HOTFOOTING IT

Waking of Saturday, August 12, 2017 ~ 2

HOTFOOTING IT

Perhaps it was that I had so recently finally consumed one of the Spicy Omelets in my inventory. Perhaps it was that I now had plenty of Fireproof Lizards in my pockets. Perhaps I just couldn’t take being called That guy who backed out of the endurance challenge.

Or maybe my shame had finally caught up with me for being such a dawdler.

I warped to the shrine in the desert near Digdogg Suspension Bridge, and hiked from there up into the mountain until I found Bayge, Heehl, Kabetta, and their giant molten hotplate of death.

I hopped up onto it, my clothes started to smoke, and Bayge’s cinematic wound up in an overdone countdown that had me juddering to hit the pause button and find that elixir!

Freedom of movement came soon enough. (Link’s overheated expression in the pause menu looked quite duressed!) I found the elixir, downed it, and returned to the game to find myself.... standing rather sedately on the glowing hot skillet, smoke no longer issuing from my person. That was nice.

I wondered if they’d give me fireproof clothing for beating this! I’d forgotten that it was actually a Shrine Challenge, and so was only slightly disappointed when Bayge called time and the thing rumbled up out of the earth.

The Gorons were all wowed and impressed anyway.

I beat the shrine, collected the Spirit Orb, and decided.... it had been long enough.

With a few more freshly-cooked Fireproof Elixirs in my pockets, I warped to the Eldin Tower.

Setting my face toward what appeared on my map to be the quickest road to Goron City, and what appeared before my face to be a random tangle of ash-slides and twisted rock, I stepped to the edge of the tower, and took a flying leap.

Fwoom! went the thermometer as smoke began billowing from my clothes again. And into the pause menu I went, downed another elixir, returned to the game.... and was safe in my silent glide into the inferno.

The time limit for the elixir’s effect ticked soundlessly away, gleaming unobtrusively in the upper left corner with all the innocence of the impending vacuum of space. The upper volcano was eerie. The glow of the lava so close and ash and lit cinders in the air.

But my boots soon hit the rock, and I was on a mission. I didn’t stop for Lizalfos. I didn’t stop for ore. I didn’t stop for critters.

I had to get to Goron City.

I tried to stay high and cut the corners of the path in my HUD map, capitalizing on the chance to cover distance by paraglider. And when my flight speed and altitude were spent, and I flushed down into the low road, I sprinted. I could only keep on hoofing it up the track.

And then of a sudden I burst through the midst of a gang of Gorons hard at work—the South Mine this place was called. I stopped to talk to a rather swarthy one in a hardhat, some kind of foreman or boss I gathered. The dialogue paused the timer, as I’d hoped it would. But I still didn’t catch his name; I felt too eager to continue.

The Goron simply expounded on what they were about, and how Vah Rudania, the Divine Beast, prevented them from accessing their other mining areas further into the mountain.

How interesting, I thought, and kept on running.

If I’d been feeling a bit more lax, I might have spent some time and thought wondering about the music. There was something.... very familiar about it here in the mining area, and further up the trail. Must’ve been a track I’d heard on a CD; it didn’t sound like it came from a game I owned....

And then Link came to a halt and shook as an awful roaring rent the air—

What about my timer?

The timer was gone. The screen faded instead to a much closer view of the Divine Beast Vah Rudania as it prowled around the cone of the volcano.

My gosh it was....

It was....

But how does one describe the cinematic passing of a Divine Beast, wherein every intricate detail, every curve and corner, every arch, rib and strut of its gleaming bronzy form is at last able to be glimpsed?

I already knew it was big.

....

The short cinematic ended and I kept on running. More and more bits of deliberate metalwork showed up, in archways, in fenceposts, in bridges. Gorons stood or walked here and there. I passed them. I could see the habitation drawing nearer in my HUD map. The name Goron City glowed across the screen. I could see the yellow dot indicating the one I was supposed to meet with. My fireproof timer was about to run out—

That big old stooped Goron was the one I needed to talk to—I ran into the town—Somehow reaching that point had become connected in my mind with the last crossing of this whole terrible bridge. Surely beyond that there would be some sort of fix, some sort of respite. Although.... there also might not be—I sprinted past rocky structures—What would I do when I had painted myself into a corner? What would I do when I had finished speaking with this elder Goron, and found myself in imminent danger of spontaneous combustion? Did I talk to the guy or—

WAIT.

Less than fifteen seconds.

My eyes darted to my HUD map. The building icons had populated.

Clothing shop, clothing shop.... There it was!

Less than ten seconds.

I ran inside, looked at the wares—600—700—2000 rupees—I had money.

Less than five seconds.

I bought them all and put them on—

And I was safe.

And I stood there as my timer ran out.

....

I looked like an old-timey scuba-diver.

....

. . . . . . .

Do you ever wonder if you’ve just made a big dumb purchase?

GUT CHECK

Waking of Saturday, July 8, 2017

GUT CHECK

On the Great Plateau, King Rhoam had advised me to go see Impa.

In Kakariko Village, Impa had advised me to go see Purah.

In Hateno Village, Purah had advised me to go see Robbie.

On the way to Robbie’s, people had whispered about Kilton.

Those were the breadcrumbs as I tasted them.

That was why I wanted to stick to Akkala for now.

And that was why when I left the Spring of Power I headed straight for the Skull Lake, which Kilton was said to haunt. I could see the shrine high at the top of one of its ridiculous islands, even at this distance.... Perhaps I’d snag that first; it looked like there was some higher ground I could climb to in order to paraglide in....

I started in a somewhat northward direction through a high valley full of beautiful aspens in fair colors, the highland cliffs of the coast on my right, and the foothills of the volcano on my left.

But I did not get very far before I was interrupted—by an erhu.

I swiveled madly around, searching.... Where, where? And finally looking straight up.... I saw it, high, high in the sky above my head:

A Red Dragon.

I snapped the distant creature’s pictograph, and my Compendium told me this was Dinraal, a spirit of fire taken the shape of a dragon. The rest of the entry was very much similar to Farosh’s. But, benign as he might be, I somehow didn’t think if I rode on this dragon’s back that his flames would be so . . . . forgiving.

I didn’t take but a few steps more before I was interrupted again—by a Lynel.

That’s what that moving shape in the distance was—and when its head jolted in my direction I quickly got behind a tree trunk!

A Blue-Maned Lynel.

Tougher than the Reds. Tougher than that one on Ploymus Mountain.

Dear me.

So I backtracked around and up into the high eastern hills, giving it a wide berth. But there was a Lynel up that way, too.

It was a trick to tread between them! But I fared well enough until I got high around the east or northeast part of the cliffs surrounding Skull Lake. It would be an easy paraglide to the shrine from here....

But I saw something further to the west. Another orange glow beside an immense pillar of rock.

But it was so faint and so distant.... Was it really a Shrine?

I considered: If I paraglided down to the Skull Lake Shrine, it would be a long climb back up here to investigate that other orange glow....

And so I put Skull Lake on hold and plunged on ahead, up into the dread forbidding foothills of Death Mountain.

The land was bald, the trees scorched and dead. Not even any Koroks gamboled around here. It was an awful place to wait out another Blood Moon....

I saw as I drew closer to that great rock spire that the glow did not come from a shrine, but from fire. Campfires, torchfires. Something else anyway. And soon I came upon some walkways crudely plated with metal sheets, and jagged fenceposts and an archway. This led onto a narrow part of a wide and many-chambered pool of water so crystal blue....

And bubbling, I saw with a closer look.

Some rocks sat half-submerged in the water just after the archway. For jumping across I imagined.

Would I boil alive if I fell in there?

How brave was I feeling about jumping over those rocks?

“Andrea,” David piped up as I hemmed and hawed.

“Yeah?”

“This is about Zelda.”

Huh. “....‘Kay?” I said.

He hesitated and then said, “The water won’t hurt you.”

Oh, I thought.

“It’s a hot spring,” said David.

OH! 8D “A hot spring?” I smiled, and walked right ahead and into it until I was treading water.

But I already had full hearts. And then some, thanks to Mipha when I’d run into that treehouse north of the Lynels. It had been full of bokoblins with bomb arrows, which I harvested, as they were firing in the rain.... but then the sun came out and they’d blown me up before I could kill them all.

Never could figure out how to get up onto that treehouse....

Anyway I’d heard hot springs could fill you up some hearts. <3

I got out of the water, and headed for that giant rock. There was a signpost. It read:

GUT CHECK ROCK

WAT. ò.Ò

A couple of Gorons were at the base of the rock pillar, one standing, the other flat on his back. I went to check on this one, a bit concerned for his wellbeing.... and it was—

“KABETTA?”

“So sweaty... brother...” he groaned.

Heehl was the Goron on his feet.

It was those same Gorons. Accompanied by that same drunken Skyloft Trombone no less.

They both recognized me as “that guy who backed out of the endurance challenge”.

But here was another challenge for me it seemed. I ascended to the top of the rock pillar via air current, and found Bayge at the top—and a Shrine after all!

Bayge also recognized me as that quitter from before. Dang it, Gorons!

I asked him to move so I could get in the Shrine, but he said first I had to pass the GUT CHECK CHALLENGE.

“THIS IS WHERE GORON BOYS BECOME GORON MEN, BROTHER!” and oh so many other manly encouragements he spouted. XD

Well, I wanted in that Shrine, so I did their challenge, climbed the pillar, got enough rupees, and made it to the top before the time ran out. I really wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it! But I gave it a try and lo! it worked. And they made me their sworn brother to boot! ^_^

And the Shrine was mine.

And I received Gorae Torr’s Blessing.

Cool.

I think there might also be a Korok hiding up on top of that pillar but I’m not sure.

But with how high I was, I had quite a view! And I could see Dinraal twining through the sky.... It seemed he came down to a lower altitude as he bent westward, around the north side of the volcano.

Mmmm perhaps I really should have gone back and just gotten the Skull Lake Shrine, but....

I followed the dragon.

Hylian Sauté

Waking of Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Hylian Sauté

I still didn’t know how to complete the Ishto Soh Shrine properly, but I reloaded and went through it in my own special way again just to extend the life of the bow I’d been using. It was harder that time....

When I’d beaten the shrine I went north along the Lynels’ Corridor, on the west side again. I scaled that little butte I had skirted around, hoping for a Korok or something on top. Unfortunately all there was was a Talus. But I’m getting quite good at taking them down. :)

After that I sailed down to the valley floor. Lynels or no, I was going to make it to the northern end of that corridor, and see what the big deal was.

There was a smattering of very tall baobab trees, some with Koroks in their branches, others with birds’ eggs. I climbed almost every one I came to, both on the lookout for secrets, and wanting to stay high. There were some shapes in the distance. Horselike shapes....

But they weren’t Lynels. As it turned out, they were just horses. And one of them was big.

I got closer. Man that was a BIG dang horse. It was all black except for its flaming red mane and tail.... it kind of reminded me of.... Ganondorf’s horse, actually....

I checked my pockets and found only one semi-decent stamina potion. Hm.

Well, I snuck up on the big horse and tried it without the potion, and he bucked me off straight away. And somehow I didn’t think just that one potion would have helped me stay on. I would have to come back here later....

Big dang horse.... must’ve been what David was so interested in....

The Lynels’ Corridor ran straight into the southern wall of the Great Plateau, and there were two ways I could go from this abrupt end: east, which would take me toward the Lake; or west.... which led into uncharted territory.

I went west.

It was near Digdogg Suspension Bridge, I could see on my map; that river had come right down around the west side of the Plateau. I climbed and looked down on the lands beyond the bridge. The mounted Bokoblins were there again.

I didn’t want to deal with them, but bypassed them over the hills until I came to the shrine I had detected here before: the Jee Noh Shrine. That was a fun time with lasers. Mom saw part of it and couldn’t understand how I could stand it!

I claimed the Spirit Orb and came out. And just a little more jogging brought me to a place I’d seen before.... I’d been around here before.... somewhere.... when I was searching for Mei.

There was a deep canyon, the same I had asked David about, wondering if there were water in the bottom of it. (There hadn’t been.) On the far side of the canyon was Giant Golden Tingle Statue Mountain, a prominent Sheikah Tower standing away in its upper reaches. A tantalizing array of boardwalks and ladders seemed to lead a fairly straightforward course up into those hills....

Mmmm but something made me stay on the near side of the canyon. I don’t know....

Ignoring a nearby Traveler, I started to climb. I followed the canyon, but I stayed on the east side, running into the night.

At one point a Talus grumbled up out of the earth but I didn’t want to bother with it. I kept going north. However it wasn’t long before some Stalmoblins popped up and really insisted that I stop.

I didn’t want to deal with them either, and so just started climbing the cliff to my right. But one of them shot me with an arrow and I fell. Fine then. I killed them all. Of course by that time the Talus had caught up with me, and so I ran back south again. The cliff was gentler there, and I climbed up to the upper shelf.

The Talus didn’t seem to want to go back to bed, so I ended up just bombing it to death. And after collecting its remains I continued on my way.

David turned up, and asked what I was up to.

I told him I’d killed a Talus.

“A Talus?” he said.

“Yeah, my second one today.”

“What?”

“Have you ever killed a Talus?”

He hadn’t.

Well that was just a little gratifying. :)

Ahead of me were three Gorons standing in a row, arms folded. Behind them was some kind of large platform....

“Where are you?” David laughed.

Which was even more gratifying. ^_^

The Gorons’ names were Bayge, Heehl, and Kabetta, and they were accompanied by what sounded like the half-drunken solo trombone cousin of the musical theme from Skyloft.

This was some kind of shrine-challenge, I gathered, and if I could pass some kind of heat-based endurance test, then the shrine would appear.

For the first round we all stepped onto the big platform. It was a round slab of what looked like metal, and its surface bore huge cracks that looked like they came from heat-damage and—worryingly—seemed to glow red.

If you passed out or left the ring, you lost. Last man standing won.

Fair enough.

I stepped up, we got on the platform and the timer started.

We all began to sway and pant.... Bayge was in the middle. He and Heehl had determined scowls on their faces, but Kabetta seemed like a softer fellow.

“Someone’s.... waving....” said Heehl.

What’s he talking about? I wondered.

My hearts began to tick away, like they had on the Lake Tower.

“It’s.... too.... much....” said Kabetta, and he keeled right over.

Ugh, it was so hot.

“Is that.... Grandpa....?” said Heehl, and then he went down.

It was just me and Bayge. He seemed the toughest of the lot.

“Piece of cake,” he grimaced.

Oh great, I thought.

But then Bayge fell over too!

I won! And only lost two hearts. Phewf!

But there was still another part to the challenge. There was another platform. This one was surrounded by enormous flaming bowls on raised stands, and it looked.... molten....

No, I realized, it was only waving like that because of the heat distortions....

Oh gads....

Well, as long as I was here, I thought I’d try it. I did have one fireproofing elixir I got from I don’t remember where—someone had given it to me—but, like I do, I didn’t want to waste it, and so went without.

I jumped up onto the platform and promptly began to smoke.

The cinematic ensued and Bayge asked if I were ready.

He counted down. The clock started.

I ran in hot circles, wooping like Curly.

The bow on my back burst into flames. Then some of my clothes burst into flames. Then more of my clothes burst into flames—my hearts began to burn away much faster—would this damage my very attire?

I jumped off.

Bayge called me out, and I clicked through the dialogue as fast as I could—I wanted to put out those fires! Stop, drop and roll, I thought, stop, drop and roll....

I got through the conversation and then with HORROR I realized.... there was no button to roll! I could jump but I could not roll! D8

So many times in so many Zelda games I had taken it for granted just to be able to roll!

But my clothes eventually stopped burning and I was able to simly unequip the bow.

And after that I just reloaded from the time before I got on the second platform—I didn’t want that damage to my equipment.

I checked the recipe for the fireproofing elixir—one Fireproof Lizard, and a Bokoblin Horn. Easy enough I guessed. But I had never encountered any Fireproof Lizards in my wanderings.

I didn’t use the elixir, but.... only continued on my way. I decided I would just have to come back here later.

But for now I wanted to climb higher and follow this range....