The Fleeting Career of Mr. Jingles

Waking of Saturday, November 10, 2018

The Fleeting Career of Mr. Jingles

I WAS GONNA GET THAT STALHORSE!

I set out from the Snowfield Stable in the morning, and fortunately it took me all day to climb the mountain, kill the baddies on top and find and suffice that golf-Korok. And when the world went dark, I sailed down past the Lynel toward the maze and.... there were no stalhorses there.

I dashed past the Lynel and back to the snowfield. No stalhorses anywhere.

Um.

“Where’d you see it, David?”

“By the maze.”

Huh.

Okay.

I slipped back past the Lynel ONE MORE TIME.... And found a stalhorse. Excellent. I knocked off its rider, tamed it, and took it back to the stable....

And as ever and always, the stablehand at the counter blindly asked if I wanted to register my new mount.

“Yes!” Oh please oh please oh please.... XD I was already thinking of possible names, and for some reason could not banish the thought of calling him “Mr. Jingles”....

“Uh,” the stablehand pulled up short, “that’s a monster, not a horse!”

Dang it! XD

“I’m sorry but we can’t board that... thing, here. It might eat the other horses.”

XD Well, couldn’t say I hadn’t been expecting that response....

I tried to interact with the skeletal horse for a while. The other residents were certainly reacting to him already, the people starting in shock at the sight of him, and the dog darting away in fear.

I dropped some carrots on the ground, but the stalhorse ignored them. Next, reminding myself just a bit of Harry Potter, I tried some meat. The stalhorse ignored this too. But the dog didn’t. He came hopefully padding up to where it lay on the ground, but I picked up the treat before he could get it, and he bounded away again.

I didn’t know what else to do, and so simply remounted and walked in sedate meanderings for a while, admiring the lightening scenery about the stable. I stayed with Mr. Jingles until the sun came up, whereupon he bucked me off.... and died.

David was horrified at the sight and sound of it.

I was just another horse short.

Ah well.

The Rigours of Horsemanship

Waking of Saturday, October 13, 2018

The Rigours of Horsemanship

In the Deku Tree’s Navel I cooked me up some stamina-replenishing meals. Mmf! Mighty fine eatin’. Endura Shrooms. Good stuff. I didn’t want to find myself in dire straights on any bare cliff faces again.

After that it was a warp to the Highland Stable. More often than not I always went everywhere on foot, but now.... I wanted to do that equestrian obstacle course. Because I wanted to be a better rider. Ever since I’d heard of it I’d always thought to come back and give it a try some time....

No time like the present.

And after only the minor distraction of running the very longest Korok race I think I’d ever seen.... I came back, bypassing all the mounted Bokoblins in the field, and got to the stable.

One lady inside had a sidequest available: Horseback Hoodlums.

Evidently those mounted Bokoblins were making life difficult for travelers on the road. It wasn’t that hard to believe.

So back onto the field I went. I attracted all of their attentions while wearing my Bokoblin Mask, and drew them in close until they were walking their horses in one foul, leering circle around me. Out came my sword; I charged up for a spin-attack....

And one shot of Urbosa’s Fury took them all out. Completely.

Didn’t expect it to work all the way to death in just one hit.

Oh, and Sorry, horses.

But they seemed to be all right.

Mission completed, I went back to the stable. The lady gave me a Swift Carrot for my troubles, and told me that horses love them. “Really!”

So I fed a.... gosh I didn’t have a lot of Swift Carrots.... I fed an Endura Carrot to Brown. Aww, he liked that. I’d never dropped food for my horses before. :)

And then I turned to Blynne. The man behind the obstacle course. It was twenty rupees a pop, and all I had to do was jump my mount over ten gates. And stay on my horse. Otherwise the run would be over!

Blynne’s time was a minute and fifteen seconds; he told me to try for a minute-thirty. If I could beat that he’d give me a prize....

It was.... much more difficult than it looked. I knew theoretically that a galloping horse wouldn’t be able to turn on a dime. But it was difficult to actually command my mount through its various speeds, while on the move. And while trying to HURRY.

It was good practice at least. Good, irritating, infuriating, diabolical PRACTICE....

Blynne gave me a carrot for every attempt between 1:30 and 2:00 anyway, which was nice. And you know.... I do believe.... those carrots gave extra whip-cracks to my horse! Extra speed-bursts. If only temporarily. Huh....

It took a few tries, but when I finally beat a minute-thirty, Blynne gave me the Extravagant Bridle. Oh my gosh it had a feather springing from the crown....

But OHH-HO-HO-HOHH it was only the bridle—what a delicious tease—I wanted the complete set! And for that, I would have to beat Blynne’s time of 1:15.

Oh boy....

I ran the course. And ran it. And ran it backwards. And ran it forwards. And failed. And kept missing gates. And Brown kept refusing. And sometimes, fed up with irrecoverable time loss once again I would HOP DOWN from the saddle just to get Blynne to blow the whistle so the run would be over and I could try again that much sooner, even though I KNEW, from watching that adorable show Silver Spoon on Flixnet, that that was a bad idea, and that giving up mid-run like that would discourage and emotionally scar any real horse!

But I did it anyway. GADS if you weren’t lined up PERFECTLY PERPENDICULAR to the gate on your approach....

PRACTICE. IT WAS ALL GOOD PRACTICE.

I tried and tried and TRIED and tried and tried until FINALLY.... I did it in 1:08.

Blynne was shocked! “I never thought I’d see the day...”

“Me neither,” I said.

But Blynne said he’d better live up to his word, and he gave me the Extravagant Saddle.

Ah I had them both. And they do look extravagant!

I gave Brown so many carrots then. “Good boy,” I praised him, “Good boy, Good boy, WHOOZAGOODBOYYY???”

But even after all that.... the Extravagant Tack just didn’t really suit him.

I tried it on Memory, and the effect was pretty good, but.... honestly he just looked embarrassed.

Hmmmm if I had a big, pure black horse... maybe.... yeah....