The Weapon Connoisseur

Waking of Sunday, February 24, 2019

The Weapon Connoisseur

I jumped off Kass’ Landing in Rito Village, and sailed for the western shores of Totori Lake. Making my way back to Gisa Crater and its sleeping Talus, I set out to continue my exploration of the western edges of the Tabantha Frontier. I killed the Talus, kept on northward, killed a Lynel—Silver. Gads, why are they all so strong now?—but could not find any shrines anywhere. Where are the shriiiiines....

I might have spoiled myself some days ago; I’ve heard a number on the shrines. I have 117 right now. Not many more to go, I think.

But I still couldn’t find any just now.

After exploring around far and wide, hunting high and low and still coming up empty.... I decided I wanted to try and finish Nebb’s quest instead. That would certainly still throw me for a world tour; I could still keep my eyes open for shrines.... just passively rather than actively.

I checked my quest log to see what weapon Nebb wanted to see next....

Where the heck could I find an Ancient Battle Axe +?

My Compendium said Hyrule Field and the Akkala Highlands.

Hmm.

So I started checking the shrines around those parts. I found a few with some little Guardian baddies inside, namely KAAM YA’TAK for one.... but none wherein the baddies had that weapon.

So I tried Katah Chuki. A Minor Test of Strength. And to my surprise.... the enemy popped up again! Even though I’d defeated it!

THEY RESURRECT. The Test of Strength Guardians come back.

I wonder if they do that every time you enter, or just on Blood Moons....

Unfortunately Katah Chuki’s Guardian Scout carried only a regular Ancient Battle Axe. And so I decided to bump it up a notch and return to the shrine of Muwo Jeem, way out on the east end—the Modest Test of Strength. My first Modest Test of Strength. The only shrine-fight I had ever run away from....

And this Guardian Scout—IS THAT THE WEAPON I’M LOOKING FOR? I thought madly as I sported with it!

I killed the thing, and.... IT WAS!

An Ancient Battle Axe +!

I took it to Nebb, and let him have a good long look at it, and he gave me a silver rupee! 100 rupees! Man his pockets were deep.

“Grandpa said ‘Give it to the one who shows you how to fight!’” he said happily.

Aww, this kid had such a great grandpa. ^_^

And then.... NEXT, he says.... he wants to see a Frost Spear.

Well that should be easy, I thought, I just saw some guys with that kinda thing over in Hebra when I was wandering around.

And I spent the next very long time bouncing back and forth between Hebra and the Gerudo Highlands looking for a Frostspear. It’s one word. Frostspear.

No.

Luck.

ANYWHERE.

I looked around for so long. David recommened I just turn on my sensor. I told him I didn’t have a picture of one.

“Oh.”

I looked and looked and looked....

Nothing.

I tried jogging out west from Selmie’s spot and paragliding to the big baddie treehouse on the very northern border. I swooped down from higher up the mountain, drawing nearer to the monster-nest, lookin’, lookin’.... oops they saw me.

One of ‘em sounded a horn and they all flew into a tizzy, yowling insults and casting arrows of various types.... Okay just scan, I thought, staying on the move, scan, scan.... Nobody’s got it. I couldn’t see a Frostspear anywhere.

So I dropped to the ground, started from there, and just marathoned it back to the east. The frigid shelf of land was not broad, and there were plenty of baddies. Surely somebody had to have the wanted Frostspear....

I was running, running, there were guys blowing their horns and shooting arrows after me, wolves howling—so many freaking wolves—more baddies, Lizalfos either popping out of the snow or jumping out of their ill-camouflaged hunkerings. None of them had the spear that I wanted.

Man, it’s everywhere except when you’re trying to find it.

I was coming up to a skull-den. Somehow the lookouts didn’t see me until I’d come up the left side and around to the front. Ran right in the open mouth. Three Bokoblins and two Lizalfos. But no Frostspears. Ran back out as fast as I’d run in.

Of course they all started at once and came chasing after me. Monsters were yammering all over the snow in pursuit, the animals were going nuts, every creature was freaking all the other creatures out, a rhinoceros was chasing me....

When suddenly I came upon Lynel country. Silver to boot....

Nope. Not again. Where the heck was I?

I considered my surroundings and realized I’d reached the northern end of the snowfield. I was back in the familiar territories.

Hey, I thought, the shrine is right there. That shrine at the north end of Hebra’s big snowfield. And according to my Slate, there was treasure left inside it. I went to check it out....

No luck.

But the shrine gave me an idea—there were other shrines, plenty of other shrines, where I had likewise left treasure unclaimed. Weapons for which I had no room in my hammerspace. Maybe one of those had been a Frostspear....

So I started looking in shrines whose treasure I had left. Not a lot of luck. A whole lot of not luck. In all the icy regions. I searched and searched and searched every icebound shrine I could find.... And in one icy shrine, I found a FLAMESPEAR.

NOT THE KIND OF THING I WAS LOOKING FOR.

So that’s the game, is it?

I went to the volcano for a bit to look at the unclaimed treasures in shrines there. No luck there either.

Where where where where wheeeeerrrrrre....

In my Slate I looked at the shrine at the Spring of Wisdom. It was a Blessing Shrine. It had treasure unclaimed. That would be easy enough to check. Easier than a combat shrine anyway....

So I went there, and I checked.

AND IT WAS A FROST SPEAR.

YES.

I warped straight to Hateno, straight to Nebb, and showed it.

Gold Rupee. 300 rupees. Oh he liked that.

“Grandpa said ‘Give it to the one who can show you the real deal!’”

Where was his grandpa getting all this cash anyway? Must’ve been a real doter....

Next....

Oh man, Nebb, how far can you take this? But I had hope.... 300 rupees was the highest value you could go in one gem. Surely this would be the last thing.

Next Nebb wanted to see.... an Ancient Short Sword. “You can’t get those around here,” he said as my only clue.

Ancient Short Sword?

I had a one-handed Guardian blade in my inventory, but that wasn’t what it was called.

Hm, I could only think of one place to try....

Robbie.

Away to Akkala I went, and checked in at the Tech Lab. The Ancient Short Sword was there. Cherry could make that all right. For a thousand rupees, a bunch of nuts and bolts or whatever and two of my precious ancient cores? (Out of eleven, one of which I’d only just bought from Teli in Hateno on a rainy day.)

I came back out and paused to check my Ancient Armor. It was already upgraded all the way.

....

Hnnng. I could.... spare the cores....

I asked Cherry for the Short Sword. Freakin’ thing so expensive when weapons were so transient anyway....

And she made it. 40 damage. Looked cool.

Back to Hateno.

But Nebb was headed to bed.

Dang it!

Okay, okay.... It had been this long, it could be a little longer. I slept in my house, too. And had Blood Moon dreams.

The next morning I did some shopping around town: arrows, Bomb Arrows, Tabantha Wheat.... Came out of the shop and it was hard to tell all those little running kids apart when they wouln’t stop moving....

But I eventually found Nebb around midday, playing with his sister Narah.

And I showed him the Ancient Short Sword.

And he gave me a diamond.

“Just like in the books!” He thrilled. He was always saying things like that.

He was really pleased.

“Thanks for showing me so many things! I’m sure my grandpa is super happy... wherever he is! Bye!”

I drew a quick breath. Wait.... his grandpa.... who gave him all these rupees, he was.... was he....?

Nebb?

And before I knew it the banner flashed across my screen, the gleaming sound effect sheened, and I’d completed the The Weapon Connoisseur sidequest.

What.... but....

Uh?

The sidequest notes confirmed it for me:

You showed Nebb, the young man in Hateno Village, all the weapons he could ever want to see. He rewarded you with a diamond.

He feels that his grandfather is unquestionably smiling down on him from the next world now.

....

Man.

Nebb.... I’m sorry for thinking ill of you.

It was late and.... I needed to go to bed, and.... it was late afternoon for Link, so.... I’d put him to bed, too.

I took him back to his Hateno House, and because I am a girl, I first had him remove the Master Sword, and the faithful Rusty Shield that has seen me through all the way from Divine Beast Vah Medoh, and the Knight’s Bow. And I put him in his Warm Doublet because it looked warm yet loose-fitting, and his Snowquill Trousers because they looked comfortably warm as well.... and I put him to bed.

Good night, Hero.

High Hopes . . . Bogged

Waking of Saturday, December 8, 2018 ~ 2

High Hopes . . . Bogged

David asked me later about the shrine in Ludfo’s Bog, and how I had gotten the orbs down.

“I just climbed up and got ‘em,” I said.

He stared at me.

“....What?” I said.

“You climbed up and got them?”

“Well, I mean, it took some doing, but I had enough stamina—and the Climbing Gear!”

And he stared at me like Gonzo stares at an imbecilic Rizzo, and I stared back at him like an oblivious Kreacher who doesn’t see the issue.

And then he shook his head and I kept playing.

Off to Hestu. I had enough Korok seeds. I asked for one last dance and Hestu did his thing and sang his song, his maracas exploding in a giddy burst of blue confetti.... and I obtained the final shield slot.

Now all my equipment pages were full.

“Shakalo!?” he started with a jolt, “You’ve expanded all your inventories!?”

But he recovered himself quickly and resumed his easy swaying stance dance. “Naaaaaaice!” he said, the word flanked by little music notes. XD

NOW what would he do?

“Thanks to you my maracas sound so... shakey-shake SHAKETY!”

Yes? OuO

“There are more children of the forest out there, and I’m sure they’d still love to meet you!”

Or some such words.

....Oh.

I guessed that really was it. Each equipment page now had twenty slots of hammerspace and.... that was it.

I guessed the rest of the Koroks were....

Well what would happen if you got the rest of the Koroks?

....

I might not pursue that in this playthrough.

Well! With my pockets deep as they would ever go it seemed, I ran to see what I could see in another unvisited piece of the world.

I’d seen this one many times in looking over my map of Central Hyrule—it was hard to miss with its contingent of giant ribs sticking out of the earth in unnatural arrangements, the tight cluster of weathered skull-dens, and the giant horned skull that sat atop the crest of the hill.

This was a place my map called the Bottomless Swamp. It was situated on the eastern edge of the central plains, just north of Whistling Hill. But I’d never ventured close to it for the rampant Guardians in the area....

It seemed a Guardian-free approach could possibly be made from the riverbank on the east side. But that direction led up through the forest of battlemented ribs, as well as an overabundance of sprawling, gurgling Pools of Malice. And it was uphill from low ground, no less. No.... I would take the back door.

I could handle the Guardians now.

I ran out into the grass until the Guardian Stalker saw me. It had the higher ground, but I could still time my parries all right.... Maybe due to my experiences outside the Pit Gate, it just made me nervous whenever they had the high ground.... in the grass....

I took the Guardian down, and proceeded to the top of the hill. At the crest, the grass died away and the earth became pale and hard, sinking into a large depression full of bogwater, in the middle of which rested the enormous horned skull. Monsters patrolled around on it, inside and out, except where one massive horn had partially broken off. That ponderous fragment rested alone and low in the muck. Around the edges of the bog, Malice pressed in toward the shore and sloughed heavily away downhill to the east and among the skull-dens clustered into the rock like trophies. By the river, the ribs stood clawlike in a challenging and grotesque barrier. Interspersed with all of this stood tall, jagged rocks that were pocked all over as if they’d been boiled.

Ugh, it was creepy. Malice and bogwater....

I stormed the castle nonetheless, knocking what baddies I could into the muck with my arrows before.... eugh.... paragliding over the bog and landing on the connected horn’s lower tip—for the horns curved back and down and around, like rams’ horns.

The number of silver monsters I was made to endure, Bokoblins and Moblins, was a right pain in my royally beknighted patushka. I knocked them into the bog as often as I could; any gemstones they might have dropped weren’t worth the hassle of beating it out with them over solid ground. Or bone.

After I’d cleared the top, I was blessed to discover a hole in the crown of the skull, via which I could rain terror from above on the inner inhabitants, courtesy of Ja Baij. And as the inner level was not well founded, the blasts were sufficient to knock most of the smaller baddies over the edges and into the sucking, mucky drink. But that big heavy Moblin.... him I just had to sail down and deal with personally.

When every last baddie had been sent back to the Evil Jar, I turned my attentions to the precarious plank of wood bridging a large and dangerous gap in the floor of the inner layer. On the other side, nestled in the cavity of the occipital bun, was a wooden chest.

Huh, wooden....

But appearances weren’t everything. This place was so dreadfully imposing, so heavily guarded, surely there had to be something valuable inside....

I tiptoed my way across the plank, and opened the chest.

It was a hundred rupees.

A cool hundred rupees.

Neat.

Thanks, guys.

I got off the skull island and traipsed around the hillside to the east, skirting the Malice pools and sweeping up what baddies I’d missed. There was a small forest a short way to the north. The forest that spanned from one shore of the river to the other, just near the Wetland Stable. Pikango had said.... there might be a memory in there....

Or, well, rather I had shown Pikango one of the images from Princess Zelda’s pictograph gallery, and he had said the pictograph was probably taken in that forest, though on what side of the river he could not tell.

I knew David had yet to find the memory linked to the pictograph taken in a woods....

But David never stops to chat it up with the locals.

The only problem was.... David and Savannah were in the room with me now, and they wanted to watch a movie.

Huaaugh I killed time in pointless ways, examining boring-looking hills for Koroks, running back to climb a stone tower.... The forest was so close.... I wanted to explore it for the memory, but.... I didn’t want to let on to David what I was doing.... Plus with he and Savannah together in the room.... That was an as yet unknown variable, and I didn’t want to risk any buzzkill at all, especially with a memory cinematic on the line....

Eugh and there was that tense bit in the conversation; David kept pestering me to wrap it up and get off already.... but I kept pressing that I wanted to explore.... How did it lead up to what he said....?

“What is there a memory in there or something?” His voice was still chiding, not serious, but crap.

“I didn’t say that—” Wrong thing to say. “—I’ve been trying to find Koroks....” Or some such lame excuse when I’d ONLY JUST already maxed out my carrying capacity....

I ran around the riverside green like a distractible puppy—typical enough behavior in and of itself whenever I was running out of juice on playtime.... Did it throw him off the scent?

He pressed me further. They wanted to watch a movie.

“Okay, okay,” I said at length when I could think of nothing else to do.

I relented, and went to Pepp’s—it was 9:00 in the morning, game time—and slept until noon.

Good night.

BIG BOYS

Waking of Friday, December 7, 2018

BIG BOYS

In studying the network of bright blue shrine markers on my map, I could still see a few empty spaces between them, too-broad empty spaces with conspicuous geography that looked.... likely....

I warped to the Qukah Nata Shrine high above Faron’s waterfalls, and wandered into the wetlands—the Rabella Wetlands these were called. I could see a spot on my map that looked like somewhere I’d seen David visit before....

And I found it. In the middle of a leafy, dappled plateau, an enormous ribcage jutted into the air, points to the sky. And in the middle of that ribcage, snoring grotesquely away.... a big Black Hinox. I remembered seeing David throwing Bombs at this one from one of the ribs....

The Hinox was surrounded by lesser meanies, just Bokoblins, and these I drew away one by one with my Mask, dispatching them each privily in a manner that did not make me feel proud.

But when it was just me and the big guy, I was able to get closer, and I saw that it had.... an orb?

On went my Barbarian Armor and I killed it then and there! With Urbosa’s help. I was just briefly bewildered during the short time its life-meter was visible. For this one wasn’t just a “Hinox”, but it bore the secondary title of “Eldest Kin”.

Oh yeah, I remembered, It had said that when David was fighting it.

What was this some kinda Super-Hinox?

Well if it had been before, it wasn’t now.

I looted the spoils. Now where the heck did this orb go....?

I looked around, and.... there! There seemed to be some ruins of a sort just a bowshot away. I hefted the orb over the grass and drew nearer to the ruins and—

What the—? Three pedestals??

I set the orb in the pedestal nearest to where I had come from, and approached a small stone marker. The inscription on it said something about orbs guarded by three giants....

And the shrine quest banner flashed across my screen: The Three Giant Brothers.

Heh, it sounded like a kind of fairy tale. ^_^

Well then! Two to go, I supposed! :D

So I had killed the Eldest Kin in the Rabella Wetlands. I spread out and searched now in the directions indicated by the remaining two pedestals....

In a place called Uten Marsh, as the sun was going down, I found the Youngest Kin, a Red Hinox. He was just a little bit down the grassy hill, and so was very easy to get to with my paraglider. So easy, in fact, that I took my flight just a little bit farther than I’d ever gone, and landed right on his big sleeping chest!

He didn’t wake, but only continued to snore.

Link meanwhile adopted the broad-stanced, bent-kneed posture he took on whenever danger was near, and glared with ready eyes down at the beast. But at every heaving breath from the monster beneath his feet, his arms would windmill just slightly, and he would have to twine his torso aright with a little jerk to keep from losing his balance.

“David, look at this!” I choked in a whisper.

“Oh my gosh, what are you doing?” He didn’t sound shocked or impressed, just.... resigned. :|

I stole the orb right off the Hinox’s necklace, turned, and stepped off the side of his big red belly....

I hit the grass with the expected clomp of my boots and little gasp from my lips after the drop.... but the Hinox didn’t wake up.

The orb was still in my hands, still held high over my head. I’d been afraid I would lose my grip on it in the little freefall and it would clonk loudly against the ground, or strike the Hinox. But nothing had happened.

And so I started walking softly away through the darkness, back toward the hill.

Well this was going to be cake! I thought. ^_^ I could just walk off with it!

But I stopped when the ground began to incline, and remembered.

I still needed Hinox guts.

I set the orb down in a place where it wouldn’t roll, and.... I actually felt a little bit sad, when I went back, and just.... killed the thing.

Red ones don’t especially drop a lot of good stuff anyway, but it never hurts to check.

And when I came to Hanu Pond and found the Middle Kin Blue Hinox.... I wasted no time there either, but killed him right away too.

And when I went back to the ruin and placed the last orb in the last pedestal, the Tawa Jinn Shrine appeared. It was a Blessing.

That was 105 shrines for me. David was still at 109? Maybe....?

I continued to wander all over the wetlands. I thought about going up to that one high plateau to kill the Lynel, but.... eh, I held off.

Wandered.... wandered.... I meandered looking for Koroks and new things to explore until I came back to whatever peak that was—the Peak of Awakening? Mount Floria? It was Mount Floria. The Peak of Awakening was above the Lanayru Road.

Mount Floria was the name of the mount between the provinces. The one above Misko’s Treasure Cache, and the Twin Bridges. The peak from which you could see both the Valley of Terror spread before the Dueling Peaks Stable, and the jungled plateaus of the Faron Province.

It was the crest from which I had first seen that Lynel-haunted plateau. The Lynel had been Blue that first time—the kind I’d always wanted to fight, but had never gotten the chance to.

Tougher Lynels kept showing up all the time.

I had a look at the Lynel down there now. Looked like another White-Maned one. I scoped in for a better view, not knowing what in the world possessed me to use my Pictobox zoom instead of the regular scope....

And as the reticle passed over the Lynel, the targeting box briefly flashed, but it was.... orange? What in the heck—The box only ever turned orange if the subject hadn’t yet been logged in the Compendium. I thought I’d already pictographed a White Lynel....

I steadied the Pictobox, and looked again. Lined up the reticle.

And the Sheikah Slate identified it as....

A SILVER LYNEL?

THE HECK.

....

.__.

....

WELL.

I’D JUST HAVE TO FLY DOWN THERE AND GET IT THEN.

I donned my Lynel Mask, and laughed as Link puffed out his chest and cast back his arms in muscular majesty. Forgot about that one. XD

I paraglided in, and could see the subtle differences now. It was still striped like a monstrous Zebra, but it was not so much black-and-white as purple-and-white. Like the other silver creatures, Moblins and Bokoblins and Lizalfos, pale with purple markings.

The thing had 5000 HIT POINTS.

DANG.

....

SO I GOT TO IT UNTIL IT WAS DEAD.

....

Hey I needed the Lynel bits.

After that I kept wandering, just finding a whole lotta Koroks. And finally a claw from the dragon Farosh as well.

More wandering, more wandering, more wandering in the Wetlands.... That would make a good title. Wandering in the Wetlands. Or Wetland Wanderings....

Just a few more Koroks, just a few more Koroks.... I was up to seventeen; if I could just get to twenty, Hestu could fill my last shield slot, and then.... I could find out what would happen next. Just a few more.... Huh, I wonder what color the southern Corridor Lynel is....

I warped to Ishto Soh to check.

It was Silver.

Just my luck.

I didn’t bother with it.

Any more Koroks....?

Hhhhhh.

Running out of juice, I warped to Tera and upgraded a few clothes. Soldier’s Armor all up to level three.... Barbarian Leg Wraps up from level one to level two.... which meant there might be a perk....

And there was! My charge-attack stamina was.... up? Or something? Did that mean.... I could charge up a spin-attack without wearing out so fast? Like how in the Zora Suit I could swim harder and faster without wearing out?

I dunno I’m tired.

PEPP’S AND BED.

GOOD NIGHT.

Definitely Not Girl Stuff

Waking of Thursday, November 22, 2018

Definitely Not Girl Stuff

I considered, at the shindig at Ben’s house. I was too far behind with logging, but.... what the hey. I brought Mary home for a visit, and we played Zelda anyway. By which I mean I played Zelda, and Mary watched. She enjoys it—she asked for it. I assume because it’s the next best thing when I don’t let anybody touch my consoles!

Besides, I had been holding off on something fairly large in the game, and I figured this would be a good opportunity to do it. I dared say it would be entertaining enough, even for someone just watching.

It was when I watched David do it.

After picking up just a few more Koroks in the Hebra region, I warped to the Muwo Jeem Shrine on the tall cliff overlooking the sea, and paraglided to a lonely little island I’d seen more than a few times. Just a speck of rock, really, made visible only by the brilliantly glowing orange shrine that took up most of its surface....

I’d seen it there many times. Don’t know why I’d never gone for it. Maybe because I hadn’t gotten the Faron map yet, and I wanted to wait. Maybe because it was too far out of the way. Maybe because it was just a waypoint to that bigger island out there, paying a visit to which would become almost obligatory, if you were already out that far.... But I’d already seen that place, through David.

Maybe it was because I’d seen that bigger island.... and I knew what a hassle it would be....

On the tiny island, Tenoko Island, we found the Chaas Qeta Shrine, which turned out to hold a Major Test of Strength. I beat this all right, and was rewarded with.... THE CLIMBING SHIRT!!!! SWEET! 8D

HA! And here I thought I’d surely find it on some mountain!

It looked cool! Ropes and straps everywhere with dangling carabiners swinging when I turned.... X-)

I had the set now! ^_^

Upon exiting the shrine, I chucked my Dragonbone Boko Club out to sea, blew up the resident palm tree, and collected from its remains a Korok Leaf. Because of course it would drop a Korok Leaf.... as there was a raft to use right there! Convenient.

Dealing with only a few Octoroks along the way, we sailed out to the big island. I knew the name of it before it loomed across the screen:

EVENTIDE ISLAND

And the moment my feet touched the shore.... those low, heralding bells sounded.... along with the echoing drone of the monk’s summons.

As well as.... some inane, irreverent commentary from Mary, which jarred the moment and I didn’t like it, but.... I didn’t shush her. I’d brought her over so she could enjoy this and well.... THEM’S THE FRIGGIN’ HAZARDS. :p

To you who has traveled to this island...

I present you with a challenge. In your

travels, you’ve relied on the equipment

you’ve found along the way.

Here, you must cast this equipment

aside and face this trial with only your

wits and whatever you can scavenge.

And after a brief blackout of the screen, I stood naked and barefoot on the beach, with no weapon or shield. Just an empty bandolier and the Sheikah Slate still resting against my sleek blue undershorts.

Offer up the orbs to the three altars on

this island. Only then will I acknowledge

your skill and return your items.

And the Shrine Quest title flashed across my screen: Stranded on Eventide, and I was free to move again.

I checked my inventory. As it had been with David, everything I had was gone. Weapons, shields, bows, clothes, items, monster bits, food....

Everything.

Well, I did at least still have the paraglider, though.

Hoo, and I’d thought things were skinny after freeing the Great Fairy Tera....

It had been more shocking to David and I when we’d both watched him play this part. But I’d been expecting it now. Time to get down to business, I thought....

I combed everything I could from the beach, besting a meager camp of three Red Bokoblins with something like a tree branch.

Thank goodness they were only red ones. The weakest kind. A fair marriage to what humble weapons there were to be found. I still felt somewhat spoiled by how many hearts I had by this time, though. David had done this island on a much shorter life-meter.... and shallower pockets....

I found the first orb at the top of a small treehouse guarded by mostly Red Bokoblins. I was able to snipe the lookouts using a very basic bow I had taken from another Bokoblin, and for the rest of them, well.... for each one I put down, that was another dropped weapon for me to pick up as the ones in my hand shattered. Bats and clubs and spears, all glorified sticks, really, and not very hard-hitting. But they sufficed. There was the occasional sword as well.

I had no protective clothing, but the island provided for if I should take hits—crabs along the beach, a smattering of banana trees in the dense patch of jungle, fish already roasted on spits and swiped from Bokoblin fires.... I was confident I’d be just fine.

With the treehouse cleared I picked up the orb, tiptoed past the snoring Blue Hinox slumbering in the sunny open dell in the middle of the island, and made for the pointy end of Eventide.

Half a stone’s cast from the beach, an outcrop of black rock jutted out of the sea. And on that rock was the first of the pedestals. I had to put the orb in there.

Now DAVID.... had done this in a REALLY AMAZING WAY—he had Magnesed the Woodcutter’s Axe from the stump in the middle of the little bog back in the jungle, taken careful aim, chopped down a palm tree so that its log extended between the beach and the outcrop, and then WALKED ACROSS THIS LOG while carrying the orb.

And THAT.... was friggin’ amazing.

I, on the other hand, I did what we’d later seen PB & Jeff do: threw the orb in the water and lifted it up by Cryonising an ice pillar beneath it. It was still tricky, mind! But nowhere near as hardcore as David’s method had been.

Once I’d placed the orb, it vanished away in a melt of blue light, and the pedestal likewise lit up blue. One down, two to go!

I considered confronting the Hinox next (it wore an orb around its neck), but.... No. I went in search of the other orb first. And I found it perched on a tower in the midst of a much stronger baddie camp, a fair distance up the highest hill on the island.

Night had fallen by the time I’d properly scoped out the place. I tried for a stealth approach, and was able to sneakstrike a few of the Bokoblins, but when that last Black Moblin spotted me, well.... we just had to go at it the old fashioned way.

Fortunately my deep pockets and growing collection of crude spears and clubs saw me through, until the run of the high camp was mine. I collected the orb, whacked the impeding slab off the pedestal with a bit of Stasis, and claimed the second pedestal.

Now all that was left was that Hinox....

And for this I had long planned to emulate what David had done....

The Hinox snored in the low spot between the two highest hills on the island. I’d already dealt with the highest hill, but for this I would need the second highest. And the second highest hill held another baddie camp, this one with Electric Chuchus. David’s encounter with them here on this island had been the first time we’d ever seen them. But even then I’d been able to pass on some words of wisdom from Madman Joseph—don’t attack them directly, because they’ll explode.

That was one spoiler I was glad of at least.

And so I spent a few more of the precious arrows I’d collected to blow up the sparking green Chuchus and subsequently flash-fry most of the remaining enemies. And the second highest hilltop was mine.

This hill was important not only for the third pedestal which rested at its top, but also for its craggly, rocky surface on the side leading toward the Hinox’s dell. For partway down that slope was the perfect shelf from which to play Bomb-Golf....

There were also a few large boulders at the crest, and I pushed these off as well as I could toward the slumbering Hinox. At least one of them made contact, and that put a damper on his day all right. He woke up and stood up and found me and started throwing rocks and roaring unintelligible curses I’m sure. And down I scrambled to that one broad stone, just out of reach of the Hinox’s projectiles and just big enough for me and a Deku Leaf....

I must say, Mary was most unimpressed with this pansy approach, and I don’t blame her. But once I’d set up camp I doggedly planted Bomb after Bomb at my feet, whiffing them off into the blue with the Deku Leaf’s gusts of air, and detonating them as they landed in the Hinox’s vicinity. It took a loooong time, but eventually the Hinox succumbed to its inevitable death by a thousand small explosions.

I paraglided down, collected all the leftover bits, and picked up the third and final orb. This I marched back up to the top of that second highest hill, and planted in the final pedestal. And at once across the way, on the tallest grassy top of the highest hill, the Korgu Chideh Shrine came rrrumbling up out of the earth.

The monk spoke again.

You’ve done well to complete the trial.

I will now return your things, as

I promised.

And a brief blackout, and I had all my clothes and gear on again.

Huhh, I’d become.... rather fond of the wild boy look. :c

Though I guessed I could adopt it any time I wanted to.... the climate allowing....

Come, enter the shrine.

It was a Blessing.

*

That romping shrine quest was just enough, and shortly after we’d finished I took Mary back home.

When I got back, I booted up the game again and, feeling aimless like I do, I found myself simply enjoying the day up on top of the highest hill of Eventide. The spot, close to sea level as it was, had that high cold music. That prayerflag song. Huh....

!

I stiffened as I realized that someone was sitting just a bit down the hill from where I was.

A Rito.

The feathers looked dark, though that may simply have been an effect of the sun setting in the sky beyond.

I approached him.

His name was Mimo. Oh hey his sidelocks looked.... like Link’s did when he wore the Wingaling Hat.... all bound up with that anchor-shaped weight on the end.... Was the Wingaling Hat a Rito item then?

Mimo spoke to me about flying, and, wouldn’t you know it, he ran a certain little minigame....

And I spent the next half hour or so throwing rupees at this Mimo in exchange for the pleasure of jumping off the hilltop to navigate through a series of floating hoops Mimo had placed all over the airspace. Aided by a few updrafts that hadn’t been there before, I was able to rack up a higher and higher hoop-count until Mimo acknowledged my mastery of the air and rewarded me back with a hefty sum of rupees of my own. It was much fun! XD

When I’d had enough of the flying course, I went back to Hebra, Koroked a little more and then.... put it to bed.

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

Waking of Friday, November 16, 2018 ~ 2

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

From the Maka Rah Shrine....

Tera. I went to Tera.

I had two Naydra hornshards now.... I could have upgraded my Champion’s Tunic.... if I wanted.

....

I DID. I UPGRADED THE CHAMPION’S TUNIC, and finding myself in possession of further required materials I KEPT UPGRADING UNTIL IT WAS AT ITS MAXIMUM LEVEL, WITH 32 DEFENSE! MORE THAN TWICE WHAT IT HAD BEEN AT BEFORE. AND I UPGRADED THE HYLIAN CLOTHES. AND THE ZORA AMOR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR SINCE I HAD SIXTEEN CORES NOW. AND THE DESERT VOE GEAR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR AGAIN BECAUSE ON THE NEXT AND FINAL UPGRADE EACH PIECE REQUIRED A STAR FRAGMENT AND TWO GIANT ANCIENT CORES. And well.... I just happened to have SEVEN GIANT ANCIENT CORES ON ME. And if I hadn’t been saving them for this.... then what?

UPGRADE ALL THE THINGS.

AND EVERYTHING HAD BEEN CAST TO THE BACK OF MY INVENTORY.

AND ALL MY FAVORITE CLOTHES WERE OFF THE FIRST PAGE.

AND EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF ORDER AND WOULD TAKE FOREVER TO MANEUVER BACK TO EVEN SOME SEMBLANCE OF ITS FORMER STRUCTURE BY FAIRY-ENHANCEMENTS ALONE.

IT WAS ALL OUT OF ORDER.

AND THEN.

I SORTED MY CLOSET.

SORTED SORTED. And it was done now. Couldn’t undo it.

It was done.

And that was all right.

Hoo. Andrea: 1, OCD: 0.

I went to Kakariko to test my maxed-out Guardian Armor, but stopped to talk to Impa on the way. I tried to get that orb in her house again, but no, not yet, she still wasn’t having it.

What happens when you bring it to the pedestal up the hill?

Hhhhh.

I guessed I wouldn’t find out today.

So out the back I went, onto the Sahasra Slope; and a sharp left turn and a hug along the cliffs brought me as always to my favorite monster to milk: the Pit Guardian.

Once I’d attracted its attention, and the terrifying Piano began ripping up the sky above my head in a panic.... I stood my ground, and waited. Facing it.

I let it hit me full on once, in my Ancient Armor. And the hit took off.... five or six hearts.

I’d seen Lynels take off more than that in a single hit.

Well that was cool! :D

My curiosity sated, I killed it.

And it gave me a Giant Ancient Core back. Part of the Ancient Proficiency perk? Maybe.

Ah, life was good.

Shortly thereafter I was distracted by a star fragment that fell into the central plains. I went to get it and came back via the Dueling Peaks Tower. I killed the other two Guardians near the Pit—and the freakin’ stalcreatures were out and making life difficult—but DANG the sound my glowing sword made when it killed was like THUNDER.

RESOUNDING.

POWERFUL.

MY GOSH.

Feeling brash and bold and amazingly confident in my armor and with my parrying skills and wielding the Master Sword, I worked my way back infield and onto the plains. I was going to go to the ranch! To see what was there.... Maybe another horse! Maybe another special horse!

I forgot the Guardians and whatever paltry bother they posed! I was comin’ up bold as brass! I killed the Guardians that spotted me! AND dodged those freakin’ pesky mounted Bokoblins!

That one Big Yigaman posed some problems; I was fighting with him when I again heard the Guardian music! I killed him quickly, and then faced the mechanical menace. It was hard and I took some blasts to the face, but I got him in the end....

NOW to the ranch....

But oh, wait.... my controller was in the red.

....

I could have used the Pro Controller.... David favors that one, and I’ve used it a few times.... like whenever my battery’s run low.... But.... Hm, maybe not against Guardians yet....

I set the WiiU Controller in its cradle, and.... dozed.... on the couch. It was late. But I didn’t wanna let it sit for more than an hour, or it would turn off.... dozed.... dozed....

And I SNIFFED AND SAT UP OH I WAS TIRED.

Ugh—

I couldn’t do the ranch right now.

I warped to Pepp’s. Slept and saved it. Went to bed.

That was enough.

Faron's Five-Cent Tour

Waking of Saturday, October 27, 2018 ~ 4

Faron’s Five-Cent Tour

I warped to the Shoda Sah Shrine in the rainy jungles of Faron, and went up the plateau. I’d seen it from the top of that mountain above the Twin Bridges.... the Lynel. Except it was a White Lynel now.

It had stood between me and the tower. I remembered....

I killed it. Awesomely. I don’t think I even got a scratch.

And I floated down a level to the next broad shelf, and found a Red Hinox.

I killed it, too.

Down another level and I ran into a nest of Lizalfos.

Killed ‘em.

And there, out from the edge of the next shelf downward.... was the crown of the Sheikah Tower. I could have floated over and it would have been a very short climb to the top, but....

I looked down.

An Electric Wizzrobe pranced around the tower’s base, and a cloud of Keese swarmed about its middling heights.

A few appeals to Ja Baij and they were all gone.

I sailed down and ran around the base for a little bit, scaring up what Koroks I could, before giving the tower a proper climb.

And the Faron Tower and local map were mine.

Cooool. I could see the places I’d been to—that pointy sandbar was called Cape Cresia, with a Soka Point at its tip.

All the Floria names were cool. I made my way north to a Keelay Plain—which was one of the very few places I’ve found that have gravel—enjoyed the foley—played some dangerous bog games looking for Koroks in Tobio’s Hollow, then up to the Jia Highlands and Angel Peak.

I was getting quite good at clearing out entire camps of Moblins and Bokoblins before they even knew I was there.

I remember paragliding in to the very last Bokoblin in my mask, his start of surprise and then friendly approach to come talk Bokoblin to me, and how I cut him down in two rapid strokes the instant he was close enough.

Didn’t even give him time to blink.

“I’m a heartless murderer,” I said to myself.

Of course, that very night was a Blood Moon and they all came straight back. In the high meadow I killed the stray Guardian one more time before getting out of there and paragliding all the way to Dueling Peaks Stable—I’d wanted to do that since I first climbed up to Misko’s Cache above the Twin Bridges. I was in roughly the same area....

But I couldn’t think of any business to see to at Dueling Peaks Stable, and I was getting tired, which meant.... it was another warping meander back to the Great Fairy Tera.

I upgraded a crapton of clothes.

And I considered....

I considered.... sorting.... for a while....

Sooorrrrt?

No.

Not cleaning my closet yet

GOOD NIGHT.

Beachfront Shenanigans

Waking of Saturday, October 27, 2018

Beachfront Shenanigans

I entered Lurelin Village!

It seemed.... a lazy kind of place.

I was helping people right off the bat. I supplied Kiana and her son Kinov with a Hearty Blueshell Snail and some Goat Butter—which ingredient I had JUST bought from that Chumin as he ran out of town (it was raining).

But! Kiana let me eat with them for my trouble! And I got a pretty good dish out of it, too! Cool!

Kiana’s husband Sebasto further bemoaned that fishing had become difficult since monsters had lodged up at Aris Beach.

I had flashbacks of Final Fantasy VII at the name. Emily, Lisa, Marlee and I had won some pretty good prizes with those cosplays. But I’d never played much of the game myself. Owing to the awkward questions I got from a much younger David when I made it to the Don’s place. After that I promised myself I’d never play the game again. Sometimes I’ve regretted it.

Monsters at Aris Beach, huh? I still didn’t have the map, so I just made a guess and turned.... left. Uh, northeast.

I ran and scoured the beach for a good long distance, but I didn’t find too many monsters. I found a few. And a few Koroks. But nothing too substantial.

So I came back down the beach, passed the village again and searched to the west. The wind blew in fiercely from the sea on my left. With a glance at my Sheikah Slate I realized.... Oh.... I was at the bottom of my map.

A few more Lizalfos cropped up and took issue with my passage, but I put them down easily enough. And then I saw it—a BIG monster nest, treehouse style, a duplex! Standing in the water just off the sandy shore of a shallow bay.

There’d be no sneaking to the top of this mess with my paraglider.... Unless I felt like hoofing it all the way to the top of one of these mountains, but I didn’t. And I didn’t trust that wind none too much at any rate.

Fortunately, the treehouse seemed mostly full of Bokoblins; there was only one Moblin that I could see. Maybe I could still pull a bit of sneakery. On went my mask....

But I had to take a raft to actually access the joint.

And after that....

Well, you know how these parties go.

I cleared it out and was rewarded with a nice Royal Halberd for my troubles. I’d been seeing those more often lately.... Maybe there wouldn’t be a need for me to hold the precious ones I already had in reserve anymore....

And the banner flashed across my screen—there was an update on the beach-quest!

So I guessed this must have been Aris Beach. Cool. That was good to know.

Maybe I should have gotten the map....

But Lurelin Village would be easy enough to find without it for now.

The Entry For Which I Do Not Apologize

Waking of Thursday, October 25, 2018

The Entry For Which I Do Not Apologize

I wanted to get back on the road to Lurelin, but.... I was distracted by my shrine-detector once again as I wandered around.

My wanderings also brought me back to that Lynel I’d seen from the top of that peak above the Twin Bridges. It had been blue, then. But now it was a White-Maned Lynel!

Why were they all white now? I’d been hoping to try my hand against a blue one.... a nice, medium level against which to test my mettle....

I didn’t want to mess with a White Lynel right now, but I did run a derping circle around it in my mask a few times. Seems if you stay in motion and they don’t get a chance to study you carefully.... they might just stay fooled.

After a time I finally found the shrine I’d been detecting—the Shoda Sah Shrine, hidden behind a big waterfall, like that one near the Lanayru Promenade.

You Shoda Sah me get it.

THEN I came back to the Lurelin Road, and back to that little canyon just beyond the jungle that had been so infuriating, where the cliffs had been impassable in the downpour. Maybe I’d try them again at some point, if the rain-spell were truly broken. But for now, I pressed onward down the road.

Just how far away was this village?

I ran on and on, along the bottoms of the cliffs and back to where I had plunged into the foothills to double back, and beyond, and still the road wound on through treeless, grassy hills and grey mountains, with no sign of the village.

I sported for a little while with a treehouse full of Bokoblins before.... my shrine-detector started going off again.

Maybe this one would be the shrine near the village.... for there was always a shrine near every habitation....

And this time, as it turned out.... it was.

Over the last rise in the road, I could see the sea, and spread along the shore, little fishing huts, and boats resting along the beach.

The shrine, the Yah Rin Shrine, was nearby the village, and it was easy to find.

You just go up the hill from the trail a little bit, and Yah Rin.

I was upon Lurelin Village, but.... I detected buzzkill impending.... and my laundry needed switching out anyway.

So I saved and quit.

Soon.