The Young Chief

Evening of Sunday, June 10, 2018

The Young Chief

When the night was cool I walked out from the Gerudo Canyon Stable to Kara Kara Bazaar to go arrow-shopping. Then it was off to Gerudo Town for more of the same, chased by Lizalfos all night....

My goodness, that arrow-stall in town.... It’s like a candy store. A very expensive candy store where the sweets come with fletching and they oftentimes explode. I bought most of the lady’s stock, spending thousands of rupees I am sure. But I got a little of it back when, after I was done purchasing, I sold the lady my spare Gerudo attire. I don’t need it.

I met Jules in passing on the street again—“Sav’otta!” she said, “Instead of ‘good morning’.” She said she wanted to practice using Gerudo words.

So Sav’otta meant good morning....

Well, that was one phrase I could translate, then!

I approached the palace. The guards maintained a fierce manner (“. . . or else you and my spear will have a very personal conversation!” Link flinched at threatened retribution for bad behavior!) but they let me in. Evidently Chief Riju was still up to entertaining visitors.

The throne room was wide, with gently-flowing, shallow aqueducts lining the way to the throne. Riju sat leaning to one side upon it, her cheek resting lightly on delicate knuckles. Her clothes were exquisitely beautiful, and an ornate headdress nestled perfectly in her fiery hair. She certainly had the air of a Chief, but she was still so young—short in the midst of all these towering women. To her left stood her protector Buliara, an enormous guard with intimidating armor. She looked down at me with wideset eyes flanking a broad nosebridge....

“Just another traveler....” Riju started, but then seemed to subtly notice something, and added that perhaps there was more to this one that met the eye.

It was that thing on my hip....

The Chief seemed to have a soft-spoken way. So young but so collected. Calm. Her blue lipstick only ever bent her mouth between a coolly disconnected concern, mirrored by her brow.... and a quiet, intelligent smile, beneath eyes that could see a thousand miles.

They asked me what I wanted. I told them I could calm Vah Naboris. And as I saw Link gesticulating in his Gerudo Attire I just imagined him talking in a girly voice, and laughed.

Somehow it felt relatable to a contralto like me.... |D

Buliara scoffed that only Champions like Lady Urbosa could possibly stand a chance at such a venture. And she didn’t recall any Hylian vai among the Champions.

Riju asked me my name.

“Link.”

There was one Hylian among the Champions, too, Riju reminded Buliara. The Chief remembered hearing that the Princess Zelda had put the fallen warrior into an enchanted sleep. And his name was Link, too.

Chief Riju opened her eyes from thought and looked at me.

“You’re a voe.”

Oh they found me out.

Buliara became incensed at this incursion!

But Riju directed her protector’s attentions to the object hanging on my hip: “A treasured relic of the Sheikah,” she said, “You don’t think, Buliara, that they’d entrust it to just some drifter, do you?”

I think Riju knew who I was....

Though her face and demeanor were so well masked.

I suppose it came from dwelling in a city of all women.

Still, Buliara had limited faith in me, and suggested—perhaps not entirely out of good will.... “Why not have him prove himself by retrieving the stolen Thunder Helm?”

Riju softly considered this and hmmm.... agreed to it. “Go through that arch,” she directed me to my right, “It leads to the barracks. Talk to Captain Teake.” The Captain and her subordinates, Riju suggested, would be able to give me any information I needed on the whereabouts of the thieves....

And so I took my leave.

I remembered these barracks—I walked down the stairs and visited with all the Gerudo in training again, gleaning what tidbits they could give me, until I came to Captain Teake on her higher platform in the back.

Captain Teake stood strong and solid with her arms crossed, overseeing the exercises of her soldiers. I’d forgotten that she had the lightest complexion of any Gerudo I’d ever met. I wondered if she burned in the sun....

The Captain and her women seemed to have been made aware that they were to cooperate with me, and they did. I asked around, collected some clues, and wouldn’t you know it.... It seemed the thieves who had stolen the Thunder Helm were nestled away in Karusa Valley.

Or as I had become wont to refer to it....

SATAN CANYON.

Yup.

There was nothing for it then but a quick warp to the Sho Dantu Shrine in that valley, a little bit of a hike up the way—worked my way up, killed some Yiga—and before I knew it I had once again come to the end of the canyon.

But this time.... the doorway into the sandstone was wide open.

....

So I called my brother David.

He sounded busy. “What’s up?” he asked, or some variant thereof.

“Well I am about to enter the Yiga Nest and I wondered if you wanted me to wait for you.”

I heard him gasp.

Seemed like a real dilemma.

I knew this was the part he’d said he was most excited to watch me play.

“Where are you?” I asked him.

“Shara’s house.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just talking.”

“What are you talking about?”

“. . . .”

Sometimes I feel like such a family dog.

Not that I guess I’d know at all—we’ve never had a dog.

David hemmed and hawed and huffed and hmmmed but.... in the end he said he just couldn’t make me wait, when he knew where I was, when he knew what I was playing. He was too far away to be back any time soon . . . . though if I felt like waiting for him at all.... that.... would be cool.... Oh but he couldn’t, not really. I should just go ahead....

I should just go ahead....

I should just go ahead....

. . . .

Mmmm ehhhhhh I would just....

QUEST FOR PANTS

Waking of a Saturday, February 3, 2018

QUEST FOR PANTS

I warped from Cotera’s to Gerudo Town, and found Bozai. He seemed overly-concerned when he learned that a delicate little flower such as myself (for I was disguised as a girl again) had actually ventured into the wild Gerudo Highlands. He didn’t think I’d actually do it. But when he saw the pictograph I’d taken of the Eighth Heroine, he could make no disputations—he’d promised me those Sand Boots, and so he gave me those Sand Boots.

Though it was a real wrench handing back the Snow Boots, I tell you what.

He kept flirting with me pretty strongly until I could worm my way out of the conversation. But then.... as he sat beneath the tent out in front of the town....

I approached him again.

And dang. I don’t know if even I had boiled it down to what was really on my mind. Not so baldly or succinctly. But the penetrating bluntness of the very first option I was given in my conversation with Bozai spelled it out plain—“I want Snow Boots.”

Dang it, Nintendo! I could take a lesson in non-codependent assertiveness from this.... XD

Bozai seemed taken aback, but sweetly accommodating. And through all his coddly flirting he struck a new deal for this delicate desert flower and her silly flights of fancy.... one she wouldn’t possibly be able to see through....

If I could snap a pictograph of the Eighth Heroine’s Missing Sword—

Hahh, yes, yes, indeed—the Missing Sword—so that’s what it was.... But I hardly heard the rest of Bozai’s words for how pleased I was feeling at having the fetchquest mapped so plainly before me! ^_^

If I could take a pictograph of the Eighth Heroine’s Missing Sword, this time without the aid of the Snow Boots he had lent me before, then he would let me have and keep the Snow Boots upon my return.

He was sure I would never find it this time, as it didn’t really exist, I heard him murmur beneath his breath.

Oh what wicked cacklings were mine as I warped off to the Shrine of Kema Kosassa....

It was slower going, without the Snow Boots. But at least that left me to finally invest in something with a higher defense for my legs.

I schlumped up the mountain to the Dragon’s Nest, and was favored with the good fortune of there not having been a Blood Moon in the meanwhile—no Lynel to tangle with.... and no Moblin either!—and took a fabulously artful pictograph of the sword.

A simple warp and a change of wardrobe later I was back at Gerudo Town, once again listening to Bozai’s incredulous fluster at my having ventured into such savage, dangerous territory, a dainty little thing like me, I mean really! Silly girl, didn’t I know I could’ve been seriously—

I showed Bozai the pictograph.

He was shocked.

“Snow Boots,” I snapped.

DANG! XD XD Didn’t let him mess around much for this encounter, did they? XD XD

Bozai.... shifted, and hemmed, and hawed, and.... decided he’d better stay true to his word. After all.... this was his big move for a pretty lady....

He gave me the Snow Boots. And started to ask, “Would you... g-go... out... with...”

“Not a chance.”

“You could at least let me finish the question.”

Aoh MAN.... XD SAVAGE. XD XD XD

Well, Bozai couldn’t really go anywhere after that—he was confined to the little tent out front of the city. The sand was very hot after all.

I felt kinda bad that I’d taken every lower-body wardrobe item he had....

But not nearly bad enough to do anything about it, not that the game had a mechanism for it that I could tell!

Nyahahahaha! XD

Forbidden City, Take Two

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 7

Forbidden City, Take Two

I tried again. And this time, I did not remove my Gerudo garb.

Some ladies at the Canteen were driving me nuts—muttering to each other about some secret password to some secret place. But every time I listened in, they shut up about it and told me to get lost.

Fed up I grabbed a loose barrel from the corner of the room and chucked it into their general midst before turning to leave.

I derived a really wonderful juvenile pleasure from their shrieking reactions then.

But on my way into the other room, I met and spoke with one of the few Hylian women I’d seen wandering around.

Jules was her name.

“Say, are you, uhh... I really don’t know how to say it... Might you be... A boy?”

Link jolted back in surprise!

“You are! I knew it!”

Who was this lady?

“It’s really impressive—you getting in here without anyone else noticing!” she said, “No need to worry. I won’t tell a soul. Just a little secret between us Hylian vai, right? Hehehe.”

Oh my gosh this was awesome. X-)

I left the Canteen and continued to climb around, until a guard kept me from inadvertently entering the palace, whereupon I wound up back at the entrance of said palace and saw....

“TRAYSI?”

That was the name. That was her. In the flesh. A Hylian.

The author of all those volumes of the Rumor Mill.

She looked nothing like I had imagined. Her writing sounded more like a hyperactive teenage girl, but she was.... rather a well-filled out, wide-faced woman.

She seemed to be arguing with one of the palace guards, maybe over entry into the building, maybe over something else. I forgot very quickly, because I was more interested in the plight of another nearby Gerudo.

Her name was Malena. But I might have first called her Shorty. Her stature really was quite small, especially next to those guards.

Malena had asked them for help, but they were still on high alert after the theft of the Thunder Helm, and couldn’t spare time or energy for the citizenry.

Malena’s husband had fallen very ill, and I caught from her that only the innards of a Molduga would cure him.

....What the heck was a Molduga?

Malena told me it was a monster so fierce that even other monsters fled before it. She said that it lived to the west, and the south, and that it was impossible to approach for it was sensitive to vibrations in the ground, and that any who drew near it would surely be KILLED.

Wo . . .

. . . was her.

The sidequest banner flashed over the top of the screen.

What the heck was a Molduga?

Dazed, I continued combing the endless city.

I discovered that I could in fact make it to the top of the central stone formation without the aid of the Zora Armor or my Climber’s Bandana—and was rewarded with a Korok at the top for my trouble!

The view from the topmost waterspring was excellent. And I’ve just reached three hundred pages. What in even the heck.

The view from the topmost waterspring was excellent, and after taking a look over the city I sailed down into a partition I had not yet explored—a training area of some kind.

The Captain Teake I met there, and her subordinates, said much the same thing the other guards had been telling me: the Thunder Helm was stolen. Everyone was on high alert.

Aside from this they didn’t say much. Except perhaps for some minor grumbling from the low-rungers now being overworked, and practicing endless spear-jabs.

Further wandering brought me to a little paddock with a few sand seals in it. They were more ruddyrose-colored than the ones out in the dunes, and they wore harnesses.

These ones were domesticated, and wouldn’t burrow away if you left them alone.

Frelly’s mother, Kohm, was renting them out.

Twenty rupees.

....

....Molduga . . . .

“I’ll take one,” I said.

Forbidden City, Take One

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 6

Forbidden City, Take One

Did you know that if you press jump repeatedly while running, Link will put alternating feet forward on every leap?

Like you’re skipping.

I skipped over the rocks beside the oasis at Kara Kara Bazaar, in my Gerudo outfit.

....

I’m so pretty.

Upon arriving back at Kara Kara Bazaar, I’d fooled Rhondson. “What a cute vai. Are you out seeking the love of your life, as well?” she had asked. I had answered in the affirmative and she had wished us both good luck.

My pretty disguise seemed to be working all right, and dusk was falling—prime time for traveling in this dangerously hot desert.

It was time to head to Gerudo Town.

I was quickly discovering that the distance between the town and the bazaar was not so great after all. I covered the distance in a trice, but not before running into the brusque and imposing Kyra once again on the way.

She complimented my clothes.

Huh, how warm and genuine she was.

....

Yes, this was a very good disguise.

I arrived at the town well before dawn, but.... I wanted to enter it in the daytime, and so passed the hours by exploring some ruins to the north until sunup. Tons of Warm and Electric Safflina. A Korok. And no shortage of Lizalfos by any means. They followed chittering after me as I searched the ruins in my mask....

But I did not finish combing the structures before the sky began to lighten. It was going to get hot soon.

I would explore the rest of the ruins later.

Dashing back to town, I ducked into the shrine to remove the Lizalfos Mask and put my Gerudo outfit back on.

Man the defense was so low. Just 1 for each of the three pieces.

When lightning struck my brain.

I warped to Cotera’s spring—it was raining in Kakariko—and asked for her help, but.... there was nothing she could do about my Gerudo clothes.

Oh. Never mind. >_<

Back to Gerudo Town.

I approached the gate. Merina and Dorrah still stood sentinel on either side.

....

I calmly walked in without a word like I owned the place.

And I was IN.

Some part of me had expected the view through the gate to be a flat, painted backdrop, a la the entrance into the desert city of Nasrad. But I just watched in only slightly jarring astonishment, as the already-rendered depth took me in, the paved ground opened wide around me, and an enormous plaza springing with palm trees burst into colorful life.

Oh my gosh this town was BIG.

One Fegran told about Chief Riju and her worry about the Divine Beast. A little girl Gerudo ran around at play. There was a clothing shop! I bought a set.... and found them to be little different from what I already had, except in color.

I liked my original ones better.

THERE WAS A GORON! “Are you a lady Goron?” I asked as I ran up to.... her??

Lyndae was her name. But her voice was as low as any other Goron’s. “Sa...botta? You really have to bite your lip to get that V sound out clearly.”

More linguistical delights. XD

“A little kid made fun of me yesterday for not being able to get the pronunciation right,” she went on, “I don’t know why, but it sounds the same to me no matter what I do...”

Someone named Ms. Ashai taught classes on relationships and cooking—AND I SAW A RITO LADY! :D Frita was her name, she had a rosy tint to her plumage, and she was looking for some good meats. But she complained that they didn’t seem to have any poultry....

I’d seen a joke about that somewhere on the internet. XD

The place was too big, too tangled—how far did it go?

I ran around, taking it all in in a flurry. The inn, run by Romah, had a spa plan, instead of a soft bed. (Come to think of it I wonder if that would have blown my cover!) Rima, a retired palace guard whom I found out toward the back, felt like she’d met me before. But she’d never been outside the city. Well she looked old enough—did she know me from a hundred years ago?

I heard gossip and rumors: Some thieves had snuck in and stolen the heirloom of the chief, the Thunder Helm—Oh my, that sounded like something I wanted.... The chief’s sand seal had spooked and pulled her close to Vah Naboris! But she got away. But it never would have happened if Buliara had been there. Who’s Buliara?

New captain of the guard?

And then there was Isha. She made accessories—

OUT OF GEMSTONES?  D8

THAT TRANSFER THEIR POWER TO WHOEVER WEARS THEM?  ತдತ

“YOU ARE THE DROIDS I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!” I shouted through the screen.

She just needed ten pieces of flint to kickstart her business—I gave them. And she offered me my choice of accessory in return: a Ruby Circlet, a Sapphire Circlet, or Topaz Earrings. Cold resistance, heat resistance, and electricity resistance respectively.

I chose the Sapphire Circlet, since I was in a desert.

“Heehee, I thought you’d pick that one,” Isha smiled.

You did?

“Wait just a moment.”

The screen darkened and there were craftsmanly noises while she made it for me.... and then she handed it over! Ah! Thank you, Isha! ^__^

And since I’d gotten her business up and running for her, she said I could come back any time for a special discount! “Just...don’t tell my other customers, OK?”

“Don’t tell your other customers what?” I said. ;)

I walked into the shop and spoke to Isha’s associate, Cara. “Vas’aaq,” she said, “I heard you brought some flint for us, little vai. You’re a lifesaver!” And then in small font: “How about...I tell you one of the owner’s secrets as my way of saying sarqso?”

“Tell me!” I say. :D

“I heard the owner... sleeps wearing nothing... but accessories...”

Oh dear! Ó༤Ò

“I wonder if she gets cold...”

Haha, yeah, I wonder, Cara! ^_^;;

She gave me a few other secrets—it seemed they varied—before I bought two more accessories: Ruby and Topaz.

Back outside and the city was as large and sprawling and confusing as ever, so I started climbing the walls—and found that there were aqueducts up on top! All nicely tiled and everything! Wow!

I was certainly enjoying the bird’s eye view—and there were still so many ways to go up here! I dashed along edges and looked and climbed until—

I was momentarily bemused by a melon rind floating down the current; it spilled over an edge and into a rubbish heap.

I looked upstream: another melon rind came drifting after the first.

What the heck?

I followed these mysterious rinds up the aqueduct until I climbed up over a high ledge and discovered.... a single, solitary Gerudo, sitting cross-legged on top of the wall, pigging out on melons and tossing the rinds into the water.

Her name was Calyban, and she didn’t really care for my company or my conversation, but only continued eating, up here in her sequestered hideaway.

....

I hoped she was not named for her father.

Though if that were the case the city might have been peopled with Calybans by then.

*

In climbing higher up the aqueducts I had come closer to the enormous central stone formation from which all the water seemed to be flowing. It came down in great, cascading falls that spilled into an encompassing, beautifully tiled channel before draining out to the rest of the city.

I wanted up there.

But the rocks looked . . . . difficult. The formation flared outward before the top came to its crest—would I even be able to hold on? And I couldn’t wear my Climber’s Bandana; that would leave my man-face exposed....

Hmmmm....

! The Zora Suit! I could swim up the waterfall in my Zora Armor!

I ran around the central water channel until I found a place where I was sure no one could see me, and ducked down for good measure.

I wonder why I didn’t think to just put on the chest piece.

As soon as I unpaused, wearing the complete Zora Set—

“Sound the alarm! A voe has been detected,” said Dorrah.

And the screen faded to black and they threw me out of town.

The Prettiest Voe

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 4

The Prettiest Voe

A Hylian dressed like a Gerudo. A “pretty Hylian gal”.

That was who I was looking for, this cool night in Kara Kara Bazaar.

Robsten said this.... person was around the general store, but I didn’t see anybody around any of the stalls.

Ripp the guard said she’d seen a Hylian vai wandering around the inn. Said she was probably still in town, as the Divine Beast was scaring a lot of people out of traveling right now.

So to the inn I went.

But nobody new was inside.

I bought all of Shailu’s (newly-stocked) arrows again and went back outside. There was really only one more place to check. That spot up on top of the big, bulbous rock. The spot which David had been so eager for me to visit....

So I climbed the ladders, got up on top, and saw a Hylian standing there, clad in shimmering purplish silks, looking out into the desert where Vah Naboris stomped.

The Gerudo clothes made the figure seem.... well really short.

I got the person’s attention. Vilia was her name.

“Oh my what a lovely young lad you are,” she said, “Do you need something from me?”

“I NEED YOUR CLOTHES,” I said in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.

Oh my gosh and what a low voice this woman had.

This ‘Vilia’ went on to.... compliment my looks or something I DON’T REMEMBER BECAUSE IT WAS TOO RIDICULOUS—

And I was presented with a couple of choices in the dialogue, and I tried to keep it.... Well, I didn’t want to upset anything.

“You’re very beautiful!” I said. And she was so tickled by this that she offered to give me some Gerudo clothing of my own because it would just look so enchanting on my adorable body why is this pervert offering me clothes I’m a man.

Six hundred rupees and a fade-to-black later, I stood on the rock in a lavender scarf and top, green harem pants and lightweight slippers on my feet—

“*Eeeeee!*” Vilia squealed, complete with asterisks and music note icons!

—And absolutely nothing on my midriff.

“You look adorable!!” Vilia went on, while Link first cupped his hands to the sides of his blushing face, and then WILTED into this girlish stance dance, swaying uncertainly with his shoulders hunched, his low hands clasped together, and his eyes down and away.

Oh my gosh. XD

I didn’t really catch much of the rest of what Vilia said, except when the wind blew her scarf out of the way and I swore she had a beard.

“And make sure to watch out for the wind,” she advised.

At which Link delivered a most timely facepalm, and the cinematic drew to a close.

“Be sure to come back and see me any time if you need more clothes!”

Uh, yeah, sure thing, Vilia. ಠ_ಠ