And that has made all the difference.

Afternoon of Tuesday, July 2, 2019 (plus several finicky editings through July 16 because I couldn’t leave it alone) .... (and just one note from 2023)

And that has made all the difference.

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve beaten the game.

And I guess.... I can’t help but feel a kind of letdown.

I’ve experienced it before; I’m sure many people have. You draw near the end of an epic adventure, and you can sense the finality impending somehow, and you almost don’t want to proceed.... even though the Hero in you knows he must.

You don’t want it to be over.

But I guess, for me, here and now at least, it’s not really over. Not really. There are still two shrines to get. More Koroks to find. My Compendium to fill.... And of course the faraway dread terror of the option to Start A New Game, which would overwrite the present. Dratblast it, Nintendo, why couldn’t you make multiple saves....?

But then, they’ve never really done that, not for Zelda games. You were always allotted one file, and that was it. And it sufficed. I think some other JRPGs must have spoiled me....

At any rate it doesn’t have to be really over. There are new files to play, old sequences to break, and beyond a new game.... another new game. For I have seen the new Zelda trailer. Or another old game, for there are some Zeldas I haven’t played yet. Or another different game, for I’ve been hankering after Tales of Symphonia lately for some reason. Or maybe the Final Fantasy 10 and 10-2 I picked up for Switch. Always heard good things about those ones....

So I guess this kind of adventure is never really over. But it does come in seasons. And seasons still have to sleep. And that does leave you feeling.... kind of empty. Though like a bygone feast you can still taste it on your lips, and there is great satisfaction in the memory as you finally recline to digest.

I would make a terrible Buddhist.

....

I still have not moved from where I left my saves two weeks ago, but I’ve decided.... not to go back and play from the save before I entered the Sanctum. I won’t overwrite where I’ve been. I don’t want to dishonor the very first ending of my adventure, or vanish my initial slaying of the Great Beast of Malice.

Things experienced for the first time are different. They’re special.... How did I put it....? “....Initial playthroughs are always special, because the secrets and surprises are all fresh, the twists and turns jarring....”

So long ago I said that, back at the head of this very log.

Good thing I wrote it down. The shortest pencil is longer than the longest memory.

And speaking of things written down, I found what I thought I had remembered—I did experience that same conundrum of choice before, at the end of Skyward Sword. The abominable saving quandary. I had journaled about it. Of course I had. Because I am the Journaling Fiend. In case you hadn’t noticed by now:

“Sunday, June 10, 2012, into the very early morning of Monday, June 11, 2012

I stood stock-still, fearful of accidentally pushing any buttons that might kill the buzz. But as everything finally faded to black, I was presented with a choice.

Do you want to play in Hero Mode?

The affirmative answer read, “Bring it on.”

The negative answer.... well, I can’t remember.

What pause this gave me.

But I never wanted to play this game again, so.... no. No thanks.

Are you sure you want to return to the start menu without saving?

Augh, but I did enjoy the feelings of those cinematics. Although they’re never as good the second time....

Um, no, not sure. Yes. Save.

Your progress up to this point will be deleted. Are you sure you want to save and do Hero Mode?

Deleted? Oh dear. Wait. No, don’t save.

Are you sure you want to return to the start menu without saving?

.... My eyes bugged in flummoxation.

Cinematics, viewed often, lose their charm. I’d negotiated the same turmoil at the first savepoint after Groose crashed my skydiving.

I couldn’t go through those again. No. The adventure I’d just survived, the shattering of my shield in some godforsaken phantom realm of turmoil and lightning.... that insistent little fairy I had forgotten....

No, I wouldn’t go back there again. Among the million different stories told for the million different players, my own version of this adventure had come to too satisfying an end.

This story needed to be saved and put to rest.”

So even then I couldn’t bring myself to erase what had already been done, I see.

Maybe it comes from a journaler’s need to record. To save. For better or worse.

Save file linearity notwithstanding, I ought to be grateful that Breath of the Wild seems to end Ocarina of Time style, rather than Skyward Sword style. That is to say, I can beat the game and have the ending under my belt, and then play the end again without having to start from the very beginning.

And still have time to play in between.

The whole world is open to me now, all of Hyrule. And I am strong. I want to find those shrines.... and then storm the castle again....

....

Did I write down all of Skyward Sword, too? No. No I didn’t. Just bits from the ending, as they struck me so deeply.

Heh, so deeply I could feel their reverberations even here, as Fi still sang her song from a bleeding blade on the battlefield, deep in that last rainy memory....

Did you hear that soundbyte?

Hahhh!

It has always pleased me to write down that which strikes me. Or if not always, then for a very long time at least. It’s therapeutic. It’s insightful. It’s often surprising and inspiring! They say you don’t learn much when your mouth is moving. But I would dare to say it’s the opposite case when your pen is scrawling or your keys are ticky-ticking. In writing down what strikes you, you might just strike yourself in turn.

And in this case of logging down the entire video game of Breath of the Wild.... well, it’s true that it has pleased me, yes.... It has pleased me, bothered me, tickled me, TORMENTED ME, DELIGHTED me, INFURIATED ME, ENRAPTURED ME, and driven me STARK, RAVING and GIBBERING BONKERS.

The entire game.

I wrote the entire game.

I have journaled my way through an entire video game.

What an intriguing notion.

What an exciting project.

What a gargantuan undertaking.

I knew I should’ve set all my affairs in order before I started playing.

Five megabytes this document weighs now. Five megabytes!?

Have you ever written for five megabytes straight? 614 pages of solid twelve-point Times New Roman inside one-inch margins? Though there are some dregs below this down to page 630.... and a lot of material preceding this that remains unedited yet as of this writing; that’ll push this part further down.... And it’s all been slowly shoved ever lower by the ever-expanding CONTENTS section anyway.... I knew the confluences would never last whenever I remarked on what page I was on.... Where’s Revali now?

....Heh, looks like he’s been pushed to page 501.

Poor sod.

Five megabytes....

279,000 words.

[And I’m sorry to say, as of the deep waking of Thursday, May 11, 2023, that I can calculate the final size no further, due to much of the latter portions of this work being completed in segments post-computer-failure. But maybe some day.]

I wrote the entire game.

I’ve scripted a searchable Let’s Play.

I’ve birthed a mutant metafanfiction.

I actually made it through.

....

It’s been a different experience for me than for anybody else, I think.

Well, of course it has; that’s how Zelda games are, and especially this one. But.... I mean a very different experience. Very far from.... normal.

And I cannot deny that it has affected my playing.

It takes time to write. And being tied to the log.... I couldn’t move as fast as I might have otherwise done in the game.

I remember playing Twilight Princess for the first time, plunging ahead, hurtling forward through the frays, into the woods, into the darkness, breaking out of dungeons, stalking in fearful yearning through lonely shadows, running in desperation and longing for stolen friends, staying up late into the nights, losing sleep and geeking all over my friends the following days, lamenting that I COULD NOT FIND THE CHILDREN.

How invigorating, how all-consuming it was! What a RUSH!

....

But I couldn’t do that with Breath of the Wild. I couldn’t plunge ahead.

Or I didn’t let myself.

I had to move slowly.

Or I chose to.

I chose to put the game away for weeks at a time and force myself to catch up on logging when I really wanted to keep playing.

Wary of spoilers, I chose to shut myself out from certain internet groups. I chose to stop watching certain art circles—oh, that was the hardest. I chose to interact only cautiously with other Zelda fans whilst I floundered behind in the game.

For two years I shied away from the jabbering Zelda community, to keep the discoveries and twists and turns safe for me to discover on my own. And whenever I did find something incredible or unbelievable, all I could do was wonder.... Have people already talked about this? Did they discuss it all in a flurry, months ago? Were there funrowdy times of tightly localized exploration or experimentation, with bursts of forum posts and YouTube videos? ....Or am I the only one in all the world who knows about.... this? And I too isolated to ask aloud.

It felt very.... solitary, a lot of the time. Even when I’d caught up to David, and could finally relieve him from keeping his mouth so faithfully, painfully shut for me. He was heroic, really.

Do I regret any of this?

No. I don’t. I can’t. I chose this.

And besides, the experience was not without its own kind of reward and fulfillment. Chewing and stewing for so long over every point in the game, giving myself time enough for writing, time enough for deepest thought upon every last person and creature and bug that stepped into my path, has granted me a finer and more flavorful vision of the myriad denizens of Hyrule than I could ever have expected. Like Pi drifting slowly over the ocean, seeing and knowing every fish and turtle and whale, instead of only the spray of a rapid wake.

I really did care for Leekah and her poor unlucky happenstance. How could I not, when I barred myself from leaping headlong into so many other multitudes of things to worry about? I really rooted for tender young Kabetta, and seeing his efforts made me both proud and worried. It was heartening and encouraging to see Mils and Mina standing their ground so bravely. Calyban’s turn to generosity truly warmed my heart. Benny’s brave curiosity was endearing and inspiring. I wished Tye and Sorelia all the happiness in the world. I couldn’t bring myself to blame Jerrin.... too much. But I could Zyle; OH who raised that man....? I sometimes felt sorry for murdering hapless red Bokoblins far below my level, while I was under the guise of my Mask. Fronk’s bowed and weeping gratitude made every second of the outlandish pains I took to find and bring back his wife Mei absolutely worth it. Seeing Kass come home to be with his family and make beautiful music with his daughters was so utterly fulfilling, especially to my musician’s heart. And hearing lessons from Sesami’s friend Palme—the man with the unflattering haircut, the poor lost wanderer, the softest and most unable man in a fight—as he delivered the truest, deepest, and most unexpectedly powerful words of wisdom for a meaningful life... is an instance I will treasure.

It’s been a different experience for me, playing this game. Different than it otherwise might have been.

But I don’t regret it.

....

There’s a strange catch there, though. When you think about it, I really can’t regret it. If it was a choice between playing it through for the first time normally, and playing it through for the first time with a journal in tow.... there is no way I would be able to experience both of those. I can play it through for the first time only once.

And so unable to compare the two, how could I know which would have been better or more enjoyable?

I couldn’t.

It’s like that Robert Frost poem about two roads. You are only one traveler; you can’t walk them both.

But I suppose such fractaled pathways are what make life interesting. It’s all right to favor one horizon over another; there are enough to go around.

And from what I have observed, in myself and in others, I think I can rest on that.... as far as The Legend of Zelda ~ Breath of the Wild goes.... I think any pathway would have proven to be good, beautiful, beloved and fulfilling.

But I think I really did take the road less traveled.

I can’t know what it’s like to play Breath of the Wild like I’ve played other Zelda games. And that’s all right. But maybe.... if I’ve wielded my words right.... you reading this can glean some small taste of what it’s like to play the game with Contraltissimo’s very fine-toothed comb. Maybe the experiences are similar after all. I wouldn’t know.

But you might.

Looks like you have the advantage here.

And in truth.... I am glad to offer it, if you’re willing to take it.

After all, it’s dangerous to go alone.

Now, I think I’ll finally have a listen to that Breath of the Wild ~ Sound Selection disc that came with the statue and the Switch case and everything else in that super-mega-deluxe-or-whatever-it-was version of the game I bought.

Hey, music can be spoilerish too! Of course I put it away for later. It was only recently that I actually took off the shrinkrap and loaded the tracks onto my original black iPod Nano, Sylphie. Named for a mermaid.

And now.... I think I’ll finally let myself enjoy it.

As well as the complete soundtrack I bought more recently. Hm, which includes music from the DLC....

Guess I’d better play that, too. I did purchase it, two years ago. I’ve just never booted it up. But in the sparse visits I allowed myself into the Zelda circles of the internet in the meanwhile, I received some very high recommendations for it.

Think I’ll play with my amiibos too at some point. And maybe.... see how the game feels on the Switch.

Man. I’ve put off a lot these past two years.

I just wanted the pure experience first.

Well, I got it.

Boy did I get it.

Turns out anything worth doing.... really is worth overdoing.

That’s why all Heroes are called Fools.

This is Contraltissimo, signing off.

 

The Promise Of Ages

Evening of Wednesday, June 19, 2019 (comprised of many raw note editings from May 1 through May 10, 2023 that I really hope sound consistent because I left it alone for too long) ~ 4

The Promise Of Ages

The Calamity howled his thousand-dragon-howl, bracing his monumental hooves and throwing up his neck, his putrid tongue lolling between his jaws—the Eyeball in the nape roved and twitched—

And a Light—that Light again!

A White Light SHOT UP from deep beneath the muscled crest of the Beast.

It was her....

It was Zelda.

It was Princess Zelda.

She gleamed like a Star in the Heavens, hands clasped before her as if in prayer, eyes serenely closed, golden light gleaming from her person and leaving a spray of diamonds in her wake.

She was free of the Demon’s grasp.

Everything had stopped. Only the holy resounding ringing of her appearance chimed ceaselessly, cyclicly, like a heavenly glass armonica, humming and shimmering to eternity.

The Calamity snorted, the sound shrunken, roomed in without an echo, as his eyes beheld the Princess.

She hovered back down, haloed as if by a holy golden flame, alighting in the grass so softly she did not even bend. Gentle as a flower, soft as a sigh, she opened her eyes, and no fear marred her brow.

The Demon collapsed onto its chest before her, crashing massively at her feet, its all-rending tusks coming close to crushing her on either side—

—and yet never close at all.

Still blazing, still heaving, still rumbling, the wind of its throes sweeping the grass and casting up the Princess’ hair—

And yet all about her person still was only that serenity, and that gentle ringing.... and perhaps.... as her brow betrayed the slightest furrow.... perhaps.... a little sorrow.

Her eyes looked on the Demon then, purposefully.

And that was the only sign to be seen.

The holy light around her pulsed into renewed ringing, the golden flames moving, growing stronger, no longer at rest, the little glimmers breathing about her person now casting forward like embers in a wind.... toward the Demon.... toward the Calamity.

The Beast chuffed, roared, gnawing the air, its jaws working—what it couldn’t grind to a pulp with that defiling tongue, the foul teeth....

Its eyes still gaping....

But for only a moment more.

For in the next breath the Princess’ shining and ringing redoubled, tripled, overflowed beyond themselves all at once into a radiating brilliance. She was become a tremoring golden sun made flesh, as waves of holy light washed outward and over the Demon.

Beaming spears of golden light shining outward in every direction from her person....

And this final insistence could not be denied.

With a last descending groan, the Calamity mourned out its defiance as its body, the horrible, writhing, Malice-bound mountain of itself, began to recede and wither away, evaporating beneath the Princess’ holy light.

An almighty sizzling electrified the landscape as the hot magenta flames were purged from the crumbling form, licking up into the sky, until all the was left.... was that ghostly form I had first seen of it so long ago.

It mounted into the air, coiling from the cloud of its corporeal death and twining like a snake—its terrifying jaws still roaring fit to swallow the world—

It swooped and stooped like an enormous bird of prey, unable yet to take that woman in its jaws—

But Zelda—her eyes still calm, her brow even, her lips not yet even parted—indeed her face as set and still as one holding her breath underwater—Zelda raised her hand with a final renewed gleaming, and—

SHEEEN-RING!

The sound was like the resonance of an everlasting church bell, mighty from a cathedral tower, resounding and warming and booming and golden without fading and without concussive instigation. Just.... ringing.

The Princess conjured an ever expanding sphere of holy golden light against the Demon’s last lunge. Its wickedness could not stand before her Power, falling to dark shreds and nothing before the divine glow, the sacred Triforce ringing at the center.

The sphere continued to grow, as if to cast a shield around all of Hyrule....

But its only aim was the Calamity—the fleeing Calamity Ganon—and it engulfed him, even his ghostly form then deforming, the jaw unhinging one last time as the Light consumed him and he vanished. His terrible, terrible eyes....

Zelda stood, her right hand still raised, the mighty, flaming, burning, golden sphere of her holy Sealing Power still ringing upon the earth.... until with a final rush like a whipping flag, the mighty sphere shrank with a subito sudden silence, and—Vvp!—

—!—

Blinked its bound captive out of existence.... and back into planes of darkness.

The world faded out to white.... for a looong, loong breath.

And then....

DESTROY GANON

COMPLETE

I exhaled, and Mom and I gazed and gasped in wonderment at each other.

“I didn’t think I would do this on a Wednesday!” I growled in happy exasperation.

The world faded back into view—the battlefield faded back into view.

The sky still raged crimson beneath a Blood Moon.

But.... no....

Light was beginning to shine through.

The racing cloud-wrack, so fitfully tormented, began at last to still, its nightmare finally ending....

The Castle pillars in the distance—they were blue now.

The Piano was the first to step back onto the grass. And it tenderly held the hand of the Lullaby, and led it childlike back to she to whom it belonged, where she stood in the grass. Even as the last dusty maroon in the sky was giving way to lavender.... to the shadow of blues waiting to be born....

“I’ve been keeping watch over you all this time...” the Princess halted.

Her back was to me. That beautiful white dress. The very same? The one with a Grecian grace....

The fiery glow left her hair as the sky cooled further still.

“I’ve witnessed your struggles to return to us as well as your trials in battle.”

I stepped toward her. The Bow of Light still slung across my back.

But she still didn’t turn.

Under the foggy blue of the sky, she had returned to her proper honey-blonde now. The trees in the distance beyond her now green again, no longer clawing nightmares....

“I always thought—no, I always believed—that you would find a way to defeat Ganon.”

The sun beamed brighter still. Haloing us both.

“I never lost faith in you over these many years...”

As at last her feet stepped—swiveled—and stood.

She was a lily about to bloom under the radiant sun’s light, shining new on the world.

“Thank you, Link...”

Hands still clasped so elegantly over her heart.

“...the hero of Hyrule.”

And her green eyes shone. No longer burdened, no longer so solemnly set in power so great and terrible.

Just.... smiling.

But the little furrow came back, as her shoulders rose yet.... and a gentle uncertainty tugged at her brow.

“May I ask...” she started breathlessly....

And the Music held its peace.

“Do you really remember me?”

As we stood apart, together, in the sun.

—A timeless piping took my hand, though, singing the Ancient Song, as it drew the curtain on the Orchestra’s soft cadence, and faded the scene to black.... the Piano voicing the final tremulous laughter from my quivering throat.

 

Kass' Promise

Waking of Saturday, February 23, 2019

Kass’ Promise

I warped to Washa’s Bluff and just climbed up to Kass’s house, because I could now, with my enhanced Climber’s Gear and three full wheels of Stamina.

Kass was not there. But I read his journal. I thought I’d gotten all the shrines he mentioned....

He said he would return to his hometown once he’d learned all the ancient songs.... So I warped to Rito Village. But again, Kass was nowhere to be found. I did meet with Molli, and she told me one of her stories. And I saw Cree, Kotts, Notts, Kheel and Genli running around. They were going to sing on the landing by the shrine. They’re so cute.... But there was no sign of Kass.

So I sailed down to the stable.

Kass was there.

He asked and I allowed him to sing his song for me. Same as it ever was.

....I was missing something. And I thought I had a pretty good idea what it was....

I warped back to Kass’s house again, sailing in this time via Satori Mountain just for the thrill of it.

Combing through his diary again, I saw that I had gotten all of his shrines.... but not the treasure in Kitano Bay.

I had.... seen David get that one. On another occasion.

I guessed not all of Kass’s sidequests were shrines after all.

So I warped to the Hateno Ancient Tech Lab, visited with Purah.... and then paraglided down off the mountain, right down to the pillar in the sea where Kass stood playing his accordion.

I had Kass again sing the song of that region, and though the telltale shadow in the song did in fact point toward Eventide Island.... the solution was much closer than all that.

After the song, I sailed down to a spot along the more closely encompassing stones jutting from the surf, until I was in just the right position to spot something with my Sheikah Slate’s Magnesis.

It was a chest in the water, with 300 rupees inside. The Hero’s Cache.

I collected it.... and then blinked.

For all I knew.... I could have left this here for myself. o_o

I climbed back up the rockspire to report to Kass again and, the songquest now complete, I took my leave, on foot. Er, by swimming, then on foot.

I just jogged all the way back to Hateno. I don’t know, I just.... didn’t want to appear hasty.

I have a house in Hateno. But is it my home? Hmm.

Safely out of view, I warped to one of the shrines outside Totori Lake and Rito Village.

Baddies, yup.

I ran.

More baddies.

Land Octoroks, what a hassle....

Tabantha certainly was a very hairy environment.... But I made it to Rito Stable without taking a hit.

Kass was not around the stable any more.

He must be in the village, I thought.

It was early in the morning. I walked the bridges and entered the village and started up the spiral boardwalk.... and I saw Kass near the shrine! And I realized as I approached him that.... he was playing the Rito Village Dragonroost music on his accordion! 8D

Oh it sounded nice. ^_^

And Cree, Kotts, Notts, Kheel and Genli, the little singers, came running up in a happy little gaggle, Blue, Yellow, Red, Purple and Green (though they lined up Purple, Blue, Green, Yellow and Red, as they faced the master musician, as he saw them), AND THEY ALL STARTED SINGING TOGETHER WHILE KASS PLAYED, OH MY GOSH IT WAS SO CUTE.

I spoke to Kass then. I’d just been listening but now I wanted in.

“Oh! I’m just taking some time from my calling in order to enjoy some musical frivolity with my daughters,” he said, or some such words.

These are your daughters!

^_^

But, says he, he has a favor he wants to ask of me. Only he wants me to come back here after dark to talk about it.

I meandered around the village in the meantime. Amali was Kass’s wife. A pretty, green Rito. She was happy that I’d brought her husband back to her. How does she know it was me?

I looked at the children’s colors again, out on the landing. So their first child was blue, like Kass. But it wasn’t until their fifth that they got one looking like their Mom.

I did not really pass the time anywhere. I eventually just went back to the shrine landing, and listened to them sing and play for the rest of the day.

I love Rito Village.

When 9:00 struck, the girls all turned and ran excitedly back to their house.

Leaving me alone to speak with Kass.

When I approached him, he stilled his playing, and the night was quiet. Only crickets and nightbirds sounded in the chill pine air.

He said he had a song he needed me to hear. He said he wanted to tell me about his teacher. But that it would take a while.

I told him to go ahead.

He said his teacher was a Sheikah, and that he had been the court poet of the Hyrulean Royal Family before the Calamity. At that time, there was a beautiful princess in the royal family, and they were even around the same age, the teacher and the princess.

And even though he must have known it would be doomed to be unrequited, his teacher grew to be deeply, deeply in love with the princess.

But the princess only had eyes for her escort. The appointed knight who accompanied her. Her own knight attendant.

!

.... Did.... Did she now?

Kass’ teacher became quite jealous. He came to hate the princess’ knight. It stung him that the knight was neither nobility nor royalty....

But then the Calamity struck.

“...My teacher believed a hero would appear to beat back the Calamity. He poured that belief into a song. And that song is what I need you to hear,” said Kass.

And he raised his accordion again:

An ancient hero, a Calamity appears,

Now resurrected after 10,000 years.

Her appointed knight gives his life,

Shields her figure, and pays the price.

The princess’s love for her fallen knight awakens her power

And within the castle the Calamity is forced to cower.

But the knight survives!

In the Shrine of Resurrection he sleeps,

Until from his healing dream he leaps!

For fierce and deadly trials await.

To regain his strength. Fulfill his fate.

To become a hero once again!

To wrest the princess from evil’s den.

The hero, the princess—hand in hand—

Must bring the light back to this land.

The song ended and the night was quiet again. Kass spoke, “My teacher fled the Calamity and returned to his hometown of Kakariko Village. But on his way, he witnessed the knight sacrifice his life to protect the princess.”

I’d heard people talk about me before, talk about my past life before.... But this one hit so.... heavy.

What had happened to me?

“The elder of Kakariko Village, Impa, explained these circumstances to him, and his mind was made up. He would seek the songs of the hero who sealed the Calamity away in an age past... so they could be passed on to the knight once he returned. All so that the princess might be saved...”

Kass’ beautiful bird eyes were so low, somewhere far away. “Those were my teacher’s last words, passed on now through me,” he said.

Then he turned to face me.

“So... appointed knight. Will you accept this song from my departed teacher?”

I stood. “You know,” I said. And then.... “Yes.” My only option.

“Thank you so much!” Kass’ eyes cheered slightly in the dimness. “I knew you would. I was sure of it.”

Through a soft smile he reminisced further, “My teacher would often speak of the princess’s beauty. I would love to meet her and craft a song worthy of her...”

And with a final warm nod, he told me, “Thank you for spending this time with me.”

And the moment broke and slipped away like a cut ribbon.

....

“You knew.”

How did he know?

But somehow.... it didn’t surprise me. That it would be a musician. Someone who feels the pull of so many more strings through the world. Someone attuned to see the wondrous, unrevealed. And moreover he was well traveled. He’d seen me around....

And for whatever other poems came out lumpy or lopsided from the localization team.... this one was splendid. And I appreciated that.