The Rigours of Horsemanship

Waking of Saturday, October 13, 2018

The Rigours of Horsemanship

In the Deku Tree’s Navel I cooked me up some stamina-replenishing meals. Mmf! Mighty fine eatin’. Endura Shrooms. Good stuff. I didn’t want to find myself in dire straights on any bare cliff faces again.

After that it was a warp to the Highland Stable. More often than not I always went everywhere on foot, but now.... I wanted to do that equestrian obstacle course. Because I wanted to be a better rider. Ever since I’d heard of it I’d always thought to come back and give it a try some time....

No time like the present.

And after only the minor distraction of running the very longest Korok race I think I’d ever seen.... I came back, bypassing all the mounted Bokoblins in the field, and got to the stable.

One lady inside had a sidequest available: Horseback Hoodlums.

Evidently those mounted Bokoblins were making life difficult for travelers on the road. It wasn’t that hard to believe.

So back onto the field I went. I attracted all of their attentions while wearing my Bokoblin Mask, and drew them in close until they were walking their horses in one foul, leering circle around me. Out came my sword; I charged up for a spin-attack....

And one shot of Urbosa’s Fury took them all out. Completely.

Didn’t expect it to work all the way to death in just one hit.

Oh, and Sorry, horses.

But they seemed to be all right.

Mission completed, I went back to the stable. The lady gave me a Swift Carrot for my troubles, and told me that horses love them. “Really!”

So I fed a.... gosh I didn’t have a lot of Swift Carrots.... I fed an Endura Carrot to Brown. Aww, he liked that. I’d never dropped food for my horses before. :)

And then I turned to Blynne. The man behind the obstacle course. It was twenty rupees a pop, and all I had to do was jump my mount over ten gates. And stay on my horse. Otherwise the run would be over!

Blynne’s time was a minute and fifteen seconds; he told me to try for a minute-thirty. If I could beat that he’d give me a prize....

It was.... much more difficult than it looked. I knew theoretically that a galloping horse wouldn’t be able to turn on a dime. But it was difficult to actually command my mount through its various speeds, while on the move. And while trying to HURRY.

It was good practice at least. Good, irritating, infuriating, diabolical PRACTICE....

Blynne gave me a carrot for every attempt between 1:30 and 2:00 anyway, which was nice. And you know.... I do believe.... those carrots gave extra whip-cracks to my horse! Extra speed-bursts. If only temporarily. Huh....

It took a few tries, but when I finally beat a minute-thirty, Blynne gave me the Extravagant Bridle. Oh my gosh it had a feather springing from the crown....

But OHH-HO-HO-HOHH it was only the bridle—what a delicious tease—I wanted the complete set! And for that, I would have to beat Blynne’s time of 1:15.

Oh boy....

I ran the course. And ran it. And ran it backwards. And ran it forwards. And failed. And kept missing gates. And Brown kept refusing. And sometimes, fed up with irrecoverable time loss once again I would HOP DOWN from the saddle just to get Blynne to blow the whistle so the run would be over and I could try again that much sooner, even though I KNEW, from watching that adorable show Silver Spoon on Flixnet, that that was a bad idea, and that giving up mid-run like that would discourage and emotionally scar any real horse!

But I did it anyway. GADS if you weren’t lined up PERFECTLY PERPENDICULAR to the gate on your approach....

PRACTICE. IT WAS ALL GOOD PRACTICE.

I tried and tried and TRIED and tried and tried until FINALLY.... I did it in 1:08.

Blynne was shocked! “I never thought I’d see the day...”

“Me neither,” I said.

But Blynne said he’d better live up to his word, and he gave me the Extravagant Saddle.

Ah I had them both. And they do look extravagant!

I gave Brown so many carrots then. “Good boy,” I praised him, “Good boy, Good boy, WHOOZAGOODBOYYY???”

But even after all that.... the Extravagant Tack just didn’t really suit him.

I tried it on Memory, and the effect was pretty good, but.... honestly he just looked embarrassed.

Hmmmm if I had a big, pure black horse... maybe.... yeah....

The Big Dang Horse

Waking of Saturday, October 28, 2017 ~ 4

The Big Dang Horse

What had commandeered my attention after I set my controller down to charge....? Probably just the necessaries of life.

I came back and found that my lonely WiiU had gone to sleep.

Rats! I hadn’t found a proper saving point!

I restarted it all back up....

And I was on Satori Mountain.

The glowing beast wasn’t there. But the Korok I scared up was.... some consolation I suppose.

I went back to the Outskirt Stable. Probably. I let myself play too far and too long without logging—it gets hard to remember—

Suffice it to say that the sirens played havoc in my head again and I was off to the Great Plateau.

They say Hylians have long ears to hear the voices of the Gods.

I think when I play it’s more like hearing the call of attention deficit disorder.

Hm, or since he’s the avatar, and I’m the player, does that make me the God? He does so readily obey my every whim.... though I allow him the moments that must be lived one way and no other.

But let’s not get too meta just here.

The rain was pouring on the Stasis Shrine, but through the din I could still hear the mean, scruffling sounds of stal-creatures clawing up out of the earth and wishing to do me ill.

Not wanting to deal with them I ran toward the first empty edge I could see and jumped off into the cacophonous, blustering night.

I couldn’t see anything for the rain. Just dim looming shapes in the distance—mountains and hills. I had to consult my map to orient myself.

I wanted back in the Lynels’ Corridor.

I had unfinished business there.

Maybe it was that I had finally taken my horses out and showed them a little bit of love. Ah, my sweet babies.... I like to keep them locked up safe and sound—no telling what we might encounter out in the world. I didn’t want anything to happen to them.

Mm but they were still my proud and wonderful beasts, and I still liked to ride the roads with them.

And there had been that Mohawk mane style....

....

There was only one animal in the world for which that style would be so.... singularly and definitively befitting.

I touched down in the grasslands and jogged quickly toward the baobabs—there were wolves about and I didn’t need their attentions right now.

Presently the herd came into view. But.... they all looked the same. Five or six animals, milling around, cropping the grass.... All the same size.

Where was the big one?

Off to my right, right against the western mountain, one more dark horse pawed unconcernedly about. Fine place for it to stand when I was trying to compare them all.

I was sure it was the one from before—deep black body and a flaming orange mane and tail—but I wanted to make extra sure. I headed toward it, scooting round the baobabs in a fine game of ring-around-the-rosie until I was able to cow it back toward its fellows.

It joined up with them smoothly enough, droplets of water cleaving together. But was it all the way into their midst? The screen gave me no depth perception. The dark one still stood out big among the herd, and I was too far away to tell clearly—Was it larger for its size? Or for its nearness?

A littler horse walked in front of it.

Oh yeah, that was the big one.

And now that I had more stamina, I wanted to try it again.

And the slow chase was on.

I crouched down and crept carefully up behind it, freezing when it turned, pausing as long as I needed, closer and closer.... The other horses snorted and cantered away if they saw me, but my only concern was the Dark One.

Careful not to come up directly behind it—didn’t want a kick in the face, not from that one—I came close to its right flank.... and hopped on.

The thing jumped and bucked as I patted and soothed it frantically—my legs were spread wide over its huge barrel trunk—and my stamina began to burn away. I had much more of it this time, but it was going down fast.

But a quick look into my pockets showed me my stock of stamina dishes and elixirs—I used them all—and on the dregs of the very last one....

The Dark Horse stamped itself into a huff, and stood still beneath me.

I’d got it!

What a BEAST he was! Strong, and proud, and beautiful. I walked him back and forth, here and there, patting his neck, trotting him, reassuring him, soothing him and murmuring sweet sounds beneath the baobabs.

Hahhh! When I got this beauty back to a stable I’d—

And then I saw the problem.

The northern end of the Lynel’s Corridor is a box canyon. To the north is the towering wall of the Great Plateau. To the west, the red tiers of the Gerudo Highlands. To the east, the lush but steep mountain range bordering the lake.

The only way out of this place was southward, past not one but two Lynels, and a small battalion of mounted Bokoblins.

Touché, Nintendo. Touché.

There was no way I was attempting that on a steed that had anything less than complete trust in me. I couldn’t afford any refusals.

And so I continued trotting the Dark One back and forth, back and forth, round and round, again and again, now stopping, now starting, now sprinting, now stepping, always assuring him with pats to his neck, but not too many too fast, correcting him quickly, rewarding him fairly, and loving him gently.

He was a giant to be sure, but he seemed to have no energy for bursts of speed. His fastest gallop.... was his only gallop. This had me worried for getting past those Lynels, but.... after a long time of learning and bonding and with nothing else for it.... we turned our heads southward, and plunged down the grassland.

The Lynels were actually.... surprisingly easy to slip past! And they did not pursue us once we were out of their prowling grounds. And with a bit of weaving and dodging, the Bokoblins did not pose much of a threat either!

I pressed the Dark One onward down the road—we weren’t going to stop for anything until I could register this beast!

And we came at length to the Highland Stable, and it was once again that terrible conniption of deciding on a fitting name.

I knew whose horse this had to be descended from. It was obvious. The huge size, the soot-black coat, the mane like a raging fire. The proximity to Gerudo lands.

But to name him after anything having to do with such a figure.... it would be like a swear word. ._.

And yet.... how could I choose anything else? It would feel untrue. Unfaithful.

But truth and faithfulness notwithstanding, did such a figure even deserve any such honor?

This was a real pickle.

....

You know, perhaps his name had already gone down in history a thousand times as the darkest curse a man could utter.

But perhaps his surname.... the second name he took from the time he rode the black horse with the flaming mane.... perhaps that name was and had always been a purely Gerudo device.

And he wasn’t a Gerudo. Not really.

Maybe it was a good, proud name once. A strong Gerudo name.

Maybe it could be again.

I spent my twenty rupees at the stable counter, and I called my gargantuan steed....

Dragmire.

THE WAYS

Waking of Thursday, June 8, 2017 ~ 2

THE WAYS

I activated the Sheikah Tower. This was the Lake Tower. Finally those shrines I had been to when I came down here looking for Mei had some landscape to nestle in on my map, instead of just floating out there in the blue.

The new map showed plenty of interesting things.... one of the most conspicuous of which was a very large, perfect circle of what looked like stones, some distance to the southeast. The biggest Korok circle in the world....

And nearby that was—

Lake of the Horse God?

“David!”

“What?”

“Lake of the Horse God?” I looked at him expectantly.

He showed no expression.

David had once had a horse named Shaq. And at some point, he lost poor Shaq somewhere.

So I told him about the horse icon that shows up on the map. That would tell him where his horse was.

But he said he couldn’t find it anywhere.

So I told him to just go catch another horse, board it, and then take the freshly-caught horse out again, and the Stables would find his old horse.

I don’t remember if this worked or not. I think he said it did not work.... What?

And then I’d heard something else from Madman Joseph about “something something blah da da da UNLESS YOUR HORSE DIES blah blah something—”

D:

Did horses.... die?

Did poor Shaq....?

No horse icon, no Stable tricks.

Shaq was nowhere.

Oh dear....

I’ve been hesitant to take my horses on untried roads with me, but.... now I was NEVER going to let them out again! Oh my sweet Babies....

BUT THEN one day David said he got his Shaq back!

“Where was he?” I asked. :D

But David didn’t elaborate. “I just got him back. There are ways,” he added mysteriously.

“How?” I really wanted to know where he found his horse.

But he would only say that there were ways....

“Teach me the ways!” I said, not really wanting him to. :D

And he didn’t.

“Who told you about the ways?”

“Nobody, I just found them.”

“Did anyone.... talk about them at all?”

“No, I just went to a place and.... there were the ways,” he shrugged with a smile. “You can find any horse that way. Even if it’s dead.”

WAT. ._____.

“One time one of my horses died, and I already knew about the ways, and so I went there right away and.... got my horse back.” He shrugged loudly.

He was trying to impress and it was working.

“....Teach me the ways!” :D

But he just laughed....

There was something else out southeast—a marker I had left down in this region, back when I was in Faron Woods south of the lake with Tye and Sorelia. It marked another shrine I had seen, but not gone to claim.

I could see the shrine from the top of the tower—and from this height I could see it was next to a stable! Excellent.

Actually there was quite a lot I could see from this height; it was rather like looking at the map in my Slate.

It looked like there were two ways to get to that shrine and stable: one was a road that seemed to wind through Faron Woods, somewhat to my left. And the other.... well the air was quite clear, and I was quite high up.... and just in case I wasn’t, the ground looked most navigable....

I took the second option, and jumped for it, paragliding through the air....

Of course I wasn’t high enough; I should have known. Ahh, but you just feel so good when you’re so high up and the land lies so plain all around you!

I came down onto some bald, pointy hills crawling with Lizalfos—landed almost right on top of one, with no choice then but to whack him off. But with his health bar visible to me, I wasn’t worried. The Champion’s Tunic really is quite handy. No surprises.

At David’s suggestion I climbed to the top of that pointy little hill, and again paraglided toward the shrine and stable. I crossed over a wide open green field prowled by mounted bokoblins, the creepers.... But my angle this time was such that I didn’t have to worry about them either: I landed within breathing distance of the stable—the Highland Stable.

And that big circle I’d seen on my map wasn’t a giant Korok circle.... it was a circle of young cypress trees encompassing the stable! It made for quite a comely effect, I must say. Maybe they planted it as a barrier against the bokoblins so close....

Well! No time for the stable just now—I had a shrine to lock down. “The Ka’o Makagh Shrine!”

I read the name with such fierce enunciation that David laughed. “Sounds like ‘Leggo my Eggo’ when you say it like that,” he said. XD

I again felt only slightly cheap inside as I became aware of small Guardians around corners before I saw them—thanks to my Tunic. The first one had 100 health. The second one had 13. 13! Maybe that was the kind I’d faced in the shrines back on the Plateau so long ago. 13.... What a pitiable number....

I cut it down in one hit with a 14 Lizal Boomerang. And it gave me Ancient Gears. “Why thank you!” I told it. ^_^

When I’d claimed the Spirit Orb and exited the shrine, I took only a brief skip around the stable to meet the locals before heading into the stable’s backyard—opposite the wide green field, a similar lawn stretched away between two tall grey cliff faces, bending out of sight to the right. The Lake of the Horse God was back there....

The lawn rose up a bit before coming to an abrupt end and a short drop into the water. But there was nothing there but a Korok. The dry-ish waterway continued on between the two cliff faces and away out of sight....

What were The Ways....?

I tried bringing one of my horses to the edge of the sward before the water.... but still nothing happened.

Above the water, rather over the far end of the little lake, a wooden bridge extended across from one cliff face to another—a path seemed to cut through the mountain just there. I boarded my horse again, ran back to the lake—the wild horses which haunted the backyard were getting tired of my passing by now—and climbed up to the bridge.

Horse God Bridge it was called. But the path beyond it, to the left, didn’t lead anywhere except to a nameless little pond at the end of a tiny box canyon.

Hm, but the topo there had a strange symmetry to it.... Maybe it was worth a look, as long as I was there.

I followed the trail and found.... another Fairy Cocoon! :D

Well that was dandy! ^_^

I approached the cocoon. The same low, mournful, distorted voice rumbled out from inside it. But it said....

“Hast thou... I mean... Have you ever felt the pain of losing a horse companion?”

And one half of me thought, Oh my gosh it’s The WAYS!! 8D

And another half thought, No wait please speak all archaic to me, I love it! D:

“Hast thou... I mean... Have you....” XD

I wondered how the original Japanese must have read.

Well, it seemed this fairy had the ability to resurrect any horse companions I might have lost.... but first I had to hand over a thousand rupees. Through a crack in the cocoon, she held out a snappy, expectant hand like the others had done.

I’d done a little business back at the stable, making just over a thousand on my monster parts collection. Easy come easy go I guess. I handed it over.

The cocoon pulsated and rippled apart into a flower, mystical water splashed in its center, and up came—oh this one’s hair was different—no was it a headdress of some kind?—like plates, or scales, shingled over her head—no there were too many pieces, too much to the form—the whole form—her whole body—so textured—banners and braids and trailing things—what shape was this?

This wasn’t like Cotera or Mija.

The Horse God had a long neck like cloth dancing in the wind, and its face was a rustruddy, stylized mask engraved with many designs.... a horse’s face. Rather like the shape of the stables themselves.... And although the face was static, it still moved.... queer little jerks and twists and shakes, like the movements of a bird’s head, though perhaps not quite so sharp.

The hands however were still the same robust, womanly hands with elegantly painted nails.

But the arms....? There was just.... a misty, purplish kind of.... something....

“Ah, if my arms were corporeal, they’d surely be all cramped up by now!” the Horse God said as she.... he.... it.... stretched.

The voice was still low and warbly.

I’ll just say it was a she. And her name was Malanya.

She pondered for a moment on how to repay me before leaning in quite close and saying, “Shall I make you my meal?”

But then she leaned back out with a laugh.... only kidding.... haha.... hahhhh.... .__.

She seemed to read my experience with horses and pronounced me to be in some kind of good standing I gathered.

Well my horses are quite closely bonded with me.

She said if I ever lost a horse companion, she would be able to bring it back for me.

But if she sensed any kind of foul intent.... in the death of my horse....

She leaned in close again, her sharp-nailed hands floating creepily. “Then you shall suffer my wrath!”

o__o

Sounds like she means bidness....

“You found the ways!” David patted my shoulder.

Well, I could handle that well enough I think.

“I found the ways!” ^_^