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Breath of the Wild ~ a Log / CONTENTS [[+Artwork]]

Showing posts with label banana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label banana. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

The Value of Not Being Seen


Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 2


Clicking “Continue” from the Game Over screen respawned me back in the Hall of Heroines. I trekked back up the dark, narrow passageway to Barta’s cell....
There was still nothing I could do to help her. I did not rescue Barta.
But I did make it past the infamous pillar and on into the lower part of the passageway, where the next Yiga guard stood sentinel before the only doorway out.
He did not move.
When the circuitous patrolman’s back had been turned, I had paraglided down off the pillar, and landed behind a long pile of storage boxes in this lower part; there were a couple of them down here. But while they shielded me from the second guard’s gaze.... they did nothing to help me progress.
That guard wasn’t moving. He was just standing there so attentively.... How was I supposed to get past him?
It was a cruel joke that I could see a treasure chest across the way on the far side of the room. Yeah, right! This was too much. What could I—
....Bananas, Barta had said.
Hmph. There were bananas here and there throughout this terrible dungeon, but.... what could I do with those?
I looked to where the nearest bunch of them sat, on a shelf high off the floor, on the wall directly opposite the guard.
The single supporting strut beneath the shelf seemed very flimsily put together; it was almost as if it were made of two simple sticks, banded together to increase its length. The white wrapping in the middle of this shoddy construction looked as if.... it were secured by something extra.... like those little metal clasps used to tie off athletic bandaging....
Why it almost looked.... like an X.... Like a tiny.... little.... TARGET.
Well, that chamber back before had offered me a bow....
I shot the strut out from under the shelf. It collapsed, predictably enough, spilling the bananas to the floor.
And the Yiga—he gave the same human-sounding start I had heard the other give before, so low and mundane that it caught me off guard—and then he started tiptoeing his way toward the bananas on the floor—like as if he were afraid someone was gonna see him??—at each step emitting some stupid, careful little “houhp” that nearly threatened to make him sympathetic! Like as if he were being so SNEAKY or something???
He was distracted anyway. I ran for it.
I did not attempt to make the far treasure chest.
I just ran for it until I was safe around a corner.
There were strange rooms further in—some dead-ended stone corridor full of spikes—couldn’t go that way—and more furnished chambers full of Eastern architecture—er, Sheikah architecture—no, the Yiga version of it. Oh it was all rather similar anyway.
I once heard.... probably a cousin or something.... say the Japanese were rather fond of inserting themselves into their video games. I’ve seen it a few times, or what has looked like it.
....I enjoy it.
From there on in I reverted very tightly to my first and wonted way of letting Caution dictate all else. Big Yiga guards patrolled thickly about the constricted spaces. Everything was waiting, watching, crouching, hiding, hesitating, and timing. All my movements were supremely delicate and slow. Silent and threading half-calculatedly, half-madly through the holes left between their patrols. My arrows whizzed below shelves, knocking out supports and throwing out bait-bananas and luring in the great lumbering guardsmen who, for all the acrobatics and rapier-quick mystique suggested by their cohorts whom I had met in the field.... moved like land-bound seals and circus clowns. Always “hup-hup-hup”ing along until they reached the bananas I cast in their way, whereupon they would look around carefully, quickly pocket the fruit, and then sneak back to their original positions. Poor blackguards....
In a catwalk corridor above the largest chamber I was forcibly reminded of Donkey Kong when I caught sight of that pile of bananas at the far end. Sweet Hylia, that was a lotta bananas. Where did these guys get them all, anyway? Not in this desert....
And as I gazed down at the large chamber from all angles, thinking hard on how to proceed.... one of those ridiculous giant barrels—the kind you can hoist up over yourself and hide beneath—had the GALL to fall under my attention, sitting there so still and helpful and quiet and upright and perfect, offering itself as if I were insane enough to actually try to USE it! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. THE NERVE!
No, I was quite content, content as any mouse in a fox-den could be, up here on my completely separate level....
A handful of breathless skywalks on rickety rafters later, just for the sake of some treasure chests that ultimately would not affect the fate of the universe—I was able to displace the guard who protected the last room.
And down I floated—and away I dashed and hid, until his back was turned again.
The final chamber seemed a little more closed off and private than the others. There was a bed, and another loose Duplex Bow. And it somehow felt quieter in here....
There were more treasure chests too, stuck in the ground. I was a little afraid to Magnese them out, for the noise they would make, but I unearthed them all right with no problems. I don’t even remember what they contained.
Ha, but I think I know now what their purpose must have been....
Using Magnesis for the chests, I could see the Magnesability of one of the walls. And when I had checked and searched every corner and looted everything that wasn’t nailed down.... I swiveled the Magnesable wall on its central hinge, and proceeded through one of the two openings....

Thursday, October 5, 2017

One Last Hitch


Waking of Saturday, May 27, 2017 ~ 6


I pranced past the wolves again—you know, if you zap one with a Flame Rod, the rest’ll leave off sure enough but.... there won’t even be any cooked meat left—and down round the cliffside to the little wood with the pond.
And there in the pond was a large green cocoon.
I stepped up on the toadstool pedestal and addressed the being inside.
She was likewise afflicted by the lack of well-wishers and gift-offering devotees, but could have her powers restored if I gave her.... five hundred rupees.
Well. I was loaded enough for that. Chump change.
I handed it over—brought myself below six thousand again but no matter—and the Great Fairy’s cocoon blossomed and opened into a beautiful deep blue flower. (Cotera’s had been pink.) She burst from the large mystic pool in the center of the blossom, huge, gaudy, sparkling....
Her name was Mija and she was decked much as her sister Cotera had been, but in garb and jewelry of light lavender, rather than pearly white. And her hair matched: she sported an absolutely voluminous purple pompadour, which looked big enough for me to legitimately get lost in if she leaned over too far.

I just love the Great Fairies’ designs. X-)

She thanked me for restoring her power, and I set her loose on my wardrobe. One by one she upped the defense of my garments. Cotera had worked her magic by blowing over her palms at me, as though to dust me with mystic glitter. Mija simply kissed her forefinger and then gave me a cutesy loving tap that made me blush.... whether in embarrassment or patient disgust I couldn’t tell—WHO DESIGNED THESE ENCOUNTERS they’re so adorable.... though Mija’s elegantly painted fingernail looked big enough to scratch my face clean off....
She was able to modify all of my garments except for one—the Champion’s Tunic.
To fix it up, she needed a few Lizalfos horns, which I had; some other variety of monster-bits I don’t remember, which I also had; and—
I coughed.
Two shards of Farosh’s horn?
O.O
Well that.... would be an epic thing to collect! OuO!!!
But right now there was no more time for delays! It was time to head north!
It was time to find Robbie!
Down the sweeping mountainside I jogged, the seashore creeping in on my right side. I ran from wolves; I ignored Lizalfos. I had somewhere to be. Strange landmarks I had seen in my map passed in and out of view as the land leveled out just above sea level. The beach pressed close along the grassbound road, and I huffed beside the waves, both 10,000 Miles and Chariots of Fire ringing simultaneously through my head as I jogged through the yellow-grey grass....
There were road signs to the Akkala Ancient Tech Lab. I was getting close.
The land began to climb again, and off in some trees on the east side, a woman tried to flag me down.
Eh, I hadn’t practiced in a while....
She asked me something about Lord.... Lord.... Lord Somebody. Must’ve been some Yiga bigwig. Oh, how I was tempted to give the insulting response, but.... I thought to probe for information instead.
But the woman only fawned a bit more over this person and then....
(Ah, and the Piano always drips the same high chill down the back of your neck!)
I will take your life!” she hissed.
We fought.
I won.
“And I will take your bananas!” I answered.
And I did.
Further on there was yet another Stable! The East Akkala Stable. And there was a man there who sold hot buns for ten rupees apiece—each one granted an entire extra temporary stamina wheel.
I’ll have to remember that.
There was another man there, a soldier-looking type of fellow, who asked me if I had heard of Kilton.
! As a matter of fact I had! From that Chabi woman I met at the parade grounds. But she’d seemed so genuinely interested in the man....
But Soldier Fellow impressed upon me that this Kilton was some kind of menace, and that he was the source of many awful rumors and much disquiet. A general disturber of the peace.
He asked me, if I ever met Kilton, to very carefully note his appearance, so that I could describe it back to him in detail.
Eh.... I agreed.
Seems this Kilton is taken for good and ill.... I do wonder what all the fuss is about....
But I would not wonder now.
Robbie was right up the road. Just a little father!
I hoofed it up the hill!
I was so close!
I could see the outline of the laboratory! A giant telescope and great bits and shapes sticking out in all angles—

A red targeting laser needled onto my shirt.

The Piano turned wicked....

Cover. Run, I thought. Keep running.
But no, there was no cover in my course. Where was it coming from? Recalculation would take precious time....
I turned wildly—I had passed a large red rock jutting out of the earth to the right of the path.
The rusted Guardian had been right on the other side of it.
No one coming from the direction of the stable would have been able to see it.

That was dirty! D:

I ran back to regain the other side of the rock—the laser flickered—that high beeping
I didn’t make it in time.
The blast sent me rolling.
But I was still alive. Probably thanks to Mija’s very recent upgrades!
But only just. How many hearts did I have left, three? Four? Not enough to take another hit. I got back to my feet as the Guardian began to recharge its laser, and dashed back round the boulder to skid to a panting halt on the other side.
Three hulking Stalmoblins popped up out of the ground to keep me company.

Man.

The Piano turned a different flavor of wicked as I quickly reached into my pockets for something to eat; I rather wanted a few more hearts on my side before I dealt with these bozos....
Once they were dead the Piano left off and it was quiet. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I could still hear the Guardian swiveling its head around on the other side of the rock. Looking for me.
I climbed a bit onto the red stone—thank goodness it wasn’t too steep to stand on—and had a careful look.
The guardian seemed fixated on the road. Just swiveling back and forth, glowing a vigilant blue....
Huh.
Well, first I appealed to Ja Baij. Purah had upgraded my bombs after all. I decided to see what they could do.
I chucked one over the top of the rock. But I detonated it too soon and the Guardian took no damage. It was tricky without being able to see the shape of the ground on the other side.
I chucked another one, waited a little longer.... and detonated again.
The Guardian’s health went from 500 to 498.
It shot a blast at nothing and swiveled harder.

Well that wasn’t very encouraging.

I chucked a few bombs more, gnawing away at the Guardian for a while and making it blow up bits of earth near the path at every turn, but....
This was taking too long. I had to hit it with something harder.
I consulted my bows and equipped the strongest one, and readied my Shock Arrows. I had quite a few to spare.
And after a deep breath, I jumped forward, stood up tall on the top of the rock, drew back my bow and waited for its eye to turn my way.... If things went sour, I could just back up and fall back into cover....
But it never turned. It just kept swiveling at the road. Creeping thing....
I put the Shock Arrow away and loaded a regular one. Just to test it.
It tunked off the back of the Guardian’s head, and it turned to see me.
I shot its eye!
AND IT STUTTERED! Shaking and swiveling as though trying to clear itself, trying to reset!
I shot its eye again!
The damage was mounting up considerably faster!
I shot it again and again in the eye! Sometimes it swiveled too far to the side and I lost my target but.... I was patient.... I could wait....
Did any of my bows break? I don’t remember. But I had plenty of equipment with me....
And every time its eye turned my way I shot it again.
Its energy dropped farther, and farther again until.... with a whirring and a crackle of shattering light.... ITS SHELL BUCKLED AND IT EXPLODED!

I KILLED A GUARDIAN!

I KILLED A GUARDIAN!



HAHH.





Now . . . . I will know

. . . . whether GUARDIANS . . . .

RESURRECT AT BLOOD MOON.



The Akkala Ancient Tech Lab was waiting up the hill.
I followed the path just a little bit farther—more rusted Guardians glowered at me all around the house
They were dead.
Dang it, Robbie.
I approached the door, and let myself inside.
A pot-bellied.... machine of some kind, with a stylized, slit-eyed face and a mouth that looked like it could open, stood in the middle of the room.
“I... It’s...” it juddered in a hollow metallic voice. “An... It’s...”
What did that mean?
“What are you doing here?”
Two Sheikah stood behind me: a well-built woman of average height, and a tiny little old man wearing the strangest goggles.... Could that be....?

Monday, June 12, 2017

The Fool Cautious


Waking of Wednesday, March 29, 2017 ~ 3



A traveler stood on one of the nearest hilltops to my right.
I felt.... as if I could see right through him, but I went to speak to him anyway. I felt like I needed the practice....
He tried to sell me bananas. Twice.
I declined both times.
And either he took offense at that or he just plain hadn’t liked me all along, because he tried to kill me shortly thereafter. But I killed him first, and then I took his bananas anyway. And his rupees!
Nice of the Goron traveling likewise north along the road to stop and just kind of look on while I crossed blades with a murderous assassin. I suppose it was either a nod of confidence to my strength.... or a supreme display of apathy.
Well.... I guess stopping and staying was a step up from the flailing retreat I’ve seen most self-respecting Hylians take.
Anyway I don’t know the Gorons’ ways.
Yiga! YOU KEEP COMING FOR ME I WILL GO FULL CURARE ALL OVER YOUR
Hhhhh....
I had a Zora to find.
But she wasn’t anywhere.
It started to rain, and I pressed on until I came to a bridge. I was off my map now. I ventured out onto the planks, but couldn’t really see anything through the haze. Except another octorok a little downstream. I dropped a bomb into the water and dodged his shots while I waited for it to float closer to him—did you know octoroks have the mind to lead their targets? And quite skillfully at that.
How interesting, I thought, and then blew him up.
I kept moving.
A little further along the road, I came across a young woman running through the rain. “I have the worst luck...” I heard her mutter.
Well, everybody gets caught in the rain some time, I thought.
But that wasn’t what she was running from—a black bokoblin was chasing after her.
I ran in and killed the thing, and the girl stopped. She had brown hair, and she wore a pink tunic and a timid, weary kind of posture, a little hunched and bowed beneath the downpour.
I didn’t speak to her, but only followed after her as she started to run up the road again. Pulling back from my full jog, I kept pace by her side; I would at least escort her until she reached.... whatever orange glow that was that I had seen in the distance. Flickering and indefinite, far ahead behind some trees.... maybe a fire’s glare.... Another house like Doctor Calip’s, perhaps? Maybe that’s where this girl was headed....
And then as we neared, and it came looming out of the gloom with its gentle flute and soft guitar, I saw the mighty horse’s head.
It was a stable.
And on the other side of the road, off to the left by the river, standing beneath a large tree was....

Mister Hestu??
8D

Sunday, April 23, 2017

This is why all Heroes are called Fools


Waking of Saturday, MARCH FOURTH, 2017 ~ 14



The rain slicked over my Hylian Hood.
Brokka [Toma] and I walked on, soaked, our horses’ hooves endlessly clopping, clopping, clopping over the dirt and slush.
There was so much we were passing by, so much that.... I would have wanted to explore. But I somehow felt safer in Brokka’s company. Safer in the footsteps of a sprite for which the game must always have an escape, surely....
As we passed by some towering cliffs on the other side of a wide river to our right—the Cliffs of Quince, beneath which some bokoblins capered about their campfire—I saw a woman sobbing by the side of the road.
Brokka didn’t stop.
I paused.
Brokka kept going. I didn’t want to lose her.
But who was this crying woman?
This didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel right at all.
Surely this woman needed help.
But I wanted to stick together with Brokka.
What if this was a trap?
Brokka moved further and further ahead through the rain, without me.

Two Roads Diverged.

“All right Brown stay here,” I murmured, and dismounted. I wanted to make this quick.
But the woman had no name.
She was only a Traveler.
Uh-oh....
She was crying because she wanted some salmon.
“And.... and also....” she stuttered.

The life of the Hero!

She transformed just the same, into the lithe and lanky thing, reddish, quick, deadly.
Well I’d taken the scythe of the last one—and his bananas and his rupees!—and we fought blade against blade.
Or was this where my Eight Fold Blade finally wore out and shattered?
I don’t remember....
I defeated her. And took her scythe and bananas and the rupees she dropped.
The bananas were from somewhere called Faron.
I wondered if that’s where this Yiga Clan was based....
I climbed back on Brown and raced ahead to find Brokka again.