POCKY QUEST

Evening of Wednesday, September 19, 2018 ~ 2

POCKY QUEST

With my sand seal gone there was nothing for it but to continue to where Pokki was on foot. And so consulting my map I set my face toward the Misae Suma Shrine... and hoofed it.

There didn’t seem to be too much between us except for a very, very large sand dune, with three Voltfruit cacti growing at its crest.

I’d seen these all over the map. If not the exact species, then definitely the formation. Three plants growing in a perfectly straight line, the ones on the ends equidistant from the one in the middle. I’ve never yet been able to conjure any Koroks from these phenomena.... But I think I heard once.... do they point to shrines?

I looked at my map again. This set certainly did. The Misae Suma Shrine was just over the last rise of sand. As was Pokki. And Pocky....

I collected the fruit and pressed on.

Pokki said the same things as she slumped facedown over the pedestal. She was done for. This was the end. If only she could have tasted a Noble Pursuit....

Well I knew just where to find those.

I warped back to Gerudo Town, and spoke to Furosa, the barkeep at the canteen. When I asked about the Noble Pursuit, she dismissed me as she had many times before—“Not to a young vai like you,” she said.

“Actually...” I responded. That had been my only option. And when she heard what I had to say....

“Pokki’s collapsed?” Furosa perked up at once. She would happily make Pokki a Noble Pursuit. But there was just one problem.

Noble Pursuits required a great deal of ice.

And Furosa was fresh out.

Well I knew just where to find that, too!

We wanted it done fast, but as Furosa was getting on in years, and couldn’t really move like she used to, I offered to go get some from the Northern Ice House.

So this was the Ice House thing! Ah I love me a good fetchquest.

Furosa said I didn’t need to bring it all the way to town; just to the entrance of the ruins would be far enough. But she warned me—Anche, who manned the Ice House, went to bed early. I could only see her when it was light out.

And my, but the sun was fading fast. Dang it it was already evening....

I booked it as fast as I could to the Ice House, but it was no good—Anche was fast asleep.

Nuts.

I picked Swift Violets off the towering cliffs behind to pass the night.... And when the world began to warm I sailed back down to the Ice House and descended in through the trap door and stood and waited and stared at the sleeping woman like an impatiently hungry cat. Wake up, sleepyhead!

She finally did, at seven in the morning.

When I spoke to her, she said what she normally said, some variant of, “Hi I’m Anche and I man this place 24/7.”

Hah! You mean 12/7....

“Actually...” I said in what was once again my only available response. And I related the plight....

“Well if Furosa needs ice you’d better take it to her,” she said, “You are free to take some ice. You took the heat into account, right? If you move too slowly, the ice will melt.”

And it hit me like a ton of pounds why I could only speak to Anche in the daylight hours. Nintendo, you sneaky....

Well, I had Sand Boots, the Heat Spaulder, and my Lizalfos Mask. I could handle this just fine....

The screen blacked out and in again, and I stood holding a huge block of ice over my head.

And it was GO TIME.

I strode out toward the ruins—I couldn’t move very fast under the weight of this block.... But I had no worries about the Lizalfos. They only chirruped in surprise at my appearance and attempted to make friendly conversation.

BUT FUROSA SAID NOTHING ABOUT BOKOBLINS; WHERE DID THESE GUYS COME FROM? I knew it wouldn’t be that simple....

I waddled right by one mean-looking one with a huge club. Just keep moving.... WHOOSH—his strokes would swing and miss! It was a good thing they took their time winding up, and didn’t lead their targets or try to head me. If they’d been Octoroks I would have been in trouble....

And all the while whenever the sun hit my ice block, it started to hiss.

I tried to keep to the shade as much as I could—Iceway Pillars indeed—but it was a little tricky with so many beasties clouding my way....

I moved along the columns of shadow, reminding myself irresistibly of Glim the Candle, until I had gained the more shaded westerly side of the ruins.

I could not move fast enough to shake these Bokoblins! I could only hope that they would lose interest, but would that really happen at this speed?

I could hear them behind me still mucking on in pursuit.... No did they lose interest....? Or did they only lose momentary SIGHT of me? I tried to hurry—WHERE WAS FUROSA?

I stayed on the western periphery—and then I saw her, she was up on the last platform—which I couldn’t reach because the steps were too tall and I couldn’t climb anything while carrying this gigantic block of ice over my head!

Well I couldn’t go back and try to get up!

Huagh! I hoofed it around the horn to the east side, avoiding the bad guys—the ice steamed and hissed further—until I found a step low enough for me to climb, and I huffed and trudged and finally clomped to a halt in the shade before the old Gerudo.

“Huh? You’re... Well, whatever. I don’t care who you are as long as I get my ice.”

Oh yeah, I remembered. I guess she’d never seen me as a voe. Bare-chested and all that.

“With this I can make the ultimate Noble Pursuit,” she said, and asked if I could go tell Pokki. Pokki was her best customer, she said. “Knowing her, she’ll come running when she hears there’s a wonderful drink with her name on it.”

And the screen faded out and back in, and Furosa had gone with her ice.

A sand seal was in order.

I caught one and struck out toward the east. And being one who has walked through the desert, I recognized the very dune I needed to reach almost straight away.... Honestly it was hard to miss.

Pokki bemoaned herself again. “This is it. This is the end...”

“Actually...” I said.

LOL that’s all I ever say in this quest. XD

And I told her.

Pokki perked up. “What? Ultimate Noble Pursuit?”

Well that seemed to put some life into her.

“I am so gone!” she said, or something like it, and she was outta there.

Running.

The screen slow-blinked one last time, and I was alone.

....

Go get it, Pokki.

....

You’re such a PANSY.

....

But I troubled myself about her no more. For NOW.... it was time for my prize....

Out came the Pocky, and the cocoa smell from the newly-opened package wafted against my nostrils like a draft from a warm oven. And with the delightful soft crunch of chocolate-covered biscuit sticks between my teeth, I entered the Misae Suma Shrine, claimed the monk’s blessing.... and saved. ♡

The Other Side of Limbo

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 5

The Other Side of Limbo

The sand storm raged until—

That chime.

And my feet trod for nothing.

You can’t go any farther.

I had reached the western edge of my map.

So I turned south.

The storm continued to rage all around me, blotting out sun and moon, the wind howling, the grit flying horizontal across my path. On and on and on I jogged through the murk, shouldering off to the right every once in a while just to make sure I was still on the border, still on the edge.

My Sheikah Slate had lost functionality again; it was impossible to tell how far I had gone or how far there was left to go. All I had to guide me was that bumping chime to my right side—not that it was too difficult to move in roughly a straight line.

It seemed to go on forever.... just wind and Stalmoblins and dust and more wind and a few lonely animals and more Stalizalfos and—“NOT THE KEESE, NOT THE KEESE!”

I ran whenever I saw them.

Well.... I ran whenever I saw anything. Or nothing.

I just ran.

Was it day or night? I couldn’t tell.

There was a shape to my left. Roundish, humping obtrusive out of the fuzzy horizon. What was this....?

I slowed, and edged closer....

It was a skull-den. And there was at least one tower flanking it, with a Bokoblin on top, keeping a weather eye on—its invisible surroundings.

And I think it’s only now that I’m reminded of the morning of Thursday, January 9, 2003. But that is another story.

I traced the Bokoblin’s obscured movements through the sand, and stayed just deep enough away in the storm that he did not see me as I circled round to the back of their camp.

They never guard the backs.

I shinnied up the rear of the skull, and crouched low before sniping the two lookouts. The wind and the desert devoured their remains and there was no reclaiming them. Tsch!

Thereafter I stood to drop bombs through one of the eye-holes. The wind made this tricky, but with a little trial and error I found a good position, and watched as the life-meters below me reacted, converged, and were blown in all directions, over and over again.... I played this game until they were all dead, and thankfully, the bits leftover were less blustered and more contained inside the den.

I didn’t have room for the actual treasure inside the chest, though.

Oh well.

I harvested what I could from the Limbo Den, and made my way back from nothing to nothing; I hit the border, and started skirting southward again.

The air was a shifting array of dull colors all mashing together, darker beneath, lighter above. Somewhat.

Thank goodness for these Sand Boots at least....

I jogged.... and jogged.... and jogged....

And there was another shape to my left.

This one was.... geologically improbable. A great dark bow loomed from some large mass on the right, and arced unsupported through the air to the left, pointing north.

That had to be—BUT FIRST—

I hurried. Further southward. More creatures, more critters, Lizalfos burrowing through the sand.... I bumped to the right again—the border was still there—and then came the same abrupt chime—and I was brought to a halt.

I had come to the farthest point.

I had reached the corner.

So had the Lizalfos.

I cut them down, and the leftover bits rolled away unreachable in the gale. I might have been able to grab a talon or something....

The big shape with the bowhead still loomed darker than the surrounding grit. I could have approached it from this new angle, but.... instead I followed the western edge of the world back north, until I was even with the bow again. And I stepped eastward out of the storm....

As the air cleared, the great skull came into view. The bow-shape resolved into the enormous upper jaw, the entirety of it from cranium to nose-tip longer and thinner and more streamlined than that of the other Leviathan had been, the one on the volcano. That one had been broader, heavier-looking, more armored, like some giant horny toad.

But this one looked a proper whale. And the entire skeleton was smooth and bleached, whereas the other had been so weathered and darkened that in places it looked more like stone.

And there was another difference—round about where the scapulae might be, the long bones of some right-side limb jutted up from the spine at a high angle—sticking right up into the sky!

What in the—?

Was this . . . .

Was this a WINDFISH?

The mouth was open, the lower jaw buried deep into the sand. And—there was something—

There was a Gerudo! Kneeling directly before the open mouth as if in prayer to a deity.... she was so tiny before it....

Who....?

I approached her.

It was Barta.

“Barta!” The one who had been imprisoned before!

“Ugh,” she groaned, “Are you... a fairy? An angel? Are you here to guide my passage?”

She wasn’t kneeling out of awe or respect; she was clinging onto her spear for dear life, resting in the shade of the bowheaded jaw. “...Everything’s going hazy... This might be the end...”

“Snap out of it!” I said.

But she only moaned, “Ahh... If only I could’ve eaten a hearty durian one last time... A hearty durian... A hearty durian...”

I spoke to her again.

“Ahh, spirits of the Goddess... Before you take me from this world, if I could just taste fruit... Just one last bite of a hearty durian...”

And here I was given two choices of response, and I laughed at the cruel polarity: “Take this!” or “Good-bye.”

“Take this!” I said, and the screen blacked out and back in.

Barta stood on her feet now. “Hah... I’ve returned from the brink of death thanks to you...” she gasped, “Sarqso!”

Then she saw me more clearly—“Huh? Is that you I spoke to before? So you are actually a voe... I thought you were a bit muscular for a Hylian vai.”

XD

“But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I owe you my life, after all!”

Ah, so many Gerudo ladies who’d found me out already. Felt kinda nice to be real.

“Hah... Anyway,” Barta continued, “I’m totally exhausted. Maybe I’ll rest just a little longer then head home.”

I was given only one response to say: “Your boss was MAD.” It was not untrue. Liana and her other subordinates.... had been quite agitated the last time I’d seen them in the barracks.

“Huh? So...they knew I snuck off...”

I nodded.

“...Oh, I am in such trouble...” Barta muttered under her breath. “Yep, looks like I’d better go on ahead. See you later and sav’orq!”

And the screen blacked out again, and when it came back, Barta had gone.

Is sav’orq another form of thanks? Or is it perhaps an expression of farewell? Someone else had said it to me when I’d turned down some business or other. But if that’s what it were, then Barta would have been repeating herself. Does it regard rather the time of day?

Hmm.

I hoped she wouldn’t catch it too bad from Liana. Then again, maybe that would have been good for her.

I turned to check out the skeleton—the shrine beneath it and near to the skull was called the Hawa Koth Shrine, and it was the awesomest shrine ever, with much electricity and GIANT GEARS to play with.... It was like the sparky younger cousin of Kaam Ya’Tak....

But that wasn’t what interested me the most.

After I’d locked down the warpable, I turned to the large, thrumming, pulsing cocoon a stone’s cast down-whale....

There was a FAIRY FOUNTAIN BENEATH THIS THING.

....

AND THE GREAT FAIRY TERA WANTED TEN THOUSAND RUPEES?

. . . .

Oh boy....

. . . . . . .

And I was.... just about skint-broke....

. .  .   .    .     .      .

I needed to go make me some cash.

Sand Seal Rally!

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 8

Sand Seal Rally!

I continued talking with everyone I could around Gerudo Town, looking for more days to save, until I came to one gateway guard who mentioned the Sand Seal Races. She told me where they normally took place, and said that, now that the Divine Beast was gone, they could race again.

Oh could they now?

I ran out in the indicated direction, just to a little hill in the sand with some palm trees. I could see no discernible racing track, but near an ancient Sheikah dais I found two Gerudo vai just kind of standing around.

One of them had shaded goggles over her eyes, and the reddest fro I had ever seen.

This was the legendary sand seal racer Tali, and beside her was her elderly trainer, Shabonne.

When I spoke to them it was Shabonne who answered—she blew and blustered on about how sand seal racing was a fast-paced, hardcore sport, and how difficult it was, and that a little vai like me couldn’t really hope to be any good at it, especially against somebody like Tali, who was their most celebrated racing champion, and who held all the records, and who was generally the best of the best and why the heck didn’t I just fall down and start worshipping her right now. Dang.

Tali just said, “...”

XD

But I pressed, and for twenty rupees there was an option to race! I wondered how it would go.... Would there be multiple other racers? Would it be just me and Tali? Would we have to jockey for position?

But it turned out that I alone had only to race against Tali’s winning time.

Well that wouldn’t be so bad. :)

A minute and a half to beat....

But where was the course? Would it be marked? How would I know which way to go?

Perhaps it wasn’t quite like me, to go rushing into something so fast, but before I knew it the screen faded out and I had set the sequence in motion: I stood poised on my shield behind a tame sand seal, all hitched up and ready to go. The timer was counting down—

Ah, I could see it now.... Those were gates!

In front of me, two tall posts were bowed toward each other, tied at the top with ropes and flags to make a shape like a Gothic arch. Similar sets of posts marched off into the dunes in the distance and beyond obstacles....

I could do this! :D

And the timer wound down and I was off.

I don’t remember what distracted me from making my seal dash right off the start.... Maybe just the novelty of the experience. Through the gate, darting ahead between a mess of rocks, down through a narrow little sink where the boulders rolled around—and the music! What a happy, flutey little jig was the music! ^_^ Made all the more charmingly amusing by the fact that as my sand seal put out bursts of speed it seemed to snorfle along right in time to the beat. XD

There was a cool stretch that curved right underneath a giant ribcage that bent round a large rock—and then it was straight through a Lizalfos camp? What the heck??— But there was the next gate just beyond the three skull-dens—I urged my sand seal onward....!

And I burst through a drop with my sand seal leaping through the air like a salmon and the finish line sounded and I had completed the race in a minute and seventeen seconds! I beat the record! ^_^

The sequence brought me right back to the little sand hill, where several Gerudo had turned out to watch me race. Tali finally spoke up and offered me a gracious congratulations, and the crowd all cheered as I was awarded the trophy they had handed down through the years—a Sheikah orb.

Well I knew just where to put that!

I set it down in the glowing orange dais and the Raqa Zunzo Shrine rumbled up out of the earth.

Cool.

Once I had collected the Spirit Orb, I spoke to Shabonne once again.

She was pretty wound up that I had beaten her champion. And she challenged me to another go, this time with a little wager.... If I could beat the time I had just set, she would give me three hundred rupees.

But I had to put up a hundred rupees of my own to start.

Well, considering my sloppy start the previous time....

It was a deal.

And I did the race in a minute sixteen this time! The extra rupees were most welcome—I had been a little low on cash.

Shabonne conceded that I had some skill, then. And Tali opened up a bit as well. She spoke about the trophy, and told me that, though it had been awarded to her before, she was never really sure she would be the one to awaken the shrine I think that’s what she said or something like it.

Had each winner been attempting to summon the shrine?

But there was something about me, she said, that she felt was different. When she looked at me. And I had been the one to awaken the shrine.

Wait just how Chosen was I, if the Sheikah relics were reacting only to me?

That was something new to think about....

I went back to town and visited the guards again.

Barta was still down in Dragon’s Exile.

Did I want to do that tonight? It’d been a long day....

And then one of them shared with me the rumor that THERE WAS A FAIRY AT THE LEVIATHAN SKELETON SOUTHWEST OF TOWN.

OH for—

. . . .

No, this day was too long.

I went to just stay at the inn. Romah’s inn. The Hotel Oasis.

Standard, please, I said, not the spa plan—and handed over twenty rupees.

Besides if they spa me they might find out I’m a man.

It was 4:05 in the morning, game time, and I’d seen two Blood Moons in this town, consecutively.

I asked the innkeep to wake me at noon.

“Sav’orr” she bade me as I went to bed.

Good night.

Friendly Neighborhood Hylian

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 7

Friendly Neighborhood Hylian

I came back down just outside Gerudo Town.

They could all rest easy now that the Hero had subdued the imminent danger stomping around out in the desert.

But they still wouldn’t let a voe come into town.

....Eh. I had wondered.

I changed clothes right in front of them and jogged through the gate.

Actually all the townsfolk kept talking about how Chief Riju had been the one to put the danger down.... which.... I guess I was okay with. She had been right out there with me, surfing behind Patricia. Right under the Divine Beast’s feet. And I had been in disguise after all. Just some lowly common Hylian vai, assisting the Chief....

I had just imagined some moment when I would be recognized and accepted and able to walk around freely in this place.... No exception even for the Hero of Legend....?

Nope.

Still no boys allowed.

Ah well.

Chief Riju was waiting for me in her throne room. She gave an outpouring of gratitude at my appearance—her people were happy again, and relieved. Stress had been reduced all through the town—“Stress”. Lol, women. XD

As thanks for my help in calming Vah Naboris and saving her people, she offered me the Scimitar of the Seven, along with the Daybreaker, the sword and shield wielded by the Champion Urbosa herself. Riju could think of no more appropriate use for them than to be wielded by the Hero of Hyrule against the Calamity that had claimed their original owner.

Unfortunately there was no room for them in my inventory.

There was something else in the room, however, which rather caught my eye....

Mounted handsomely on a pedestal a little to Riju’s right was the Thunder Helm.

When I examined it, and Riju reacted, there was only one unbecomingly brazen option I was given to say: “I want the Thunder Helm.”

Both Riju and Buliara voiced a polite but firm opposition to this—well, maybe not so polite on Buliara’s account. The helm was an heirloom of the Gerudo; it belonged here.

But.... considering all that I had done for them.... and all that I had yet to do, for all of Hyrule....

Riju agreed to lend me the Thunder Helm. If.... I could continue to live up to the title of Hero, and resolve all the town’s ills. The Divine Beast was no longer a threat, but that didn’t make life automatically perfect. If I could solve the whole town’s problems, and bring the smiles back to her people.... then and only then would Chief Riju lend me the Thunder Helm.

Well....

Hero work was what I did best.

I left the palace and heard from the garrison that Barta.... was in trouble again.

But I had seen her! She had escaped from the Yiga Nest since I had last been there, and I had seen her here in the barracks! Getting raked by her superiors....

But now.... her fellow warriors told me she was in Dragon’s Exile. Home of Moldugas. Mmmm but I was more confident against Moldugas.... but.... Well I had gathered she was kind of reckless, but.... what in the world was she doing down there? Part of me could only wonder, and part of me was.... hungrily delighted at an excuse to venture down to investigate the Great Skeleton....

Wandering further around Gerudo Town I drifted into the canteen, but could still find no clues about the password, and so threw the barrel at the ladies again.

What other ills were there around town for me to solve....? I was quite out of ideas, but at length I did find one little vai to rescue: a child named Dalia.

Dalia wanted to plant an orchard in an unused, obscure corner of town. But so much litter kept flowing down the aqueducts into the water trough....

!! D8<

“CalybaaAAANN!” I huffed as I turned to crawl up the wall.

I found her, and I told her what her face-stuffing rind-waste was doing to poor little Dalia’s orchard plans—the kid had been crying....

Upon hearing of the child’s plight, Calyban agreed to quit chucking her rinds down the stream—but she wouldn’t do it for free. She wasn’t that kind of person. She enjoyed her Hydromelons for sure, but what she really wanted to taste were Wildberries. The kind that grew high up on the freezing cold steps of the Gerudo Highlands. If I could bring her some of those—like ten—then she would quit from her little rind-chucking hidey-hole.

Fortunately I just happened to have enough Wildberries in my pockets; I gave her some.

“Oh! Oh they’re so delicious!” Calyban remarked, or something like it. So juicy and flavorful, sweeter than anything she’d ever tasted.

Evidently it put her in a very good mood, for she then decided that, in addition to stopping her littering, she would even go help little Dalia clean up!

Well that was just dandy. ^_^

The screen faded out and back in, and I was alone on top of the wall.

Time to check up on Dalia!

I followed the course of the aqueduct back the way I had come—there were so many paths.... But I found the one path I was looking for, and dropped down into Dalia’s little shaded corner.

I have to admit, it looked much nicer than when I had left it!

And Dalia was smiling again—she was so happy that her ground was now properly prepared. And she was delighted to relate to me that a vai she’d never met had come and helped her clean it up! And given her some Wilberries to boot!

For my help, Dalia gave me a Hydromelon she had gotten from the other vai as well. Aww.... ^_^

And then.... she said I could come get Wildberries from her little orchard whenever I wanted! 8D

And I did, later, when her bushes were planted and growing—three bushes of two berries each. I plucked the bush on the right clean, but.... I left the rest for Dalia.

It was her orchard, after all.

Unsaved Again

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 6

Unsaved Again

There was nothing else for me to do on Zirco Mesa; I needed to get back to Gerudo Town. I could see it, far, far below on the desert plain, and I had half a mind to try paragliding as far as I could toward it, just a long flight down the hill....

But, almost as if the game were trying to hurry me on toward my destination, a star fragment fell just around that moment, landing almost within spitting distance of those ruins between the town and the Ice House—

Oh dratblast it what are those called? Do they have a name? I can’t keep saying the ruins between Gerudo Town and the Northern Ice House I’m going to call themmmm.... the Iceway Pillars.

At any rate, that fallen star was fresh, and daylight was impending, and that was a risk of losing it. Dear me.... it’s tough to abandon being king of the mountain.... Hmm, hmhhmmm, hmm, hmmm, HMMM I jumped.

I flew in a high, cold beeline through the frigid sky for a while, until I saw that my stamina was half gone and my distance only quarter covered giving myself another Call of the Wild flashback—And the ground was really beginning to warm with the approaching dawn—there wasn’t enough time—

I warped in midair back to town, changed right away into my Hylian Tunic, Sand Boots and a Lizalfos Mask, sprinted out north-northwest towards the shimmering pillar of light even as it was fading and dying—Kilton was over there but I couldn’t visit with him right now—

And I got it. Got the Star Fragment just as the sun crept over the horizon, claimed the sky for his own, and declared all other lights null and void.

Excellent.

I turned.

Kilton was gone.

....

Well....

That was fine.

I went to Gerudo Town’s gate, momentarily forgetting myself.... and remembering again as soon as Merina and Dorrah reminded me that no voe were allowed in the city.

Oh.... right.

So I went back to the shrine to change.... That needs to be a picture, really. I can see that artwork in my head: Link changing into girls’ clothes under the shade of the shrine’s overhang. He’d be leaning against the.... that would be the southeast inner wall. Far back. The hassled look on his face would make me want to title it something like.... ‘This is / Ridiculous....’ or some variation.... Morning lighting would be best, so the city wall glares bright and the shade is deep and obscured. Wonder if the angle could be worked to include Merina and/or Dorrah in the deep background.... just for added context....

Hm, I cut a previous instance of artistic musings that cropped up in the log.

....

Maybe I’ll go back and reinsert it for the blog.

Wearing the proper attire once more, I walked into town as a vai.

Frita bade me good morning—she still felt unsure about using the Gerudo words; she said she didn’t want to go blurting them around and seem as if she were saying “Look at me! I can speak another language!”

“I understand,” I said.

I love this game.

I bought some more Bomb Arrows, for I’d used quite a few of them on Kohga, and then it was straight on into the palace.

But Riju wasn’t there. So I spoke to Buliara.

She said Riju was.... upstairs? And I’d been given permission to go up to speak with her, which I did. I gave back the Thunder Helm; a memory ensued....

But I didn’t save it.

The Young Chief

Evening of Sunday, June 10, 2018

The Young Chief

When the night was cool I walked out from the Gerudo Canyon Stable to Kara Kara Bazaar to go arrow-shopping. Then it was off to Gerudo Town for more of the same, chased by Lizalfos all night....

My goodness, that arrow-stall in town.... It’s like a candy store. A very expensive candy store where the sweets come with fletching and they oftentimes explode. I bought most of the lady’s stock, spending thousands of rupees I am sure. But I got a little of it back when, after I was done purchasing, I sold the lady my spare Gerudo attire. I don’t need it.

I met Jules in passing on the street again—“Sav’otta!” she said, “Instead of ‘good morning’.” She said she wanted to practice using Gerudo words.

So Sav’otta meant good morning....

Well, that was one phrase I could translate, then!

I approached the palace. The guards maintained a fierce manner (“. . . or else you and my spear will have a very personal conversation!” Link flinched at threatened retribution for bad behavior!) but they let me in. Evidently Chief Riju was still up to entertaining visitors.

The throne room was wide, with gently-flowing, shallow aqueducts lining the way to the throne. Riju sat leaning to one side upon it, her cheek resting lightly on delicate knuckles. Her clothes were exquisitely beautiful, and an ornate headdress nestled perfectly in her fiery hair. She certainly had the air of a Chief, but she was still so young—short in the midst of all these towering women. To her left stood her protector Buliara, an enormous guard with intimidating armor. She looked down at me with wideset eyes flanking a broad nosebridge....

“Just another traveler....” Riju started, but then seemed to subtly notice something, and added that perhaps there was more to this one that met the eye.

It was that thing on my hip....

The Chief seemed to have a soft-spoken way. So young but so collected. Calm. Her blue lipstick only ever bent her mouth between a coolly disconnected concern, mirrored by her brow.... and a quiet, intelligent smile, beneath eyes that could see a thousand miles.

They asked me what I wanted. I told them I could calm Vah Naboris. And as I saw Link gesticulating in his Gerudo Attire I just imagined him talking in a girly voice, and laughed.

Somehow it felt relatable to a contralto like me.... |D

Buliara scoffed that only Champions like Lady Urbosa could possibly stand a chance at such a venture. And she didn’t recall any Hylian vai among the Champions.

Riju asked me my name.

“Link.”

There was one Hylian among the Champions, too, Riju reminded Buliara. The Chief remembered hearing that the Princess Zelda had put the fallen warrior into an enchanted sleep. And his name was Link, too.

Chief Riju opened her eyes from thought and looked at me.

“You’re a voe.”

Oh they found me out.

Buliara became incensed at this incursion!

But Riju directed her protector’s attentions to the object hanging on my hip: “A treasured relic of the Sheikah,” she said, “You don’t think, Buliara, that they’d entrust it to just some drifter, do you?”

I think Riju knew who I was....

Though her face and demeanor were so well masked.

I suppose it came from dwelling in a city of all women.

Still, Buliara had limited faith in me, and suggested—perhaps not entirely out of good will.... “Why not have him prove himself by retrieving the stolen Thunder Helm?”

Riju softly considered this and hmmm.... agreed to it. “Go through that arch,” she directed me to my right, “It leads to the barracks. Talk to Captain Teake.” The Captain and her subordinates, Riju suggested, would be able to give me any information I needed on the whereabouts of the thieves....

And so I took my leave.

I remembered these barracks—I walked down the stairs and visited with all the Gerudo in training again, gleaning what tidbits they could give me, until I came to Captain Teake on her higher platform in the back.

Captain Teake stood strong and solid with her arms crossed, overseeing the exercises of her soldiers. I’d forgotten that she had the lightest complexion of any Gerudo I’d ever met. I wondered if she burned in the sun....

The Captain and her women seemed to have been made aware that they were to cooperate with me, and they did. I asked around, collected some clues, and wouldn’t you know it.... It seemed the thieves who had stolen the Thunder Helm were nestled away in Karusa Valley.

Or as I had become wont to refer to it....

SATAN CANYON.

Yup.

There was nothing for it then but a quick warp to the Sho Dantu Shrine in that valley, a little bit of a hike up the way—worked my way up, killed some Yiga—and before I knew it I had once again come to the end of the canyon.

But this time.... the doorway into the sandstone was wide open.

....

So I called my brother David.

He sounded busy. “What’s up?” he asked, or some variant thereof.

“Well I am about to enter the Yiga Nest and I wondered if you wanted me to wait for you.”

I heard him gasp.

Seemed like a real dilemma.

I knew this was the part he’d said he was most excited to watch me play.

“Where are you?” I asked him.

“Shara’s house.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just talking.”

“What are you talking about?”

“. . . .”

Sometimes I feel like such a family dog.

Not that I guess I’d know at all—we’ve never had a dog.

David hemmed and hawed and huffed and hmmmed but.... in the end he said he just couldn’t make me wait, when he knew where I was, when he knew what I was playing. He was too far away to be back any time soon . . . . though if I felt like waiting for him at all.... that.... would be cool.... Oh but he couldn’t, not really. I should just go ahead....

I should just go ahead....

I should just go ahead....

. . . .

Mmmm ehhhhhh I would just....

The Prettiest Voe

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 4

The Prettiest Voe

A Hylian dressed like a Gerudo. A “pretty Hylian gal”.

That was who I was looking for, this cool night in Kara Kara Bazaar.

Robsten said this.... person was around the general store, but I didn’t see anybody around any of the stalls.

Ripp the guard said she’d seen a Hylian vai wandering around the inn. Said she was probably still in town, as the Divine Beast was scaring a lot of people out of traveling right now.

So to the inn I went.

But nobody new was inside.

I bought all of Shailu’s (newly-stocked) arrows again and went back outside. There was really only one more place to check. That spot up on top of the big, bulbous rock. The spot which David had been so eager for me to visit....

So I climbed the ladders, got up on top, and saw a Hylian standing there, clad in shimmering purplish silks, looking out into the desert where Vah Naboris stomped.

The Gerudo clothes made the figure seem.... well really short.

I got the person’s attention. Vilia was her name.

“Oh my what a lovely young lad you are,” she said, “Do you need something from me?”

“I NEED YOUR CLOTHES,” I said in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.

Oh my gosh and what a low voice this woman had.

This ‘Vilia’ went on to.... compliment my looks or something I DON’T REMEMBER BECAUSE IT WAS TOO RIDICULOUS—

And I was presented with a couple of choices in the dialogue, and I tried to keep it.... Well, I didn’t want to upset anything.

“You’re very beautiful!” I said. And she was so tickled by this that she offered to give me some Gerudo clothing of my own because it would just look so enchanting on my adorable body why is this pervert offering me clothes I’m a man.

Six hundred rupees and a fade-to-black later, I stood on the rock in a lavender scarf and top, green harem pants and lightweight slippers on my feet—

“*Eeeeee!*” Vilia squealed, complete with asterisks and music note icons!

—And absolutely nothing on my midriff.

“You look adorable!!” Vilia went on, while Link first cupped his hands to the sides of his blushing face, and then WILTED into this girlish stance dance, swaying uncertainly with his shoulders hunched, his low hands clasped together, and his eyes down and away.

Oh my gosh. XD

I didn’t really catch much of the rest of what Vilia said, except when the wind blew her scarf out of the way and I swore she had a beard.

“And make sure to watch out for the wind,” she advised.

At which Link delivered a most timely facepalm, and the cinematic drew to a close.

“Be sure to come back and see me any time if you need more clothes!”

Uh, yeah, sure thing, Vilia. ಠ_ಠ

The Point With No Entry

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 3

The Point With No Entry

As Gerudo Town remained impenetrable, and as no clues seemed to present themselves to me locally, I grabbed a sand seal, counted on its speed to blunt the impending heat exhaustion, and started back toward the oasis at Kara Kara Bazaar.

But I didn’t get far before I saw a voe on the road—a man. And in a fit of considering my optionnnnns I decided to hop off the sand seal, and talk to him.

His name was Gartan

He was a merchant.

That was all.

Well that was a wasted sand seal—I ran back to the safety of Gerudo Town, as it was nearest.... and saw another guy, running around. Literally running before the forward wall.

I stopped him to talk. His name was Bozai, and he sported obnoxious glasses, an overlarge chin, and unflatteringly long dark hair.

But he also had.... Sand Boots? That let him run at normal speed over the sand?

Heck yes!

But Nope, says he. He would mayyyybe give them to a girl, but not a guy.

Huh.... Well it seemed an interesting item to keep my eyes out for anyway.

But it still didn’t get me into the town.

I saw Lukan come up the road to enter the city! But nothing she could offer was much help to get inside either.

I tried walking around the outer wall—there were other entrances, but they too were of course guarded by Gerudo.

I even climbed up on top of the wall a little bit....

I could see into the town.

A handful of red-haired girls, oblivious with their backs to me. Some were so young....

It felt indecent.

I did not drop down inside. I just kept circumnavigating.... and kept running into Bozai and his ridiculous boots—turned out he was running around trying to show off and catch some Gerudo lady’s eye.

Well.... good luck with that, Bozai.

All of the Gerudo guards told me much the same thing, this was Gerudo Town, no voe allowed, the Divine Beast this, the burning desert that, blah blah blah....

I finally tried talking to Benja again, by the shrine. And this time, I found out what he had meant before when he said it was all research.

Benja told me he’d heard of a man who knew a way to sneak into Gerudo Town! A man who’d been in and out of the city several times before! That’s why Benja was keeping such a sharp eye on the road leading in—he wanted to catch the man at it and learn the secret.

He also said the man frequently visited Kara Kara Bazaar.

Huh.... well this was interesting news!

When it was cool enough I grabbed a sand seal and hightailed it back to Kara Kara Bazaar, and told Robsten I had found his caravan leader.

This came as a relief to Robsten, and I told him further that his caravan leader was keeping an eye out for that guy—it would definitely be somebody sneaky.... And I asked him if he’d seen anybody like that.

Somebody sneaky?

AND HE SAYS “There was that pretty Hylian gal at the general store. It’s unusual to see a Hylian girl dressed like a Gerudo...”

?

!?

Oh...

my....

SAND SEALS

Waking of Friday, January 19, 2018 ~ 2

SAND SEALS

I guess that, some time ago, I had ventured into the arid regions just enough that my loading screen had decided it was time to start giving me tips about Sand Seals.

I never read these tips. I didn’t want to be spoiled.

But I gathered a Sand Seal was something that could help you travel.

I just guessed it was something you stood on, like a dais, out in the desert, maybe some mini-warpable network that could take you from place to place without making you trudge through the endless sands. But wasn’t that a little redundant....?

Mmm but I did like to comb all the spaces between the anchors....

Then, as I approached Gerudo Town in the growing dawn, I saw a sight that made everything so clear to me:

Large, grey-brown shapes, three of them, sitting or rolling around on the sand before a small pavilion beside the town’s entrance.

I scoped in.

The one facing me had tusks.

Like a walrus.

IN THE SAND.

“Sand Seals!” I gasped!

It was THAT kind of seal! 8D

Whaaaaaaat? >u<

Oh my gosh did I ride it? Like a horse? Or like on the back of Prince Sidon? Did they go fast? Would I get a saddle?

My mind spun in dizzy delight as I approached the walls of the town.

The place was alien, but most interesting; so many ruins and strange formations jutted from the sea of sand all around. One shape with towering banners winked at me from within a giant dust-cloud. The Southern Oasis?

I placed a marker and checked my map.

It was smack in Divine Beast territory.

Nope! Definitely something for another day. :)

I hurried toward the Sheikah Shrine at the corner of the town—the Daqo Chisay Shrine. But before I entered, I spoke with the man standing beside it. Benja was his name. And he was the caravan leader.

Though his feet didn’t move, his eyes beneath a shading hand seemed to be walking all up and down the front of the town.

“Are you spying?” I asked him, and he dodged the question with some words about his caravan and the research he was doing or something.

My only response to give to this was, once again, “Are you spying?” XD

“It’s research! RESEARCH!” he shouted. Or some such assertion. XD

I entered the shrine. I think it was the one David said he had solved by just laying a bunch of metal weapons on the floor to complete the electrical circuits. But I just did it the regular way. :3

Afterwards I headed toward the entrance to Gerudo Town.

Two tall Gerudo guards in gleaming, gold-trimmed armor stood on either side. Merina and Dorrah.

First I tried just.... slowly stepping forward. But they had their spears at my throat before I could cross the threshold, and were kind enough to remind me that no voe were allowed in the city.

“I’m sorry... ‘boe’?” I said. Uh, why was this an option?

“Voe! Voe! Bite your lower lip as you say it!”

AND THEN I JUST DIED as I remembered that Japan has no traditional character for V! XD

Oh my gosh this was precious. XD XD

Wait how did they even write it in Japanese??

WHO WROTE THIS? You are just way too much fun. XD XD XD Oh my gosh. Now I want to see screenshots of this exact exchange in the original Japanese. XD

Through with probing the town’s entrance, I turned to the only other NPC that seemed to be a permanent fixture of the location—beneath the canopy to my left stood Frelly.

She stood happily clapping and cooing and calling to the sand seals lolling around on the dune before her. And when I spoke to her, she sounded more perky and friendly than any Gerudo I had ever met. :3

Sadly, since I was a voe, Frelly said I couldn’t go into town to just rent a sand seal for twenty rupees. But she explained that the wild ones were easy enough to catch:

You had to sneak up reeeal quiet behind one, and then you just grab it with A, and steer it with the joystick. But she said really the best way to learn was just to jump right in and try it!

Heh, Frelly was so fun. ^_^

Oh, and she also said I had to have a shield equipped.

A shield? How would that work?

Well, I had one of my three trusty Knight’s Shields equipped already, so.... I snuck up behind one of the sand seals out by the canopy.... and grabbed it.

And surfed on my shield behind it like a CHARIOT! 8D

HA! I rode around and the sand seal burrowed through the sand ahead like a dolphin and I turrrned it this way and turrrned it that way—and it WAS fast! But I didn’t want to get too far away from the city, and so angled back toward Frelly’s canopy.... and let go with B. And off the sand seal went back into the dunes before popping out some distance away to loll on the surface again.

And oh dearie my, I jumped into my inventory to check....

AND MY SHIELD WAS STILL SPARKLY! 8D Riding it around hadn’t damaged it at all!

Well this was just a dandy way to travel! ^_^

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:26p

Is there a “v” sound or

character in Japanese?

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:28p

Only in more modern stuff, a

lot of Japanese people can’t

really pronounce it properly.

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:29p

ヴ is how you write it.

Vince ->ヴィンス

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:32p

Wow! How modern? And what

sound does that character

make without the hash marks?

And is that your name? ^_^

How does it go in Romaji? :D

Oh my gosh I need to calm

down.... X-)

From: Lisa

To: Andrea, Vince

2018-02-05 1:32p

^ ^I was just going to say that.

Katakana u with tenten.

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:35p

As for how it sounds, try

making a “vvvvvv” noise, and

then shifting your lips forward

until it’s just about at an

“ooo.” It’s in the middle of

those two.

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:35p

Without tentens, it’s just

“u” (like the oo in food)

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:36p

Romaji would just be v

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:36p

Tenten! That’s what they’re

called----they usually add

voicings to non-voiced

consonants?

From: Vince

To: Andrea, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:37p

Yeah, that’s the trick.

From: Andrea

To: Vince, Lisa

2018-02-05 1:38p

I just love you guys. XD