BIG BOYS

Waking of Friday, December 7, 2018

BIG BOYS

In studying the network of bright blue shrine markers on my map, I could still see a few empty spaces between them, too-broad empty spaces with conspicuous geography that looked.... likely....

I warped to the Qukah Nata Shrine high above Faron’s waterfalls, and wandered into the wetlands—the Rabella Wetlands these were called. I could see a spot on my map that looked like somewhere I’d seen David visit before....

And I found it. In the middle of a leafy, dappled plateau, an enormous ribcage jutted into the air, points to the sky. And in the middle of that ribcage, snoring grotesquely away.... a big Black Hinox. I remembered seeing David throwing Bombs at this one from one of the ribs....

The Hinox was surrounded by lesser meanies, just Bokoblins, and these I drew away one by one with my Mask, dispatching them each privily in a manner that did not make me feel proud.

But when it was just me and the big guy, I was able to get closer, and I saw that it had.... an orb?

On went my Barbarian Armor and I killed it then and there! With Urbosa’s help. I was just briefly bewildered during the short time its life-meter was visible. For this one wasn’t just a “Hinox”, but it bore the secondary title of “Eldest Kin”.

Oh yeah, I remembered, It had said that when David was fighting it.

What was this some kinda Super-Hinox?

Well if it had been before, it wasn’t now.

I looted the spoils. Now where the heck did this orb go....?

I looked around, and.... there! There seemed to be some ruins of a sort just a bowshot away. I hefted the orb over the grass and drew nearer to the ruins and—

What the—? Three pedestals??

I set the orb in the pedestal nearest to where I had come from, and approached a small stone marker. The inscription on it said something about orbs guarded by three giants....

And the shrine quest banner flashed across my screen: The Three Giant Brothers.

Heh, it sounded like a kind of fairy tale. ^_^

Well then! Two to go, I supposed! :D

So I had killed the Eldest Kin in the Rabella Wetlands. I spread out and searched now in the directions indicated by the remaining two pedestals....

In a place called Uten Marsh, as the sun was going down, I found the Youngest Kin, a Red Hinox. He was just a little bit down the grassy hill, and so was very easy to get to with my paraglider. So easy, in fact, that I took my flight just a little bit farther than I’d ever gone, and landed right on his big sleeping chest!

He didn’t wake, but only continued to snore.

Link meanwhile adopted the broad-stanced, bent-kneed posture he took on whenever danger was near, and glared with ready eyes down at the beast. But at every heaving breath from the monster beneath his feet, his arms would windmill just slightly, and he would have to twine his torso aright with a little jerk to keep from losing his balance.

“David, look at this!” I choked in a whisper.

“Oh my gosh, what are you doing?” He didn’t sound shocked or impressed, just.... resigned. :|

I stole the orb right off the Hinox’s necklace, turned, and stepped off the side of his big red belly....

I hit the grass with the expected clomp of my boots and little gasp from my lips after the drop.... but the Hinox didn’t wake up.

The orb was still in my hands, still held high over my head. I’d been afraid I would lose my grip on it in the little freefall and it would clonk loudly against the ground, or strike the Hinox. But nothing had happened.

And so I started walking softly away through the darkness, back toward the hill.

Well this was going to be cake! I thought. ^_^ I could just walk off with it!

But I stopped when the ground began to incline, and remembered.

I still needed Hinox guts.

I set the orb down in a place where it wouldn’t roll, and.... I actually felt a little bit sad, when I went back, and just.... killed the thing.

Red ones don’t especially drop a lot of good stuff anyway, but it never hurts to check.

And when I came to Hanu Pond and found the Middle Kin Blue Hinox.... I wasted no time there either, but killed him right away too.

And when I went back to the ruin and placed the last orb in the last pedestal, the Tawa Jinn Shrine appeared. It was a Blessing.

That was 105 shrines for me. David was still at 109? Maybe....?

I continued to wander all over the wetlands. I thought about going up to that one high plateau to kill the Lynel, but.... eh, I held off.

Wandered.... wandered.... I meandered looking for Koroks and new things to explore until I came back to whatever peak that was—the Peak of Awakening? Mount Floria? It was Mount Floria. The Peak of Awakening was above the Lanayru Road.

Mount Floria was the name of the mount between the provinces. The one above Misko’s Treasure Cache, and the Twin Bridges. The peak from which you could see both the Valley of Terror spread before the Dueling Peaks Stable, and the jungled plateaus of the Faron Province.

It was the crest from which I had first seen that Lynel-haunted plateau. The Lynel had been Blue that first time—the kind I’d always wanted to fight, but had never gotten the chance to.

Tougher Lynels kept showing up all the time.

I had a look at the Lynel down there now. Looked like another White-Maned one. I scoped in for a better view, not knowing what in the world possessed me to use my Pictobox zoom instead of the regular scope....

And as the reticle passed over the Lynel, the targeting box briefly flashed, but it was.... orange? What in the heck—The box only ever turned orange if the subject hadn’t yet been logged in the Compendium. I thought I’d already pictographed a White Lynel....

I steadied the Pictobox, and looked again. Lined up the reticle.

And the Sheikah Slate identified it as....

A SILVER LYNEL?

THE HECK.

....

.__.

....

WELL.

I’D JUST HAVE TO FLY DOWN THERE AND GET IT THEN.

I donned my Lynel Mask, and laughed as Link puffed out his chest and cast back his arms in muscular majesty. Forgot about that one. XD

I paraglided in, and could see the subtle differences now. It was still striped like a monstrous Zebra, but it was not so much black-and-white as purple-and-white. Like the other silver creatures, Moblins and Bokoblins and Lizalfos, pale with purple markings.

The thing had 5000 HIT POINTS.

DANG.

....

SO I GOT TO IT UNTIL IT WAS DEAD.

....

Hey I needed the Lynel bits.

After that I kept wandering, just finding a whole lotta Koroks. And finally a claw from the dragon Farosh as well.

More wandering, more wandering, more wandering in the Wetlands.... That would make a good title. Wandering in the Wetlands. Or Wetland Wanderings....

Just a few more Koroks, just a few more Koroks.... I was up to seventeen; if I could just get to twenty, Hestu could fill my last shield slot, and then.... I could find out what would happen next. Just a few more.... Huh, I wonder what color the southern Corridor Lynel is....

I warped to Ishto Soh to check.

It was Silver.

Just my luck.

I didn’t bother with it.

Any more Koroks....?

Hhhhhh.

Running out of juice, I warped to Tera and upgraded a few clothes. Soldier’s Armor all up to level three.... Barbarian Leg Wraps up from level one to level two.... which meant there might be a perk....

And there was! My charge-attack stamina was.... up? Or something? Did that mean.... I could charge up a spin-attack without wearing out so fast? Like how in the Zora Suit I could swim harder and faster without wearing out?

I dunno I’m tired.

PEPP’S AND BED.

GOOD NIGHT.

Lanayru Road

Waking of Friday, September 21, 2018 ~ 3

Lanayru Road

When Tera had upgraded my new Barbarian Armor as much as she could, I puttered around the rest of my wardrobe like I do.... Naydra horn, huh....

I still didn’t sort my closet, but left it bungled as ever, and after that....

Kakariko. It was time to venture beyond Cotera’s Woods once again. It was time to explore that inland lake. I had a sneaking suspicion I could find the scale I was looking for there.

I hurried through Cotera’s placid stand of trees, veering only to pick a few of the finer plants and scattering the wildlife before me. In the bare, cliff-flanked road beyond I didn’t bother with the Traveler who’d told me strange stories before, nor did I take the way to Rabia Plain (save for just a little to snatch a Korok I’d somehow missed).

No, this time it was the straight fork, the rightward avenue that dipped lower, and wider, as the land sank into water and stone....

This was the Lanayru Road, West Gate.

And there was indeed a high span of weathered stone bridging the way up ahead.

It looked very much like a gate in one of the pictographs in Princess Zelda’s album. But not quite. But if there was a west gate.... then there must surely have been an east gate....

I went in. There was a memory ahead of me. I knew it. Somehow I’d known it and marked it on my map.... maybe a clue from Pikango or something.... He was always painting landscapes....

The stony corridor widened; the road clave to the north face while the water started by the south; the tumbles of rock meshed through the ancient stonework so that I could hardly tell between what had been, and what was left.

I walked on. Encountered some sleeping Bokoblins. Dispatched them under the quiet of my Stealth Suit; best not to raise a ruckus. Though sometimes it couldn’t be helped to beat them down or knock them over the burm and into the water—for the paving stones rested high on pillars and supports now. Going into the drink to retrieve monster bits would be complicated from here on out....

So much stonework rose all around me, FAR too pocked and hollowed and intricate, in layers upon layers above—to explore it all would take days.... though I tried to search a little. Some minerals here, a Korok there.

But when the day turned grey and it started to rain, I switched my Climber’s Bandana for the more covering Hylian Hood, and only continued walking.

Just walking.

I loved this feeling.

Broken pillars and carven arches with incidental alcoves, all cracked and weathered, all tumbling into ruin, splitting and parting in further holes and crevices, blossoming and burgeoning with surfaces never meant to be walked upon, and yet all the more welcoming for the shelter they provided for creatures like myself to hide in.

I climbed up a bit on the north side, vaulting the slippery stones in quick, powerful bursts for the downpour, and found a little hollow that was just receded enough to be out of the rain. The blocks were straight and cubic against the dark and leaning overhang of foundation or cliffside I did not know, where the sprawling moss joyed in the moisture as it dripped down and slicked over the stone.

It was four o’clock in the afternoon.

Wouldn’t it be great, I thought, to just light a fire and rest here for a while?

Dang I love this game.

Shortly the rain let up and I climbed further and higher until I reached the topmost northern hills where I was distracted enough to kill a Hinox. As I ran back toward where I had been, I inadvertently chased a goat before me, and—I thought I saw something—

I turned and was surprised to see that the goat’s tromping had cut a trail through the grass! And I found the thing I had seen.... it was.... Hylian Rice?

But.... I thought.... I’d thought that was a crop! That it didn’t grow in the wild—I’d only ever seen it from merchants, but—If the goat had cut down the grass—and I didn’t see how else it could have gotten here—what—was all grass like this? If I cut it would.... Would it yield certain grains?

A more placid world began to swell all around me....

I was still discovering new things. Even this far in.

Dang I love this game.

I made my way back down into the canyon to continue along the Lanayru Road, and I began to see great carvings in the walls. What.... were these.... effigies.... These....

They were cracked and worn and broken but.... these were loftwings. I was sure of it. Shoebill beaks and everything. I was sure.

Because I was recognizing shoebills before Skyward Sword was even a twinkle in its daddy’s eye.

Those were loftwings.

How old was this place?

The canyon widened and the southern cliffs and carvings bent away toward that waterfall beneath which I’d found a shrine before, and this open central watered court.... was the Lanayru Promenade.

What a beautiful sight it must have been once. The path ran down close to the water here (part of it submerged now), and a dead fountain stood in the center of the widest part of the lake. I could imagine it playing merrily as beautiful Hylian holy men and women must have strode about....

Now the only thing stirring were some Lizalfos circling around the fountain.

I drew the green one away first to dispatch it privily. But when I went back for the other three....

They were all silver.

Huh, I thought in my mask as I gathered their attentions to get them onto solid ground (they were hard to kill in the water), three Silver Lizalfos.... at once....

This would be interesting....

And it was.

I called upon Urbosa first as they all gathered close about me, and her furious lightning rained down and kept two of them screeching in frozen electrocution while I grabbed the other and started pummeling his lights out. But presently the other two recovered and they were mad—I pounded one of them into next Tuesday in time to turn and trade blows with the other up against the wall—and then that first one was upon me again—but I moved before they could surround me and slashed that one in the tail while the second one was climbing back out of the water—and then there they stood regrouped and ready but I was fast—I could take these guys....

I have since learned to try and kill silver monsters as far away from water as I can. Tails and talons and horns and eyeballs will float. But rubies and sapphires and diamonds? You can kiss those goodbye if they fall into the water. And nothing your Slate can supply will help to call them back.

They’re gone, man. Gone.

When I had quite eradicated every monster from the Lanayru Promenade, I took my time giving the area as thorough an exploration as I could, turning up treasure chests behind tumbles of stone or sunk beneath the waters around the fountain. I also took another short break away, this time up on the southern hilltops, cresting the tall mountain, the Peak of Awakening, which lay just east of the high pond that fed the waterfall. As I’d suspected.... there was a Korok.

Back down on the Lanayru Road I kept heading east.... The path was rising, and I was beginning to leave the water behind, when something possessed me to take out my Pictobox. I’d seen something further ahead, and wanted to zoom in to see what it was. I knew if my Compendium recognized it, it would flash the name of the thing across the screen.

And as I swiveled the lens around carelessly toward the east, Mount Lanayru towering in shrouding clouds in the far distance, I saw, for just an instant, the name of NAYDRA.

And then it was gone and I could not relocate it.

WHAAAAAT?

Naydra? The Dragon?? What? But!

Had it flown across somewhere? Was it even now in the air, somewhere around the bends of the cliffs further to the east? I longed to plunge ahead, but....! Did I just catch the tip of its tail as it vanished out of sight? For I could see nothing of any dragon now!

Naydra??

Where was it??

But point and swivel as I might, my Pictobox could not detect the dragon again.

But it was near.... somewhere very near....

The road continued to rise as I left the great monumental stoneworks behind me.

And then I had come to.... the Lanayru Road, East Gate.

Mount Lanayru stood in might and majesty beyond the weathered stone portal.

I stood in the light, and remembered....

It was sunset.

The Champions were waiting on the water side of the gate—where I had just been. I and Zelda were coming back from the mountain.

“Don’t keep us in suspense,” said Daruk, “How’d it go up there on the mountain?”

Zelda.... shook her head.

“You didn’t feel anything? No power at all?” said the bird man Revali.

“I’m sorry, no.” Zelda didn’t look at any of them. Just the ground.

Urbosa stepped in. “Then let’s move on,” she said, her voice strong and steady as always, “Feeling sorry for yourself won’t help anything.” She offered a seemingly tireless encouragement to keep looking for.... that thing, that.... something.... “Anything could trigger the power to seal Ganon.”

“If I may...” It was Mipha. She spoke! And she.... fumbled a bit, her voice dainty as a fluttering leaf, wanting to say something, but she was embarrassed to say it. “I was just thinking about what I do when I’m healing. Sometimes it helps if I think... if I think about—”

RRRRRRRUMBLE!

A roaring cacophany tore the air and rattled the earth.

Everyone stumbled and shook as the ground heaved beneath them, until Revali regained himself and SHOT into the sky.

A hundred feet up he maintained a steady flapping as he looked into the glowing, flaming western sky and the sinking sun.

Ganon was erupting out of the castle.

“He’s here,” said Urbosa as Revali touched down again. The earth had stopped shaking, though the roaring remained.

“It’s awake,” said Zelda.

“Are you sure?” said.... probably Mipha?

“Positive,” said Revali.

Daruk rallied everyone, “Champions! To your Divine Beasts! Link, you get to Hyrule Castle—” He barked their long-laid plans. It needed to be a unified assault. “Link will need to meet Ganon head-on when we unleash our attack.”

Revali scoffed quietly at this last and looked away. Even now.

What did he have against me?

“Come, let’s go,” Urbosa addressed Princess Zelda, “We need to get you somewhere safe.”

But—“No,”—Zelda pulled away. “I may not be of much use on the battlefield, but there must be something I can do—”

She wanted to help.

She wanted to be useful....

OHHHH MUUHHHH GUUUSHHHH....

The Basement

Waking of Thursday, May 31, 2018

The Basement

NOT—THREE—MONTHS.

I REFUSE.

I AM GOING TO PLAY BEFORE MAY BECOMES JUNE, WHICH IS SOON stop rhyming....

I was in the Great Deku Tree’s Navel.

I talked to Pepp, and as it was evening and he insisted so sweetly, I slept in his bed until morning, whereupon I spoke to some of the other Koroks, just to refamiliarize myself a bit. One of them told me a little about the place—“We’re actually inside the Great Deku Tree’s stomach. Try not to think about it too hard.”

Mm. Good advice.

David has been very far ahead of me in the game for quite some time, but.... I wanted to do something that he had never done, and I wanted him to see it.

But he wasn’t around.

So....

I decided to hunt Guardians in the meanwhile. I needed to save up on Ancient Gears so I could get the Ancient Cuirass from Cherry.

And there were a few Guardians I knew how to handle easily enough....

My first stop was Lomei Labyrinth Island. I still had a couple of Ancient Arrows on me, and I knew just where to put ‘em....

The crawler in the central court was easy enough, and then I tracked down the decayed one in the maze. Blew him up too—and found some pretty neat stuff down the corridors formerly under his lasers!

Actually.... as I approached the one long dead end.... it made me kind of sad. Sword and shield and bundles of arrows, and the Thunderstorm Rod....

Somehow all I could imagine, seeing that scattering of weapons on the floor at the dark end of the tunnel, was how they must have gotten there. And in my mind I saw some poor brave warrior meet his final end....

I did not bother with the Flyers, but after cleaning up the two Guardians (well, one and a half) on the main floor, I warped back to the shrine, and considered the column of air blowing up from a deep, deep shaft before the shrine.

I’d found this place before David, but I had just assumed that the air current came from some door down in the central court. Like an elevator. Guarded by that Guardian.

But when I watched David do the labyrinth, he had decided to explore that shaft for himself.

The bottom of it did not come out into the central court.

It turned out that Lomei Labyrinth Island.... had a basement.

And that basement was full of Decayed Guardians.

Admittedly most of them were truly dead, but that did nothing to lessen the terror of seeing them all like so many spiders in the bottom of a forgotten barrel. Some of them were even Stalkers—they were of the variety that could move, like the one in the central court.

I knew all of this as I climbed down the shaft for myself, dropping short distances and grabbing on again to conserve my stamina. And when I neared the bottom, I dropped out and angled myself just enough to clear the air-column, and then floated with my paraglider directly downard to the floor where I landed in a crouch and did not move.

I considered my surroundings. My pictobox came in quite useful, as I could use it to spot which Guardians were alive. Marking their locations carefully, I gave these all a very wide berth as I combed the gigantic underground room to get at the dead ones.

Wasn’t able to salvage any gears, though.

But when I had satisfied myself with scavenging.... or when I just plum couldn’t take it anymore—I turned my attentions to the last thing I knew I’d be able to touch in peace down here. That’s how it had been for David.

In the center of the chamber was a small rectangular dais, set with torches. And between those torches sat an unassuming treasure chest.

I did just as David had done, dipped into a cautious crouch, and moved slowly—so, so slowly—toward it.

And just as David had done, I made myself stand up for a frightening few heartbeats so that I could get onto the dais.

And crouching once again, I approached the chest....

And opening it I obtained.... a Diamond Circlet, with protective properties against Ancient weaponry!

And.... just as had happened with David.... once that chest was open and the dialogue box showing me my prize had closed....

LASERS.

Four of them. From all sides.

It was here that I had planned to deviate from the course that David had followed; I had no intention of making it back to the entry point and riding the shaft of air back up to the top—I just wanted to warp back out to the shrine!

But.... for some reason, I didn’t.

Some distant memory stirred.... And I had a Guardian Shield on me. Couldn’t those deflect....?

For some reason, right then, I just wanted to see.... if I could manage....

I didn’t. Four laser bolts came in at once and flash-fried me where I stood—but for some reason when I stopped tumbling I noticed I had only lost five hearts. Maybe one of the bolts had blown me clear of the rest....? Or it could have been Daruk....

I didn’t spend too much time thinking about it; I retreated to my Sheikah Slate and told it to warp me the heck outta there. And it did. Usually I’m standing when I do this. It was a little dramatically striking to see Link instead crouching in a protective huddle, with his arms raised over his head, as he coalesced into blue light and teleported away....

When I was safe again I checked my inventory. Yes, the Guardian Shield could defelct Guardian blasts. From Guardian Scouts.

Oh dear. Did Guardian Stalkers and Guardian Scouts have similar weaponry? The Stalkers were everywhere on the map, but the Scouts could only be found within Combat Shrines.

But.... I wanted to test it....

Where in the world was this Courage coming from?

Goodbye, Memories

Waking of Sunday, November 26, 2017 ~ 5

Goodbye, Memories

I WISHED ALL THESE MYSTICAL ENTITIES WOULD STOP CURSING MY ELECTRONICS.

I turned the TV back on.

But Embry the stablehand didn’t have anything else to say anyway.

Well shoot.

Well....

On to the Wetland Stable, then. That was where I’d first heard tell of this beast between my legs. Quince. That was the man’s name.

I would have to go see Quince....

We plunged on ahead through the night, the Lord of the Mountain and I. I had not dared spur him above a normal gallop, but I did then, to dodge past a whirling Keese flock. And he hearted at me after I soothed him then.

We weren’t stopping for anything.

I hoped the rain would let up....

We made it to the Riverside Stable, but I couldn’t stop there, and still we pressed on toward the Wetland Stable. And Quince....

I spurred him again and was shocked and flummoxed to notice that HIS SPEED CAME BACK IMMEDIATELY.

I KNEW HE WAS POWERFUL FOR THE FIVE WHIPCRACKS HE DISPLAYED BUT I COULDN’T PRESS THEM FAST ENOUGH BEFORE THE FIRST ONE JUST REPLENISHED ITSELF.

I SOOTHED HIM AND HE LOVED ME AGAIN.

WHAT EVEN WAS THIS BLUE SHADOWFAX CREATURE THAT COULD SPRINT FOREVER?

We passed Doctor Spoone between Horwell and Eagus Bridges. Interestingly enough he had nothing to say of my four-eyed alien mount, but he did educate me that Naydra’s scale could cure any illness—the only problem was that Lanayru Mountain, where Naydra dwelt, was just so cold....

Well, thanks, Doc! I had to be on my way.

We passed more people—Tye and Sorelia’s camp was blessedly at peace—

And THERE WAS THE WETLAND STABLE.

However Lawdon, the resident stablehand, gave me much the same reaction as Embry had.

Hmph. ò.O

Where was Quince?

Probably sleeping. It was about 3:00 am when I got there.

I waited for him to wake up.

And looked at my clock....

And watched the time tick slowly by....

And swiveled the camera....

And studied the Lord of the Mountain....

And looked at the stable and all its satellite structures....

And glanced at the sky....

And peered about the landscape....

And peeked inside the stable from the Lord of the Mountain’s back and could see the slumbering masses on the beds in there I NEEDED TO TALK TO QUINCE—WAKE UP ALREADY, QUINCE!

I trotted around, admiring how the sun-colored hooves lit up the grass.

And what was that tinkling sound like tiny metal chimes?

Hanging on by only a hank of ethereal, light blue hair along the spine.

So precarious.

And the sun had risen, and people were moving.

Which one was Quince?

He would pair up with the dog, and they would stand near the woods to gaze at Satori Mountain....

And they DID—I moved in. Got close enough....!

TARGET.

A.

“I wonder what’ll happen today...” Quince said.

WAT—okay despite my immensely deep appreciation at seeing that sentence written with the proper punctuation—no no no no Quince, can’t you see I’m riding your great Blue Beast? Ah, perhaps it’s because he’s on the move, I thought.

And I waited for him to come to a standstill.

And when I spoke to him again....

“What the—seriously? Another guy?” he said. And he went on to lament that there were no girls around here. Just guys. “And when we finally were visited by a Zora, turned out it was just some manly prince guy who’s a dude,” he finished.

I.... admitted a snicker at the funny old line but QUINCE DON’T GIMME THAT I CAUGHT YOUR FRIGGIN’ BEAST WHY WON’T THE STABLES LET ME—

HHHHUUHHHHHHHH.

Wait.

Maybe if I let him tell me about his dog. Like he did before.

And I prompted him to speak at length about how he had gone to the mountain to hunt, and how he’d met Satty (Ah, yes, Satty, not Natty; and Satty was a boy....), and how Satty had protected him from the Blue Beast, and how they’d made their getaway—

“Someday I’d like to go back there and give that glowing beast a piece of my mind!” he asserted. Or something like it.

He said this to me as I sat on the back of said glowing beast.

Uh. -_-

Well, there was nothing for it then but to zip over to the Home menu and upload the ridiculous screenshot to Miiverse.

And I was saddened to discover that Miiverse . . . . had gone.

All the pictures I’d taken.

Well honestly I hadn’t taken very many. Less than twenty I’d say.

But....

They were memories.

I berated myself for not having downloaded them when I had the chance.

For I’d even thought about including them in this log.

Perhaps not those few from Twilight Princess HD –

– That first magnetic wall-walk. “I’d forgotten just how much fun this game is!” Or some such words.

– The somber, masked trio of ghostly Zora, sick with worry as they searched for their prince. “They care so much for their prince. ;.;” Or some such words. And emoticons.

– The most beautiful picture of all of Kakariko, taken from that high bend in the road where you could see the whole village.... I don’t remember what I may have said about it.

But from Breath of the Wild –

– In the dread, dark rain, on Fort Hateno’s high turrets, overlooking the Valley of Terror—and swearing the lightning was flashing me back, those great lumps still crawling, still glowing, as the water slicked over cloak and skin. Hand to my face and sigh at the thought.

– The IKEA houses of Hateno Village that perked me up that weary, weary night.

– Capturing the lightning strike as I weathered the storm beneath the shelter of that first wetland shrine.

– The beautiful dawn above the empty reaches of Zorana, as the music slithered out of the bare rock to run a chill up my spine.

– Sunset warming the red rocks and lying bright on the pond as I left the Shrine of Mirro Shaz triumphant.

– A rainbow away over green hills and against a brooding sky.

– A drippy sky afire from the top of the Woodland Tower.

– The ledge at the end of the world lit by a Thunderblade.

And others I am sure.

Just.... memories.

They were nothing really earth-shattering I suppose. Just sights. Gorgeous vistas that caught my fancy. It’s too bad I won’t be able to look at them again. They were pretty.

I came back to the game, and realized I did at least still have a pictobox on me.

Well that was something.

....

One for the album, then: I was going to take a self-portrait with the beast.

I.... dismounted.

The Lord of the Mountain.... stayed where he was.

Hooooo. ‘Kay. o__o;

That was good.

And I took out my pictobox and put it up to my face.

But I had left it too zoomed in—a blur of distant greenery, leaves and grass.... I’d need to pull back, turn a bit, zoom out to find the blue beast—

Only as soon as my eyes were off it, the instant it had escaped the frame.... there was a snort, and a whirlwind of hooves.... and then....

The Lord of the Mountain was gone.

Well that just iced my 糟糕。

Guess it was like a leprechaun—you look away and they vanish.

.... I woulda called him Lucky.

I putter-putter-puttered in the dismal loss of Miiverse and the loosing of my fine wild Janus Owl Moth Horse.

How could I waste more time.... -_-

No, but I needed to be responsible. I had a full week ahead of me after all.

But I didn’t want to end on such an abysmal note....

....

I knew—I would just try to find that silver Bokoblin again.

I’d seen him on my mad dash over here, between the Outskirt and Riverside Stables, at a T-junction in the plain.

But rare sight though he was, I hadn’t been stopping for anything, remember?

Not even a Silver Bokoblin.

But I went to find him now.

It wasn’t far; I got there quickly even on foot, and found him capering happily before his campfire, quite alone.

I remembered: on my last pass through here the blue beast and I had mowed down his sole red companion.

Guess he wasn’t all that broken up about it.

Concealed by distance and long grass, I tried the beehive first. One arrow brought it down, and sent the swarm buzzing after the silver Bokoblin in an angry cloud.

He outran them, though.

Next I put on my Bokoblin Mask to approach, and he started at my presence before coming over and proceeding to strike up what seemed to be an engaging conversation with me.

I couldn’t tell; I don’t speak Bokoblin.

He wouldn’t stay put when I tried to take a pictograph—they do that, the baddies, when they see you disguised as one of their own. They like to come in real close and just.... look at you.  O_O  And maybe chat a bit.

The fidgets notwithstanding I was able to get a couple of decent pictographs, and my Compendium outlined what this particular breed might drop upon dispatch—

Ore.

Lots of it, and in the rarest varieties.

....

As I could think of no further way to sport with the creature, I laid him out flat with my Flameblade. Just a regular Flameblade, and it took a lot of damage before I was through—the silver Bokoblin had something like seven hundred and fifty hit points. That was more than many Moblins I’d slain.

But I was not disappointed with the spoils: rubies, topaz, sapphires—I think there may even have been a diamond in there.

And with the camp cleared, the treasure chest on top of the tower unlocked with the familiar boxing-match bell—it always makes David and I laugh—

I couldn’t claim the sword within, however; my inventory was full.

.... Hhhhh ....

It was.... a nice little camp. Not too big. And the field was green and lovely....

But.... it was getting late. In the game and on the couch.

Sometimes the days just blow out with a murmur, and you still feel lost and unfulfilled.

I sat by the fire until morning, saved, and quit, and got ready for the week.

More Bad Things

Waking of Thursday, May 11, 2017

More Bad Things

Visible from the Wetland Stable, just across the river and toward the castle, there was a small, jutting plateau, something left over from erosion, looked like, in the otherwise wide, rolling plain.

From the stable grounds, I could see a distant fire, and smoke, rising from a spot on top of that plateau. And I wanted to find out why it was there....

Perhaps I was becoming more the Hero, more the Fool.

It wasn’t far; and I’d been on the bridge that led to it before—I’d saved Leekah from a bokoblin on that bridge.

Of course, I’d saved Leekah from bokoblins in most places....

A short jog across the bridge, a dash through the rolling grass, a little skip around a gang of stalbokoblins, and I was climbing the stony wall of the plateau, which was only a little unnerving due to the fact that one of the stalbokoblins seemed to be packing a bow—but he was a lousy shot, thank goodness.

On top of the plateau was a small lean-to beside a jutting hillock of stone that was half again as tall as I was. A woman rested there, beside a campfire and an unlit wok. She seemed well at ease considering her location; an apple and a bunch of some kind of grainstalks lay ready beside a log bench.

Her name was Benny, and she remarked to me that she and I were two of a kind, brave adventurers, and that there probably weren’t many like us roaming about—few people ever ventured out to where she was.

She invited me to climb the little hillock and have a look about—I might see some interesting things. So I did. And I saw the fields and trees all around, the distant mountains, maybe the eerie glow from Satori Mountain, perhaps a few unvisited shrines.... But I suppose the most interesting thing that I saw was just the pack of three stalbokoblins still doggedly throwing rocks in my general direction, their mean little red eyes aglow.

I was stalling, I knew that. David knew that.

I had a scary tower to get to.

When I’d taken in my fill of the surrounding views, I warped to the shrine of Kaam Ya’Tak. From there I approached a little hill that was near the Sheikah Tower, and before I ascended it—I caught sight of a loose six-legged Guardian free about the roads around its right side.

And with many vocalizations that I really can’t remember, I dashed behind the cover of the stone and up to the crest of the hill in a right frenzy.

I—don’t—like—Guardians.

At the top of the hill was a little statue, to which I offered an apple, and thus brought a Korok out of hiding. Its cute little twee-hee giggle was small comfort before the task I was about to perform.

I peered down at the Sheikah Tower through my scope. It seemed to be surrounded by a smattering of old ruins and scattered detritus—and then I caught the faintest glow of blue....

“UHHHH—”

“What!” David asked.

“It’s alive! That Guardian down there is alive!”

For there was a rusted old one crumbled into the earth near the tower—but its eye was still lit up, still functional.

Still deadly.

I looked further and saw with a most unpleasant thrill of horror that another rusted-but-functional Guardian lay roughly a hundred and twenty degrees round the tower from the first!

And somehow....

Somehow I didn’t need to see it to know that a third one must lurk where I couldn’t see it behind the tower.

David grinned horrible knowing grins at me. He’d already done this tower.

“How long did you say this took you?”

“Not long at all,” he said, “I just—” He moved his pointed index finger through the air and gave a little swoosh sound through his teeth. “—did it all at once.”

I entered into a frenetic bout of pacing side to side and round in circles, groaning for what lay ahead—

“Do it for Mei,” David urged in half seriousness.

o____o

....Well that steeled me right up.

At length I started down the hillside—

“Where are you going?” David asked with some urgency.

I stopped.

“You should paraglide in!”

“Seriously?”

“They won’t be able to hit you.”

Somehow I doubted that, but....

I climbed back to the highest point overlooking the tower that I could.... and jumped for it.

And after an all too short sail through the air.... the piano began to pound in rapid triplets.

The first Guardian’s targeting laser settled onto a spot over my heart and stuck there like a tight, red needle. I wanted to turn back—

“Just keep going straight!” David said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

And so I kept going straight for the tower.

I could hear the Guardian’s targeting systems beeping now. The laser began to flicker—

“It won’t hit you,” David assured me.

And in the split second the laser disappeared, the Guardian locked on to the position I occupied in space . . . . and fired.

The hot blue pulse whizzed behind my back by a good five feet—it seemed the Guardians—the mighty, terrifying, indiscriminately destructive Guardians—had not even the humble octorok’s foresight to lead their targets.

It still didn’t stop them from trying, though; and I couldn’t maintain my sufficiently fast flight-speed forever. The targeting laser came back, and I reached the tower, and crumpled onto a platform, ducking low—

And the Guardian lost me.

Oh Farore it lost me.

NOW WHAT? 8C

David directed me to ascend the tower, and to just jump in my climbing right before the Guardian fired. For the same effect I had just achieved while flying.

Oh gads I downed a speed elixir and just screwed up my courage and up I went....!

Mipha was getting overworked.

“That didn’t work, David,” I said.

“Oh....”

I crouched again on the platform.

“No wait, I think what I did was jump to get onto the next platform before the Guardians could shoot me.”

I looked at him.

My speed elixir was still coursing through my veins, becoming thinner by the second....

I reloaded a save from back on the hill with the Korok, and sailed to the tower again.

Now as I crouched on the first platform, the same speed elixir fresh down my throat, I stood up and leapt up the tower wall—the mad triplitive piano started up—and I scrambled, scrambled—jumped once straight up—scrambled a bit further—the lasers beginning to flicker—came level with the next platform—JUMPED SIDEWAYS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY MEMORY—came above the platform—GOT DOWN FAST AND DUCKED—

And oh my gosh I made it.

The lasers disappeared and the piano left off.

Well this was.... TERRIFYINGLY DOABLE.

Many platforms and a great deal of palm-sweat later, I reached the top of the Sheikah Tower. I ran to the center and activated the pedestal—I did NOT want to go through any of that again....

And the rune distilled down into my Sheikah Slate, AND . . . .

THAT SPLIT OF THE RIVER WHAT LOOKED LIKE JUST ANOTHER PART OF THE CASTLE MOAT—IT REALLY DID TRAIL AWAY SOUTH PAST THE WETLAND STABLE, DOWN TOWARD THE DUELING PEAKS AND RIGHT UNDER PROXIM BRIDGE.

THERE WAS MY MISSING WATERWAY.

“So warp to that shrine and follow it!” said David.

But no, I had expended a great deal climbing this tower; I wanted to have a proper look around first.

I gazed foolishly at shrines peeping out of the earth, away on dangerous ground, surrounded by who KNEW what....

There was one in the general direction of the castle.

“Did you get that one?” I asked him.

“No,” he said, “But I went for it. I paraglided down into a forest, and then a Guardian showed up—it got really close to me—”

“All up in your grill?”

“Yeah, so I just warped away.”

Hm, after my reload back on the Korok’s hill.... I hadn’t seen that loose, six-legged Guardian about.... Where had it got to?

The shrine glowed like a tantalizing torch. I thought.... What would be the harm in just seeing? I could do what David did, and if any Guardians caught on to my movements, I could just warp away too....

I leapt for it, north toward the castle. And as I lost altitude the rusted Guardians on the ground set their lasers into my back.... Uhuhuhuhh it was a terrifying float to the ground—with my angle increasingly parallel to their targeting lasers—did I dare try to weave?

But I touched down on the grass without incident, and the piano heralded no more stray Guardians out for my blood.

There were however three great Stalmoblins that popped up right in front of me—heck with those things, I was mad-dashing it!

I ran for the stand of trees just ahead, sprinting as I could until I was safe beneath their boughs.

Ha—and what exactly was the definition of safe in these parts anyway?

Near one of the last trees—the northernmost—I could hear the telltale clinking wooden sound of a Korok. And that last big tree had a large hole in its side, with something that looked like an enormous acorn in it.

Somehow I’d always figured these were Korok puzzles, but I’d never taken the time to figure this particular kind out—but I was never coming back here again; if I wanted it I’d have to do something now.... Acting on instinct, I drew my bow and shot the acorn.

Just as it exploded in a happy little shower of confetti with a bang and a tiny fanfare, I noticed the loose Guardian up the hill to my left.

“Yahaha!” chirped the Korok, “You found me!”

I backed up hastily behind another tree. “Shut up Korok you’re gonna give us away!” I hissed.

But the Korok only tossed me a seed and giggled, “Buh-bye!”

I peeked round my tree.

The Guardian was gone.

This had been a silly outing, just a game, an experiment, a test—I’d meant to beeline toward that shrine, but....

Well I’d made it to the trees, and no Guardians were after me. Maybe I could make it a bit farther. But I’d need to stay low....

I bent away toward the right, sinking with the land, trying to hide with the folding of the hills as I dashed on ahead.

There was a bare, dead kind of riverbed crossing the way ahead of me, and beyond it a blasted stone ridge of some kind—perhaps earth thrown up and baked into crater-rings in the tumult of a hundred years ago.

Rusted Guardians littered the riverbed.

“Oh my gosh what if they’re aliiiive?” I groaned to David.

“Use your camera.”

“What?”

“Zoom in; it’ll show you if they’re an enemy.”

“UHH—” Taking my precious attention off my surroundings to peer into the constricted pictobox, I zoomed in to look at the Guardians—

“They’re dead,” said David.

I took his word for it, and kept running.

“Oh my gosh, you’re insane,” said David.

“Did you get this far?”

“No!” he gave a high-strung laugh.

There was a low, level spot between two sections of the ridge—the way to get to the shrine. But there were Guardian Flyers patrolling that corridor. I veered instead toward the section on the right, and scrambled up the stone.

“Oh my gosh you’re crazy!” said David.

As if I didn’t already feel it.... .__.;

One lonely red fox sniffed around the bare top of the ridge. I sank into a crouch as I moved toward it, wanting to get away from the ridge’s slope. I was on such a prominent jut of the land, but perhaps if I stayed low, I could still hide from anything close by down on the field....

The fox let out a little bark of surprise at my approach, and then darted away with a squeal. I hoped it wouldn’t attract any attention....

The shrine, I could see, lay on the other side of the left section of the ridge. And it was further hedged about by mounded earth on all its other sides. Two Guardian Flyers circled it in a clockwise pattern; they came north-to-south through the little corridor gap. One of them was coming right now.

“Oh my gosh it’s right there....” I croaked to David, my stomach tight.

The droning of it as it passed so near to where I was.... I could see the mountings of its propellers.... If I’d wanted to.... I could have run out and jumped on top of it....

“Those kind have fifteen hundred health, just so you know,” said David.

“Oh GREAT.” Thanks, David.

The Guardian Flyer passed so close, so close.... and then, miraculously, beautifully, perfectly, turned away to hover down the bare riverbed, toward the west, after the other flyer, which was already down that way—

The window was opening. This was the biggest chance. They were both looking the other way and it was the start of a whole cycle before they would come this way again—

I ran for it. I stood up, I bolted, I leapt off the ridge, and paraglided across the gap and toward the other section.

“ANDREA!” David yelped.

A laser settled onto my back.

The triplitive piano woke up—it sounded different than before....

My heart felt as if it pulsed to twice its normal size at every beat, harder and faster.

Another laser settled onto my back.

The flyers hadn’t seen me, the flyers hadn’t seen me....

“Oh my heart.... oh my heart’s goin’ that fast....” I strained.

A section of brickwork wall, a parapet, branched northward off the west section of ridge—was there a gate beneath it? A way through?

I didn’t check, and took the higher way.

Did one laser lose me?

One laser was flashing.

Sprinting, sprinting, sprinting—up to the crest—past the brickwork parapet—I leapt—

Crunch onto moldy sodden grass at the bottom—

“UH! MY HEART!” I cried.

There was the shrine. I bolted again. Forward, forward, up, up—Katah Chuki was its name—dashed to the pedestal—activated it—the door-opening cinematic was the longest I’d ever seen it....

“You’re CRAZY!” said David.

“Oh my gosh....” I clutched my chest. My limbs were shaking.

I ran to the elevator and hit the down button repeatedly, and after I descended and when I stepped out into the chambers of Katah Chuki....

David laughed.

It was a Combat Shrine.