The Weapon Connoisseur

Waking of Sunday, February 24, 2019

The Weapon Connoisseur

I jumped off Kass’ Landing in Rito Village, and sailed for the western shores of Totori Lake. Making my way back to Gisa Crater and its sleeping Talus, I set out to continue my exploration of the western edges of the Tabantha Frontier. I killed the Talus, kept on northward, killed a Lynel—Silver. Gads, why are they all so strong now?—but could not find any shrines anywhere. Where are the shriiiiines....

I might have spoiled myself some days ago; I’ve heard a number on the shrines. I have 117 right now. Not many more to go, I think.

But I still couldn’t find any just now.

After exploring around far and wide, hunting high and low and still coming up empty.... I decided I wanted to try and finish Nebb’s quest instead. That would certainly still throw me for a world tour; I could still keep my eyes open for shrines.... just passively rather than actively.

I checked my quest log to see what weapon Nebb wanted to see next....

Where the heck could I find an Ancient Battle Axe +?

My Compendium said Hyrule Field and the Akkala Highlands.

Hmm.

So I started checking the shrines around those parts. I found a few with some little Guardian baddies inside, namely KAAM YA’TAK for one.... but none wherein the baddies had that weapon.

So I tried Katah Chuki. A Minor Test of Strength. And to my surprise.... the enemy popped up again! Even though I’d defeated it!

THEY RESURRECT. The Test of Strength Guardians come back.

I wonder if they do that every time you enter, or just on Blood Moons....

Unfortunately Katah Chuki’s Guardian Scout carried only a regular Ancient Battle Axe. And so I decided to bump it up a notch and return to the shrine of Muwo Jeem, way out on the east end—the Modest Test of Strength. My first Modest Test of Strength. The only shrine-fight I had ever run away from....

And this Guardian Scout—IS THAT THE WEAPON I’M LOOKING FOR? I thought madly as I sported with it!

I killed the thing, and.... IT WAS!

An Ancient Battle Axe +!

I took it to Nebb, and let him have a good long look at it, and he gave me a silver rupee! 100 rupees! Man his pockets were deep.

“Grandpa said ‘Give it to the one who shows you how to fight!’” he said happily.

Aww, this kid had such a great grandpa. ^_^

And then.... NEXT, he says.... he wants to see a Frost Spear.

Well that should be easy, I thought, I just saw some guys with that kinda thing over in Hebra when I was wandering around.

And I spent the next very long time bouncing back and forth between Hebra and the Gerudo Highlands looking for a Frostspear. It’s one word. Frostspear.

No.

Luck.

ANYWHERE.

I looked around for so long. David recommened I just turn on my sensor. I told him I didn’t have a picture of one.

“Oh.”

I looked and looked and looked....

Nothing.

I tried jogging out west from Selmie’s spot and paragliding to the big baddie treehouse on the very northern border. I swooped down from higher up the mountain, drawing nearer to the monster-nest, lookin’, lookin’.... oops they saw me.

One of ‘em sounded a horn and they all flew into a tizzy, yowling insults and casting arrows of various types.... Okay just scan, I thought, staying on the move, scan, scan.... Nobody’s got it. I couldn’t see a Frostspear anywhere.

So I dropped to the ground, started from there, and just marathoned it back to the east. The frigid shelf of land was not broad, and there were plenty of baddies. Surely somebody had to have the wanted Frostspear....

I was running, running, there were guys blowing their horns and shooting arrows after me, wolves howling—so many freaking wolves—more baddies, Lizalfos either popping out of the snow or jumping out of their ill-camouflaged hunkerings. None of them had the spear that I wanted.

Man, it’s everywhere except when you’re trying to find it.

I was coming up to a skull-den. Somehow the lookouts didn’t see me until I’d come up the left side and around to the front. Ran right in the open mouth. Three Bokoblins and two Lizalfos. But no Frostspears. Ran back out as fast as I’d run in.

Of course they all started at once and came chasing after me. Monsters were yammering all over the snow in pursuit, the animals were going nuts, every creature was freaking all the other creatures out, a rhinoceros was chasing me....

When suddenly I came upon Lynel country. Silver to boot....

Nope. Not again. Where the heck was I?

I considered my surroundings and realized I’d reached the northern end of the snowfield. I was back in the familiar territories.

Hey, I thought, the shrine is right there. That shrine at the north end of Hebra’s big snowfield. And according to my Slate, there was treasure left inside it. I went to check it out....

No luck.

But the shrine gave me an idea—there were other shrines, plenty of other shrines, where I had likewise left treasure unclaimed. Weapons for which I had no room in my hammerspace. Maybe one of those had been a Frostspear....

So I started looking in shrines whose treasure I had left. Not a lot of luck. A whole lot of not luck. In all the icy regions. I searched and searched and searched every icebound shrine I could find.... And in one icy shrine, I found a FLAMESPEAR.

NOT THE KIND OF THING I WAS LOOKING FOR.

So that’s the game, is it?

I went to the volcano for a bit to look at the unclaimed treasures in shrines there. No luck there either.

Where where where where wheeeeerrrrrre....

In my Slate I looked at the shrine at the Spring of Wisdom. It was a Blessing Shrine. It had treasure unclaimed. That would be easy enough to check. Easier than a combat shrine anyway....

So I went there, and I checked.

AND IT WAS A FROST SPEAR.

YES.

I warped straight to Hateno, straight to Nebb, and showed it.

Gold Rupee. 300 rupees. Oh he liked that.

“Grandpa said ‘Give it to the one who can show you the real deal!’”

Where was his grandpa getting all this cash anyway? Must’ve been a real doter....

Next....

Oh man, Nebb, how far can you take this? But I had hope.... 300 rupees was the highest value you could go in one gem. Surely this would be the last thing.

Next Nebb wanted to see.... an Ancient Short Sword. “You can’t get those around here,” he said as my only clue.

Ancient Short Sword?

I had a one-handed Guardian blade in my inventory, but that wasn’t what it was called.

Hm, I could only think of one place to try....

Robbie.

Away to Akkala I went, and checked in at the Tech Lab. The Ancient Short Sword was there. Cherry could make that all right. For a thousand rupees, a bunch of nuts and bolts or whatever and two of my precious ancient cores? (Out of eleven, one of which I’d only just bought from Teli in Hateno on a rainy day.)

I came back out and paused to check my Ancient Armor. It was already upgraded all the way.

....

Hnnng. I could.... spare the cores....

I asked Cherry for the Short Sword. Freakin’ thing so expensive when weapons were so transient anyway....

And she made it. 40 damage. Looked cool.

Back to Hateno.

But Nebb was headed to bed.

Dang it!

Okay, okay.... It had been this long, it could be a little longer. I slept in my house, too. And had Blood Moon dreams.

The next morning I did some shopping around town: arrows, Bomb Arrows, Tabantha Wheat.... Came out of the shop and it was hard to tell all those little running kids apart when they wouln’t stop moving....

But I eventually found Nebb around midday, playing with his sister Narah.

And I showed him the Ancient Short Sword.

And he gave me a diamond.

“Just like in the books!” He thrilled. He was always saying things like that.

He was really pleased.

“Thanks for showing me so many things! I’m sure my grandpa is super happy... wherever he is! Bye!”

I drew a quick breath. Wait.... his grandpa.... who gave him all these rupees, he was.... was he....?

Nebb?

And before I knew it the banner flashed across my screen, the gleaming sound effect sheened, and I’d completed the The Weapon Connoisseur sidequest.

What.... but....

Uh?

The sidequest notes confirmed it for me:

You showed Nebb, the young man in Hateno Village, all the weapons he could ever want to see. He rewarded you with a diamond.

He feels that his grandfather is unquestionably smiling down on him from the next world now.

....

Man.

Nebb.... I’m sorry for thinking ill of you.

It was late and.... I needed to go to bed, and.... it was late afternoon for Link, so.... I’d put him to bed, too.

I took him back to his Hateno House, and because I am a girl, I first had him remove the Master Sword, and the faithful Rusty Shield that has seen me through all the way from Divine Beast Vah Medoh, and the Knight’s Bow. And I put him in his Warm Doublet because it looked warm yet loose-fitting, and his Snowquill Trousers because they looked comfortably warm as well.... and I put him to bed.

Good night, Hero.

TO HEBRA!

Waking of Saturday, November 3, 2018 ~ 4

TO HEBRA!

I went back to the Serenne Stable!

I was gonna go north!

AND I DID!

I took the road to the northeast and ran! Beyond Mount Drena, the Blue Marker Mountain from long ago! Past the place where I had met that nice lady merchant with her donkey! Past the spot where I saw my first Tabantha Moose!

The road bent around the head of the canyon of the Forgotten Temple, curving back to the west, and the mercury plummeted. The trees became stark and sparsely-leaved. More moose and rhinoceroses started appearing! And it was a surprisingly short jog until I came of a sudden.... upon the Snowfield Stable!

I quickly locked down the neighboring Rin Oyaa Shrine—Cool!—before visiting with the locals. What in the world were people even doing out here in the icy nothing?

Harlow spoke of swords—They were cool, he said, but he asserted that a sword didn’t make a hero.

But Danton talked about the Sword of Legend.... now that was a cool sword.

“This sword here?” I showed it.

“That’s the sword of legend?” Danton said, “It’s slimmer than I imagined. I thought it’d be as big as me! With, like... jewels everywhere.”

And I legitimately wondered whether one of the writers must have based that exchange on an actual recounted history of some semi-knowledgeable non-fan getting his first glimpse of The Legend of Zelda’s fabled Master Sword.... XD

Danton was grateful anyway. “I’ll never forget this day!” he said. Aw, he had such a nice smile and a genuine face. :)

I went inside the stable, where the temperature did not improve—gosh this place was just cold all over—and one Juannelle told me about a.... STALHORSE? WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

She wanted a picture. ಠ_ಠ Or some notes. What in the ACtual crap.

And she told me where to find it. Oh I needed this region’s tower....

I could see the tower further to the southwest, up on some low, dark crumble of snow-covered rock. It looked easy enough to get to....

I KEPT GOING.

I clambered up into the rocky hills with the tower looming closer and closer above me—they were rarer now—until I came to a place where the road forked off to the left.

Huh? There seemed to be some kind of habitation over there.... nestled against the mountain....

I went to investigate.

This place was called Pondo’s Lodge. It was homey, and comfy. And the sole resident Pondo for whom it was named must have been someone’s father. Because only dads can crack out that many bad puns in such rapid succession.

It was amazing.

Near Pondo’s home was a little sunken dell, the far end of which held a smattering of peacefully leafless winter trees, cozy in the grey. The near end of the dell.... Pondo had transformed into something else.

A long, heaping ramp of snow (or earth covered with such) led from Pondo’s stead all the way down to the floor of the dell, where it transitioned smoothly into a large, circular mound with a flat top. And on this platform was where Pondo liked to set up his gigantic, moose-headed, totem pole pins with which to go.... Snowling.

I paid that man so many rupees. You got three big snowballs per game, but that ramp was so bumpy! It was difficult to anticipate how the snowballs would bounce or what little bumps might dump them over the side edge completely. My snowballs—though they grew encouragingly in size on the way down—kept veering off to the right....

But eventually, I got a strike! And Pondo gave me a prize for my efforts, rupees again, I think.... I can’t remember....

That guy.... so punny....

I thought about stopping there for the night. It was an inviting, comfy, warm and friendly place.... And the hour was getting so late, and I was tired.... And I loved all his moose-decor....

BUT THE TOWER WAS RIGHT THERE....

I kept climbing.

There were no great enemies about on guard, but the base of the tower—the Hebra Tower—was surrounded by a bristling ring of ice. And as the ground was so uneven, it was a little difficult to lay a fire. But eventually I found a spot of ground level enough to set down some wood and flint and set it alight without it rolling or sliding away.

It.... exercises your patience, the ice does. Unless you want to blow a ton of Fire Arrows all at once. But I just waited for my fire to melt the ice chunks until a big enough hole opened up for me to reach the tower.

The climb to the top was blissfully uneventful. And as I studied the new map data, I saw that.... THERE WAS ANOTHER LABYRINTH HERE. HEE.

My eyes roved over all the cool new places to explore, until eventually I paraglided back to the stable. I thought to save it then, it was getting so late, but....

Stalhorse....

It was night.

I went to look for it.

Juannelle had said it was to the north.... I set out across the stark and naked snowscape, only pulling up when I saw a Lynel in the distance. I didn’t want to get too close.

I searched up and down the north end of the plain, but couldn’t find any trace of a stalhorse. No, but hadn’t she said it would be near some ruins?

The labyrinth!

But.... those freaking Lynels in the way!

The night was burning fast. In desperation I ran up onto the bordering mountain to skirt the eastern Lynel before the morning came. And paragliding back down through the everpresent fog and mist, I caught sight of some movement on the road to the towering labyrinth....

I came closer and FOUND IT OH MY GOSH. I snapped a pictograph. A Stalkoblin was riding a Stalhorse!

....

I WANTED IT!

I dashed in, dispatched a loitering Lizalfos, killed the Bokoblin rider, and.... approached the skeletal equine.... It had glowing eyes and the rags of ancient trappings. Its tail was scraggly, and it had no mane.

I mounted it, and it uttered the rippling, gurgling ghost of a whinny as I tried to soothe it.... And what was more my surprise and my dread.... it calmed down and I sat still upon it. .__.

It was nearly morning! I wanted to take it back to the stable—could I make it?

I turned it about, and we got on the road, and I spurred it forward, but it bucked me off—had I spurred it too forcefully?—reared in throat-tearing agony, and DIED as the sun rose. Its bones separated and crumbled and turned black and disintegrated in the rising light, and it was gone.

....

Man.

....

I warped back to the stable—still didn’t want to deal with that Lynel—and Juannelle gave me like a hundred rupees or something for the picture.

That was enough for today. I was savin’ and goin’ to bed. It was late.

And all my two hours of sleep were full of Lynels in the snow.

Ascent

Waking of Saturday, January 27, 2018

Ascent

No—more—DAWDLING; it’s March 27 as I write this, MARCH!

I started at the Kara Kara Bazaar where Kachoo bade me good morning.

From there I barreled into the desert to find that shrine I had seen in the big tangle of cliffs beneath the mountain—the Dako Tah Shrine.

(“Dakota!” said David.)

It was difficult! Another electric path challenge....

After that I followed the foot of the mountain westward, wrapping round the jutting points until I came above the north end of those ruins I had explored before.

And wouldn’t you know it, north of the ruins was.... the Northern Ice House.

The actual house where the ice was kept was not very visible—its exterior consisted of a single trap door in the ground and a following ramp. But above this spot was a most improbable rock formation—looked kind of like a big turtle....

Up against the mountain, a solitary wolf prowled.

I ran down the ramp before it could spot me, and met the lone Gerudo manning the place. I roused her from sleep to learn that her name was Anche (“I’m gonna call you ☥,” I said) and that she really felt it was too early to be bothered just now.

When she finally did wake up, with my head still cracking over possible password clues, I spoke to her, but she had nothing relevant to say, and she never mentioned that Pokki—whose name always made me want Pocky....

Nor did the Ice House hold much of anything else that was interesting. Except for ice.

I left. I followed the mountain’s foot westward further still, dodging from shadow to shadow, until I came to where the rocky pillars stood tall from the sand and Lizalfos lay in wait upon every surface.

Satan Canyon.

I’d thought about coming here again. Perhaps if I traversed its entire length I could trip something I’d missed before....

The afternoon was getting on, but the sun still burned me outside of the shade as I moved further in. I teased David again by refusing to approach certain treasure chests.... Not those ones.... And as I entered the sandy mouth of the gorge its proper name was revealed to me – Karusa Valley.

I jogged on, searching for any kind of entry point clues, but aside from a few Lizalfos for whom I did not mask soon enough and who took unkindly to my concussive salutations, it was simply a long, long trudge through the sand.

It was a while before the sandstone walls closed about me as they had before. I was grateful when the temperature dropped and I could move freely in the light.... and more grateful still when I came within sight of more solid ground at last! And momentarily surprised as, just before I reached it, the air took on a breathtaking, icy chill!

I ran—I’d forgotten how drastically the temperature could swing in the desert.

It was only a few steps, and then I was back into the windcarved sandstone, in the temperate air, with my speed blessedly unhobbled.

And there were indeed a few surprises I had missed before—like falling rocks.

I sheltered behind great rounded shelves of stone, which jutted from the sidewalls like pinball paddles, while the avalanches passed. They seemed quite large here.

Atop one of the shelves I found a stray Korok hiding in—

Those frog statues again.

I continued up the gorge and it wasn’t long before the defaced frog statues lined the paths again and the Yiga Archers came out laughing to sport with me....

I killed them all, but when I came to the door at the end.... it still wouldn’t open.

I guessed.... I had to trigger the events back in town first after all.

But there was more to draw me up here than just the Yiga Nest. I donned my Warm Doublet, Snow Boots and Ruby Circlet, and out above the canyon on the crunching snow I doubled back to the west, climbing further into the mountain.

Higher and higher I climbed, crossing glistening frozen shelves I could never have seen from the steps below. There were even a few sparse and lonely pine trees up here on the otherwise naked highlands.

And rhinoceroses! Great, woolly blue rhinoceroses, being chased around or ridden by Bokoblins. I watched them at it for a while before slipping past them and hurrying up a steep gorge—

The weather turned then. Thick grey clouds descended and the snow fell all around me. Fortunately my Snow Boots still allowed me free movement, and the rest of my clothing kept me warm from the chill. But the landscape and its denizens became steadily harsher: Visibility was limited in the blustering oblivion, gigantic chunks of ice began to appear, obstructing my way forward (and when I drew near to these and looked hard, I could see things frozen inside them.... Bokoblins, Lizalfos....), a new, hardier breed of wolf appeared, snapping its deadly dance about me, and more Bokoblins and an Ice Wizzrobe harrassed me for more attentions than I could spare. And though my clothes protected me from the cold.... their ill-tailored defense against attack had me flirting with disaster at every altercation. My hearts dropped like mercury as I took heavy damage.

But two things pierced through the blizzard to pull me onward: The first was the sounding of the Erhu—Farosh! He was so close now.... Yes, this was where I had first seen him! From the river far below on the other side of the highlands! . . . . And the second was the sudden perking of my Sheikah Slate, chiming Brreep-brreep! between the winds—There was a Shrine nearby....

I pressed on, coming to a cracked and ruptured saddle, wide and flat with broken snow between two peaks lost in the grey. Icy Lizalfos lay everywhere, and watched me as I followed the shrine signal, too frozen even to bother with anyone more than a couple of yards away.

Gigantic snowballs rolled off the muted red steps to the west, gaining mass and slowing down before crunching to a halt on the field. I dodged them, climbed over a fragmented hill of ice—and there lay the Shrine, hard against the lowest western wall in a pit unseeable from anywhere. The Kema Kosassa Shrine.

I hurried into the hidden dell—danger was everywhere—and activated it. And shrinking from the howling of the storm I fled beneath the overhang, and stepped onto the elevator.

The interior was cool, and stark, and monumentally quiet after the weather’s rage.

It was a Major Test of Strength.

ಠ_ಠ

I had never done a Major Test of Strength before. No but wasn’t there something out from Hateno...?

David was with me; I had watched him.

I was ready for this . . . .

To See What I Could See

Waking of Friday, August 11, 2017

To See What I Could See

You know, lately I try not to play too far ahead before I’ve written up my adventures so far. I really do. But man....

I don’t know what came over me on this day. It’s a Zelda game. It’s a siren. It’s Blow it all I just wanna play the game and be the Hero. Escape to Hyrule. Divert my mind. Fly me away and tell me stories....

I was still in the deepest recesses of the Forgotten Temple.

David said he’d just warped out of that one. But.... There were no convenient shrines to warp to outside. I think the closest one was Ketoh Wawai, and that one was all in the dark with a Hinox next to it.

I didn’t want to have to traverse any huge distances again. How was I going to get out of here?

....

Well, I decided to just try the same way I’d gotten in—on the air currents. I climbed up the giant Goddess statue for some altitude (pardon me, Lady) and wouldn’t you know.... I made it out unscathed this time! ^_^

After that I climbed back up to where the shrine-detector had vexed me, near where I’d met Yammo and seen my first Tabantha Moose.

My blue marker was right there on that red mountain.

What had I seen on top of that mountain?

I needed to go get it—NOW.

It had always been my wont to keep so many things in reserve until NEVER, because what if I had more urgent need of them down the road?

But I chucked that notion out the window as I perused my very old stock of Spicy Omelets. Surely they should have molded over by now.... but! My hammerspace pockets seemed also to act as the perfect preservation larder.

I ate an omelet, and charged up the road, not stopping for anything! I scrambled over the rough red rocks, straight up the mountainside! My blue marker drew nearer in my HUD map....! And UP over a little crest and it would be in sight!

I had a little difficulty focusing on it however as I seemed to have disturbed a little camp of cold-blooded baddies. Bokoblins, Ice Keese, White Chuchus.

I swiveled my scope madly—there it was! My blue marker!

It was a tree.

I had placed it on the naked trunk of a frozen tree.

....

I ran toward it! Straight through the baddie-camp and further up the hill! Passed the tree, the marker disappeared, and I kept running! I didn’t care to engage any of those things just now!

But higher up on the crest of the mountain was something that made me pull up a short. o_o I snapped its pictograph just as it turned its massive head and noticed me.

A Great-Horned Rhinoceros.

It was big, and woolly! With a blue-grey coat, and an enormous mean-lookin’ horn on its nose!

It charged and I jumped out of the way! Turned and pinked it with my sword. It bellowed and ran away. I ran but couldn’t catch it.... fired one arrow—it groared again—landed a second arrow....!

And it was down!

That was a great lotta meat to harvest! I scooped it all up quick and skipped up to the very tip of the mountain.

The warming effect from my spicy omelet would run out soon.... I decided I would paraglide back to the warmer climes!

And I did—it was a very long flight and I started freezing before I escaped the frigid air. But I managed to touch down on a warmer hill just above where I had started, near that bend in the path that curves around the head of the Forgotten Temple Valley.

GOT the blue marker!

Where to next? :D