Marked

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 5

Marked

From the Kuh Takkar Shrine I hiked all the way to a point called Zirco Mesa, and, as I had done on many mountaintops before.... I found a Korok, hiding under a rock and thinking he was just so clever....

Maybe this was when I had looked at my map. All the land around me was so rugged, and I wondered where Vah Naboris might stand when I was done with it—until I remembered running across the weird, flat, empty top of Spectacle Rock.

....If I were gonna park a Divine Beast somewhere.... I might just do it there.

The thought was encouraging anyway—I had already visited the spot, and besides that, there was nothing of terrible interest there that I would miss should it become inaccessible.

Maybe this was when I had looked a little longer at my map.

Maybe this was when I had looked a little closer.

At some point, in scanning over the towering steeps of the Gerudo Highlands, I chanced to skim across the Yigas’ Nest up Satan Canyon.

There was something new there.... something else that had not shown up on my map before.... Very close to the habitation-icon, almost right underneath it.

It was a red X.

And it was labeled RIP.

D:

That was because I had clicked “continue” instead of “quit”.

That was because I had clicked “continue” instead of “quit”....

That was when the Yiga had killed me. I had perished using the World’s Most Interesting Bomb.

And I thought of Mario Maker videos I’d seen, showing where so many players had died in each level.... that little red X....

My map was marked. It was marked now.

I looked at my saves.

I could go back. If I wanted to.

I could.

....

I wonder why I didn’t.

Hm.

I bet there were a lot of players whose maps may have been peppered with X’s.

But mine never had been.

And so, so long ago when I had gone back at the Eastern Abbey, after that very first Guardian had shot me—

I had erased that death. I had wondered about it at the time.

But this one....

So this is what happens. This was what happened when you died in Breath of the Wild.

Mipha didn’t save me.

....

I chalked it up to that, and—I could’ve gone back....

But I didn’t.

I don’t know why I didn’t.

—And carried on.

Ice and Fire

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 4

Ice and Fire

I wanted to see how the Thunder Helm looked on me, but I couldn’t equip it. Mmmm not unexpected, but.... Rats!

I had wondered, after I beat whatever I would surely face in the Death Hole Arena, whether I would be rewarded with something to protect me from the cold, as the only way to proceed from there was to climb above the frost line.

But that wasn’t the case.

Fortunately I had already accumulated just such gear elsewhere on my travels.

And so instead of simply warping back to Gerudo Town I decided to take the scenic route, and hiked further into the mountains. Remembering Vah Ruta and Vah Rudania, and how it was always unsafe to approach too near to them.... I just wanted to see if I could traverse the ridge lands before Vah Naboris took a permanent perch somewhere.

I chased my Shrine locator for a while, until I encountered the largest single block of ice I had ever seen. Two dancing Ice Wizzrobes guarded it—from a high ledge, I took the first down in one shot with a Fire Arrow. The second was a little farther away and I missed a couple of times.... but at length he went down, too.

The iceblock was huge. But I was positive that was where the shrine was. I shot a Fire Arrow into its face.

Nothing happened.

Well, the arrow burned against it for a little bit, but.... afterward there was no difference that I could discern.

David insisted it had done a little to melt the ice, but....

I didn’t have that many Fire Arrows.

I paraglided down and cleaned out the immediate area. How was I going to do this....?

I laid down some wood and flint, and struck the flint with my blade—a bright blaze flared up.

The frozen monolith stood solid.

What in the world was I—wait.

I held very still and looked carefully....

There were some subtle variations in the ice’s surface—drippings. And a tiny bit of steam clouding up into the air. But the ice—

There it was. Barely discernable, so slow it almost couldn’t be seen, the face of the iceblock slowly began to shrink away from the flames. And there on the ground! There was definitely a space growing between my woodpile and the foot of the ice.

But it was going so slow....

This needed more fire; I laid down more wood and flint partway around the side. But it was still too slow.... So I started another campfire around the back.

The speed of the ice’s melting was picking up, but....

It seemed a bit of patience was required to solve this puzzle as well.

The ice had receded so far away from my first campfire, I wondered if it was still having any effect. I didn’t want to build another fire.... though I could certainly spare the materials. I was just being stingy. I only like to splurge when I’m hunting big game and Guardians.

My fires burned all night long, and when the sun woke up soft and turned the snow all to roses, the iceblock’s mass shrank past its last vital threshold, and it steamed and melted away in a final watery sigh.

The Shrine of Kuh Takkar stood before me.

Kuh Takkar himself spoke to me twice.

Huh, no monk had ever addressed me twice before. He said something like “Offer me a block of ice and the way will open.”

Or some such words.

Well then! I had a look around. There was an—ice cube dispenser.... heh.... in the middle of the room, and all around seemed to be one long, upward ramp that passed through all manner of fire hazards before reaching the monk’s platform.

“My gosh, I feel like The Mosquito Coast!” I hollered as I made another attempt. A couple of times, there was nothing for it but to pass through the flames. My FlameBreaker Armor protected me, but my iceblock kept getting smaller and smaller....

It was just enough for Kuh Takkar when I reached him, though, and he gave me his Spirit Orb. That made seven of them I had. I needed to pray....

The Devil Sympathetic

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 3

The Devil Sympathetic

It was the other side. I had come out on the other side. The Death Hole Arena.

And a round-bellied Yiga appeared.

I gasped.

“YOU!” I said. It had to be him.

David was confused, and asked if I’d seen this person before.

No I hadn’t but it had to be him. That traveler, the one I crossed on my way to the Akkala Ancient Tech Lab for the first time, north of Chariots of Fire Beach. She had talked about him. Fawned over him. Gushed about his belly-dancing skills....

I hadn’t bothered to remember the name—Lord Somebody or something—but this had to be the guy.

“What are you doing in my napping spot?” the round-bellied man asked.

I blinked. Well at least he was up for talking....

“Oh! That thing on your hip, could it be...? A Sheikah Slate?”

Yeah.

“Then YOU MUST BE.... that Link guy I’ve been searching for! Oh this is wonderful! My scouts are out everywhere looking for you, and here you come waltzing right into my lair!”

Or some such words. And then he blustered something like, “Oh but I’m getting ahead of myself—I haven’t even introduced myself.” He drew himself up.... “The mighty, the powerful....” and up— “the ONE, the ONLY....”

So many grandiose gesticulations.... and camera angles to match.

“Master Kohga!” he finally finished.

Ah.... I remembered.... That had been the name....

Unfortunately, even after all the niceties, he still wanted to beat me up, and he told me so in as many or more words.

He had a cordiality about him that I rather liked.... A kind of honest openness. I like it when they talk; to me it always seems to signify a measure of refinement, regardless of the tone of the message. Indeed, couldn’t we all try a little civil discourse before resorting to fisticuffs?

Not that there was much discourse I guess. I am a mute.

....

Link is the best Hero.

David suggested I take a pictograph, and I did, phewf. It was distorted as the Yiga Lord had cast a very blue protective shield in front of himself just at that moment, but it was enough for my Compendium to go on.

There were three phases to this battle, and it, like Master Kohga’s banter, was refreshingly light.

In the first phase, Master Kohga conjured above his head a large, round stone with wicked markings on it. These he hurled at me one at a time, and they were blessedly easy to dodge. But I soon found the window wherein he briefly dropped his magical guard, and used it to shove an arrow down his throat. The rock fell and landed on his head, and down he went and in I ran and gave him a hefty what-for.

In the second phase he leapt into the air and HOVERED OVER THE DEATH HOLE. Oh my.... He then readied two rocks, and these he set into an orbit around his person, on a plane that faced me like a clock. At first I just went back to taking potshots at him, whereupon he would lose the spell and the rocks would drop.... But then David pressed the idea into me that maybe if I just waited a little longer....

I did, and didn’t loose an arrow until one of the rocks was directly over his head.... and then fired.

That did a little more damage. ^_^

Between the phases of the battle he just got hoppin’ mad....

In the third phase he forgot the rocks and conjured a giant metal ball with spikes on it.

Metal, huh?

It was a little tricky to catch, but I was able to stop the ball with Magnesis, and then thrust it back in his face!

Down he went again, onto the edge-ground before the Death Hole.

“Ugh, I can’t go out like this... what to do, what to do...”

I almost felt pity. “What do you want to.... get me for so bad, Master Kohga?”

And then brilliance seemed to strike him. “I know!” he said, “I’ll prepare my most powerful attack, the secret technique taught by my father’s mother’s father!”

Not quite against my will, I felt a rush of fondness for the man—well done knowing your heritage!—and thought of my own father’s mother’s father, Silas. I think he was the only one among his siblings to be born in town. The older ones had all been born out on their homestead near Decker Wash. But the Indian attacks were just getting to be too much....

I was pulled back into the game when Master Kohga employed this “technique”, and summoned an ENORMOUS spiked ball of metal, which sank down through the air until it settled ponderously onto the ground in between us, so that we lost sight of each other completely.

Wut.... Is it heavy? I wondered.

Master Kohga went on about his mighty technique, and how it was definitely going to destroy me.... I think. I’m afraid I can’t remember exactly, because it was just so.... ridiculous.... Because as he was talking, the ball very slowly began to roll toward him....

I guess the ground was tilted....

And in a shock he tried to leap out of the way, but there was nowhere left to retreat except backward—into the pit.

“I’ll be remembered!” he shouted as he fell with a howl, giving me Batman Beyond flashbacks.

“The Yiga Clan will track you to the ends of Hyruuuuule!”

Thud.

Distant and muffled.

....

And I wondered.... I truly wondered.... whether I would ever meet Master Kohga again.

A treasure chest poofed into being above the edge of the pit, in that orange glow and cloud of fluttering paper signs the Yiga are so fond of.

It was the Thunder Helm.

Yes.

The Value of Not Being Seen

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 2

The Value of Not Being Seen

Clicking “Continue” from the Game Over screen respawned me back in the Hall of Heroines. I trekked back up the dark, narrow passageway to Barta’s cell....

There was still nothing I could do to help her. I did not rescue Barta.

But I did make it past the infamous pillar and on into the lower part of the passageway, where the next Yiga guard stood sentinel before the only doorway out.

He did not move.

When the circuitous patrolman’s back had been turned, I had paraglided down off the pillar, and landed behind a long pile of storage boxes in this lower part; there were a couple of them down here. But while they shielded me from the second guard’s gaze.... they did nothing to help me progress.

That guard wasn’t moving. He was just standing there so attentively.... How was I supposed to get past him?

It was a cruel joke that I could see a treasure chest across the way on the far side of the room. Yeah, right! This was too much. What could I—

....Bananas, Barta had said.

Hmph. There were bananas here and there throughout this terrible dungeon, but.... what could I do with those?

I looked to where the nearest bunch of them sat, on a shelf high off the floor, on the wall directly opposite the guard.

The single supporting strut beneath the shelf seemed very flimsily put together; it was almost as if it were made of two simple sticks, banded together to increase its length. The white wrapping in the middle of this shoddy construction looked as if.... it were secured by something extra.... like those little metal clasps used to tie off athletic bandaging....

Why it almost looked.... like an X.... Like a tiny.... little.... TARGET.

Well, that chamber back before had offered me a bow....

I shot the strut out from under the shelf. It collapsed, predictably enough, spilling the bananas to the floor.

And the Yiga—he gave the same human-sounding start I had heard the other give before, so low and mundane that it caught me off guard—and then he started tiptoeing his way toward the bananas on the floor—like as if he were afraid someone was gonna see him??—at each step emitting some stupid, careful little “houhp” that nearly threatened to make him sympathetic! Like as if he were being so SNEAKY or something???

He was distracted anyway. I ran for it.

I did not attempt to make the far treasure chest.

I just ran for it until I was safe around a corner.

There were strange rooms further in—some dead-ended stone corridor full of spikes—couldn’t go that way—and more furnished chambers full of Eastern architecture—er, Sheikah architecture—no, the Yiga version of it. Oh it was all rather similar anyway.

I once heard.... probably a cousin or something.... say the Japanese were rather fond of inserting themselves into their video games. I’ve seen it a few times, or what has looked like it.

....I enjoy it.

From there on in I reverted very tightly to my first and wonted way of letting Caution dictate all else. Big Yiga guards patrolled thickly about the constricted spaces. Everything was waiting, watching, crouching, hiding, hesitating, and timing. All my movements were supremely delicate and slow. Silent and threading half-calculatedly, half-madly through the holes left between their patrols. My arrows whizzed below shelves, knocking out supports and throwing out bait-bananas and luring in the great lumbering guardsmen who, for all the acrobatics and rapier-quick mystique suggested by their cohorts whom I had met in the field.... moved like land-bound seals and circus clowns. Always “hup-hup-hup”ing along until they reached the bananas I cast in their way, whereupon they would look around carefully, quickly pocket the fruit, and then sneak back to their original positions. Poor blackguards....

In a catwalk corridor above the largest chamber I was forcibly reminded of Donkey Kong when I caught sight of that pile of bananas at the far end. Sweet Hylia, that was a lotta bananas. Where did these guys get them all, anyway? Not in this desert....

And as I gazed down at the large chamber from all angles, thinking hard on how to proceed.... one of those ridiculous giant barrels—the kind you can hoist up over yourself and hide beneath—had the GALL to fall under my attention, sitting there so still and helpful and quiet and upright and perfect, offering itself as if I were insane enough to actually try to USE it! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. THE NERVE!

No, I was quite content, content as any mouse in a fox-den could be, up here on my completely separate level....

A handful of breathless skywalks on rickety rafters later, just for the sake of some treasure chests that ultimately would not affect the fate of the universe—I was able to displace the guard who protected the last room.

And down I floated—and away I dashed and hid, until his back was turned again.

The final chamber seemed a little more closed off and private than the others. There was a bed, and another loose Duplex Bow. And it somehow felt quieter in here....

There were more treasure chests too, stuck in the ground. I was a little afraid to Magnese them out, for the noise they would make, but I unearthed them all right with no problems. I don’t even remember what they contained.

Ha, but I think I know now what their purpose must have been....

Using Magnesis for the chests, I could see the Magnesability of one of the walls. And when I had checked and searched every corner and looted everything that wasn’t nailed down.... I swiveled the Magnesable wall on its central hinge, and proceeded through one of the two openings....

Bane of Grace

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Bane of Grace

DRATBLAST IT I’M GONNA PLAY IT DAVID GET OUT HERE.

He did.

I played.

For an uncounted time I bid farewell to Piaffe the stablehand in Gerudo Canyon, and from there warped to the Sho Dantu Shrine in Satan Canyon—er, Karusa Valley. There had been no Blood Moon; the Yiga did not reappear. Even so, I moved cautiously....

The door to their lair was open.

I stepped inside.

I do not know what I was expecting—When I had stopped outside the open door before, I had seen the yellow-beige of some back walls, the flicker of torchlight, a kind of box or platform.... cover to hide behind?

But no, it was more than just a box—more like a pedestal, or an altar. There were stairs hewn into it, and a Duplex Bow rested on top.

Hm.

Encompassing braziers flickered like the entrance to the Shadow Temple. This room seemed too grand for the likes of a tribe of betrayers and assassins.... I daresay it was taller than it was wide. It was perfectly circular, and at symmetrical intervals around its edge there were towering statues of the Seven Heroines—No, were there eight? It was all octagonally symmetrical....

Their faces were covered with the grotesque inversion of the Sheikah Eye.

I nocked an arrow, passed the tip through a lit brazier, and tried to burn down their face-coverings, but they wouldn’t come down.

The Yiga didn’t make this place. It must have been something else, once.

So I guessed the grandeur had simply been hijacked.

DANG I wished I could read Gerudo! There was carved script everywhere....

Between the Heroines, on every side except where I had come in, were seven short staircases leading up to the walls—Ah, except for there, on my left; that one led to a small cavity of some kind.

There were a few barrels in it, just storage.

I looted it.

I walked up a few of the other staircases until a flickering glimpse at one wall’s base made me pause: there was a gap along the floor there! If I stood lower down the staircase.... I could see through it. Were those more storage boxes? Treasure chests?

I tried a Bomb before David reminded me of all the braziers in the room. There was a spare torch as well. I grabbed it.

They weren’t walls between the Heroines, they were hangings. I burned them one by one, revealing hollow after hollow, flushing out squeaking keese and breaking into barrels and cracking the occasional treasure chest—until one of them opened onto something greater....

But I finished my round of the room first; I am nothing if not thorough.

The staircase second from the right did not end in a store-hole, but continued upward in a narrow passage before veering off at a right angle, away behind tall stone walls. Maybe it was the lack of torchlight, but the stone there seemed colder, more weathered and cracked, dinged with dust and a chill.

I followed it—carefully. The feeling in the circular Heroines’ Hall had merely been one of staying on my toes, but this passageway.... there was a dread here that wakefully sought for things to devour.

I moved slowly until the tall and narrow passageway leveled and came to an opening. I glanced left and right but could see no enemies—I could see, however, straight across the small, dark space, a rough cell carved into the opposite wall, portcullised with thick wooden beams. And behind those beams, on the floor, sat.... a Gerudo!

I donned my Stealth Suit and crept slowly toward her. “Are you Pokki?” I whispered. But her name was Barta. I’d known there were two Gerudo missing, but I couldn’t remember the other name....

Barta told me to get out of here. She said if I were caught they’d call their friends. I couldn’t take them all. It was dangerous.

I glanced to my left at the tall, broad-shouldred Yiga patrolling a section of hallway in a lower level. Those stairs to my right must have led down and around under the stone floor to where he was....

I stayed low and looked to Barta again.

But she only hissed, “Why haven’t you escaped yet??”

When I pressed her again she only repeated her insistence that I escape, and went on to say that she hadn’t seen the Yiga do anything but patrol around and eat bananas.

....Huh.

There didn’t seem to be anything I could do to help Barta just then.

And there was only one way to go....

I watched for the Yiga guard’s torchlight, and waited for him to come around and make another pass—he seemed to be on a circuit.... clockwise.... Out from the left around the far corner, forward toward me, always sweeping his torch this way and that, inspecting every crack and crevice.... and then left again, around the near corner, and out of sight.

Sometimes it took him longer to reappear.

Hoooo....

After a few times of this, knowing there was nothing for it, when his back was to me again, terrified in my Stealth Suit I stepped off the edge of the cell-level and paraglided down after him and—was that really just a big fat pillar he was lapping around? I hadn’t been able to see the entire thick structure of it from where I had crouched with Barta—

Never mind—I grabbed onto it from the air and, sparing no stamina, hoisted myself twenty feet to its top in a trembling trice where I crouched, undetected.... and could study my new surroundings.

The passageway continued to broaden, and descended further still, in yet a lower level. Another big Yiga stood sentry almost right between the posts of the only door I could see out of that area. Unmoving. Masked face alert.

Great. How was I supposed to get past him?

Hmmm.

I took out a bomb and chucked it over the edge of the pillar.

“Wut.... are you—” David stuttered out.

The bomb didn’t clear the small railing between the two guarded areas, only gently bumped against it and remained in the pillar-section.

The patrolling Yiga guard came around again.

He gave an audible.... offputtingly human-sounding start, when he caught sight of the bomb.... and then slowly, slowly advanced to inspect the glowing blue orb.... the World’s Most Interesting Bomb....

And how interesting, for I had listened to that very soundtrack just that morning—first thing that morning—for the first time in.... well ever. Very nice.

I had not heard the music for years and years and YEARS and years and YEARS but.... I’d just out of the blue been so hungry for that epic, sweeping 12/8 track that made you feel like you were flying....

I never did get very far playing MDK. Ben had borrowed it from a friend. I didn’t get to watch him play much of it either, though I think I saw him battle the endboss, high in that office tower.... those binoculars....

I just remember playing the credits video over and over again, just to listen to that sweet 12/8 midi orchestra.... so powerful, so beautiful.... wandering in so many striking modulations what the heck was that some kind of old-timey autopsy—??

Of course, I did get to see Ben employ the World’s Most Interesting Bomb. And we all agreed: that was the awesomest, most hilarious, coolest weapon ever.

BEST.                                    

WEAPON.

                                    EVER.

EVER.

Perched on my pillar in the Yiga Nest, I was beginning to feel more confident as the big guard stopped and leaned down close beside my bomb....

I blew it up in his face.

That put him on his back sure enough, but he hopped up straight away and—whistled.

I tried to duck down low and keep out of sight, but—that glow.

That orange glow as the air swirls before they poof in out of nowhere right beside you—maybe the other guard had seen me, too—

Red-clad fiends started appearing from everywhere—on my level on the pillartop no less. There were too many of them, I got a few hits in, I took a few hits, kept swinging, saw my hearts drop but I was all right, I could stand—

And—

....

They.... they killed me?

The screen began to darken.

But my hearts!

The music began to droop.

And.... I had so many fairies in my pockets! And—

The text showed on the screen, large and red:

GAME OVER

And—

But—

. . . . . . . —

Where was Lady Mipha?

Two options were presented to me: Continue.... or Quit.

It must have been like the Gerudo’s Hideout in Ocarina of Time, I thought.

Everything was too present. I clicked Continue.

One too many hits and you’re automatically down, no matter how many hearts you have....

I should’ve quit. I should have. But I didn’t.

I didn’t know....

The Young Chief

Evening of Sunday, June 10, 2018

The Young Chief

When the night was cool I walked out from the Gerudo Canyon Stable to Kara Kara Bazaar to go arrow-shopping. Then it was off to Gerudo Town for more of the same, chased by Lizalfos all night....

My goodness, that arrow-stall in town.... It’s like a candy store. A very expensive candy store where the sweets come with fletching and they oftentimes explode. I bought most of the lady’s stock, spending thousands of rupees I am sure. But I got a little of it back when, after I was done purchasing, I sold the lady my spare Gerudo attire. I don’t need it.

I met Jules in passing on the street again—“Sav’otta!” she said, “Instead of ‘good morning’.” She said she wanted to practice using Gerudo words.

So Sav’otta meant good morning....

Well, that was one phrase I could translate, then!

I approached the palace. The guards maintained a fierce manner (“. . . or else you and my spear will have a very personal conversation!” Link flinched at threatened retribution for bad behavior!) but they let me in. Evidently Chief Riju was still up to entertaining visitors.

The throne room was wide, with gently-flowing, shallow aqueducts lining the way to the throne. Riju sat leaning to one side upon it, her cheek resting lightly on delicate knuckles. Her clothes were exquisitely beautiful, and an ornate headdress nestled perfectly in her fiery hair. She certainly had the air of a Chief, but she was still so young—short in the midst of all these towering women. To her left stood her protector Buliara, an enormous guard with intimidating armor. She looked down at me with wideset eyes flanking a broad nosebridge....

“Just another traveler....” Riju started, but then seemed to subtly notice something, and added that perhaps there was more to this one that met the eye.

It was that thing on my hip....

The Chief seemed to have a soft-spoken way. So young but so collected. Calm. Her blue lipstick only ever bent her mouth between a coolly disconnected concern, mirrored by her brow.... and a quiet, intelligent smile, beneath eyes that could see a thousand miles.

They asked me what I wanted. I told them I could calm Vah Naboris. And as I saw Link gesticulating in his Gerudo Attire I just imagined him talking in a girly voice, and laughed.

Somehow it felt relatable to a contralto like me.... |D

Buliara scoffed that only Champions like Lady Urbosa could possibly stand a chance at such a venture. And she didn’t recall any Hylian vai among the Champions.

Riju asked me my name.

“Link.”

There was one Hylian among the Champions, too, Riju reminded Buliara. The Chief remembered hearing that the Princess Zelda had put the fallen warrior into an enchanted sleep. And his name was Link, too.

Chief Riju opened her eyes from thought and looked at me.

“You’re a voe.”

Oh they found me out.

Buliara became incensed at this incursion!

But Riju directed her protector’s attentions to the object hanging on my hip: “A treasured relic of the Sheikah,” she said, “You don’t think, Buliara, that they’d entrust it to just some drifter, do you?”

I think Riju knew who I was....

Though her face and demeanor were so well masked.

I suppose it came from dwelling in a city of all women.

Still, Buliara had limited faith in me, and suggested—perhaps not entirely out of good will.... “Why not have him prove himself by retrieving the stolen Thunder Helm?”

Riju softly considered this and hmmm.... agreed to it. “Go through that arch,” she directed me to my right, “It leads to the barracks. Talk to Captain Teake.” The Captain and her subordinates, Riju suggested, would be able to give me any information I needed on the whereabouts of the thieves....

And so I took my leave.

I remembered these barracks—I walked down the stairs and visited with all the Gerudo in training again, gleaning what tidbits they could give me, until I came to Captain Teake on her higher platform in the back.

Captain Teake stood strong and solid with her arms crossed, overseeing the exercises of her soldiers. I’d forgotten that she had the lightest complexion of any Gerudo I’d ever met. I wondered if she burned in the sun....

The Captain and her women seemed to have been made aware that they were to cooperate with me, and they did. I asked around, collected some clues, and wouldn’t you know it.... It seemed the thieves who had stolen the Thunder Helm were nestled away in Karusa Valley.

Or as I had become wont to refer to it....

SATAN CANYON.

Yup.

There was nothing for it then but a quick warp to the Sho Dantu Shrine in that valley, a little bit of a hike up the way—worked my way up, killed some Yiga—and before I knew it I had once again come to the end of the canyon.

But this time.... the doorway into the sandstone was wide open.

....

So I called my brother David.

He sounded busy. “What’s up?” he asked, or some variant thereof.

“Well I am about to enter the Yiga Nest and I wondered if you wanted me to wait for you.”

I heard him gasp.

Seemed like a real dilemma.

I knew this was the part he’d said he was most excited to watch me play.

“Where are you?” I asked him.

“Shara’s house.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just talking.”

“What are you talking about?”

“. . . .”

Sometimes I feel like such a family dog.

Not that I guess I’d know at all—we’ve never had a dog.

David hemmed and hawed and huffed and hmmmed but.... in the end he said he just couldn’t make me wait, when he knew where I was, when he knew what I was playing. He was too far away to be back any time soon . . . . though if I felt like waiting for him at all.... that.... would be cool.... Oh but he couldn’t, not really. I should just go ahead....

I should just go ahead....

I should just go ahead....

. . . .

Mmmm ehhhhhh I would just....

Wasted in the Wasteland

Waking of Saturday, October 28, 2017 ~ 8

Wasted in the Wasteland

It didn’t look as if.... sleep was going to be a big option for me tonight.

I went for the Sheikah Tower. 熬夜！Aoh yeah!

As soon as I saw this tower, I recognized it from something Joseph had described, long, long ago.

This tower stood in a bog, beside an array of tall stone slabs. Fierce winds prevented approach by paraglider. But a few Magnesable metal boxes littered the shore—I could use those to construct a footpath.

In Magnesising—Magnesing?—the first box, I saw that an additional host of other metal boxes lay beneath the bog’s bubbling surface—it seemed it was deeper than I had realized.... and there were also a few chests hidden down there!

In laying the foundations for a step beside the stone slabs, I accidentally knocked them over, thus creating the domino-ramp that would ultimately give me access to the Sheikah Tower.

Huh.... I’d thought Joseph had used a Bomb.

I guessed a flailing metal box could work, too.

The depth of the pool necessitated some precarious stacking and a great deal of guesswork and patience, but at length I had fashioned five somewhat level stepping-stones across the bog. Then it was a shinny up the fallen slabs, a climb up to the top of the tower, and....

I was rewarded with a map of the Wasteland.

The farthest southwestern reaches populated in my Sheikah Slate.

!

There was a Leviathan skeleton down there.... in a place called Dragon’s Exile.... wow....

And that Satan Canyon that had been full of all the Yiga Archers—that part filled in, that singular little canyon, creeping like an encroaching tentacle into the Gerudo territory map.

And there were all those rock-spires at the canyon’s mouth.... and strange, huge archways of stone.... and giant bones littering the emptiness.... and that circle of Colossi I had seen!

And away to the southeast, there was the Devil’s Own Highway, where I had placed those three star-stamps ages ago! Just above Moza’s cooking disaster, at the mouth of the Lynels’ Corridor....

The area was vast, and looked just full of places and things to explore! Oh I wanted to head for that Dragon....

But.... it was so, so late....

I considered, shouldn’t I just close on the activating of the Sheikah Tower? That was a good achievement to stop on.... I’d have to get ready for church soon....

Then I saw on my map the name Kousok Plateau, and remembered—that guy.... that guy back at the stable, the oily guy, Sesami—hadn’t he said that’s where he had lost his friends?

I could just.... head back toward the stable via that.... plateau and then.... and THEN I could call it quits.

Ant Lions

Waking of Sunday, June 25, 2017

Ant Lions

I waited all day on that platform for the Tower’s shadow to find me. Firing a few test shots—and hoping Kass wouldn’t mind me taking potshots at him—I hoped this wouldn’t require a Phrenic Bow, because I was fresh outta those....

But when the shadow crossed over me, a single arrow in the general direction of the sun turned out to be sufficient. Up out of the ground rumbled the Sasa Kai Shrine. A Modest Test of Strength.

I nailed it. Even forgetting until about halfway through that I was still wearing my Warm Doublet instead of the much stronger Champion’s Tunic.

Yes I think I am definitely feeling more confident in my combat skills.

After that I continued my circumnavigation of the mountain, and found a rich weapon cache under a big prominent hill! I took the rupees, the Opal and the Bomb Arrows, but I left the rest for later, and blocked up the entrance again, as I had first found it.

As I continued my trek just below the frost line, I briefly wondered whether my course would take me straight through the mountain range, for there was a lower spot that seemed as if it might cut straight across, and spit me out somewhere near Satori Mountain.

It was a deep canyon of red, windswept stone—felt like I was suddenly in Sedona—and it cut a great, penetrating swath of blank space into my map. Guess it belonged to a different Sheikah Tower.

I stayed high, as usual, but I was dreadfully curious about the layers below me, for there were many. And there seemed to be a road or path down at the twisting bottom, and it was lined along both sides with small stone frog statues.

This was so unusual....

But I still stayed high. The canyon rock at my level formed immense natural bridges and domes and I contented myself with a bird’s eye view.

One giant hole opened up in front of me into which a ringing curtain of sand was gently spilling, like a gossamer veil in the sunlight. I peered into it; a much more complex arrangement of the frog statues seemed to adorn a wider space below. What did it mean....

I got too close and fell in—I threw up my paraglider and scrambled to turn and get purchase on the stone....!

I stopped about six feet from the bottom.

Well, as long as I was here....

I let go and hit the ground—and some ruckus started up.

It was a Yiga Nest. Three Yiga Archers poofed in and out all around me, laughing and taking shots—but at least they stayed still longer than their blade-wielding brethren. I cut them down, and took their bananas, their rupees and their.... Duplex Bows. Interesting weapons. Two arrows at a shot. Can’t beat the Forest Dweller’s Bow or the Lynel’s Bow, though.

When the area was quiet, I studied the frog statues—the faces of the ones up here had been covered by flags bearing a perversely inverted Sheikah Eye. Yiga. I looked to the end of the canyon—for it seemed to end just right there—and found what I believed to be a door in the stone.

But I could not open it.

Not that I was quite so sure I wanted to.

David turned up again, froze for a heartbeat or two, and went into a transport of excitement. “I know where you are!” he said.

And then he turned to me. “Andrea.”

“Yeah?”

“This is about Zelda.” It was the preface he had designed to alert me to when he really was talking about Zelda, as there had been occasions where I’d heard him say snatches of some completely unrelated things that I’d mistaken for spoilers.

“Okay?”

“This is the part that I have most wanted to see you play.” He was positively aquiver with anticipation.

“Ah-huh....”

I still couldn’t open the door, though.

“What, do I need to walk up through the entire canyon first?”

David helpfully just shrugged.

I walked down the path in the canyon a bit—killed a couple more Yiga Archers—and came to a large platform with a sign in front of it: “Offer a Glowing Blue Stone” it said, or something like it. Would this open the door?

There were four Luminous Stone deposits surrounding it. I blew one up with my bomb, and accidentally landed a fragment right onto the pedestal.

And.... a shrine burst out of the ground.

The Sho Dantu Shrine.

A little too much fun with high explosives in that one.

The door still didn’t open, though. But I was not concerned. I climbed my way back onto the sandy natural domes and arches above it, and continued into the high canyon.

I waited out a Blood Moon and soon came to another giant hole in the ground, this one much more conspicuous—at its center was a deep pit, with sheer, wavy Sedona-rock sides. The perfectly round mouth of it was paved with flat stones above, and lined with hanging flags and draperies below the edge. What did this mean? Was this a way in?

I felt amazingly stupid as I tried to get a better look, stepped too close again and once more fell off the edge.

And again, I scrambled to cling onto the wall before I hit the floor, tasting a great impending danger this time.

But when I finally psyched myself up to let go.... nothing happened. No Yiga Clansmen jumped out at me.

There was another stone door on one side like the one back in the canyon. I was certain some diabolical passage under the rock connected them. What was in there?

And then there was that giant pit in the middle.

David had tried jumping in it.

Eh, I’d try it too.

I floated down for a bit, fell, and the screen went black. Would there be a dungeon?

There wasn’t. I just came to back on the edge above.

A note: don’t jump in the Yiga Pit; it’s just a hole to nowhere and you die. Makes me wonder about that hole where the Gerudo Tower stood, actually....

Well there was nothing I could do here, and so climbed out through the snow, freezing only a little on my way back to some warmer ground where I could stand.

It looked like this cut across the Gerudo Highlands was too high after all, even for my Warm Doublet.

But no matter.... I’d just keep going right around the mountain range....