Privy Thoughts Again

Evening of Wednesday, June 19, 2019 (comprised of many raw note editings from May 1 through May 10, 2023 that I really hope sound consistent because I left it alone for too long)

Privy Thoughts Again

I had asked the interwebs the previous day. Or the day before. For help. Help on the last two shrines. There was no answer for a long time.

But there was an answer today.

But I didn’t look at it. Because David.... encouraged me not to. He told me I was like the church member who finally just said That’s it I’m gonna try a beer, and then ALL my friends who drink would be like NONONONONO DON’T DO THAT??

Keepin’ me on the straight and narrow.

So I left the thread alone.

And I never went back.

That teaser for a Breath of the Wild sequel came out the other day.... I saw Link and Zelda traveling underground..... leading some large, horned pack-beast.... and Zelda had cut her hair!

And I just thought Underground.... underground....

If I play that game.... and I don’t meet up again with Master Kohga....

If Master Kohga doesn’t appear again with his antics

and all his silly dialogue....

If I don’t get to kick that guy’s butt again

until he becomes a good guy,

becomes a part of my nakama,

becomes my Friend....

Well that would just be the saddest panda.

~

Is nakama even the right word?

I can’t remember my Japanese art history class....

~

I had only one hundred and eighteen shrines.

....

I must....

I must look forward.

I cannot see another way....

Do I dawdle?

Do I try?

Where do I go?

....

My shoulder was too girly and roundy; no way the Little Link was gonna stay put there. I reclined him comfortably on the couch beside me instead.

....

I saved.

I went.

And I was in the Library. In a little concealed hidey-hole that had somehow always escaped my notice until now, hidden behind another Magnesable bookshelf at the head of the room.

The King’s Study.

Saved here, and....

There was a chest, with a gold rupee inside it, and....

There was a book.

Sitting open on a stately desk.

King Rhoam’s Journal.

The Writings of

Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule

Today, as the sun rose and a new day

was born, my daughter, too, joined this

sweet world.

Oh.... such a span of years in this journal!

In keeping with the traditions of

the royal family, I have decided

to name her...Zelda.

I am not a man accustomed to frivolous

musings, but now seems as good a time

as any to begin my royal memorandum.

Next.

Reports keep arriving regarding the

excavation of relics. The fortune teller’s

predictions seem to be coming true.

That Fortune-Teller again....

Calamity Ganon was not a figure of fable,

or even of legend. He actually existed in

our great land of Hyrule.

What was that even like? To not know, to have him be so distant.... So distant it feels like just a legend. A story....

We must investigate all the relics, learn

as much as we can. But understanding

the Divine Beasts alone will take time...

Zelda’s eyes lit up like a wildfire when

I told her about the relics... I must admit,

she has a knack for research.

The King admits it.... But.... He still must have felt the sway of the mighty responsibilities on their shoulders....

Next.

My Queen has left this world. [Oh....] Her death

was so sudden and unexpected, I awaken

most nights unsure if she is really gone.

Zelda never cried, never faltered. [No?] Not

even during the royal funeral or later

when she and I were alone with our grief.

I must assume her strength is a result of

us repeatedly informing her of her duty

to be a valiant and steady princess.

I wonder.... That woman from her dream....

For a child of merely six [Six??] years of age,

her conduct was truly that of a born

leader. Her strength gives me hope.

From now on, I must raise her all alone...

Now, only I remain to prepare her for her

difficult future as princess of Hyrule.

I wonder.... if there have ever been Hyrulean Princesses who were not named Zelda....

Next.

Zelda finally reported back after her visit

to the fountain. [Oh not this day already, surely....] It seems her sacred

sealing power has still yet to awaken.

It has been a year and three months

since her mother passed. [Oh, no, she was younger then.... a different fountain maybe....] Perhaps she is

held back by heartache too deep to heal.

If the Ganon prophecy wasn’t looming

over our heads, I would tell her to take

her time... To wait until she is ready.

They—or he—did feel the pressure, then.

But our situation is dire and leaves no

room for weakness—even on behalf of

my beloved daughter.

It.... must have been hard. For him.

My heart breaks for Zelda, but I must act

as a king, not a father. I must order her

to train relentlessly at the fountain.

Next.

I was told Zelda went off to research

ancient technology, so I had no

choice but to confront her about it.

That day.

She claims she was simply using her day

off from training to indulge in a bit of

research, but still I scolded her.

She won’t get it through her head...

Forcing me to tell her the same thing

I have been repeating ad nauseam.

No but she must have known.... But felt so helpless....

The reason her sacred powers still won’t

awaken is because she’s spending all her

efforts playing at being a scholar!

Huhhhh.

Next.

In truth, I understand Zelda’s feelings.

Painfully so. She lost her mother, her

teacher, before she could learn from her.

Ten pointless years of self-training,

without so much as a book or note

to help her find her way...

It sounds.... hard.

Those in the castle talk behind her back.

And I, her only family, scold her for

her shortcomings.

Hhhhh.

No wonder she wishes to hide away in

her beloved relic research. I’d love

nothing more than to console her...

These two poor hard lost souls.

But I must stay strong. She MUST

fulfill her duty, just as we all must.

Even if she comes to despise me.

I cannot fault him. He is being a father. He is being a man.

Next.

I have been told my Zelda went to the

Spring of Wisdom...

Not this day.

This will likely be her last chance. [....Does he.... sense something, somehow?]

If she is unable to awaken her power

at Lanayru, all hope is truly lost.

No.

Please, do not tell me the King died thinking ruin and calamity had come upon him because of his daughter....

If she comes back without success,

then I shall speak kindly with her.

Scolding is pointless now.

Lost.... lost....

Lost chances.

I forced 10 years of training on her...

and after all that, it seems her power

will stubbornly awaken some other way.

Perhaps I should encourage her to keep

researching her beloved relics. They may

just lead her to answers I can’t provide.

For now, I sit anxiously, more a father

than a king in this moment. I sit and

await my daughter’s return.

....

That.... is the end.

This study.

....

I wonder how it ended for him.

....

I have to go.

I will try to make my way to the top.

After I save again....

~

 

Privy Thoughts

Waking of Monday, April 22, 2019 ~ 2

Privy Thoughts

I looked around.

There was comfortable (albeit ruined) furniture, a bookshelf, a little dressing screen over on the other side—there was a chest behind it, but.... not yet—and.... the remains of what must have been a grandiose bed. But the upper canopy was collapsed down upon it. Wardrobe. More.... more furniture....

Was this.... Zelda’s room?

I read her diary.

The first entry:

After meeting with the Champions, I left

to research the ancient technology, but

nothing of note came of my research.

The return of Ganon looms—a dark force

taunting us from afar. I must learn all I

can about the relics so we can stop him.

If the fortune-teller’s prophecy is to be

believed, there isn’t much time left...

Fortune-teller?

Ah, but turning over these thoughts in

my head puts me ill at ease. I suppose

I should turn in for the night.

P.S. Tomorrow my father is assigning

HIM as my appointed knight...

Oh my gosh, she.... she hated me....

Next:

I set out for Goron City today to

make some adjustments to

Dvine Beast Vah Rudania.

I still recall feeling his eyes on me as I

walked ahead. The feeling stayed with

me so long, I grew anxious and weary.

I remembered that day! Walking along the little lake, what was its name?

It is the same feeling I’ve felt before in

his company... And still, not a word

passes his lips.

So I really am silent.

I never know what he’s thinking! [Oh, I must be infuriating!] It makes

my imagination run wild, guessing at

what he is thinking but will not say.

What does the boy chosen by the sword

that seals the darkness think of me?

Will I ever truly know?

She.... wanted to know what I thought of her?

Then, I suppose it’s simple. A daughter

of Hyrule’s royal family yet unable to

use sealing magic... He must despise me.

OHHHH NOOOOO no no no, Zelda, no!  D8  >__<  T__T Oh gosh I can’t—

Next:

I said something awful to him today...

Eh? What.... could that have been?

My research was going nowhere. I was

feeling depressed, and I had told him

repeatedly not to accompany me.

But he did anyway, as he always does,

and so I yelled at him without restraint.

Could that have been.... at the Ancient Pillars, in Tabantha?

He seemed confused by my anger. I feel

terribly guilty...and that guilt only makes

me more agitated than I was before.

Is she going to muse on all the memories I’ve recovered?

Next:

I am unsure how to put today’s events

into words. Words so often evade me

lately, and now more than ever.

He saved me. Without a thought for his

own life, he protected me from the

ruthless blades of the Yiga Clan.

I remember.

Though I’ve been cold to him all this

time...taking my selfish and childish

anger out on him at every turn...

No, but you were always so weighed down.... with something....

Still, he was there for me. I won’t ever

forget that. Tomorrow, I shall apologize

for all that has transpired between us.

And then...I will try talking to him.

To Link. It’s worth a shot.

She called me by my name!

Next:

Bit by bit, I’ve gotten Link to open up

to me. [Uh! What does she remember that I don’t?] It turns out he’s quite a glutton. [WHAT?]

He can’t resist a delicious meal!

When I finally got around to asking why

he’s so quiet all the time, I could tell it

was difficult for him to say. But he did.

What.... did I say?

What did I say?

With so much at stake, and so many eyes

upon him [hahh, truly], he feels it necessary to stay

strong and to silently bear any burden.

I can accept that.

A feeling I know all too well... For him,

it has caused him to stop outwardly

expressing his thoughts and feelings.

I wonder what I had been like before, then.

I always believed him to be simply a

gifted person who had never faced a

day of hardship. How wrong I was...

You’ll feed my ego with talk like that, Princess.

Everyone has struggles that go unseen

by the world... I was so absorbed with

my own problems, I failed to see his.

Well.... to be honest I didn’t think much of yours with all I’ve had on my plate lately. I only knew something had been weighing on you.... and I only wondered why....

I wish to talk with him more and to see

what lies beneath those calm waters [heh, calm?],

to hear him speak freely and openly...

And perhaps I, too, will be able to bare

my soul to him and share the demons

that have plagued me all these years.

I wished you had....

Next:

Father scolded me again today. He told

me I am to have nothing more to do with

researching ancient technology.

The basis of the plan? But I can’t judge a king....

He insisted that I focus instead on

training that will help me awaken

my sealing magic.

That’s hard.

I was so frustrated and ashamed I could

not even speak. I’ve been training since

I was a child, and yet...

Mother passed the year before my

training was to begin. In losing her,

I lost not just a mother, but a teacher.

Oh Zelda....

Mother used to smile and tell me,

“Zelda, my love, all will be well in

the end. You can do anything.”

But she was wrong. [No.] No matter how I try

or how much time passes...the sealing

power that is my birthright evades me.

What does it even mean to be born Hylian Royalty?

Tomorrow I journey with Link to the

Spring of Power to train. But this, too,

will end in failure. Such is my curse.

No, Zelda, you’re not cursed!

I wish I could reach back and tell her so....

Next:

I had a dream last night... In a place

consumed by darkness, a lone woman

gazed at me, haloed by blinding light.

Oh.... I do like hearing about dreams. Did you know that about me?

Go on.

I sensed she was...not of this world.

I don’t know if she was a fairy or a

goddess, but she was beautiful.

Tell me.

Her lips spoke urgently, but her voice

did not reach me. Would I have heard

her if my power was awoken?

Or was my dream simply a manifestation

of my fears? I am sure I will know the

answer soon, whether I wish to or not...

Don’t let it worry you. Only take what you can from it. But you should never let a dream worry you.

Next:

I turned 17 today. [I remember this too!] That means this is the

day I will finally be allowed to train at the

Spring of Wisdom.

I’m suddenly just so grateful and admiring that the Princess kept a journal.

When Link arrives, we will set out for

Mount Lanayru. The other Champions

will accompany us there.

Oh no.

Is it the memory I’m thinking of?

I have not seen my father since he last

scolded me. [Oh no.] Things are too strained

now... I will meet with him when I return.

Oh no, oh no.... no....

...

Actually...I’ve had a horrible feeling ever

since that weird dream. No one would

believe a failure of a princess, but...

What is it? What did you do?

Right now, for no particular reason, I am

filled with a strange and terrible certainty

that something awful is about to happen.

....That was the end.

She never said what she might have done about that feeling.

Did she see her father again?

I tried to remember King Rhoam, so far away and long ago on the Great Plateau.

Did they part well?

I don’t know.

And now I’m here in.... what may very well have been Zelda’s bedroom.

The sun was sinking in a fiery radiance, beautiful despite the Malice dripping through the air, it set the room with a golden light.

I’ve got to kill that Guardian up top.... the Flyer.

There is a memory up there....