The Entry With No Point

Evening of Friday, January 5, 2018

The Entry With No Point

Chasing Koroks sufficed to wear my Flameblade down to nothing until it broke, whereupon I could finally raid the Silver Bokoblin’s treasure chest—a Knight’s Claymore, I think. A fine weapon. Though I do like the one-handed blades.... they are faster. I feel like I can never find enough of those....

Back at the Riverside Stable I took out Brown and rode him all the way back to the Gerudo Canyon Stable.

I thought it miraculous that no one called for rescue along the way.

And we galloped right past the Hinox—I’d been tiptoeing round him up ‘til then. We were too fast for him to give us any trouble, and when we stopped to look behind, it was only to see him flop enormously back onto the ground for another nap. David and I chuckled....

In Gerudo Canyon I finally caved to the sidequest and decided I would gather rushrooms for that old man—Pirou was his name.

The rushrooms were plentiful near the stable, but it wasn’t too much of a chore to find a few more higher up. My climbing for them took me all over, right up to where I swear I’d been before, just before I came to The Tallest Tower.

I was quite high up by the time I’d collected at least fifty-six of them (the old man wanted fifty-five, but I wanted to keep my inventory oriented as it was). And from my altitude I could see a strange little rash of vegetation across the canyon, the green stark against the beige, on one of the great shelves of land leading up to the Wasteland Tower.

Baobabs.

The distance was vast but I managed to paraglide to the shelf just shy of the little copse, and then climbed up to see what I could see.

And what I saw was Guardians—

Paused and switched the sensor to detect Decayed Guardians—

....

Nothing.

There was no beeping.

These Guardians were truly dead.

I was safe.

Or was I?—there was movement over there—

But it was only a Lizalfos.

That was easy enough to deal with; on went my mask and I hunched over, head twitching and bird-like.

But I quickly found that even Kilton’s handiwork wasn’t enough to protect me from the blasted penetrating curiosity of a baddie..... when that baddie was an Electric Lizalfos.

It came close and when its sputtering, fritzing, zapping horn touched me—

Well it hurt more than my feelings, I’ll tell you that.

And so trying to avoid all the friendly advances, in the guise of a lizard I salvaged all I could from the remains of the dead Guardians—and one of them gave me gears!

Excellent.

I wanted to explore further—I even managed to kill one or two of the Electric Lizalfos, and there was a small troop of Moblins further up the hill I wanted to visit, but.... when the Blood Moon started coming on.... I decided it was probably better that I just go. I had the old man’s rushrooms; it was time to paraglide back.

The midnight vision happened to strike me in mid-flight, almost directly above the stable.

It’s strange, when you’re up in the air and well away from anything and thus assured in the knowledge that you are safe.... and yet when all that air around you turns so vivid blood red....

I enjoyed the novelty of the occurrence but it was a little like floating tiny and alone and naked under the gaze of Sauron.

When the vision had passed, I quickly dropped altitude and gave Pirou his blasted rushrooms.

Fifty-five bleedin’ rushrooms they take too long to gather....

And Pirou gave me a diamond in return.

....

Well I guess that was.... swell of him.

Not worth it.

The Big Dang Horse

Waking of Saturday, October 28, 2017 ~ 4

The Big Dang Horse

What had commandeered my attention after I set my controller down to charge....? Probably just the necessaries of life.

I came back and found that my lonely WiiU had gone to sleep.

Rats! I hadn’t found a proper saving point!

I restarted it all back up....

And I was on Satori Mountain.

The glowing beast wasn’t there. But the Korok I scared up was.... some consolation I suppose.

I went back to the Outskirt Stable. Probably. I let myself play too far and too long without logging—it gets hard to remember—

Suffice it to say that the sirens played havoc in my head again and I was off to the Great Plateau.

They say Hylians have long ears to hear the voices of the Gods.

I think when I play it’s more like hearing the call of attention deficit disorder.

Hm, or since he’s the avatar, and I’m the player, does that make me the God? He does so readily obey my every whim.... though I allow him the moments that must be lived one way and no other.

But let’s not get too meta just here.

The rain was pouring on the Stasis Shrine, but through the din I could still hear the mean, scruffling sounds of stal-creatures clawing up out of the earth and wishing to do me ill.

Not wanting to deal with them I ran toward the first empty edge I could see and jumped off into the cacophonous, blustering night.

I couldn’t see anything for the rain. Just dim looming shapes in the distance—mountains and hills. I had to consult my map to orient myself.

I wanted back in the Lynels’ Corridor.

I had unfinished business there.

Maybe it was that I had finally taken my horses out and showed them a little bit of love. Ah, my sweet babies.... I like to keep them locked up safe and sound—no telling what we might encounter out in the world. I didn’t want anything to happen to them.

Mm but they were still my proud and wonderful beasts, and I still liked to ride the roads with them.

And there had been that Mohawk mane style....

....

There was only one animal in the world for which that style would be so.... singularly and definitively befitting.

I touched down in the grasslands and jogged quickly toward the baobabs—there were wolves about and I didn’t need their attentions right now.

Presently the herd came into view. But.... they all looked the same. Five or six animals, milling around, cropping the grass.... All the same size.

Where was the big one?

Off to my right, right against the western mountain, one more dark horse pawed unconcernedly about. Fine place for it to stand when I was trying to compare them all.

I was sure it was the one from before—deep black body and a flaming orange mane and tail—but I wanted to make extra sure. I headed toward it, scooting round the baobabs in a fine game of ring-around-the-rosie until I was able to cow it back toward its fellows.

It joined up with them smoothly enough, droplets of water cleaving together. But was it all the way into their midst? The screen gave me no depth perception. The dark one still stood out big among the herd, and I was too far away to tell clearly—Was it larger for its size? Or for its nearness?

A littler horse walked in front of it.

Oh yeah, that was the big one.

And now that I had more stamina, I wanted to try it again.

And the slow chase was on.

I crouched down and crept carefully up behind it, freezing when it turned, pausing as long as I needed, closer and closer.... The other horses snorted and cantered away if they saw me, but my only concern was the Dark One.

Careful not to come up directly behind it—didn’t want a kick in the face, not from that one—I came close to its right flank.... and hopped on.

The thing jumped and bucked as I patted and soothed it frantically—my legs were spread wide over its huge barrel trunk—and my stamina began to burn away. I had much more of it this time, but it was going down fast.

But a quick look into my pockets showed me my stock of stamina dishes and elixirs—I used them all—and on the dregs of the very last one....

The Dark Horse stamped itself into a huff, and stood still beneath me.

I’d got it!

What a BEAST he was! Strong, and proud, and beautiful. I walked him back and forth, here and there, patting his neck, trotting him, reassuring him, soothing him and murmuring sweet sounds beneath the baobabs.

Hahhh! When I got this beauty back to a stable I’d—

And then I saw the problem.

The northern end of the Lynel’s Corridor is a box canyon. To the north is the towering wall of the Great Plateau. To the west, the red tiers of the Gerudo Highlands. To the east, the lush but steep mountain range bordering the lake.

The only way out of this place was southward, past not one but two Lynels, and a small battalion of mounted Bokoblins.

Touché, Nintendo. Touché.

There was no way I was attempting that on a steed that had anything less than complete trust in me. I couldn’t afford any refusals.

And so I continued trotting the Dark One back and forth, back and forth, round and round, again and again, now stopping, now starting, now sprinting, now stepping, always assuring him with pats to his neck, but not too many too fast, correcting him quickly, rewarding him fairly, and loving him gently.

He was a giant to be sure, but he seemed to have no energy for bursts of speed. His fastest gallop.... was his only gallop. This had me worried for getting past those Lynels, but.... after a long time of learning and bonding and with nothing else for it.... we turned our heads southward, and plunged down the grassland.

The Lynels were actually.... surprisingly easy to slip past! And they did not pursue us once we were out of their prowling grounds. And with a bit of weaving and dodging, the Bokoblins did not pose much of a threat either!

I pressed the Dark One onward down the road—we weren’t going to stop for anything until I could register this beast!

And we came at length to the Highland Stable, and it was once again that terrible conniption of deciding on a fitting name.

I knew whose horse this had to be descended from. It was obvious. The huge size, the soot-black coat, the mane like a raging fire. The proximity to Gerudo lands.

But to name him after anything having to do with such a figure.... it would be like a swear word. ._.

And yet.... how could I choose anything else? It would feel untrue. Unfaithful.

But truth and faithfulness notwithstanding, did such a figure even deserve any such honor?

This was a real pickle.

....

You know, perhaps his name had already gone down in history a thousand times as the darkest curse a man could utter.

But perhaps his surname.... the second name he took from the time he rode the black horse with the flaming mane.... perhaps that name was and had always been a purely Gerudo device.

And he wasn’t a Gerudo. Not really.

Maybe it was a good, proud name once. A strong Gerudo name.

Maybe it could be again.

I spent my twenty rupees at the stable counter, and I called my gargantuan steed....

Dragmire.

Hylian Sauté

Waking of Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Hylian Sauté

I still didn’t know how to complete the Ishto Soh Shrine properly, but I reloaded and went through it in my own special way again just to extend the life of the bow I’d been using. It was harder that time....

When I’d beaten the shrine I went north along the Lynels’ Corridor, on the west side again. I scaled that little butte I had skirted around, hoping for a Korok or something on top. Unfortunately all there was was a Talus. But I’m getting quite good at taking them down. :)

After that I sailed down to the valley floor. Lynels or no, I was going to make it to the northern end of that corridor, and see what the big deal was.

There was a smattering of very tall baobab trees, some with Koroks in their branches, others with birds’ eggs. I climbed almost every one I came to, both on the lookout for secrets, and wanting to stay high. There were some shapes in the distance. Horselike shapes....

But they weren’t Lynels. As it turned out, they were just horses. And one of them was big.

I got closer. Man that was a BIG dang horse. It was all black except for its flaming red mane and tail.... it kind of reminded me of.... Ganondorf’s horse, actually....

I checked my pockets and found only one semi-decent stamina potion. Hm.

Well, I snuck up on the big horse and tried it without the potion, and he bucked me off straight away. And somehow I didn’t think just that one potion would have helped me stay on. I would have to come back here later....

Big dang horse.... must’ve been what David was so interested in....

The Lynels’ Corridor ran straight into the southern wall of the Great Plateau, and there were two ways I could go from this abrupt end: east, which would take me toward the Lake; or west.... which led into uncharted territory.

I went west.

It was near Digdogg Suspension Bridge, I could see on my map; that river had come right down around the west side of the Plateau. I climbed and looked down on the lands beyond the bridge. The mounted Bokoblins were there again.

I didn’t want to deal with them, but bypassed them over the hills until I came to the shrine I had detected here before: the Jee Noh Shrine. That was a fun time with lasers. Mom saw part of it and couldn’t understand how I could stand it!

I claimed the Spirit Orb and came out. And just a little more jogging brought me to a place I’d seen before.... I’d been around here before.... somewhere.... when I was searching for Mei.

There was a deep canyon, the same I had asked David about, wondering if there were water in the bottom of it. (There hadn’t been.) On the far side of the canyon was Giant Golden Tingle Statue Mountain, a prominent Sheikah Tower standing away in its upper reaches. A tantalizing array of boardwalks and ladders seemed to lead a fairly straightforward course up into those hills....

Mmmm but something made me stay on the near side of the canyon. I don’t know....

Ignoring a nearby Traveler, I started to climb. I followed the canyon, but I stayed on the east side, running into the night.

At one point a Talus grumbled up out of the earth but I didn’t want to bother with it. I kept going north. However it wasn’t long before some Stalmoblins popped up and really insisted that I stop.

I didn’t want to deal with them either, and so just started climbing the cliff to my right. But one of them shot me with an arrow and I fell. Fine then. I killed them all. Of course by that time the Talus had caught up with me, and so I ran back south again. The cliff was gentler there, and I climbed up to the upper shelf.

The Talus didn’t seem to want to go back to bed, so I ended up just bombing it to death. And after collecting its remains I continued on my way.

David turned up, and asked what I was up to.

I told him I’d killed a Talus.

“A Talus?” he said.

“Yeah, my second one today.”

“What?”

“Have you ever killed a Talus?”

He hadn’t.

Well that was just a little gratifying. :)

Ahead of me were three Gorons standing in a row, arms folded. Behind them was some kind of large platform....

“Where are you?” David laughed.

Which was even more gratifying. ^_^

The Gorons’ names were Bayge, Heehl, and Kabetta, and they were accompanied by what sounded like the half-drunken solo trombone cousin of the musical theme from Skyloft.

This was some kind of shrine-challenge, I gathered, and if I could pass some kind of heat-based endurance test, then the shrine would appear.

For the first round we all stepped onto the big platform. It was a round slab of what looked like metal, and its surface bore huge cracks that looked like they came from heat-damage and—worryingly—seemed to glow red.

If you passed out or left the ring, you lost. Last man standing won.

Fair enough.

I stepped up, we got on the platform and the timer started.

We all began to sway and pant.... Bayge was in the middle. He and Heehl had determined scowls on their faces, but Kabetta seemed like a softer fellow.

“Someone’s.... waving....” said Heehl.

What’s he talking about? I wondered.

My hearts began to tick away, like they had on the Lake Tower.

“It’s.... too.... much....” said Kabetta, and he keeled right over.

Ugh, it was so hot.

“Is that.... Grandpa....?” said Heehl, and then he went down.

It was just me and Bayge. He seemed the toughest of the lot.

“Piece of cake,” he grimaced.

Oh great, I thought.

But then Bayge fell over too!

I won! And only lost two hearts. Phewf!

But there was still another part to the challenge. There was another platform. This one was surrounded by enormous flaming bowls on raised stands, and it looked.... molten....

No, I realized, it was only waving like that because of the heat distortions....

Oh gads....

Well, as long as I was here, I thought I’d try it. I did have one fireproofing elixir I got from I don’t remember where—someone had given it to me—but, like I do, I didn’t want to waste it, and so went without.

I jumped up onto the platform and promptly began to smoke.

The cinematic ensued and Bayge asked if I were ready.

He counted down. The clock started.

I ran in hot circles, wooping like Curly.

The bow on my back burst into flames. Then some of my clothes burst into flames. Then more of my clothes burst into flames—my hearts began to burn away much faster—would this damage my very attire?

I jumped off.

Bayge called me out, and I clicked through the dialogue as fast as I could—I wanted to put out those fires! Stop, drop and roll, I thought, stop, drop and roll....

I got through the conversation and then with HORROR I realized.... there was no button to roll! I could jump but I could not roll! D8

So many times in so many Zelda games I had taken it for granted just to be able to roll!

But my clothes eventually stopped burning and I was able to simly unequip the bow.

And after that I just reloaded from the time before I got on the second platform—I didn’t want that damage to my equipment.

I checked the recipe for the fireproofing elixir—one Fireproof Lizard, and a Bokoblin Horn. Easy enough I guessed. But I had never encountered any Fireproof Lizards in my wanderings.

I didn’t use the elixir, but.... only continued on my way. I decided I would just have to come back here later.

But for now I wanted to climb higher and follow this range....

Heavenly Apex . . . Rock Bottom

Waking of Tuesday, May 2, 2017 ~ 3

Heavenly Apex . . . Rock Bottom

Ah, Sheem Dagoze’s was a fun little shrine....

The cliffs certainly were tall here. I ran along the high ledge on the north side—the non-Satori-Mountain side—and headed west. Straaange looking things crossed my periphery, but.... I didn’t stop to investigate. Oddly-shaped trees like gigantic mushrooms, a yammering conglomeration of blue moblins—what in the world were they all so riled up about? I would explore this area more thoroughly another time.

As the river bent toward the south, I eventually ran out of footing and had to paraglide closer to the water’s surface—a big piece of land jutted up like a plateau inside the canyon down there.... But as I jogged across it another stalmoblin popped up to say hello.

I didn’t have time for it, but ran straight to the plateau’s westernmost tip; the stalmoblin left off back by some trees....

I could see the next best place to go if I wanted to maintain this agile altitude—across the river on Mount Satori was another ledge—with.... baobab trees on it?

How interesting.

However, the rain had returned, and with the little plateau’s height, I wasn’t positive I’d be able to make that ledge.... There was a large possibility I’d touch down on the face of the cliff beneath, and I didn’t want to get caught in the rain there and slip.

So I just had to wait it out.

And as I waited, there was little else for me to do but look around: a ruddy, tiered sort of mountain range stood before me, west of the river.

I looked up. Some of its higher bluffs were dusted with snow.

I looked up further.

“WHAT THE—”

Gleaming electric yellow against the night sky, undulating like a jellyfish, long, gargantuan, twining like an enormous snake, four forelegs, two hind, floating on the snowy, cloudy air, passing in such serene slowness for its sheer size—

It was a DRAGON.

I had found David’s Dragon.

I snapped a pictograph, and my Compendium informed me its name was Farosh—a spirit of lightning in the form of a great dragon. Although it meant no ill toward men, it was still very dangerous to approach.

Well—

I—

....

Wow.

My Compendium also mentioned something about the Spring of Courage.

Was the Spring of Courage on top of that tiered mountain range?

Zelda had mentioned a Spring of Courage....

Eventually the rain let up, and I paraglided over to the low riverside cliff on Mount Satori—I’d been wise to wait; I didn’t make the top of the ledge, but had to scramble up from the sheer rock face.

The baobab trees were big and bewildering! I ran through them, following the cliff’s edge until—it disappeared? Suddenly I was running through the bottom of a valley bordered by both Mount Satori and the tiered red mountain range. What just happened?

I turned around and had a careful look into the gorge.

The river seemed to stop.

No, surely this had to be just a land bridge. The river just passed underground for a while—

I floated down—well, fell in, really, after trying to get a better view.

The river really did just stop in a dead end.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

Where the heck was the LAKE?

Rivers didn’t just run out—I had known this ever since Ben had explained it to me way back when I’d shown him my very first fantasy map. I hated having been wrong about something and it was irritating to think of redrawing my map, but at least I then knew some proper geology. DEAD END RIVERS....

“Shut up its Hyrule,” my own ironic voice sounded in my head.

Rivers don’t run out....

I puttered around the bottom for a while—the wind was unnaturally strong, blowing everything in toward this dead end; it was a little creepy. The Korok I found was small consolation for my long journey to nowhere.

Hhhhh.

There was nothing else for it except to start swimming back.

I changed into my Zora Armor; it’d be slow going against the current.