Spirit Orb Shenanigans

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018

Spirit Orb Shenanigans

I warped from Zora’s Domain to Gerudo Town, grabbed a sand seal and headed out southwest. I still needed Molduga fins for the next upgrade to my Sand Boots.

The heat was still an issue, even with my Sapphire Circlet and Gerudo Outfit. Outside of the solace of night and dawn and dusk, at the height of the day I could only cling to the thin shadows wrapping below tall rocks. ....Rather like the time we spent at Needles Outlook. It was so hot.... but having the place to ourselves for an hour was exquisitely adventurous.

Though the high sun was still intolerable, this time the Molduga didn’t take me that long—not when I knew how to draw it out, and not when I employed my Most Terrible Lynel Bow, which spat three arrows of thirty-two attack points each for ninety-six damage at every shot. And that if I had only used normal arrows. No, it was Bomb Arrows this time, as it should be every time, and the Molduga was such a large target that the only shots I missed were during its recovery-burrowing animation.

I brought it down in one pass.

Excellent.

I also picked up more Rushrooms and one more diamond from Ledo, and then it was off to Cotera to have her do up some of my clothes. Got my Sand Boots to a more respectable level of defense. Since I’d be going out into the desert and all....

I also saw I had three spirit orbs. Just one more shrine and I could add another heart or a slice of stamina.... So I went to where I’d always suspected there might be a shrine: from the Hateno Tower I paraglided toward a certain stretch of the Hateno Road—checking out Oakle’s Navel for the first time along the way—there was a Korok down there—

I headed toward that little grotto on the north side of the road. Kind of a big grotto actually. I had heard my shrine-locator go off near there before, back before I had the wherewithal to climb the surrounding cliffs.... But my locator had seemed to indicate something up on that shelf opposite the Cliffs of Quince, or maybe a little beyond.

With a little persistence and my Climber’s Bandana I got up on top, and was promptly led by my locator in dizzying circles around a small lakespring, which poured into a long valley just to the north.

I had regarded this valley many times on my map, but had never visited it. It had seemed isolated at first, but upon closer inspection I could see there were ways to access it—ways whose entries I had brushed against many times.

But I did not want to be tempted by it now. I was pretty sure I saw David exploring it one time and.... there were things going on that I heard, but didn’t let myself see, except in the murky reflection off the microwave door. What was I eating that day....?

At any rate I was leery of the valley. First of all it was raining, and any elevation losses would be difficult to regain. And secondly, I had to head into the desert; I didn’t want to get too distracted or trigger anything momentous in this new environ....

In truth.... I suspected Naydra might make a pass.

However, the brreep-brreep I was hearing now sounded like the shrine might be under the little lake, and like I might not be able to access it unless I descended into the long water-valley.

There were an awful lot of ruins down there.... I got as close as I could to the edge first on one side of the waterfall, then on the other.... On the east side I dropped down by small degrees onto ancient mossy stonework shelves, peering down at lonely Lizalfos stretching in and out of camouflage—and there. There on the west side of the waterfall was a hole cut into the rock. It was well off the valley floor. Er, valley-bottom. (It seemed to be all water down there.)

I paraglided down and in. Brreep-brreep! The tunnel was long, but at the end.... stood the Dow Na’eh Shrine. Cool.

The cavern happened to have a second opening, right onto the back of the waterfall. I dove in with my Zora Armor for a quick ascent back up to the mountain shelf....

That made four Spirit Orbs all right, but when I was back on the Hateno Road, I considered.... I was much better equipped than I had been before.... What was up with that grotto anyway? Maybe I could solve it now. A long time ago I’d thought the shrine I heard on my locator would appear in that grotto....

But hidden shrines didn’t work like that.

Doctor Calip was there, studying the hordes of little statues standing in the ground like an army in prayer. Doctor Calip from that friendly house back in the woods near Fort Hateno. I’d slept there once....

I’m not sure if I knew it before, but I gathered now that he frequented this place. I spoke to him. It’d been a long time. And he repeated the strange riddle to me, the one he was trying to puzzle out himself: “When a dark light resides in the cursed statue’s eyes, pierce its gaze to release the seal on the shrine” or some such words.

Was the statue one of this bunch of little ones?

When I asked him about it further he said he reckoned it was some terrible variety of doll that could influence people’s behavior.

What like a voodoo doll? .__.

Sounded freaky....

When it started getting dark, Doctor Calip high-tailed it out of there—monsters came out after nightfall, he reminded me.

I had made Doctor Calip’s riddle my active quest, and I watched him leave by the pulsing yellow light on my HUD. I looked up and could see his person jogging away in the distance, about to round the bend—the yellow light had barely moved—and I marveled at the scale of the map. <3

The fall of night in earnest was still a good way off, but.... I decided to hang around anyway. Would any monsters bother me in here? Mmmm maybe. But maybe there would also be some kind of clue the night might reveal.... or maybe it only happened on Blood Moons. A voodoo doll? My hopes weren’t that high. I ran around collecting plants and passing a Korok I had found.... was there anything I had skipped over before? I jumped off low blocks of old ruins, waiting for the sun to sink....

Wheee.

Then uh—

Looking back. Into the grotto. For I had jogged over near its mouth. Oh gosh what—

The little army of statues stood clustered and shrouded in the dimness. But it looked like.... did that one there.... But it was a good stone’s throw away—maybe it was just a trick of my vision—I scoped in—

NO THAT ONE STATUE’S EYES WERE DEFINITELY GLOWING. THEY GLOWED PURPLE. WHAT.

“David look!” I strained in tight unmoving terror.

Oh my gosh it looked so freaky....

So I snapped a pictograph.

The statue didn’t do anything as I came back toward it.

Its eyes just glowed purple. What unholy....

I swung at it with my farmer’s hoe. But I couldn’t hit it that way.

So I tried shooting an arrow into it.

That destroyed the statue.

And up rumbled the shrine out of the earth, right in that bare patch of ground I had always thought would look just dandy with a shrine in it....

The Kam Urog Shrine.

Inside was the biggest hamster wheel I had ever seen. With giant, free-rolling morningstars in it.

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME,” I said.

But I did it.

And it was awesome.

QUEST FOR PANTS

Waking of a Saturday, February 3, 2018

QUEST FOR PANTS

I warped from Cotera’s to Gerudo Town, and found Bozai. He seemed overly-concerned when he learned that a delicate little flower such as myself (for I was disguised as a girl again) had actually ventured into the wild Gerudo Highlands. He didn’t think I’d actually do it. But when he saw the pictograph I’d taken of the Eighth Heroine, he could make no disputations—he’d promised me those Sand Boots, and so he gave me those Sand Boots.

Though it was a real wrench handing back the Snow Boots, I tell you what.

He kept flirting with me pretty strongly until I could worm my way out of the conversation. But then.... as he sat beneath the tent out in front of the town....

I approached him again.

And dang. I don’t know if even I had boiled it down to what was really on my mind. Not so baldly or succinctly. But the penetrating bluntness of the very first option I was given in my conversation with Bozai spelled it out plain—“I want Snow Boots.”

Dang it, Nintendo! I could take a lesson in non-codependent assertiveness from this.... XD

Bozai seemed taken aback, but sweetly accommodating. And through all his coddly flirting he struck a new deal for this delicate desert flower and her silly flights of fancy.... one she wouldn’t possibly be able to see through....

If I could snap a pictograph of the Eighth Heroine’s Missing Sword—

Hahh, yes, yes, indeed—the Missing Sword—so that’s what it was.... But I hardly heard the rest of Bozai’s words for how pleased I was feeling at having the fetchquest mapped so plainly before me! ^_^

If I could take a pictograph of the Eighth Heroine’s Missing Sword, this time without the aid of the Snow Boots he had lent me before, then he would let me have and keep the Snow Boots upon my return.

He was sure I would never find it this time, as it didn’t really exist, I heard him murmur beneath his breath.

Oh what wicked cacklings were mine as I warped off to the Shrine of Kema Kosassa....

It was slower going, without the Snow Boots. But at least that left me to finally invest in something with a higher defense for my legs.

I schlumped up the mountain to the Dragon’s Nest, and was favored with the good fortune of there not having been a Blood Moon in the meanwhile—no Lynel to tangle with.... and no Moblin either!—and took a fabulously artful pictograph of the sword.

A simple warp and a change of wardrobe later I was back at Gerudo Town, once again listening to Bozai’s incredulous fluster at my having ventured into such savage, dangerous territory, a dainty little thing like me, I mean really! Silly girl, didn’t I know I could’ve been seriously—

I showed Bozai the pictograph.

He was shocked.

“Snow Boots,” I snapped.

DANG! XD XD Didn’t let him mess around much for this encounter, did they? XD XD

Bozai.... shifted, and hemmed, and hawed, and.... decided he’d better stay true to his word. After all.... this was his big move for a pretty lady....

He gave me the Snow Boots. And started to ask, “Would you... g-go... out... with...”

“Not a chance.”

“You could at least let me finish the question.”

Aoh MAN.... XD SAVAGE. XD XD XD

Well, Bozai couldn’t really go anywhere after that—he was confined to the little tent out front of the city. The sand was very hot after all.

I felt kinda bad that I’d taken every lower-body wardrobe item he had....

But not nearly bad enough to do anything about it, not that the game had a mechanism for it that I could tell!

Nyahahahaha! XD

The City Again

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 9

The City Again

Dang it, where had my sand seal gone? Hopefully back home....

No matter; I could just warp back to town.... And I did, Molduga guts in tow, before doing myself up like a girl once again and heading for the gate.

Before I got there, however, I bumped into Bozai.

I guessed this was the first time he’d seen me as a girl; he positively fell all over himself making an introduction.

“So yeah, hey, the name’s Bozai. I’m 35, single, and I LOVE jogging. Especially on sand.”

Oh yeah those Sand Boots! He said he might give them to a girl!

At once I started trying to weasel them out of him, and I heard him mumble something to himself about a golden chance to woo.... But he seemed quite attached and he kept playing coy, and in the end he said he’d only give them to me if I could first do him the favor of finding the legendary Eighth Heroine, somewhere in the Gerudo Highlands.

And to help me out he lent me a pair of.... SNOW BOOTS?

Well HANDYSAUCE I guess! ‹8D

I checked my map—I’d heard tell of the Seven Heroines, and I was pretty sure I knew what those had to be. I found that circle of Desert Colossi I had seen, and counted—there were seven.

And if those Colossi were big enough to register on my topo.... my eyes swept over the Gerudo Highlands....

Ah! There it was. :) Way up round the north side where I hadn’t been able to reach before.

But with my new Snow Boots, and my Warm Doublet AND the cold-resistant circlet from that nice lady back in town....! 8D

But.... that was an excursion for another time; I had some business at present.

As the day became stronger I stepped into the city, and immediately got lost in the sprawling tangle. Where was Malena? I went looking here, looking there, looking for Malena—no, the area full of guards was the wrong place—I needed the front of the palace....

And even as I veered to correct my course, I bumped right into her as she walked up the street!

Malena! ^_^

And I gave her the Molduga guts.

And she was in disbelief, she was so grateful—“OH, SARQSO!” she cried! and promptly became all sniffly with emotion. “This will save him...”

She wished she could give me more in thanks, but I graciously accepted her proffered 300 rupees.

“I never asked your name, did I?”

I told her it was Link.

“Sounds like a sturdy voe name to me,” she said.

Ah, hehh.... ^_^;

“May I... possibly... name my vehvi after you? If I ever have one, that is!”

AwwwWWW! There was a Gerudo word for BABIES!  ^___^ <3

“Deepest Sarqso, Link. I’ll never forget about you.”

Dang that felt good.

As I moved further about the city I found yet more areas that I had never encountered. One odd corner of town brought me to an old woman named Muava, sitting alone on a rug, and further along the wall, on the other side of.... what looked like a pile of rubbish.... a Goddess Statue.

I spoke to Muava, and she recognized me for a voe! But she wasn’t going to tell anyone. Actually she liked the idea of chatting with a voe once again.

She said she was quite a trveler, and a beauty, when she was younger. She had looked all over for the Lover’s Pond, but she never found it—I knew where that was—and before she knew it she was old.

Now.... she was just lonely. Lonely and alone, and she appreciated the time I spent talking with her.

Hhhhhhh, makes me want to.... I don’t know. I don’t know any cut-off and detatched elderly people. Though I suppose if they were cut off, how would they inform anyone?

What a cruel joke.

....

I wonder if I’ll end up like that, since I’m not very outgoing.

....

At the very least we could Christmas carol to a nursing home again.

Oh, the way their eyes light up and their smiles come to life....

I prayed at the Goddess Statue, and received another stamina vessel, which made now for two complete wheels.

Back at the clothing shop—Armor Shop?—I attempted to explore a little deeper beyond the front stall—but the attendant told me that door was “for employees only”.

Huh.

So I combed the outside of the building until I found another door. But when I attempted entry here, a voice from within asked me for a password.

! So this was the password door!

I had a wild guess at it anyway. Not unexpectedly, I got it wrong.

The voice chided me and told me to go back to the tavern and order.... milk or something or some such words.

I turned and ran back to the square, passing Jules in the street—we momentarily reveled in our sharing the secret. Hee.

But I hurried on to the tavern—I wanted to learn the password!

As it turned out there was indeed a new option to order milk from the bartender—but when I tried it she told me off just the same!

I got the feeling both the bartender and that voice behind the door each thought the other were playing tricks on her....

The only other things the bartender talked about were one Pokki and some purported Ice House which aided in their business. Of neither of which I found any sign as I looked all over.

I spoke to another patron in the bar, Pritana, but she only said I didn’t look old enough to be in there. “How old are you really?” she asked.

“I’m over 100!” I answered, selecting the answer before I realized the dialogue had given me options.

Pritana laughed and told me what a funny vai I was. “When you’re older,” she said, “let’s have a drink together!”

Fed up and unable to squeeze anything further from the canteen, I threw the barrel at those lounge ladies once again before plunging back into the city.

I think inwardly.... I only wanted to put off my quest for a little longer. I wanted to play, and yet I also wanted to keep from doing the important things in the game.... because I was always behind on my log, and I wanted to catch up on my writing first before playing deeper into the main storyline....

Though I’m sure you can see the lot of good that has done me in my writing. Sometimes it doesn’t matter whether it’s important or inane, main storyline or not. The moment that strikes you has no preferred time or place or shape or color or taste. It manifests when it wants to, and you can only try your best to bottle it with your words.

Like that whole Molduga chapter.... How did two or three sentences of notes become three or four pages of log?

I guess because the moment was familiar.

Maybe I am the spider in the web, perservering motionless for endless hours.

I am Buck in the wilderness.

I’m Pangur Bán hunting mice.

I’m the scholar, hunting words.

Hunting mice is his delight,

Hunting words I sit all night.

Better far than praise of men

‘Tis to sit with book and pen...

Translated from the Irish by Robin Flower (1881 – 1946)

A walk around some very high walls with enormous planters and palm trees in the corners gave me a view of one more sand seal paddock, containing only one animal.

I floated down—this sand seal was different, and had a stronger color.

Padda, the single Gerudo standing by, informed me that this was the chief’s favorite sand seal, Patricia.

I regarded the creature.

She had a tiny red bow at the front of her scruffy mane, but I think.... it only accentuated what great hulking squash-faced beasts they are.

Padda further explained that Patricia was an oracle.

WAT.  ._.

“Offer her fruit, and she will give you words of wisdom,” says Padda.

So I gave her an apple.

She ate it, and then proceeded to bark and grunt and flap her big flippers with a great deal of show.

Padda translated for me: “‘The southern desert is...searing hot during the day! Bring gear made for it!’ I’ve spared you the painful seal pun,” she added.

OH GOSH. |-D

Thanks, Padda.

I think.... I’d had enough.

I got out of town, grabbed a seal, sealed back to the Bazaar, headed to the inn....

And went to bed.

Good night.

The Point With No Entry

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 3

The Point With No Entry

As Gerudo Town remained impenetrable, and as no clues seemed to present themselves to me locally, I grabbed a sand seal, counted on its speed to blunt the impending heat exhaustion, and started back toward the oasis at Kara Kara Bazaar.

But I didn’t get far before I saw a voe on the road—a man. And in a fit of considering my optionnnnns I decided to hop off the sand seal, and talk to him.

His name was Gartan

He was a merchant.

That was all.

Well that was a wasted sand seal—I ran back to the safety of Gerudo Town, as it was nearest.... and saw another guy, running around. Literally running before the forward wall.

I stopped him to talk. His name was Bozai, and he sported obnoxious glasses, an overlarge chin, and unflatteringly long dark hair.

But he also had.... Sand Boots? That let him run at normal speed over the sand?

Heck yes!

But Nope, says he. He would mayyyybe give them to a girl, but not a guy.

Huh.... Well it seemed an interesting item to keep my eyes out for anyway.

But it still didn’t get me into the town.

I saw Lukan come up the road to enter the city! But nothing she could offer was much help to get inside either.

I tried walking around the outer wall—there were other entrances, but they too were of course guarded by Gerudo.

I even climbed up on top of the wall a little bit....

I could see into the town.

A handful of red-haired girls, oblivious with their backs to me. Some were so young....

It felt indecent.

I did not drop down inside. I just kept circumnavigating.... and kept running into Bozai and his ridiculous boots—turned out he was running around trying to show off and catch some Gerudo lady’s eye.

Well.... good luck with that, Bozai.

All of the Gerudo guards told me much the same thing, this was Gerudo Town, no voe allowed, the Divine Beast this, the burning desert that, blah blah blah....

I finally tried talking to Benja again, by the shrine. And this time, I found out what he had meant before when he said it was all research.

Benja told me he’d heard of a man who knew a way to sneak into Gerudo Town! A man who’d been in and out of the city several times before! That’s why Benja was keeping such a sharp eye on the road leading in—he wanted to catch the man at it and learn the secret.

He also said the man frequently visited Kara Kara Bazaar.

Huh.... well this was interesting news!

When it was cool enough I grabbed a sand seal and hightailed it back to Kara Kara Bazaar, and told Robsten I had found his caravan leader.

This came as a relief to Robsten, and I told him further that his caravan leader was keeping an eye out for that guy—it would definitely be somebody sneaky.... And I asked him if he’d seen anybody like that.

Somebody sneaky?

AND HE SAYS “There was that pretty Hylian gal at the general store. It’s unusual to see a Hylian girl dressed like a Gerudo...”

?

!?

Oh...

my....