Deep Smit

Waking of Saturday, October 27, 2018 ~ 2

Deep Smit

I didn’t have the topo, but I could see the icon indicating Lurelin Village’s location. It was directly on the other side of a sizeable mountain from where I was.

Instead of following the winding beach all the way back, I decided to take a little climb, straight up and over....

From the beach and sea level, the mountain looked rather unremarkable, but as I climbed I discovered a good number of little dells and hidden hollows, and a heckton of Blue Nightshade flowers! Cool.

And at the tippy top was a Korok. Of course.

As long as I was at the crest I decided to spend a moment taking in the view. And looking down the tumbles of another side of the mountain, I could see.... Why that’s a heart-shaped pond! One single pond—not broken down the center like that one above Hateno Village. This heart was whole.

And there were people down there....

A Hylian man and a Gerudo stood on opposing shores of the little pond. Furtively staring at one another. I spoke to them both.

Wabbin was the man’s name. And he was in some seriously deep smit. That Gerudo across the way was gorgeous. But he couldn’t work up the nerve to just go over there and talk to her....

The Gerudo, Perda, on the other hand, was feeling a bit unsure. While she was indeed out seeking her true love, and this did seem to be a place of providence for the matter, she didn’t quite know what to make of the creeper who kept staring at her from across the way....

I played a lovely game of go-between. XD

Wabbin wanted to offer her a token of his feelings—a flower. Only he didn’t have any flowers. And he begged me to find him some Blue Nightshades.

Well! As it turned out I’d just run into a huge stash of those! Not that my pockets weren’t already full of them. I handed one over.

But Wabbin was too petrified to offer the gift himself. So he asked me if I would do it.

Heh, sure thing, buddy. X-)

I took the flower to Perda, and let her know how that guy over there was totally digging on her, and well.... that put her in deep smit, too.

A few more messaging runs back and forth, and the most adorable cutscene ensued, with Wabbin and Perda finally on the same side of the pond together, Perda still holding the flower! ^_^ Awww, that was cute. Don’t see items as props too often.

And as the sun rose on the high meadow with its pond in the seaside mountain.... I was the last one to fall into deep deep smit. Because I saw just how many Hearty Radishes there were growing around here! Sweet! 8D

Those things is good eatin’!

The Desert Colossi

Waking of Friday, September 21, 2018 ~ 2

The Desert Colossi

When I came out of the South Lomei Labyrinth, I skirted the hillsides all around once more for good measure, paraglided over the Champion’s Gate corridor, and headed north, continuing to comb the foothills between the highlands and the desert. More Koroks, more Violets.... and there were so many pillars to investigate.... surely there had to be a Korok on top of one of ‘em....

I stood sightseeing from the top of one of these pillars when.... PIANO. There was the Piano, and there was the laser, and a Guardian was after me, and I hopped off quick! Better to stay in motion—

I sailed wide as the bolts shot through the air, until I could reach the ground and have it out, and kill the thing.

When it was dead I looked up, saw how many pillars I had passed and left unsearched.... and decided to kiss that swath of land goodbye for the present—I was busy. Those Colossi were just ahead....

I continued north to the Land of the Goddesses—those gigantic statues so enormous they showed up on my topo—they must have been the legendary Seven Heroines....

I jogged over the sand to the break in their imposing circle.

The East Gerudo Ruins these were called.

Oh there had to be Koroks in here....

(And there were.)

It was one of the cleverer puzzles I had yet encountered, and it took a little bit of searching to riddle it out!

At each Heroine’s foot was a long extension of stone with a hollow at the end, near the center of the circle. A few metal orbs lay scattered about the area, each emblazoned with a mysterious symbol....

I found that one of the statues had a symbol corresponding to one of the orbs, carved into its foot. But most of the other statues didn’t even have any symbols.

But ah, they did, but theirs were carved into different places!

Inward from the outside, the Heroines bore symbols carved upon the Foot, the Breast, and the Hilt, while the central Heroine’s symbol was carved upon her Crown. And after an awful lot of climbing, I found out what each Heroine’s symbol was—clockwise from the break, I called them Yang, KOA, Donut, Twodots, Swipe, Flame, and Pause.

As it turned out there were seven of the corresponding metal orbs hidden all over the construct—some of them high up on the Heroine statues themselves! It was an ordeal and a half, full of a lot of Magnesing, to find them all and get them down to the sandy sink in the center. And I got quite good at scaling the large stone statues in the meanwhile, right up to the tops of their heads—Pardon me, Ladies.

!

I wonder if the Eighth Heroine has a symbol....

Oh now I must go check.

When I finally, finally aligned all the orbs in the ground-level hollows of their corresponding Heroines, WHAT SHOULD COME UP IN THE CENTER OF THE CONSTRUCT but.... the Korsh O’hu Shrine.

And it was a Blessing Shrine as well.

That was four Spirit Orbs.

Guessed it was time to pray again.

POCKY QUEST

Evening of Wednesday, September 19, 2018 ~ 2

POCKY QUEST

With my sand seal gone there was nothing for it but to continue to where Pokki was on foot. And so consulting my map I set my face toward the Misae Suma Shrine... and hoofed it.

There didn’t seem to be too much between us except for a very, very large sand dune, with three Voltfruit cacti growing at its crest.

I’d seen these all over the map. If not the exact species, then definitely the formation. Three plants growing in a perfectly straight line, the ones on the ends equidistant from the one in the middle. I’ve never yet been able to conjure any Koroks from these phenomena.... But I think I heard once.... do they point to shrines?

I looked at my map again. This set certainly did. The Misae Suma Shrine was just over the last rise of sand. As was Pokki. And Pocky....

I collected the fruit and pressed on.

Pokki said the same things as she slumped facedown over the pedestal. She was done for. This was the end. If only she could have tasted a Noble Pursuit....

Well I knew just where to find those.

I warped back to Gerudo Town, and spoke to Furosa, the barkeep at the canteen. When I asked about the Noble Pursuit, she dismissed me as she had many times before—“Not to a young vai like you,” she said.

“Actually...” I responded. That had been my only option. And when she heard what I had to say....

“Pokki’s collapsed?” Furosa perked up at once. She would happily make Pokki a Noble Pursuit. But there was just one problem.

Noble Pursuits required a great deal of ice.

And Furosa was fresh out.

Well I knew just where to find that, too!

We wanted it done fast, but as Furosa was getting on in years, and couldn’t really move like she used to, I offered to go get some from the Northern Ice House.

So this was the Ice House thing! Ah I love me a good fetchquest.

Furosa said I didn’t need to bring it all the way to town; just to the entrance of the ruins would be far enough. But she warned me—Anche, who manned the Ice House, went to bed early. I could only see her when it was light out.

And my, but the sun was fading fast. Dang it it was already evening....

I booked it as fast as I could to the Ice House, but it was no good—Anche was fast asleep.

Nuts.

I picked Swift Violets off the towering cliffs behind to pass the night.... And when the world began to warm I sailed back down to the Ice House and descended in through the trap door and stood and waited and stared at the sleeping woman like an impatiently hungry cat. Wake up, sleepyhead!

She finally did, at seven in the morning.

When I spoke to her, she said what she normally said, some variant of, “Hi I’m Anche and I man this place 24/7.”

Hah! You mean 12/7....

“Actually...” I said in what was once again my only available response. And I related the plight....

“Well if Furosa needs ice you’d better take it to her,” she said, “You are free to take some ice. You took the heat into account, right? If you move too slowly, the ice will melt.”

And it hit me like a ton of pounds why I could only speak to Anche in the daylight hours. Nintendo, you sneaky....

Well, I had Sand Boots, the Heat Spaulder, and my Lizalfos Mask. I could handle this just fine....

The screen blacked out and in again, and I stood holding a huge block of ice over my head.

And it was GO TIME.

I strode out toward the ruins—I couldn’t move very fast under the weight of this block.... But I had no worries about the Lizalfos. They only chirruped in surprise at my appearance and attempted to make friendly conversation.

BUT FUROSA SAID NOTHING ABOUT BOKOBLINS; WHERE DID THESE GUYS COME FROM? I knew it wouldn’t be that simple....

I waddled right by one mean-looking one with a huge club. Just keep moving.... WHOOSH—his strokes would swing and miss! It was a good thing they took their time winding up, and didn’t lead their targets or try to head me. If they’d been Octoroks I would have been in trouble....

And all the while whenever the sun hit my ice block, it started to hiss.

I tried to keep to the shade as much as I could—Iceway Pillars indeed—but it was a little tricky with so many beasties clouding my way....

I moved along the columns of shadow, reminding myself irresistibly of Glim the Candle, until I had gained the more shaded westerly side of the ruins.

I could not move fast enough to shake these Bokoblins! I could only hope that they would lose interest, but would that really happen at this speed?

I could hear them behind me still mucking on in pursuit.... No did they lose interest....? Or did they only lose momentary SIGHT of me? I tried to hurry—WHERE WAS FUROSA?

I stayed on the western periphery—and then I saw her, she was up on the last platform—which I couldn’t reach because the steps were too tall and I couldn’t climb anything while carrying this gigantic block of ice over my head!

Well I couldn’t go back and try to get up!

Huagh! I hoofed it around the horn to the east side, avoiding the bad guys—the ice steamed and hissed further—until I found a step low enough for me to climb, and I huffed and trudged and finally clomped to a halt in the shade before the old Gerudo.

“Huh? You’re... Well, whatever. I don’t care who you are as long as I get my ice.”

Oh yeah, I remembered. I guess she’d never seen me as a voe. Bare-chested and all that.

“With this I can make the ultimate Noble Pursuit,” she said, and asked if I could go tell Pokki. Pokki was her best customer, she said. “Knowing her, she’ll come running when she hears there’s a wonderful drink with her name on it.”

And the screen faded out and back in, and Furosa had gone with her ice.

A sand seal was in order.

I caught one and struck out toward the east. And being one who has walked through the desert, I recognized the very dune I needed to reach almost straight away.... Honestly it was hard to miss.

Pokki bemoaned herself again. “This is it. This is the end...”

“Actually...” I said.

LOL that’s all I ever say in this quest. XD

And I told her.

Pokki perked up. “What? Ultimate Noble Pursuit?”

Well that seemed to put some life into her.

“I am so gone!” she said, or something like it, and she was outta there.

Running.

The screen slow-blinked one last time, and I was alone.

....

Go get it, Pokki.

....

You’re such a PANSY.

....

But I troubled myself about her no more. For NOW.... it was time for my prize....

Out came the Pocky, and the cocoa smell from the newly-opened package wafted against my nostrils like a draft from a warm oven. And with the delightful soft crunch of chocolate-covered biscuit sticks between my teeth, I entered the Misae Suma Shrine, claimed the monk’s blessing.... and saved. ♡

The Missing Moldugas

Evening of Wednesday, September 19, 2018

The Missing Moldugas

I opened my map and made ready to warp to the Misae Suma Shrine.... but I couldn’t.

Then I remembered. Pokki had been collapsed all over the pedestal. I hadn’t been able to activate the warp pad.

I’d have to get back there on my own power for now.

The shrine still showed up on my map, just yellow instead of blue. I guessed that was what visited but unactivated shrines looked like.

Well, Tera’s shrine seemed to be the next most convenient—not Tera’s, Hawa Koth! That was its name. I warped there, cleaned out all the Safflina, caught a sand seal and started out east.

Every great fairy I’d visited seemed to host a native abundance of.... something. For Cotera it was Blue Nightshade flowers and, very occasionally, fairies. Mija had.... I want to say some kind of root, like carrots. Kaysa.... I don’t remember what Kaysa had; her environ was so dry.... Even Malanya the Horse God had an abundance of butterflies of every kind. And Tera had safflina plants, in many varieties. Good ingredients for whipping up any number of different elixirs.

But I think the Silent Princess flower grew at every fairy fountain.

Now, augh, for SOME reason I forgot to jot this down in my original notes, but.... I think this might have been where it happened.... A likely time and place, anyway....

I couldn’t exactly beeline from the Hawa Koth Shrine at Tera’s to the Misae Suma Shrine where Pokki was stranded.... without passing straight through the Southern Oasis.

I think that this might have been when I decided to do just that.

Fye! Shoddy note-taking....

And I had killed the Arbiter’s Ground Molduga around the same time as well.

FYE!

I sand-sealed toward the great rock until I caught the music on the air, at which point I let the beast go and bade it Godspeed.

Taking my time, I softly circumnavigated the Molduga’s course, limiting my movements when it was near; this one ran a smaller circuit than that very first one I had encountered. In fact, that first one had run the largest circuit of any I had seen thus far. It certainly made each new encounter less daunting at any rate.

One by one I drew out the loitering Lizalfos to put them down before dealing with the main threat. And then.... I attracted the monster’s attention.

Just like at the Arbiter’s Ground, now, I could do this....

I was still short on Bomb Arrows. But.... Well, frankly I had been just a little bit inspired by a certain video I’d seen of someone leading a Guardian Stalker out into the desert to duke it out with a Molduga. That person had been all right handling the Molduga on the ground....

I could do it too.... I’d already done it!

I still tried to keep some distance from it, though, drawing it out of the sand with normal arrows or bombs. And when I’d stunned it, I moved in right up against its great blubbery bulk, and it was melee all the way—which turned out to be faster work than it had been with arrows....

When the Molduga recovered it would thrash and twist round in a huge circle, flicking me high into the air with its huge tail, before burrowing back down into the sand. It sent me cartwheeling head over heels and took some hearts off, but.... it was a licking I could take for the present. My paraglider always caught me.

It only really became complicated when the two of us, ringing round the oasis, chanced upon a Lizalfos I had missed.

It’s.... tricky, to beat back an harrassing Lizalfos when the ground beneath you both is heaving uncontrollably, and could explode at any moment.

But it would be a lie to say it didn’t feel epic.

Turning from my main target I put the Lialfos down in a fury to give me some peace!

Well, relative peace.

But after that it was just a few more meaty exchanges on the ground before the mighty Molduga keeled over and gave up the ghost.

I’d beaten it on the ground. In the sand. In its own element.

At last I could explore this Southern Oasis! Perhaps the top held some kind of shrine-puzzle? I climbed up in the light of the falling sun, checking for Koroks everywhere....

The top was fairly level, with a little oblong depression in the middle where water sprang. A few fruit-bearing palm trees stood about, and there were a few more useful plants.... There were also a few boxes, and an unlit wok. Who had been here before?

After looting a treasure chest I found buried in the dirt, I couldn’t find anything else to do, except.... just enjoy the quiet up here.

Surely there had to be a SHRINE or something? The place was too far out of the way!

But I only walked around, cooked a few meals, explored the placid top of the rock, and enjoyed the quiet.

Until the Blood Moon rose that very night and spawned another Molduga, along with that confounded cello ensemble which I liked VERY MUCH, but which had QUITE overstayed its welcome at this point.

I chucked Bombs at the brute until it was mostly dead, whereupon I sailed down and finally put it out of my misery.

Of course the Lizalfos were always up for another round of sword-tag....

No rest for the weary....

I wondered if I’d missed an opportunity before that Blood Moon. I wondered what might happen at the Southern Oasis.... if I first dispatched all the Moldugas....

I was definitely going to come back here later.

Only those who have walked through the desert

Evening of Monday, September 10, 2018

Only those who have walked through the desert

I warped to the Gerudo Great Skeleton in the corner, ran into the farthest storm, and started walkin’ east. Time to continue my circumnavigation of the map.

It was about noon when I started, and I walked for a long, long way.

But the Lizalfos kept me company.

I was getting better at wardrobe changes in the desert, and so was ready with my Ruby Circlet when night fell. But when the Electric Keese started to come out—where do they roost anyway?—I opted instead for a Warm Doublet and.... the Thunder Helm. It was SO NICE to fight them with the Thunder Helm on! No shocking! Even with metal weapons! 8D

Ahh, never again would I need face their incapacitating overreach in the rain.

I kept running, bumping into the southern boundary with my right shoulder time and again. Occasionally I would venture a few steps to the north if I saw some Hydromelons or a Voltfruit cactus.... and then it was back into the blur, the grit flying in an endless storm.

The desert was vast.

Once I inadvertently stepped into.... a laughing tambourine? And the cellos started up and taunted me to come out, and the name Arbiter’s Ground Molduga appeared at the top of my screen, along with a life-meter.

Arbiter’s Ground?

How interesting....

It was another name from another game. Another reference. Like Spectacle Rock. Or the more obvious Death Mountain—that one’s in a lot of games. But those were geologic features, and not so fleeting as any man-made structures.

Like the Arbiter’s Ground....

I am very fond of Twilight Princess. I was curious to investigate any reference to it, but.... No, I would come back to it later. I was busy combing the nether edges of my map.... in search of.... I was there because....

Well I just wanted to do it.

Soon after I stepped out of the Molduga’s song, however, a new sound came to my ears—the brreep-brreeping of my shrine-detector. And that did warrant a detour!

I turned north, and came out of the swirling limbo and into a brilliant, bright white world of glaring sky. I’d been in the murk so long; the difference was jarring.

Away in the dunes to the north I could see a single, large, solitary rock. One guess where the shrine was.

I followed the signal nonetheless, and was unsurprised when it took me straight toward the formation. I wondered if this was the shrine I had heard when the Chief and I had been sand-sealing after Vah Naboris.... I thought I’d even caught a glimpse of it then....

I climbed up on top of the rock and swept for Koroks before I found the familiar orange glow on the far side. The Misae Suma Shrine. But when I floated down.... I found there was a Gerudo collapsed against the activation pedestal.

What the....? Was that Barta? But this one wore green.... I didn’t remember Barta wearing that color....

It was....

Pokki!

I’d been looking everywhere for her!

She was exhausted under the hot sun, and she croaked that if this were the end.... then before she went, she just wanted a taste, just a sip.... of a NOBLE PURSUIT.

This gave me something of a dilemma.

See, Pokki’s name always made me think of Pocky. I do enjoy Pocky. And somebody must’ve let it slip to my Mom because she’d given me a large box of it for my birthday. And now I was down to the very last packet. And I’d been saving that packet.... for whenever I happened to find the missing Pokki.

And I’d just found her.

But it was late. It was nearly bedtime. I didn’t want to go to bed with a whole packet of Pocky just sitting in my gut like a stone all night.

So....

I left her there. Still begging for a Noble Pursuit in all her heat-stroke delirium. Very unlike me....

And I ran back down into the farthest storm and continued eastward.

I would save the Pocky for the time when I rescued her instead.

Soon, Pokki.... Soon....

I kept going east until I came to a sheer cliff face—the drop-off at the west end of the Devil’s Own Highway. I attempted to climb it, but.... it was too tall and I didn’t have the stamina.

I could no longer circumnavigate the map from here.

....

But.... that had never really been my immediate intention....

For now.... I decided to suffice myself with the desert. For there was plenty I had not seen of its deeper interior.

And so I bent my course to the north. I didn’t venture into the mountains but stayed down on the sand, skirting curious and tempting features on my map like that large, straight-edged rectangular structure, and of course those monumental statues of the Seven Heroines, whose grandeur I had thus far only witnessed in the topo.

However I was already fairly well acquainted with the desert’s northern edge, and its forests of stone pillars. And so halfway to it, I left the anchoring foothills, and plunged back westward into the trackless ocean of grit.

I passed through strange, flat scapes of small, isolated stonework ruins, the lot of them jutting from the sand like a pox. I found the sandy dell where my sand seal and I had won the race, and for kicks I rolled Bombs down into the Lizalfos camp. And I scaled every surprising island rock I found breaching the sand for air. The Koroks did not come out easily.

Every so often I gazed into the south at the enormous, palm-capped rock that had to be the Southern Oasis. I’d been giving it a wide berth; there was a Molduga down there, and I was short on Bomb Arrows. Soon.

After a very long time, mostly via the sand seal track at the end, I managed to walk all the way back to the lookout tower, and thence back to Gerudo Town.

I had walked through the desert.

And it was vast.

But does vastness retain its vastness once it is known?

Hm.

At any rate I felt undaunted enough to continue westward further still! I did make a stop at my favorite specialty arrow stall first, but.... Bomb Arrows were so expensive. And I was still short on cash. I couldn’t go Molduga hunting just now.

Unfazed, I continued nonetheless into the desert’s northwestern regions, with which I was not quite so familiar. There were many giant bones, and a lot more rock. Great place for an ambush, I thought in Scott McNeil’s voice.

I made it all the way up to that shrine beneath the ribcage, and this time, with my stronger clothes, I was able to climb up on top of the spine! And as I’d suspected there was a Korok.

The Koroks weren’t so shy out in the west. In fact they were fairly obvious, one of them perched at the top of a ribcage angled so high out of the ground that it could be seen for miles all around. There were also absolute treasure troves of Swift Violets to collect! Albeit along rock formations crawling with Lizalfos. But that didn’t pose too much of a hassle.

When I had ventured to the edge, and had my absolute fill of climbing around in the western sand storm, picking violets from high walls, turning over treasure chests, scaring up the odd Korok, and fending off Electric Lizalfos.... I hoofed it back to the ribcage shrine, captured a sand seal, and sailed back to Tera’s spring.

With all the Swift Violets I had collected, I was able to have her do up my Sand Boots another level, which was a welcome enhancement in this environment. However this also required me to part with four of my five precious remaining Molduga guts. I’d need to go hunting again soon.

That Molduga at the Southern Oasis....

All in good time.

I’ll get you later!

I warped back to the woods, settled Link down in Pepp’s bed at a decent evening hour for once.... and went to bed myself.

All The World's a Pawn Shop

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 6

All The World’s a Pawn Shop

Rupees. I needed rupees.

My first stop was Trott at the Outskirt Stable; he was always willing to pay a hundred rupees for a hunk of gourmet meat! But.... he would only do it thrice a day. But that was three hundred rupees more than I had. That put me just over a thousand.... Only nine thousand to go....

....

At least it wasn’t over nine thousand.

Next was Goron City. I knew there was a Gerudo wandering around there who would pay top-rupee for certain ores.... and I found her—Yamella, no, Ramella, that was her name.

But she wanted my Sapphires—and ten at a time at that! I couldn’t split with ten of those! What if I needed them for something else? What if a Great Fairy could do something with them?

I couldn’t cut a deal with Ramella.

So I went to the Goron City General Store, and had a visit with Tanko. I skimmed my supplies to him bit by bit BY BIT until I had 8,039 rupees in my wallet.

But there was a lot that I just wasn’t willing to part with. Like gemstone ores, though I spared as many Ambers and Opals as I would. But Rubies, Sapphires and Diamonds? Those were just too hard to come by.

8,039.... That was pretty close....

But.... I was getting tired....

I needed to be going to bed for real....

Sand Seal Rally!

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 8

Sand Seal Rally!

I continued talking with everyone I could around Gerudo Town, looking for more days to save, until I came to one gateway guard who mentioned the Sand Seal Races. She told me where they normally took place, and said that, now that the Divine Beast was gone, they could race again.

Oh could they now?

I ran out in the indicated direction, just to a little hill in the sand with some palm trees. I could see no discernible racing track, but near an ancient Sheikah dais I found two Gerudo vai just kind of standing around.

One of them had shaded goggles over her eyes, and the reddest fro I had ever seen.

This was the legendary sand seal racer Tali, and beside her was her elderly trainer, Shabonne.

When I spoke to them it was Shabonne who answered—she blew and blustered on about how sand seal racing was a fast-paced, hardcore sport, and how difficult it was, and that a little vai like me couldn’t really hope to be any good at it, especially against somebody like Tali, who was their most celebrated racing champion, and who held all the records, and who was generally the best of the best and why the heck didn’t I just fall down and start worshipping her right now. Dang.

Tali just said, “...”

XD

But I pressed, and for twenty rupees there was an option to race! I wondered how it would go.... Would there be multiple other racers? Would it be just me and Tali? Would we have to jockey for position?

But it turned out that I alone had only to race against Tali’s winning time.

Well that wouldn’t be so bad. :)

A minute and a half to beat....

But where was the course? Would it be marked? How would I know which way to go?

Perhaps it wasn’t quite like me, to go rushing into something so fast, but before I knew it the screen faded out and I had set the sequence in motion: I stood poised on my shield behind a tame sand seal, all hitched up and ready to go. The timer was counting down—

Ah, I could see it now.... Those were gates!

In front of me, two tall posts were bowed toward each other, tied at the top with ropes and flags to make a shape like a Gothic arch. Similar sets of posts marched off into the dunes in the distance and beyond obstacles....

I could do this! :D

And the timer wound down and I was off.

I don’t remember what distracted me from making my seal dash right off the start.... Maybe just the novelty of the experience. Through the gate, darting ahead between a mess of rocks, down through a narrow little sink where the boulders rolled around—and the music! What a happy, flutey little jig was the music! ^_^ Made all the more charmingly amusing by the fact that as my sand seal put out bursts of speed it seemed to snorfle along right in time to the beat. XD

There was a cool stretch that curved right underneath a giant ribcage that bent round a large rock—and then it was straight through a Lizalfos camp? What the heck??— But there was the next gate just beyond the three skull-dens—I urged my sand seal onward....!

And I burst through a drop with my sand seal leaping through the air like a salmon and the finish line sounded and I had completed the race in a minute and seventeen seconds! I beat the record! ^_^

The sequence brought me right back to the little sand hill, where several Gerudo had turned out to watch me race. Tali finally spoke up and offered me a gracious congratulations, and the crowd all cheered as I was awarded the trophy they had handed down through the years—a Sheikah orb.

Well I knew just where to put that!

I set it down in the glowing orange dais and the Raqa Zunzo Shrine rumbled up out of the earth.

Cool.

Once I had collected the Spirit Orb, I spoke to Shabonne once again.

She was pretty wound up that I had beaten her champion. And she challenged me to another go, this time with a little wager.... If I could beat the time I had just set, she would give me three hundred rupees.

But I had to put up a hundred rupees of my own to start.

Well, considering my sloppy start the previous time....

It was a deal.

And I did the race in a minute sixteen this time! The extra rupees were most welcome—I had been a little low on cash.

Shabonne conceded that I had some skill, then. And Tali opened up a bit as well. She spoke about the trophy, and told me that, though it had been awarded to her before, she was never really sure she would be the one to awaken the shrine I think that’s what she said or something like it.

Had each winner been attempting to summon the shrine?

But there was something about me, she said, that she felt was different. When she looked at me. And I had been the one to awaken the shrine.

Wait just how Chosen was I, if the Sheikah relics were reacting only to me?

That was something new to think about....

I went back to town and visited the guards again.

Barta was still down in Dragon’s Exile.

Did I want to do that tonight? It’d been a long day....

And then one of them shared with me the rumor that THERE WAS A FAIRY AT THE LEVIATHAN SKELETON SOUTHWEST OF TOWN.

OH for—

. . . .

No, this day was too long.

I went to just stay at the inn. Romah’s inn. The Hotel Oasis.

Standard, please, I said, not the spa plan—and handed over twenty rupees.

Besides if they spa me they might find out I’m a man.

It was 4:05 in the morning, game time, and I’d seen two Blood Moons in this town, consecutively.

I asked the innkeep to wake me at noon.

“Sav’orr” she bade me as I went to bed.

Good night.

Friendly Neighborhood Hylian

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 7

Friendly Neighborhood Hylian

I came back down just outside Gerudo Town.

They could all rest easy now that the Hero had subdued the imminent danger stomping around out in the desert.

But they still wouldn’t let a voe come into town.

....Eh. I had wondered.

I changed clothes right in front of them and jogged through the gate.

Actually all the townsfolk kept talking about how Chief Riju had been the one to put the danger down.... which.... I guess I was okay with. She had been right out there with me, surfing behind Patricia. Right under the Divine Beast’s feet. And I had been in disguise after all. Just some lowly common Hylian vai, assisting the Chief....

I had just imagined some moment when I would be recognized and accepted and able to walk around freely in this place.... No exception even for the Hero of Legend....?

Nope.

Still no boys allowed.

Ah well.

Chief Riju was waiting for me in her throne room. She gave an outpouring of gratitude at my appearance—her people were happy again, and relieved. Stress had been reduced all through the town—“Stress”. Lol, women. XD

As thanks for my help in calming Vah Naboris and saving her people, she offered me the Scimitar of the Seven, along with the Daybreaker, the sword and shield wielded by the Champion Urbosa herself. Riju could think of no more appropriate use for them than to be wielded by the Hero of Hyrule against the Calamity that had claimed their original owner.

Unfortunately there was no room for them in my inventory.

There was something else in the room, however, which rather caught my eye....

Mounted handsomely on a pedestal a little to Riju’s right was the Thunder Helm.

When I examined it, and Riju reacted, there was only one unbecomingly brazen option I was given to say: “I want the Thunder Helm.”

Both Riju and Buliara voiced a polite but firm opposition to this—well, maybe not so polite on Buliara’s account. The helm was an heirloom of the Gerudo; it belonged here.

But.... considering all that I had done for them.... and all that I had yet to do, for all of Hyrule....

Riju agreed to lend me the Thunder Helm. If.... I could continue to live up to the title of Hero, and resolve all the town’s ills. The Divine Beast was no longer a threat, but that didn’t make life automatically perfect. If I could solve the whole town’s problems, and bring the smiles back to her people.... then and only then would Chief Riju lend me the Thunder Helm.

Well....

Hero work was what I did best.

I left the palace and heard from the garrison that Barta.... was in trouble again.

But I had seen her! She had escaped from the Yiga Nest since I had last been there, and I had seen her here in the barracks! Getting raked by her superiors....

But now.... her fellow warriors told me she was in Dragon’s Exile. Home of Moldugas. Mmmm but I was more confident against Moldugas.... but.... Well I had gathered she was kind of reckless, but.... what in the world was she doing down there? Part of me could only wonder, and part of me was.... hungrily delighted at an excuse to venture down to investigate the Great Skeleton....

Wandering further around Gerudo Town I drifted into the canteen, but could still find no clues about the password, and so threw the barrel at the ladies again.

What other ills were there around town for me to solve....? I was quite out of ideas, but at length I did find one little vai to rescue: a child named Dalia.

Dalia wanted to plant an orchard in an unused, obscure corner of town. But so much litter kept flowing down the aqueducts into the water trough....

!! D8<

“CalybaaAAANN!” I huffed as I turned to crawl up the wall.

I found her, and I told her what her face-stuffing rind-waste was doing to poor little Dalia’s orchard plans—the kid had been crying....

Upon hearing of the child’s plight, Calyban agreed to quit chucking her rinds down the stream—but she wouldn’t do it for free. She wasn’t that kind of person. She enjoyed her Hydromelons for sure, but what she really wanted to taste were Wildberries. The kind that grew high up on the freezing cold steps of the Gerudo Highlands. If I could bring her some of those—like ten—then she would quit from her little rind-chucking hidey-hole.

Fortunately I just happened to have enough Wildberries in my pockets; I gave her some.

“Oh! Oh they’re so delicious!” Calyban remarked, or something like it. So juicy and flavorful, sweeter than anything she’d ever tasted.

Evidently it put her in a very good mood, for she then decided that, in addition to stopping her littering, she would even go help little Dalia clean up!

Well that was just dandy. ^_^

The screen faded out and back in, and I was alone on top of the wall.

Time to check up on Dalia!

I followed the course of the aqueduct back the way I had come—there were so many paths.... But I found the one path I was looking for, and dropped down into Dalia’s little shaded corner.

I have to admit, it looked much nicer than when I had left it!

And Dalia was smiling again—she was so happy that her ground was now properly prepared. And she was delighted to relate to me that a vai she’d never met had come and helped her clean it up! And given her some Wilberries to boot!

For my help, Dalia gave me a Hydromelon she had gotten from the other vai as well. Aww.... ^_^

And then.... she said I could come get Wildberries from her little orchard whenever I wanted! 8D

And I did, later, when her bushes were planted and growing—three bushes of two berries each. I plucked the bush on the right clean, but.... I left the rest for Dalia.

It was her orchard, after all.

Urbosa's Fury

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 6

Urbosa’s Fury

The quiet was exquisite.

It was broken by footsteps.

The spirit of Urbosa walked down the steps of an inner strut, coming toward me as if from that same exterior deck where we had met one hundred years ago.

I liked her. How straightforward she was. How sensible and matter-of-fact.

How could a spirit like hers ever be confined or burdened down....?

Unless.... as indicated by his many physiques.... Calamity Ganon really had....

. . . .

Done to them what he did to the Guardians.

“This is just the way things had to happen, and no one is to blame,” Urbosa said, “Tell the Princess not to worry.”

Gosh I liked her. She was so strong. So sure. Straightforward.

And when she assured me that Vah Naboris was once again under proper control—when she said Vah Naboris, she flipped her R.

There was something.... awesome, about that. It didn’t feel out of place. Especially considering the different words the Gerudo used for things anyway. Very possibly a whole other language they spoke only among themselves.

The accent was striking. Charming. And her switching to and from it so easily intimated a special kind of intelligence.

I had never thought to be picking favorites among the Champions. And certainly not someone so mundane as a Gerudo. Really, what was so sensational about overly tall women who were basically the same as myself, just with rounder ears and a longer nose? And a few heads more in height?

They couldn’t spear through the waters or fly through the skies or punch through rocks and walk through hot lava unscathed.

They weren’t cool.

. . . .

But Urbosa was.

Gosh I liked her.

Mm, but I could never see myself picking favorites....

. . . .

She imparted a few more words to me before bestowing upon me a gift she said I would have use for—Urbosa’s Fury.

This was different as well. The Champions always parted their blessings to me with great will and flair. And so Urbosa did just now. But this time, as the sphere of empowering light connected with my chest . . . . I only regarded it with a solid expression—maybe gave one meaningful blink through a deep nasal inhale. I was not thrust into a closed-eyed, overpowering serenity. My feet did not leave the ground. Urbosa had demonstrated the motion, and now, I only mirrored it right back—

In a swirling rush forward, stepping strong four-to-fives, I threw out one hand and snapped my fingers and—

WHAT THE LIGHTNING??? WITH A SNAP OF MY OWN FINGERS WHAT?????

It came down in a cacophany all around me, multiple strikes like an aura of DEATH in a dangerous radius from my person!

OH MY GOSH!!! 8D

I just had to hold down my melee-strike button as if for a spin-attack—a mad Kaitengiri with THOSE FOUR-TO-FIVES and—Krak-ka-BOOOOMMmm—

Oh my gosh, this was too awesome.... X-)

Mipha and Daruk had been there to get me out of trouble but this....

This was for aimin’ to misbehave.

And after only a few more words spoken, it was time for me to leave the Divine Beast, and I teleported away in the same shimmering white light like gleaming snowflakes floating up into the sky....

And Urbosa led Vah Naboris TO....

Spectacle Rock I CALLED IT.

“Nabooru, legend of the Gerudo and revered for generations, for whom you were named, Vah Naboris...” Urbosa went on in some such words as she led the Divine Beast.

She was proud of her people, and rightly so—they were strong, and descended from powerful heroines.

But Urbosa had a vendetta.

Beneath her cool collectedness you could feel it. Something seething just beneath the surface.... something you didn’t wanna mess with.... something you didn’t wanna touch.

“It is said that Calamity Ganon once adopted the form of a Gerudo.” Her eyes hardened. “I relish the chance to make this personal.”

Again hinting that to be something she didn’t normally do.... The indignation felt righteous, and appropriately waited for.... Gosh I liked her....

“I’ve been waiting so long for the time when Link would finally rush Hyrule Castle.... and for the time I could blast Calamity Ganon to ashes....”

Vah Naboris’ six-eyed face locked on to the distant castle; part of it opened up and two rods extended to emanate the giant, focusing red beam, which shot out and blazed against the writhing, swirling Calamity....

“That moment,” Urbosa savored the thought as she stood atop the Divine Beast in the red, red sun, “will be so delicious.”

The Bravest

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 3

The Bravest

I was still dressed as a vai when I pulled up to the island of rock in the desert sands—the Eastern Lookout Post. I wanted to look around a bit myself first, and found a Gerudo named Sudrey inside. Guess she was there to man the place.

She said she hadn’t expected the Chief would call for the help of someone so.... short.... as I was.

Ouch. XD

Maybe it was this affront to my physique that reminded me to change into something a bit stronger—I ditched the girl clothes, and decked myself out for maximum strength.

Outside the outpost was a ladder up to a high platform. I found Riju up there and spoke to her as the late sun cast everything into red fire.

“So that’s what you really look like,” she said upon seeing me. And I don’t know why it should have, but it took me by surprise—she had only seen me as a vai before then after all!

Riju set to explaining her plan, and I wondered.... Would it be hard and fast with speed on our side, like with Prince Sidon? An approach on foot from a safe distance, and a volley of heavy ranged attacks, like with Yunobo?

What would Riju’s plan be?

Vah Naboris drew energy from the earth through its feet, she explained. If we could disrupt that process, we could subdue it. We would go out by sand seal, Riju wearing the Thunder Helm to protect herself and anyone near her, and I employing Bomb Arrows—Riju supplied these as well, twenty of them—and they would be for Vah Naboris’ feet.

The Divine Beast would rain lightning down on us once we drew near. But if I could stay close enough to Riju I would be safe. However, if at any point I felt it would be better to retreat and regroup, Riju told me not to hesitate to say so.

....So that was it then. Just....

Up close and personal.

We readied our sand seals back down on the ground; I was afforded one of the redder, tamer, faster ones to use. But before we got going, Riju asked me to back up a bit first.

She was wearing the Thunder Helm (which was a little big, she had conceded). But she wore it confidently now and offered aloud an unashamed prayer to her ancestors and the great Champion Urbosa. She called on their aid in her time of need—her people’s time of need—and asked for their protection in the dangerous endeavor we were about to undertake....

And a crackling, shimmering field emanated from the Thunder Helm—pale, energetic yellow—a wide, protective bubble.

And then....

We started.

“Stay close,” Riju had told me, and I tried to now. Our sand seals plunged ahead through ancient ruins and between tottering towers of stone—easy enough to dodge. But it was more difficult to stay inside the Thunder Helm’s protective circle. The conflicted weavings of our passage aside, it seemed that Patricia was slightly faster than my own sand seal....

And then we entered the dust cloud.

Arizona Fog I would have called it.

The horizon vanished, distance disappeared, and we were inside the night.

I could only stay close to Riju; at least she seemed to know where she was going.

What were we doing? We couldn’t see anything, the world had closed around us, we were shooting off into the oblivious blank of an ocean of tiny grit, all the while nearing a Divine Beast that was FREE ROAMING where it would—

Brreep-brreep! Brreep-brreep!

I shut off my shrine detector.

The boundaries of the universe only swirled darkly around us in an impenetrable sphere.

What were we doing?

Chief Riju stopped by the ruin of an ancient stone wall, and I followed suit. The dust thinned a bit and we could see Vah Naboris tromping gigantic through the gloom.

So big....

We started our run—it was so difficult to make my seal keep pace with Patricia—too far forward, too far back—A chill burst over the screen in a cloud of cold and I switched to my Ruby Circlet—blasted desert climate—The Divine Beast walked, left legs, right legs, left legs, right legs, paying such little regard to two insects like us—but as we pursued after its massive, slow meandering with all our tiny and furious might, we could feel its attack charging and incoming—a powerful, precise reticle centering on my position—my position—come on, seal—and still the Divine Beast walked and we two tiny worms dared to charge closer—

Kra-KKAAOOWwww! Lightning shattered down—but at that very moment I was safe inside the Chief’s protective aura. Nothing happened. We were untouched. Invulnerable.

Excellent.

But it wasn’t always so easy.

I was pulling backward and forward of Chief Riju’s position as if connected to her by a yo-yo. Vah Naboris tromped ahead so slowly, so deliberately—so hugely—I couldn’t keep up unless I made a dash for it with my seal, but Riju held Patricia in reserve—The Divine Beast was gaining—

And the lightning loomed again and I had to fall back—and I didn’t always make it.

Kra-KKAAOOWwww!

My hearts vanished by more than half. Gone. In a flash.

Lost my sand seal—it popped up out of the sand a little way ahead and stood still, waiting.

Riju wheeled round and came back to me—the protective field was there.

“Link! Do you want to fall back for now?” Or some such words she said.

But I never gave up.

My stocks were plentiul; a few well-prepared dishes saw me strong and on my feet again—and then it was the rush of reality back in my face as I dashed beyond the Thunder Helm’s protection to reclaim my sand seal once more.

Riju and I charged closer, and closer.... and I fired Bomb Arrow after Bomb Arrow—but I was a poor judge of distance and my shots always came up short—the monumentality of this thing—how far did I have to dash toward it before it stopped growing in my view?

But some of my shots connected—in the rushing, tumbling push-and-pull between me and Riju, I let fly my explosives and two of Vah Naboris’ house-sized feet went dark—please tell me they wouldn’t regenerate if I delayed....

And lightning reduced me to a sizzling heap again.

How many times did it strike me down like that?

“Do you want to fall back for now?”

No.

This Divine Beast....

This Chief....

What were we doing?

We two humans—well one human, one Gerudo—but she was short enough—but technically I was a Hylian—

WE TWO tiny things.

We were using what was at our disposal.

The Chief was using what was at her disposal. And what was at her disposal were sand seals and nerve.

She felt like that shot from the old Xena opening sequence, standing unafraid on the rocky shore and crying defiance at the rising Poseidon, the Force that could crush her in a heartbeat....

We two tiny things.

She was surely the bravest child I had ever met.

Vah Naboris was far away now, but I came back to my sand seal, and we surfed through the dark sand once more, in pursuit.

I stayed close to Riju and waited this time for lightning to strike.... and only after it did, and immediately at that, did I shoot my sand seal forward, stopping for nothing and spurring it onward until I was at the monster’s very feet—not house-sized—HILL-sized—They pounded into the earth all around me, the sand exploded, one step equalled death, and they moved—so far and fast they moved at one stride from the beast—but my arrows caught them—

Kra-KKAAOOWWwww!

Riju circled to my position and kept me safe until I could regain my feet....

The strategy was sound.... but.... and I had the meals to spare.

One more run waiting for the Divine Beast’s attack to deplete itself of energy, and another mad dash forward.... another brush with ten thousand tons of crushing, beigebronzy death.... Bomb Arrows away....

And the last foot went out, and the mighty Divine Beast Vah Naboris sank to the earth—we had literally brought it to its knees.

....It had the same face as that on the Thunder Helm....

What followed then were some of the most beautifully animated and charged cutscenes I had seen thus far: the two of us, the Chief and I, surging the final distance to the subdued Divine Beast, Link swinging off his sliding shield as his sand seal came to a halt, leaping deftly into a run to join the Chief where she stood, and imparted a few final words.... There was only so much Chief Riju the leader of the Gerudo could do—the rest was up to Link now.  And Link as he hurried to board Vah Naboris.... clinging fingers and toes in a kneeling position to that slanted surface as the beast began to rise again.... I could feel the strain and balance in his muscles oh if he could just hold on....

These were the best cinematics.