Errands in Zorana

Evening of Tuesday, September 4, 2018 ~ 2

Errands in Zorana

It was time to smarten up—I could at least aim for what materials I wanted. And Luminous Stone from Zora’s Domain was a pretty easy place to start.

I wandered around to Upland Zorana—finally spying on my way, via Magnesis, the Ceremonial Trident at the bottom of the channel beneath the western bridge. Trello had said it had fallen down there....

But I only took a mental note of its location and continued up into the hills, ranging all over, collecting Luminous Stone.

On a paraglide back down toward the Domain proper, I saw that Kilton had parked his balloon near Ralis Pond, so I went to pay him a visit.

Upon approaching him I noticed that the back of his hood (he always faced away from the counter at first) seemed to have.... a hole in it? What?

So I spoke to him, wondering if he had anything new.

And LO AND BEHOLD his hot new item tonight was the LYNEL MASK.

And he confided to me that he had recently nearly been killed while studying actual Lynels to design this mask! Well that explained the hole then! XD

Lynel Mask?

YES PLEASE!

I sold him monster bits for Mon—999 Mon!—and then exchanged again and the Lynel Mask was mine.

SWEET.

I tried it on right away—and laughed so hard—for similar to how he had done with other masks, Link immediately took on the stance and air of its.... what was that word.... exemplificator....

He stood up tall and puffed out his chest and held back his arms like some beefy bodybuilder posing for a film ad! XD Oh my gosh.... XD

Kilton warned me, though.... Lynels were smart. The mask might not fool them for long.

Well I’d just burn that bridge when I came to it then. :)

With my pockets full of Luminous Stone and my Lynel Mask in tow, I sailed down to try and pick up that Ceremonial Trident....

It was a bit of a chore to reach it. But only because I so often forget and neglect the Sheikah Slate power of Cryonis. With a little persistence I was able to ice-bridge my way out to the center of the channel, grab the Trident and get back to solid ground.

But I still didn’t know how to plunge it into the pedestal at the Veiled Falls. I spoke to Trello, I spoke to Laruta, I spoke to Keye.... Keye gave the same demonstration he always had: you jump up high and then slam your spear into the ground.

But I had already tried that with Lady Mipha’s Lightscale Trident, to no effect. And I gave it a go with the Ceremonial Trident. Still nothing.

What was I doing wrong?

I didn’t like damaging these weapons....

Jump up high.... jump up high.... Did I have to go higher? There was a way for that....

I put on my Zora Armor and jetted straight up the Veiled Falls, bursting out the top to hang in the air by my paraglider. Then down, down, down I floated....

I took care to center myself directly over the pedestal. And when I was still high up, but not so high that I’d injure myself.... I let go and plunged down with the weapon....

I didn’t hit dead center, but it was enough.

The Dagah Keek Shrine rumbled out of the earth just up near Ralis Pond!

Well that would make an excellent waypoint up into the hills! It would save a long jog up the stairs and across the bridge anyway.

I entered the shrine and received the monk’s blessing. Excellent.

Trello later mentioned something about a similar effect the Lightscale Trident might have on.... Mipha’s pedestal?

What like the one in the square?

Which I considered and.... might have even tried once or twice.... but....

I don’t like damaging these spears.

Further Distraction

Waking of Sunday, November 26, 2017

Further Distraction

I went out onto the Sahasra Slope. There had recently been a Blood Moon.

It was time to hunt Guardians.

The one in the gorge—that first terrible moving one I had ever seen—went down without a hitch. Something even happened as I sported with it on the rocky slope—it momentarily tipped over backward, so that I could see a glowing orb of some kind set into its underside—a weak spot?

I would have to research that further.

....Research. What a laughable euphemism.

The second one, across the gorge, was a little more frightening, but I was able to take it down just the same. My Ancient Gear collection was mounting up....!

The third one back toward the village however.... Night was falling just as I engaged that one, and some Stalcreatures burst out of the earth at precisely the wrong moment.

I lost an Ancient Arrow.

And the Guardian was hammering me—

I warped back to Kakariko. Blasted Stalkoblins!

No....

No, it was another case of lack of situational awareness, that’s what it was.

I looked up from the shrine’s warp pad, and saw a familiar canvas peeping between the peaks across the valley.

Kilton was back.

I ran and sailed and climbed my way over to him, and first snapped his pictograph—that soldier from the East Akkala Stable wanted to have that.

But I realized the picture was only of Kilton’s back, and the beak-like tatter of his hood. So I drew his attention so that he turned around, and snapped another pictograph.

The quest-exclamation-mark was still affixed to the back-picture in my album, though. Hm.

Eh, whatever.

Kilton had some new wares for me to look at—a Lizalfos Mask.... and a Monster Saddle and Monster Bridle. OuO

I was more careful with my Mon-accruing this time, trading easily replaceable monster bits for just enough currency to pay for those three items.

Heh, the Lizalfos Mask is great. My head twitches just like a bird’s. XD

But I also wanted to see how that new tack looked!

Wanting to keep to the road, I only warped to the Dueling Peaks Stable, wondering if perhaps I could change tack there.

It was raining when I arrived. Hino griped to me that he couldn’t see the moon in this weather. But what was more, everyone was inside! I couldn’t ask anyone about my horse’s gear.

So I warped on ahead to the Outskirt Stable; the weather was clear there.

I had the girl put the Monster Tack on Thrice. (I was sure he’d be okay with it. He’s been around Bokoblins before after all.)

It looked wicked! OuO XD

Tattered and ragged, patched and uneven, homespun as if by spiders from a forgotten cave on Halloween night.... with scary polo wraps to match! C8

It was cool! XD

And Thrice’s entire head was covered—except for one ear, I think—and he had those bulging mesh eye-covers—and mean-looking kind of plates down the back of his neck—it looked so scary! XD

Hah, I’d love to see David’s reaction when he sees me riding with that gear! ^_^

Mon and Masks

Afternoon of Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Mon and Masks

I considered as I started up at Cotera’s spring once again.

I had over ten thousand rupees.

And I’d been meaning to get those sneaky pants sooner or later.

So I paraglided down into town, walked into the clothing shop, Enchanted—which was fortunately still open at this late hour—and for eighteen hundred rupees bought the Stealth (or whatever) top, leggings and mask. Wearing the latter had my hair up in a man-bun with picks through it. Heh. I’d wondered whether the wig on the mannequin was just a wig or....

I guess what you see is what you get.

I stepped back out into the night. It’d been a while since I’d walked around Kakariko Village. Which was that road that led back to the shrine and the fairy fountain? (For that matter, who cares about roads when you’re paragliding everywhere anyway?) I’d need to have Cotera do up my new clothes....

But before I spied the shrine, I spied something else, something lit up against the dark sky, high on one of the hills overlooking the village.... somewhat colorful....

I scoped in.

It was Kilton’s balloon, I was sure of it.

I climbed up and sure enough, it was him.

His monster shop was open for business.

The long and short of it was this: If I brought him monster parts, he would pay me in Mon—

“What’s Mon?” I asked.

“It’s a new currency I’m developing to destabilize the economy and bring down the establishment,” or SOMETHING was his answer! XD Oh I wished Daniel could’ve heard this! First IKEA, now Bitcoin, what would the game throw at me next!? XD

“Just kidding,” Kilton said after a second, “There is no establishment in Hyrule.”

Oh gosh this guy. XD

—And with the Mon I earned, I could buy monstery products from him.

He showcased a weapon called the Spring-Loaded Hammer, which allegedly would knock smaller enemies flying. But among his wares, I was most interested in a couple of masks he had for sale! A Bokoblin Mask, and a Moblin Mask.

I COULD USE THEM TO BLEND IN WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE EXEMPLIFICATORS. C8 What the—

!?

SERIOUSLY MS WORD THAT IS LEGIT A PIECE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE? I WAS GUESSING.

*cough*

....

Exemplificators....

Yes. Right then.

The masks looked incredibly homespun: fabrics of only similar colors held together by broad and obvious whipstitching over wavy seams, buttons for eyes—and not quite symmetrical at that! But their descriptions claimed they would give me the ability to walk undetected among my foes.

They were slightly expensive, considering the monster parts I would have to expend, and I didn’t like the thought of such a restricted legal tender, but this was too good to pass up. I quickly scraped up a selection of horns and talons and eyeballs and wings from my pockets, sold them for 99 Mon exactly, and then used that sum to buy the Bokoblin mask, the cheaper of the two.

I tried it on, and ran around and swiveled the camera to have a good look at myself—the floppy ears waggled with my movements, heh! But no sooner had I come to a standstill than all at once I hunched my posture right over, bent my knees, splayed my arms and did the Bokoblin Stance Dance! OH MY GOSH!! XD XD XD

I got so excited to try the other that I didn’t bother to calculate the exact sum of 199 Mon, but simply swapped out monster parts to Kilton (reserving no less than thirty of any given kind to myself) until I had enough and change!

And then on went the Moblin mask!

And I stood a hulking giant with powerful broad shoulders.

OH these were too good! XD

I passed on the Spring-Loaded Hammer and the Monster Extract, but went straight to Cotera after all that to do up what clothes I could. The masks, sadly but not surprisingly, could not be enhanced. But I had plenty of stealth-based ingredients to bring my Stealth Ensemble all the way up to level three in no time.

And get this—the set bonus that came with having enhanced Stealth clothes.... was faster movement at night. Haha! I felt like a Ninja! XD I could see the difference in my pace. I was so fast! 8D

But I took off the headpiece and redonned the Bokoblin’s pig head as I made my way out onto the Sahasra Slope. And I swear that mask made me emanate little snorting noises as I ran....

I knew there were mounted Bokoblins down here somewhere, and I found them.

And they found me. I could see the little question marks appear above their heads as they looked in my general direction. At first I took cover, but.... well, I was wearing the mask, wasn’t I? I had to be brave for my first field test!

I came back out from behind the bush, and there were the question marks again, filling, filling, filling with yellow....

Wait don’t they usually fill with red?

....

I didn’t think about it at the time.

But the first question mark filled all the way, popped into an alarming exclamation point....! And the Bokoblin kicked his horse and started walking it toward me.

He didn’t charge. He didn’t blow any warning horn.

He just walked.

And his friend came, too. A red one.

A black Bokoblin and a red Bokoblin, just walking their horses around me in a circle. Looking at me.

Did you know that red Bokoblins have blue eyes, but that black Bokoblins have red eyes?

I wonder what color blue Bokoblins’ eyes are.

“Don’t look at the screen don’t look at the screen!” I urged David as he stepped into the room. He rolled his eyes as I continued, “Wait wait wait.... I made a new friend....” I changed Link’s wardrobe to the Champion’s Tunic and Hylian Trousers, and switched to my scope to look at the black Bokoblin without having Link on the screen. “Okay you can look.”

David turned.

“See my new friend?” I grinned. The Bokoblin was still looking at me, and I followed him through the scope as he circled his horse.

“What’s on your head?” David asked.

“How did you—? Oh the reflection....”

He’d noticed something off as he faced away from the TV—and looked into the reflecting glass of a picture frame.

“What’s on your head?” he grinned, curious to see.

“Are you sure? Spoilers? Nothing?”

“Show me!” he laughed.

I came out of the scope, and was once again a stooping, crouching Bokoblin pig-man.

“What?” David spat in incredulous hilarity.

“I’m a Bokoblin!” I said. :D

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game.”

And I told him about the Sneaky Suit, and its bonus of extra speed at night! I went into my menu to put on everything but the headpiece.

“How long have you had that?”

“About a day. In the game—”

“Wait what’re those?” David gasped as I exited the pause menu.

“What’re what?” I knew perfectly well what.

“Those clothes? What were those?”

“Spoilers!”

“I don’t care.”

“Hnnnngg....”

“Let me see!”

I paused again

“What are these?” He pointed between my Moblin Mask and my Barbarian Helm.

“Well, that one turns me into a Moblin and that’s my Barbarian Helm.” But I could’ve sworn I saw him wearing something like it once.... “You don’t have that?” I asked.

“No.”

Hm, then it must have been unique to the Lomei Labyrinth.

Well, he’d find it sooner or later.

“What the heeeck?” he croaked through a dumbfounded grin as I modeled the Moblin Mask within the menu. The big dumb tongue lolled around as I moved. XD

I put the Bokoblin mask back on before I unpaused, and we watched the Bokoblins continue to react to my presence as I wore it.

I stood. I walked. I ran.

I moved.

And wherever I went they followed me.

And then another test: I took out my sword, and killed the red Bokoblin in one swing. His horse ran off. And the black Bokoblin?

There were arrows. He fired off a few arrows. In my general direction. But they seemed somehow half-hearted. And after a while he stopped all together. Might’ve been because he lost sight of me when I dashed away over the hill.

He did manage to kill a goat, though. But I ran in and stole the meat before he could get it.

But he didn’t seem to care.

After all, I was just another Bokoblin.

....

These masks were the best things in the UNIVERSE. X-)