Madman Joseph

Afternoon of Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Madman Joseph

CONFOUND AND BEBOTHER THIS JOSEPH!

I’ve told him, no spoilers. I know he’s ahead of me, and maybe he does feel the terrible, irrepressible need to express and geek out like I do—but for the love! Does he have to go saying so many things?

Of course.... he did warn me about the green chuchus, and I’ve never let one touch me so far.... But today after he made buggy eyes at me when I told him I hadn’t been able to play in like a week...

“Just one more thing, just one more thing.... ZELDA IS GANON!” he hissed as he began to make his way back to his cubicle.

He knows by this point that I don’t want to be spoiled and so I am sure he was joking but must he make my mind spin? Maybe the male brain is like a toolbox where individual thoughts are kept in separate boxes that do not touch, and only removed one at a time to be worked upon in the central workspace, which otherwise remains blissfully clean and empty.

But the female brain is like a bowl of spaghetti! One spaghetti could be touching like.... twenty other spaghettis!

You tell me things like that and immediately I’m thinking Wait does he possess her? Well it wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. Am I heading into a trap? What if I can’t trust the first Zelda I see in this game? No but what if I’m getting worked up for no reason? Will I treat that part of the game differently now? If there is a part like that? I’m just guessing here! What if the avatar in my head turns mean against her when he shouldn’t? Ugh I wanted a pure experience for this log.... is this gonna spoil the flavor?

Dang it, Joseph, it’s overtime week and I been up since 3:30 today and yesterday just to get my part out of the way quicker now SCAMPER OFF and let me and my Batman:TAS soundtrack do our data entry.

And if I meet you and your hearsay on the road again, Madman Joseph.... I’m throwin’ up my arms and dashing away in a flail like any other self-respecting Hylian. I will fill my earbuds with my favorite hotel air conditioner white noise and refuse! I say NO, Sir!

HHHH.

In the meantime I think I’d better change tack. The river goes on for a long way; I have no idea where it ends. But the rest of the wetlands.... as mind-bogglingly vast as they are.... are, in fact, finite. I think.

I think I’ll warp back to the tower where I met Gruve and do a little surveillance; maybe Mei will turn up.

And then....

I am still piqued by that other shrine signal I caught near the Floret Sandbar.... And a strange earthy mound I saw, jutting with giant bones and oozing all over with those pools of malice—as I’ve learnt they are called. The black-and-magenta creepstuff.

Hm, feeling braver am I?

Well, definitely curiouser if nothing else.

No, but Mei first. Mei first.

I wonder if I’ll have to comb it fine right through all the islands.

Including the one with the big red Hinox.

Dear me.

Mind the Daisies

Waking of Saturday, March 25, 2017 ~ 4

Mind the Daisies

The last hump of grassy hill to the north bank of the river was not as bare as my map had made it out to be—a rusted Guardian slumbered there. I gave it a wide berth.

After trying and failing to sneak up on some deer through the rain, at last, at last, there was the Shrine.

I paraglided down to it, and no sooner had I run a few paces across the islet—Floret Sandbar—than an irate woman’s voice scolded me something awful.

I was ruining her flowers.

The game blacked out and put me where she was, on the south side of the island. She told me to watch my step for the love of all things holy.

Ah, I saw, it was like a corn maze. I just had to follow the bare grass winding round like a crop-circle.... which turned out to be easier said than done. Er, if you wanted to reach the handy items in all the dead-ends, that is.

And a fat blue chu popped out of the ground, and I found out quickly that I couldn’t swing my sword at it; the strokes were too broad. I needed a spear for straight thrusting.

This was more involved than I’d anticipated!

The woman brought me back to the start every time I messed up, and it was about four or five times! But eventually I made it to the shrine, and received a fourth Spirit Orb from the monk inside.

I’ve been calling them shamans, but.... when David started a game I noticed and remembered the term monk.

However, when I exited the shrine I wasn’t quite sure how I was supposed to wind myself back out through the flowerbeds. But I didn’t bother. Instead, I warped to the mountaintop where Vah Ruta now resided.

I’d made a lot of friends in Zora’s Domain.... and I’d assured most of them I’d lend them a hand.

It was time to deliver.