Aquas and LousySpy and the Monster Born Of Darkness

Waking of Saturday, January 26, 2019 ~ 2

Aquas and LousySpy and the Monster Born Of Darkness

This had been a long time coming.

I warped to the Dueling Peaks, took out Knight from the Stable, and rode him to Hateno. Saving a few people along the way, of course.... I swear, that stretch of road....

I made it to Hateno, and found Bolson and his crew. Still sitting out by that wok beside the old empty house.

....

Hateno was one of the first places I had visited; Bolson was an early snake in my life. But now I had traveled the world, or at least the country, and seen just about every habitation there was to see.... just on the vague off chance there might be.... someone else making a similar offer.... somewhere.... Though in my heart as time went on.... I think I had known.... there wouldn’t be.

The Deku Tree’s Navel was homely enough, and Pepp was kind to keep a bed there just for me. But.... I was no Korok....

And these Champions’ weapons....

And Hateno still left a dreary, unloving taste in my mouth.

But....

....

It was time.

I had seen the world, and it was time.

I approached Bolson, and I finished what I had started so long ago, and I bought the house. I shelled out the three thousand rupees. I had seen that amount come and go and come again in my purse, but now.... I was finally putting it where I’d meant to put it eventually.

I bought the house.

And Bolson was.... taken aback! By me, spending so much at such an age! He just found it so.... studly.

Lol Bolson is so gay.

And so the house was mine. As was a weapon mount Bolson and crew had left in there that didn’t get sold. “Consider it a housewarming gift,” Bolson said.

A weapon mount.... Hmmm.... I thought I’d seen those in David’s Hateno House....

After the transaction, it was decided that Hudson, one of Bolson’s men, was going to Akkala. Bolson Construction was expanding.

Well that was sudden. :c

I said goodbye to him and bade him good luck.... and he told me to take care of myself.... Nice guy, Hudson. I always liked him.... when I spoke to him. He was always the most cordial.

He even had his own little.... music.... some gentle musical theme.... as he walked off and away into the fade-out.

Aww. :( I’d miss that guy.

Hahhhh.

....

But for NOW....

....

I WENT TO CHECK OUT MY HAUS.

....

I ran inside and it was so bare. But it was mine.

“This is my house,” I said to David.

The wooden floors gaped dustily up at me as I pounded around in the silence.

“This is my house,” I said again.

“....”

“THIS.... IS MY HOUSE. THIS IS MY HOUSE!” I started singing. XD

And David actually recognized it and rolled his eyes hard.

“WON’T YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE? THIS IS.... THIS IS MY.... HOUSE THISISMY HOUSE.... WON’T YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE—I’LL GIVE YOU.... A GOOD SPELL, FOR YOU TO USE. SO YOU CAN JUMP ON MY ROOFS AND EVERYTHING LIKE THAT. THIS IS MY HOUSE. PLEASE, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, IT’S—NOT YOUR HOUSE. I’VE GOT A BIG BEARD! Out of my house.... out.... Ah, don’t stab me....”

....

I don’t think I actually sang the whole thing for/at David but I sure as heck ain’t gonna leave it out of the log.

I ran happily around my new house a few more times, up to the loft and down again, around and around before the initial excitement wore down pretty hard.

Um, the house was all bare. It didn’t even have a door.

I’d finally mounted Mipha’s spear up on the wall, and that was something, but.... where was everything else? David’s house was much fuller than this....

I ran out the doorway to look for Bolson again, getting halfway across the little bridge before stopping and.... hmmmm turning back and grabbing Mipha’s spear again; I didn’t like leaving it alone in a house with no door.

I ran to go find Bolson, but the evening was falling fast and I didn’t find him.

But I did find Kilton.

!

And I remembered.

Now that I’d beaten another Divine Beast....

He should have something new!

Now I could finally see whatever it was that David had seen.... I had guessed and guessed that time, hoping for answers just as much as not. Was it a Hinox Mask? A Guardian Mask? Some kind of Malice-Immunity Potion? But David never said....

I approached the little man in his balloon now....

Kilton was very excited. He’d outdone himself this time. He had created the ultimate monster gear. “I’m actually a bit terrified of myself right now,” he said.

Oh my gosh WHAT IS IT?

He called it.... the dark series.

What?

And he said when I put on this ultimate monster camouflage, I might just become a monster myself. “Have fun being hunted for your organs,” he tells me.

WHAT?

He also said that I might find myself able to move faster at night. “Not sure how that worked out,” he says, “but....” He trailed off.

Oh my gosh....

WHAT IS IT, KILTON?

I clicked through his dialogue until he finally finished his spiel, and I got into his items. Scrolled down.... down.... down....

And....

OH MY GOSH IT WAS A DARK LINK OUTFIT.

Dark Link!

And I studied it a bit more.... “OH MY GOSH THOSE ARE OOT’S BRACERS!” I said to David.

“Who’s Oot?”

“This is OoT’s outfit!”

“Who’s Oot?”

“Ocarina of Time.”

“Oh.”

I knew them by the broad banding over the forearms, and the boot-flaps, and the tunic-lapels, and the shaping of the bandolier and the broadness of the belt.

OoT!

Kilton said he’d designed these with a monster born of shadow in mind.

Uh muh gush....

What an enormous upwelling of nostalgia.

So I started trading him monster bits for his Mon currency. Fortunately I had over 400 Lizalfos Talons and Chuchu Jellies, over 300 Bokoblin Fangs and plenty of Ancient Screws and things.... I made exactly as much as I needed: 3,997 Mon.

And I bought the Dark Tunic for 999 mon.

And I bought the Dark Trousers for 999 mon.

And finally.... I bought the Dark Hood for 1,999 mon.

And I put them all on and....

Oh....

My gosh....

Well that was right creepy.

I was Dark Link!

....

I swear he bore his teeth more.... when he wore this Dark Series....

So I ran to find some townsfolk to scare. But they only jumped and cowered and then spoke to me normally.

And I finally found Bolson! Inside one of the houses in the morning just before he woke up. I just had to wait a minute because he couldn’t be bothered until he got back to the Hylian home.

And shortly, but not shortly enough.... he did. And I spoke to him. And he could see that I was looking at him like I was displeased, or wanted him to keep working on the house—because I did.

So he said he’d finish making it a real home for 5,000 rupees.

You sneakthief!

“But for you, we’ll just start at 100.”

Uh huh, of course you will....

So I spent that morning having him build me things. First, a door, for one hundred rupees.

I forked over the cash, and he called Karson, and in the ensuing blackout I was happily amused to hear that it sounded like the two of them SERIOUSLY got to work! With much manly grunting and huffing and puffing and yelling and guttural shouts all to the rhythm of the sounds of manual construction! XD And when the scenery faded back in, my house had a brand new door. Very nice.

And for a hundred rupees more, a bed up in the loft. And another hundred rupees for some lighting over the main floor. And with each job, the same riotous blackout occurred, Bolson and Karson both yelling and sawing and hammering and yelling some more until the job was done.

That was it for the installation projects. Next I had him add to the mounts on my wall, and he charged me for each one. Two more weapon mounts on the far wall, three shield mounts on the right wall below the loft, and three bow mounts on the left wall. Not in that order, but that’s where they appeared.

With the mounts—and the door—in place, I mounted Mipha’s Spear, and the Ceremonial Trident, along with the stylish Forest Dweller’s Shield, and my trusty, trusty Phrenic Bow. They would be safe and secure in this house. And kept from cumbering me out on the field.

When I was out of mounting options and other interior projects, I had Bolson do exterior work. Even in the rain. Oh I first moved Knight into the roofed stall off the west side of the house and out of the wet. (He and I looked amazing together while I wore the Dark Series.) But I still made Bolson work, despite the cutscenes being robbed of their vibrancy in the silver haze. Plant flowers! Plant trees! (I could hardly spot the wide-angle differences in the downpour.) And finally, A sign with my name on it!

And Bolson and Karson hollered their way through it all, as the last drops finally began to peter out.

The sign stood neatly on its own little pedestal just to the left of the path from the bridge to my door; and it read, I could see after I’d studied it for a moment:

MASTER LINK

                  PRESENTED BY SAKURDA BUILDERS

And when all that had been done, Bolson said “YOU... HOUSING MONSTER!” Or something like it. “You got everything?”

And since I had worked him for all he was worth, he threw in some free furniture for me. (“Karson! Look alive!”) And that.... was that.

And Bolson and Karson left off.

And my house was a home.

And the sidequest Hylian Homeowner flashed across my screen.... Complete.

My gosh, how long had it been?

I didn’t know.

Home complete.... I rode Knight back to Dueling Peaks. Still in my Dark Getup. And the Bokoblins we passed.... leapt out in blatant attacks.

Um.... they didn’t seem very fooled.

I asked David if bad guys did this when he wore the Dark Suit, but he hadn’t bought this set. It was expensive.

Some field research was in order it seemed. I got to Dueling Peaks, boarded Knight, and ran down the road west between the peaks toward the Bokoblin camp. They were all asleep.

So I woke them up with a whistle. Or... did I? They seemed to come to before I could blow. Hmm.

And they all attacked me.

What the heck, Kilton?

One of them hit me with an arrow, and it HURT! D:<

Good gravy that took off a lotta hearts!

Under further attack, I warped away mid-stun to Cotera. Maybe she could upgrade the stuff.

But it was unupgradable.

-_- What in the heck, Kilton?

The ensemble.... didn’t seem to have any good perks.... that I could immediately discern....

But getting another idea I kept it on anyway, and started having the Great Fairy cast her upgrades on my spare Flamebreaker Armor. I had the materials and I just wanted to see something....

I had her upgrade until the kiss. And the little cinematic gave me a clear view of Link’s red-eyed, black-skinned, dark, evil, behooded face.

Oh....

Yeah he definitely bore his teeth more in this outfit....

Sneering. Leering. Narrow-eyed menacing.

My gosh.

Well that was nightmarish.

I reloaded without saving to just before the Great Fairy because I wanted to keep my Smotherwing Butterflies.

Well.

Now what.

....

As long as I was in Kakariko, I went and tried it on the Guardian out back. The Dark Series.

But nope, the Guardian still saw me and got mad. Piano all riled up.

Hm.

I was running out of gas.

....

I warped to the Hateno Ancient Tech Lab and visited Purah. Scared her and Symin with the Dark Suit all right! Symin says—(uh?)—that I can add pictures to my Compendium for a price.... huh, not sure if I knew that before....

Paraglided to.... my house. Scared Bolson on the way.

I have a house now.

And it does look nice.

And it is inviting.

I changed out of my Dark Suit and into my Champion’s tunic, Hylian Hood and Hylian Trousers.

It was 1:10 in the afternoon.

I slept in my very own bed for the first time, until the morning.

Good night.

And at church the next morning, Shelene and I sang. A beautiful song about how by serving the needy, we truly serve Christ, and enrich our own lives as well. And throughout the rest of the cracks between church, women kept coming up to me, and I assume to Shelene as well, to tell me that our singing had moved them to tears.

High Hopes . . . Bogged

Waking of Saturday, December 8, 2018 ~ 2

High Hopes . . . Bogged

David asked me later about the shrine in Ludfo’s Bog, and how I had gotten the orbs down.

“I just climbed up and got ‘em,” I said.

He stared at me.

“....What?” I said.

“You climbed up and got them?”

“Well, I mean, it took some doing, but I had enough stamina—and the Climbing Gear!”

And he stared at me like Gonzo stares at an imbecilic Rizzo, and I stared back at him like an oblivious Kreacher who doesn’t see the issue.

And then he shook his head and I kept playing.

Off to Hestu. I had enough Korok seeds. I asked for one last dance and Hestu did his thing and sang his song, his maracas exploding in a giddy burst of blue confetti.... and I obtained the final shield slot.

Now all my equipment pages were full.

“Shakalo!?” he started with a jolt, “You’ve expanded all your inventories!?”

But he recovered himself quickly and resumed his easy swaying stance dance. “Naaaaaaice!” he said, the word flanked by little music notes. XD

NOW what would he do?

“Thanks to you my maracas sound so... shakey-shake SHAKETY!”

Yes? OuO

“There are more children of the forest out there, and I’m sure they’d still love to meet you!”

Or some such words.

....Oh.

I guessed that really was it. Each equipment page now had twenty slots of hammerspace and.... that was it.

I guessed the rest of the Koroks were....

Well what would happen if you got the rest of the Koroks?

....

I might not pursue that in this playthrough.

Well! With my pockets deep as they would ever go it seemed, I ran to see what I could see in another unvisited piece of the world.

I’d seen this one many times in looking over my map of Central Hyrule—it was hard to miss with its contingent of giant ribs sticking out of the earth in unnatural arrangements, the tight cluster of weathered skull-dens, and the giant horned skull that sat atop the crest of the hill.

This was a place my map called the Bottomless Swamp. It was situated on the eastern edge of the central plains, just north of Whistling Hill. But I’d never ventured close to it for the rampant Guardians in the area....

It seemed a Guardian-free approach could possibly be made from the riverbank on the east side. But that direction led up through the forest of battlemented ribs, as well as an overabundance of sprawling, gurgling Pools of Malice. And it was uphill from low ground, no less. No.... I would take the back door.

I could handle the Guardians now.

I ran out into the grass until the Guardian Stalker saw me. It had the higher ground, but I could still time my parries all right.... Maybe due to my experiences outside the Pit Gate, it just made me nervous whenever they had the high ground.... in the grass....

I took the Guardian down, and proceeded to the top of the hill. At the crest, the grass died away and the earth became pale and hard, sinking into a large depression full of bogwater, in the middle of which rested the enormous horned skull. Monsters patrolled around on it, inside and out, except where one massive horn had partially broken off. That ponderous fragment rested alone and low in the muck. Around the edges of the bog, Malice pressed in toward the shore and sloughed heavily away downhill to the east and among the skull-dens clustered into the rock like trophies. By the river, the ribs stood clawlike in a challenging and grotesque barrier. Interspersed with all of this stood tall, jagged rocks that were pocked all over as if they’d been boiled.

Ugh, it was creepy. Malice and bogwater....

I stormed the castle nonetheless, knocking what baddies I could into the muck with my arrows before.... eugh.... paragliding over the bog and landing on the connected horn’s lower tip—for the horns curved back and down and around, like rams’ horns.

The number of silver monsters I was made to endure, Bokoblins and Moblins, was a right pain in my royally beknighted patushka. I knocked them into the bog as often as I could; any gemstones they might have dropped weren’t worth the hassle of beating it out with them over solid ground. Or bone.

After I’d cleared the top, I was blessed to discover a hole in the crown of the skull, via which I could rain terror from above on the inner inhabitants, courtesy of Ja Baij. And as the inner level was not well founded, the blasts were sufficient to knock most of the smaller baddies over the edges and into the sucking, mucky drink. But that big heavy Moblin.... him I just had to sail down and deal with personally.

When every last baddie had been sent back to the Evil Jar, I turned my attentions to the precarious plank of wood bridging a large and dangerous gap in the floor of the inner layer. On the other side, nestled in the cavity of the occipital bun, was a wooden chest.

Huh, wooden....

But appearances weren’t everything. This place was so dreadfully imposing, so heavily guarded, surely there had to be something valuable inside....

I tiptoed my way across the plank, and opened the chest.

It was a hundred rupees.

A cool hundred rupees.

Neat.

Thanks, guys.

I got off the skull island and traipsed around the hillside to the east, skirting the Malice pools and sweeping up what baddies I’d missed. There was a small forest a short way to the north. The forest that spanned from one shore of the river to the other, just near the Wetland Stable. Pikango had said.... there might be a memory in there....

Or, well, rather I had shown Pikango one of the images from Princess Zelda’s pictograph gallery, and he had said the pictograph was probably taken in that forest, though on what side of the river he could not tell.

I knew David had yet to find the memory linked to the pictograph taken in a woods....

But David never stops to chat it up with the locals.

The only problem was.... David and Savannah were in the room with me now, and they wanted to watch a movie.

Huaaugh I killed time in pointless ways, examining boring-looking hills for Koroks, running back to climb a stone tower.... The forest was so close.... I wanted to explore it for the memory, but.... I didn’t want to let on to David what I was doing.... Plus with he and Savannah together in the room.... That was an as yet unknown variable, and I didn’t want to risk any buzzkill at all, especially with a memory cinematic on the line....

Eugh and there was that tense bit in the conversation; David kept pestering me to wrap it up and get off already.... but I kept pressing that I wanted to explore.... How did it lead up to what he said....?

“What is there a memory in there or something?” His voice was still chiding, not serious, but crap.

“I didn’t say that—” Wrong thing to say. “—I’ve been trying to find Koroks....” Or some such lame excuse when I’d ONLY JUST already maxed out my carrying capacity....

I ran around the riverside green like a distractible puppy—typical enough behavior in and of itself whenever I was running out of juice on playtime.... Did it throw him off the scent?

He pressed me further. They wanted to watch a movie.

“Okay, okay,” I said at length when I could think of nothing else to do.

I relented, and went to Pepp’s—it was 9:00 in the morning, game time—and slept until noon.

Good night.

On The Joys Of Mountaineering

Waking of Friday, October 12, 2018

On The Joys Of Mountaineering

From the Spring of Wisdom and the Jitan Sa’mi Shrine I swirled my snowy way down and around the mountainsides, tracking Koroks—I hadn’t known they could hide in ice! And during one sweeping paraglide, the wind began to pick up, and I knew....

Turning, I saw that Naydra had descended again; he was twining westward, toward the Lanayru Road.

I’d had to sacrifice his scale to the Spring of Wisdom before, but this time.... I wanted a piece of him and I wanted to keep it!

I sailed after him. But he already had such a head start, and he was such a gigantic creature and his head was already so far away.... I’d wanted a hornshard, but.... A scale would have to do.

I pelted his crystal Caribbean hide with an arrow and chinked off a scale. It glittered for a moment before breaking off and sailing down toward the earth.

And I realized I might have made a terrible miscalculation.

We were still so high off the ground, Naydra and I. We were essentially floating out from the peak of one of the tallest mountains in the game. The ground.... was an immaterial thing, at these heights.

But it quickly became material, as I saw the scale break off and arc, and arc, and arc down through the sky, on a trajectory that took it far beyond the icy mountain, away from the Lanayru Road, away from anywhere I’d ever been before....

It smashed against an unfamiliar mountainside on the other side of a large, dark body of water.

I kept sailing toward it, casting an unsure glance at my stamina wheel....

I had to paraglide all the way over Lanayru Bay to a place called Trotter’s Downfall, shedding altitude in great chunks near the end, for I wasn’t sure I was going to make it....

I hit the sodden green earth on my last red sliver of strength, and David and I laughed in relief. A short jog later, the scale of Naydra was mine.

But I made a mental note to not try knocking off pieces of dragons at high altitudes again, before warping back to the Jitan Sa’mi Shrine.

My wanderings over Mount Lanayru brought me easterward until, in a saddle near the sea, but still high enough to be snowbound, my shrine detector started going off. I ignored it for only a little spell, just to climb a certain Walnot Mountain while I had the altitude on my side.... and then headed back toward the lower spot where the signal was strongest.

A Korok distracted me something sadistic along the way. It was a race. From the saddle down to the lower crag’s edge.

Paragliding? No, I couldn’t sail down there fast enough.

What about a long, straight paraglide followed by a sharp drop at the end? That almost worked.... but not quite. And it hurt on the landing.

I tried a few combinations of paragliding and shedding altitude.... all to no effect.

What about the straight up bone-breaking approach of just running down the mountain? No good. That didn’t work either. And it hurt even more.

Difficult Korok....

I stopped to get the shrine partway through my efforts for the Korok just to quiet the brreep-brreeping of my Slate. It lay behind some explodable rocks between the saddle and the crag; I’d been flying over it at each pass to get the Korok.

The Tahno O’ah Shrine it was called. And when I finally unearthed it, the shrine quest banner title Secret of the Cedars flashed across my screen, with a Complete status now affixed to it. Who knew! I’d forgotten.... Somebody had told me long ago.... those three trees on the mountain.... Line them up and they’d point to a trial encased in stone....

Guessed that was the shrine.

Tahno O’ah was kind enough to simply grant me his blessing, and in the accompanying treasure chest, I found....

CLIMBING BOOTS. SWEET.

So the Bandana was part of a set!

And I thought.... I’d found that Bandana nestled back in the Dueling Peaks, in the Ree Dahee Shrine.... And here on this mountain were the Climbing Boots.... Hmm, climbing gear found on mountains.... Maybe on another mountain somewhere, I would find a climbing shirt!

I exited the shrine and once again made the arduous climb back up the snowy hillside to the race’s start on top of the saddle. I hadn’t been able to use my Climber’s Bandana, on account of having to wear both the Warm Doublet and the Ruby Circlet to stay warm. Unfortunately my new Climbing Boots couldn’t help me out much either; I needed my Snow Boots to maintain a decent mobility.

Soon.

I tried for the Korok again. Got close but just not quite there....

Enter David. “Oh THAT one,” says he.

“Why what a knowing grin you wear,” says I.

I asked him if he’d used the paraglider. He said he hadn’t. It was a simple trick, he said.

But I had only complicated guesses. “You started the race up here, and you finished with your actual person down at the finish? There wasn’t like.... some kinda Ben Statue trick?” “Did you use the Ninja Suit?” “Did you ride an animal?”

His brows shot up and he frowned at that last one. “Good guess,” he said. But no, it was simpler than that, he told me.

“You didn’t paraglide?” I almost pleaded for the umpteenth time. This Korok was driving me crazy. “And it wasn’t clothes?”

“....You’re wearing it,” he finally said.

I immediately thought of the Sheikah Slate. “Did you Stasis something? Magnesis?”

“No.”

I was flicking into my menus; I studied my person....

And with a groan I saw it—my shield.

“You shield-surfed?”

“Yes!”

“Augh....” I’d forgotten all about shield-surfing.

I went to the map.... There, around to the left. That topo looked smooth enough to try it. It bowed wide of the target, where I would have preferred a beeline. But.... I’d give it a try....

And I did.

And it worked.

“Good job!” said David, “I’m so proud of you!”

Hahh. “Thaaaaanks,” I said. |D

The Piano's Rival

Waking of Saturday, June 2, 2018

The Piano’s Rival

David was with me when I started up in Kakariko!

He’s always so far ahead but now I would show him something he’d never seen or done before!

Maybe a few things! :D

Those Guardians would have come back after the Blood Moon—I went out back and approached the one in the Pit. And when I paraglided down to the little hilly rockpile, below the line of safe escape, facing the monstrosity even as it glowed hot angry pink and lasered in to take careful aim at my heart and the Piano pounded indignation at this brazen affront.... David could not believe what I was doing.

BUT I HELD MY GROUND!

Careful now.... CAREFUL NOW....

“What are you doing?” David gasped.

The targeting laser steadied, the Guardian beeped.... beeped....

....

. . . . . . .

BEEPED . . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

It always took longer than you thought or wanted . . . .

But it was not until the FLASH—and absolutely no later than its first shining—that I swung my shield as the blue-white bolt of death-made-light came streaking in an instant up the field!

KHING!

And the satisfying slow-down so that I could see the reflected bolt almost frozen in the air, bounced back, its trajectory sure....

“Whaaaat?” said David.

And the normal flow of time resumed and the Guardian took the hit in the face!

“WHAAAT?” said David.

And then, riding over the deadly triplitive Piano came a swell of Strings, shining against the terror, just for a moment. At each successful hit they came back, breathing cool strength into the sound. The Guardians were not the only terrors to be reckoned with on this earth!

And this time, my Perfect Parry really was perfect. And in three hits.... the Guardian was down.

MAN THAT FELT SO GOOD! As I sailed down to collect all the bits left behind! So many gears! ^_^ So cool.

And what was more.... when I checked my inventory.... MY SHIELD WAS STILL SPARKLY!! 8D I’d come in with a new shield—and the Perfect Parry had upheld its quality, prolonged its life!

AWESOME! XD

I climbed up over the PitGate to see if I could sneak up on the other.... and we saw it creeping around below, quite close to the vertical rockface. I paraglided down.... and landed on its head.

“David! Look!”

The Guardian continued to crawl around, flicking its juddering, hundred-year-old gaze over the grass. Evidently it didn’t know I was there.

But every time it started and turned and started again, I had to readjust my footing on top of its can-head, even as Link bent slightly in that spring-ready stance he takes whenever an enemy is near....

Got kinda tricky when the Guardian wouldn’t get away from the wall, and started tipping....

Oh my gosh.... XD

I hopped down at some point and tried to have it out proper with this one too, but—

Well, my practice wasn’t perfect yet.

In the rolling confusion of close fire I warped away to the Wetland Stable....

That one was close enough to the Honeydell....

Turning the Tables

Waking of Thursday, May 31, 2018 ~ 2

Turning the Tables

Many, many moons ago, before any moons I could remember, before moons were moons, I hurried with a shake from the cold and entered into the Keh Namut Shrine, high on the Great Plateau, and found myself face to face with a three-legged devil terror that wanted to kill me.

It was only the second Guardian I had ever faced, the first having appeared before me in the Shrine of Oman Au.

But in engaging that second one.... somehow....

....Somehow I blocked that one with my shield and learned something called the Perfect Parry.

Hopefully I’ll be able to employ this more purposefully in the future....

That was it....

I checked my list of skills. It was actually called the Perfect Guard, but I think I preferred the alliteration.

That was it. That was what I was remembering.

I.... had never taken the time to finesse my swordplay—I’d always imagined I would, in the future, at some point....

But I never had.

But now....

Well I wanted to show David something but he wasn’t coming and I dared not do anything important in the meanwhile but I could go hunting because I needed those gears for the Ancient Cuirass—

AND I WAS GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME FOR THE PRESENT ANYWAY.

I needed gears. And only Guardians had gears.

So....

Up to my aid came the memory of an accidental parry, and....

I wanted to test it.

I wanted to try doing it on purpose.

Perhaps it had only been foolish to think of making the attempt in the middle of that basement full of nightmares, but.... where could I....?

I knew.

Back to Robbie’s place—The Decayed Guardian down the hill would suffice for the experiment. I floated down to say hello....

I.... stood my ground.... and held my shield....

No was it a two-handed weapon in my grasp? What was I doing—Daruk’s protection wore thinner....

I had come in too fast without a plan—And then as I could not take much more I made a dash for the other side of the stone, falling shamefully back to a panicked mashing of buttons.... I was Z-targeting, but I was facing away. The blast came. Daruk roared again.

But—

....

And the Guardian died?

How had—?

Was it because the shield had been on my back?

That happened to me in Majora’s Mask.

But if the shield were not actually deployed (for it was a Guardian shield)....

....

This needed more practice.

I collected the Guardian’s remains—there were no gears.

Cheapskate.

I was out of Ancient Arrows anyway. I didn’t want to go charging up against any more Guardians, decayed or not, without some backup. So it was back to Robbie’s again, where I bought ten more arrows. But I only had eighteen or nineteen gears. Not enough for the Cuirass.

Soon.... VERY SOON....

I warped to Kakariko Village—there were a couple more fairly manageable Guardians near there. I wanted to see if I could get more gears, continue practicing the Perfect Parry and, if need be, put my new arrows to use.

Oh my gosh I was hunting Guardians.

My first target was that one in the pit out back, at the top of the Sahasra Slope.

That first live one I’d ever seen....

Where was this Courage coming from?

....

I guess.... the lightning strikes near you often enough, and makes the earth to shake....

At some point you just stop trembling.

....

But you try not to get struck nonetheless.

My timing was very much off, and I lost my footing in the fireballs. One laserbolt destroyed my Guardian Shield and I had to switch to a Knight’s Shield—It wasn’t Ancient Tech; would it work the same?

This was a dangerous skill to practice; there was no padded training arena for this. But Daruk protected me. And Mipha kept watch.

I managed to take the Pit Guardian down using only the Perfect Parry followed up with normal arrows to its eye.

I slew a Guardian without an Ancient Arrow.

And the second one just through the PitGate and out on the grass was almost as manageable! But, as Daruk became exhausted with my poor sense of timing—and, as I also lost my Knight’s Shield to a laserbolt—I did use an Ancient Arrow to finish that one off.

Two Guardians with one Arrow. Heh.

I made one last stop at Cotera’s to see if there were anything I could upgrade—turned out there were—I bumped up the defense on some of my Circlets.

And then it was back to Robbie’s once again because those two Guardians out back of Kakariko had bumped me up to twenty-four gears!

I HAD ENOUGH GEARS FOR THE CUIRASS!

AND CHERRY MADE IT FOR ME!

KhuAGH! My wallet!  >⩄<

But it didn’t matter—I had enough rupees—and now I had two of the three pieces of armor that would defend me from my deepest nightmares!

DANG it, Nintendo! I said it before! Why do they do this!

The only way to acquire the thing that would make your most dreaded trial more bearable.... is to first complete your most dreaded trial without it! OH you cruel ironic building my character so I can—hrrmph!

Back to Cotera’s and I upgraded my new Cuirass, for there were no gears required for the first level. Plenty of lesser parts, but I had enough of those to spare.

There were gears required for the second level of upgrades: ten gears per piece for the Ancient Armor set. I assumed it would be the same case with the Ancient Greaves. After the twenty gears it would cost me to acquire those in the first place....

These things were so expensive.... and not just in rupees.

But.... I was getting better.

Soon I would become better still.

A Blood Moon rose as I ran around Cotera’s forest.

More gears would be ready and waiting for me to collect them.

SOON.

I just needed a few more shields. Mine were running out pretty quick.

SAND SEALS

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 2

SAND SEALS

I guess that, some time ago, I had ventured into the arid regions just enough that my loading screen had decided it was time to start giving me tips about Sand Seals.

I never read these tips. I didn’t want to be spoiled.

But I gathered a Sand Seal was something that could help you travel.

I just guessed it was something you stood on, like a dais, out in the desert, maybe some mini-warpable network that could take you from place to place without making you trudge through the endless sands. But wasn’t that a little redundant....?

Mmm but I did like to comb all the spaces between the anchors....

Then, as I approached Gerudo Town in the growing dawn, I saw a sight that made everything so clear to me:

Large, grey-brown shapes, three of them, sitting or rolling around on the sand before a small pavilion beside the town’s entrance.

I scoped in.

The one facing me had tusks.

Like a walrus.

IN THE SAND.

“Sand Seals!” I gasped!

It was THAT kind of seal! 8D

Whaaaaaaat? >u<

Oh my gosh did I ride it? Like a horse? Or like on the back of Prince Sidon? Did they go fast? Would I get a saddle?

My mind spun in dizzy delight as I approached the walls of the town.

The place was alien, but most interesting; so many ruins and strange formations jutted from the sea of sand all around. One shape with towering banners winked at me from within a giant dust-cloud. The Southern Oasis?

I placed a marker and checked my map.

It was smack in Divine Beast territory.

Nope! Definitely something for another day. :)

I hurried toward the Sheikah Shrine at the corner of the town—the Daqo Chisay Shrine. But before I entered, I spoke with the man standing beside it. Benja was his name. And he was the caravan leader.

Though his feet didn’t move, his eyes beneath a shading hand seemed to be walking all up and down the front of the town.

“Are you spying?” I asked him, and he dodged the question with some words about his caravan and the research he was doing or something.

My only response to give to this was, once again, “Are you spying?” XD

“It’s research! RESEARCH!” he shouted. Or some such assertion. XD

I entered the shrine. I think it was the one David said he had solved by just laying a bunch of metal weapons on the floor to complete the electrical circuits. But I just did it the regular way. :3

Afterwards I headed toward the entrance to Gerudo Town.

Two tall Gerudo guards in gleaming, gold-trimmed armor stood on either side. Merina and Dorrah.

First I tried just.... slowly stepping forward. But they had their spears at my throat before I could cross the threshold, and were kind enough to remind me that no voe were allowed in the city.

“I’m sorry... ‘boe’?” I said. Uh, why was this an option?

“Voe! Voe! Bite your lower lip as you say it!”

AND THEN I JUST DIED as I remembered that Japan has no traditional character for V! XD

Oh my gosh this was precious. XD XD

Wait how did they even write it in Japanese??

WHO WROTE THIS? You are just way too much fun. XD XD XD Oh my gosh. Now I want to see screenshots of this exact exchange in the original Japanese. XD

Through with probing the town’s entrance, I turned to the only other NPC that seemed to be a permanent fixture of the location—beneath the canopy to my left stood Frelly.

She stood happily clapping and cooing and calling to the sand seals lolling around on the dune before her. And when I spoke to her, she sounded more perky and friendly than any Gerudo I had ever met. :3

Sadly, since I was a voe, Frelly said I couldn’t go into town to just rent a sand seal for twenty rupees. But she explained that the wild ones were easy enough to catch:

You had to sneak up reeeal quiet behind one, and then you just grab it with A, and steer it with the joystick. But she said really the best way to learn was just to jump right in and try it!

Heh, Frelly was so fun. ^_^

Oh, and she also said I had to have a shield equipped.

A shield? How would that work?

Well, I had one of my three trusty Knight’s Shields equipped already, so.... I snuck up behind one of the sand seals out by the canopy.... and grabbed it.

And surfed on my shield behind it like a CHARIOT! 8D

HA! I rode around and the sand seal burrowed through the sand ahead like a dolphin and I turrrned it this way and turrrned it that way—and it WAS fast! But I didn’t want to get too far away from the city, and so angled back toward Frelly’s canopy.... and let go with B. And off the sand seal went back into the dunes before popping out some distance away to loll on the surface again.

And oh dearie my, I jumped into my inventory to check....

AND MY SHIELD WAS STILL SPARKLY! 8D Riding it around hadn’t damaged it at all!

Well this was just a dandy way to travel! ^_^

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:26p

Is there a “v” sound or

character in Japanese?

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:28p

Only in more modern stuff, a

lot of Japanese people can’t

really pronounce it properly.

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:29p

ヴ is how you write it.

Vince ->ヴィンス

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:32p

Wow! How modern? And what

sound does that character

make without the hash marks?

And is that your name? ^_^

How does it go in Romaji? :D

Oh my gosh I need to calm

down.... X-)

From: Lisa

To: Andrea, Vince

2018-02-05 1:32p

^ ^I was just going to say that.

Katakana u with tenten.

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:35p

As for how it sounds, try

making a “vvvvvv” noise, and

then shifting your lips forward

until it’s just about at an

“ooo.” It’s in the middle of

those two.

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:35p

Without tentens, it’s just

“u” (like the oo in food)

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:36p

Romaji would just be v

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:36p

Tenten! That’s what they’re

called----they usually add

voicings to non-voiced

consonants?

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:37p

Yeah, that’s the trick.

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:38p

I just love you guys. XD