Lunacy at Washa's Bluff

Waking of Saturday, August 11, 2018 ~ 2

Lunacy at Washa’s Bluff

Forget Faron Woods—I wanted that shrine at Washa’s Bluff, dang it.

I rode Memory out from Hateno, still collecting this and that for a bit until we arrived at Dueling Peaks. I boarded him then, maybe for time’s sake, and warped ahead by my lonesome to the Ridgeland Tower. After making a few flights for Branli, setting a new personal best distance record, and earning a few more rupees, I continued on foot into the rolling western hills.

The traffic was unusually thick, and I made a lot of new friends on the road, not the least charming of which were Nazbi and his horse Dauntless. I don’t even remember what they were on about; I just thought it was great to meet such a brash, young-hearted character with a horse by the name of Dauntless. They were a merry duo....

Another hop, skip, and a jump and I had made it to Washa’s Bluff, and the pedestal I’d need to stand on in order to call out the shrine. Kass waltzed away on his accordion in the treeshroom above me....

Hm. I wanted to go see him.

A quick warp to Satori Mountain and a long and precise paraglide saw me up into his lofty home. He recited the riddle for me, to stand on the pedestal bare—

Um....

When the moon bleeds and enemies are reborn, the monks will something as they have sworn, stand on the pedestal bare, with nothing between you and the air.

Or some such words.

It had been a while since the last Blood Moon, and Washa’s Bluff wasn’t exactly easy to get to.... I’d had the thought to do this in my mind for some time, but now I was actually doing it—I was going to wait with Kass until the next Blood Moon. That way I would be sure to get the shrine!

I almost went crazy listening to his music. I read his journal, I climbed on top of his house.... There wasn’t much else to do.

And when there was no Blood Moon that night, I laid down some wood and flint, built a fire, and waited ‘til the next night....

And as luck had it.... that was a Blood Moon.

So I floated down and stood on the now glowing pedestal.

And stood.... and stood.... and stood....

And Zelda’s vision of warning loomed through the night....

And I stood.... and stood.... and....

The pedestal went out?

Wha-euh—? Where was the shrine??

I scurried back into my menus and tracked down the shrine quest details.... I read the poem carefully....

Yes, yes, Blood Moon, blah blah blah....

Stand on the pedestal bare, with nothing between you and the night air.

Stand on the pedestal bare....

Stand on the pedestal bare.... with noth—

OH MY gosh.... this—

The descriptor, “bare”, referred to ME, not the pedestal!

UGHH I couldn’t believe this—Washa’s Bluff was so isolated, so far away from anywhere—There was no quick way to reach it, and Blood Moons gave such short notice.... I’d been so focused on actually being there during a Blood Moon that I hadn’t bothered to heed the rest of the poem....

I’d needed to strip for the shrine to come out.

I thought “bare” was just a rhyming device! Padding! I mean, judging by how every other song and poem in the game had felt when it reared its asymmetrical head.... The localizers had been wonderful and clever; I don’t deny that, but for friggin’— THEIR SENSE OF RHYTHM AND METER....

....

Wonder why it took me ‘til page four hundred to bring this up.

....

Probably ‘cause it’s the first time it’s gotten me in trouble.

....

....

I suppose just a comma might have helped but In my experience once you set a shape for your lilt you plumb that thesaurus ‘til the language FITS or you don’t come back at all.

Dang it.

The thwartation made me reckless; I warped to the Shrine of Katah Chuki—I was gonna get that Korok in the Castle Town Prison....

I actually found a lot of Koroks along the way. But when I closed in on the prison, and killed the Guardian that had scared me off before.... the little row of three statues stood with one platter empty, and the other two bearing.... Rusty Shields?? I didn’t have a Rusty Shield!

And considering the location you’d have thought I’d be able to find one fairly easily but no matter where I wandered there were absolutely none in sight!

So I tried just moving the Rusty Shields over and filling all the platters with apples.

Nothing happened.

Dang it!

I was just thwarted all over today.

I wandered a little more around the riverlands northwest of the castle; there was yet another Consolation Korok on a little crag below the ruins of that Ancient Laboratory or whatever it had been north of Jeddo Bridge. And a Star Fragment struck the earth a good ways upriver, near the base of the northernmost of the gigantic sealing pillars surrounding the castle—I made it there by Ninja Suit. Been picking up a lot of those lately.... due to waiting around looking for so many Blood Moons, I realized.

I flitted back along the shore beneath the Elma Knolls to where I had been, and scared up one more Korok before.... just warping to the Keo Ruug Shrine and sweet Pepp’s bed. I was tired.

It was 10:40 in the morning, game-time.

I slept until noon.

Heh, sounds about like the sleep I might get here, I thought, and went to bed.

Big Sticks

Waking of Saturday, August 11, 2018

Big Sticks

It was always nice at Dueling Peaks. My very first stable.

Poor in both money and supplies, I thought about taking a horse out to ride over to Faron Woods, combing the land for materials along the way. There was also that pesky leaf stamp I had left over there; couldn’t remember what that was about; needed to clear it up....

I chose Memory, and we started out well enough, but on the way we ran into a Big Yiga.

I’d seen David duke it out with these guys. They were slower than their lithe and lean, scythe-wielding counterparts, but thick and tough as old jerky. And they had a few nasty tricks of their own, one of which sent some burrowing devil-flame toward you through the ground....

Fortunately I’d seen David deal with that too.

I leapt as the flame came near and rode the updraft as it combusted beneath me, sailing toward my assailant to get in a few hits of my own....

He went down in due time, and at the end of it all I came back to Memory and found him unharmed; that was good. We weren’t even safe while riding....

The Yiga had dropped a Windcleaver, its long blade shimmering in a ripple as if from water-reflected light....

Nebb wanted to see that. It was a long way to Hateno, not to mention in the opposite direction from Faron Woods, but.... as long as the Windcleaver had just fallen into my lap like that.... I decided to head that way anyway.

However, I was still combing for materials, regardless of my destination. And I found that you can’t really make good progress in any direction when you make it your top priority to chase every little thing you spy along the wayside.

I became VERY distracted near Fort Hateno, climbing all over the hills to the north after Rushrooms and Swift Violets and mineral deposits and critters.... I wandered all OVER those hills and all the dips and climbs beyond....

For certain it did slow me down, but I definitely did not come away emptyhanded—for aside from my scroungings I discovered another Meteor Rod. It was held in the clutches of a prancing Fire Wizzrobe whom I sniped with an Ice Arrow from a high hill. Poor devil never knew what hit him.

I wonder if it respawns when he does at the Blood Moon....

I’m pretty sure that was the case with that insanely powerful Trilizal Boomerang in the western desert. The one with which the Silver Bokoblin zlashed me in the face.

That brute could hit.

The Meteor Rod Wizzrobe danced at the head of the river that ran beneath Kakariko Bridge. I’d definitely have to see whether he’d come back later.... and what heat he’d be packing.... No pun intended.

I eventually came back to the deep-grey clifftops at the south end of all the ranges I had wandered, and looking down to the valley floor saw poor Memory still standing, waiting for me between Fort Hateno and the ensuing forest. He’d been so patient with me. Good boy.

I sailed down and we continued to Hateno, where I showed Nebb the Windcleaver, for which privilege he dropped a sweet hundred rupees. Cool.

Another Hat!

Waking of Saturday, August 4, 2018 ~ 2

Another Hat!

I sand-sealed back to Gerudo Town and found Barta again. As we visited in the barracks, she confided to me that when I’d shown up out there in the desert, she thought the voe of her dreams had appeared.

....Heh.

I also spoke to Liana, and she was so happy I’d found Barta, she said, “Here, take this,” and handed me a hundred rupees, “Go buy yourself something nice at the market.”

Aww, thanks, Liana. ^_^

I said hi to Captain Teake on my way into the palace, where I saw that young Chief Riju had a certain red exclamation mark above her head.... Had I really already....?

I spoke to her.

“You’ve brought back the smiles to my people,” she said, “I know that you more than anyone else will be able to use this helm to its full potential.”

Or some.... such.... words.... Ah, that wonderful little ITEM GET song played, and I found myself in brand new possession of the Thunder Helm.

I was now LIGHTNING PROOF.

SWEET.

Would it make the same bubble-effect in a large radius around me? Would it glow?

I almost tried it on right then and there, but I remembered myself, and where I was.... I would have to leave town first.

I took my leave of the palace and jogged outside to put it on and have a look at myself!

....

There was no glowing or magical effect. Which wasn’t completely unexpected. I was sure it would still protect me well enough....

It did make me look just as buggy-eyed as it had done the Chief, but it was otherwise very shiny and ornate!

Cool. ^_^

Agh but I did not want to stop—I warped to Dueling Peaks to check with Hino just one more time.

But Hino wasn’t there.

I blinked and turned to gather Swift Violets from around the waterfall behind the shrine for a bit.... and after I had plucked as many as I could, then Hino made an appearance.

But there was no Blood Moon tonight.

Hhhhh.

It was in the three o’clock hour in the afternoon. A bit later for myself on the couch.

....

I just went to bed, and slept until morning.

Good night.

The Eldest Fairy

Waking of Saturday, August 4, 2018

The Eldest Fairy

I warped back to Outskirt once again to hit up Trott.

Plus three hundred rupees.

Then to Goron City to see if Ramella had changed her mind, but she still wanted Sapphires.

No way.

From there I warped.... to Gut Check Rock. Perhaps there wasn’t a plethora of rupees this way, but being on the volcano had reminded me....

The last time I had crossed the Deplian Badlands, my shrine-detector had not been active. I wanted to comb the north skirt of the volcano again—I thought there MUST be another shrine somewhere that I had missed! For it was a difficult area to get to, and bordered only by the shrines at Gut Check rock far to the east, and the dark Thyphlo Ruins far to the west—and that shrine wasn’t even worth warping to for the dark way you would have to make out of the maze and over the bog! Dang you, Ketoh Wawai, what were you thinking?

I started westward from Gut Check Rock and climbed up and down all over the mountainside. I killed overly-ready supplies of baddies and collected tons of loot; I got a great pictograph of the Eldin Great Skeleton for those chumps at that Akkala Stable; I nicked off two shards of Dinraal’s horn! didn’t play with the Lynels, though, nope—but still.... I could not find another shrine.

Deplian Badlands.... Too bad even for any Sheikah monks?

....!

Hm. Only now do I consider how the cliff descends into the northern chasm.

I wonder what’s down there....

Although.... doesn’t my sensor detect in lateral directions just the same despite any differences in altitude? Surely I would have heard something already.... Though I’ve never put that to a rigorous test....

As I meandered back to Goron City on foot, I was at least grateful for one thing—there had been a HECKTON of rare ore deposits on the north side of the mountain. And with my new supply of baddie-bits I went to visit Tanko again and sold him a bunch of stuff, and even some Topaz.

That kicked me over ten thousand.

Okay.... hoo.

I warped back to the Gerudo Great Skeleton, and the Great Fairy Tera’s cocoon.

“I got the stuff,” I said, “....This has not been easy.”

I held it out....

The way they always grab the money from you—and just like that—

My hard-sought ten thousand rupees disappeared.

I was poor again, in goods and money.

It was the thinnest I’d felt in a while.

The Great Fairy was rejuvenated, and her cocoon pulsated and opened into a white flower with pink-orange speckles!

And up came Tera AND HER HAIR WAS SO BIG it just wouldn’t STOP—VICTORIAN—WHAT A POMPADOUR! White hair, looming in a HUGE and luscious poof to lean into a dip on her right side—and she had bigger fairy-fin ornaments behind her ears than I had seen on any of her sisters! <3

She was decadent.

She gave a watery cough before properly introducing herself as the eldest of the Great Fairy Sisters. And she said that she had seen my efforts from within her bud.

Well that was heartening. :]

She said that she sees everything. In fact, she said, she was going to predict what I was thinking at that moment!

...

...

And after a moment she said, “I bet you’re probably thinking, ‘Can’t we just get to the part where she enhances my clothes?’”

Haaa lawl. |D

“What an impatient person,” she said. But she impressed that she really did appreciate what I had done for her. And she said that now.... she could enhance my clothes TO THE MAX.

But.... I’d noticed this pattern with the clothing enhancements. My wardrobe was becoming quite extensive, and whenever I took something to a Great Fairy for an enhancement, the item was returned to me waaaay at the back of my inventory. This made it a little difficult to keep the various sets near each other and together, but I was managing that pretty well.... mostly.

I had never employed the Sort button within those menus.... Not on purpose that I can recall anyway. But you know how it is when you accumulate so many messy piles—you know where everything is.... until you clean.

But this was getting to be a lot of messy piles....

Hrmmmrmm....

Maybe I’d try it.... I walked toward the shrine until I got an autosave, after which I entered my menus and sorted my clothes.

Heh, sounds like a chore I’d been neglecting.

I observed the results, which came in two orientations: one by body part.... and oh! one by sets! :) Well that was nice! Perhaps I could utilize that....

Oh I should just do it, I thought. Besides, Tera could work on seventeen of the forty-two items of clothing I had.... I may as well.... eh?

But.... I just.... couldn’t. Not yet.

I paused again, reloaded from just before I had sorted and kept my messy closet.

Mmmmm but to start I would let her enhance the Climber’s Bandana—that one wasn’t part of any set that I had....

It was already up to the third level, so this should have maxed it out then.

So I turned it over to Tera and she leaned in close and HER MOUTH WAS OPEN WIDE AND OH MY GOSH SHE JUST GRABBED ME IN HER GIANT FIST AND SNOODLED ME SO HARD AGAINST HER SWEETLOVING FACE AND THEN PLUNGED BACK DOWN INTO HER WATER INSIDE HER FLOWER WHAT—

Link’s scream so quickly faded away and the screen went black.

My mind instantly conjured up the deep blue, rippling, colorful world inside her home, and I wondered.... What would I see? Inside her flower?

But the screen only came back a moment later, above ground as ever.

When I came to, I was lying face down on the petally platform where would I normally speak to any Great Fairy.

I got up with a groan.

My Climber’s Bandana was enhanced.

“Want me to enhance any others?” she asked me in some such words of her own verbiage.

And I would have imagined the answer to be NOPE NO THANKS, THANKS BUT NO.

OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA EAT ME.

But.... I upgraded a bunch of clothes anyway. And those pieces ended up all out of order in my inventory but.... that was okay. I couldn’t complain with the results; they were so strong.

“Sometimes I’m so good it’s scary,” Tera said.

All The World's a Pawn Shop

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 6

All The World’s a Pawn Shop

Rupees. I needed rupees.

My first stop was Trott at the Outskirt Stable; he was always willing to pay a hundred rupees for a hunk of gourmet meat! But.... he would only do it thrice a day. But that was three hundred rupees more than I had. That put me just over a thousand.... Only nine thousand to go....

....

At least it wasn’t over nine thousand.

Next was Goron City. I knew there was a Gerudo wandering around there who would pay top-rupee for certain ores.... and I found her—Yamella, no, Ramella, that was her name.

But she wanted my Sapphires—and ten at a time at that! I couldn’t split with ten of those! What if I needed them for something else? What if a Great Fairy could do something with them?

I couldn’t cut a deal with Ramella.

So I went to the Goron City General Store, and had a visit with Tanko. I skimmed my supplies to him bit by bit BY BIT until I had 8,039 rupees in my wallet.

But there was a lot that I just wasn’t willing to part with. Like gemstone ores, though I spared as many Ambers and Opals as I would. But Rubies, Sapphires and Diamonds? Those were just too hard to come by.

8,039.... That was pretty close....

But.... I was getting tired....

I needed to be going to bed for real....

The Other Side of Limbo

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 5

The Other Side of Limbo

The sand storm raged until—

That chime.

And my feet trod for nothing.

You can’t go any farther.

I had reached the western edge of my map.

So I turned south.

The storm continued to rage all around me, blotting out sun and moon, the wind howling, the grit flying horizontal across my path. On and on and on I jogged through the murk, shouldering off to the right every once in a while just to make sure I was still on the border, still on the edge.

My Sheikah Slate had lost functionality again; it was impossible to tell how far I had gone or how far there was left to go. All I had to guide me was that bumping chime to my right side—not that it was too difficult to move in roughly a straight line.

It seemed to go on forever.... just wind and Stalmoblins and dust and more wind and a few lonely animals and more Stalizalfos and—“NOT THE KEESE, NOT THE KEESE!”

I ran whenever I saw them.

Well.... I ran whenever I saw anything. Or nothing.

I just ran.

Was it day or night? I couldn’t tell.

There was a shape to my left. Roundish, humping obtrusive out of the fuzzy horizon. What was this....?

I slowed, and edged closer....

It was a skull-den. And there was at least one tower flanking it, with a Bokoblin on top, keeping a weather eye on—its invisible surroundings.

And I think it’s only now that I’m reminded of the morning of Thursday, January 9, 2003. But that is another story.

I traced the Bokoblin’s obscured movements through the sand, and stayed just deep enough away in the storm that he did not see me as I circled round to the back of their camp.

They never guard the backs.

I shinnied up the rear of the skull, and crouched low before sniping the two lookouts. The wind and the desert devoured their remains and there was no reclaiming them. Tsch!

Thereafter I stood to drop bombs through one of the eye-holes. The wind made this tricky, but with a little trial and error I found a good position, and watched as the life-meters below me reacted, converged, and were blown in all directions, over and over again.... I played this game until they were all dead, and thankfully, the bits leftover were less blustered and more contained inside the den.

I didn’t have room for the actual treasure inside the chest, though.

Oh well.

I harvested what I could from the Limbo Den, and made my way back from nothing to nothing; I hit the border, and started skirting southward again.

The air was a shifting array of dull colors all mashing together, darker beneath, lighter above. Somewhat.

Thank goodness for these Sand Boots at least....

I jogged.... and jogged.... and jogged....

And there was another shape to my left.

This one was.... geologically improbable. A great dark bow loomed from some large mass on the right, and arced unsupported through the air to the left, pointing north.

That had to be—BUT FIRST—

I hurried. Further southward. More creatures, more critters, Lizalfos burrowing through the sand.... I bumped to the right again—the border was still there—and then came the same abrupt chime—and I was brought to a halt.

I had come to the farthest point.

I had reached the corner.

So had the Lizalfos.

I cut them down, and the leftover bits rolled away unreachable in the gale. I might have been able to grab a talon or something....

The big shape with the bowhead still loomed darker than the surrounding grit. I could have approached it from this new angle, but.... instead I followed the western edge of the world back north, until I was even with the bow again. And I stepped eastward out of the storm....

As the air cleared, the great skull came into view. The bow-shape resolved into the enormous upper jaw, the entirety of it from cranium to nose-tip longer and thinner and more streamlined than that of the other Leviathan had been, the one on the volcano. That one had been broader, heavier-looking, more armored, like some giant horny toad.

But this one looked a proper whale. And the entire skeleton was smooth and bleached, whereas the other had been so weathered and darkened that in places it looked more like stone.

And there was another difference—round about where the scapulae might be, the long bones of some right-side limb jutted up from the spine at a high angle—sticking right up into the sky!

What in the—?

Was this . . . .

Was this a WINDFISH?

The mouth was open, the lower jaw buried deep into the sand. And—there was something—

There was a Gerudo! Kneeling directly before the open mouth as if in prayer to a deity.... she was so tiny before it....

Who....?

I approached her.

It was Barta.

“Barta!” The one who had been imprisoned before!

“Ugh,” she groaned, “Are you... a fairy? An angel? Are you here to guide my passage?”

She wasn’t kneeling out of awe or respect; she was clinging onto her spear for dear life, resting in the shade of the bowheaded jaw. “...Everything’s going hazy... This might be the end...”

“Snap out of it!” I said.

But she only moaned, “Ahh... If only I could’ve eaten a hearty durian one last time... A hearty durian... A hearty durian...”

I spoke to her again.

“Ahh, spirits of the Goddess... Before you take me from this world, if I could just taste fruit... Just one last bite of a hearty durian...”

And here I was given two choices of response, and I laughed at the cruel polarity: “Take this!” or “Good-bye.”

“Take this!” I said, and the screen blacked out and back in.

Barta stood on her feet now. “Hah... I’ve returned from the brink of death thanks to you...” she gasped, “Sarqso!”

Then she saw me more clearly—“Huh? Is that you I spoke to before? So you are actually a voe... I thought you were a bit muscular for a Hylian vai.”

XD

“But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I owe you my life, after all!”

Ah, so many Gerudo ladies who’d found me out already. Felt kinda nice to be real.

“Hah... Anyway,” Barta continued, “I’m totally exhausted. Maybe I’ll rest just a little longer then head home.”

I was given only one response to say: “Your boss was MAD.” It was not untrue. Liana and her other subordinates.... had been quite agitated the last time I’d seen them in the barracks.

“Huh? So...they knew I snuck off...”

I nodded.

“...Oh, I am in such trouble...” Barta muttered under her breath. “Yep, looks like I’d better go on ahead. See you later and sav’orq!”

And the screen blacked out again, and when it came back, Barta had gone.

Is sav’orq another form of thanks? Or is it perhaps an expression of farewell? Someone else had said it to me when I’d turned down some business or other. But if that’s what it were, then Barta would have been repeating herself. Does it regard rather the time of day?

Hmm.

I hoped she wouldn’t catch it too bad from Liana. Then again, maybe that would have been good for her.

I turned to check out the skeleton—the shrine beneath it and near to the skull was called the Hawa Koth Shrine, and it was the awesomest shrine ever, with much electricity and GIANT GEARS to play with.... It was like the sparky younger cousin of Kaam Ya’Tak....

But that wasn’t what interested me the most.

After I’d locked down the warpable, I turned to the large, thrumming, pulsing cocoon a stone’s cast down-whale....

There was a FAIRY FOUNTAIN BENEATH THIS THING.

....

AND THE GREAT FAIRY TERA WANTED TEN THOUSAND RUPEES?

. . . .

Oh boy....

. . . . . . .

And I was.... just about skint-broke....

. .  .   .    .     .      .

I needed to go make me some cash.

Journey to Toruma

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 4

Journey to Toruma

More Koroks.

More Guardians.

All around the wetlands and up the Sahasra Slope....

I was a little beyond the Pit when I saw the red moon rising....

“Dang it it’s a Blood Moon!” I warped to Satori Mountain and scrambled near enough to its top as fast as I could.

“What?” David asked, confused at my agitation.

But I had already launched off toward Washa’s Bluff.

My paraglide.... could not be fast enough.

“I’m not gonna make it,” I moaned.

“Not gonna make what?” said David. I don’t think he knows about that shrine....

The air began to redden as I was still sailing, approaching the bluff’s edge.

“I’m not gonna make it....”

“What are you trying to do?”

I hit the grass and the strange music began to weep and howl and unholy smoke dripped up into the air—I could see the dais—it was glowing—I was sprinting—the Piano was rumbling—I was almost there—

And the vision started and Zelda’s voice sounded in warning and I came back to the present and the dais went dark and....

I had missed it.

Dang it.

I traveled back to where I had been, shooing up Koroks around a lake southeast of the Pit. I got a few more of them before attempting to swim upriver toward Kakariko Bridge. But the current was stronger than one would think, for just running into a little dead-ended lake like that.

I couldn’t quite make it, even in full Zora Armor....

Just before I ran out of stamina, I warped out of my predicament to the nearby Dueling Peaks Stable, and thought.

I’d already done some shopping to find bits for the Great Fairies to work with.... but I hadn’t seen Hestu in a while. What could he do for me? I had certainly collected a lot of seeds since I’d last seen him.

I warped to Korok Woods to have a visit. But he could offer me no more room for bows. I didn’t want any more shields just now, and another slot for a weapon was still too expensive.

Poop.

I climbed up the Deku Tree’s giant roots and into the Navel; a Korok named Peeks had been waiting for me to show him a pictograph of a Blupee. I did, and he liked that. He liked it to the tune of a hundred rupees, to be precise.... and I liked that.

The day was only just dawning, and so I slept in Pepp’s bed until noon, at which point I decided I had been meandering around long enough.

At noon, I warped to the Sand Seal Rally in the desert.... and started walkin’.

I was going to find Dragon’s Exile.

“Only those who have walked through the desert can truly know its size.” The line from a certain, ah.... Bellena, from Skies of Arcadia, immediately came to mind.

I’d started in a fairly westward direction. The dunes stretched endlessly before me, melting into a blinding ruddybeige haze and rippling in the heat. Fortunately my upgraded Desert Voe Gear was enough to deal with the temperature. I could wander anywhere down here....

The sandscape was not devoid of obstacles, however. There were Lizalfos galore, and more often than not I found myself wearing my mask to keep them at bay. The real trouble came when the Lizalfos began taking up with other breeds of baddies, for I could only wear one mask at a time.

At a giant ribcage I had to stay out of sight up on top of the spine whilst I dropped bombs on a gang of Moblins. But once the Moblins were gone, I had no trouble floating down and looting the place completely. Lizalfos still frozen in sandy-colored camouflage watched me from four feet away, movement betrayed only in their gleaming eyes as I cracked into their treasure chests and carried on my way.

A long jog later, at a tunneled rock formation set low into the sand, I had to hide again while lobbing Bomb Arrows at a small troop of Bokoblins. Some well-placed boomers helped a great deal at the opening volley. But man, that one Black Bokoblin kept wandering off, and took forever to bring down.

But afterward, my mask was enough once again to walk freely among the remaining Lizalfos.

Dusk fell, the sand became a wash of purple-green and grey, and I had to switch from my Headband to my Ruby Circlet.

The desert was truly vast.

In the cool of the night I encountered two men tangling with a couple of Bokoblins, and I dashed in to give them a hand.... but the nighttime came with its own added challenges.

I saw the tiny, crackling, flapping shapes descending fast upon me—“NOT THE KEESE, NOT THE KEESE!”—and immediately ran to put some distance between us. I still had not forgotten that Electric Keese in the rain outside the Honeydell. My GOSH what an ordeal that had been....

From a greater distance I was able to drop the little fiends with my bow, and take care of the Bokoblins. But I rather lost sight of the two men. I ran back toward where I had seen them, near a couple of lonesome palm trees, and I found them standing easily.

They offered me no goodies, though. Seemed I’d run so far away, the game had depopulated them.

Ah well, that was all right. But dang, that Silver Bokoblin could hit.

In the end I could only suffice myself with the said Bokoblin’s weapon—a Trilizal Boomerang with an added attack-bonus like crazy.

At length I came to a long, low shelf in the bedrock, maybe a little taller than I was; the topo lines were gentle here. Toruma Dunes was the name of this place. I jogged along the edge on the upper part, and in the lower portion, out some score yards and burrowing around in a circle in the sand, was a Molduga.

There was something.... peculiar.... about its path....

I didn’t want to get close and I did not want it to sense me down in its own element. But there was something there.... I was sure of it. The Molduga was going round and round within the confines of four small, jutting stone formations, and these formations seemed to share a kind of radial symmetry with each other. Equally distanced.

And I could see on one stone, there was a small, dark shape. I couldn’t quite make out what it was, but....

I needed to get closer.

I dropped onto the lower sands when the beast was farthest away in its tiny circuit. Uhuh, it was terrible approaching it! My steps were slow and light and even, but how long would I be able to flout the Molduga’s superior senses?

In the end I curved wide until I had centered one of the stone formations between the Molduga and me.... and then made a mad dash for it.

I made it onto the stone without incident, and the Molduga continued on its course.

You know I think it may actually have been much smaller than that Molduga I had killed for Malena....

Huh.

But I didn’t wonder about it for long. The object I had seen on the stone stood plain before me now: it was a brazier. And I could see on the stones to my left and right, more braziers waiting to be lit. I assumed the one across from me had one as well—they were situated on the outward-facing edges.

But I couldn’t very well light them up with this brute in the way....

So I drew it up with normal arrows, and blew it up with Bombs.

....That has a nice ring to it. Time to write a song stop rhyming.

With the Molduga dead I was free to light the braziers, and when all four of them were lit, up in the center came the Tho Kayu Shrine.

Excellent.

The Measure of Creation

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 3

The Measure of Creation

That light—it was definitely a fallen star. If I could just get to where it was in time....

I ran along the high southern bank, rushing for a better view.... There! It was in the wetlands. A warp to the shrine there, a dash through the shallow water.... and it was mine.

Yes!

I looked about me. It had been a while since I’d visited the wetlands. And I was still short on Lizalfos tails....

I hunted them as the day was long.

[Masks are SO handy!]

Still, the element of surprise could only help me so much when it was a Silver Lizalfos. For there were silver ones now, and they were exceptionally strong.

But one good thing I noticed was that these new silver ones were much more willing to part with their tails upon defeat! Excellent. And so I very slowly began to regain my supply....

I was using the Master Sword more and more. And it wasn’t always pristine, and sometimes its power faded completely, and I had to let it rest and breathe.

But I was using it.

I was letting it fulfill its purpose.

And that was all right.

When I couldn’t find any more Lizalfos to fight, I turned once again to the loose Guardian Stalker, donning my double-upgraded Ancient Armor on the approach....

And when I killed it this time.... I wasn’t sure if it was just me, or if it was my armor’s Ancient Proficiency perk at play.... but it seemed that the defeated Guardian dropped more ancient parts than usual. Including a core!

I wonder.... Is that what the Ancient Proficiency did?

I continued to wander all over the wetlands, finding a few more Lizalfos sequestered here and there, scaring up more Koroks, and discovering that the giant water buffalo grazing around were most definitively unrideable. I took a few hits from the great brutes in my close-quarter attempts, but that didn’t keep me down for long. I was bolder than I had been before. Very much so. In my brazen meanderings I even killed the red Hinox before its music could even start up. David remarked on this with an incredulous scoff, and I kept my cool like a boss.

I also began to put into practice one more secret the Master Sword held. Actually I don’t think I would ever have discovered it had the loading screen not mentioned it in passing.

I don’t often throw my weapons, see.

But if you used the same button that would throw any other weapon, with the Master Sword in your hand.... and if you happened to have full hearts and health....

Well, I suppose the result would just stand to reason! for anybody familiar with the Zelda Universe. For myself it was only a surprise until I thought about it for a moment.

I stood at full power, and swung my sword, swung the Master Sword as if to throw it.... and out shot a swirling blue-white bolt of my own! 8D

How far it could travel before disippating depended on how many hearts I had.

But DANG! XD

It was so awesome to fire lasers.

At one point, employing the projected energy to break open ore deposits, I thought I had solved the problem of ever damaging another hammer again. But even without making physical contact, using the laser still sapped the sword’s strength.

I had run it clean out of energy twice now....

Huh.

Well that mechanic never came up in previous games.

Ah well.

When the wetlands were quite empty I decided to take a break on the Hinox’s island, and take a few pictographs of my various weapons for the Compendium.

The Master Sword wasn’t the only thing running out of juice; I puttered around a little further, cleaned out a little cave I found of some treasure....

Hm, perhaps the controller battery was feeling a bit lowly, too.

I took a break.

I went to the fridge and took out the very last bit of Mary’s cake that I had reserved for myself and no one else—it had been my birthday after all.

I had a seat at the table with a nice glass of milk.... and ate the Triforce.

It was delicious.

Beyond Cotera's Forest

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 2

Beyond Cotera’s Forest

It was raining in Cotera’s Forest.

Where did I want to go next?

I looked at my map.

Huh.... the back way out of Cotera’s Forest, away from Kakariko Village, appeared to connect to that high field where I had first met Kass. I hadn’t been able to solve his riddle back then, or perhaps I had only been too distracted looking for Mei. A beast with a crown of bone....

I had never been beyond Cotera’s Forest before. I could see that the path connected to other places.... Places I meant to visit eventually. Places that seemed too momentous for any sort of casual approach.

But one fork in the road seemed like it would be enough to keep me out of too much trouble there.

I started.

And frightened the deer that were grazing back here, as I’d done so many times before.

Cotera’s copse of trees ended fairly quickly, and the stone of the mountain began to rise high on either side of the way—it was suddenly and very much a road now. In fact the name of it gleamed across the top of my screen. The place was called Lanayru Road ~ West Gate.

Everything was grey.

I came to the fork in a trice. Straight on and bending a bit to the right was the way to that inner lake I was so keen to visit and avoid at the same time. I didn’t want to go that way. Bending to the left was the way to Rabia Plain, where Kass was waiting. And right at the fork, a little off the road, stood a man. He was gazing hard into the right-hand fork....

I went to speak to him.

Traveler....

I’d figured. But.... well, a Hero has to check.

“About a year ago,” he started, “I was walking along this road, when I saw a bright light up in the sky. I looked at it, and couldn’t look away, and then I was surrounded by light... And when I came to, I was in bed. What do you think of that?”

“Sounds like a dream,” I told him as my only response. As Yiga thugs went, I kinda liked this one. At least he made politely open conversation.

“A dream, huh?” he said, “Well, the bed I woke up in wasn’t my bed. It was a hollow bed full of water, and in one corner of the empty room was a glowing device. And I took the glowing device in my hand... and when I came to I was here.”

He looked at me again, a subtle smirk on his face this time. “What do you think of that?”

“That’s... um...”

But before I could say anything more, the Piano dripped like icy water down my spine, and the man dropped his pretense and shouted, “FOR MASTER KOHGA!”

The fight was on, but the biggest worry on my mind was A year? What did he mean by a year? Did the game sense my meandering around and wasting time? What did it mean?

I killed the Yiga Clansman, and took his.... Demon Carver; now that was a mean-lookin’ blade. I didn’t have room for it in my inventory at first, until I remembered to throw out that freakin’ Stalmoblin arm.... Must’ve picked it up in the Gerudo Highlands....

I regarded the gate to the Lanayru Road.... and turned and headed to Rabia Plain instead.

The road opened up onto a lush and placid field.... Pausing only to visit with a cool-looking blonde guy named Eryck at his campfire beneath a tree, I continued north toward Kass’ hill.

There were a heckton of deer wandering around.... But I decided to talk with Kass first, just to let him sing the song again. He did. And after this I went and found a good, strong buck with a handsome rack.... and jumped on.

It really was nice having as much stamina as I did. The buck leapt and sounded its strange, piping call, but I soon soothed him into submission. He seemed so much bigger now that I was on his very back.... and he looked so regal! I urged him into a stately walk toward the Sheikah dais near which Kass stood.

Similar to the bear, when the deer was at a walk, it moved remarkably slowly. Hesitantly, I gave it a little spur—and it sprang into a high-tailed bounding! Gallup would just be too common a word for it. Ah, such a wonderful and majestic beast.

I rode him around the field for a bit before finally steering him toward the dais and slowing him to a walk. And when the beast with a crown of bone mounted this Sheikah throne.... the Mezza Lo Shrine rumbled up out of the hill.

I walked the deer back toward his fellows before releasing him.

Ancient Trifecta was the name of the shrine’s challenge.... which gave me a giggle for reasons only a few I know could appreciate.

I completed the challenge, accepted the monk’s Spirit Orb, and when I stepped back outside around five in the afternoon, the day.... was just so lovely. The sunlit sky over the river and beyond, and the Divine Beast Vah Ruta in the distance, were so beautiful behind the shrine.... that I took a pictograph.

It’s a good one. Gorgeous.

Frozen Goods

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018

Frozen Goods

I slept at Outskirt Stable until morning, and when I woke up, it was raining.

From there I warped to Cotera to get an idea of what I needed—in essence, to have a look at my shopping list.... White Chuchus and Ice Keese Wings. Those would strengthen my new Desert Voe Gear. Cool. Well I knew just where to look for those....

And I warped to a shrine in the eastern Gerudo Highlands, just beyond the Death Hole Arena.... and started walking westward.

The frilled backs of camouflaged Lizalfos humped out of the snow in blatant arches; I dunno who they were trying to fool. I killed them and collected.... hhhh.... their icy white tails—I wished the normal ones would drop tails for me so readily.

There weren’t very many White Chuchus to go on, but I did find a few Ice Keese as I meandered over the icy plateaus. There were also quite a few treasure chests stuck in the frozen ground up here. I guess since it was such a harsh environment.... hardly anybody had ever come a-looting.

Some sights were familiar, some were new.... and then I came to that giant Lightning Symbol. I had seen it from many directions at many distances, bur now I walked along the shelf at its very foot. It was carved or painted, or both, into the stark red stone of the naked cliff, at least fifty feet above me. At the heart of the radial design was a Sheikah dais....

Along the cliff’s bottom, about a half a stone’s cast to the right, an icy Lizalfos watched me as I started to climb. I decided I would leave him be as long as he wasn’t raising any ruckus.

The way was slow, and I think.... I was not able to employ my Climber’s Bandana—I needed my Ruby Circlet to ward away the cold.

Either that or I just forgot. Like I do sometimes.

It seems I’ve become a man of many hats.

I climbed all the way to the upturned dais, and though I had a decent amount of stamina left, I nevertheless tested whether the tiny shelf of rounded stone would support me.

It wouldn’t.

I clung like a spider to the red, snow-dampened wall, swiveling the camera about me at the views. It was simply a Sheikah dais, turned up sideways and set into the heart of this.... lightning motif. The painted bolts stuck out in four distinct directions.... mmmm Skies of Arcadia woulda had five....

Shock Arrows.

I concentrated before jumping—sometimes I only let go when I mean to leap—and in midair I drew my bow, twisted back round, took aim, and snapped a spattering, zapping bolt of crackling electricity right into the dais.

On the shelf below, the Keeha Yoog shrine erupted from the snow, and I received the monk’s blessing.... as well as a completion notification to an either unwarranted or completely forgotten shrine quest. When had I spoken to this “Geggle”....?

Well that’s embarrassing I mean usually I take such note....

When I exited the shrine, the Lizalfos was gone.

I continued westward until with a shock I realized I had reached the northern end of that saddle—the Risoka Snowfield it was called. I found where the little Taluses had guarded the Meteor Rod, but the chest had not respawned.

Well.... no worries there; I still had the weapon.

I still hadn’t gotten enough White Chuchu Jelly, though. I fished for them all over the snowfield, tangling with Lizalfos, with Bokoblins, with wolves, with no blasted shortage of stalmoblins.... with all kinds of things.

And then I checked out that skull-den....

I don’t like to venture into those if I can help it. I’d much rather draw the fiends out of the structure to play. But I was surprised when I drew near to this one’s mouth and saw that it was empty anyway. Empty save for one solitary chest in the middle of the space....

Huh.

I approached the chest and HALF A DOZEN WHITE CHUCHUS EXPLODED OUT OF THE GROUND. Huaghh. Gave me a start I tell YOU what.

But when I had recovered from the shock, as I backed up from their freezing attacks, I grinned to myself—these were just what I needed....

I killed them all and turned over a plentiful supply of White Chuchu Jelly. And by this time, I had gotten my fill of Keese wings, too.

Satori Mountain was alight. For kicks, I warped to it, subdued the Lord of the Mountain, and rode him to the Outskirt Stable. Here I dismounted and tried once again to take its picture, being careful to keep it in my view the entire time. But evidently even just raising the pictobox counted as looking away from it; it snorted, galloped away a few paces and vanished.

Ah that was all right.

I knew where it lived.

I had my frozen goods; it was time to visit Cotera. She raised my Radiant Outfit one level—when had I picked up those Luminous Stones?—and she upgraded my Desert Voe outfit to level two. And two levels of course meant the outfit got a perk.... and the Desert Voe perk.... was shock-damage resistance.

Well wouldn’t THAT have been nice! |D