The Princess is a Nerd

Waking of Monday, March 18, 2019

The Princess is a Nerd

Looking for Shrines.

Bottom of Lake Totori. Nope. Just a lot of swimming and Stamina games. And dripping through the air shafts.

The Devil’s Own Highway, via Moza’s.... enchanting abode. Nope. Just some Koroks and coyotes.

Purifier Lake. Killed the Hinox and the Lynel. Rusty Shield finally gave out in a blaze of glory.

Nope.

The eastern skirts of the volcano. Found some ruins, the Shadow Hamlet Ruins.... But nope.

The northeastern shore of the mainland. Nope.

There was....

....

I needed a Korok Leaf....

Warped to the forest and picked one off the ground. Finally spoke to one Kula the Korok, who wanted to see an Ice Rod. Heh, another Nebb....

I was busy.

Boating around Lomei Labyrinth Island. Nope.

Almost drowned when the wind blew away my boat after I swam to the border. But there was ground to stand on at the island.

No shrines.... where are there more shrines....

Tried a bit around the northeastern Central Plains. Nope.

The northern skirts of the Gerudo Highlands, as far west as I could go. Nope.

The eastern edge of that bowl of jungle-forest on the way to the Spring of Courage. Nope.

Hateno.

....Cooked more meals. That Lynel was brutal.

Bed.

Sleep.

Good night.

Just kidding.

Came back late when everyone else had gone toward bed. To bed.

Checked out Strock Lake. Very strange winds. Lots of treasure, a few Koroks, butt-tons of Lizalfos and a heckton of trouble. But no shrines. Nope.

Checked out the western edges of the Central Plains. Nope.

Hem and haw. Shilly Shally.

....

I shall.

I warped to the shrine near Serenne. And.... I moved toward the memory.

Uh.

There was a memory near there, just to the south and east a bit. A memory by a tree on a grassy hill, with the back side of the Castle in the distance. I’d seen it before. Even stood in it. Why did I never mention it before? How disgusted I am with myself as a journaler....

Maybe it was when I was looking for Mei. That run all the way across the Elma Knolls....

I did not rely too heavily on my map, but decided to go by sight in the midst of the thunderstorm. Stalgoons came out to waylay me, but I am a quick-change artist.

The first batch I left behind.

The second batch popped out right before I could get to the tree. Ugh. I did not want to wear down my weapons dealing with them, but I didn’t want to view the memory with them hanging around either. They all three told me their life stories for like three or four hours....

“Dawn take you all and be stone to you,” I urged them under my breath.

And at five in the morning.... they did.

The Memory....

Zelda and I sat near the tree on a beautiful sunny day, Zelda taking pictographs of all the flowers she could find. We were just sitting. The flowers were so lovely....

“The flowers of Hyrule aren’t just beautiful,” she says, “But they are also incredibly useful.” She expounded on their various properties and their uses as herbs and ingredients.

And then.... she stopped, seeming to slow down and breathe as her eyes softened.

“This one here...”

And then I saw it.

“This one is called the silent princess. It’s a rare, endangered species. Despite all our efforts, we’re not yet able to grow them domestically.”

She stroked it so lovingly. I felt suddenly guilty for picking every single one I could get my mitts on....

“The princess thrives out here, in the wild.”

Her eyes still looked at it.... though they looked at a thousand things more that I couldn’t see.

Does she now.

“The best we can hope is that it continues to grow strongly out here in the wild.”

I looked over her shoulder at the flower.... before with an excited little yelp the princess lunged forward on her hands and knees like a child.

“Oh I can’t believe I’ve caught one! Look at this!” She turned back to me with her hands cupped in front of her. “Ta-da!” She opened them.

A green frog chirruped and puffed and wriggled in her palms.

“They say that ingesting this specimen can actually enhance certain attributes!” Her eyes became more focused than I’d ever seen them before; he speech quickened; it all seemed to come flooding out of her.

Oh . . . I breathed out a single, hard little sigh in the shape of a smile.

I could see now.

There you are, I thought.

The princess.... was a nerd.

“And we wouldn’t be in a controlled environment out here, but with your excellent physical condition,” she kept coming closer, “you would make the perfect candidate to test this theory!”

And closer!

“Go on!” she urged excitedly, thrusting the frog into my face as it hopped up from her palms!

“Taste it!”

I backed up.... gasping in.... hesitation for I dare not say disgust here why oh gosh she’s the princess....

Oh my gosh.... the princess.... is a NERD. X-)

After coming back to myself I took a portrait. Several portraits. Then culled. Narrowed. Until I was satisfied.

In flicking through my albums, I saw that the pictograph of Windblight Ganon.... it had four.... protrutions out the back, like Revali’s four braids.... and I felt.... sick....

Enough.

HATENO.

HOUSE.

BED.

It was 11:something in the morning. Slept ‘til noon.

Revali's Gale

Waking of Sunday, January 6, 2019 ~ 6

Revali’s Gale

Did I get all the chests? I thought I did....

But I wasn’t entirely sure, and so rocked Vah Medoh’s wings one last time to check, running up to the higher wingtip and leaping off in a paraglide toward the head, and—whope, chest on the tip of the nose.

It held a Giant Ancient Core.

“I’ll take that!” I triumphed.

After that it was another paraglide over to the lower wingtip, and then.... back to the dorsum. And the main control unit....

I righted the Beast one last time.

Still had that Rusty Shield on my back. I’d taken it all the way through this Divine Beast. Just thought I’d use it until it gave out. Trusty old thing....

Consistently.... quietly, stillingly, delicately and in small ways.... I was still amazed by the views. I could see everything from up here. Everywhere I’d been, everything I’d done. Vah Naboris. Vah Ruta. Vah Rudania. Rito Village and Totori Lake directly below.

This was the final Divine Beast.

Now.... for the main control unit.

It was sunset.

“Well I’ll be plucked,” Revali started. “You defeated him, eh?”

He walked elegantly toward me on Vah Medoh’s mossy back, a spirit free and unfettered, and haloed in flaming teal light.

“Well don’t preen yourself just for doing your job.”

Revali’s congratulations were.... Heh, he.... He hasn’t changed, I thought, Not a bit. He is still so pompous and arrogant.

And yet still he somehow found me worthy—me, this lowly, ground-crawling Hylian—to receive the sacred technique he had dubbed Revali’s Gale.

And he wound up.... that ball of holy light.... He even deigned to speed its conjuring with a forceful, “Hahhhh—!”

And then—fwooosh!—he speared the glowing sphere toward me where it entered my chest—and I was barely phased this time.

But its power manifested, and it caught me a bit off guard, as I was lifted off my feet! And that without the overpowering effect of the first time a Champion did this to me.... And the gale hurled me into the air, thrusting me into a backflip! But I came swiftly back down, released from Revali’s charm and left to the mercies of gravity, and landed firmly on two feet and one palm, and I looked up—

And LINK’S EYES.

The look on his face was just....

Revali enjoyed that, didn’t he? Tossing me up into the air like a sack of flour for a lark, just to see if I could land on my feet like a cat.

He was.... prideful to the last, as my form started to twinkle and sparkle away.... and as I could see it starting to happen....

I didn’t remember his words, just condescending words of encouragement, of direction. Of what I had to do. I had to defeat Calamity Ganon. I had to save Zelda.

And his last words.... “The Princess has been waiting an awfully long time.”

And I was gone.

And then that BOSS MUSIC—uh, music that is boss, not music for a boss.

That rugged, churning music started which heralded when a Divine Beast was on the move.... And Vah Medoh arced gracefully through the air and swooped down toward Rito Village. Its claws extended massively, and it clamped onto the jutting beak of the central rock spire, as if it had been a gigantic perch. Dust and rubble exploded from beneath the ponderous, clenching digits, but the Beak of the Crane held firm.

At rest from the air at last, Vah Medoh stood erect, its wings spread in enormous splendour, its head pointed toward the castle, and from the tip of its beak—the laser!

It blasted toward the castle with a fury that convincingly belied its intangibility.

All the same.... dreadful things waited on the other side of that beam....

Revali’s spirit stood high up on Vah Medoh’s form.

And here, only now, when he was alone, did Revali admit to himself that Link did get to the Divine Beast without his help. And he defeated Ganon’s demonic apparition. Link did do something he couldn’t.

And he brought himself to finally admit that.... “I was wrong about...”

—I just.... waited to hear this—

“... how lucky you would be.”

No credit!

Still he gives me no credit!

And.... a part of me laughed inside, in resignation.

That was all right.

He addressed Vah Medoh.

“This will be the perfect vantage point from which to deliver your final strike against Calamity Ganon.”

The laser’s gleam melted into the brilliant sunset sky.

“We have been artfully patient for the past 100 years,” he went on. And his voice simpered just the tiniest bit as he added, “You won’t suffer a feather to wait just a few more moments.”

I came back down on Revali’s Landing.

It was still sunset.

A muffled something sounded in my ears....

And then....

“Link... Link.”

I could hear it clearly. It was the Princess’ voice.

“Thanks to you, all of the Divine Beasts have returned to us and the spirits of the four Champions have been set free. We will all be awaiting your clash with Ganon at Hyrule Castle.”

So that was it, then. It was done.

“Free the Divine Beasts,” Impa had said so long ago....

It was done.

....

I took a pictograph.

Owa Daim Elusive

Waking of Sunday, January 6, 2019 ~ 5

Owa Daim Elusive

The main control unit of Divine Beast Vah Medoh was situated up on the broad, mossy back of the bird, right in the center of the torso. These topmost bulkheads, open to the sky, were generally flat and level but for a step or two up or down between the different body segments. And there were fans set into the floor—huge, grated fans that generated terrific updrafts.

I had explored up here during my searching for the terminals, but there hadn’t been much more to find except a bit more Malice and a few more chests. No, this was to be the arena.

All along the mossy top of the entire wingspan was a weathered old parade of crumbling stone columns, cubicle, seamed, and cracked. Their broad, patchy arrangement seemed to indicate there may have been more of them at some point, but.... open to the elements, I could see how some of them could have been lost over time. They couldn’t be Stasised and they weren’t Magnesable, but they looked like they could provide good, albeit rapidly expendable cover....

There didn’t seem to be anything especially damaging to bump into out here....

I had just imagined so many times: if I were to design a boss-fight based on the Stasising ability of Monk Owa Daim, I would have made it a mad game of toro, playing chicken with the devil, Stasising him right before he collided, and then quickly dropping out of the way, leaving him to plow into whatever damaging hazard you were previously blocking.

But the environment seemed benign here....

But then, so had been the environments in other Divine Beasts; maybe the blighting Calamity would provide the hazard....

But I did not think overly much of this as I made my way up to the main control unit. The music was strung so tightly now, pulling through my core like an aching sinew.

I placed the Slate against the control unit, heard the clack of contact, and—there was not much hesitance this time before RHOOOSH! Up swirled the monster....

I watched this one’s proportions carefully as it coalesced into its hideous, dripping-magenta self.... Its arms were definitely larger....

Larger like Rito wings....

“Be careful, Link!” Revali’s voice sounded, “That monstrosity is one of Ganon’s own. Don’t let it defeat you! It defeated me 100 years ago, but only because I was winging it.”

For the first time, the rapier seemed to waver, its sheen revealing a desperate dinge as I heard the regret in his voice.

“Its aim is dead-on. Watch yourself!”

But Windblight Ganon, I found.... did not lead his target.

What lessons the humble Octorok could teach.

I only ran to avoid the monster’s projectiles, and cast Bomb Arrows back where I could. And whenever I did down him for a moment, it was difficult to get close enough to have it out with my blade. The length, the space.... it was all so much bigger and stretched out, when the enemy was specifically a flyer.

I’d thought.... for sure.... Stasis. But....

His projectiles were moving too fast. Difficult to lock onto. And even if I could.... what would I be able to do with them?

And as for him....

I did manage to lock him in the air once—but the charm never holds very long for creatures so powerful.... And I didn’t want to face him too long, lest I got shot.

I wanted to keep moving.

I wanted to be evasive.

So did Owa Daim, apparently.

What was I supposed to do?

Owa Daim....?

I just ran to avoid his projectiles.... and when he took especially great affront at my retaliations and gained a second wind, I just ran to avoid the new, strange flying drones he conjured—these ones came at you four or five at a time!

I just ran.

Maybe if I’d stopped to think.... But I didn’t.

I only noted that Windblight Ganon continued to take damage from my Bomb Arrows.

And so.... I just stuck with what worked.

And I fought.

Maybe there was a more elegant solution, but....

I never found it.

I just pelted him with Bomb Arrows.

I didn’t even remember to use one of my many Lynel Bows. Just the Royal Bow that was already in my hands.

And I killed him.

I defeated Windblight Ganon, and it suffered an inglorious demise against a boy with a paraglider and a common bow. And a Rusty Shield.

Even so, I felt I should have been cleverer than this....

What was I supposed to have done, Owa Daim?