Huppenwoop

Waking of Saturday, November 3, 2018 ~ 2

Huppenwoop

With the controller recharged I started up at the Serenne Stable again, ready to head to the colder climates of the northwest....

But....

....Was there some kind of buzzkill risk? What slowed me down?

I warped away to Cotera instead.

I had her upgrade some of my Desert Voe Gear, not that it would do me much good north of Serenne.... But....

Mmm I wanted to upgrade more things but when you upgrade things it flings them to the back of the closet; didn’t want to max out too many items before I got to my Champion’s Tunic; wanted to max that one out sooner so that all the other items being upgraded and flung to the back would push it forward onto the front page again....

Dratblast it I didn’t have any Naydra horn! I needed Naydra horn to enhance the Champion’s Tunic....

I had tried to set myself up at the perfect launch point to head into the cold northwest and finally fill in my map.

But I wanted that Naydra horn....

I warped to Mount Lanayru instead, and LOITERED.

I was waiting for the dragon, and it took forever. I paraglided down a bit, and then climbed back up and then climbed up on top of the ice pillars and then paraglided some more.... Down the slope of the mountain I stood on a pedestal of ice. Just stood. Lookin’ cool. Swiveling the camera.

“You know,” I said to David, “I’ve seen you, and everybody else, climbing around tall mountains with that friggin’ Wingaling Hat on your heads.” Just something I’d seen from further unintented glimpses.

David briefly gave me a funny look and then, “Oh,” he said knowingly.

“What do you think of me just climbing around in my Ruby Circlet and Warm Doublet?”

He thought for a moment, then said in a chiding voice, “Inefficient.”

“I killed a Lynel in this thing.” I nodded toward the Warm Doublet. “How do you like me now?”

“I said inefficient, not insufficient.”

“Have you ever killed a Lynel in this thing? It’s got, like, one defense.”

“I’ve never killed a Lynel.”

Well that made me feel right hoity-toity.

I climbed around some more, making Link jump and burning my stamina. “Hup! Hup! Woop! Huhn!” said Link.

“Careful you don’t run outta hup,” said David.

Link wooped.

“Or woop,” I said.

“Hupp ‘n woop,” said David.

“Huppenwoop—that sounds like a band. Like.... Steppenwolf. Huppenwoop.”

“Like a band?” David laughed. “Huppenwoop.”

“Why do I know that name? Didn’t they do....?”

“Magic Carpet Ride,” David supplied.

“Yeah, yeah, I knew it was something from Star Trek.” I had that soundtrack. Good one.

I made sure not to run out of huppenwoop.

I stood some more, waiting for the dragon. I scoped in to look at the layout of the land, and where Lanayru Road was, and what lay between here and there. I told David about the big gross Hinox snoring away in the place with the pristine-sounding name of Purifier Lake. “Nice,” I sneered.

I looked at the low snowfield in the foothills and the little forested area beyond.

“I could go and kill the Hinox. And kill the Lynel.” I considered.

“Gosh!” David burst, “What the heck, I mean you used to be the person that, like.... a speck of dust might move across the screen and you’d be like ‘Oh my gosh what is that run away!’”

“Or that thought a goat was Beast Ganon?” I reminded him with a grin.

“Yes!”

I paraglided down to Lanayru Road a couple of times. I was sure Naydra would make a pass there, or at least I had my suspicions....

And eventually.... HE DID! And I GOT that Naydra Horn! Huzzah! I KNEW he made passes through that valley! I knew that had to be him I’d seen reflected in the microwave door that one time....!

Revisiting the Dragon

Waking of Monday, July 3, 2017

Revisiting the Dragon

Loitering at the Lake Tower. Looking for Farosh.

I was patient this time, and eventually he did appear.

I tried something I hadn’t tried before: when the updrafts came, I leapt off the east turret of the southern bridge tower, paraglided up as Farosh loomed close—he was passing me rather quickly—nocked an arrow, took aim in the slowed time and let fly! Hoping I would hit his horn though it didn’t look like I did!

One of his attendant lightning balls zapped me and I fell in the lake and drowned.

BUT! When I respawned on the bridge, there was a glowing something down on the shore beneath the bridge! Had my arrow knocked it off?

I paraglided down, took a picture—was it one of those items the camera couldn’t identify?—and it was Farosh’s Scale.

Was this the thing that I needed?

Mmm part of me didn’t think so, but WHAT IF?

I looked around—Farosh was nowhere in sight. Where had he disappeared to?

Eh I guessed lightning dragon spirits could manifest or unmanifest at will.

I waited again.

And again Farosh came.

And again I shot him with an arrow! A bit more arbitrary this time, on the underbelly as he passed over the bridge, and I kept my feet on the solid stone.

And again a scale of his fell off and floated glowing in the water!

I paraglided down to collect it, and then warped away to the shrine near Mija’s Spring!

Unfortunately Mija couldn’t do anything with Farosh’s Scales. Evidently I really did need to land an arrow directly on Farosh’s horn.

Hhhhummmmm....

I wandered out to that other little red plateau or butte that stood above the wetlands, connected to the cliffs below Mija’s Spring by a thin, curving natural bridge. I hadn’t been out here before. I expected either a Korok.... or something sinister....

But I found neither. Instead there was a Goddess statue. <3

I was overdue for some praying—she gave me a heart container and another stamina vessel.

Heh, maybe now I can reach that big cubic maze island off Robbie’s laboratory....

But not just now; I was busy. Back to the lake I went.

And again I waited, in the meantime sporting with the Lizalfos in the middle of the bridge, and chasing a particularly devious Korok down one of the broken support pillars.

And again Farosh came.

I climbed back onto the southern bridge tower—it’s a pretty good spot—No wait I think I changed my mind. I got onto the bridge itself, directly in front of where Farosh would be going....

And he came closer.... and closer....

AND CLOSER....

And I jumped for it, pulled back an arrow, utilized the slowed time, adjusted for gravity and arcing, led the target a bit.... and let fly!

There was definitely a sound—a ringing, important-sounding sound, when you hit Farosh with an arrow.

I fired two arrows—had been firing twice at every jump so far, but had only ever managed to knock off one item at a time.

And it streaked off the dragon’s body in a long tail of light, down below the bridge again.

Was this the one I needed a boat to reach? I don’t remember. Dang Octoroks....

And this time.... this time.... I’D GOT IT!

A Shard of Farosh’s Horn! ^_^

And I looked around again, hoping he would make another pass.... but he had vanished again.

Where did he go?

I waited a long, long time for him to show his face again. Seemed he never did if you were looking for him.

One Lizalfos was still alive out on the bridge. An archer. I spent a lot of time running in, jogging back and forth in front of him, collecting the arrows he tried to shoot me with, and then jogging back out when the supply ran dry—after about six or so. I’d put distance between us until he disappeared, and then run back to see him repopulate on the screen, and do it all over again.

I milked that arrow-lizard for so long....

But then finally—the erhu sounded again.

Farosh time!

I ran back to that spot on the bridge.... leapt and fired in slow motion just the same—and got another hornshard. Excellent!

And I saw where Farosh went this time.

Evidently every time someone shoots him with an arrow, he flies straight up into the sky, twining higher and higher and higher—so slowly, so massively—until a great cloudy vortex coalesces high in the heavens, and swallows him up.

Well I guess I can’t really blame him.

If somebody were shooting me with arrows, I’d leave too.

Sorry, Farosh!

Back to Mija!

And she worked her magic!

That souped up my Champion’s Tunic all right! 8 to 14! Dandy! ^_^

And now.... NORTHWARD! Along the path to Chariots-of-Fire Beach and then inland toward the Quarry! There was a memory there, I was quite sure of it....!

THE WAYS

Waking of Thursday, June 8, 2017 ~ 2

THE WAYS

I activated the Sheikah Tower. This was the Lake Tower. Finally those shrines I had been to when I came down here looking for Mei had some landscape to nestle in on my map, instead of just floating out there in the blue.

The new map showed plenty of interesting things.... one of the most conspicuous of which was a very large, perfect circle of what looked like stones, some distance to the southeast. The biggest Korok circle in the world....

And nearby that was—

Lake of the Horse God?

“David!”

“What?”

“Lake of the Horse God?” I looked at him expectantly.

He showed no expression.

David had once had a horse named Shaq. And at some point, he lost poor Shaq somewhere.

So I told him about the horse icon that shows up on the map. That would tell him where his horse was.

But he said he couldn’t find it anywhere.

So I told him to just go catch another horse, board it, and then take the freshly-caught horse out again, and the Stables would find his old horse.

I don’t remember if this worked or not. I think he said it did not work.... What?

And then I’d heard something else from Madman Joseph about “something something blah da da da UNLESS YOUR HORSE DIES blah blah something—”

D:

Did horses.... die?

Did poor Shaq....?

No horse icon, no Stable tricks.

Shaq was nowhere.

Oh dear....

I’ve been hesitant to take my horses on untried roads with me, but.... now I was NEVER going to let them out again! Oh my sweet Babies....

BUT THEN one day David said he got his Shaq back!

“Where was he?” I asked. :D

But David didn’t elaborate. “I just got him back. There are ways,” he added mysteriously.

“How?” I really wanted to know where he found his horse.

But he would only say that there were ways....

“Teach me the ways!” I said, not really wanting him to. :D

And he didn’t.

“Who told you about the ways?”

“Nobody, I just found them.”

“Did anyone.... talk about them at all?”

“No, I just went to a place and.... there were the ways,” he shrugged with a smile. “You can find any horse that way. Even if it’s dead.”

WAT. ._____.

“One time one of my horses died, and I already knew about the ways, and so I went there right away and.... got my horse back.” He shrugged loudly.

He was trying to impress and it was working.

“....Teach me the ways!” :D

But he just laughed....

There was something else out southeast—a marker I had left down in this region, back when I was in Faron Woods south of the lake with Tye and Sorelia. It marked another shrine I had seen, but not gone to claim.

I could see the shrine from the top of the tower—and from this height I could see it was next to a stable! Excellent.

Actually there was quite a lot I could see from this height; it was rather like looking at the map in my Slate.

It looked like there were two ways to get to that shrine and stable: one was a road that seemed to wind through Faron Woods, somewhat to my left. And the other.... well the air was quite clear, and I was quite high up.... and just in case I wasn’t, the ground looked most navigable....

I took the second option, and jumped for it, paragliding through the air....

Of course I wasn’t high enough; I should have known. Ahh, but you just feel so good when you’re so high up and the land lies so plain all around you!

I came down onto some bald, pointy hills crawling with Lizalfos—landed almost right on top of one, with no choice then but to whack him off. But with his health bar visible to me, I wasn’t worried. The Champion’s Tunic really is quite handy. No surprises.

At David’s suggestion I climbed to the top of that pointy little hill, and again paraglided toward the shrine and stable. I crossed over a wide open green field prowled by mounted bokoblins, the creepers.... But my angle this time was such that I didn’t have to worry about them either: I landed within breathing distance of the stable—the Highland Stable.

And that big circle I’d seen on my map wasn’t a giant Korok circle.... it was a circle of young cypress trees encompassing the stable! It made for quite a comely effect, I must say. Maybe they planted it as a barrier against the bokoblins so close....

Well! No time for the stable just now—I had a shrine to lock down. “The Ka’o Makagh Shrine!”

I read the name with such fierce enunciation that David laughed. “Sounds like ‘Leggo my Eggo’ when you say it like that,” he said. XD

I again felt only slightly cheap inside as I became aware of small Guardians around corners before I saw them—thanks to my Tunic. The first one had 100 health. The second one had 13. 13! Maybe that was the kind I’d faced in the shrines back on the Plateau so long ago. 13.... What a pitiable number....

I cut it down in one hit with a 14 Lizal Boomerang. And it gave me Ancient Gears. “Why thank you!” I told it. ^_^

When I’d claimed the Spirit Orb and exited the shrine, I took only a brief skip around the stable to meet the locals before heading into the stable’s backyard—opposite the wide green field, a similar lawn stretched away between two tall grey cliff faces, bending out of sight to the right. The Lake of the Horse God was back there....

The lawn rose up a bit before coming to an abrupt end and a short drop into the water. But there was nothing there but a Korok. The dry-ish waterway continued on between the two cliff faces and away out of sight....

What were The Ways....?

I tried bringing one of my horses to the edge of the sward before the water.... but still nothing happened.

Above the water, rather over the far end of the little lake, a wooden bridge extended across from one cliff face to another—a path seemed to cut through the mountain just there. I boarded my horse again, ran back to the lake—the wild horses which haunted the backyard were getting tired of my passing by now—and climbed up to the bridge.

Horse God Bridge it was called. But the path beyond it, to the left, didn’t lead anywhere except to a nameless little pond at the end of a tiny box canyon.

Hm, but the topo there had a strange symmetry to it.... Maybe it was worth a look, as long as I was there.

I followed the trail and found.... another Fairy Cocoon! :D

Well that was dandy! ^_^

I approached the cocoon. The same low, mournful, distorted voice rumbled out from inside it. But it said....

“Hast thou... I mean... Have you ever felt the pain of losing a horse companion?”

And one half of me thought, Oh my gosh it’s The WAYS!! 8D

And another half thought, No wait please speak all archaic to me, I love it! D:

“Hast thou... I mean... Have you....” XD

I wondered how the original Japanese must have read.

Well, it seemed this fairy had the ability to resurrect any horse companions I might have lost.... but first I had to hand over a thousand rupees. Through a crack in the cocoon, she held out a snappy, expectant hand like the others had done.

I’d done a little business back at the stable, making just over a thousand on my monster parts collection. Easy come easy go I guess. I handed it over.

The cocoon pulsated and rippled apart into a flower, mystical water splashed in its center, and up came—oh this one’s hair was different—no was it a headdress of some kind?—like plates, or scales, shingled over her head—no there were too many pieces, too much to the form—the whole form—her whole body—so textured—banners and braids and trailing things—what shape was this?

This wasn’t like Cotera or Mija.

The Horse God had a long neck like cloth dancing in the wind, and its face was a rustruddy, stylized mask engraved with many designs.... a horse’s face. Rather like the shape of the stables themselves.... And although the face was static, it still moved.... queer little jerks and twists and shakes, like the movements of a bird’s head, though perhaps not quite so sharp.

The hands however were still the same robust, womanly hands with elegantly painted nails.

But the arms....? There was just.... a misty, purplish kind of.... something....

“Ah, if my arms were corporeal, they’d surely be all cramped up by now!” the Horse God said as she.... he.... it.... stretched.

The voice was still low and warbly.

I’ll just say it was a she. And her name was Malanya.

She pondered for a moment on how to repay me before leaning in quite close and saying, “Shall I make you my meal?”

But then she leaned back out with a laugh.... only kidding.... haha.... hahhhh.... .__.

She seemed to read my experience with horses and pronounced me to be in some kind of good standing I gathered.

Well my horses are quite closely bonded with me.

She said if I ever lost a horse companion, she would be able to bring it back for me.

But if she sensed any kind of foul intent.... in the death of my horse....

She leaned in close again, her sharp-nailed hands floating creepily. “Then you shall suffer my wrath!”

o__o

Sounds like she means bidness....

“You found the ways!” David patted my shoulder.

Well, I could handle that well enough I think.

“I found the ways!” ^_^

Hylian Barbecue

Waking of Thursday, June 8, 2017

Hylian Barbecue

“Hey David, say that really sad line that Folken says,” I grinned.

David laughed as his eyes raked the ceiling for recollection.... “Oh yeah, uh.... ‘Will somebody please tell me WHY . . . . MY WISHES NEVER COME TRUE?’ T___T ”

“But they do, David!” :D And I dived into the cupboard and powered up the WiiU.

I warped from the Akkala Ancient Tech Lab tooooo.... “The Shrine of Ja Baij will do nicely!” I said. ^_^

“Are you going Guardian-hunting?” David asked.

“Nope!” I climbed out of the East Abbey, got on the edge of the Plateau wall, set my nose toward the Bridge of Hylia.... and took a flying leap.

David might have sunk into his phone again.

I hit the ground running and booked it for the bridge! I dashed across the stones—stopping only briefly to throw a rock into the water far below to scare up a Korok—one shot!—and kept on running!

I ran past the Lizalfos in the middle! Didn’t have time for them!

I ran all the way to the other side!

And there mounting up from the cracked and craggy hills to the right was....

“Wait are you doing a Tower?” David asked.

“Yes!”

“Ohoh!” he perked up at this—he’s been dying for me to explore more.

“Wishes do come true!” I cheered.

“You’re doing it, Peter!” he cheered back.

This Sheikah Tower looked easy enough! There were a few Bokoblins about, but honestly who cares about Bokoblins?

I didn’t follow the path but was once again keeping to the high ground, on the right side, the side near the bridge. Maybe the left would have been better as it connected with that big ridge surrounding the lake.... more ground to stand on....

But no matter! I huffed it up into the hills—the earth was so cracked and shattered here! I wondered if it had become all broken up like this when the Tower had burst out of the ground....

My progress was just dandy as I leapt from slab to slab of the erupted crust. My Champion’s Tunic showed me the life-meters of enemies I couldn’t even see—hiding in the low path that ran through the shade of the widest cracks.

Part of me thought it was nifty, but part of me thought.... it was kinda cheap....

Couldn’t say it hadn’t come in handy sometimes, though.

I came to a high spot and thought to have a little look around, but....

Fire Wizzrobe.

It had just come into view, close enough for me to see. Him I didn’t need. As viewpoints went, this would have to suffice; I didn’t want to stir up any unnecessary trouble—

That high-pitched giggling off to my right side.

Uh-oh.

Didn’t move fast enough. There must have been another Wizzrobe, and it sounded like he’d spotted me.

Another Fire Wizzrobe, just my luck.

I sprinted for it, hopping over the cracked earth—maybe if I put enough distance between him and me he’d lose interest....

But as I made it to the lattice-like walls and huffed it up the tower, I could hear the Wizzrobe still following me. Rats....

Well, I’d just have to move extra quick-like. And just as well, because it was bedtime for me anyway. Surely the Wizzrobe would leave off if I just kept climbing farther and farther away....

I heard the swishing, plishing sound of magic warming up, and tensed myself to jump to a higher part of the viney lattice if need be. A roaring rush of sound followed, and an explosion rocked a lower part of the tower—seemingly on the other side from where I was.

Oh would he just get lost already?

I only listened to the Wizzrobe skipping through the air again as I continued to climb, and catch my breath on the platforms. More magic. More explosions. And then—

There was a sound from the Wizzrobe that was quite different, and then it was as if the earth were erupting in fire here and now around me. Flames licked up through the air, and burning stones bigger than my head fell like hail around me, and the sky and all beneath it became tinged by a red haze and everything was shaking and rumbling and rumbling and shaking and ROARING . . . .

This was the Wizzrobe’s doing?

“What the heck is going on?” I wailed. D8

“I don’t know! I’ve never seen this happen before,” said David.

“Nothing attacked you here?”

“Well I watched where I was going—I didn’t let anything see me.”

I kept climbing. None of the raining firestones were hitting me....

“It’s getting hot....” David pointed out.

“I know....” I said, though I was mostly just focused on keeping climbing.... I spared the thermometer a quick glance. It was in the red.

“Drink an elixir!” said David.

“I don’t have any.”

“Nothing?”

“Nope.” I had to stop on a platform to regain my stamina.

“You’re slowly getting hurt from the heat,” said David.

I was panting. Two hearts were gone.

“Just kill it!”

“Rahh—” I jumped onto the wall again. I was almost there....

The earth still rumbled—the fire still rained—another jump—costly—didn’t want to risk another one here at the end—a third heart was burning away—

And as I climbed over the last horrible outleaning lattice and cleared the upper edge—

The firestorm ceased.

The rumbling stopped.

The sky became light blue again; the haze of heat and fire was gone.

And I stood, and the world was calm, and quiet.

“Oh man....”

Friggin’ Wizzrobe.

Maybe I should start brewing some cooling elixirs....

One Last Hitch

Waking of Saturday, May 27, 2017 ~ 6

One Last Hitch

I pranced past the wolves again—you know, if you zap one with a Flame Rod, the rest’ll leave off sure enough but.... there won’t even be any cooked meat left—and down round the cliffside to the little wood with the pond.

And there in the pond was a large green cocoon.

I stepped up on the toadstool pedestal and addressed the being inside.

She was likewise afflicted by the lack of well-wishers and gift-offering devotees, but could have her powers restored if I gave her.... five hundred rupees.

Well. I was loaded enough for that. Chump change.

I handed it over—brought myself below six thousand again but no matter—and the Great Fairy’s cocoon blossomed and opened into a beautiful deep blue flower. (Cotera’s had been pink.) She burst from the large mystic pool in the center of the blossom, huge, gaudy, sparkling....

Her name was Mija and she was decked much as her sister Cotera had been, but in garb and jewelry of light lavender, rather than pearly white. And her hair matched: she sported an absolutely voluminous purple pompadour, which looked big enough for me to legitimately get lost in if she leaned over too far.

I just love the Great Fairies’ designs. X-)

She thanked me for restoring her power, and I set her loose on my wardrobe. One by one she upped the defense of my garments. Cotera had worked her magic by blowing over her palms at me, as though to dust me with mystic glitter. Mija simply kissed her forefinger and then gave me a cutesy loving tap that made me blush.... whether in embarrassment or patient disgust I couldn’t tell—WHO DESIGNED THESE ENCOUNTERS they’re so adorable.... though Mija’s elegantly painted fingernail looked big enough to scratch my face clean off....

She was able to modify all of my garments except for one—the Champion’s Tunic.

To fix it up, she needed a few Lizalfos horns, which I had; some other variety of monster-bits I don’t remember, which I also had; and—

I coughed.

Two shards of Farosh’s horn?

O.O

Well that.... would be an epic thing to collect! OuO!!!

But right now there was no more time for delays! It was time to head north!

It was time to find Robbie!

Down the sweeping mountainside I jogged, the seashore creeping in on my right side. I ran from wolves; I ignored Lizalfos. I had somewhere to be. Strange landmarks I had seen in my map passed in and out of view as the land leveled out just above sea level. The beach pressed close along the grassbound road, and I huffed beside the waves, both 10,000 Miles and Chariots of Fire ringing simultaneously through my head as I jogged through the yellow-grey grass....

There were road signs to the Akkala Ancient Tech Lab. I was getting close.

The land began to climb again, and off in some trees on the east side, a woman tried to flag me down.

Eh, I hadn’t practiced in a while....

She asked me something about Lord.... Lord.... Lord Somebody. Must’ve been some Yiga bigwig. Oh, how I was tempted to give the insulting response, but.... I thought to probe for information instead.

But the woman only fawned a bit more over this person and then....

(Ah, and the Piano always drips the same high chill down the back of your neck!)

“I will take your life!” she hissed.

We fought.

I won.

“And I will take your bananas!” I answered.

And I did.

Further on there was yet another Stable! The East Akkala Stable. And there was a man there who sold hot buns for ten rupees apiece—each one granted an entire extra temporary stamina wheel.

I’ll have to remember that.

There was another man there, a soldier-looking type of fellow, who asked me if I had heard of Kilton.

! As a matter of fact I had! From that Chabi woman I met at the parade grounds. But she’d seemed so genuinely interested in the man....

But Soldier Fellow impressed upon me that this Kilton was some kind of menace, and that he was the source of many awful rumors and much disquiet. A general disturber of the peace.

He asked me, if I ever met Kilton, to very carefully note his appearance, so that I could describe it back to him in detail.

Eh.... I agreed.

Seems this Kilton is taken for good and ill.... I do wonder what all the fuss is about....

But I would not wonder now.

Robbie was right up the road. Just a little father!

I hoofed it up the hill!

I was so close!

I could see the outline of the laboratory! A giant telescope and great bits and shapes sticking out in all angles—

A red targeting laser needled onto my shirt.

The Piano turned wicked....

Cover. Run, I thought. Keep running.

But no, there was no cover in my course. Where was it coming from? Recalculation would take precious time....

I turned wildly—I had passed a large red rock jutting out of the earth to the right of the path.

The rusted Guardian had been right on the other side of it.

No one coming from the direction of the stable would have been able to see it.

That was dirty! D:

I ran back to regain the other side of the rock—the laser flickered—that high beeping—

I didn’t make it in time.

The blast sent me rolling.

But I was still alive. Probably thanks to Mija’s very recent upgrades!

But only just. How many hearts did I have left, three? Four? Not enough to take another hit. I got back to my feet as the Guardian began to recharge its laser, and dashed back round the boulder to skid to a panting halt on the other side.

Three hulking Stalmoblins popped up out of the ground to keep me company.

Man.

The Piano turned a different flavor of wicked as I quickly reached into my pockets for something to eat; I rather wanted a few more hearts on my side before I dealt with these bozos....

Once they were dead the Piano left off and it was quiet. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I could still hear the Guardian swiveling its head around on the other side of the rock. Looking for me.

I climbed a bit onto the red stone—thank goodness it wasn’t too steep to stand on—and had a careful look.

The guardian seemed fixated on the road. Just swiveling back and forth, glowing a vigilant blue....

Huh.

Well, first I appealed to Ja Baij. Purah had upgraded my bombs after all. I decided to see what they could do.

I chucked one over the top of the rock. But I detonated it too soon and the Guardian took no damage. It was tricky without being able to see the shape of the ground on the other side.

I chucked another one, waited a little longer.... and detonated again.

The Guardian’s health went from 500 to 498.

It shot a blast at nothing and swiveled harder.

Well that wasn’t very encouraging.

I chucked a few bombs more, gnawing away at the Guardian for a while and making it blow up bits of earth near the path at every turn, but....

This was taking too long. I had to hit it with something harder.

I consulted my bows and equipped the strongest one, and readied my Shock Arrows. I had quite a few to spare.

And after a deep breath, I jumped forward, stood up tall on the top of the rock, drew back my bow and waited for its eye to turn my way.... If things went sour, I could just back up and fall back into cover....

But it never turned. It just kept swiveling at the road. Creeping thing....

I put the Shock Arrow away and loaded a regular one. Just to test it.

It tunked off the back of the Guardian’s head, and it turned to see me.

I shot its eye!

AND IT STUTTERED! Shaking and swiveling as though trying to clear itself, trying to reset!

I shot its eye again!

The damage was mounting up considerably faster!

I shot it again and again in the eye! Sometimes it swiveled too far to the side and I lost my target but.... I was patient.... I could wait....

Did any of my bows break? I don’t remember. But I had plenty of equipment with me....

And every time its eye turned my way I shot it again.

Its energy dropped farther, and farther again until.... with a whirring and a crackle of shattering light.... ITS SHELL BUCKLED AND IT EXPLODED!

I KILLED A GUARDIAN!

I KILLED A GUARDIAN!

HAHH.

Now . . . . I will know

. . . . whether GUARDIANS . . . .

RESURRECT AT BLOOD MOON.

The Akkala Ancient Tech Lab was waiting up the hill.

I followed the path just a little bit farther—more rusted Guardians glowered at me all around the house—

They were dead.

Dang it, Robbie.

I approached the door, and let myself inside.

A pot-bellied.... machine of some kind, with a stylized, slit-eyed face and a mouth that looked like it could open, stood in the middle of the room.

“I... It’s...” it juddered in a hollow metallic voice. “An... It’s...”

What did that mean?

“What are you doing here?”

Two Sheikah stood behind me: a well-built woman of average height, and a tiny little old man wearing the strangest goggles.... Could that be....?

Chills

Waking of Saturday, May 27, 2017 ~ 4

Chills

“What’s that screaming?” I asked.

“It’s a Bokoblin,” said David, “Being scared by a Flying Guardian. Repeatedly.”

Oh. .__.

It was.... a long time before I was ready to make that dash. David meanwhile kept assuring me that that was the way he went, and he made it just fine.

And I made it up all right, too. But dealing with the Bokoblins was a little more troublesome—didn’t want to be seen by the Guardians while I beat around on the staircase with the lower lifeforms. But I eventually got them out of my hair, undetected.

Seemed the Guardians didn’t patrol this section of the spiraling stone stairway.

They did the others, though, and so it was to be another scramble up the red, red rock to get past them.

The only trouble was that it started to rain, which gave my nerves plenty of time to boil over at the thought of what ungodly horrors I might find waiting for me over the last high ledge....

At length the rain went away, and I started climbing again. I had a few close calls with my stamina, but I did make it to the top—just on the other side of a low wall from a rusted Guardian.

“Oh for Satan, that thing is alive—!”

I could tell it was alive for my Champion’s Tunic.

“Oh that guy?” David shrugged. “I never dealt with him.”

Oh gads.... it was RIGHT THERE....

I believe this was when my condition began to deteriorate.

I backed away from it, trying to stay in the sight-shadow of a tall stone pillar.

Dark embers rose from the ground—

Oh no—it wasn’t a—?

But I looked at my clock. It couldn’t be a Blood Moon. It was far from midnight.

And then I heard the sound. A constant kind of gurgling like a guttering drain.

Malice pools. And they were close.

I peered round the edge of another wall and saw the great, gelatinous mass of it—dark, glistening, evil. Glowing and hungry to burn.

The huge, bulbous pool seemed to surround the entire ruin about the base of the tower, and I could see only one way for me to go: to the right, in front of the rusted Guardian. D8

There was a metal box there.... maybe I could hold it up so the Guardian wouldn’t see me as I moved—

“No, don’t go that way!” said David, “Go the other way.”

“What?” I was already shivering. The other way?

I looked.

Leftward around the edge of the summit was a clear lot of dirt to be sure, but—

Those propellers.

A Guardian Flyer patrolled just off the edge over that way.

My breath came in quivering gasps.

David laughed and asked if I were okay.

“Oh yeah—yeah I’m good.” Whispers punctuated by juddering lungs.

I squatted down and crept.

What in the world were herons doing here? How could birds even live here?

The sound of those propellers as I traipsed along so close to the edge....

And then a path inward, away from the edge, presented itself—an old.... red.... carpet?

What kind of place had this been?

Somewhere nice I imagine.

But it was the opposite of nice now....

“Oh gads, oh gads....” I kept breathing as I moved slowly forward up some stone steps—I did not want to be higher.

“Maybe this isn’t the game for you!” David laughed.

Don’t think I haven’t thought that before, David.

“No no, I’m good—” I breathed in another trembling whisper....

One Malicious Eyeball, a bit of precarious Magnesis, a few stray Bokoblins and a Blood Moon later....

“Okay that’s a bad place, don’t wanna go there, oh my gosh, don’t touch that thing, that is a bad thing, okay careful careful, hhhhh, now now now come to me my love I want to shoot you, don’t fight with me, OH GEEZ, okay okay okay over we go careful now oh gads—”

My rantings were not improving.

“Oh my gosh, Andrea, you sound like a wreck!” David kept saying.

“No no no I’m great,” I insisted in a half-mad rasp.

“I didn’t even think this tower was that bad!” he said.

It was a tight snail’s shell maze with many rooms, and the floor was lava. Or close enough.

Maybe it would’ve been better if it was lava; a couple of the Bokoblins I disarmed and knocked into it stayed alive.... just moving around in the stuff....

Ughuhuh....

When I finally made it to the top of the tower, I was heart-stoppingly confronted by another rusted Guardian.

Much like the skull-rock at the Military Training Camp, it must have been carried up by the tower’s bursting from the ground.

However, this one was quite dead.

Just serendipitous I happened to come up the tower-chute directly facing it. .__.

Gads.

I downloaded the map.

This was Akkala.

I studied the finer details.... that dark spot up north.... there at the end of that road....

“I’m pretty sure that’s what you think it is,” said David.

FEVER

Waking of Saturday, May 27, 2017 ~ 3

FEVER

There is a really joyous kind of abandon to this game that.... really doesn’t give a fig whether you’re hungry, or low on sleep, or even trying to keep a careful log.

There are colors in the distance, and creatures to behold.

There are hills with other sides to be got to....

Sometimes I forget why I’m writing this.

Sometimes I wonder what I’m even doing.

Part of it is for me. I’m a journaler, I’m a logger, I crave the art of crystalizing experiences within combinations of words—and this is one exciting adventure to take down!

But part of it is still a love letter too. Still one great big reaction comment composed with love to the game’s developers.

Hhhh, I just keep falling into this cycle lately. It goes like this:

1. Plunge into the game for several hours without coming up for air.

2. Jot down a skeleton of notes and then crash.

3. Guardians in all my nightmares.

4. Flesh notes out into proper log entries.

5. Get super caught up in finessing the writing until I think I’ll never catch up to my last save point.

6. Procrastination Oreos.

7. Half-watch David play when it’s not too spoilerish, and if he starts laughing at how few shrines I have compared to him, remind him that I’m still way richer than he is. And I have Zora pants.

8. Ache to play the game again myself.

9. Remember that I’m not writing a friggin’ novel; zoom out, pull back, and gloss over with quicker, easier log entries until I write up to where I am in the game.

10. Repeat.

It drives me.... only a little bit batty.

HuHHH I didn’t want to keep falling into that one; it’s just that I love the game so much. I love to play it. I love running around the world and seeing where the trails lead and rooting out the secrets.

I’d thought to just take smaller bites of the gameplay, to make the logging easier, but....

Oh man....

KNOWING the heaps of self-inflicted homework it would lay on me, and yet.... feeling so full of a glorious lack of concern, and ultimately deciding that.... I didn’t care! —

~

It was with the freest, sunniest abandon that I forgot the Hateno House, warped to Zora’s Domain, climbed up into Upland Zorana, and paraglided into the warm, autumnal glow of the north countries. The sweet lush valleys I had so scarcely laid eyes on.

(Which was the same route David used to get into Zora’s Domain, by the by: he Cryonised his way up one of the waterfalls near Toto Lake.

He said he’d tell me some day and now he’s told me and now I’ve recorded it.)

I sailed down into lush grass beneath ruddy trees with golden leaves, where red rocks broke through the surface of the earth in lumps and piles and wild cascades just begging to be jumped and hiked and climbed upon!

Scattered a pack of wolves just to enter that first nearby shrine!

Crossed over beautifully shaded bridges beside towering, romantic waterfalls beneath the cliffs of Zorana!

Trekked westward past the Akkala Parade Ground Ruins!

There were parades here once? :D

Contracted a tiny case of the willies as I looked over the big open square—decided to stay on the road!

All the while the terrible Sheikah Tower patrolled by Guardian Flyers loomed tall and mighty above me to the north....

Threw a bokoblin off a woman named Chabi, who gave me in return.... what some kind of Monster Essence? 8O

Said she got it off a guy named Kilton, who runs some kind of establishment called Fang and Bone, and that it’s only open at night, and it deals in.... all things monster??

She said that essence would go great in any dishes I cooked, but.... I had reservations.

Continued west as the path gained in altitude, and came upon—a diverging of the ways! The bridge north to the tower? Or a paraglider float west to a very near stable?

Briefly felt like Robert Frost! D:

HNNNGGG Decided to lock down the stable first and SO....

Continued west again!

Rescued a couple of sisters from some more bokoblins! How dandy it was to be able to read my enemies’ health-meters!

“I got the Champion’s Tunic!” I had joyed to David.

“Oh!” he gave me a polite smile, “where’d you get it?”

“Impa gave it to me!”

—And his furrowing brow made his eyes narrow at me and he looked confused....

Well where’d he get his Champion’s Tunic?

Continued along the yellowy path!

Found the Foothill Stable and beat the resident shrine!

Cliiiiimmmbed the long road back to the bridge toward the north!

SPORTED WITH SOME BAD GUYS AND FOUND SOME LOVELY WEAPONS!

CROSSED THE BRIDGE TOWARD THE NORTH.... CLOSER TO THE AWFUL TOWER....

Found.... another Stable first! :D The South Akkala Stable!

This was Akkala! I knew it!

Robbie was somewhere close!

And that tower, high up on the red crag, had to have the Akkala map!

Started climbing the red, red rock!

Encountered—

Oh....

Right....

GUARDIAN FLYERS. .__.