Aquas and LousySpy and the Monster Born Of Darkness

Waking of Saturday, January 26, 2019 ~ 2

Aquas and LousySpy and the Monster Born Of Darkness

This had been a long time coming.

I warped to the Dueling Peaks, took out Knight from the Stable, and rode him to Hateno. Saving a few people along the way, of course.... I swear, that stretch of road....

I made it to Hateno, and found Bolson and his crew. Still sitting out by that wok beside the old empty house.

....

Hateno was one of the first places I had visited; Bolson was an early snake in my life. But now I had traveled the world, or at least the country, and seen just about every habitation there was to see.... just on the vague off chance there might be.... someone else making a similar offer.... somewhere.... Though in my heart as time went on.... I think I had known.... there wouldn’t be.

The Deku Tree’s Navel was homely enough, and Pepp was kind to keep a bed there just for me. But.... I was no Korok....

And these Champions’ weapons....

And Hateno still left a dreary, unloving taste in my mouth.

But....

....

It was time.

I had seen the world, and it was time.

I approached Bolson, and I finished what I had started so long ago, and I bought the house. I shelled out the three thousand rupees. I had seen that amount come and go and come again in my purse, but now.... I was finally putting it where I’d meant to put it eventually.

I bought the house.

And Bolson was.... taken aback! By me, spending so much at such an age! He just found it so.... studly.

Lol Bolson is so gay.

And so the house was mine. As was a weapon mount Bolson and crew had left in there that didn’t get sold. “Consider it a housewarming gift,” Bolson said.

A weapon mount.... Hmmm.... I thought I’d seen those in David’s Hateno House....

After the transaction, it was decided that Hudson, one of Bolson’s men, was going to Akkala. Bolson Construction was expanding.

Well that was sudden. :c

I said goodbye to him and bade him good luck.... and he told me to take care of myself.... Nice guy, Hudson. I always liked him.... when I spoke to him. He was always the most cordial.

He even had his own little.... music.... some gentle musical theme.... as he walked off and away into the fade-out.

Aww. :( I’d miss that guy.

Hahhhh.

....

But for NOW....

....

I WENT TO CHECK OUT MY HAUS.

....

I ran inside and it was so bare. But it was mine.

“This is my house,” I said to David.

The wooden floors gaped dustily up at me as I pounded around in the silence.

“This is my house,” I said again.

“....”

“THIS.... IS MY HOUSE. THIS IS MY HOUSE!” I started singing. XD

And David actually recognized it and rolled his eyes hard.

“WON’T YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE? THIS IS.... THIS IS MY.... HOUSE THISISMY HOUSE.... WON’T YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE—I’LL GIVE YOU.... A GOOD SPELL, FOR YOU TO USE. SO YOU CAN JUMP ON MY ROOFS AND EVERYTHING LIKE THAT. THIS IS MY HOUSE. PLEASE, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, IT’S—NOT YOUR HOUSE. I’VE GOT A BIG BEARD! Out of my house.... out.... Ah, don’t stab me....”

....

I don’t think I actually sang the whole thing for/at David but I sure as heck ain’t gonna leave it out of the log.

I ran happily around my new house a few more times, up to the loft and down again, around and around before the initial excitement wore down pretty hard.

Um, the house was all bare. It didn’t even have a door.

I’d finally mounted Mipha’s spear up on the wall, and that was something, but.... where was everything else? David’s house was much fuller than this....

I ran out the doorway to look for Bolson again, getting halfway across the little bridge before stopping and.... hmmmm turning back and grabbing Mipha’s spear again; I didn’t like leaving it alone in a house with no door.

I ran to go find Bolson, but the evening was falling fast and I didn’t find him.

But I did find Kilton.

!

And I remembered.

Now that I’d beaten another Divine Beast....

He should have something new!

Now I could finally see whatever it was that David had seen.... I had guessed and guessed that time, hoping for answers just as much as not. Was it a Hinox Mask? A Guardian Mask? Some kind of Malice-Immunity Potion? But David never said....

I approached the little man in his balloon now....

Kilton was very excited. He’d outdone himself this time. He had created the ultimate monster gear. “I’m actually a bit terrified of myself right now,” he said.

Oh my gosh WHAT IS IT?

He called it.... the dark series.

What?

And he said when I put on this ultimate monster camouflage, I might just become a monster myself. “Have fun being hunted for your organs,” he tells me.

WHAT?

He also said that I might find myself able to move faster at night. “Not sure how that worked out,” he says, “but....” He trailed off.

Oh my gosh....

WHAT IS IT, KILTON?

I clicked through his dialogue until he finally finished his spiel, and I got into his items. Scrolled down.... down.... down....

And....

OH MY GOSH IT WAS A DARK LINK OUTFIT.

Dark Link!

And I studied it a bit more.... “OH MY GOSH THOSE ARE OOT’S BRACERS!” I said to David.

“Who’s Oot?”

“This is OoT’s outfit!”

“Who’s Oot?”

“Ocarina of Time.”

“Oh.”

I knew them by the broad banding over the forearms, and the boot-flaps, and the tunic-lapels, and the shaping of the bandolier and the broadness of the belt.

OoT!

Kilton said he’d designed these with a monster born of shadow in mind.

Uh muh gush....

What an enormous upwelling of nostalgia.

So I started trading him monster bits for his Mon currency. Fortunately I had over 400 Lizalfos Talons and Chuchu Jellies, over 300 Bokoblin Fangs and plenty of Ancient Screws and things.... I made exactly as much as I needed: 3,997 Mon.

And I bought the Dark Tunic for 999 mon.

And I bought the Dark Trousers for 999 mon.

And finally.... I bought the Dark Hood for 1,999 mon.

And I put them all on and....

Oh....

My gosh....

Well that was right creepy.

I was Dark Link!

....

I swear he bore his teeth more.... when he wore this Dark Series....

So I ran to find some townsfolk to scare. But they only jumped and cowered and then spoke to me normally.

And I finally found Bolson! Inside one of the houses in the morning just before he woke up. I just had to wait a minute because he couldn’t be bothered until he got back to the Hylian home.

And shortly, but not shortly enough.... he did. And I spoke to him. And he could see that I was looking at him like I was displeased, or wanted him to keep working on the house—because I did.

So he said he’d finish making it a real home for 5,000 rupees.

You sneakthief!

“But for you, we’ll just start at 100.”

Uh huh, of course you will....

So I spent that morning having him build me things. First, a door, for one hundred rupees.

I forked over the cash, and he called Karson, and in the ensuing blackout I was happily amused to hear that it sounded like the two of them SERIOUSLY got to work! With much manly grunting and huffing and puffing and yelling and guttural shouts all to the rhythm of the sounds of manual construction! XD And when the scenery faded back in, my house had a brand new door. Very nice.

And for a hundred rupees more, a bed up in the loft. And another hundred rupees for some lighting over the main floor. And with each job, the same riotous blackout occurred, Bolson and Karson both yelling and sawing and hammering and yelling some more until the job was done.

That was it for the installation projects. Next I had him add to the mounts on my wall, and he charged me for each one. Two more weapon mounts on the far wall, three shield mounts on the right wall below the loft, and three bow mounts on the left wall. Not in that order, but that’s where they appeared.

With the mounts—and the door—in place, I mounted Mipha’s Spear, and the Ceremonial Trident, along with the stylish Forest Dweller’s Shield, and my trusty, trusty Phrenic Bow. They would be safe and secure in this house. And kept from cumbering me out on the field.

When I was out of mounting options and other interior projects, I had Bolson do exterior work. Even in the rain. Oh I first moved Knight into the roofed stall off the west side of the house and out of the wet. (He and I looked amazing together while I wore the Dark Series.) But I still made Bolson work, despite the cutscenes being robbed of their vibrancy in the silver haze. Plant flowers! Plant trees! (I could hardly spot the wide-angle differences in the downpour.) And finally, A sign with my name on it!

And Bolson and Karson hollered their way through it all, as the last drops finally began to peter out.

The sign stood neatly on its own little pedestal just to the left of the path from the bridge to my door; and it read, I could see after I’d studied it for a moment:

MASTER LINK

                  PRESENTED BY SAKURDA BUILDERS

And when all that had been done, Bolson said “YOU... HOUSING MONSTER!” Or something like it. “You got everything?”

And since I had worked him for all he was worth, he threw in some free furniture for me. (“Karson! Look alive!”) And that.... was that.

And Bolson and Karson left off.

And my house was a home.

And the sidequest Hylian Homeowner flashed across my screen.... Complete.

My gosh, how long had it been?

I didn’t know.

Home complete.... I rode Knight back to Dueling Peaks. Still in my Dark Getup. And the Bokoblins we passed.... leapt out in blatant attacks.

Um.... they didn’t seem very fooled.

I asked David if bad guys did this when he wore the Dark Suit, but he hadn’t bought this set. It was expensive.

Some field research was in order it seemed. I got to Dueling Peaks, boarded Knight, and ran down the road west between the peaks toward the Bokoblin camp. They were all asleep.

So I woke them up with a whistle. Or... did I? They seemed to come to before I could blow. Hmm.

And they all attacked me.

What the heck, Kilton?

One of them hit me with an arrow, and it HURT! D:<

Good gravy that took off a lotta hearts!

Under further attack, I warped away mid-stun to Cotera. Maybe she could upgrade the stuff.

But it was unupgradable.

-_- What in the heck, Kilton?

The ensemble.... didn’t seem to have any good perks.... that I could immediately discern....

But getting another idea I kept it on anyway, and started having the Great Fairy cast her upgrades on my spare Flamebreaker Armor. I had the materials and I just wanted to see something....

I had her upgrade until the kiss. And the little cinematic gave me a clear view of Link’s red-eyed, black-skinned, dark, evil, behooded face.

Oh....

Yeah he definitely bore his teeth more in this outfit....

Sneering. Leering. Narrow-eyed menacing.

My gosh.

Well that was nightmarish.

I reloaded without saving to just before the Great Fairy because I wanted to keep my Smotherwing Butterflies.

Well.

Now what.

....

As long as I was in Kakariko, I went and tried it on the Guardian out back. The Dark Series.

But nope, the Guardian still saw me and got mad. Piano all riled up.

Hm.

I was running out of gas.

....

I warped to the Hateno Ancient Tech Lab and visited Purah. Scared her and Symin with the Dark Suit all right! Symin says—(uh?)—that I can add pictures to my Compendium for a price.... huh, not sure if I knew that before....

Paraglided to.... my house. Scared Bolson on the way.

I have a house now.

And it does look nice.

And it is inviting.

I changed out of my Dark Suit and into my Champion’s tunic, Hylian Hood and Hylian Trousers.

It was 1:10 in the afternoon.

I slept in my very own bed for the first time, until the morning.

Good night.

And at church the next morning, Shelene and I sang. A beautiful song about how by serving the needy, we truly serve Christ, and enrich our own lives as well. And throughout the rest of the cracks between church, women kept coming up to me, and I assume to Shelene as well, to tell me that our singing had moved them to tears.

Basecamp

Waking of Sunday, January 6, 2019 ~ 2

Basecamp

It was so much easier to get to Kaysa now that I could warp directly to the Tabantha Tower. With the Red Lizalfos tails I had collected, I had her do up my Snowquill Ensemble to its highest level! And then.... I think I am set....???? I thought wildly.

Back to Rito Village. I could only explore for so much longer. At length.... I came back to the Painted Landing—now Revali’s Landing—and aligned myself to the snowy clifftops Saki had indicated before. The Flight Range was somewhere over there. The distance looked manageable....

I was ready.

I leapt off the landing and began my paraglide over the lake. But what was my surprise before I even reached the other clifftop shore.... to see Kilton’s Balloon parked down there behind a rock near the edge.

I went to visit with him, taking my time perusing his wares, but he had nothing new.

FORWARD.

The cold pressed in at once, here near the icy coasts of Hebra once more. There was even snow on the ground. But my newly enhanced gear was awesome.

I did have to switch over to my Snow Boots after just a moment, though. If I wanted to move fast. And I did, because DANG I ran into a lot of trouble with mounted Bokoblins, an extraneous Yiga man who really should’ve been at home before his fire, and a number of Stalmoblins. And wolves.

Always the wolves, man....

But thanks to Kaysa, my Snowquill Ensemble was strong as well as warm. I cut and fought and bowled my way across the snow until I made it through to the Sha Warvo Shrine.

Path of Hidden Winds was the trial inside. Tricky!

Onward....

On into Dronoc’s Pass.

The Flight Range would be near here.... I could see the way I needed to go. But.... there was a dwelling over there, just to the north, nestled against the foothills of the mighty Hebra Peaks.

I just went to check it out....

The Hebra Trailhead Lodge this was called. Seemed to be some kind of basecamp.

No one was home, though.

Well, almost no one—there was a book. “Selmie’s Notes”. Selmie had been here?

Oh, she left survival notes, and mentioned that she’d left supplies at the bases of the flagpoles along the trail. That was nice of her. :)

Somebody else added....

“Selmie! Baby! I think I’m a better shield surfer! If I prove it, can we get married?”

And below that, an up arrow, and: “This total loser will never win!”

And then: “I didn’t know what love was until I saw Selmie sliding down the slopes... I can’t believe you retired... Where did you go?”

“Selmie, thank you for leaving the food! I’ll make good use of it here in the hut!”

“I saw some kid north of Coldsnap Hollow! He looked like he was pretty great at shield surfing!”

These must have been notes from other travelers. ^_^

“Selmie, thanks for the food that was left here. It seriously saved my life. I’ll be sure to leave some for the next person.”

“To whoever is reading this, please take as much of the food as you need.”

That was the end.

And well.... given express permission.... I helped myself, too. <3

When I came back outside, there was a dude by a fire.

I could be in the mood.... I approached him.

It was a Traveler all right.

I killed him.

Okay, to the Flight Range....

But....

No, it was late. I’d spent all day combing around this frosty little valley, and the icy night was fast approaching.

I decided instead to sleep in the lodge until morning.

Errands in Zorana

Evening of Tuesday, September 4, 2018 ~ 2

Errands in Zorana

It was time to smarten up—I could at least aim for what materials I wanted. And Luminous Stone from Zora’s Domain was a pretty easy place to start.

I wandered around to Upland Zorana—finally spying on my way, via Magnesis, the Ceremonial Trident at the bottom of the channel beneath the western bridge. Trello had said it had fallen down there....

But I only took a mental note of its location and continued up into the hills, ranging all over, collecting Luminous Stone.

On a paraglide back down toward the Domain proper, I saw that Kilton had parked his balloon near Ralis Pond, so I went to pay him a visit.

Upon approaching him I noticed that the back of his hood (he always faced away from the counter at first) seemed to have.... a hole in it? What?

So I spoke to him, wondering if he had anything new.

And LO AND BEHOLD his hot new item tonight was the LYNEL MASK.

And he confided to me that he had recently nearly been killed while studying actual Lynels to design this mask! Well that explained the hole then! XD

Lynel Mask?

YES PLEASE!

I sold him monster bits for Mon—999 Mon!—and then exchanged again and the Lynel Mask was mine.

SWEET.

I tried it on right away—and laughed so hard—for similar to how he had done with other masks, Link immediately took on the stance and air of its.... what was that word.... exemplificator....

He stood up tall and puffed out his chest and held back his arms like some beefy bodybuilder posing for a film ad! XD Oh my gosh.... XD

Kilton warned me, though.... Lynels were smart. The mask might not fool them for long.

Well I’d just burn that bridge when I came to it then. :)

With my pockets full of Luminous Stone and my Lynel Mask in tow, I sailed down to try and pick up that Ceremonial Trident....

It was a bit of a chore to reach it. But only because I so often forget and neglect the Sheikah Slate power of Cryonis. With a little persistence I was able to ice-bridge my way out to the center of the channel, grab the Trident and get back to solid ground.

But I still didn’t know how to plunge it into the pedestal at the Veiled Falls. I spoke to Trello, I spoke to Laruta, I spoke to Keye.... Keye gave the same demonstration he always had: you jump up high and then slam your spear into the ground.

But I had already tried that with Lady Mipha’s Lightscale Trident, to no effect. And I gave it a go with the Ceremonial Trident. Still nothing.

What was I doing wrong?

I didn’t like damaging these weapons....

Jump up high.... jump up high.... Did I have to go higher? There was a way for that....

I put on my Zora Armor and jetted straight up the Veiled Falls, bursting out the top to hang in the air by my paraglider. Then down, down, down I floated....

I took care to center myself directly over the pedestal. And when I was still high up, but not so high that I’d injure myself.... I let go and plunged down with the weapon....

I didn’t hit dead center, but it was enough.

The Dagah Keek Shrine rumbled out of the earth just up near Ralis Pond!

Well that would make an excellent waypoint up into the hills! It would save a long jog up the stairs and across the bridge anyway.

I entered the shrine and received the monk’s blessing. Excellent.

Trello later mentioned something about a similar effect the Lightscale Trident might have on.... Mipha’s pedestal?

What like the one in the square?

Which I considered and.... might have even tried once or twice.... but....

I don’t like damaging these spears.

Further Distraction

Waking of Sunday, November 26, 2017

Further Distraction

I went out onto the Sahasra Slope. There had recently been a Blood Moon.

It was time to hunt Guardians.

The one in the gorge—that first terrible moving one I had ever seen—went down without a hitch. Something even happened as I sported with it on the rocky slope—it momentarily tipped over backward, so that I could see a glowing orb of some kind set into its underside—a weak spot?

I would have to research that further.

....Research. What a laughable euphemism.

The second one, across the gorge, was a little more frightening, but I was able to take it down just the same. My Ancient Gear collection was mounting up....!

The third one back toward the village however.... Night was falling just as I engaged that one, and some Stalcreatures burst out of the earth at precisely the wrong moment.

I lost an Ancient Arrow.

And the Guardian was hammering me—

I warped back to Kakariko. Blasted Stalkoblins!

No....

No, it was another case of lack of situational awareness, that’s what it was.

I looked up from the shrine’s warp pad, and saw a familiar canvas peeping between the peaks across the valley.

Kilton was back.

I ran and sailed and climbed my way over to him, and first snapped his pictograph—that soldier from the East Akkala Stable wanted to have that.

But I realized the picture was only of Kilton’s back, and the beak-like tatter of his hood. So I drew his attention so that he turned around, and snapped another pictograph.

The quest-exclamation-mark was still affixed to the back-picture in my album, though. Hm.

Eh, whatever.

Kilton had some new wares for me to look at—a Lizalfos Mask.... and a Monster Saddle and Monster Bridle. OuO

I was more careful with my Mon-accruing this time, trading easily replaceable monster bits for just enough currency to pay for those three items.

Heh, the Lizalfos Mask is great. My head twitches just like a bird’s. XD

But I also wanted to see how that new tack looked!

Wanting to keep to the road, I only warped to the Dueling Peaks Stable, wondering if perhaps I could change tack there.

It was raining when I arrived. Hino griped to me that he couldn’t see the moon in this weather. But what was more, everyone was inside! I couldn’t ask anyone about my horse’s gear.

So I warped on ahead to the Outskirt Stable; the weather was clear there.

I had the girl put the Monster Tack on Thrice. (I was sure he’d be okay with it. He’s been around Bokoblins before after all.)

It looked wicked! OuO XD

Tattered and ragged, patched and uneven, homespun as if by spiders from a forgotten cave on Halloween night.... with scary polo wraps to match! C8

It was cool! XD

And Thrice’s entire head was covered—except for one ear, I think—and he had those bulging mesh eye-covers—and mean-looking kind of plates down the back of his neck—it looked so scary! XD

Hah, I’d love to see David’s reaction when he sees me riding with that gear! ^_^

Mon and Masks

Afternoon of Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Mon and Masks

I considered as I started up at Cotera’s spring once again.

I had over ten thousand rupees.

And I’d been meaning to get those sneaky pants sooner or later.

So I paraglided down into town, walked into the clothing shop, Enchanted—which was fortunately still open at this late hour—and for eighteen hundred rupees bought the Stealth (or whatever) top, leggings and mask. Wearing the latter had my hair up in a man-bun with picks through it. Heh. I’d wondered whether the wig on the mannequin was just a wig or....

I guess what you see is what you get.

I stepped back out into the night. It’d been a while since I’d walked around Kakariko Village. Which was that road that led back to the shrine and the fairy fountain? (For that matter, who cares about roads when you’re paragliding everywhere anyway?) I’d need to have Cotera do up my new clothes....

But before I spied the shrine, I spied something else, something lit up against the dark sky, high on one of the hills overlooking the village.... somewhat colorful....

I scoped in.

It was Kilton’s balloon, I was sure of it.

I climbed up and sure enough, it was him.

His monster shop was open for business.

The long and short of it was this: If I brought him monster parts, he would pay me in Mon—

“What’s Mon?” I asked.

“It’s a new currency I’m developing to destabilize the economy and bring down the establishment,” or SOMETHING was his answer! XD Oh I wished Daniel could’ve heard this! First IKEA, now Bitcoin, what would the game throw at me next!? XD

“Just kidding,” Kilton said after a second, “There is no establishment in Hyrule.”

Oh gosh this guy. XD

—And with the Mon I earned, I could buy monstery products from him.

He showcased a weapon called the Spring-Loaded Hammer, which allegedly would knock smaller enemies flying. But among his wares, I was most interested in a couple of masks he had for sale! A Bokoblin Mask, and a Moblin Mask.

I COULD USE THEM TO BLEND IN WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE EXEMPLIFICATORS. C8 What the—

!?

SERIOUSLY MS WORD THAT IS LEGIT A PIECE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE? I WAS GUESSING.

*cough*

....

Exemplificators....

Yes. Right then.

The masks looked incredibly homespun: fabrics of only similar colors held together by broad and obvious whipstitching over wavy seams, buttons for eyes—and not quite symmetrical at that! But their descriptions claimed they would give me the ability to walk undetected among my foes.

They were slightly expensive, considering the monster parts I would have to expend, and I didn’t like the thought of such a restricted legal tender, but this was too good to pass up. I quickly scraped up a selection of horns and talons and eyeballs and wings from my pockets, sold them for 99 Mon exactly, and then used that sum to buy the Bokoblin mask, the cheaper of the two.

I tried it on, and ran around and swiveled the camera to have a good look at myself—the floppy ears waggled with my movements, heh! But no sooner had I come to a standstill than all at once I hunched my posture right over, bent my knees, splayed my arms and did the Bokoblin Stance Dance! OH MY GOSH!! XD XD XD

I got so excited to try the other that I didn’t bother to calculate the exact sum of 199 Mon, but simply swapped out monster parts to Kilton (reserving no less than thirty of any given kind to myself) until I had enough and change!

And then on went the Moblin mask!

And I stood a hulking giant with powerful broad shoulders.

OH these were too good! XD

I passed on the Spring-Loaded Hammer and the Monster Extract, but went straight to Cotera after all that to do up what clothes I could. The masks, sadly but not surprisingly, could not be enhanced. But I had plenty of stealth-based ingredients to bring my Stealth Ensemble all the way up to level three in no time.

And get this—the set bonus that came with having enhanced Stealth clothes.... was faster movement at night. Haha! I felt like a Ninja! XD I could see the difference in my pace. I was so fast! 8D

But I took off the headpiece and redonned the Bokoblin’s pig head as I made my way out onto the Sahasra Slope. And I swear that mask made me emanate little snorting noises as I ran....

I knew there were mounted Bokoblins down here somewhere, and I found them.

And they found me. I could see the little question marks appear above their heads as they looked in my general direction. At first I took cover, but.... well, I was wearing the mask, wasn’t I? I had to be brave for my first field test!

I came back out from behind the bush, and there were the question marks again, filling, filling, filling with yellow....

Wait don’t they usually fill with red?

....

I didn’t think about it at the time.

But the first question mark filled all the way, popped into an alarming exclamation point....! And the Bokoblin kicked his horse and started walking it toward me.

He didn’t charge. He didn’t blow any warning horn.

He just walked.

And his friend came, too. A red one.

A black Bokoblin and a red Bokoblin, just walking their horses around me in a circle. Looking at me.

Did you know that red Bokoblins have blue eyes, but that black Bokoblins have red eyes?

I wonder what color blue Bokoblins’ eyes are.

“Don’t look at the screen don’t look at the screen!” I urged David as he stepped into the room. He rolled his eyes as I continued, “Wait wait wait.... I made a new friend....” I changed Link’s wardrobe to the Champion’s Tunic and Hylian Trousers, and switched to my scope to look at the black Bokoblin without having Link on the screen. “Okay you can look.”

David turned.

“See my new friend?” I grinned. The Bokoblin was still looking at me, and I followed him through the scope as he circled his horse.

“What’s on your head?” David asked.

“How did you—? Oh the reflection....”

He’d noticed something off as he faced away from the TV—and looked into the reflecting glass of a picture frame.

“What’s on your head?” he grinned, curious to see.

“Are you sure? Spoilers? Nothing?”

“Show me!” he laughed.

I came out of the scope, and was once again a stooping, crouching Bokoblin pig-man.

“What?” David spat in incredulous hilarity.

“I’m a Bokoblin!” I said. :D

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game.”

And I told him about the Sneaky Suit, and its bonus of extra speed at night! I went into my menu to put on everything but the headpiece.

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game—”

“Wait what’re those?” David gasped as I exited the pause menu.

“What’re what?” I knew perfectly well what.

“Those clothes? What were those?”

“Spoilers!”

“I don’t care.”

“Hnnnngg....”

“Let me see!”

I paused again

“What are these?” He pointed between my Moblin Mask and my Barbarian Helm.

“Well, that one turns me into a Moblin and that’s my Barbarian Helm.” But I could’ve sworn I saw him wearing something like it once.... “You don’t have that?” I asked.

“No.”

Hm, then it must have been unique to the Lomei Labyrinth.

Well, he’d find it sooner or later.

“What the heeeck?” he croaked through a dumbfounded grin as I modeled the Moblin Mask within the menu. The big dumb tongue lolled around as I moved. XD

I put the Bokoblin mask back on before I unpaused, and we watched the Bokoblins continue to react to my presence as I wore it.

I stood. I walked. I ran.

I moved.

And wherever I went they followed me.

And then another test: I took out my sword, and killed the red Bokoblin in one swing. His horse ran off. And the black Bokoblin?

There were arrows. He fired off a few arrows. In my general direction. But they seemed somehow half-hearted. And after a while he stopped all together. Might’ve been because he lost sight of me when I dashed away over the hill.

He did manage to kill a goat, though. But I ran in and stole the meat before he could get it.

But he didn’t seem to care.

After all, I was just another Bokoblin.

....

These masks were the best things in the UNIVERSE. X-)

Good Friends

Waking of Thursday, July 20, 2017

Good Friends

Good friends really are wonderful. Alison, Jenenne and Jenny came over and took me out for a burger to celebrate my birthday. They couldn’t do it on my actual birthday because.... it’s just been so busy at work.

It’s rough when for your birthday you gotta drive a longer commute, to a less sanitary building, with ventilation systems ill-designed for the desert environment, which don’t really work anyway, to sit in a smaller cubicle, at an earlier hour than usual, to do mandatory overtime.

It’s been some long and hard days. But....

Good friends really are wonderful.

After food they brought me back and we all wondered what to do next. “Games?” someone proposed.

And frankly I probably just panicked. Games like the kind you play at parties? Parties full of people, crowds make me nervous....

I don’t know when the last time I just plain.... played a game was. With other people. I know I used to. Lots of people. But....

When did it become so uncomfortable, so dangerous, in my mind?

That just someone saying the word Games could.... make me want to back out and run away.

And so I brought up something else that I had heard my friends express an interest in: “You guys want to see my Zelda game?”

“Ooh yeah!” said Jenny. I turned on the console.

Alison wanted to start her own game but when we came to the rigamarole of that she would have to create a profile on my WiiU first.... she told me to just go ahead.

Just for kicks I found my own way out of Ketoh Wawai’s shrouded island. Even remembered to turn my HUD back on halfway through, oops.

Our mission, I told them, was to Collect the Blue Marker and Find Mister Kilton.

And so we wandered west, toward my blue marker.... but it was quite far away. And zooming in with my scope, it looked like there might be a danger of my freezing to death before I could reach it.

Well.... not wanting to be all night, we decided to forego the blue marker for the present, and wander back east around the north of the volcano, toward Gut Check Rock, and Skull Lake.

But that was quite a long distance, too.

And so after looking at some wildlife—Alison enjoyed the cranes; she asked me to take a picture but I didn’t.... I should have—after looking at some wildlife I simply warped straight to Gut Check Rock.

From there I paraglided toward Skull Lake, found the highest jump-point I could and then paraglided again toward the shrine on the spire island. My friends were wowed by the vastness of the world! Jenny was right glued to the screen. And Alison was right glued to Jenenne’s snack she had brought: some kinda sticky-sweet puppy chow mix, which I tried to partake of carefully because I didn’t want to gum up my WiiU gamepad!

It was delicious.

“Here, take it away from me,” said Alison, and Jenny and I obliged.

The shrine was named for one Zuna Kai, but I don’t remember whether it was a puzzle shrine or a blessing shrine. Might have been a blessing shrine.... Yeah.

After that it was a slow float down all the shelfy rocks to find Kilton. There were so many crags to explore.... Killed a few baddies....

In the lake at the bottom there was a boat, and I showed my friends how to blow it around with a Korok Leaf! That was pretty cool. B)

I blew it the short distance to Kilton’s island....

And WAITED.

The water in the lake was full of giant flowers, submerged some feet beneath the surface. Made me wonder if there could be a fairy nearby....

Night fell, storms came and went (the foliage-obliterating lightning was quite transfixing!), and Kilton didn’t show.

After 2:00 am and with still no Kilton I jumped off the island and swam away for a distance. And then upon turning back—

BOOM! There’s a huge balloon of some kind parked there?? (Seemed I just had to step away so the game could populate it!) All in dark spooky colors in the patchwork of its envelope and the ramshackle tent beneath it.... at first glance it made me think of some Halloween-themed version of the Wizard of Oz!

I swam back!

After scrambling onto the island, I approached the figure moving behind the tent’s tiny counter.... He seemed.... bird-like in appearance—no it was the torn back of a hood—

I got his attention and he turned around and spooked and HOWLED at my appearance! And then he said, “Oh... just a Hylian.”

What.... was he? His face was huge, and grey-skinned. Actually I was reminded of nothing so much as.... oh let me check the spelling.... Ben Quadinaros. The Star Wars podracer whose power coupling failed at the start line. Quadinaros also had a huge face.

Kilton’s face was large, with pronouncedly curly eyebrows and very wide eyes. He asked me what I thought of monsters.

I told him the truth: “I hate them.”

And, looking very much, well, deflated, he cut off the conversation.

Oh dear. I.... kind of pitied his poor timid manner.

So I spoke to him again, and this time claimed, “I like them.”

He asked me how much I liked them.

There were four possible responses, and I only remember the most intense one: I ADORE THEM!

But I chose the lowest response.

Whereupon Kilton jumped into an overbearing pose and screamed, “I LOVE THEM MORE THAN YOU DO!”

o__o;

Guess he was.... anticipating a little bit of contention there. Guy gets excited! ^_^;;

But he apologized and quieted down and introduced himself properly and then rattled off the names of a few villages (some I’d never heard of!) that he might like to do business in in the future—at night.

And then.... he was on his way. Back in his balloon and off into the sky.

And that was Mister Kilton.

Well that encounter was.... shorter than I’d thought it would be. Seemed it was just an introduction, to get to know him.

Guess I’d see him around.

What even is he....? If not a Hylian.... I wonder....

Well, we’d completed our mission of Finding Mister Kilton, and so set about getting into what tomfoolery was readily available. I wandered....

From Skull Lake I wandered into Rok Woods, and quickly discovered it was not named for a giant bird, as I had wondered. I did however get a Korok for my.... heavily concussive troubles. And then I climbed up on one of the jutting rocks above Tempest Gulch. And after grabbing another Korok there, I considered the Blue Lynel prowling down near the aspens....

Under a bit of peer pressure from the ladies, I paraglided down and RODE IT! HAHA!

Wasn’t gonna let David one-up me entirely! ^_^

After it bucked me off, I had a fair tussle with it, too! I employed Stasis most effectively, but.... in the end it proved stronger than I was, and so I warped back to the Zuna Kai Shrine on top of the Skull Lake Spire, and then back to Gut Check Rock.

I showed them the cooking pot up near where Bayge sat, and after consulting my ingredients Alison insisted I should make a Speed Elixir. So I did, and they loved the cute little animation of Link cooking, just as they had loved the animation of him eating to up my hearts before I faced the Lynel. ^_^

But the Lynel had taken just as many hearts back off, and then some, and so it was a paraglide down to the hot spring for a nice, healing soak.

We ran around a bit more until we found.... a BLUE HINOX, snoring out there on the hot rocks. I moved in so they could see the creature up close, and got closer, and closer.... until the Hinox woke up, and then it was a comical run for our lives as it chased after us! XD

Ah it were such a delightful time just romping around on the screen. But....

Well, I was the Hero. And I had followed the breadcrumbs as far as I could. Perhaps not in a direct course, but hey, I was trying. Go see Impa. Go see Purah. Go see Robbie. Murmurs about Kilton.

And I’d found Kilton, and then he’d gone and—

There were no more breadcrumbs.

That was the end of the breadcrumbs.

....

But....

I was here at the Volcano.

....

Maybe it was time to see whether I could....

DO THE VOLCANO?

D8

I proposed a new quest to my companions: find, reach, and activate the local Sheikah Tower!

They were all in as I scrambled up the craggy stones and ashfalls, occasionally bursting into flame....

Good friends.... really are wonderful.

Somehow the house became quite the hot spot that night. John and Siara were there, had been there since about the time my friends and I got back from In-N-Out. They gave me a sweet birthday card, too. :3 <3 ^_^ And later Ben and Cami showed up! What kind of party was this?

Spontaneous, I guess.

Alison, Jenenne and Jenny didn’t see me reach the tower; it was getting late and they bowed out before then. I thanked them for the birthday visit, and they departed.

But once I got very close to the structure, I asked Ben if he’d like to see, and he did.

It was nice to find a tower that wasn’t swamped in a bog, covered in briars or surrounded by Guardians. There were just a few Bokoblins in the way on the hill just below, and they were easy enough to dispatch.

The Eldin Region map was.... TREMENDOUSLY INTERESTING. OuO I studied it for quite a long time, noting the places I’d already been, like the Eldin Great Skeleton.

As it turned out, there were a few more GIANT RIBCAGES smattering the sides of the volcano. Perhaps not as complete or grandiose as the Great Skeleton, but.... my gosh, still....

WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE GIANT BONES? o__o;

But then I saw something that truly made my insides shrivel up and die in horror just a little bit....

There was a giant ribcage in a pool of lava.... and just about where the head would have been was.... one of those Bokoblinish skull-dens?

The ones shaped like enormous skulls?? O___O

WAIT, wait.... I mean I’d figured the Bokoblins just liked to carve them that way, but.... then again I’d also seen weird squished mossy ones that looked.... a little more disturbingly organic than that. Or like they fell out of a Studio Ghibli film.

Were they actual skulls?

But I thought of the Eldin Giant Skeleton—THAT one.... that one had not been humanoid, as the skull-dens seemed to be. That one DEFINITELY was probably.... something more like a Dodongo. It had the long tail and everything.

Actually that was the only long tail I’d seen accompanying those ribcages. I mean I’d seen the ribcages everywhere: Lanayru, the desert, distant mountains I’d not yet climbed.... and now here in Eldin.

But maybe the long tails just didn’t survive in any of those other skeletons—and I didn’t see any other bones either, no femurs or pelvises or phalangies how do you spell that—just.... ribcages and vertebrae.

And those skull-dens everywhere.

And a massively boggling thought entered my mind.

Dodongos are native to Eldin; they’re native to the volcanic region. And Dodongos can grow to great size. And judging by the Eldin Great Skeleton, it could have been that giant Dodongos once ranged all over Hyrule.

But....

I remembered one other creature native to Eldin that I had also seen reach enormous sizes—and this creature.... was humanoid—

The Gorons.

The Gorons themselves.

Oh my gosh.

Were those Giant Goron skulls dotting the land all over?

Was there some tempestuous age of Giant Dodongos and Giant Gorons rumbling all over the land in titanic clashes of dominance?

DUDE? D8

Well, Ben and I had fun surveying the landscape from the top of the Eldin Tower. But soon I wanted to move. I tried paragliding down onto where my map said there was a road, but.... a few seconds after leaping off the tower, the wooden club on my back burst into flame with a little woof!

So I warped back onto the tower.

Ben, unfamiliar with the HUD, wanted to see the temperature gauge.

So I jumped off again.

There was something kind of hilarious about sailing quietly and serenely through the air and then woof!—bursting into flame.

I warped back to the tower again.

Ben said even the gauge itself burst into flame!

“Really?” :D I’d never seen that!

So I jumped off again.

Woof! There went the temperature gauge.

I warped back again.

I did this no less than four times, and we laughed every time. XD

Ahhhh.... X-)

Presently I tried jumping the other way—downhill over the face of the volcano—and started making my way toward a shrine I had marked long ago from the heights of Upland Zorana. I’d forgotten all about it. And it was a little tricky to find because my detector was still set to find Decayed Guardians.

Mmm makes me wonder if there are any shrines on the north face of the volcano.... I hadn’t been detecting shrines there either....

I came to the Tah Muhl Shrine, and completed it, and saved.... and went to bed.

Good friends really are wonderful.

And so are good family.

It was a good evening.

Just.... nice.

Nice to sit back and do something simple and fun the night before my doctor would infuse my blood with ketamine. What kind of person would I be after that?

I didn’t know.

Maybe I ought not to panic next time.

I remembered games.

I used to play them all the time, with other people. Lots of other people. And I liked it.

Why hadn’t I even been able to remember Apples to Apples?

It’s a good one.

Maybe next time.... I’ll invite the girls to play Apples to Apples.

And we can make cookies just for good measure.

GUT CHECK

Waking of Saturday, July 8, 2017

GUT CHECK

On the Great Plateau, King Rhoam had advised me to go see Impa.

In Kakariko Village, Impa had advised me to go see Purah.

In Hateno Village, Purah had advised me to go see Robbie.

On the way to Robbie’s, people had whispered about Kilton.

Those were the breadcrumbs as I tasted them.

That was why I wanted to stick to Akkala for now.

And that was why when I left the Spring of Power I headed straight for the Skull Lake, which Kilton was said to haunt. I could see the shrine high at the top of one of its ridiculous islands, even at this distance.... Perhaps I’d snag that first; it looked like there was some higher ground I could climb to in order to paraglide in....

I started in a somewhat northward direction through a high valley full of beautiful aspens in fair colors, the highland cliffs of the coast on my right, and the foothills of the volcano on my left.

But I did not get very far before I was interrupted—by an erhu.

I swiveled madly around, searching.... Where, where? And finally looking straight up.... I saw it, high, high in the sky above my head:

A Red Dragon.

I snapped the distant creature’s pictograph, and my Compendium told me this was Dinraal, a spirit of fire taken the shape of a dragon. The rest of the entry was very much similar to Farosh’s. But, benign as he might be, I somehow didn’t think if I rode on this dragon’s back that his flames would be so . . . . forgiving.

I didn’t take but a few steps more before I was interrupted again—by a Lynel.

That’s what that moving shape in the distance was—and when its head jolted in my direction I quickly got behind a tree trunk!

A Blue-Maned Lynel.

Tougher than the Reds. Tougher than that one on Ploymus Mountain.

Dear me.

So I backtracked around and up into the high eastern hills, giving it a wide berth. But there was a Lynel up that way, too.

It was a trick to tread between them! But I fared well enough until I got high around the east or northeast part of the cliffs surrounding Skull Lake. It would be an easy paraglide to the shrine from here....

But I saw something further to the west. Another orange glow beside an immense pillar of rock.

But it was so faint and so distant.... Was it really a Shrine?

I considered: If I paraglided down to the Skull Lake Shrine, it would be a long climb back up here to investigate that other orange glow....

And so I put Skull Lake on hold and plunged on ahead, up into the dread forbidding foothills of Death Mountain.

The land was bald, the trees scorched and dead. Not even any Koroks gamboled around here. It was an awful place to wait out another Blood Moon....

I saw as I drew closer to that great rock spire that the glow did not come from a shrine, but from fire. Campfires, torchfires. Something else anyway. And soon I came upon some walkways crudely plated with metal sheets, and jagged fenceposts and an archway. This led onto a narrow part of a wide and many-chambered pool of water so crystal blue....

And bubbling, I saw with a closer look.

Some rocks sat half-submerged in the water just after the archway. For jumping across I imagined.

Would I boil alive if I fell in there?

How brave was I feeling about jumping over those rocks?

“Andrea,” David piped up as I hemmed and hawed.

“Yeah?”

“This is about Zelda.”

Huh. “....‘Kay?” I said.

He hesitated and then said, “The water won’t hurt you.”

Oh, I thought.

“It’s a hot spring,” said David.

OH! 8D “A hot spring?” I smiled, and walked right ahead and into it until I was treading water.

But I already had full hearts. And then some, thanks to Mipha when I’d run into that treehouse north of the Lynels. It had been full of bokoblins with bomb arrows, which I harvested, as they were firing in the rain.... but then the sun came out and they’d blown me up before I could kill them all.

Never could figure out how to get up onto that treehouse....

Anyway I’d heard hot springs could fill you up some hearts. <3

I got out of the water, and headed for that giant rock. There was a signpost. It read:

GUT CHECK ROCK

WAT. ò.Ò

A couple of Gorons were at the base of the rock pillar, one standing, the other flat on his back. I went to check on this one, a bit concerned for his wellbeing.... and it was—

“KABETTA?”

“So sweaty... brother...” he groaned.

Heehl was the Goron on his feet.

It was those same Gorons. Accompanied by that same drunken Skyloft Trombone no less.

They both recognized me as “that guy who backed out of the endurance challenge”.

But here was another challenge for me it seemed. I ascended to the top of the rock pillar via air current, and found Bayge at the top—and a Shrine after all!

Bayge also recognized me as that quitter from before. Dang it, Gorons!

I asked him to move so I could get in the Shrine, but he said first I had to pass the GUT CHECK CHALLENGE.

“THIS IS WHERE GORON BOYS BECOME GORON MEN, BROTHER!” and oh so many other manly encouragements he spouted. XD

Well, I wanted in that Shrine, so I did their challenge, climbed the pillar, got enough rupees, and made it to the top before the time ran out. I really wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it! But I gave it a try and lo! it worked. And they made me their sworn brother to boot! ^_^

And the Shrine was mine.

And I received Gorae Torr’s Blessing.

Cool.

I think there might also be a Korok hiding up on top of that pillar but I’m not sure.

But with how high I was, I had quite a view! And I could see Dinraal twining through the sky.... It seemed he came down to a lower altitude as he bent westward, around the north side of the volcano.

Mmmm perhaps I really should have gone back and just gotten the Skull Lake Shrine, but....

I followed the dragon.