Fire and Flurry

Evening of Monday, May 13, 2019 (comprised of raw note editings from April 5, 2023 through April 14, 2023 that I really hope sound consistent because I left it alone for too long)

Fire and Flurry

Dottie and the twins were over for a short visit, while Ben and Cami went to another store to try and find the right formula.

Mom and Dad were all over the twins. They are so—frikkin’—adorable.

But Dottie gravitated my way and kept telling me, “PLAY ZELDAAAA!”

So.... we played.

We started in my Hateno house, still in my pajamas. But Dottie chose a new outfit before we continued: King Rhoam’s green Warm Doublet, the Sapphire Circlet.... and Rubber Tights.

She just liked the look of those ones together.

Then after consulting my map, and letting Dottie know we were on the hunt for a shrine, we decided to go to Akkala to check out Tempest Gulch....

It was good; I had wanted a better run of that valley, just to make sure I’d covered all my bases. But with that Lynel in the way....

Mmm it was the same one I had been unable to kill before, when my friends were over to celebrate my birthday. Come to think of it, it had even been a blue one that time.

I hadn’t been strong enough then.

But now....?

Now it was only a very rigorous chore, and I was up to it.

It wasn’t a blue one this time, though.

On our approach, I showed Dottie the best way to sneak up on this particular Lynel, and climbed up into the bone-bleach crags. The land was cracked here, and toothy, like the Breach of Demise. Though perhaps it didn’t look quite as unearthly as that.

We climbed one of the most prominent rocks until we were high above the golden grassy valley below, where the Lynel prowled among the aspens. After that it was only a leap and a quiet sail downward.... some minor course correcting as needed.... and a properly affronting fwump onto the proud beast’s back where we rode it like a bronco.

It bucked us off after a bit though, and I conceded to fight it down on its own turf.

I had become much better at dodging the monsters’ swinging weapons and enormous, swiping claws.

“Flurry, flurry, flurry!” Dottie would say whenever time slowed down and a flurry-rush opportunity opened up.

We killed it, reaped the bounty of its innards....

And Tempest Gulch was ours.

We ran around the rocks as we twined our way up the canyon, combing here and there until we came to the lake, checking out more crevices, more hidden bends, more alcoves in the winding geography, but.... we found no shrines.

Well.... up into the volcano then. The rocks turned from white to red but were no less jagged as we ascended. Wandering, wandering, wandering....

Still no shrines.

I wanted to check out that ruin-looking place I’d left a marker on from the time when I was further south on the eastern flank.

Dottie told me to warp up higher to get to it; it would be faster.

I could see a somewhat nearby shrine, and Vah Rudania of course. Could be worth our while....

But I told her I’d have to put on fireproof clothes first. “Is that okay?”

“Can you still wear the crown?” she asked. The Sapphire Circlet.

“Mmmmaybe....” But I didn’t. It was the volcano, after all.

We warped to the Lizard, hopped a few crags and then sailed down toward the ruin. As we drew near, we could see some kind of Fire Wizzrobe prancing about the tottering beams and blackened foundations. Meteor, I saw. I knew that weapon. That was a Meteor Rod.

This was one of the stronger Wizzrobes, then....

I did not engage it at that moment, however.

Ben and Cami came back. And of a sudden it was time for Dottie and the twins to get ready to go home.

I kept the game paused as the children were gathered up. It’s always rough to step out mid-adventure. But we’d see each other again.

We said goodbye for the night....

~

Left to myself once more, I killed the Wizzrobe in mid-flight with a slow-motion ice arrow. But there was nothing at the ruin.

Well, no shrines anyway. Just the mystery of what poor settler or settlers used to live there, and the hope that they were able to escape the fiery havoc of Ganon’s minions.

That spot crossed off, I warped round the volcano’s cone to the Bridge of Eldin. For in paragliding from the top all the way down to the ruin, I had caught sight of that old road that wound up the side of the peak. Hadn’t taken that road since Yunobo and I had stormed the caldera....

So from the shrine near the bridge, I crossed over into the blazing central peak of Death Mountain, and once again hoofed it up on foot over the ash-blasted, embered trail.

But comb and search as I might.... I still found no shrines hidden in the volcano’s upper reaches.

Oh, fed up with everything I decided to PARAGLIDE TO ROBBIE’S PLACE.

From the top of the old caldera-road.

The mind-boggling distance slowly but steadily gnawed straight through all three of my stamina wheels, and I had to take a stamina-boosting skewer on the fly. But I did make it. Or close enough to it—I wanted to check out Bloodleaf Lake in the ravine below the furnace....

But there were no shrines there either. That I could see.

I climbed up to Robbie’s place....

He and Jerrin said much the same things as they normally said, but—what was....?

Robbie’s Memoirs, the book on the little desk was entitled.

Had I—? Had I ever....?

Had this always been here?

Huh, I’d.... I didn’t think I’d ever read his diary before.... no but maybe I did.... once.... maybe....

If so it was a looong time ago. Yeah....

Or maybe I’d just been so transfixed by that Cherry could craft armor for me....

Had I really never seen this before?

 

 

The Entry With No Shrines

Waking of Friday, May 3, 2019

The Entry With No Shrines

I warped to the Akkala Tower.

Time for more exploring.

I sailed down, moved into the trees and cleaned out the Torin Wetland—that waterlogged version of the Valley of Terror. Aside from all the dead and rusted Guardians in there, there were also two crawling Guardian Stalkers and one stationary Decayed one. I’d wanted to practice my range parrying the Guardians’ attacks; I was doing okay I thought. But it was still easiest to time it when they were right next to me.

When there was nothing awful left to slay I hiked back up the road and cleaned out the Akkala Parade Ground ruins. There was a Hinox in there, and it was good enough to drop some GUTS for me, which brought me up to seven. I could upgrade some clothes with that....

I was exploring around, exploring around, sniffing into all the various corners of the leafy Parade Ground court, when.... I heard someone in trouble.

But there was no one nearby.

But I was deep in the shadow the Akkala Citadel and its bridges, towering above me. The person must have been....

“Revari.... ONEGAI,” I geeked, and the Rito Champion’s spirit took me up in a trice to the bridge ruins where a lone Hylian man was cornered, beset by Bokoblins.

I fought them off, and the man, Neil, thanked me, and gave me an elixir of some kind.

He told me about the Akkala Citadel. Evidently it had acted as a last stronghold of a sort. It was said to be unassailable. But when the Castle fell, the army here, originally meant to protect Akkala, had no royalty to lead them, and the concentrated attack from the out of control Guardians brought it to ruin.

“Hyrule may very well have made its last stand here,” he said, or something like it.

Hm.

I paraglided or galed my way over the broken bridge, over to the Citadel side, to sport with the Flyer making its rounds about the lower level, and took it down after only a few mishaps.

The Flyers were hard, but.... I was getting better, I thought.

Okay. I had enough Hinox guts, and Mija was just over there across the way. I sailed over to see her, keeping my eyes open for shrines all the while, but.... nothing.

Mija upgraded my Barbarian Armor to the max. YES.

From there.... Hhhhhh I considered messing with some Lizalfos down by the Rist Peninsula, but.... ehhh, decided against it.

Instead I warped to Gut Check Rock and traveled thence up and around the volcano to....

That Skeleton.

THE ELDIN GREAT SKELETON.

WHY DOESN’T IT HAVE A SHRINE?

I searched for clues. Anything. Something that could trigger the appearance of a Shrine. I scoured the adjacent ashfalls and cliffsides. I climbed over the nearby rocks. I ran along the skeleton from nose to tail-tip. I crawled in its giant eye-sockets and planted bombs. Nothing.

....

Well it had worked in Ocarina of Time.

....

But I was just having no luck.

Well, different luck—for there was a music and a sudden wind....

Dinraal!

I tried and failed to get another claw from the dragon. Nuts!

Eh I went and killed the Lynel next door. Silver. Did pretty well.

Came back and killed the bad guy camp under the skeleton—

WHY IS THERE NO SHRINE?

....I may never know.

Or it wouldn’t be any time soon at least. Because now.... it was time for sushi.

Hahh, the Eldin Great Skeleton was a hard place to get to, but.... ehhh I would just warp to.... somewhere.... and save.

I’d warp to my house. No. The Deku Tree.

I’d warp to the Deku Tree’s Navel.

And I did.

Sushi.

Ice cream.

Great afternoon with Mom. ^_^ <3

When I picked up the game again I did a little shopping and cooking at the Deku Tree’s Navel, and some more of the same at Rito Village. I just wanted to buy some ingredients that I couldn’t get out in the field, like wheat and sugar cane and butter.

Siara was around, and she’d been interested to see the amusing clothing-upgrade animations. So I warped to the Great Fairy Tera in the desert and set her to work on my long-neglected Climber’s Shirt, which I’d been retaining at low level for just this purpose.

The animations were cute and Siara laughed, from the glitter-blowing to the head-bopping to the face-kissing to.... well, whatever it is they do on the fourth one.

And I finally got the perk for the Climbing Set, dimly registering that my climbing stamina usage was reduced or something to that end.

But my mind was already back on shrines.

I scanned the map, looking for triple-trees. Those anomalous little mini-copses of three trees or bushes or cacti standing in perfect, orderly little lines. Did those point to shrines?

I took stock; most of the things these formations pointed to were easy to find. There, that one pointed to a shrine, which had been hidden.... But that one in the desert pointed to Pocky’s Shrine, which was never hidden. But THERE, on that waterfall.... Where did that point to?

I warped to Faron to check it out, and couldn’t find a shrine. But I did find an ore cache that had been hidden.

Maybe the triple-trees pointed to secrets, and not necessarily just shrines.

Still, that desert one....

Hmm.

Running out of gas I worked my way over to the Highland Stable. I visited Malanya, who reported that I’m good with horses. Cool.

Took out Dragmire from the stable and rode to Kakariko. Didn’t stay at the inn, though. Just.... saved and put it to bed.

No Tarryin' for Tarrey!

Waking of Friday, February 8, 2019

No Tarryin’ for Tarrey!

While logging, I’d been referencing YouTube for unremembered details about the Thundra Plateau, and was shocked to remember how unconcerned the Piano was as it sat there picking its nails in the rain. When all of a sudden Oh.... so that’s where the Rubber Armor is....

I’d always meant to avoid spoilers, but....

Whoops!

I started at my house in Hateno.

Spoke to Bolson. He wondered about Hudson.

I was gonna go find Hudson.

But first, took a detour and warped to the Thundra Plateau to pick up the Rubber Shirt! That was a sneaky place to hide a treasure chest.... Now all I lacked of the set was the headpiece....

Warped back to the Wolf Shrine in Akkala—or, warped there for the “first” time.... Sailed down, lighted on the land bridge, same thing. Hi, Hudson!

He’s out here building a town.

Gave him ten bundles of wood. And now.... he needs a Goron.

Well.... If the lovely red rocks here were fated to be leveled anyway....

I warped to Goron City. I thought perhaps one of the diggers from Gorko Tunnel might be the one Hudson was looking for; they seemed like hard workers.... But neither of their names ended in –son. I asked around town, but could find no one who fit Hudson’s qualifications anywhere. Nothing.

So I ran down to the South Mine, and it was there that I met up with.... Greyson!

He was looking for somewhere where he could use his strength to help people!

“Tarrey Town!” I tell him, “It’s in Akkala!”

Oh cool, he liked that. - u - So he called to his little brother Pelison to come along and the two of them started off! Right into their own little cutscene blackout.

Well! c:

I warped after them, and Tarrey Town had another building!

AND A TROMBONE! 8D

The music had been simpler when it was just Hudson, but now.... it had another layer!

That was cool! ^__^

What was more, Greyson was much happier working for Hudson. ^_^ And little Pelison, still in his big yellow hardhat, had opened an ore shop! He said with all the rock they were moving around, they were finding some pretty good stuff to sell!

Well this place was developing quickly! :D

I spoke to Hudson again, and this time gave him twenty bundles of wood to help out. But he had another issue he was dealing with as well.... his clothes kept wearing out. He said he needed someone skilled in tailoring. Probably a Gerudo.

Well I knew just where to find one of those!

Gerudo Town! :D

But of course, Hudson had also said he could only take on someone whose name ended in –son, per Bolson Construction Company policy.

Criminy biscuits....

I asked around anyway. The clothing shop? It seemed like a good place to start looking for a tailor.... But their names didn’t end in –son.

WAIT.

OH MY GOSH I knew where this was going.

That one. That girl, the Gerudo, at Kara Kara Bazaar.

That one. What was her name? It ended in –son, I was sure of it.

The one who was looking for her true love.

Oh my gosh I so knew where this was going....

I sand sealed out to Kara Kara Bazaar! And I found her. Rhondson! That was her name. And she told me she was still continuing her search for a husband.

“Go to Tarrey Town!” I tell her! ^_^

“Tarrey Town?”

“It’s in Akkala!”

“Akkala... That’s a long way from here...”

But she considered, and conceded to herself that it wasn’t like she was getting anywhere here. And so she decided that.... She’d do it! She was gonna go home and pack a huge bag; it was gonna be a loooong journey.

And so she went.... with that same musical outro into a blackout.

They had all walked away with that same music. Tarrey Town music....

This was getting exciting! :D

I warped back to Tarrey Town! Still more rocks had been cleared away and there was yet another building! And little harp-like accent thingies to the music!

Hudson had been the Piano and the English horn. Greyson the trombone. Now Rhondson a harp or something like it. What a lovely ensemble this was turning out to be! ^_^

Rhondson now also had a clothing shop. And she sold the Desert Voe stuff! 8D

When I spoke to her she said she’d had to repair Hudson’s clothes just about every day. And she went on to say that actually.... it had been a little rough. The holes were enough to deal with, but.... Hudson’s clothes also stank of sweat. And whenever she brought it up, Hudson got all defensive! “Is this the only kind of voe I’ll meet around here?” she wondered unhappily at me.

She wondered....

Heh, but I didn’t.

Her future writ itself all over the sky right then and there before my eyes.

Oh this was going to be good. X-)

I continued exploring the houses again, and I saw some.... Hylians?

“Who are you?” I blundered. I didn’t recall going and finding anybody else to come here....?

I spoke to the woman and child first. Ruli was the mother, and her daughter Hunnie had been in poor health lately. They thought it would do them good to move out here where the air was fresh and there were not a lot of people.

Well it was pretty country, and very refreshing out here. Given you could keep the Guardians out of your pajamas.

“Now if my daughter’s appetite would just pick up,” Ruli went on. For she was sure Hunnie would do better if she would just eat more. “At night I need to talk to Papa again...” she finished mysteriously.

Who is Papa?

I hadn’t seen anyone else in the house.

Hm.

I looked around and THERE WAS ANOTHER HYLIAN SITTING ON THE GROUND LOOKING AT THE LAKE.

THIS WAS ALL GOING WAY TOO FAST! 8D

“Are you Papa?” I asked him, running up.

But he gave no indication of even knowing the other two.

My gosh how many people were moving out here??

Hagie was his name. He all but shoved 100 rupees into my hand to make me go kill the two Guardians in the lake. Sidequest, huh?

So I did. Easily.

Felt good, man.

On a quest so small I thought about being more present, but.... I just warped to the Wolf Shrine and sailed back in from the other direction, instead of climbing back up the big red rock.

The hundred rupees had been Hagie’s downpayment, and so now that the deed was done (he saw everything, he said), he gave me the rest: 20 rupees. Pfft.

Hagie remarked on my evidently apparent disappointment before the Sidequest Complete banner flashed across the screen. “Hobbies of the Rich” had been the name of that one.

That guy was loopy!

Aaaand I needed to harvest more wood, because this time.... Hudson needed thirty bundles of it. And after a time and going through some trees up the hill—which might have entailed the instance that certain Big Yigaman ghosted out to fight me and I narrowly evaded the razor shock from his WindCleaver only by dint of being shorter and standing downhill, and was thenceforth happy to assume that WindCleavers could not pitch their strokes—I delivered. I went back to town, and gave Hudson the thirty bundles of wood.

Hudson told me that with the growth of the town, they needed distribution. They needed a general store. They needed somebody who knew how to distribute goods and keep a store running.

“So a traveling merchant?” I asked. Oh great, I’m gonna have to find somebody on the road....

“Yeah, a Rito would be able to get around and move goods!” says Hudson.

Oh.

Well, the only Rito I knew of outside of their hometown were Kass, Frita and Guy. And none of their names.... well....

....

Hmmmm.

....

So I went to Rito Town and started up around the Neck, looking for SONS.... Not Laissa. Not Harth—“Not you I like you too much,” I said.

WAIT A MINUTE!

I stopped.

“That guy!”

I jumped over the rail and sailed back down to the first level and found.... Fyson! The sulky teal one who wanted to leave his mom’s store and open up a store of his own and sell anything he wanted!

“Heard of Tarrey Town?” I grinned.

I told him all about it, and he remarked that Akkala was pretty far away.... But he also said that he’s got to leave the nest somehow.... and the thought of his own store.... It sounded wonderful....

He’d do it! ^_^

And he went.... and walked off into the blackout. Every time one of these people had walked off, he’d had that same little music that saw him off....

I warped back to Tarrey Town and there was a fresh clarinet! ^_^

Ah! But it felt so special that a denizen of my favorite town in the game should be accompanied by my own instrument. ♡

And Fyson was selling arrows! 8D Handy! ^_^

And now Hudson needed 50 bundles of wood! 8O

I didn’t have fifty bundles of wood!

Aaaand ssoooo.... I decided I’d better just fall back on an old reliable source of mine, and went and blew up the woods outside of Hateno, in the old Concussion Forest.

Remember?

After I’d completely deforested the slopes west of Hateno Village, I came back to Tarrey Town—and in fact I did catch Ruli and Hagie together.... so Hagie must have been the “Papa” of that family—and remembered I needed to talk to Rhondson some more....

And I talked to her....

AND THEY WERE ENGAGED!

RHONDSON AND HUDSON WERE ENGAGED!

“What!?” I say.

But haha, she only laughed at my surprise, and said I could talk to Hudson to know more.

Heh, I’d forgotten to talk to her last time. Guessed I’d never know the interrim.... unless I checked YouTube or something.

So I talked to Hudson and gave him the fifty bundles of wood.

And he wanted to talk about something a little.... personal....

I asked him what it was....

“I got engaged!” he says.

“No way!” I say, XD “To who?”

Was that in the game? Eh I’ll chalk it up to a Clemensism.

“To who?”

“To Rhondson.”

Aaaand my choices: “You’re a cute couple!” or “What a surprise!” XD

I say.... “What a surprise!” XD

“You say that, but for some reason, I think you mean the opposite,” says Hudson. XD XD XD XD XD

He goes on, “Anyway, we want to have a little ceremony to celebrate, but we need someone priest-like to officiate.”

Oh, I have known just the guy for MONTHS....

“Priest-like, huh...” I smirk.

Hudson continued, “If we’re looking for a people devout enough to have a priest-like person...I’d suggest the Zora.”

Way ahead of you buddy. X-)

And again, the stipulation of the name ending in –son....

I was in Zora’s Domain in a trice, hoofing it up out of the shrine chamber and making my way back toward the sleeping quarters....

Kapson.

“If during your travels you meet any engaged couples I would like you to introduce them to me.” He said this as if we’d just been continuing our conversation from so long ago. “Joining two souls is a true honor, one I shall stake my life on. Just one more wedding...and I shall be fulfilled.”

“Get a load of this...” I said. XD XD XD XD And I fell into the inevitable gesticulations.

Kapson looked pleased. “I have been waiting to hear those words,” he smiled. “Now, please tell me the specifics...”

“Tarrey Town in Akkala!” I let him know.

“As for the location... Hmmm...” Kapson thought to himself. “Tarrey Town in Akkala... Akkala isn’t too far from here. It would please me to hurry there right away.”

And here I was given a choice of response: “By yourself?” or “Yes, please!”

I showed concern; he was quite an old fish. “By yourself?”

But he laughed a grizzled old laugh. “No need to worry about me. I have always had confidence in my fins and feet!”

Well that was good to hear, then. He sounded like a hale old fish. :) And he was bigger than I was anyway....

“It has been a long while since I have had work. I am eager to put my skills to good use! You should come as well. I will start my preparations in Tarrey Town in the meantime.”

And he walked off with the same music.... ^_^

Hahhh....

So he really wasn’t for Tye and Sorelia after all.

I followed after him right away....

And, you know, despite all the buildings, and the beautiful red rocks being cleared away.... Tarrey Town still really was quite lovely. ^_^

Only....

It was RAINING when I warped back! I DID NOT WANT TO DO THIS ON A RAINY DAY.

I went to look for shrines instead!

Or something....

Studying my map I warped here and there, poking and checking.... Okay, a CHEST beside the shrine name meant all the treasure inside had been gotten.... I looked around, sweeping the cursor over my shrine-markers. Dang I’ve missed a lot of treasure.... Huh, the Blessing Ones were probably just weapons I didn’t have room for....

Okay back to Akkala. Impatience took me quickly and I warped back to Tarrey Town.

The rain had stopped.

And now there was a guitar. ^_^

Heh, a guitar for a Zora, how fitting....

The island was completely developed now. Five comely buildings stood in a neat circle around the edges of the now flat rock. Oh but I wish they hadn’t paved the little Goddess statue pond. It seemed so.... sterile, now. It looked like.... It looked like....

It looked like IKEA.

....

I found another new Hylian in town as well, lounging out on a balcony. A Sheikah! I spoke to him....

And oh my gosh it was Granté! Wasn’t he.... Robbie’s and.... her....’s.... son? Jerrin! Jerrin. Robbie’s and Jerrin’s son? He was.

And HE SOLD ULTRA RARE ARMOR?

UUUHHHHHHHHHHH?????? THIS KID SOLD THE ENTIRE RUBBER SET????

WHAT IN THE WORLD WHERE DID HE’S GOT ALL THESE CLOTHES??? [[Grammar from my original notes.]]

OH MY GOSH HE’S GOT THE OLD SHIRT, WELL-WORN TROUSERS, Rubber ensemble, Climber’s ensemble, Barbarian ensemble, Sand Boots and Snow Boots!

And the ensemble pieces were 4,000 rupees a pop!

Huh.... I wondered....

Not that I had that kind of cash on me right then.

I looked around some more.... And found that Ha! Kapson ran the inn. XD That was a nice, grandfatherly fit for the hale old fish. ^_^

I visited with him and he said an important guest had yet to arrive before the wedding could take place.... and that I could talk to Hudson for the details....

So I went back outside and talked to Hudson. He was grateful that I’d found Kapson.

“He and I talked earlier,” Hudson started, “and he said that he literally was a priest before he retired. You can’t get more priest-like than that.”

XD

“And his name is Kapson, so I have no objections there.”

Naturally!

We talked a bit more, and I gathered that Oh, he wanted me to find guests! Bolson and Karson! But of course. XD

Hudson said he was busy preparing for the ceremony, and asked me if I could invite them.

Oh buddy.... You’ve got your hands full; just leave it to Link....

The stage seemed set.... This was all so exciting!

Almost all seemed to be just about in readiness....

Rito Village

Waking of Saturday, January 5, 2019 ~ 3

Rito Village

I had a feeling I was going to like it here.

Mazli was the next Rito I met; he seemed to patrol the boardwalks about the townward end of the series of bridges. He told me Vah Medoh shot down anything that flew too high, and that it was frustrating for the Rito to have to fly so close to the ground.

I looked up. Now that I was here, on the Rito Rock, I could see that the Divine Beast seemed to be set in a circling course around it high in the sky. Like the biggest buzzard in the world....

Another Rito, this one with seagreen plumage, lazed on a larger landing as the boardwalk veered off to the right and began to circle the Neck. He seemed down; I guessed the oppressive Divine Beast had everyone in low spirits.

Like they do.

There were shops branching off this lowest circuit of the path, and they all seemed similar in build to that house I had seen of Kass’ up on the treeshroom, only bigger. An ample, circular floor, a short wall rising up to about waist-height around the circumference (excepting at the door), and above this, enough vertical supports to hold up the high roof, which was conical, rustically shingled on the outside, and warmly raftered on the inside. The resultant open views onto the lake and the yellow mountains beyond were spectacular.

Each shop seemed to have its own clappercaller standing outside, hungry for custom. There was the Swallow’s Roost, which was the local inn. Two honeymooning Hylians were staying there, but the wife thought this town was a hole; I told her she didn’t know what she was talking about. Then there was the Slippery Falcon, which sold all the goodly foodstuffs you couldn’t find out in the field, like milk, wheat, and butter, as well as some pretty good arrows. And then there was the Brazen Beak, which was the clothing and armor shop. And they sold....

“THE WINGALING HAT!” I gasped. 8D

This set was called the Snowquill Trousers, Shirt, and Headdress. WOW! And they imparted a cold-reducing effect. Excellent! I bought the whole ensemble, and oh did they look smashing.

The basis of all the clothing I could see the Rito wearing included a front-lacing, corset-like girdle that reached all the way up to the breastbone and ended in an acute chevron just below the waist. It looked very aerodynamic, and its design was echoed in the Snowquill Shirt fit for Hylians. The shoulders and waist-back also sported decorative feathering, and the whole outfit was trimmed with the soft-spoken diamonds and gentle geometric patterns of the Rito aesthetic, which I’d seen painted neatly along the boardwalks on my way in.

And with my head at long last under the Wingaling Hat, my sidelocks were now bound into pristine little tresses, completely enclosed at the bottom by those decorative, anchor-shaped jewelry-weights. And leaping up behind my pointy left ear, the namesake of the thing: a single, wing-shaped piece rising white and glittering from the circlet. The asymmetrical design gave the headdress.... an archaic, sylvan kind of grace.

Now these would be good for cold climates!

Further along the winding, rising boardwalk as it wrapped counterclockwise around the Neck, I met more Ritos, in their open, circular dwellings, more Ritos, talking about the Divine Beast, more Ritos, wishing they could give it what for, and—oh my gosh—BABY RITOS! Oh my gosh they were so cute! ^_^

One little one I spoke to told me tales about how “Molli’s dad got hurt—” ( Uh!? D8 ) “—and Tulin’s dad went missing.” Oh my gosh....

Maybe some of them had tried to give the Divine Beast what for, and their efforts had gone awry.... I’d seen that with other peoples. I hoped they were all right—I wanted to help—I can’t help it—when I hear about people getting hurt—

My shrine-detector had been brreep-brreeping at me, and I found the shrine, partway up the spiral, at the end of a little jutting tangent of the boardwalk, on the broad, grassy top of another great thrusting shoot of yellow rock. The Akh Va’quot Shrine.

A dizzying windmill puzzle lay inside. My sleepy mind couldn’t handle much more of this....

I locked it down all the same, and continued along the path.

The spiraling boardwalk just opened up on the right side at whiles, sometimes plainly with simple breaks in the railing, sometimes grandly in broad landings. I guessed these were an airfaring people after all. Perhaps the spiraling path wasn’t so linear as it looked, if you included the airways....

And then I came to the dwelling of one Harth.

Harth sat on the floor at the back of his house, head bowed, holding one wing. “Owwwwwwwww...” I heard him murmur. This must have been the one who was injured.

All of the other Rito I had seen had plumage in a modest rainbow of colors; the children were more and especially vibrant. But Harth was black as soot, with long crest-feathers drooping in a brooding sulk from his head.

I asked him what the matter was, but he didn’t really want to talk to me about it, only muttering about that cursed monster. When I pressed, he introduced himself as the village bowsmith. But he couldn’t raise his arm just now, so business wasn’t that great at the moment.

He left it off at that.

“Are you all right?” I asked him once more.

“Not really... If this is what we are up against, we should have put more stock in the elder’s words.”

I couldn’t get anything else out of him, and on that enigmatic note he dropped his head again and returned to cradling his wing.

What did he mean ‘we’ should have....?

Did he and someone else attack the Divine Beast?

“Molli’s dad got hurt, and Tulin’s dad went missing.”

But where else could one go who went missing? After attacking a Divine Beast?

I hoped missing only meant missing, and not DEAD. For the child’s sake. Though.... some romantic in me hungered after higher stakes and drama.

I left Harth alone. I could only go back to the boardwalk and higher round the Neck in hopes of finding out more from someone else.

But I only found more of the same, Ritos sighing and lamenting about the Beast overhead. And then I came to the home of Saki.

Saki looked different from the other female Rito—for oh she was definitely female, stunning in light, roselavender plumage with bright pink crest-feathers set back into a voluptuous bouffant, upcurled ends in pleasant, bouncing layers. Her face was somehow softer, not as sharp as other Rito faces, her eyes like wells.

Similar to other female Rito, she wore the decorative hoop-bangles where the men wore their anchored sidelocks. But her double-breasted oversash (the men’s sashes were single-sided, as was the one on my Snowquill Shirt) was white, instead of the seemingly traditional red. The rest of her ensemble was also lighter.

Surely now, I thought, maybe this one will open up and tell me something....

“Can I help you?” she asked when I approached.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“Never mind. Forget it.” And she broke off.

Dude....

I approached her again.

“Hello,” she said, “Please. Now is not a good time.”

Nothing.

I was really curious and concerned about the fate of that missing Rito....

And I was quickly running out of Rito houses to call on....

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

Waking of Friday, November 16, 2018 ~ 2

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

From the Maka Rah Shrine....

Tera. I went to Tera.

I had two Naydra hornshards now.... I could have upgraded my Champion’s Tunic.... if I wanted.

....

I DID. I UPGRADED THE CHAMPION’S TUNIC, and finding myself in possession of further required materials I KEPT UPGRADING UNTIL IT WAS AT ITS MAXIMUM LEVEL, WITH 32 DEFENSE! MORE THAN TWICE WHAT IT HAD BEEN AT BEFORE. AND I UPGRADED THE HYLIAN CLOTHES. AND THE ZORA AMOR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR SINCE I HAD SIXTEEN CORES NOW. AND THE DESERT VOE GEAR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR AGAIN BECAUSE ON THE NEXT AND FINAL UPGRADE EACH PIECE REQUIRED A STAR FRAGMENT AND TWO GIANT ANCIENT CORES. And well.... I just happened to have SEVEN GIANT ANCIENT CORES ON ME. And if I hadn’t been saving them for this.... then what?

UPGRADE ALL THE THINGS.

AND EVERYTHING HAD BEEN CAST TO THE BACK OF MY INVENTORY.

AND ALL MY FAVORITE CLOTHES WERE OFF THE FIRST PAGE.

AND EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF ORDER AND WOULD TAKE FOREVER TO MANEUVER BACK TO EVEN SOME SEMBLANCE OF ITS FORMER STRUCTURE BY FAIRY-ENHANCEMENTS ALONE.

IT WAS ALL OUT OF ORDER.

AND THEN.

I SORTED MY CLOSET.

SORTED SORTED. And it was done now. Couldn’t undo it.

It was done.

And that was all right.

Hoo. Andrea: 1, OCD: 0.

I went to Kakariko to test my maxed-out Guardian Armor, but stopped to talk to Impa on the way. I tried to get that orb in her house again, but no, not yet, she still wasn’t having it.

What happens when you bring it to the pedestal up the hill?

Hhhhh.

I guessed I wouldn’t find out today.

So out the back I went, onto the Sahasra Slope; and a sharp left turn and a hug along the cliffs brought me as always to my favorite monster to milk: the Pit Guardian.

Once I’d attracted its attention, and the terrifying Piano began ripping up the sky above my head in a panic.... I stood my ground, and waited. Facing it.

I let it hit me full on once, in my Ancient Armor. And the hit took off.... five or six hearts.

I’d seen Lynels take off more than that in a single hit.

Well that was cool! :D

My curiosity sated, I killed it.

And it gave me a Giant Ancient Core back. Part of the Ancient Proficiency perk? Maybe.

Ah, life was good.

Shortly thereafter I was distracted by a star fragment that fell into the central plains. I went to get it and came back via the Dueling Peaks Tower. I killed the other two Guardians near the Pit—and the freakin’ stalcreatures were out and making life difficult—but DANG the sound my glowing sword made when it killed was like THUNDER.

RESOUNDING.

POWERFUL.

MY GOSH.

Feeling brash and bold and amazingly confident in my armor and with my parrying skills and wielding the Master Sword, I worked my way back infield and onto the plains. I was going to go to the ranch! To see what was there.... Maybe another horse! Maybe another special horse!

I forgot the Guardians and whatever paltry bother they posed! I was comin’ up bold as brass! I killed the Guardians that spotted me! AND dodged those freakin’ pesky mounted Bokoblins!

That one Big Yigaman posed some problems; I was fighting with him when I again heard the Guardian music! I killed him quickly, and then faced the mechanical menace. It was hard and I took some blasts to the face, but I got him in the end....

NOW to the ranch....

But oh, wait.... my controller was in the red.

....

I could have used the Pro Controller.... David favors that one, and I’ve used it a few times.... like whenever my battery’s run low.... But.... Hm, maybe not against Guardians yet....

I set the WiiU Controller in its cradle, and.... dozed.... on the couch. It was late. But I didn’t wanna let it sit for more than an hour, or it would turn off.... dozed.... dozed....

And I SNIFFED AND SAT UP OH I WAS TIRED.

Ugh—

I couldn’t do the ranch right now.

I warped to Pepp’s. Slept and saved it. Went to bed.

That was enough.

Huppenwoop

Waking of Saturday, November 3, 2018 ~ 2

Huppenwoop

With the controller recharged I started up at the Serenne Stable again, ready to head to the colder climates of the northwest....

But....

....Was there some kind of buzzkill risk? What slowed me down?

I warped away to Cotera instead.

I had her upgrade some of my Desert Voe Gear, not that it would do me much good north of Serenne.... But....

Mmm I wanted to upgrade more things but when you upgrade things it flings them to the back of the closet; didn’t want to max out too many items before I got to my Champion’s Tunic; wanted to max that one out sooner so that all the other items being upgraded and flung to the back would push it forward onto the front page again....

Dratblast it I didn’t have any Naydra horn! I needed Naydra horn to enhance the Champion’s Tunic....

I had tried to set myself up at the perfect launch point to head into the cold northwest and finally fill in my map.

But I wanted that Naydra horn....

I warped to Mount Lanayru instead, and LOITERED.

I was waiting for the dragon, and it took forever. I paraglided down a bit, and then climbed back up and then climbed up on top of the ice pillars and then paraglided some more.... Down the slope of the mountain I stood on a pedestal of ice. Just stood. Lookin’ cool. Swiveling the camera.

“You know,” I said to David, “I’ve seen you, and everybody else, climbing around tall mountains with that friggin’ Wingaling Hat on your heads.” Just something I’d seen from further unintented glimpses.

David briefly gave me a funny look and then, “Oh,” he said knowingly.

“What do you think of me just climbing around in my Ruby Circlet and Warm Doublet?”

He thought for a moment, then said in a chiding voice, “Inefficient.”

“I killed a Lynel in this thing.” I nodded toward the Warm Doublet. “How do you like me now?”

“I said inefficient, not insufficient.”

“Have you ever killed a Lynel in this thing? It’s got, like, one defense.”

“I’ve never killed a Lynel.”

Well that made me feel right hoity-toity.

I climbed around some more, making Link jump and burning my stamina. “Hup! Hup! Woop! Huhn!” said Link.

“Careful you don’t run outta hup,” said David.

Link wooped.

“Or woop,” I said.

“Hupp ‘n woop,” said David.

“Huppenwoop—that sounds like a band. Like.... Steppenwolf. Huppenwoop.”

“Like a band?” David laughed. “Huppenwoop.”

“Why do I know that name? Didn’t they do....?”

“Magic Carpet Ride,” David supplied.

“Yeah, yeah, I knew it was something from Star Trek.” I had that soundtrack. Good one.

I made sure not to run out of huppenwoop.

I stood some more, waiting for the dragon. I scoped in to look at the layout of the land, and where Lanayru Road was, and what lay between here and there. I told David about the big gross Hinox snoring away in the place with the pristine-sounding name of Purifier Lake. “Nice,” I sneered.

I looked at the low snowfield in the foothills and the little forested area beyond.

“I could go and kill the Hinox. And kill the Lynel.” I considered.

“Gosh!” David burst, “What the heck, I mean you used to be the person that, like.... a speck of dust might move across the screen and you’d be like ‘Oh my gosh what is that run away!’”

“Or that thought a goat was Beast Ganon?” I reminded him with a grin.

“Yes!”

I paraglided down to Lanayru Road a couple of times. I was sure Naydra would make a pass there, or at least I had my suspicions....

And eventually.... HE DID! And I GOT that Naydra Horn! Huzzah! I KNEW he made passes through that valley! I knew that had to be him I’d seen reflected in the microwave door that one time....!

Faron's Five-Cent Tour

Waking of Saturday, October 27, 2018 ~ 4

Faron’s Five-Cent Tour

I warped to the Shoda Sah Shrine in the rainy jungles of Faron, and went up the plateau. I’d seen it from the top of that mountain above the Twin Bridges.... the Lynel. Except it was a White Lynel now.

It had stood between me and the tower. I remembered....

I killed it. Awesomely. I don’t think I even got a scratch.

And I floated down a level to the next broad shelf, and found a Red Hinox.

I killed it, too.

Down another level and I ran into a nest of Lizalfos.

Killed ‘em.

And there, out from the edge of the next shelf downward.... was the crown of the Sheikah Tower. I could have floated over and it would have been a very short climb to the top, but....

I looked down.

An Electric Wizzrobe pranced around the tower’s base, and a cloud of Keese swarmed about its middling heights.

A few appeals to Ja Baij and they were all gone.

I sailed down and ran around the base for a little bit, scaring up what Koroks I could, before giving the tower a proper climb.

And the Faron Tower and local map were mine.

Cooool. I could see the places I’d been to—that pointy sandbar was called Cape Cresia, with a Soka Point at its tip.

All the Floria names were cool. I made my way north to a Keelay Plain—which was one of the very few places I’ve found that have gravel—enjoyed the foley—played some dangerous bog games looking for Koroks in Tobio’s Hollow, then up to the Jia Highlands and Angel Peak.

I was getting quite good at clearing out entire camps of Moblins and Bokoblins before they even knew I was there.

I remember paragliding in to the very last Bokoblin in my mask, his start of surprise and then friendly approach to come talk Bokoblin to me, and how I cut him down in two rapid strokes the instant he was close enough.

Didn’t even give him time to blink.

“I’m a heartless murderer,” I said to myself.

Of course, that very night was a Blood Moon and they all came straight back. In the high meadow I killed the stray Guardian one more time before getting out of there and paragliding all the way to Dueling Peaks Stable—I’d wanted to do that since I first climbed up to Misko’s Cache above the Twin Bridges. I was in roughly the same area....

But I couldn’t think of any business to see to at Dueling Peaks Stable, and I was getting tired, which meant.... it was another warping meander back to the Great Fairy Tera.

I upgraded a crapton of clothes.

And I considered....

I considered.... sorting.... for a while....

Sooorrrrt?

No.

Not cleaning my closet yet

GOOD NIGHT.