Colossal

Waking of Saturday, January 27, 2018 ~ 2

Colossal

I made sure to change back into my winter garb before I spoke to the monk. And when I exited the shrine of Kema Kosassa . . . . the sun was shining.

The storm had passed, and the cracked snowfield shone brilliant in the daylight.

And according to my map, the Eighth Heroine stood just on the other side of the mountain, off the northern edge of the saddle snowfield.

But she was missing something, some aspect that the other seven had, according to the topo: two little jutting points off the tip of the triangle of her aerial silhouette.... I guessed I’d just see it when I got there.

I tried to climb higher for my approach, but as I scaled the western steps the wind came back, blustering the world into grey once more. A few Ice Keese came out to sport, and I was happy to collect their wings (the Great Fairies would find them useful in upgrading my clothes), but when I reached the last wall of the very highest western plateau of all the Gerudo Highlands, and tried to climb it—

That prohibiting chime.

And—

You can’t go any farther.

Huh.

I was still at an uneven, skewed edge, misaligned from the cardinal directions.

So the map was not truly rectangular after all.

Part of me.... kind of liked that. c:

It was all right; I continued northward and eventually the winds died down. And it was awful tricky out along the sheer rock walls as the shelves for my footing wore down to narrow ledges.... but the pictograph I captured of the colossal Eighth Heroine was excellent.

I begged her pardon as I paraglided over and climbed back up her person and ran around on her outstretched arms—it was the best way to regain the snowfield, and.... I like to climb on rocks.

And back up on top I immediately gave in to the temptation of a treasure chest tightly encompassed by no fewer than six baby Talus Pebblits.

I was rewarded for my persistence with a METEOR ROD, which I had never heard of before! It was powerful! 8D

The encounter had only slightly frayed my patience.... I wanted to continue to the peak east of the snowfield saddle, but the way between was thick with enemies. I didn’t want to deal with any of them, least of all that cluster of Bokoblins near the most obvious and accessible slope.

And so it was back to the western steps for a new approach. I climbed until I could climb no further, by which time the pretextual blizzard returned—this made it difficult to determine the optimum paragliding trajectory over the snowfield.... but my HUD was enough for that. It still functioned here.

I lined myself up as best as I could manage, and took a flying leap toward the slope I could not see....

The air cleared about halfway over, and I only needed a little correction. But aside from this my solution proved to be most effective! ^_^ Leaving camps of Bokoblins and multitudes of crouching Lizalfos in the dust, I hurried up the slope to the clear, bald top of Gerudo Summit where everything was open and the blue sky was so big....

Aaaand promptly turned around and ran back the other way when I saw that prowling equine silhouette.

The Lynel didn’t see me, but I could hear it roaring as I skirted about the edges of the peak. Thank goodness the cap was so rounded—there was so little to hide behind up here; the extra horizons were most welcome.

I came behind the single, house-sized butte on the peak that could offer sufficient cover—and laid my eyes on the most abrupt spectacle: a browned and weathered sword-hilt made of stone, jutting up from a deep crack in the rounded snowcap. It was about forty times the size of life.

I peeked over the edge of the little gorge; a Moblin snoozed before the spot where the giant blade was plunged into the earth.

Hhhhrm I didn’t want to deal with him just then.

But that Lynel....

This was the high haunt of Farosh. I might get scales or hornshards here.... But I wouldn’t be able to move freely with that Lynel in the way....

A White Lynel. The most powerful according to my Compendium.

Never faced one of those before.

....

No time like the present.

I camped atop the little butte, just far back enough to be out of sight. The high, rushing winds made Bomb Golf somewhat impractical, and so I switched to strong bows and specialty arrows. Still, the monster wandered where he would, and over distance my aim was weak. It was more a matter of persistence than patience, with the Lynel. I could sometimes pique his curiosity to draw him in by showing my head and tempting his terrible question-mark-thermometer before ducking down again. But he did not always come by me as the Molduga had. And once, getting wise, he came too close—and I found myself pinned down in my only retreat, which had been discovered from the desperation of the moment: clinging still and silent to the backside of the frozen butte while the monster surveyed the top.... until he finally wandered back down into his snowy field, and I could hunt him again.

In the end, busting Duplex Bows and with nothing but fletched wooden shafts to my name, I brought him down. And it was the first time among the bits left over that I was rewarded with Lynel Guts. They were quite.... colorful as I recall.

And then the run of the Dragon’s Nest was mine.

....For the moment anyway; I did not think I would be able to abide a Blood Moon up here.

I ran around and found the landscape to be more crowded than I had expected, with Pebblits, Octoroks, and un-Magnesable treasure chests. But these were paltry hurdles to clear for the ranging over of my prize.

There was a terrific gash carved across the summit, so big it registered on my topo. Ice and stone lay in broken slabs about it and scattered along its bottom. I wondered if Farosh had done that with his passing.... just scratched it right into the mountaintop. By the look of him he’d certainly be capable of such a feat. And at the end of another such depression, that giant sword stuck in the earth.

I crept up easily on the Moblin as he dozed, and sneakstruck him in the back.

I really do love that feature. X3

But one thing I have noticed about the really tough enemies.... is that one sneakstrike will not always bring them down. :c

But I put as hefty a dent as was possible in his health meter in one go for the opening salvo, and that was good enough to go on for the moment. A few more hits and he was down, and I was free to regard the giant sword.

It stood at an angle, and, in a most artistic juxtaposition, a regular-sized sword stood plunged into the snow at a mirrored angle, just before its base. Maybe the Moblin had been guarding it, or admiring it.

It was some beautiful thing with a shining golden hilt.... Gerudo I think....

But I had no room for it in my inventory.

I really.... really did need to see Mr. Hestu again.

In due course Farosh returned and I claimed a shard of his horn and sent him spiraling back into the heavens—so close now....

After this I knew it could be days before he’d make another appearance, and so set out to explore what remained to be explored. And in running all over the rest of the mountaintop, dodging Pebblits through the gouge like TIE Fighters in the Death Star’s channel, I gave in to my own peer pressure and simply demonstrated for David what the un-Magnesable chests were.... Ah I am too impatient....

As I checked my map to be sure I had swept over everything of at least visible interest, I spied a Korok circle down off the summit on the other side, the northern side. It sat low on a long plateau, with no small amount of topo lines in between. Very close laterally, but much farther away in terms of elevation. But the Kema Kosassa Shrine was enough to get me back if I wanted.

I stepped to the edge of the snowcap....

Hhhhh, there was always a hesitance. No, there was sometimes a hesitance.

You can’t fly and stay King of the Mountain.

In a wrenching jump my boots parted company with the Dragon’s Nest and I sailed down over the white northern ranges descending in rocky cascades all below me, the low plateau stretching ahead for all the world like Bright Angel Trail beyond Indian Gardens....

That freaking Korok was so much trouble....

I’ll give you a hint: No, you can’t carry the rock up that hill.

The last thing I regarded about the mountain was something I thought I had seen before, though I couldn’t remember when: Carved into the north face of the bare red rock was a large, four-pointed symbol of some kind—a lightning motif.

I was closer than I’d ever been to it. But.... I was tired. I would hike to it another time.

Instead I warped to Kakariko, and Cotera’s spring, where—wouldn’t you know it—the guts and hooves and horns I had recently taken from the Lynel came in handy in upgrading my Barbarian Helm! In fact I was able to upgrade a whole lot of clothes....

I guessed I had amassed quite a few extra materials since the last time I’d seen a Great Fairy.

Mon and Masks

Afternoon of Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Mon and Masks

I considered as I started up at Cotera’s spring once again.

I had over ten thousand rupees.

And I’d been meaning to get those sneaky pants sooner or later.

So I paraglided down into town, walked into the clothing shop, Enchanted—which was fortunately still open at this late hour—and for eighteen hundred rupees bought the Stealth (or whatever) top, leggings and mask. Wearing the latter had my hair up in a man-bun with picks through it. Heh. I’d wondered whether the wig on the mannequin was just a wig or....

I guess what you see is what you get.

I stepped back out into the night. It’d been a while since I’d walked around Kakariko Village. Which was that road that led back to the shrine and the fairy fountain? (For that matter, who cares about roads when you’re paragliding everywhere anyway?) I’d need to have Cotera do up my new clothes....

But before I spied the shrine, I spied something else, something lit up against the dark sky, high on one of the hills overlooking the village.... somewhat colorful....

I scoped in.

It was Kilton’s balloon, I was sure of it.

I climbed up and sure enough, it was him.

His monster shop was open for business.

The long and short of it was this: If I brought him monster parts, he would pay me in Mon—

“What’s Mon?” I asked.

“It’s a new currency I’m developing to destabilize the economy and bring down the establishment,” or SOMETHING was his answer! XD Oh I wished Daniel could’ve heard this! First IKEA, now Bitcoin, what would the game throw at me next!? XD

“Just kidding,” Kilton said after a second, “There is no establishment in Hyrule.”

Oh gosh this guy. XD

—And with the Mon I earned, I could buy monstery products from him.

He showcased a weapon called the Spring-Loaded Hammer, which allegedly would knock smaller enemies flying. But among his wares, I was most interested in a couple of masks he had for sale! A Bokoblin Mask, and a Moblin Mask.

I COULD USE THEM TO BLEND IN WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE EXEMPLIFICATORS. C8 What the—

!?

SERIOUSLY MS WORD THAT IS LEGIT A PIECE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE? I WAS GUESSING.

*cough*

....

Exemplificators....

Yes. Right then.

The masks looked incredibly homespun: fabrics of only similar colors held together by broad and obvious whipstitching over wavy seams, buttons for eyes—and not quite symmetrical at that! But their descriptions claimed they would give me the ability to walk undetected among my foes.

They were slightly expensive, considering the monster parts I would have to expend, and I didn’t like the thought of such a restricted legal tender, but this was too good to pass up. I quickly scraped up a selection of horns and talons and eyeballs and wings from my pockets, sold them for 99 Mon exactly, and then used that sum to buy the Bokoblin mask, the cheaper of the two.

I tried it on, and ran around and swiveled the camera to have a good look at myself—the floppy ears waggled with my movements, heh! But no sooner had I come to a standstill than all at once I hunched my posture right over, bent my knees, splayed my arms and did the Bokoblin Stance Dance! OH MY GOSH!! XD XD XD

I got so excited to try the other that I didn’t bother to calculate the exact sum of 199 Mon, but simply swapped out monster parts to Kilton (reserving no less than thirty of any given kind to myself) until I had enough and change!

And then on went the Moblin mask!

And I stood a hulking giant with powerful broad shoulders.

OH these were too good! XD

I passed on the Spring-Loaded Hammer and the Monster Extract, but went straight to Cotera after all that to do up what clothes I could. The masks, sadly but not surprisingly, could not be enhanced. But I had plenty of stealth-based ingredients to bring my Stealth Ensemble all the way up to level three in no time.

And get this—the set bonus that came with having enhanced Stealth clothes.... was faster movement at night. Haha! I felt like a Ninja! XD I could see the difference in my pace. I was so fast! 8D

But I took off the headpiece and redonned the Bokoblin’s pig head as I made my way out onto the Sahasra Slope. And I swear that mask made me emanate little snorting noises as I ran....

I knew there were mounted Bokoblins down here somewhere, and I found them.

And they found me. I could see the little question marks appear above their heads as they looked in my general direction. At first I took cover, but.... well, I was wearing the mask, wasn’t I? I had to be brave for my first field test!

I came back out from behind the bush, and there were the question marks again, filling, filling, filling with yellow....

Wait don’t they usually fill with red?

....

I didn’t think about it at the time.

But the first question mark filled all the way, popped into an alarming exclamation point....! And the Bokoblin kicked his horse and started walking it toward me.

He didn’t charge. He didn’t blow any warning horn.

He just walked.

And his friend came, too. A red one.

A black Bokoblin and a red Bokoblin, just walking their horses around me in a circle. Looking at me.

Did you know that red Bokoblins have blue eyes, but that black Bokoblins have red eyes?

I wonder what color blue Bokoblins’ eyes are.

“Don’t look at the screen don’t look at the screen!” I urged David as he stepped into the room. He rolled his eyes as I continued, “Wait wait wait.... I made a new friend....” I changed Link’s wardrobe to the Champion’s Tunic and Hylian Trousers, and switched to my scope to look at the black Bokoblin without having Link on the screen. “Okay you can look.”

David turned.

“See my new friend?” I grinned. The Bokoblin was still looking at me, and I followed him through the scope as he circled his horse.

“What’s on your head?” David asked.

“How did you—? Oh the reflection....”

He’d noticed something off as he faced away from the TV—and looked into the reflecting glass of a picture frame.

“What’s on your head?” he grinned, curious to see.

“Are you sure? Spoilers? Nothing?”

“Show me!” he laughed.

I came out of the scope, and was once again a stooping, crouching Bokoblin pig-man.

“What?” David spat in incredulous hilarity.

“I’m a Bokoblin!” I said. :D

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game.”

And I told him about the Sneaky Suit, and its bonus of extra speed at night! I went into my menu to put on everything but the headpiece.

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game—”

“Wait what’re those?” David gasped as I exited the pause menu.

“What’re what?” I knew perfectly well what.

“Those clothes? What were those?”

“Spoilers!”

“I don’t care.”

“Hnnnngg....”

“Let me see!”

I paused again

“What are these?” He pointed between my Moblin Mask and my Barbarian Helm.

“Well, that one turns me into a Moblin and that’s my Barbarian Helm.” But I could’ve sworn I saw him wearing something like it once.... “You don’t have that?” I asked.

“No.”

Hm, then it must have been unique to the Lomei Labyrinth.

Well, he’d find it sooner or later.

“What the heeeck?” he croaked through a dumbfounded grin as I modeled the Moblin Mask within the menu. The big dumb tongue lolled around as I moved. XD

I put the Bokoblin mask back on before I unpaused, and we watched the Bokoblins continue to react to my presence as I wore it.

I stood. I walked. I ran.

I moved.

And wherever I went they followed me.

And then another test: I took out my sword, and killed the red Bokoblin in one swing. His horse ran off. And the black Bokoblin?

There were arrows. He fired off a few arrows. In my general direction. But they seemed somehow half-hearted. And after a while he stopped all together. Might’ve been because he lost sight of me when I dashed away over the hill.

He did manage to kill a goat, though. But I ran in and stole the meat before he could get it.

But he didn’t seem to care.

After all, I was just another Bokoblin.

....

These masks were the best things in the UNIVERSE. X-)

The Worst of Bad Ideas

Waking of Friday, August 11, 2017 ~ 5

The Worst of Bad Ideas

I warped to Robbie’s place, and spoke with Cherry.

But I was still a few gears short—she wouldn’t be crafting me the Ancient Cuirass today.

Rats.

I went back outside. Full of the restlessness of the thwarted, I again regarded the large, cubic maze standing in the sea. The last (and only) time I’d tried to paraglide to it, I’d run out of stamina just before I got there.

I had more stamina now.

....

In a raging fit of stupid, I leapt for it again.

The wind was not on my side.

One, two, three, and four Guardian Flyers once again came into view as I neared, sweeping over the corridors like vultures. Did Guardian Stalkers roam the paths beneath?

There was the entrance, that solitary gap in the strange, monumental edifice.

I touched down near the lip with both altitude and stamina to spare.

Lomei Labyrinth Island it was called.

A Guardian Stalker crouched at the far end of the large, central court.

It wasn’t moving.

I consulted my map.

Only one pathway seemed to lead to the shrine at the back, the first pathway on the right off the central court.

I took a step—

And the monk of the Sheikah Shrine addressed me. His name was Tu Ka’Loh.

His treasure would be mine if I could find the end of the labyrinth.

And as his words ended, I realized the boundary of his foreboding welcome must also have been the boundary of that Guardian Stalker’s ken—for it lit up and started moving toward me, preceded by its needling laser....

I booked it to the right, found the hole, dashed in quick, turned around a corner, and hid, my heart’s blood in my eyes and my lungs running silent—where were those Flyers?

The Piano drew in close to me, plinking its unobtrusive G minor again.

I gazed at the blue crack of sky above me, waiting for one of them to pass, desperate to learn its pattern, and so evade it....

But if I sat here too long, would something else find me?

I looked at my map again. I could see the way to go. Maybe if I just made a run for it....

But as I turned corners, pressed myself into walls, wedged into alcoves and dead ends, my eyes combing the strips of sky above for deadly threats.... I found that the maze seemed to be emptier than I had thought.

Almost.

A few stray Keese and Flame Chuchus wandered here and there. But they posed little threat.

I had thought that, as my map seemed to indicate, some of the passages were only an intricate series of dead ends. But I soon discovered that they were more thoroughly interconnected than I could have imagined. Ladders led up to hidden chambers inside the walls, huge Magnesable blocks revealed further sprawling junctions.... I soon became quite lost, my only gauges of proximity to the shrine my Sheikah Slate and HUD.

Wandering in the northern reaches of the tangle, I soon turned off my shrine locator; the beeping combined with the towering entrapment of the maze was enough to make one mad. And the deceptive boundaries shown on my map eroded my resolve to follow the map at all. I began to chase down every avenue I could, running, turning, delving, trying, hitting dead ends, spilling into endless branches of corridors....

Actually I reminded myself something awful of Fleur Delacour in the fourth Harry Potter movie.

But I hadn’t quite lost my mind yet....

Eventually I did come to that topmost corridor on the map—the one that surely would lead me to the shrine—

It didn’t.

It was just a long hallway.

I could hear the Islander Hawks crying. But when I looked up, I only saw a Guardian Flyer sweeping over the top of the maze, the red light of its eye swiveling....

Seemed they couldn’t see all the way to the bottom where I was, though.

The mighty labyrinth walls were climbable, as it turned out.

The Flyers were only there to keep me from cheating.

For all the hidden passages there seemed to be, I could find no way to get to the western half of the labyrinth. I had dashed into that hole on the east, and east was where I had been. But was the way to the shrine in the western half of the island after all?

The only way I could see to get to the western side was to cross the central court. There was only one problem—and when I’d crossed into the maze, that problem had started patrolling around. The Guardian Stalker was still too big to enter the tight labyrinth passages. But it made the central space a very dangerous place to enter, or even to look in on. I’d passed by those doorways a few times, and every time the Guardian saw me, it would gleam hot red and the Piano would make a fuss before I got the heck outta there!

But I couldn’t be afraid forever.

And I needed to get to the western side of the labyrinth....

And—rare gifts I’d received, but never used—I did have four Ancient Arrows on me.

And I’d heard some hearsay lately.... One man I spoke to said he’d heard that an Ancient Arrow could take down a Guardian in one shot.

One shot?

I’d heard they were strong against Guardians, but.... Really?

Could it be true?

I could do it.

I just had to keep my cool.

Such a nervous thrill of dread as I stood around the corner of an entrance to the court, hearing the approaching tunk-tunk-tunk of its feet, watching its life-meter (1500) float across the screen—thanks, Champion’s Tunic.

I let it complete its pattern once more.... and then stepped out where it would see me on its next pass.... and waited.

It had wandered off northward, toward where the Shrine was. It would come back south along the west side before turning in my direction.... and it did.

A hot red glow. A rush from the Piano. The laser found my shirt. I zipped behind the corner again. But that didn’t quiet its intent approach.

I took another peek. So did the Guardian, with its laser. It was still coming my way as I again ducked behind the stone. It was quite a mossy old thing, now I took the time to look.

It came right up to the wall, right up to the entrance—dared I step where I could see its eye and try a few practice shots with normal—ITS LEG CAME THROUGH THE HOLE AND STARTED STEPPING AROUND NOPE—NOPE BACK UP—YUP—’KAY—THAT WAS A GOOD PRACTICE RUN—GONNA LET IT RESUME ITS PATTERN NOW.

I pulled back.

Good GRAVY I pulled back for a moment.

Okay.

Okay I just had to take care of business before it got that close again.

I could do this.

Hoooo....

It wandered back into its patrol, and I again stepped out from behind the corner. And again it turned to see me right on that parallel, dead ahead across the court. And again the Piano threw up the cry and the Guardian and I played a deadly game of peek-a-boo chicken with each other, I lingering so long on one look that it actually fired a blast into the hole where I was—I evaded the fireball.

And when it was close—but not too close—I stepped out for the last time and took aim with my bow and a plain, wooden arrow.

The Guardian glowed so bright magenta and angry, white-hot power whirring up in its casing as its laser found me.

It was close enough. I could hit that.

I let fly.

Khing!

That SOUND—that WINNING SOUND that lets you know you’ve struck somewhere tender!

And the Guardian lurched backward—its head swiveled as if to clear itself—found me again—glowed that angry red—

I let fly again.

Khing!

Another arrow to the eye! Another lurch, another stumble, another shaking and regaining itself—A shot to the eye could forestall the laser.

The Guardian locked onto me again.

And I let fly again.

Khing!

And that was enough practice.

The Guardian recovered, began to glow—

I nocked one of my four precious Ancient Arrows....

....and let fly.

And for some reason the spectacle I remember most vividly was not the smashing, the glowing, the shattering, the breaking, the crumbling down, the hot glowing to explode—

It was the instantaneous, complete and utter darkening.... erasing.... EMPTYING of the life-meter.

I, with one Ancient Arrow, had slain a Guardian Stalker.

I cheered as I ran out to collect the spoils it had left behind—including three Ancient Gears! Still left me one short for the Cuirass, but what progress this was! I would have to come back here after the next Blood Moon!

The central court was now mine to cross freely, and I plunged into the west side of the maze. This side likewise had hidden passages and alcoves, all in a deucedly confusing tangle. But after a very long while, I came to a series of staircases that took me up, up, up to the chamber where the Shrine was. Tu Ka’Loh you dastardly....

There was no challenge inside the shrine. Of course it was a Blessing Shrine.

I came up to the requisite chest, wondering if I’d have room in my inventory for whatever weapon this might be.

But it wasn’t a weapon this time.

It was a Barbarian Helm.

A menacing, bleach-bone skull over the crown; long, cruel, curving horns on either side; and a wicked mane of wily red hair down the back.

I might have accidentally glimpsed something like this on the internet once....

But seeing it now, taking my time to take it all in from every angle....

It was AWESOME.  >u<

Well, new clothes meant only one thing: time to see a Fairy.

I went first to Mija, then to Kaysa, and each of them enhanced my new Barbarian Helm by one level. But after that I needed more materials.... materials I didn’t have time to collect at that moment because of how very late it was and how very tired I was getting.

But content that I had conquered the most daunting shrine on my map, and acquired a WICKED new hat.... I warped back to the shrine by the Tabantha Bridge Stable.... saved.... and quit.