A Matter of Presence

Waking of Saturday, November 3, 2018 ~ 3

A Matter of Presence

It would take two shards of Naydra’s horn in order to enhance the Champion’s Tunic, but I decided to just stop at one for now. Waiting for that dragon had taken forever! And I didn’t want to put it off any longer—I went back to Serenne, and I was gonna head north. I was gonna.

I just noticed a few more possible Korok hiding places along the way.... and of course with David watching when the sun went down I had to show him what the Skelesuit did, when the Stalcreatures started popping out of the ground.... It was a disguise! David had had this suit way longer than I’d had it, and he’d never known! And then when I saw the light from that fallen star I had to switch to my Stealth Suit to run there and get it in time, just a little detour.... Whoops, had to watch out for that Lynel beneath Mount Drena.... How long had that been there?

And then here came Dinraal down the canyon.

I ran. Still in my Stealth Suit I ran, moving so fast, giving no time for baddies, my gosh, I had to get there—! And I BARELY made it to the big canyon’s edge to shoot a scale off the dragon’s tail as he curled and twined massively away and out of reach.

I floated down into the canyon to pick it up; that was two of Dinraal’s scales I had now. I could offer one to the Spring of Power....

And with a warp and a short jog—gosh Akkala was such pretty country—I did. And a door back behind the Goddess statue opened up to reveal the Tutsuwa Nima Shrine.

It was a Major Test of Strength. Always a good challenge....

But my controller battery was running low; I opted to wait a bit before defeating the Shrine-Guardian. But once I had, I felt cocky and confident enough to turn my attentions to the three Guardian Flyers in the neighboring Ordorac Quarry. I’d deflected enough bolts from the landbound ones.... I could probably deal with the flyers....

As it turned out it was much more difficult than it seemed. With the Stalkers I could assume an optimal distance away, and time my reaction to the bolt. For me it was easiest when they came in close....

But the Flyers evidently didn’t need to hover in the same distance to blast you. And they swung and weaved beneath their propellers, further complicating the timing, and not even ensuring a deflected bolt would connect!

It was hard. But once I’d started I wanted to see it through. I ended up burning through Daruk’s Protection, breaking a few shields and using more than a few arrows, but in the end I did destroy them all. And the run of the quarry was mine.

Disappointingly, however, there wasn’t much to be found therein. Just a few good ore deposits, which wasn’t entirely unsurprising, but I could find their like anywhere.

The encounter was not a loss, though; I found something else out.

I discovered what makes my sword gleam at odd whiles.

It turned out the whiles weren’t so odd after all. The Master Sword would double in strength, and shine with the power to repel Evil, whenever Evil was in close proximity.

I discovered this when I was maneuvering around the edges of the quarry, making ready to draw the attentions of one of the Flyers. As it moved around its small patrol-circuit, it would come near to me and then move away again, over and over. And the range was just right, so that when I held the Master Sword in my hand and the thing came close.... the sword would KLANG with a ringing that hungered to be thunder, while the blade would light up and shimmer fiercely. And when the Guardian hovered away and out of range again the light would go out, and the sound would sleep.

THIS WAS AMAZING. There was something really cool about it, though also a bit daunting, if not scary.... But I felt a little bit past that kind of dread now, with the Guardians.

I could get close to them....

Also it would be a lie to say all of this did not remind me at least a little bit of Orcrist, Glamdring, and Sting.

Well the Ordorac Quarry was nice, but I didn’t anticipate ever coming back here again after the next Blood Moon. There was ore to be found elsewhere, and this place was too choked with small trees anyway. I swept for Koroks and other treasures, searching round every obstructing hump of unblasted stone.... place shoulda been a lasertag course instead, really....

Where was I? What was I doing....?

....OH YEAH—

BLOODY UNWATCHED POT

Evening of Tuesday, September 4, 2018

BLOODY UNWATCHED POT

The Hateno Tower gave me an excellent vantage point. Now I just had to wait. What phase of the moon was it again....?

There it was creeping over the horizon: waning gibous.

I warped back to the Deku Tree’s Navel and sat by the fire. Again. And again. And again.

David remarked that the Koroks must have thought me very weird. Just sitting there unmoving on my haunches for such a long time.

I counted sittings until the full moon night, whereupon I warped to the Muwo Jeem Shrine on the eastern edge of the map. I would definitely get the earliest possible notice looking out over the sea from here....

And up came the big full moon....

It was white. Not red.

Rats!

Okay! I thought to myself, here is what I will do then! I would just go about my business as usual, and then, as each night fell, I would just warp back here to the Muwo Jeem Shrine over the sea and check.

Oh but first I would need to test, yes.... How long would it take me to make it to Washa’s Bluff from the shrine by Tabantha Bridge? I warped there to try it....

The night-speed of the Stealth Suit would help. I touched down on the warp pad at 10:25 pm, and started running. I did not make time to correct the camera angle and so had a bit of a stumble getting off the little hill and down to the ground, but I got the general direction well enough!

Augh, and then I accidentally ran myself out of stamina—Link slumped into a slow, panting jog for a few moments while he recovered—but that was all right, this was only a test run after all. And I wouldn’t make that mistake during the actual Blood Moon....

I dashed and sprinted ahead, giving no satisfaction to the Keese and Stal-creatures hounding my footsteps.

I made it to the pedestal by Kass’ treeshroom—AND THE TERRIBLE ACCORDION RANG DOWN THROUGH MY TEMPLES—and it was five or ten minutes past midnight. I was late.

Hmmmm.... But I had only started at 10:25.... I would be able to see a Blood Moon come up over the sea before that time of night.

Moon usually rose about ten o’clock....

I could make it in an hour and forty minutes....

I could make it to Washa’s Bluff....

I would just go about my business in the meanwhile, yes....

Business as usual.

I was stark raving moon-mad crazy.

I visited Tera and suffered a clothes-alignment conniption inside my menus—I didn’t want to rearrange my closet. But I was short on most materials anyway.

And so I had the BRILLIANT idea to just go back to the beginning per Vizzini, go back to the plateau, and loot EVERYTHING, and take the old east road I had taken before—there were lots of minerals along the way, like between the Dueling Peaks....

Unfortunately the Great Plateau had nothing but a plethora of mushrooms. I killed the Talus anyway. And many Bokoblins. So many Bokoblins. What a killing spree.

When I realized and remembered that the Plateau yielded only the most basic of materials, I paraglided down and headed east through the old ruins anyway, cleaning out the Moblins as I went. I sniffed around every corner, looking everywhere, turning over treasure chest after treasure chest that I just couldn’t fit in my inventory.

I’d meant to explore this place more thoroughly later anyway. Huh, “later”. When exactly was “later”? I’d thought of it back when I first left the plateau. But I’d had to find Impa then, and I hadn’t been strong enough.

I came upon a weapon stamp I had left on my map, for in case I was ever in desperate need of something strong. And at the indicated location, thrust into the earth at the center of a shallow rain-pool.... was a Rusty Halberd.

How little I used to be.

The ruins were a somber place. Inside some of them I could see where I was sure that.... beds.... used to stand. Such simple little dwellings. And I imagined the faithful, loyal guards who must have manned them.

Our poor country.

I continued searching, chasing out a Korok at the top of a weathered flagpole—my gosh there were so many such towers in the field—how many of them hid Koroks? And there turned out to be more Moblins than I had realized between the Plateau and Proxim Bridge as well. Big Yiga Clansmen came out to play sometimes. I killed them too.

Then suddenly I looked up AND THE MOON WAS RED. I GASPED.

IT WASN’T EVEN A FULL MOON NIGHT. WHAT THE HECK, GAME?

CURSE YOU NINTENDOOOOO!

I looked at the clock. Oh wicked fate! It was 10:25. The same as last time. The time I hadn’t made it.

I went to my map—no.... I paused first. I put on clothes for night-speed. Yes. Then to the map. And I warped to the Tabantha Bridge Stable.

This was it....

I had a better time getting off the little hill, hugging tight to the mountainside in my paraglide and jog until I could round the bend enough to make a beeline. I won’t make the stamina mistake, I won’t make the stamina mistake, I won’t make the stamina mistake I MADE THE STAMINA MISTAKE. D8

Link recovered, I was running, I was beelining, hoofing it, there were bad guys, I ran past them, there was no time, the ground began to smoke, the creepy music started, I could see the pedestal glowing far ahead of me, the sky was turning red, I was running, I was RUNNING—

The clock struck midnight.

I didn’t make it

Zelda’s voice warned.

Dang it....

The vision ended.

I ran still.

THE PEDESTAL STILL GLOWED.

I GOT ON.

TOOK ALL MY CLOTHES OFF.

.

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AND THERE WAS A SHRIIIIINE! 8D

THE MIJAH ROKEE SHRINE BURST OUT OF THE EARTH JUST THERE IN THE LITTLE DEPRESSION ON TOP OF WASHA’S BLUFF!

Mijah Rokee!

What did Mijah Rokee have in store for me! A blessing perhaps? Surely....

It was a Modest Test of Strength.

I put my clothes back on.

And when I came out, the sun was shining so low and warm and beautiful.

And the accordion was gone.

....

It felt a little hollow.

The Value of Not Being Seen

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 2

The Value of Not Being Seen

Clicking “Continue” from the Game Over screen respawned me back in the Hall of Heroines. I trekked back up the dark, narrow passageway to Barta’s cell....

There was still nothing I could do to help her. I did not rescue Barta.

But I did make it past the infamous pillar and on into the lower part of the passageway, where the next Yiga guard stood sentinel before the only doorway out.

He did not move.

When the circuitous patrolman’s back had been turned, I had paraglided down off the pillar, and landed behind a long pile of storage boxes in this lower part; there were a couple of them down here. But while they shielded me from the second guard’s gaze.... they did nothing to help me progress.

That guard wasn’t moving. He was just standing there so attentively.... How was I supposed to get past him?

It was a cruel joke that I could see a treasure chest across the way on the far side of the room. Yeah, right! This was too much. What could I—

....Bananas, Barta had said.

Hmph. There were bananas here and there throughout this terrible dungeon, but.... what could I do with those?

I looked to where the nearest bunch of them sat, on a shelf high off the floor, on the wall directly opposite the guard.

The single supporting strut beneath the shelf seemed very flimsily put together; it was almost as if it were made of two simple sticks, banded together to increase its length. The white wrapping in the middle of this shoddy construction looked as if.... it were secured by something extra.... like those little metal clasps used to tie off athletic bandaging....

Why it almost looked.... like an X.... Like a tiny.... little.... TARGET.

Well, that chamber back before had offered me a bow....

I shot the strut out from under the shelf. It collapsed, predictably enough, spilling the bananas to the floor.

And the Yiga—he gave the same human-sounding start I had heard the other give before, so low and mundane that it caught me off guard—and then he started tiptoeing his way toward the bananas on the floor—like as if he were afraid someone was gonna see him??—at each step emitting some stupid, careful little “houhp” that nearly threatened to make him sympathetic! Like as if he were being so SNEAKY or something???

He was distracted anyway. I ran for it.

I did not attempt to make the far treasure chest.

I just ran for it until I was safe around a corner.

There were strange rooms further in—some dead-ended stone corridor full of spikes—couldn’t go that way—and more furnished chambers full of Eastern architecture—er, Sheikah architecture—no, the Yiga version of it. Oh it was all rather similar anyway.

I once heard.... probably a cousin or something.... say the Japanese were rather fond of inserting themselves into their video games. I’ve seen it a few times, or what has looked like it.

....I enjoy it.

From there on in I reverted very tightly to my first and wonted way of letting Caution dictate all else. Big Yiga guards patrolled thickly about the constricted spaces. Everything was waiting, watching, crouching, hiding, hesitating, and timing. All my movements were supremely delicate and slow. Silent and threading half-calculatedly, half-madly through the holes left between their patrols. My arrows whizzed below shelves, knocking out supports and throwing out bait-bananas and luring in the great lumbering guardsmen who, for all the acrobatics and rapier-quick mystique suggested by their cohorts whom I had met in the field.... moved like land-bound seals and circus clowns. Always “hup-hup-hup”ing along until they reached the bananas I cast in their way, whereupon they would look around carefully, quickly pocket the fruit, and then sneak back to their original positions. Poor blackguards....

In a catwalk corridor above the largest chamber I was forcibly reminded of Donkey Kong when I caught sight of that pile of bananas at the far end. Sweet Hylia, that was a lotta bananas. Where did these guys get them all, anyway? Not in this desert....

And as I gazed down at the large chamber from all angles, thinking hard on how to proceed.... one of those ridiculous giant barrels—the kind you can hoist up over yourself and hide beneath—had the GALL to fall under my attention, sitting there so still and helpful and quiet and upright and perfect, offering itself as if I were insane enough to actually try to USE it! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. THE NERVE!

No, I was quite content, content as any mouse in a fox-den could be, up here on my completely separate level....

A handful of breathless skywalks on rickety rafters later, just for the sake of some treasure chests that ultimately would not affect the fate of the universe—I was able to displace the guard who protected the last room.

And down I floated—and away I dashed and hid, until his back was turned again.

The final chamber seemed a little more closed off and private than the others. There was a bed, and another loose Duplex Bow. And it somehow felt quieter in here....

There were more treasure chests too, stuck in the ground. I was a little afraid to Magnese them out, for the noise they would make, but I unearthed them all right with no problems. I don’t even remember what they contained.

Ha, but I think I know now what their purpose must have been....

Using Magnesis for the chests, I could see the Magnesability of one of the walls. And when I had checked and searched every corner and looted everything that wasn’t nailed down.... I swiveled the Magnesable wall on its central hinge, and proceeded through one of the two openings....

Mon and Masks

Afternoon of Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Mon and Masks

I considered as I started up at Cotera’s spring once again.

I had over ten thousand rupees.

And I’d been meaning to get those sneaky pants sooner or later.

So I paraglided down into town, walked into the clothing shop, Enchanted—which was fortunately still open at this late hour—and for eighteen hundred rupees bought the Stealth (or whatever) top, leggings and mask. Wearing the latter had my hair up in a man-bun with picks through it. Heh. I’d wondered whether the wig on the mannequin was just a wig or....

I guess what you see is what you get.

I stepped back out into the night. It’d been a while since I’d walked around Kakariko Village. Which was that road that led back to the shrine and the fairy fountain? (For that matter, who cares about roads when you’re paragliding everywhere anyway?) I’d need to have Cotera do up my new clothes....

But before I spied the shrine, I spied something else, something lit up against the dark sky, high on one of the hills overlooking the village.... somewhat colorful....

I scoped in.

It was Kilton’s balloon, I was sure of it.

I climbed up and sure enough, it was him.

His monster shop was open for business.

The long and short of it was this: If I brought him monster parts, he would pay me in Mon—

“What’s Mon?” I asked.

“It’s a new currency I’m developing to destabilize the economy and bring down the establishment,” or SOMETHING was his answer! XD Oh I wished Daniel could’ve heard this! First IKEA, now Bitcoin, what would the game throw at me next!? XD

“Just kidding,” Kilton said after a second, “There is no establishment in Hyrule.”

Oh gosh this guy. XD

—And with the Mon I earned, I could buy monstery products from him.

He showcased a weapon called the Spring-Loaded Hammer, which allegedly would knock smaller enemies flying. But among his wares, I was most interested in a couple of masks he had for sale! A Bokoblin Mask, and a Moblin Mask.

I COULD USE THEM TO BLEND IN WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE EXEMPLIFICATORS. C8 What the—

!?

SERIOUSLY MS WORD THAT IS LEGIT A PIECE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE? I WAS GUESSING.

*cough*

....

Exemplificators....

Yes. Right then.

The masks looked incredibly homespun: fabrics of only similar colors held together by broad and obvious whipstitching over wavy seams, buttons for eyes—and not quite symmetrical at that! But their descriptions claimed they would give me the ability to walk undetected among my foes.

They were slightly expensive, considering the monster parts I would have to expend, and I didn’t like the thought of such a restricted legal tender, but this was too good to pass up. I quickly scraped up a selection of horns and talons and eyeballs and wings from my pockets, sold them for 99 Mon exactly, and then used that sum to buy the Bokoblin mask, the cheaper of the two.

I tried it on, and ran around and swiveled the camera to have a good look at myself—the floppy ears waggled with my movements, heh! But no sooner had I come to a standstill than all at once I hunched my posture right over, bent my knees, splayed my arms and did the Bokoblin Stance Dance! OH MY GOSH!! XD XD XD

I got so excited to try the other that I didn’t bother to calculate the exact sum of 199 Mon, but simply swapped out monster parts to Kilton (reserving no less than thirty of any given kind to myself) until I had enough and change!

And then on went the Moblin mask!

And I stood a hulking giant with powerful broad shoulders.

OH these were too good! XD

I passed on the Spring-Loaded Hammer and the Monster Extract, but went straight to Cotera after all that to do up what clothes I could. The masks, sadly but not surprisingly, could not be enhanced. But I had plenty of stealth-based ingredients to bring my Stealth Ensemble all the way up to level three in no time.

And get this—the set bonus that came with having enhanced Stealth clothes.... was faster movement at night. Haha! I felt like a Ninja! XD I could see the difference in my pace. I was so fast! 8D

But I took off the headpiece and redonned the Bokoblin’s pig head as I made my way out onto the Sahasra Slope. And I swear that mask made me emanate little snorting noises as I ran....

I knew there were mounted Bokoblins down here somewhere, and I found them.

And they found me. I could see the little question marks appear above their heads as they looked in my general direction. At first I took cover, but.... well, I was wearing the mask, wasn’t I? I had to be brave for my first field test!

I came back out from behind the bush, and there were the question marks again, filling, filling, filling with yellow....

Wait don’t they usually fill with red?

....

I didn’t think about it at the time.

But the first question mark filled all the way, popped into an alarming exclamation point....! And the Bokoblin kicked his horse and started walking it toward me.

He didn’t charge. He didn’t blow any warning horn.

He just walked.

And his friend came, too. A red one.

A black Bokoblin and a red Bokoblin, just walking their horses around me in a circle. Looking at me.

Did you know that red Bokoblins have blue eyes, but that black Bokoblins have red eyes?

I wonder what color blue Bokoblins’ eyes are.

“Don’t look at the screen don’t look at the screen!” I urged David as he stepped into the room. He rolled his eyes as I continued, “Wait wait wait.... I made a new friend....” I changed Link’s wardrobe to the Champion’s Tunic and Hylian Trousers, and switched to my scope to look at the black Bokoblin without having Link on the screen. “Okay you can look.”

David turned.

“See my new friend?” I grinned. The Bokoblin was still looking at me, and I followed him through the scope as he circled his horse.

“What’s on your head?” David asked.

“How did you—? Oh the reflection....”

He’d noticed something off as he faced away from the TV—and looked into the reflecting glass of a picture frame.

“What’s on your head?” he grinned, curious to see.

“Are you sure? Spoilers? Nothing?”

“Show me!” he laughed.

I came out of the scope, and was once again a stooping, crouching Bokoblin pig-man.

“What?” David spat in incredulous hilarity.

“I’m a Bokoblin!” I said. :D

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game.”

And I told him about the Sneaky Suit, and its bonus of extra speed at night! I went into my menu to put on everything but the headpiece.

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game—”

“Wait what’re those?” David gasped as I exited the pause menu.

“What’re what?” I knew perfectly well what.

“Those clothes? What were those?”

“Spoilers!”

“I don’t care.”

“Hnnnngg....”

“Let me see!”

I paused again

“What are these?” He pointed between my Moblin Mask and my Barbarian Helm.

“Well, that one turns me into a Moblin and that’s my Barbarian Helm.” But I could’ve sworn I saw him wearing something like it once.... “You don’t have that?” I asked.

“No.”

Hm, then it must have been unique to the Lomei Labyrinth.

Well, he’d find it sooner or later.

“What the heeeck?” he croaked through a dumbfounded grin as I modeled the Moblin Mask within the menu. The big dumb tongue lolled around as I moved. XD

I put the Bokoblin mask back on before I unpaused, and we watched the Bokoblins continue to react to my presence as I wore it.

I stood. I walked. I ran.

I moved.

And wherever I went they followed me.

And then another test: I took out my sword, and killed the red Bokoblin in one swing. His horse ran off. And the black Bokoblin?

There were arrows. He fired off a few arrows. In my general direction. But they seemed somehow half-hearted. And after a while he stopped all together. Might’ve been because he lost sight of me when I dashed away over the hill.

He did manage to kill a goat, though. But I ran in and stole the meat before he could get it.

But he didn’t seem to care.

After all, I was just another Bokoblin.

....

These masks were the best things in the UNIVERSE. X-)