Return to Serenne

Waking of Saturday, November 3, 2018

Return to Serenne

I’d heard from somewhere, maybe somewheres, very probably including Madman Joseph, that there were 900 Koroks in this game.

I wondered just how deep my pockets could go, or would even need to go. Would I break through some kind of boundary with Hestu, once each of my inventories took up an entire screen? Would I reach hammerspace?

I wandered out from Tera’s fountain and into the desert. I’d caught unintended glimpses of map screens in my researching for finessing the log; the Korok Seed icons were practically tripping over each other. But where were they all hiding in this wasteland?

I trekked all over the desert, all over the highlands, killed the Lynel.... I found a few more Koroks.... But.... where were they all hiding?

Done with the puzzling Koroks for the moment I finally paraglided down to the Gerudo Canyon Stable, and took out.... Dragmire. Hadn’t ridden him in a while. I wanted him to carry me now, all the way to the Serenne Stable. Faron was found and mapped. It was time to head northwest.

We hit the road, stopping only a few times to rescue people—Regan, Chabi....

Near the Coliseum I bought all of Botrick’s arrows; I was always happy to do business with him. And at the Outskirt Stable I stopped to sell some more meat to Trott; he was always happy to do business with me.

But I didn’t continue right away. There was one other person I’d been meaning to speak to here at this stable....

Aliza stood out in the dappled shade of the trees by the road. “So did you find the Hero of Legend?” she asked when I approached. She was excited.

My choices of response made me laugh—it was either “I am he.” or “Bye.” XD

“I am he,” I said. Lol so stoic....

Aliza was.... surprised! She’d been waiting so long, but.... I wasn’t at all what she expected. It was a shame, she told me, because I wasn’t even her type! But she gave me something she had been saving for me anyway—a Star Fragment.

Well that was friendly! :)

“It feels SO good to finally check that off my bucket list!” she finished.

Then when I spoke to her again.... “You must be really busy, saving the world and all. How about instead of talking to random strangers, you think a little more about doing your job, yeah?”

Oof wow. XD

We rode on, not meeting a whole lot of other people on the road except for a guy named Savelle at the north end of the Breach of Demise. He had a cool helm. Made me want to get on enhancing my Soldier’s Armor....

We reached Serenne Stable in the ten o’clock hour where I boarded Dragmire and spent the night . . . . and when I woke up in the morning it was raining.

But here I took a break to eat dinner and then to watch a movie with friends. It was a little after Halloween, but we still enjoyed a corny run of Spaced Invaders. But in the opening credits I thought I recognized that name.... Ariana.... Ariana Richards.... And as the movie progressed and we came to the part with the young girl OH MY GOSH IT WAS LEX—she was so little!—was this her breakout role....?

The Eldest Fairy

Waking of Saturday, August 4, 2018

The Eldest Fairy

I warped back to Outskirt once again to hit up Trott.

Plus three hundred rupees.

Then to Goron City to see if Ramella had changed her mind, but she still wanted Sapphires.

No way.

From there I warped.... to Gut Check Rock. Perhaps there wasn’t a plethora of rupees this way, but being on the volcano had reminded me....

The last time I had crossed the Deplian Badlands, my shrine-detector had not been active. I wanted to comb the north skirt of the volcano again—I thought there MUST be another shrine somewhere that I had missed! For it was a difficult area to get to, and bordered only by the shrines at Gut Check rock far to the east, and the dark Thyphlo Ruins far to the west—and that shrine wasn’t even worth warping to for the dark way you would have to make out of the maze and over the bog! Dang you, Ketoh Wawai, what were you thinking?

I started westward from Gut Check Rock and climbed up and down all over the mountainside. I killed overly-ready supplies of baddies and collected tons of loot; I got a great pictograph of the Eldin Great Skeleton for those chumps at that Akkala Stable; I nicked off two shards of Dinraal’s horn! didn’t play with the Lynels, though, nope—but still.... I could not find another shrine.

Deplian Badlands.... Too bad even for any Sheikah monks?

....!

Hm. Only now do I consider how the cliff descends into the northern chasm.

I wonder what’s down there....

Although.... doesn’t my sensor detect in lateral directions just the same despite any differences in altitude? Surely I would have heard something already.... Though I’ve never put that to a rigorous test....

As I meandered back to Goron City on foot, I was at least grateful for one thing—there had been a HECKTON of rare ore deposits on the north side of the mountain. And with my new supply of baddie-bits I went to visit Tanko again and sold him a bunch of stuff, and even some Topaz.

That kicked me over ten thousand.

Okay.... hoo.

I warped back to the Gerudo Great Skeleton, and the Great Fairy Tera’s cocoon.

“I got the stuff,” I said, “....This has not been easy.”

I held it out....

The way they always grab the money from you—and just like that—

My hard-sought ten thousand rupees disappeared.

I was poor again, in goods and money.

It was the thinnest I’d felt in a while.

The Great Fairy was rejuvenated, and her cocoon pulsated and opened into a white flower with pink-orange speckles!

And up came Tera AND HER HAIR WAS SO BIG it just wouldn’t STOP—VICTORIAN—WHAT A POMPADOUR! White hair, looming in a HUGE and luscious poof to lean into a dip on her right side—and she had bigger fairy-fin ornaments behind her ears than I had seen on any of her sisters! <3

She was decadent.

She gave a watery cough before properly introducing herself as the eldest of the Great Fairy Sisters. And she said that she had seen my efforts from within her bud.

Well that was heartening. :]

She said that she sees everything. In fact, she said, she was going to predict what I was thinking at that moment!

...

...

And after a moment she said, “I bet you’re probably thinking, ‘Can’t we just get to the part where she enhances my clothes?’”

Haaa lawl. |D

“What an impatient person,” she said. But she impressed that she really did appreciate what I had done for her. And she said that now.... she could enhance my clothes TO THE MAX.

But.... I’d noticed this pattern with the clothing enhancements. My wardrobe was becoming quite extensive, and whenever I took something to a Great Fairy for an enhancement, the item was returned to me waaaay at the back of my inventory. This made it a little difficult to keep the various sets near each other and together, but I was managing that pretty well.... mostly.

I had never employed the Sort button within those menus.... Not on purpose that I can recall anyway. But you know how it is when you accumulate so many messy piles—you know where everything is.... until you clean.

But this was getting to be a lot of messy piles....

Hrmmmrmm....

Maybe I’d try it.... I walked toward the shrine until I got an autosave, after which I entered my menus and sorted my clothes.

Heh, sounds like a chore I’d been neglecting.

I observed the results, which came in two orientations: one by body part.... and oh! one by sets! :) Well that was nice! Perhaps I could utilize that....

Oh I should just do it, I thought. Besides, Tera could work on seventeen of the forty-two items of clothing I had.... I may as well.... eh?

But.... I just.... couldn’t. Not yet.

I paused again, reloaded from just before I had sorted and kept my messy closet.

Mmmmm but to start I would let her enhance the Climber’s Bandana—that one wasn’t part of any set that I had....

It was already up to the third level, so this should have maxed it out then.

So I turned it over to Tera and she leaned in close and HER MOUTH WAS OPEN WIDE AND OH MY GOSH SHE JUST GRABBED ME IN HER GIANT FIST AND SNOODLED ME SO HARD AGAINST HER SWEETLOVING FACE AND THEN PLUNGED BACK DOWN INTO HER WATER INSIDE HER FLOWER WHAT—

Link’s scream so quickly faded away and the screen went black.

My mind instantly conjured up the deep blue, rippling, colorful world inside her home, and I wondered.... What would I see? Inside her flower?

But the screen only came back a moment later, above ground as ever.

When I came to, I was lying face down on the petally platform where would I normally speak to any Great Fairy.

I got up with a groan.

My Climber’s Bandana was enhanced.

“Want me to enhance any others?” she asked me in some such words of her own verbiage.

And I would have imagined the answer to be NOPE NO THANKS, THANKS BUT NO.

OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA EAT ME.

But.... I upgraded a bunch of clothes anyway. And those pieces ended up all out of order in my inventory but.... that was okay. I couldn’t complain with the results; they were so strong.

“Sometimes I’m so good it’s scary,” Tera said.

All The World's a Pawn Shop

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 6

All The World’s a Pawn Shop

Rupees. I needed rupees.

My first stop was Trott at the Outskirt Stable; he was always willing to pay a hundred rupees for a hunk of gourmet meat! But.... he would only do it thrice a day. But that was three hundred rupees more than I had. That put me just over a thousand.... Only nine thousand to go....

....

At least it wasn’t over nine thousand.

Next was Goron City. I knew there was a Gerudo wandering around there who would pay top-rupee for certain ores.... and I found her—Yamella, no, Ramella, that was her name.

But she wanted my Sapphires—and ten at a time at that! I couldn’t split with ten of those! What if I needed them for something else? What if a Great Fairy could do something with them?

I couldn’t cut a deal with Ramella.

So I went to the Goron City General Store, and had a visit with Tanko. I skimmed my supplies to him bit by bit BY BIT until I had 8,039 rupees in my wallet.

But there was a lot that I just wasn’t willing to part with. Like gemstone ores, though I spared as many Ambers and Opals as I would. But Rubies, Sapphires and Diamonds? Those were just too hard to come by.

8,039.... That was pretty close....

But.... I was getting tired....

I needed to be going to bed for real....

Another Deal in Contraband

Waking of Thursday, August 2, 2018

Another Deal in Contraband

I’d already beaten the Divine Beast Vah Naboris.

But it wasn’t until this Monday that I remembered the Four Slate Functions’ correspondence to the Four Divine Beasts.

Cryonis for Vah Ruta.

Bombs for Vah Rudania.

Magnesis.... Magnesis was the corresponding function for Vah Naboris.

And that just left....

Stasis.

Owa Daim, what in the world does your Divine Beast have in store....

I was in the desert. Trying to find Pokki.

I ran through the Iceway Pillars to the Icehouse, gathering hecktons of Safflina on the way, but getting no new information from the sleepy Anche.

David asked what I was doing.

“I’m looking for Pokki.”

“Who’s Pokki?”

“She’s been missing,” I say.

“What are you trying to do?”

“Well, I really just want to get the password and get into the clothing shop. The armor shop.” Whatever it was in there....

And David LAUGHED at me! Uh! Why, David?

“You STILL haven’t done that?” he drawled.

I fumed beneath my skin and ran back to Gerudo Town.

I spoke to everyone in the canteen—that poor Gerudo, Deltan, was still crying over whatever stupid voe had wronged her. But the lounge ladies still wouldn’t tell me their password.

I swiped at them with a giant Guardian Axe.

I threw the barrel.

“They won’t tell me,” I said.

“Are you suuuure?” says David.

David you’re so freaking smug sometimes.

I looked around the lounge.... I had tried getting up on the roof and eavesdropping from there, but—

. . . .

There was a window.

I noticed a window in the wall behind them.

A window to the adjoining structure.

I could feel David’s.... regard, as I had centered the view on it, and then more intensely as I leapt down to the street to make my way into the other building.

And as Link is just SO wont to do, I busted in the door, caring not a button for whoever was inside or whether I was welcome. I just made my way over to that danged decorative grate....

The password was G, S, C, and a Diamond shape. I think it stood for Gerudo Secret Club or something like that.... I didn’t commit it to memory. I just booked it straight back to that door in the rear of the clothing shop.

This was it!

I gave the correct password, and Greta let me in.

The door opened onto an abrupt wall—I’d come into the side of a narrow hallway. This opened up further to my left. The air was filled with a strange purple haze like perfumed heat....

I walked the length of the passage to the dimly-lit room beyond, and saw.... something.... mounted on some mannequins on the far side, what the clothes were those? Glowing skeletons like Day of the Dead....

“Oh, haven’t seen you around here before,” said Greta. But she welcomed me all the same. She told me this was the only place in town to find Gerudo clothes for voe, which was illegal.

Oh dear, contraband, is it? >:)

Greta continued, “But I’ve never seen a voe disguise himself as a vai, like you have.”

I jolted backward in shock!

“Don’t worry,” she said, “I won’t give away your secret.” She said she had plenty of secrets herself, and I gathered that if we could just let each other be with whatever we wanted to hide, we’d get along famously.

Turning from the Skeleton set, I looked behind me at some mannequins I hadn’t seen clearly from the hallway. They held DESERT VOE TROUSERS, SPAULDER, AND HEADBAND—AND THEY OFFERED HEAT RESISTANCE!

THIS COULD BE MY DESERT GEAR! :D

Mmmm but I didn’t have enough on me to buy the Desert Gear and the Skeleton Suit. I needed to choose.... What were those Skeleton Clothes for....?

I hemmed, and decided that.... the Desert Gear was more readily useful, and so I bought that first. All of it.

As for the Skelesuit.... excuse me, the Radiant Suit.... its three components were eight hundred rupees apiece, of which I could only afford one at the moment. But what in the world was its purpose? I dared say you couldn’t very well hide in it, not with it glowing so brightly....

And then all I could think of was that Halo developer, remarking on the Flaming Helmet you could earn. Sure, it didn’t make for very good camouflage, and everybody on the map could see you, but on the other hand.... You got to run around with your head on fire!!

Hmmmm.

May as well start with the head.

I bought the Radiant Mask. But then.... agh, confound it all—not wanting to leave the set incomplete, I fished around in my pockets for things to sell back to Greta, until I had enough to buy the other two pieces.

When I was done, I had all the Desert Voe Gear, the complete Radiant Suit.... and eighty-three rupees to my name.

That felt dirt poor—hadn’t been there in a while.

I said goodbye to Greta, and left town to try on my new clothes—since I couldn’t very well try them on in town. I didn’t even want to attempt it in the sealed-off confines of Greta’s shop! That Merina and Dorrah.... I didn’t trust them!

Outside in the night sand, the Radiant Suit did look pretty awesome glowing in the dark! And the Desert Voe Gear looked right manly after running around in that sirwal.

Of course, new clothes could mean only one other thing—time for a visit to Cotera.

After the warp I shot a few Blupees on my way into her woods to pick up a little extra money, but.... there wasn’t much to go on there.

I had Cotera do up my Desert Gear one level, but I didn’t have enough Luminous Stone to level up the Radiant Suit all at once.

(Just by the nature of the menu, and its placement of recently upgraded items.... I’ve become rather partial to doing them in sets.)

Looked like I’d need to go mining again. But Luminous Stone was easy enough to find.

I wandered Kakariko Village until I chanced upon Cottla, whereupon I was FINALLY able to play games with her to her satisfaction, which brought the long-suspended sidequest to a close, and that was nice.

I think she gave me a carrot or something in return.

Mmmm I needed money....

A lightbulb struck, and I warped over to the Outskirt Stable. Trott was still happy to buy Gourmet Meat from me for a hundred rupees a pop—though he did stop after three cuts of it. I guessed there was only so much even he could take in a day. But that was all right.

And then who should I see over in the shade by the manger but.... Zyle!

Zyle that guy I had sold the horse to! :D

I went up to speak to him, and he thanked me again for my help in getting him a horse. He really appreciated it. I was his hero—

Where was the horse, Zyle? :D

He continued to talk a little longer about it than he meant, and then—“....plus I made a niiiice profit selling it to—”

What? D:<

Zyle stopped himself and looked at me. “I mean—”

HE SOLD IT? >8[

He spun some lame tale—

WHO’D YOU SELL IT TO, ZYLE? D8<

You opportunistic, TENDERFOOTED CHARLATAN! ಠ⩄ಠ

The Ultimate Game

Waking of Saturday, October 28, 2017 ~ 3

The Ultimate Game

It was strange remembering that there were other climes I loved. There were too many mysteries on the volcano; I wasn’t ready to leave them unsolved.

But at length I paraglided down to the Foothill Stable. There was something I’d seen David do in his game.... maybe it was the only thing that could get me to finally come down, for I wanted to try it, too....

~

David had been at the Outskirt Stable. I had directed him there and told him there was a man named Trott who would buy his Raw Gourmet Meat for a hundred rupees a cut.

And as he visited around with the other people at the stable, he came to that girl by the stalls and manger, and she made the offer to style his horse’s mane and tail.

“They can change the mane and tail design?” David blurted through an open grin.

“Yeah,” I said, and then added wryly, “Man, you really don’t talk to anyone, do you?”

David laughed.

I guess we’re each ahead of the other in our own ways.

I myself hadn’t even looked at the mane designs. But David did then, with.... Shooper I think was that particular horse’s name.

There were so many fun and amazing styles.... XD

~

Now at the Foothill Stable below the volcano, I took out Brown. I knew I could have just warped, but....

I like riding the roads.

I rode Brown aaaall the way to Kakariko Village, by way of the Sahasra Slope, and then aaaall the way to the Outskirt Stable.

But.... I couldn’t bring myself to do up his mane and tail. He just looks so good the way he is!

Thrice, however, I gave a long mane and tail, reminiscent of his wild upbringing.

And Memory? Mmm with his royal tack he did not look out of place wearing braids. Ehhhhhh BECAUSE.

And as long as I had a mount under me, thinking of new lands and new stables.... I decided it was time I took the road out across and beyond Digdogg Suspension Bridge.

And so Memory and I set out toward the desert canyon....

But we hadn’t been traveling for more than five or ten minutes—game minutes no less—before my swiveling view gave me a glance of Satori Mountain.

It was lit up.

The sun wasn’t even down.

I looked at the clock: the time was five pm, and the whole of the night lay ahead of me.

....

I brought Memory to a screaming halt, dashed back to the stable, and boarded him again.

I wanted to try and catch those Blupees at their meeting!

When I warped to Satori Mountain it was raining, and I shivered in the cold, but my Warm Doublet was enough for that.

I hiked up the slippery slope to the three-way crevasse at the mountain’s peak, and creeping forward to the highest split, I once again saw those little blue rabbitkabobs visiting with each other in the ghostly teal haze.

I was able to snap their pictograph this time. Blupees, my Compendium said.

Huh, from David’s mention of their name I’d thought of it spelled ‘blupies’ in my head.

Ah well.

I edged toward them, wondering how they would react—

There was something else in the clearing beyond.

Big. And glowing.

Crystal-blue like the rabbits.

Was this the Beast that Quince had told me about so long ago?

I snapped this one’s pictograph, too. And—

The Lord of the Mountain, my Compendium called it.

Huh. o.o

This was that beast.

It pawed the ground like a horse, looking about like a nervous deer, and its face.... made me think of an owl for some reason. Strange antlers sprang from its crown.

The ultimate game, I thought.

Wasn’t that what somebody had said?

Satori Mountain was the place to find game.

And this Lord of the Mountain.... wasn’t this the ultimate game?

I nocked an Ice Arrow, took aim, and let fly.

The thing reared and froze and I was paragliding in. The nearby blupees scattered and disappeared. I hit the beast again and again while the ice held, but when it finally broke free—

It vanished.

It was gone.

All the blupees were gone, too.

And the night was clear; the teal haze evaporated, and I could see the stars.

It seemed the mountain wouldn’t light up anymore, if that one got scared off.

The Entry With No Name

Waking of Saturday, April 22, 2017 ~ 6

The Entry With No Name

“They’re ALL DEAD ENDS??” I howled.

I sputtered, trying to think. What had I missed? WHERE WAS THE LAKE?

“No, there was still that other split,” said David, “Open your map.”

I did.

“Right here.” He pointed to some squiggle of map line north of where I was.

I had no idea what he was talking about.

(Actually it wasn’t until the next day (technically later that same day) that I realized he meant that first split: between the flow that followed the map line southward, and the flow that wandered off west between the tall cliffs.)

(I was very, very tired.)

I ran around. Somehow there was stable music. David might have steered me toward it. The Outskirt Stable. To think there were people living so close to that dread coliseum....

My head was full. I couldn’t take in anymore.

I met a guy named Trott. He was so exhausted.

Ha, me too, buddy.

He worked at the stable, but the stable meals he said were all vegetarian. He really needed some meat to help him feel better.

Gourmet Meat he asked for. Maybe we could share it he said. I think? Did he?

Did we even share it?

I don’t know.

But I did have one Gourmet Meat. The one and only Gourmet Meat I’d ever harvested. Fresh from the wolves of the Elma Knolls.

I handed it over.

I’ll just say we each ate half and felt like kings.

I like that story better. <3

Another of Staysi’s Rumor Mills was inside on a table. Volume three this time, and it spoke of the mystical creatures known as Koroks.

Hm.

That’s pretty neat.

I also spoke to a lady who stood under a nearby tree—was it raining at the time? She was liable to be struck by lightning if she wasn’t careful....

But she just clapped her hands and jumped for joy and said, “I knew the Hero of Legend would meet me under THIS TREE.”

Ever unassuming, I just gave her a bleary “What?”

“Oh,” she said, “Come to think of it, you do look a bit scrawny to be the Legendary Hero.”

Scrawny?

“And you don’t seem to have his legendary weapon, either....”

Aw geez would this broad just lay off, I was doing the best I knew how....

Another person at the stable told me about Satori Mountain, and the “Lord of the Mountain” that lived there. Hm, may have been Quince’s glowing beast....

Satori Mountain was that dun, conical mountain I had seen through my scope. The one with the occasional glow at its crest at night. I was quite close to it here at the Outskirt Stable.

And I could see there was a shrine up there, too....

Yet another person told me about some place nearby where I could find an elusive pure-white horse. He guessed it might have been descended from a horse that once belonged to the Royal Family.... and he asked me if I could bring it to him.

I agreed without even thinking.

People told me what was around. Hyrule Ridge. Rito Village? Was it here that someone mentioned a Rito Village?

Where even was I, that a Rito Village could be so close?

And what was Hyrule Ridge?

I didn’t retain any of the directions people gave me. Everything went in one ear and out the other.

I wanted to start back up the river, keep looking for Mei, trusting in David’s imagined split that I could still follow, but....

It was so late....

And I was so, so tired.

I had to think about tomorrow. I had to go to bed. I had to get up in five hours to get ready for church. The sun would be up soon anyway, oh gads....

I’d done three shrines along the way I think.... no towers, though.... But no matter, I just wanted to hurry....

But wouldn’t maps prove so useful?

“Hey what’s that? That tower down there?”

David kept taking the most transparent SUDDEN NOTICE of this tower on the plain that he wanted me to go climb.

He’d told me earlier that that one had been.... most intimidating.

Just scary.

Do I go back up the river? Or do I do the intimidating tower to get another map? Or do I climb Satori Mountain? Or do I chase a white horse?

All of Hyrule was my oyster.... I mean.... my shellblade....

But....

But I needed to sleep. I needed it....

I had to stop.

I had to stop.

I wandered back to the Outskirt Stable....

And booked a bunk.

And slept.

And in my dreams, the Princess’ voice came back to me again, warning me it was another Blood Moon, and I had to be careful....

Never slept through one of those before. Excluding the previous century of course.

And in my actual dreams, in my actual bed, I was fighting a lizalfos, and I killed it, and its awesome weapon and AWESOMER shield went tumbling down, waaaay far away from me, into this sunny little grassy dell beneath a tall grey cliff, where no fewer than FOUR Sheikah Shrines sat very close to each other amid the shallow pools of water at the bottom.

I had been hunting EVERYWHERE for that shield....

I ran down, rooting here and there to find it, batting away more lizalfos and caring nothing for activating the shrines—I WANTED THAT SHIELD.

“That shield is an army of swear words,” I grumbled in my sleep.