Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

Waking of Friday, November 16, 2018 ~ 2

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

From the Maka Rah Shrine....

Tera. I went to Tera.

I had two Naydra hornshards now.... I could have upgraded my Champion’s Tunic.... if I wanted.

....

I DID. I UPGRADED THE CHAMPION’S TUNIC, and finding myself in possession of further required materials I KEPT UPGRADING UNTIL IT WAS AT ITS MAXIMUM LEVEL, WITH 32 DEFENSE! MORE THAN TWICE WHAT IT HAD BEEN AT BEFORE. AND I UPGRADED THE HYLIAN CLOTHES. AND THE ZORA AMOR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR SINCE I HAD SIXTEEN CORES NOW. AND THE DESERT VOE GEAR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR AGAIN BECAUSE ON THE NEXT AND FINAL UPGRADE EACH PIECE REQUIRED A STAR FRAGMENT AND TWO GIANT ANCIENT CORES. And well.... I just happened to have SEVEN GIANT ANCIENT CORES ON ME. And if I hadn’t been saving them for this.... then what?

UPGRADE ALL THE THINGS.

AND EVERYTHING HAD BEEN CAST TO THE BACK OF MY INVENTORY.

AND ALL MY FAVORITE CLOTHES WERE OFF THE FIRST PAGE.

AND EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF ORDER AND WOULD TAKE FOREVER TO MANEUVER BACK TO EVEN SOME SEMBLANCE OF ITS FORMER STRUCTURE BY FAIRY-ENHANCEMENTS ALONE.

IT WAS ALL OUT OF ORDER.

AND THEN.

I SORTED MY CLOSET.

SORTED SORTED. And it was done now. Couldn’t undo it.

It was done.

And that was all right.

Hoo. Andrea: 1, OCD: 0.

I went to Kakariko to test my maxed-out Guardian Armor, but stopped to talk to Impa on the way. I tried to get that orb in her house again, but no, not yet, she still wasn’t having it.

What happens when you bring it to the pedestal up the hill?

Hhhhh.

I guessed I wouldn’t find out today.

So out the back I went, onto the Sahasra Slope; and a sharp left turn and a hug along the cliffs brought me as always to my favorite monster to milk: the Pit Guardian.

Once I’d attracted its attention, and the terrifying Piano began ripping up the sky above my head in a panic.... I stood my ground, and waited. Facing it.

I let it hit me full on once, in my Ancient Armor. And the hit took off.... five or six hearts.

I’d seen Lynels take off more than that in a single hit.

Well that was cool! :D

My curiosity sated, I killed it.

And it gave me a Giant Ancient Core back. Part of the Ancient Proficiency perk? Maybe.

Ah, life was good.

Shortly thereafter I was distracted by a star fragment that fell into the central plains. I went to get it and came back via the Dueling Peaks Tower. I killed the other two Guardians near the Pit—and the freakin’ stalcreatures were out and making life difficult—but DANG the sound my glowing sword made when it killed was like THUNDER.

RESOUNDING.

POWERFUL.

MY GOSH.

Feeling brash and bold and amazingly confident in my armor and with my parrying skills and wielding the Master Sword, I worked my way back infield and onto the plains. I was going to go to the ranch! To see what was there.... Maybe another horse! Maybe another special horse!

I forgot the Guardians and whatever paltry bother they posed! I was comin’ up bold as brass! I killed the Guardians that spotted me! AND dodged those freakin’ pesky mounted Bokoblins!

That one Big Yigaman posed some problems; I was fighting with him when I again heard the Guardian music! I killed him quickly, and then faced the mechanical menace. It was hard and I took some blasts to the face, but I got him in the end....

NOW to the ranch....

But oh, wait.... my controller was in the red.

....

I could have used the Pro Controller.... David favors that one, and I’ve used it a few times.... like whenever my battery’s run low.... But.... Hm, maybe not against Guardians yet....

I set the WiiU Controller in its cradle, and.... dozed.... on the couch. It was late. But I didn’t wanna let it sit for more than an hour, or it would turn off.... dozed.... dozed....

And I SNIFFED AND SAT UP OH I WAS TIRED.

Ugh—

I couldn’t do the ranch right now.

I warped to Pepp’s. Slept and saved it. Went to bed.

That was enough.

Faron's Five-Cent Tour

Waking of Saturday, October 27, 2018 ~ 4

Faron’s Five-Cent Tour

I warped to the Shoda Sah Shrine in the rainy jungles of Faron, and went up the plateau. I’d seen it from the top of that mountain above the Twin Bridges.... the Lynel. Except it was a White Lynel now.

It had stood between me and the tower. I remembered....

I killed it. Awesomely. I don’t think I even got a scratch.

And I floated down a level to the next broad shelf, and found a Red Hinox.

I killed it, too.

Down another level and I ran into a nest of Lizalfos.

Killed ‘em.

And there, out from the edge of the next shelf downward.... was the crown of the Sheikah Tower. I could have floated over and it would have been a very short climb to the top, but....

I looked down.

An Electric Wizzrobe pranced around the tower’s base, and a cloud of Keese swarmed about its middling heights.

A few appeals to Ja Baij and they were all gone.

I sailed down and ran around the base for a little bit, scaring up what Koroks I could, before giving the tower a proper climb.

And the Faron Tower and local map were mine.

Cooool. I could see the places I’d been to—that pointy sandbar was called Cape Cresia, with a Soka Point at its tip.

All the Floria names were cool. I made my way north to a Keelay Plain—which was one of the very few places I’ve found that have gravel—enjoyed the foley—played some dangerous bog games looking for Koroks in Tobio’s Hollow, then up to the Jia Highlands and Angel Peak.

I was getting quite good at clearing out entire camps of Moblins and Bokoblins before they even knew I was there.

I remember paragliding in to the very last Bokoblin in my mask, his start of surprise and then friendly approach to come talk Bokoblin to me, and how I cut him down in two rapid strokes the instant he was close enough.

Didn’t even give him time to blink.

“I’m a heartless murderer,” I said to myself.

Of course, that very night was a Blood Moon and they all came straight back. In the high meadow I killed the stray Guardian one more time before getting out of there and paragliding all the way to Dueling Peaks Stable—I’d wanted to do that since I first climbed up to Misko’s Cache above the Twin Bridges. I was in roughly the same area....

But I couldn’t think of any business to see to at Dueling Peaks Stable, and I was getting tired, which meant.... it was another warping meander back to the Great Fairy Tera.

I upgraded a crapton of clothes.

And I considered....

I considered.... sorting.... for a while....

Sooorrrrt?

No.

Not cleaning my closet yet

GOOD NIGHT.

The Missing Moldugas

Evening of Wednesday, September 19, 2018

The Missing Moldugas

I opened my map and made ready to warp to the Misae Suma Shrine.... but I couldn’t.

Then I remembered. Pokki had been collapsed all over the pedestal. I hadn’t been able to activate the warp pad.

I’d have to get back there on my own power for now.

The shrine still showed up on my map, just yellow instead of blue. I guessed that was what visited but unactivated shrines looked like.

Well, Tera’s shrine seemed to be the next most convenient—not Tera’s, Hawa Koth! That was its name. I warped there, cleaned out all the Safflina, caught a sand seal and started out east.

Every great fairy I’d visited seemed to host a native abundance of.... something. For Cotera it was Blue Nightshade flowers and, very occasionally, fairies. Mija had.... I want to say some kind of root, like carrots. Kaysa.... I don’t remember what Kaysa had; her environ was so dry.... Even Malanya the Horse God had an abundance of butterflies of every kind. And Tera had safflina plants, in many varieties. Good ingredients for whipping up any number of different elixirs.

But I think the Silent Princess flower grew at every fairy fountain.

Now, augh, for SOME reason I forgot to jot this down in my original notes, but.... I think this might have been where it happened.... A likely time and place, anyway....

I couldn’t exactly beeline from the Hawa Koth Shrine at Tera’s to the Misae Suma Shrine where Pokki was stranded.... without passing straight through the Southern Oasis.

I think that this might have been when I decided to do just that.

Fye! Shoddy note-taking....

And I had killed the Arbiter’s Ground Molduga around the same time as well.

FYE!

I sand-sealed toward the great rock until I caught the music on the air, at which point I let the beast go and bade it Godspeed.

Taking my time, I softly circumnavigated the Molduga’s course, limiting my movements when it was near; this one ran a smaller circuit than that very first one I had encountered. In fact, that first one had run the largest circuit of any I had seen thus far. It certainly made each new encounter less daunting at any rate.

One by one I drew out the loitering Lizalfos to put them down before dealing with the main threat. And then.... I attracted the monster’s attention.

Just like at the Arbiter’s Ground, now, I could do this....

I was still short on Bomb Arrows. But.... Well, frankly I had been just a little bit inspired by a certain video I’d seen of someone leading a Guardian Stalker out into the desert to duke it out with a Molduga. That person had been all right handling the Molduga on the ground....

I could do it too.... I’d already done it!

I still tried to keep some distance from it, though, drawing it out of the sand with normal arrows or bombs. And when I’d stunned it, I moved in right up against its great blubbery bulk, and it was melee all the way—which turned out to be faster work than it had been with arrows....

When the Molduga recovered it would thrash and twist round in a huge circle, flicking me high into the air with its huge tail, before burrowing back down into the sand. It sent me cartwheeling head over heels and took some hearts off, but.... it was a licking I could take for the present. My paraglider always caught me.

It only really became complicated when the two of us, ringing round the oasis, chanced upon a Lizalfos I had missed.

It’s.... tricky, to beat back an harrassing Lizalfos when the ground beneath you both is heaving uncontrollably, and could explode at any moment.

But it would be a lie to say it didn’t feel epic.

Turning from my main target I put the Lialfos down in a fury to give me some peace!

Well, relative peace.

But after that it was just a few more meaty exchanges on the ground before the mighty Molduga keeled over and gave up the ghost.

I’d beaten it on the ground. In the sand. In its own element.

At last I could explore this Southern Oasis! Perhaps the top held some kind of shrine-puzzle? I climbed up in the light of the falling sun, checking for Koroks everywhere....

The top was fairly level, with a little oblong depression in the middle where water sprang. A few fruit-bearing palm trees stood about, and there were a few more useful plants.... There were also a few boxes, and an unlit wok. Who had been here before?

After looting a treasure chest I found buried in the dirt, I couldn’t find anything else to do, except.... just enjoy the quiet up here.

Surely there had to be a SHRINE or something? The place was too far out of the way!

But I only walked around, cooked a few meals, explored the placid top of the rock, and enjoyed the quiet.

Until the Blood Moon rose that very night and spawned another Molduga, along with that confounded cello ensemble which I liked VERY MUCH, but which had QUITE overstayed its welcome at this point.

I chucked Bombs at the brute until it was mostly dead, whereupon I sailed down and finally put it out of my misery.

Of course the Lizalfos were always up for another round of sword-tag....

No rest for the weary....

I wondered if I’d missed an opportunity before that Blood Moon. I wondered what might happen at the Southern Oasis.... if I first dispatched all the Moldugas....

I was definitely going to come back here later.

Only those who have walked through the desert

Evening of Monday, September 10, 2018

Only those who have walked through the desert

I warped to the Gerudo Great Skeleton in the corner, ran into the farthest storm, and started walkin’ east. Time to continue my circumnavigation of the map.

It was about noon when I started, and I walked for a long, long way.

But the Lizalfos kept me company.

I was getting better at wardrobe changes in the desert, and so was ready with my Ruby Circlet when night fell. But when the Electric Keese started to come out—where do they roost anyway?—I opted instead for a Warm Doublet and.... the Thunder Helm. It was SO NICE to fight them with the Thunder Helm on! No shocking! Even with metal weapons! 8D

Ahh, never again would I need face their incapacitating overreach in the rain.

I kept running, bumping into the southern boundary with my right shoulder time and again. Occasionally I would venture a few steps to the north if I saw some Hydromelons or a Voltfruit cactus.... and then it was back into the blur, the grit flying in an endless storm.

The desert was vast.

Once I inadvertently stepped into.... a laughing tambourine? And the cellos started up and taunted me to come out, and the name Arbiter’s Ground Molduga appeared at the top of my screen, along with a life-meter.

Arbiter’s Ground?

How interesting....

It was another name from another game. Another reference. Like Spectacle Rock. Or the more obvious Death Mountain—that one’s in a lot of games. But those were geologic features, and not so fleeting as any man-made structures.

Like the Arbiter’s Ground....

I am very fond of Twilight Princess. I was curious to investigate any reference to it, but.... No, I would come back to it later. I was busy combing the nether edges of my map.... in search of.... I was there because....

Well I just wanted to do it.

Soon after I stepped out of the Molduga’s song, however, a new sound came to my ears—the brreep-brreeping of my shrine-detector. And that did warrant a detour!

I turned north, and came out of the swirling limbo and into a brilliant, bright white world of glaring sky. I’d been in the murk so long; the difference was jarring.

Away in the dunes to the north I could see a single, large, solitary rock. One guess where the shrine was.

I followed the signal nonetheless, and was unsurprised when it took me straight toward the formation. I wondered if this was the shrine I had heard when the Chief and I had been sand-sealing after Vah Naboris.... I thought I’d even caught a glimpse of it then....

I climbed up on top of the rock and swept for Koroks before I found the familiar orange glow on the far side. The Misae Suma Shrine. But when I floated down.... I found there was a Gerudo collapsed against the activation pedestal.

What the....? Was that Barta? But this one wore green.... I didn’t remember Barta wearing that color....

It was....

Pokki!

I’d been looking everywhere for her!

She was exhausted under the hot sun, and she croaked that if this were the end.... then before she went, she just wanted a taste, just a sip.... of a NOBLE PURSUIT.

This gave me something of a dilemma.

See, Pokki’s name always made me think of Pocky. I do enjoy Pocky. And somebody must’ve let it slip to my Mom because she’d given me a large box of it for my birthday. And now I was down to the very last packet. And I’d been saving that packet.... for whenever I happened to find the missing Pokki.

And I’d just found her.

But it was late. It was nearly bedtime. I didn’t want to go to bed with a whole packet of Pocky just sitting in my gut like a stone all night.

So....

I left her there. Still begging for a Noble Pursuit in all her heat-stroke delirium. Very unlike me....

And I ran back down into the farthest storm and continued eastward.

I would save the Pocky for the time when I rescued her instead.

Soon, Pokki.... Soon....

I kept going east until I came to a sheer cliff face—the drop-off at the west end of the Devil’s Own Highway. I attempted to climb it, but.... it was too tall and I didn’t have the stamina.

I could no longer circumnavigate the map from here.

....

But.... that had never really been my immediate intention....

For now.... I decided to suffice myself with the desert. For there was plenty I had not seen of its deeper interior.

And so I bent my course to the north. I didn’t venture into the mountains but stayed down on the sand, skirting curious and tempting features on my map like that large, straight-edged rectangular structure, and of course those monumental statues of the Seven Heroines, whose grandeur I had thus far only witnessed in the topo.

However I was already fairly well acquainted with the desert’s northern edge, and its forests of stone pillars. And so halfway to it, I left the anchoring foothills, and plunged back westward into the trackless ocean of grit.

I passed through strange, flat scapes of small, isolated stonework ruins, the lot of them jutting from the sand like a pox. I found the sandy dell where my sand seal and I had won the race, and for kicks I rolled Bombs down into the Lizalfos camp. And I scaled every surprising island rock I found breaching the sand for air. The Koroks did not come out easily.

Every so often I gazed into the south at the enormous, palm-capped rock that had to be the Southern Oasis. I’d been giving it a wide berth; there was a Molduga down there, and I was short on Bomb Arrows. Soon.

After a very long time, mostly via the sand seal track at the end, I managed to walk all the way back to the lookout tower, and thence back to Gerudo Town.

I had walked through the desert.

And it was vast.

But does vastness retain its vastness once it is known?

Hm.

At any rate I felt undaunted enough to continue westward further still! I did make a stop at my favorite specialty arrow stall first, but.... Bomb Arrows were so expensive. And I was still short on cash. I couldn’t go Molduga hunting just now.

Unfazed, I continued nonetheless into the desert’s northwestern regions, with which I was not quite so familiar. There were many giant bones, and a lot more rock. Great place for an ambush, I thought in Scott McNeil’s voice.

I made it all the way up to that shrine beneath the ribcage, and this time, with my stronger clothes, I was able to climb up on top of the spine! And as I’d suspected there was a Korok.

The Koroks weren’t so shy out in the west. In fact they were fairly obvious, one of them perched at the top of a ribcage angled so high out of the ground that it could be seen for miles all around. There were also absolute treasure troves of Swift Violets to collect! Albeit along rock formations crawling with Lizalfos. But that didn’t pose too much of a hassle.

When I had ventured to the edge, and had my absolute fill of climbing around in the western sand storm, picking violets from high walls, turning over treasure chests, scaring up the odd Korok, and fending off Electric Lizalfos.... I hoofed it back to the ribcage shrine, captured a sand seal, and sailed back to Tera’s spring.

With all the Swift Violets I had collected, I was able to have her do up my Sand Boots another level, which was a welcome enhancement in this environment. However this also required me to part with four of my five precious remaining Molduga guts. I’d need to go hunting again soon.

That Molduga at the Southern Oasis....

All in good time.

I’ll get you later!

I warped back to the woods, settled Link down in Pepp’s bed at a decent evening hour for once.... and went to bed myself.

A Game More Dangerous

Evening of Tuesday, September 4, 2018 ~ 3

A Game More Dangerous

I touched down on the warp pad of the Ishto Soh Shrine, and was met with the buzzing sound of hundreds of flies.

I’d forgotten how much garbage Moza had piled up here.

But I dashed past it all and peered down into the Lynels’ Corridor! I had plans to try out my new toy.... On went the Lynel Mask and Link once again adopted a beefy, stoic stance. X-)

The canyon floor was too far distant for me to make out any creatures prowling along it, and so I relied on the skull stamp I had placed on my map—that was where the southern Lynel would be.

I floated down—there it was—and circled wide, landing some distance further south. Somewhat far away but not too far away.... but pretty far away....

The Lynel still stepped so grandly and paused so ponderously and roared.

And then it turned and SAW ME. FROM FAR AWAY.

We stared at each other. Usually when a bad guy sees its respective mask it starts walking toward you. But neither of us moved. We just stared. For a moment.

And then the Lynel circled round in a canter, faced my way again and nocked a Shock Arrow.

Nope! It was Ishto Soh for me again! I warped the heck outta there! :D

So wow, the mask really didn’t fool the Lynel for very long....

Well they were powerful creatures of many abilities.

But still....

I wanted to try again.

So I ran and jumped and floated down to the left this time, northward toward the mid-Lynel near the base of the Talus’ butte. I spied him as he walked among the baobabs....

With a crunch and a rush I hit the ground running through the long yellow grass. I wanted to get close this time....

It was a White-Maned Lynel, and when he saw my fast approach, he turned to face me, and stood his ground.

I just kept running. If things went south I could always just warp back to Ishto Soh....

The Lynel stood still until I had run right up in front of him, and could physically no longer move forward for his person. He had only looked at me the whole time. The way his head just dropped at the end.... looking down at me....

I was a tiny creature.

We looked at each other only briefly before I walked round to his left flank to see if there was a get on option. There wasn’t. Those zebra stripes. Broad tapers. So high over my head, the body so tall, so BIG. Thick, muscular legs, feathered hooves....

The Lynel turned as well; he wasn’t having me behind him. And we faced each other once more, staring just a bit longer. I was on the north, facing south now. The long south reaches of the Lynels’ Corridor stretched away into the distance behind my.... companion. The baobabs stood in the yellow grass. The Gerudo Highlands glowed bright ruddyrust in the daylight away to my right, the shade of the Zokassa Ridge cooling to my almost immediate left.

At precisely the same moment, I threw the game into a semi-pause by toggling toward the Stasis function, and the White Lynel reached behind his enormous back and fwipped out his gigantic spear.

Oh my.  ._.

I was able to Stasis him and get in a few hits.... But that charm works only briefly on living things, and briefer still on powerful ones.

I could have warped away, but....

Well I did need Lynel bits.... and I was here, wasn’t I?

I stayed.

I stayed, and stood, and fought. And remembering the Shock Arrows this one had pelted me with before, I tried the Thunder Helm for a spell. But apparently the Lynel only resorted to those at a distance, and no range I could give him on the ground would suffice—the ill-defending helmet was not helping. And so I switched to something more justifiable. Real armor. My strongest clothes.

Stasis could only help me so much between rechargings, but I employed it as best I could, capitalizing on every chance to land a Bomb Arrow right between the brute’s eyes. Head-shots dealt double the damage, or so I’d heard and witnessed elsewhere.

This one didn’t stun like the lesser foes did, though. Any Bokoblin would have been bowled over backward with a shriek, and not regained itself for precious seconds....

But a Lynel....

I don’t think he ever even had to shift his footing.

Then again he did have four of them. A leg at each corner. Huh!

I was a mouse to him.

Well the mouse could still bite!

More than once, more than thrice, more times than I counted, really, he sent me flying and tumbling and rolling across the grass with a groan—Get up get up get up, Link!—And I found myself chewing through my stocks at a vigorous pace!

But I gave him his own headaches in return—a Bomb Arrow could slow down a galloping charge! Even if I had to take a bit of it myself at close range—he moved so fast....

It became inescapably dicey however whenever HE BLEW FIRE FROM HIS MOUTH AT ME. The fireballs were broad, far-reaching and enormous, and they set the grass alight all over. Remembering the Big Yiga Clansmen, I used the flames more than once to slip away into the air, a bit singed nevertheless. The Lynel watched me with patient, hungry eyes in one such maneuver as I glided over him, released a Bomb.... and then detonated too early.

Well, that happened sometimes. Good thing nobody else was in the room.

The fire kept coming. I never had the thought of a linear retreat, but rather circled round him in evasion as he kept blowing and blowing and BLOWING! It was deadly and dangerous!—And the best opportunity to get close enough for a strike.

I pulled weapon after weapon from hammerspace as my blades gave their all and shattered in glory. Daruk had leant me three good helping hands that had evaporated pretty early on. And Mipha saved me from the brink before she too had to withdraw her power for a time whose end I would not see in this fight.

But when that monster hit me, ripped me, shredded me so hard that I saw that gleaming little winged orb come swirling up out of my pockets to my aid—

THAT WAS A FAIRY YOU JERK! DON’T YOU KNOW HOW RARE THOSE ARE?

I’d had enough!

I spared no provisions in maintaining my health from then on, and GAVE NO QUARTER in hammering my foe! I did not relent until his mighty, immovable hooves finally gave out from beneath him, and his proud knees sank at last into the ground below his bowing head, wild with mane and horn, heavy with defeat and death.

His carcass was mine.

When I’d pocketed his remains, I looked around at the aftermath of the encounter.

....It was ugly.

The grass was scorched black in great hatching swaths, or shorn clean away in places by blade or hoof. What a ruin. We’d all but burned the whole valley down.

....

It did feel kind of epic, though.

I visited Tera once more in the chill of the desert night to do up my Radiant Gear. The tights were already at level two, but with the shirt and mask enhanced to that level as well....  surely there would be a perk.... I was pretty sure.... it had to be....

IT WAS A DISGUISE I KNEW IT. AND MY ATTACK POWER WITH BONE WEAPONS WAS UP BUT THIS SUIT WAS NOW A DISGUISE I COULD USE TO WALK AMONG STALCREATURES UNDETECTED. I KNEW IT.

AUGH BUT IT WAS TOO COLD TO WEAR OUT HERE IN THE DESERT.

SOON.

I warped to the Deku Tree’s Navel in the three o’clock hour of the morning.... and slept until noon.

GOOD NIGHT.

From: Andrea

To: David

2018-09-04 11:43p

By the way I killed a White Lynel

tonight. On foot. It was ugly. The

whole valley burned down.

From: Andrea

To: David

2018-09-04 11:43p

Love you good night. <3

The Eldest Fairy

Waking of Saturday, August 4, 2018

The Eldest Fairy

I warped back to Outskirt once again to hit up Trott.

Plus three hundred rupees.

Then to Goron City to see if Ramella had changed her mind, but she still wanted Sapphires.

No way.

From there I warped.... to Gut Check Rock. Perhaps there wasn’t a plethora of rupees this way, but being on the volcano had reminded me....

The last time I had crossed the Deplian Badlands, my shrine-detector had not been active. I wanted to comb the north skirt of the volcano again—I thought there MUST be another shrine somewhere that I had missed! For it was a difficult area to get to, and bordered only by the shrines at Gut Check rock far to the east, and the dark Thyphlo Ruins far to the west—and that shrine wasn’t even worth warping to for the dark way you would have to make out of the maze and over the bog! Dang you, Ketoh Wawai, what were you thinking?

I started westward from Gut Check Rock and climbed up and down all over the mountainside. I killed overly-ready supplies of baddies and collected tons of loot; I got a great pictograph of the Eldin Great Skeleton for those chumps at that Akkala Stable; I nicked off two shards of Dinraal’s horn! didn’t play with the Lynels, though, nope—but still.... I could not find another shrine.

Deplian Badlands.... Too bad even for any Sheikah monks?

....!

Hm. Only now do I consider how the cliff descends into the northern chasm.

I wonder what’s down there....

Although.... doesn’t my sensor detect in lateral directions just the same despite any differences in altitude? Surely I would have heard something already.... Though I’ve never put that to a rigorous test....

As I meandered back to Goron City on foot, I was at least grateful for one thing—there had been a HECKTON of rare ore deposits on the north side of the mountain. And with my new supply of baddie-bits I went to visit Tanko again and sold him a bunch of stuff, and even some Topaz.

That kicked me over ten thousand.

Okay.... hoo.

I warped back to the Gerudo Great Skeleton, and the Great Fairy Tera’s cocoon.

“I got the stuff,” I said, “....This has not been easy.”

I held it out....

The way they always grab the money from you—and just like that—

My hard-sought ten thousand rupees disappeared.

I was poor again, in goods and money.

It was the thinnest I’d felt in a while.

The Great Fairy was rejuvenated, and her cocoon pulsated and opened into a white flower with pink-orange speckles!

And up came Tera AND HER HAIR WAS SO BIG it just wouldn’t STOP—VICTORIAN—WHAT A POMPADOUR! White hair, looming in a HUGE and luscious poof to lean into a dip on her right side—and she had bigger fairy-fin ornaments behind her ears than I had seen on any of her sisters! <3

She was decadent.

She gave a watery cough before properly introducing herself as the eldest of the Great Fairy Sisters. And she said that she had seen my efforts from within her bud.

Well that was heartening. :]

She said that she sees everything. In fact, she said, she was going to predict what I was thinking at that moment!

...

...

And after a moment she said, “I bet you’re probably thinking, ‘Can’t we just get to the part where she enhances my clothes?’”

Haaa lawl. |D

“What an impatient person,” she said. But she impressed that she really did appreciate what I had done for her. And she said that now.... she could enhance my clothes TO THE MAX.

But.... I’d noticed this pattern with the clothing enhancements. My wardrobe was becoming quite extensive, and whenever I took something to a Great Fairy for an enhancement, the item was returned to me waaaay at the back of my inventory. This made it a little difficult to keep the various sets near each other and together, but I was managing that pretty well.... mostly.

I had never employed the Sort button within those menus.... Not on purpose that I can recall anyway. But you know how it is when you accumulate so many messy piles—you know where everything is.... until you clean.

But this was getting to be a lot of messy piles....

Hrmmmrmm....

Maybe I’d try it.... I walked toward the shrine until I got an autosave, after which I entered my menus and sorted my clothes.

Heh, sounds like a chore I’d been neglecting.

I observed the results, which came in two orientations: one by body part.... and oh! one by sets! :) Well that was nice! Perhaps I could utilize that....

Oh I should just do it, I thought. Besides, Tera could work on seventeen of the forty-two items of clothing I had.... I may as well.... eh?

But.... I just.... couldn’t. Not yet.

I paused again, reloaded from just before I had sorted and kept my messy closet.

Mmmmm but to start I would let her enhance the Climber’s Bandana—that one wasn’t part of any set that I had....

It was already up to the third level, so this should have maxed it out then.

So I turned it over to Tera and she leaned in close and HER MOUTH WAS OPEN WIDE AND OH MY GOSH SHE JUST GRABBED ME IN HER GIANT FIST AND SNOODLED ME SO HARD AGAINST HER SWEETLOVING FACE AND THEN PLUNGED BACK DOWN INTO HER WATER INSIDE HER FLOWER WHAT—

Link’s scream so quickly faded away and the screen went black.

My mind instantly conjured up the deep blue, rippling, colorful world inside her home, and I wondered.... What would I see? Inside her flower?

But the screen only came back a moment later, above ground as ever.

When I came to, I was lying face down on the petally platform where would I normally speak to any Great Fairy.

I got up with a groan.

My Climber’s Bandana was enhanced.

“Want me to enhance any others?” she asked me in some such words of her own verbiage.

And I would have imagined the answer to be NOPE NO THANKS, THANKS BUT NO.

OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA EAT ME.

But.... I upgraded a bunch of clothes anyway. And those pieces ended up all out of order in my inventory but.... that was okay. I couldn’t complain with the results; they were so strong.

“Sometimes I’m so good it’s scary,” Tera said.

The Other Side of Limbo

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 5

The Other Side of Limbo

The sand storm raged until—

That chime.

And my feet trod for nothing.

You can’t go any farther.

I had reached the western edge of my map.

So I turned south.

The storm continued to rage all around me, blotting out sun and moon, the wind howling, the grit flying horizontal across my path. On and on and on I jogged through the murk, shouldering off to the right every once in a while just to make sure I was still on the border, still on the edge.

My Sheikah Slate had lost functionality again; it was impossible to tell how far I had gone or how far there was left to go. All I had to guide me was that bumping chime to my right side—not that it was too difficult to move in roughly a straight line.

It seemed to go on forever.... just wind and Stalmoblins and dust and more wind and a few lonely animals and more Stalizalfos and—“NOT THE KEESE, NOT THE KEESE!”

I ran whenever I saw them.

Well.... I ran whenever I saw anything. Or nothing.

I just ran.

Was it day or night? I couldn’t tell.

There was a shape to my left. Roundish, humping obtrusive out of the fuzzy horizon. What was this....?

I slowed, and edged closer....

It was a skull-den. And there was at least one tower flanking it, with a Bokoblin on top, keeping a weather eye on—its invisible surroundings.

And I think it’s only now that I’m reminded of the morning of Thursday, January 9, 2003. But that is another story.

I traced the Bokoblin’s obscured movements through the sand, and stayed just deep enough away in the storm that he did not see me as I circled round to the back of their camp.

They never guard the backs.

I shinnied up the rear of the skull, and crouched low before sniping the two lookouts. The wind and the desert devoured their remains and there was no reclaiming them. Tsch!

Thereafter I stood to drop bombs through one of the eye-holes. The wind made this tricky, but with a little trial and error I found a good position, and watched as the life-meters below me reacted, converged, and were blown in all directions, over and over again.... I played this game until they were all dead, and thankfully, the bits leftover were less blustered and more contained inside the den.

I didn’t have room for the actual treasure inside the chest, though.

Oh well.

I harvested what I could from the Limbo Den, and made my way back from nothing to nothing; I hit the border, and started skirting southward again.

The air was a shifting array of dull colors all mashing together, darker beneath, lighter above. Somewhat.

Thank goodness for these Sand Boots at least....

I jogged.... and jogged.... and jogged....

And there was another shape to my left.

This one was.... geologically improbable. A great dark bow loomed from some large mass on the right, and arced unsupported through the air to the left, pointing north.

That had to be—BUT FIRST—

I hurried. Further southward. More creatures, more critters, Lizalfos burrowing through the sand.... I bumped to the right again—the border was still there—and then came the same abrupt chime—and I was brought to a halt.

I had come to the farthest point.

I had reached the corner.

So had the Lizalfos.

I cut them down, and the leftover bits rolled away unreachable in the gale. I might have been able to grab a talon or something....

The big shape with the bowhead still loomed darker than the surrounding grit. I could have approached it from this new angle, but.... instead I followed the western edge of the world back north, until I was even with the bow again. And I stepped eastward out of the storm....

As the air cleared, the great skull came into view. The bow-shape resolved into the enormous upper jaw, the entirety of it from cranium to nose-tip longer and thinner and more streamlined than that of the other Leviathan had been, the one on the volcano. That one had been broader, heavier-looking, more armored, like some giant horny toad.

But this one looked a proper whale. And the entire skeleton was smooth and bleached, whereas the other had been so weathered and darkened that in places it looked more like stone.

And there was another difference—round about where the scapulae might be, the long bones of some right-side limb jutted up from the spine at a high angle—sticking right up into the sky!

What in the—?

Was this . . . .

Was this a WINDFISH?

The mouth was open, the lower jaw buried deep into the sand. And—there was something—

There was a Gerudo! Kneeling directly before the open mouth as if in prayer to a deity.... she was so tiny before it....

Who....?

I approached her.

It was Barta.

“Barta!” The one who had been imprisoned before!

“Ugh,” she groaned, “Are you... a fairy? An angel? Are you here to guide my passage?”

She wasn’t kneeling out of awe or respect; she was clinging onto her spear for dear life, resting in the shade of the bowheaded jaw. “...Everything’s going hazy... This might be the end...”

“Snap out of it!” I said.

But she only moaned, “Ahh... If only I could’ve eaten a hearty durian one last time... A hearty durian... A hearty durian...”

I spoke to her again.

“Ahh, spirits of the Goddess... Before you take me from this world, if I could just taste fruit... Just one last bite of a hearty durian...”

And here I was given two choices of response, and I laughed at the cruel polarity: “Take this!” or “Good-bye.”

“Take this!” I said, and the screen blacked out and back in.

Barta stood on her feet now. “Hah... I’ve returned from the brink of death thanks to you...” she gasped, “Sarqso!”

Then she saw me more clearly—“Huh? Is that you I spoke to before? So you are actually a voe... I thought you were a bit muscular for a Hylian vai.”

XD

“But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I owe you my life, after all!”

Ah, so many Gerudo ladies who’d found me out already. Felt kinda nice to be real.

“Hah... Anyway,” Barta continued, “I’m totally exhausted. Maybe I’ll rest just a little longer then head home.”

I was given only one response to say: “Your boss was MAD.” It was not untrue. Liana and her other subordinates.... had been quite agitated the last time I’d seen them in the barracks.

“Huh? So...they knew I snuck off...”

I nodded.

“...Oh, I am in such trouble...” Barta muttered under her breath. “Yep, looks like I’d better go on ahead. See you later and sav’orq!”

And the screen blacked out again, and when it came back, Barta had gone.

Is sav’orq another form of thanks? Or is it perhaps an expression of farewell? Someone else had said it to me when I’d turned down some business or other. But if that’s what it were, then Barta would have been repeating herself. Does it regard rather the time of day?

Hmm.

I hoped she wouldn’t catch it too bad from Liana. Then again, maybe that would have been good for her.

I turned to check out the skeleton—the shrine beneath it and near to the skull was called the Hawa Koth Shrine, and it was the awesomest shrine ever, with much electricity and GIANT GEARS to play with.... It was like the sparky younger cousin of Kaam Ya’Tak....

But that wasn’t what interested me the most.

After I’d locked down the warpable, I turned to the large, thrumming, pulsing cocoon a stone’s cast down-whale....

There was a FAIRY FOUNTAIN BENEATH THIS THING.

....

AND THE GREAT FAIRY TERA WANTED TEN THOUSAND RUPEES?

. . . .

Oh boy....

. . . . . . .

And I was.... just about skint-broke....

. .  .   .    .     .      .

I needed to go make me some cash.