Urbosa's Fury

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 6

Urbosa’s Fury

The quiet was exquisite.

It was broken by footsteps.

The spirit of Urbosa walked down the steps of an inner strut, coming toward me as if from that same exterior deck where we had met one hundred years ago.

I liked her. How straightforward she was. How sensible and matter-of-fact.

How could a spirit like hers ever be confined or burdened down....?

Unless.... as indicated by his many physiques.... Calamity Ganon really had....

. . . .

Done to them what he did to the Guardians.

“This is just the way things had to happen, and no one is to blame,” Urbosa said, “Tell the Princess not to worry.”

Gosh I liked her. She was so strong. So sure. Straightforward.

And when she assured me that Vah Naboris was once again under proper control—when she said Vah Naboris, she flipped her R.

There was something.... awesome, about that. It didn’t feel out of place. Especially considering the different words the Gerudo used for things anyway. Very possibly a whole other language they spoke only among themselves.

The accent was striking. Charming. And her switching to and from it so easily intimated a special kind of intelligence.

I had never thought to be picking favorites among the Champions. And certainly not someone so mundane as a Gerudo. Really, what was so sensational about overly tall women who were basically the same as myself, just with rounder ears and a longer nose? And a few heads more in height?

They couldn’t spear through the waters or fly through the skies or punch through rocks and walk through hot lava unscathed.

They weren’t cool.

. . . .

But Urbosa was.

Gosh I liked her.

Mm, but I could never see myself picking favorites....

. . . .

She imparted a few more words to me before bestowing upon me a gift she said I would have use for—Urbosa’s Fury.

This was different as well. The Champions always parted their blessings to me with great will and flair. And so Urbosa did just now. But this time, as the sphere of empowering light connected with my chest . . . . I only regarded it with a solid expression—maybe gave one meaningful blink through a deep nasal inhale. I was not thrust into a closed-eyed, overpowering serenity. My feet did not leave the ground. Urbosa had demonstrated the motion, and now, I only mirrored it right back—

In a swirling rush forward, stepping strong four-to-fives, I threw out one hand and snapped my fingers and—

WHAT THE LIGHTNING??? WITH A SNAP OF MY OWN FINGERS WHAT?????

It came down in a cacophany all around me, multiple strikes like an aura of DEATH in a dangerous radius from my person!

OH MY GOSH!!! 8D

I just had to hold down my melee-strike button as if for a spin-attack—a mad Kaitengiri with THOSE FOUR-TO-FIVES and—Krak-ka-BOOOOMMmm—

Oh my gosh, this was too awesome.... X-)

Mipha and Daruk had been there to get me out of trouble but this....

This was for aimin’ to misbehave.

And after only a few more words spoken, it was time for me to leave the Divine Beast, and I teleported away in the same shimmering white light like gleaming snowflakes floating up into the sky....

And Urbosa led Vah Naboris TO....

Spectacle Rock I CALLED IT.

“Nabooru, legend of the Gerudo and revered for generations, for whom you were named, Vah Naboris...” Urbosa went on in some such words as she led the Divine Beast.

She was proud of her people, and rightly so—they were strong, and descended from powerful heroines.

But Urbosa had a vendetta.

Beneath her cool collectedness you could feel it. Something seething just beneath the surface.... something you didn’t wanna mess with.... something you didn’t wanna touch.

“It is said that Calamity Ganon once adopted the form of a Gerudo.” Her eyes hardened. “I relish the chance to make this personal.”

Again hinting that to be something she didn’t normally do.... The indignation felt righteous, and appropriately waited for.... Gosh I liked her....

“I’ve been waiting so long for the time when Link would finally rush Hyrule Castle.... and for the time I could blast Calamity Ganon to ashes....”

Vah Naboris’ six-eyed face locked on to the distant castle; part of it opened up and two rods extended to emanate the giant, focusing red beam, which shot out and blazed against the writhing, swirling Calamity....

“That moment,” Urbosa savored the thought as she stood atop the Divine Beast in the red, red sun, “will be so delicious.”

Divine Beast Vah Naboris

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 4

Divine Beast Vah Naboris

I stood on a belly-level deck of the Divine Beast Vah Naboris. The world moved and spun dizzyingly all around me far below as the gigantic legs turned and worked.

The ride was surprisingly smooth.

“Well, well, well,” said Urbosa’s voice.

What did she go on to say....?

Much the same as the other Champions had said, I think, though her tone was definitely her own.

I liked her. She always felt so straightforward and honest. Fierce but peaceable. No nonsense. She let nothing burden her, and focused on what needed to be done.

And the first thing that needed to be done was for me to download that map....

The Inside of Vah Naboris was largely cylindrical—and it came with its own share of Malicious Eyeballs and a few minor Guardian Crawlies.... which I dispatched.

But this Beast....

Vah Naboris seemed to have the most moving parts of any Divine Beast I had yet encountered. The barrel inside of its main body was comprised of three rotating drums, and depending on how I aligned these, the inner struts and ramps and platforms would allow me to access different portals to exterior decks—or the main control unit, mounted in the center drum. So this was where it would all go down....

And then there was the circuitry—each drum had a single, large, front-to-back conductive strip that could be rotated to top, bottom, starboard, or port. And when these were properly aligned, they transferred power to different areas of the Beast, setting further components into motion!

But there was more that was different here....

The music felt backward this time.

In Vah Ruta and Vah Rudania, when I had started out, the music had been open, up for grabs, awaiting possibilities. But here....

The Piano seemed.... malcontent. The underchords floated around, dizzy and obscure, bemoaning awful things I’m sure, but the Piano, just—it would just pound every once in a while.

Like it was angry at me.

Like it didn’t want me to be there.

Like something.... didn’t want me to be there.

And instead of the soft and open music catching on to my presence and growing darker and faster and more threatening over time.... here the music started out in BLATANT threat, and as I located and activated terminals.... a sound stronger and more organized seemed to commandeer the air—

The Champion Urbosa and I were going to take back this Divine Beast. And Ganon knew it. How we strove together in such terrific concert! But terminal after terminal, that HOPEFUL DORIAN GLOWING permeated deeper throughout the soundtrack, wrapping it up, encompassing it, and sounding to the universe and fate that Good was here, and it was able.

Well, able enough.

Though there were some segments of Vah Naboris that still boggled me right out of my head—not the least of which was that danged treasure chest hanging off the tippity-tip of Vah Naboris’ TAIL. By a ROPE.

I would not be able to sever the rope and Magnese the chest in time. I had tried on too many other objects. Magnesis was not fast.

Even the upward-position of Vah Naboris’ caboose didn’t bring the chest in close enough laterally to land on a deck should I sever its rope.

Where the chest was connected seemed to be an enormous hinge. Maybe if I Stasised the chest and then moved the caboose....

No good. The rope snapped and the chest fell into sandy oblivion.

You bet your Sweet Canadian Mullets I reloaded. Forgive me, dear Korok Leaf that I had to put down! For it vanished on the reload.

Maybe if I moved the caboose in the opposite direction, it could catch the chest from beneath when the Stasis let go....

Nope—it just pushed it down and away toward its doom.

Dang it!

What the heck kinda camel has a detachable caboose anyway? I haven’t seen one of those since.... the Opus and Bill cartoon. What was that even....?

I ran back upstairs so many times trying to get that chest—I am sure I walked in places I was never meant to walk.

David thought I was crazy when I would stand at the back of the caboose, manipulate the circuits to make it swing upward, and then step over the farthest edge as it rose to meet me.

It was terrifying when I would misstep coming out of a paraglide, and plummet suddenly toward the sand three hundred feet below. And how Vah Naboris kept walking! But the furthest reaches of its exterior structuring were blessedly free of the wind of its movements. My many jumps surely should not have been possible. But with a wreck of pounding in my chest I always managed to glide back toward a lower deck.... and try again.

In the end the chest solution was easier than I’d thought—like so many things. I grazed the rope’s base with the corona of a Fire Arrow. And as the rope burned, I clutched onto the chest with a vindictive Magnesis!

And all my Foolish persistence was worth it—the chest contained an Ancient Core.

Ah.... Happy Day.

That chest was the last thing I cleaned up. I had already activated all the terminals, Urbosa’s voice guiding me onward in strength and encouragement; she knew I was ready to proceed.... But I just hadn’t wanted to move forward without picking up every last thing....

But now that Vah Naboris had been completely cleaned out—I’d even found a few sweet mushrooms in deep storage up in its back; that was nice—it was time to return to the central drum, and activate the main control unit.

The Tallest Tower

Waking of Tuesday, June 20, 2017 ~ 2

The Tallest Tower

After a while the canyon widened.... and got wider.... and kept widening. I was getting farther away from the visible tower.

But I kept on my course around the Gerudo Highlands—that’s what these were.

I don’t know why. I just wanted to explore.

It’s a Zelda game.

It was that fever again.

You just want to wander.

I wanted to circumnavigate this mountain range.... probably come back around near Satori Mountain or the Plateau after a big clockwise path....

I got higher and higher until I had to put on my Warm Doublet.... and higher still until even that was insufficient and I had to come back down.

And far away stepping around in its clouds of what David said was dust, I could see the Divine Beast Vah Naboris.

“That’s the Giant Golden Tingle Statue,” he said.

It had been Vah Naboris.

“Well how would you react if you came up over a mountain and saw a three-hundred-foot camel walkin’ around?” he laughed.

I guessed I’d be as flabbergasted as he had been.

The desert stretched out below me, far, far into the distance.... littered with ominously gigantic ribcages and vertebrae—what had those come from? And beyond the sandscape....

Beyond that....

Hhhh.

I saw the sea, and it made me.... sad.

I thought of San Andreas.

I thought of Pacific City.

And I just felt.... sad.

I guess there was something about just the impassable mountains and cliffs you always see in other Zelda games. Those boundaries.

Just the thought of Hyrule—that beautiful land!—nestled somewhere in the vast, indefinable world. Lands and worlds unknown, unseen. Left to the imagination.

But here, on the western edge of the map—and having been to Hateno on the east, and having seen the sea there—and having seen it in the south, beyond the Highland Tower—and seeing it again, here in the west—

I just felt . . . . a sadness.

“Why don’t you go get that shrine?” David pointed to the settlement-looking place I had been watching for a while, way, way out in the desert.

“It looks.... like it could be a friendly place,” I conceded.

“Is the front door open?”

I laughed.

UHF. Fun movie.

Oh, there was plenty down there that had looked intersting to me. That settlement, plenty of ruins, a bit of treasure.... even what appeared to be the location of one of Princess Zelda’s pictographs.

But something still kept me away.... And it wasn’t just this mountain I was exploring....

My thoughts were still back in Akkala. I still had business there.

How had I even gotten this far? All I did was go climb the Lake Tower just to give David a kick and then—suddenly I’m wandering the backside of the Gerudo Highlands.

And then ahead, over a little shoulder of the mountain I saw.... some kind of shape that looked familiar....

It was.... a tower top?

I moved in close. A couple of Bokoblins tried to signal my approach but I rather cut their horn-blasts short. A big black Moblin stepped in to investigate but I Stasised him in his tracks before laying him out flat.

“Nice,” David grinned.

Cool. X-)

I’m feeling quite a bit more confident in combat.

I hiked over the shoulder and it was a tower top. A Sheikah Tower hiding right here in the folds of the mountain! Seemed to be standing in a lower spot in the middle of a ring of cliffs.

There were only a couple more baddies to deal with in the little clifftop camp I’d stumbled upon, but they weren’t too much trouble. And as I raided their spoils, breaking open metal boxes with Magnesis, I was MOST gratified when David shouted in surprise, “Those things BREAK?”

8D

Oh yes they do—and I turned over quite a few rupees that way!

Sweet.

I approached the cliff’s edge to have a look at the Tower’s base. But the hole in which this Sheikah Tower stood was so deep.... that I saw an atmospheric haze before I saw the bottom.

My gosh, this was the tallest Sheikah Tower I had ever seen. o__o

And it had only a handful of platforms on which to rest, all clustered near its top.

And there was something else, up at the crown—a bad guy on top? A top-heavy silhouette moving against the bright sky....

I scoped in.

No it was Kass.

I paraglided over from a high wooden jumping platform, and climbed my way up. Kass sang me another song from his old mentor, this one about shooting an arrow from the tower’s shadow during a certain time of day.... something about piercing heaven’s light....

Shoot for the morning light, I thought fondly.

I could see the platform from which to let fly on a cliff far below....

“Aren’t you gonna activate it??” said David.

“Oh yeah....” I turned to the pedestal. “Almost forgot....”

I dunno what was wrong with me.

I activated the Sheikah Tower—the Gerudo Tower—downloaded the map, and saved.

Hylian Sauté

Waking of Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Hylian Sauté

I still didn’t know how to complete the Ishto Soh Shrine properly, but I reloaded and went through it in my own special way again just to extend the life of the bow I’d been using. It was harder that time....

When I’d beaten the shrine I went north along the Lynels’ Corridor, on the west side again. I scaled that little butte I had skirted around, hoping for a Korok or something on top. Unfortunately all there was was a Talus. But I’m getting quite good at taking them down. :)

After that I sailed down to the valley floor. Lynels or no, I was going to make it to the northern end of that corridor, and see what the big deal was.

There was a smattering of very tall baobab trees, some with Koroks in their branches, others with birds’ eggs. I climbed almost every one I came to, both on the lookout for secrets, and wanting to stay high. There were some shapes in the distance. Horselike shapes....

But they weren’t Lynels. As it turned out, they were just horses. And one of them was big.

I got closer. Man that was a BIG dang horse. It was all black except for its flaming red mane and tail.... it kind of reminded me of.... Ganondorf’s horse, actually....

I checked my pockets and found only one semi-decent stamina potion. Hm.

Well, I snuck up on the big horse and tried it without the potion, and he bucked me off straight away. And somehow I didn’t think just that one potion would have helped me stay on. I would have to come back here later....

Big dang horse.... must’ve been what David was so interested in....

The Lynels’ Corridor ran straight into the southern wall of the Great Plateau, and there were two ways I could go from this abrupt end: east, which would take me toward the Lake; or west.... which led into uncharted territory.

I went west.

It was near Digdogg Suspension Bridge, I could see on my map; that river had come right down around the west side of the Plateau. I climbed and looked down on the lands beyond the bridge. The mounted Bokoblins were there again.

I didn’t want to deal with them, but bypassed them over the hills until I came to the shrine I had detected here before: the Jee Noh Shrine. That was a fun time with lasers. Mom saw part of it and couldn’t understand how I could stand it!

I claimed the Spirit Orb and came out. And just a little more jogging brought me to a place I’d seen before.... I’d been around here before.... somewhere.... when I was searching for Mei.

There was a deep canyon, the same I had asked David about, wondering if there were water in the bottom of it. (There hadn’t been.) On the far side of the canyon was Giant Golden Tingle Statue Mountain, a prominent Sheikah Tower standing away in its upper reaches. A tantalizing array of boardwalks and ladders seemed to lead a fairly straightforward course up into those hills....

Mmmm but something made me stay on the near side of the canyon. I don’t know....

Ignoring a nearby Traveler, I started to climb. I followed the canyon, but I stayed on the east side, running into the night.

At one point a Talus grumbled up out of the earth but I didn’t want to bother with it. I kept going north. However it wasn’t long before some Stalmoblins popped up and really insisted that I stop.

I didn’t want to deal with them either, and so just started climbing the cliff to my right. But one of them shot me with an arrow and I fell. Fine then. I killed them all. Of course by that time the Talus had caught up with me, and so I ran back south again. The cliff was gentler there, and I climbed up to the upper shelf.

The Talus didn’t seem to want to go back to bed, so I ended up just bombing it to death. And after collecting its remains I continued on my way.

David turned up, and asked what I was up to.

I told him I’d killed a Talus.

“A Talus?” he said.

“Yeah, my second one today.”

“What?”

“Have you ever killed a Talus?”

He hadn’t.

Well that was just a little gratifying. :)

Ahead of me were three Gorons standing in a row, arms folded. Behind them was some kind of large platform....

“Where are you?” David laughed.

Which was even more gratifying. ^_^

The Gorons’ names were Bayge, Heehl, and Kabetta, and they were accompanied by what sounded like the half-drunken solo trombone cousin of the musical theme from Skyloft.

This was some kind of shrine-challenge, I gathered, and if I could pass some kind of heat-based endurance test, then the shrine would appear.

For the first round we all stepped onto the big platform. It was a round slab of what looked like metal, and its surface bore huge cracks that looked like they came from heat-damage and—worryingly—seemed to glow red.

If you passed out or left the ring, you lost. Last man standing won.

Fair enough.

I stepped up, we got on the platform and the timer started.

We all began to sway and pant.... Bayge was in the middle. He and Heehl had determined scowls on their faces, but Kabetta seemed like a softer fellow.

“Someone’s.... waving....” said Heehl.

What’s he talking about? I wondered.

My hearts began to tick away, like they had on the Lake Tower.

“It’s.... too.... much....” said Kabetta, and he keeled right over.

Ugh, it was so hot.

“Is that.... Grandpa....?” said Heehl, and then he went down.

It was just me and Bayge. He seemed the toughest of the lot.

“Piece of cake,” he grimaced.

Oh great, I thought.

But then Bayge fell over too!

I won! And only lost two hearts. Phewf!

But there was still another part to the challenge. There was another platform. This one was surrounded by enormous flaming bowls on raised stands, and it looked.... molten....

No, I realized, it was only waving like that because of the heat distortions....

Oh gads....

Well, as long as I was here, I thought I’d try it. I did have one fireproofing elixir I got from I don’t remember where—someone had given it to me—but, like I do, I didn’t want to waste it, and so went without.

I jumped up onto the platform and promptly began to smoke.

The cinematic ensued and Bayge asked if I were ready.

He counted down. The clock started.

I ran in hot circles, wooping like Curly.

The bow on my back burst into flames. Then some of my clothes burst into flames. Then more of my clothes burst into flames—my hearts began to burn away much faster—would this damage my very attire?

I jumped off.

Bayge called me out, and I clicked through the dialogue as fast as I could—I wanted to put out those fires! Stop, drop and roll, I thought, stop, drop and roll....

I got through the conversation and then with HORROR I realized.... there was no button to roll! I could jump but I could not roll! D8

So many times in so many Zelda games I had taken it for granted just to be able to roll!

But my clothes eventually stopped burning and I was able to simly unequip the bow.

And after that I just reloaded from the time before I got on the second platform—I didn’t want that damage to my equipment.

I checked the recipe for the fireproofing elixir—one Fireproof Lizard, and a Bokoblin Horn. Easy enough I guessed. But I had never encountered any Fireproof Lizards in my wanderings.

I didn’t use the elixir, but.... only continued on my way. I decided I would just have to come back here later.

But for now I wanted to climb higher and follow this range....

One Last Look

Waking of Tuesday, May 2, 2017 ~ 4

One Last Look

The game’s rendering of the distant environment really played some cruel mirage jokes on me: I thought for sure I saw a crack in the stone that the water might flow through, but.... no, it must only have been the joint between two very large polygons.

Some way upstream, a convenient pathway led up from a sandy bank on the non-Satori side. The rock formations surrounding it were.... strange and impressive! Arcing over the path and jutting ruggedly into the air. I climbed to the highest point I could on these formations, considering what to do. I could think of only one more course to take....

My last option... was to climb Satori Mountain itself.

From its crest I could make doubly sure that the river really did stop there.

I studied the craggy mountainface over the opposite bank—the back of Satori Mountain; there was one ledge it seemed I’d be able to make if I scrambled.... I pulled out my paraglider and leapt for it.

And it was a scramble. Even with my Climber’s Bandana on, I had to drink my very last stamina elixir—the one I hadn’t used taming Memory—to get on top of it where I could properly stand again.

That had been close. And the next ledge looked.... pretty far away. But I was sure I could make it.... if I could beeline most directly....

I started climbing....

I got.... close....

But my grip was failing....

And I hadn’t found level enough footing to rest—

And I was out of elixirs. And my raw Stamella Shrooms wouldn’t help me.

I started to slide.

I dug my heels into the rock, balancing madly and slowing myself somewhat—I could feel my energy coming back to me if I could just stop my sliding—the rock slid up before my face—I dropped from slope to slope—my toes wouldn’t grip—my arms were burned out—I couldn’t hold on—

And then there was nothing but air. The rushing grew louder in my ears as I dropped, too winded even to pull out my paraglider.

I fell two hundred feet.

My boots slammed onto a large boulder beside the river as I crunched down onto heels and tibias and fibulas and femurs that should have snapped like dry twigs—

But the shimmering teal spectre of a she-Zora enfolded me in its gentle arms before dissipating in a twinkling and a loving whisper . . . .

I stood stunned for a moment.

I was whole.

I was fine.

....I was back at the bottom of the river.

“....Thanks, Mipha,” I murmured, and started swimming toward the pathway out again.

In the end I simply made the little trek back to Jeddo Bridge, and crossed over to Satori Mountain from there. The climb to its peak was easy enough, and, as I traveled by daylight, no glowing beasts crossed my path, which was nice. I did however encounter a great unkindness of ravens higher up [it was actually a murder of crows]—I snapped the pictograph of one of them as my shrine-detector began to beep.

Satori Mountain was hilly; the shrine was difficult to find. It seemed to be directly on the other side of the peak from where I was.

But that was fine with me—I needed to climb up there anyway. And I did. And it was cold at the top.

I didn’t think to put on my Warm Doublet, but just quickly scanned the surrounding landscape.

The rivers did not continue further that I could see.

They really did stop.

I shivered—the altitude was beginning to affect my wellbeing. I had to get lower, and find that shrine....

The shrine belonged to one Mogg Latan, and he seemed to really enjoy making life tremendously difficult. That was a hard-won Spirit Orb. Well played, Mogg Latan.

It was dark when I emerged from the shrine, I don’t remember whether from the night or only the rain. But there were still no glowing beasts about, which was just spiffing.

I surveyed the land as best I could from a lower perch.

The splits of the river seemed to encompass Satori Mountain for most of its circumference. They did all seem to head in a general south-southwestern direction before they ran out.... all of them reaching just to the left of that tiered red mountain range....

Maybe....

Maybe if the rivers had been overflowing.... did they connect to something further? More waterways?

I would take just one more look—just one more.

I would paraglide across the little valley, climb up over the shoulder of the tiered mountains, and if there was no water over on the other side....

Then I would need a new plan to find Mei.

I first took a little break to investigate an enormous skeleton crashed on a high meadow of the mountain—there was a mighty Gerudo sword buried in its ribcage—and then with a flying leap took the long sail through the air to the foothills of the tiered red mountain range.

The Gerudo Highlands they were called. And they were full of Koroks, and wolves.

It was not a long climb. Just to the shoulder. Just to the shoulder—I stopped to riddle out the most elaborate Korok stone-circle I had ever seen, and then kept running—killing more wolves along the way—

Just to the shoulder....

And I mounted the last wide hill and I looked over the land on the other side—

More mountains met my gaze.

Just a beigesandy expanse of valleys and canyons and plateaus that looked.... vaguely familiar actually....

“Wait a minute,” I asked David, “Isn’t this the place where you found the giant golden statue of Tingle?”

He said it was.

But there were no waterways.

“Is there water in the bottom of that canyon?” I pressed.

David said there wasn’t.

There was no water on this side.

I did not know where the lake was.

I couldn’t find Mei.

I couldn’t find Mei.

After a long while....

I went back to the Outskirt Stable.

It wasn’t far, just a long paraglide back across the other split of the river, and a quick dodge round a skipping Fire Wizzrobe.

I booked my bunk again, and slept.

Memory is not fully bonded with me yet. But I don’t begrudge him some part of himself to keep to himself.

He is a noble stallion.

Sweaty Palms

Waking of Saturday, April 15, 2017

Sweaty Palms

“I found Gorignak,” said David.

I just said, “Ah!” and we looked at each other for a moment, both of us knowing I was afraid of spoilers—from either end.

“It’s probably the same one you found,” David said, “I’m pretty sure.” The words were so confidently weighted.

I still didn’t say anything.

“Where did you find yours?” he pressed, “It’s fine.”

“....The South Dueling Peak,” I finally said, “Just below the frost line.”

“Yeah. That’s where I found it.”

“And it asploded into a million Ambers.”

“Yup.”

“You know,” I went on, “I remember coming upon that field, and thinking This just LOOKS like a place for a boss fight....”

David laughed.

He’s ahead of me in the game I think. Sometimes I’ll come in the door and hear things I know I shouldn’t be hearing, whereupon I’ll plug my ears and dash away to my room. Other times I have to occupy the same space out of necessity, making a lunch or something, and I’ll just refrain from looking at the TV, and he’ll keep from initiating any important cutscenes. It’s easy enough, until David starts reacting in blustering whattheheckitude at whatever he is seeing.

At one such time I stood where I could not see the TV, just David’s face. He’d just ascended some kind of big, bald, sand-stony mountain I think, and from the sounds he made and the faces he pulled, you’d think he’d just come upon a giant marble statue of Tingle.

“Gold, actually,” he said.

“Gold statue of Tingle?”

“Yes.”

It’s.... maddening.

“I really want to watch you play this part when you get here,” he told me.

Sometimes I’ll watch him play, but only when he’s in places I’ve already been.

I saw him climbing around Zora’s Domain. Ralis Pond, actually! He barely saw the Hinox in time before blundering into it (it was raining). He climbed all over until he paraglided down onto the bridge and into the Domain proper.

And Rivan and Dunma were the first Zoras he had ever laid eyes on.

“What?” I was incredulous. “HOW? How did you even—? Where did you even come from?”

“The south,” David said, “It took me a really.... REALLY long time.”

I told him I’d let him watch me play that other part, if some day he would show me just how in the world he made it all the way into the heart of Zora’s Domain without bumping into any Zora.

And he had to climb down to get to the Lanayru Tower, because he had never even been to the wetlands.

What in the.... just.... ?

One thing I was sad about for him though was that once he did climb Lanayru Tower, Gruve was not at the top. He didn’t get to see that little exchange. Pity.

Sometimes I’ll watch him play even when he’s just near enough to places I’ve already explored.

I saw him sail far out to an island off the coast near Hateno Village once.

(That was probably when I developed Korok Leaf Envy.)

But ah, what another charming animation we found there—have you ever tried to kick open a treasure chest when you have no shoes on your feet?

Oh dear me. Poor Link! X-)

Made us laugh something grand.

We try not to spoil each other, but we’re okay with giving each other little hints, I think. There were electric green chuchus on that island—the first I’d seen in the game—and I passed on Joseph’s warning that those kind blow up. David appreciated that. He also was glad for the tip I gave him on just setting bombs down beside those hidden land-bound octoroks, and then backing up and blowing them up once they show their ugly faces.

And of course I was happy for the extra brainstorming he offered when I was stuck inside Vah Ruta.... and a few shrines....

But there is one thing he always—

Actually there are probably a lot of things he makes fun of me for.

But there is one thing so constant, that his opportunities to poke fun at me for it are far more numerous than the rest, and that is that.... sometimes when I play the game, my palms sweat more profusely than they’ve ever done before in my LIFE.

As a matter of fact, after I started the game, my palms seemed to oversweat wherever I was—for like two weeks straight. Probably longer.

I did feel slightly vindicated once he started his game file, and said to me at one point as he scaled a giant cliff face, “I can see why your hands sweat.”

But he still digs me for it when I get it going bad.

Very occasionally, my father has seen me play this game. And simply due to the law of averages, he’s therefore seen my hands sweat too.

I’ll keep pausing and apologizing for no reason as I wipe my palms down on my sleeves or the front of my shirt....

And Dad will always say “We’ll have to get you some flight gloves.”

And I’ll laugh.

Or.... that’s how it used to go.

Because on this day, Dad made sure to watch me, and beckon me, as I came up and looked at the entertainment center cupboard where my WiiU lives. Because he wanted to see how I would react. Because there draped over the cupboard door were two long green flight gloves.

“What?” I laughed. :D

“Those are for you!” he smiled.

“What the heck??” I laughed some more.

“Try ‘em on! They’re brand new.”

I did.

“Oh they fit great. You look awesome.”

“Where did you even get these?”

“At the store where helicopter pilots know to look for flight gloves.”

“What the heck, Dad?” XD XD

We hugged.

The flight gloves happened to match the mud-green T-shirt I’d been wearing.

And they came halfway up my forearms.

I felt like a superhero.

He used to do a lot of search and rescue, Dad did.

Maybe that’s why.... I’d been trying so long.... so hard....

Had it somehow become.... a familial trait?

Was it just something in my blood?