_@

Eric Sorenson would be proud at least.  :|

Heh, the helm looked.... unearthly! My eyes were covered.

Actually it looked like—

“Hey, I look like a Shrine!” I said to David. ^_^

The top of the helm did come up in that distinctive shape. And the bottom fringe had bright blue little circles all around it, with a slightly more prominent one front and center where my eyes would have been. My hair hung loose in a shaggy golden mane, longer than I’d thought it was.

Actually I thought it looked kinda cool. XD

And so after that it was a warp to the Lomei Labyrinth, a paraglide over the court, and a quick dash into what I believe was the selfsame hole I had hidden in last time.

The Piano heralded the Guardian’s approach, and I let it draw near, and took it down just the same. More gears.

That was my original four Ancient Arrows spent. Five fresh ones left.

As long as I was on a roll, I decided to press my luck, warp to the Akkala Tower, and attempt to take on.... a Flyer.

It was pouring freezing rain when I got there.

I switched to my Warm Doublet, and considered the encircling fiends.... One Flyer’s patrol took it time and again to the dead end of one lonely turret of land that stuck out toward Zorana. Some forgotten bastion with a few crumbling ruins on it—and a few trees for cover. I’d try that one.

I leapt from the tower and paraglided over the Flyer, briefly wondering what would happen if I just dropped down on top of it....

Eh, another time.

I headed for the little row of trees and waited for it to come back.

Rusted cannons still stood faithfully in the pouring rain.

Uh.

It’s a special kind of dread, getting ready to make yourself seen....

The Flyer came back and just got hoppin’ mad when it saw me. When it drew near I took a few desperate practice shots, but the angle was difficult, and the Flyer was too close for me to dodge its first blast. Took out more than half my hearts. But I got up again and nailed the thing with an Ancient Arrow....!

And its life meter only half emptied.

Already it was finding me again, charging up—oh dear.

Mipha had to come to my aid before I was able to hit it again and bring it down completely.

So it took two shots to kill a Flyer.

Well that was good to know.

And now I had three Ancient Arrows left....

....

Maybe in the future I’d just try to stick to the crawlers if I could help it.

Those arrows were expensive.