Maybe the Front Porch

Friday, May 10, 2019 ~ 4

Maybe the Front Porch

Oh gosh where would I pick up....

Okay last autosave.

Please be outside the threshold....

Okay.

I was standing outside the Sanctum. In my Climber’s Gear.

This was. Okay.

Oh my gosh I needed a breath of some real fresh air.

Okay.

Let me think....

No shrines in those upper reaches of the tallest towers. My hopes were beginning to wear thin.

I paraglided off the central Castle and onto the southeast pillar, considering.

Those guard houses maybe.... Maybe? I’d not gone into those....

This whole time I had been combing the Castle from the bottom up. But now, I’d try the closest guard house to the Castle’s front door. I was already pretty high up. I’d try combing top to bottom.

I floated down....

This was the guard house on top of which I’d found a Korok last time.

Bloody turrets....

I hunkered down on a battlement where I could safely see inside an upper window. The interior was thick with Malice and I was pretty sure I could see a mouth. Once I got inside, it would probably start spitting things at me. There were two eyeballs glopped onto the ceiling, but.... they wouldn’t open, no matter how close I got to them, how visible I made myself through the windows.... I would have to—

We’ll see....

I dropped down inside.

....

Okay.

The Second Gatehouse as it was called....

I shot the Malice eyeballs. As I suspected they hadn’t opened until I’d dropped in from the window and hit the central floor.

Also, the portcullises slammed shut.

And the dang little cursed skullheaded things came floating after me—a couple of ‘em had gotten out before I was able to dispel the Malice.

Also, Daruk went off.

And of course he yelled and everything, but that.... sounded like a bigger hit than normal.

And then I turned around and there was a White-Maned Lynel inside with me.

Oh.

One cursed Stalmoblin was still gumming after me.

I killed it.

And.... Then the Lynel beat me up.

For a while.

Oh. The sounds Link made.

Horrible choking gasps....

But I collected myself, got to my feet, replenished my health, and gave the Lynel what for. With the Master Sword.

And then he was dead, and I had his stuff. And another treasure chest with three Ancient Arrows.

My gosh, you think maybe the game is hinting at something?

I always considered my Ancient Arrows too precious and rare to use, but they were certainly as good as growing on trees around here....

However.... that was a different matter.

I didn’t think there was a Shrine here.

....

Dratblast it, if I couldn’t find another one on the Castle Grounds....

....

Where could it be?

....

I wondered if I could run to the First Gatehouse; there was surely something just as fearsome in there, and that attack meal I’d eaten was still in effect. For like two more minutes.

I ran.

Not like me, I knew. The Creeping Mouse, ever cautious. Not like me at all. But it would be a shame to let that attack meal go to waste....

Out in the exposed dun and grey, as I pounded over the dust with no walls around me, two lasers settled onto my back.

They seemed to come from either side.... maybe turrets posted about the Gatehouse entrance behind me.

The angle between the lasers tightened as I increased the distance between myself and my assailants.... but it was not yet so skinny that—

The lasers flickered, strobed, beeped—

I skidded and rebounded off the dirt, doubling back right as the lasers fired.

The blue-white bolts skimmed my shoulders and their combined blasts went off right in front of me.

Rebounding once more, I pressed forward again, through the vestigial smoke and heat—the path had been clear for a good length ahead; I could still run all-out and be fine—

For a while.

I pelted out of the haze and considered the remaining road between me and the other Gatehouse. Another moment and a tall, horny barrier of Malice would give me trouble.

The lasers came back. The angle was too tight to double back between them now.

Be-be-be-be-beee—!

I dashed to the side this time, veering in a hard right angle off to the left; the lasers once again exploded where I had been about to step.

And I was running again. I could see the eyeball. Right in the thick of it. Had to be the one. But.... bad angle. The Malace wall veered, and the eyeball was somewhat secluded, drawn back and hugging toward the right, facing toward the left. And I wasn’t quite close enough that I was confident I’d be able to land an arrow on the first try. Just a few more paces.... Though it was dangerous to prolong the attempt....

I sprinted until I came near enough to the Malice obstruction, drew my bow—already the lasers were—

They got me this time, just after I shot the eyeball.

Get up get up get up.... The Malice was disintegrating. Still, I thought.... no sense wasting the smoldering fireball engulfing me. I jumped, whipped out my paraglider, and rode the updraft from the lingering fire, sailing over the last wisps of the vanishing barrier, toward the other Gatehouse.... out of range. Good.

I touched down safely and ducked beside the stone entrance. No Guardians could see me here.

Now.... What could be in here....?

I peeked in the entrance of the First Gatehouse and saw the Malice Mouth directly above me. It remained dormant, only pulsing and wiggling every now and again with no prey yet trapped in the room.

The time-limit of the Attack effect from that last meal was still counting down. I decided I would dash to the other side, and I did. And down came.... as if from the ceiling....

Heh, I’d hoped it would be you.

Blue Lynel.

The kind against which I’d never gotten to test my mettle.

But I did here. And I was collected. And I dodged his attacks, and flurry rushed him many times.... Until the dang cursed Stalmoblin caught up with me.

But I put it down soon enough and finished off the Lynel. And then shot the eyeball. And then killed the remaining two cursed Stalmoblins.

And the First Gatehouse seemed to be mine. What was in this chest....?

Ten Bomb Arrows. Not bad! :)

Found five more in a chest on the roof.

Aaaaand... A Korok on top of the spire. Just as I expected! I thought in Lloyd Irving’s voice.

The Day The Hero Fell

Waking of Saturday, May 4, 2019 ~ 3

The Day The Hero Fell

Night is falling.

I step into the light....

Fire and Rain.

Guardians.... Guardians.... so many guardians.... so many Guardians, crawling, crawling....

One of them senses.... something....

Zelda and I.... we stand in the midst of this hell.

Filthy and ragged.

I.... am in a bad way.

We are all in a bad way.

“Link, save yourself, go!” The Princess’ hands are on my shoulders from behind as I kneel in the mud before her. We are both filthy and ragged.

My clothes are torn. I only pant in exhaustion....

“I’ll be fine! Don’t worry about me,” she sobs, “Run!”

But I bow my head in pain.... and then struggle back to my feet, hauling myself up with my sword, and stand unsteadily in front of her.

The Guardian sees us in earnest, and comes.

It comes closer, it targets its laser upon us—upon me....

“NO!”

Zelda—

She stands in front of me Princess what are you—and raises her right hand in strong warding and—

That light.

A brilliant, pure, golden light emanates from her open palm, the holy Triforce gleaming through her hand—

And bursts forth in a sphere, ever expanding, light shooting toward the heavens in a rupturing pillar—

And the Guardian stops, freezes up.... and wilts with a mechanical juddering.... And the Malice is purged, cast out of the Guardians all around.... it dissipates feebly into the air before evaporating with an evil hiss.... and the Guardians collapse and die....

Zelda’s Lullaby thrumming through soft women’s voices on an ooh....

Zelda stands bewildered.

“Was... Was that... the Power....?”

Thud.

I’ve fallen onto my left side.

I’m on the ground.

“Oh, no, no!” Zelda runs to me and rolls me to my back, puts her left hand under my nape and lifts me. “Link! Get up!”

She calls my name and lifts me up—I cough—and my eyes open, and I look at her but.... oh my wincing brow and . . . . I am . . . . no . . . . this is pain . . . . this is . . . .

“You’re going to be just fine...” she calls to me, but....

And I groan, but....

But....

And with a last sigh I fall limp in her arms.

There’s.... nothing....

And Zelda.... “No, no,” she cries—

And back down.... my form is heavy and she lays me back down onto her folded thighs where she kneels, her face crumpling into my chest. Muddy boots, gashes all over.

No.... no....

But the Master Sword....

Still clutched inverted in my left hand.

It....

It pulses. Gleams and pulses rhythmically a few times....

And it sounds like.... Fi....

The Princess hears it, lifts her head and sees it.... bright and anomalous in this nightmare world.

“The sword?” Zelda croaks.

As if it speaks to her.

“So he can.... he can still be saved?”

Dares she believe it....

“Princeeeess!”

Two strong Sheikah men come leaping over the field to her. Swiftly in and then quickly knelt down. Ready. Sharp and able. “Princess! Are you all right?!”

Princess Zelda snaps to. She is the Royal Sovereign and she is decisive. She instructs them, “Take Link to the Shrine of Resurrection! If you don’t get him there immediately we are going to lose him forever. Is that clear?!”

The masked Sheikah Soldiers nod firmly.

Her voice is strong. Commanding.

Stronger than I’ve ever heard it before.

“So make haste and go! His life is now in your hands!”

As the last crimson light fades from the ruined Guardian’s wasted shell....

Most memories I only let myself watch once, but....

This one I will spurge it again and again, and crystallize its essence in word.

A Game More Dangerous

Evening of Tuesday, September 4, 2018 ~ 3

A Game More Dangerous

I touched down on the warp pad of the Ishto Soh Shrine, and was met with the buzzing sound of hundreds of flies.

I’d forgotten how much garbage Moza had piled up here.

But I dashed past it all and peered down into the Lynels’ Corridor! I had plans to try out my new toy.... On went the Lynel Mask and Link once again adopted a beefy, stoic stance. X-)

The canyon floor was too far distant for me to make out any creatures prowling along it, and so I relied on the skull stamp I had placed on my map—that was where the southern Lynel would be.

I floated down—there it was—and circled wide, landing some distance further south. Somewhat far away but not too far away.... but pretty far away....

The Lynel still stepped so grandly and paused so ponderously and roared.

And then it turned and SAW ME. FROM FAR AWAY.

We stared at each other. Usually when a bad guy sees its respective mask it starts walking toward you. But neither of us moved. We just stared. For a moment.

And then the Lynel circled round in a canter, faced my way again and nocked a Shock Arrow.

Nope! It was Ishto Soh for me again! I warped the heck outta there! :D

So wow, the mask really didn’t fool the Lynel for very long....

Well they were powerful creatures of many abilities.

But still....

I wanted to try again.

So I ran and jumped and floated down to the left this time, northward toward the mid-Lynel near the base of the Talus’ butte. I spied him as he walked among the baobabs....

With a crunch and a rush I hit the ground running through the long yellow grass. I wanted to get close this time....

It was a White-Maned Lynel, and when he saw my fast approach, he turned to face me, and stood his ground.

I just kept running. If things went south I could always just warp back to Ishto Soh....

The Lynel stood still until I had run right up in front of him, and could physically no longer move forward for his person. He had only looked at me the whole time. The way his head just dropped at the end.... looking down at me....

I was a tiny creature.

We looked at each other only briefly before I walked round to his left flank to see if there was a get on option. There wasn’t. Those zebra stripes. Broad tapers. So high over my head, the body so tall, so BIG. Thick, muscular legs, feathered hooves....

The Lynel turned as well; he wasn’t having me behind him. And we faced each other once more, staring just a bit longer. I was on the north, facing south now. The long south reaches of the Lynels’ Corridor stretched away into the distance behind my.... companion. The baobabs stood in the yellow grass. The Gerudo Highlands glowed bright ruddyrust in the daylight away to my right, the shade of the Zokassa Ridge cooling to my almost immediate left.

At precisely the same moment, I threw the game into a semi-pause by toggling toward the Stasis function, and the White Lynel reached behind his enormous back and fwipped out his gigantic spear.

Oh my.  ._.

I was able to Stasis him and get in a few hits.... But that charm works only briefly on living things, and briefer still on powerful ones.

I could have warped away, but....

Well I did need Lynel bits.... and I was here, wasn’t I?

I stayed.

I stayed, and stood, and fought. And remembering the Shock Arrows this one had pelted me with before, I tried the Thunder Helm for a spell. But apparently the Lynel only resorted to those at a distance, and no range I could give him on the ground would suffice—the ill-defending helmet was not helping. And so I switched to something more justifiable. Real armor. My strongest clothes.

Stasis could only help me so much between rechargings, but I employed it as best I could, capitalizing on every chance to land a Bomb Arrow right between the brute’s eyes. Head-shots dealt double the damage, or so I’d heard and witnessed elsewhere.

This one didn’t stun like the lesser foes did, though. Any Bokoblin would have been bowled over backward with a shriek, and not regained itself for precious seconds....

But a Lynel....

I don’t think he ever even had to shift his footing.

Then again he did have four of them. A leg at each corner. Huh!

I was a mouse to him.

Well the mouse could still bite!

More than once, more than thrice, more times than I counted, really, he sent me flying and tumbling and rolling across the grass with a groan—Get up get up get up, Link!—And I found myself chewing through my stocks at a vigorous pace!

But I gave him his own headaches in return—a Bomb Arrow could slow down a galloping charge! Even if I had to take a bit of it myself at close range—he moved so fast....

It became inescapably dicey however whenever HE BLEW FIRE FROM HIS MOUTH AT ME. The fireballs were broad, far-reaching and enormous, and they set the grass alight all over. Remembering the Big Yiga Clansmen, I used the flames more than once to slip away into the air, a bit singed nevertheless. The Lynel watched me with patient, hungry eyes in one such maneuver as I glided over him, released a Bomb.... and then detonated too early.

Well, that happened sometimes. Good thing nobody else was in the room.

The fire kept coming. I never had the thought of a linear retreat, but rather circled round him in evasion as he kept blowing and blowing and BLOWING! It was deadly and dangerous!—And the best opportunity to get close enough for a strike.

I pulled weapon after weapon from hammerspace as my blades gave their all and shattered in glory. Daruk had leant me three good helping hands that had evaporated pretty early on. And Mipha saved me from the brink before she too had to withdraw her power for a time whose end I would not see in this fight.

But when that monster hit me, ripped me, shredded me so hard that I saw that gleaming little winged orb come swirling up out of my pockets to my aid—

THAT WAS A FAIRY YOU JERK! DON’T YOU KNOW HOW RARE THOSE ARE?

I’d had enough!

I spared no provisions in maintaining my health from then on, and GAVE NO QUARTER in hammering my foe! I did not relent until his mighty, immovable hooves finally gave out from beneath him, and his proud knees sank at last into the ground below his bowing head, wild with mane and horn, heavy with defeat and death.

His carcass was mine.

When I’d pocketed his remains, I looked around at the aftermath of the encounter.

....It was ugly.

The grass was scorched black in great hatching swaths, or shorn clean away in places by blade or hoof. What a ruin. We’d all but burned the whole valley down.

....

It did feel kind of epic, though.

I visited Tera once more in the chill of the desert night to do up my Radiant Gear. The tights were already at level two, but with the shirt and mask enhanced to that level as well....  surely there would be a perk.... I was pretty sure.... it had to be....

IT WAS A DISGUISE I KNEW IT. AND MY ATTACK POWER WITH BONE WEAPONS WAS UP BUT THIS SUIT WAS NOW A DISGUISE I COULD USE TO WALK AMONG STALCREATURES UNDETECTED. I KNEW IT.

AUGH BUT IT WAS TOO COLD TO WEAR OUT HERE IN THE DESERT.

SOON.

I warped to the Deku Tree’s Navel in the three o’clock hour of the morning.... and slept until noon.

GOOD NIGHT.

From: Andrea

To: David

2018-09-04 11:43p

By the way I killed a White Lynel

tonight. On foot. It was ugly. The

whole valley burned down.

From: Andrea

To: David

2018-09-04 11:43p

Love you good night. <3

Campout with Kass

Evening of Sunday, August 12, 2018

Campout with Kass

The storm blew off shingles and knocked the tops off our bottle trees. I hoped Meesh was all right.... She hates stormy weather....

But I would see her safe and sound the next morning.

But tonight.... DANG IT I WAS GONNA GET THAT SHRINE ON WASHA’S BLUFF.

I PARAGLIDED from Satori Mountain down to Kass’s place. I was getting better at covering more distance! I no longer feared missing the treeshroom’s platform—I could land well beyond its lip.

Once there, I camped.

....

And camped.

. . . . . . .

And CAMPED.

I lit fires. I spent flint. And when it rained I lit a fire beneath Kass’s wooden roof. Thing was fireproof, thank goodness. And I dropped something like four separate woodpiles before I found I could just relight spent campfires with a new piece of flint. And when my flint started running low, I switched to Fire Arrows....

And still Kass played his accordion.

For days he played his accordion.

I skipped around the platform to the endless waltz.

I was going koo-koo for cocoa puffs.

DANG IT WHERE WAS THE BLOOD MOON?

I could speak with Kass to quiet him, and then stand beside him after our conversation was over. He would look at me. And I would look at him. Or at Satori Mountain. Or at the sky. Or at the strange lands beyond Tabantha Bridge. But I couldn’t move away and leave him alone or he’d start playing the song again. It got.... kind of.... maddening....

I wondered who would win between he and Guru-Guru the organ-grinder.

Hmmmm....

Kass: V --- | i --- | VII --- | III --- | N6(???) - V7 - | i --- | i64 - V - | i ---

Guru-Guru: i --- | i --- | VI - III - | VI - V - | i --- | i --- | VI - V - | i ---

....Hhhhuh.

Is that even a Neapolitan sixth? Dang I don’t remember my music theory....

Well I guess Kass gets points for more sophisticated modulations.... but I think Guru-Guru’s strong half-cadence definitely makes for a more pleasing and attractive structure.

These are the things you think about when you campout with Kass for days.

The moons came in cycles of eight phases: waxing crescent, half, waxing gibous, full, waning gibous, half, waning crescent, new. I would light my fires eight at a time in rapid succession and sit through the days on Kass’ treeshroom before stopping to stretch my legs and watch for the rising of the moon.... And if the full moon were normal and white, I would warp through eight more night-fires to try it again....

Link doesn’t fall asleep when he is crouching. But I think he shakes a bug or something from his hand....

I had a sneaking suspicion that Blood Moons only manifested on full moons, and so between the fulls of one cycle I took a brief break to try for the Prison Korok again. But the statues’ bowls were just empty. And they wouldn’t take apples then, either. Ugh....

But at least I was free of the accordion for a spell.

I wandered nearer to the castle.

It had a music.... a Piano. I didn’t really get to hear much of what it did; there were other things going on the house. But it just felt.... malcontent.

I don’t know why, but I dared not pass the boundary set by the five Great Stones. Glowing pulsing pink in their sealing Sheikah designs. It felt.... like it would be wrong. Or like it bore the same taint that kept me from ever interacting with that SATAN statue again....

I was very near to one of them.

....

I didn’t want to touch it.

I inspected long-abandoned guard towers along crumbling parapets. Some of them had treasure chests inside. One of them was haunted by a Korok.

Skipping past a Guardian Flyer I scuttled up onto a large rock and stood in the bright, placid day.

I calmly observed the Guardian Stalker in the inner town. It was too far away to react to my presence. Just barely, I think.

A big, bubbly pool of Malice oozed and gurgled below the ledge where I stood. It was piled thick in all directions. I regarded the Guardian again....

If I fell in I would be.... in horrible trouble.

Off to my right was a pool of clear water. There were ducks. And fish. Even here.

I was tempted. To go into the castle. For long, dreadful moments I was tempted. But....

No.

No.

I returned to Satori Mountain and paraglided back to Kass’s home.... and that bloody accordion.

I kept camping.

But I didn’t want to strain my bows or burn through my Fire Arrows to keep lighting campfires.

So I pulled out one of my Meteor Rods.

The fireballs bounced everywhere.

One of them might have accidentally hit my host on the back of the head—I saw his shoulders tighten from behind.

Sorry, buddy.

WHERE THE FRICK WAS THE BLOODY BLOOD MOON??

There had to be a better way to do this—there was a better way to do this—I tried a cycle at Pepp’s, in the Deku Tree’s Navel. I just sat by the fire there, too—it was already made; no flint and tinder off my nose—passing night after night until the full moon night came round again, whereupon I sailed back to Kass’ place and waited for the wheeling of the sky....

But there was no Blood Moon.

ಠ_ಠ

It’s like the game knows.

ಥ∼ಥ

Dastardly....

I went back to the Deku Tree’s Navel and slept until the morning.

Ice and Fire

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018 ~ 4

Ice and Fire

I wanted to see how the Thunder Helm looked on me, but I couldn’t equip it. Mmmm not unexpected, but.... Rats!

I had wondered, after I beat whatever I would surely face in the Death Hole Arena, whether I would be rewarded with something to protect me from the cold, as the only way to proceed from there was to climb above the frost line.

But that wasn’t the case.

Fortunately I had already accumulated just such gear elsewhere on my travels.

And so instead of simply warping back to Gerudo Town I decided to take the scenic route, and hiked further into the mountains. Remembering Vah Ruta and Vah Rudania, and how it was always unsafe to approach too near to them.... I just wanted to see if I could traverse the ridge lands before Vah Naboris took a permanent perch somewhere.

I chased my Shrine locator for a while, until I encountered the largest single block of ice I had ever seen. Two dancing Ice Wizzrobes guarded it—from a high ledge, I took the first down in one shot with a Fire Arrow. The second was a little farther away and I missed a couple of times.... but at length he went down, too.

The iceblock was huge. But I was positive that was where the shrine was. I shot a Fire Arrow into its face.

Nothing happened.

Well, the arrow burned against it for a little bit, but.... afterward there was no difference that I could discern.

David insisted it had done a little to melt the ice, but....

I didn’t have that many Fire Arrows.

I paraglided down and cleaned out the immediate area. How was I going to do this....?

I laid down some wood and flint, and struck the flint with my blade—a bright blaze flared up.

The frozen monolith stood solid.

What in the world was I—wait.

I held very still and looked carefully....

There were some subtle variations in the ice’s surface—drippings. And a tiny bit of steam clouding up into the air. But the ice—

There it was. Barely discernable, so slow it almost couldn’t be seen, the face of the iceblock slowly began to shrink away from the flames. And there on the ground! There was definitely a space growing between my woodpile and the foot of the ice.

But it was going so slow....

This needed more fire; I laid down more wood and flint partway around the side. But it was still too slow.... So I started another campfire around the back.

The speed of the ice’s melting was picking up, but....

It seemed a bit of patience was required to solve this puzzle as well.

The ice had receded so far away from my first campfire, I wondered if it was still having any effect. I didn’t want to build another fire.... though I could certainly spare the materials. I was just being stingy. I only like to splurge when I’m hunting big game and Guardians.

My fires burned all night long, and when the sun woke up soft and turned the snow all to roses, the iceblock’s mass shrank past its last vital threshold, and it steamed and melted away in a final watery sigh.

The Shrine of Kuh Takkar stood before me.

Kuh Takkar himself spoke to me twice.

Huh, no monk had ever addressed me twice before. He said something like “Offer me a block of ice and the way will open.”

Or some such words.

Well then! I had a look around. There was an—ice cube dispenser.... heh.... in the middle of the room, and all around seemed to be one long, upward ramp that passed through all manner of fire hazards before reaching the monk’s platform.

“My gosh, I feel like The Mosquito Coast!” I hollered as I made another attempt. A couple of times, there was nothing for it but to pass through the flames. My FlameBreaker Armor protected me, but my iceblock kept getting smaller and smaller....

It was just enough for Kuh Takkar when I reached him, though, and he gave me his Spirit Orb. That made seven of them I had. I needed to pray....

The Piano's Rival

Waking of Saturday, June 2, 2018

The Piano’s Rival

David was with me when I started up in Kakariko!

He’s always so far ahead but now I would show him something he’d never seen or done before!

Maybe a few things! :D

Those Guardians would have come back after the Blood Moon—I went out back and approached the one in the Pit. And when I paraglided down to the little hilly rockpile, below the line of safe escape, facing the monstrosity even as it glowed hot angry pink and lasered in to take careful aim at my heart and the Piano pounded indignation at this brazen affront.... David could not believe what I was doing.

BUT I HELD MY GROUND!

Careful now.... CAREFUL NOW....

“What are you doing?” David gasped.

The targeting laser steadied, the Guardian beeped.... beeped....

....

. . . . . . .

BEEPED . . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

It always took longer than you thought or wanted . . . .

But it was not until the FLASH—and absolutely no later than its first shining—that I swung my shield as the blue-white bolt of death-made-light came streaking in an instant up the field!

KHING!

And the satisfying slow-down so that I could see the reflected bolt almost frozen in the air, bounced back, its trajectory sure....

“Whaaaat?” said David.

And the normal flow of time resumed and the Guardian took the hit in the face!

“WHAAAT?” said David.

And then, riding over the deadly triplitive Piano came a swell of Strings, shining against the terror, just for a moment. At each successful hit they came back, breathing cool strength into the sound. The Guardians were not the only terrors to be reckoned with on this earth!

And this time, my Perfect Parry really was perfect. And in three hits.... the Guardian was down.

MAN THAT FELT SO GOOD! As I sailed down to collect all the bits left behind! So many gears! ^_^ So cool.

And what was more.... when I checked my inventory.... MY SHIELD WAS STILL SPARKLY!! 8D I’d come in with a new shield—and the Perfect Parry had upheld its quality, prolonged its life!

AWESOME! XD

I climbed up over the PitGate to see if I could sneak up on the other.... and we saw it creeping around below, quite close to the vertical rockface. I paraglided down.... and landed on its head.

“David! Look!”

The Guardian continued to crawl around, flicking its juddering, hundred-year-old gaze over the grass. Evidently it didn’t know I was there.

But every time it started and turned and started again, I had to readjust my footing on top of its can-head, even as Link bent slightly in that spring-ready stance he takes whenever an enemy is near....

Got kinda tricky when the Guardian wouldn’t get away from the wall, and started tipping....

Oh my gosh.... XD

I hopped down at some point and tried to have it out proper with this one too, but—

Well, my practice wasn’t perfect yet.

In the rolling confusion of close fire I warped away to the Wetland Stable....

That one was close enough to the Honeydell....

Deepest Woods

Afternoon of Saturday, February 24, 2018, noted the same day, written and edited properly beginning Tuesday, May 29, 2018, and I am pained

I am so, so pained.

Deepest Woods

It had been too long.

Too long.

I started my game. David was with me.

I was on top of the Dragon’s Head, the giant tree breaking through. The Spring of Courage, that’s where this was. The soothing spring music played; some ringing, resonating, sustained thing that I cannot name—somewhere between harpsichord and glass armonica—only rolling through clustery chords that felt nevertheless.... unhurried.

It’s a restful fill for the air.

What was I doing here again?

I went to my map. The blue ribbon of the dragony river grinned at me.

Oh yes. I remembered. I was looking for Mister Hestu. Fooling myself he was in Faron Woods.

All right.

It was time to get serious and find him.

I had already completed a quest for pants; and now the game was late; I really needed to go questing for pockets before I had no room left for anything.

I needed Mister Hestu.

And I knew where to find him.

Somehow, in my heart.... I think I’d known for a long, long time.

I warped to the Woodland Tower in the treacherous bog, and paraglided thence down into the path running hard against Death Mountain’s foot, upward into the hills, into the trees, in between those grassy shelves where I had first encountered wolves....

And I passed through the grey-walled bottleneck, down into the grey-green, living softness, and the light dimmed with the curling mist, and the Piano came to heel.

It was quiet.

Although I was cautious, I proceeded with a slowness borne more of reverence than of fear. This was a momentous place.

The torches were in plain view and easy enough to see, clear and empty swaths of grass or bare earth between them as they led round tree and hill and boulder, twining deeper. I always followed the embers. The tiny, glowing specks from one torch always seemed to drift toward the next. I did not stray from their path this time, but was strict to adhere to the zephyred directions.

There were a few animals about, a fox, some deer.... Once I even thought I heard the yawning squeal a wolf makes when it stretches. But I dared not pursue any of these and risk losing the path.

And then I came to two torches standing near each other, their parallel embers blowing away into dank and tangled woods where there was no other light to be seen.

For how bare and sad and dead so many of the trees looked, stark and naked, it was amazing how dense the place still felt.

I walked on, following the course of the twin ember trails, and just tried my best to keep moving in a straight line. There were no more obvious borders to keep me in line, like rocks and banks. There was only the close circle of ground about me, defined by the mist, and.... the trees.

The terrible, terrible trees—

Brreep-brreep! went my Sheikah Slate! o_o Gave me a bit of a start, but.... well that was something good at least!

It continued to beep as I kept moving ahead. I thought about turning it off; the forest didn’t seem to like it. But.... I let it go.

The larger trees took on.... a terrible look. Great twisted cracks in their barrel trunks like grimacing mouths with teeth.

Then the mouths began to gape....

I hid in one of them briefly, all full of the willies.

After a moment I climbed out again, and came to a clearing.

Which.... direction was I going in? I turned....

“Are you lost?” said David with a grin in his voice.

I walked back to the maw-tree, tried to line myself up.... The mouth had been unseen just around the right side....

I walked to the clearing again.

Those two trees there.... looked sort of like a gate of some kind....

I kept walking, right beneath their touching boughs. On and on I kept walking, the incessant brreep-brreep from my Slate doing me no psychological favors in the listening dark.

The clock in my HUD told me that it was nighttime, but I wondered if a bright shining sun would have made any difference here.

I kept going. Straight line. Brreep-brreep. No deviation.

And then, as the morning came on.... perhaps the sun did make a difference. Or perhaps....

The fog at last began to thin, and there was music: the doppelganger of Faron Woods—Skyward Sword’s Faron Woods, the Kikwi Home—it sounded so similar but I just could not place how it was done.... or perhaps was only too bewildered and bewuthered to think about melodies and chord progressions.

Warmer colors began to appear, sun-yellows and honey-browns and flowers.... The wildlife was no longer furtive and afraid. The birds chirped and the leaves sang.

Korok Woods was this place; the name gleamed over the screen.

“Are you serious?” said David.

And there were Koroks in plain sight! Not hiding! :D

“Do you know how many tries it took me to make it all the way through?” Or some such words.

Apparently he’d been watching me the whole time just grinning with anticipation for when I would.... when I would....

Well I didn’t experience it, whatever it was, so I’m not sure how it would have gone. I just made it end to end in one go. But I guess he’d had a harder time, and kept being transported back to the beginning of the Woods. I remembered the screen whiting out, and that childlike laughter....

He told me it took him forever to figure out the embers. HA! But that was such a Zeldic device, David! If I may make up words. XD

Well, like I’ve said before: sometimes, where I suck, David excels, and where he sucks, I excel.

What a team.

A few steps more and I seemed to enter a new wood proper. The trees looked healthier here. And the Koroks were soon all around me—though any particular one would disappear if I ever got too close. Heh.

And a few steps more again, and I caught sight of the tall, bobbing figure of Mister Hestu over a rise to my right! I’d found him! It’d been so long since I’d seen him that I’d almost forgotten his face....

And I did approach him, and we did visit, and he was happy to see me again, as I was to see him. And I did upgrade my carrying capacity. I upgraded the CRAP out of my carrying capacity. Weapons, bows, shields.

But there was something else further up the path.

Just a few steps more ahead.

Over the little stepping stones in the water.

Right there.

Right there.

Blue Bedlam

Waking of Saturday, October 28, 2017 ~ 5

Blue Bedlam

The tack the stable gave me for Dragmire was.... exquisite! Guess they had to make it specially for him, as he was so huge. Heh, bright orange tassels to match his fire-bright mane and tail.... cool.

But there was one more thing left to do that would make his appearance perfect.

I boarded my new giant steed and warped back to the Outskirt Stable. It was Dragmire I would take out past Digdogg Suspension Bridge and into the desert; that was only fitting. But first....

I took Dragmire back out, and walked him over to the girl by the manger.

She was going to give my horse the Mohawk befitting the lineage of his grandsires.

The girl automatically began to ramble off her spiel asking if I’d like her to do up my horse’s mane and tail, but she stopped in mid-sentence.

“Whoa!” she said, looking up, “That’s no pony you have there, is it!”

She remarked on his size, and said she wasn’t sure they had any implements big enough for him, and went on to mention that he didn’t seem like the type to enjoy having his hair messed with anyway.

:c

So....

No Mohawk for Dragmire.

Hhhhhhh.

I looked at some of my other horses.... changed Memory’s braids to a single French braid.... yes that looked good.

I guessed the Dark Horse was too special to mess with.

Well.... that was fine, Nintendo.

I’d still take him out into the desert lands—his desert lands—as I pressed forward in my journey.

....

Or I would, in a little bit, anyway.

Satori Mountain was glowing again.

Back went Dragmire into the stable, and back I warped to the high, cold peak of Satori Mountain.

This time I scrambled all the way to the top of one of the three stones at its crest, giving myself an open view into the high clearing.

I felt like I’d stepped into a Studio Ghibli film.

Blupees pattered around everywhere, taking slow little hops and sniffing the airs, the grasses, each other, their ears perking and twitching. They seemed drawn in toward the center, toward the perfectly round pool beside the cherry tree, but they would not touch or enter the shallow water. The sight of them—twenty at least—ringing the edge of the pool, gleaming like lanterns in the ghostly teal haze.... was striking.

And standing once again in the water.... the blue beast. The Lord of the Mountain.

I paraglided in this time, and landed on its back.

And it dawns on me, the brazen disrespect my avatar must have for these holy mystical creatures.

Unsurprisingly, it began to buck and kick. But to my amazement, the unmistakable Soothe-button icon appeared.

I pressed it. Repeatedly. I patted the creature’s neck and murmured soothing sounds, but my stamina was burning away fast.

And I had no more elixirs to extend it.

The Lord of the Mountain bucked me off and vanished.

The Blupees scattered where I rolled to a halt off the side of the pool. I rose back to my feet, exhausted, wondering if I’d blown another opportunity.

But the teal haze did not dissipate. Before my eyes, the blue beast rematerialized in the pool, standing peacefully as it had before, pawing the pool’s shallow bottom and dipping its strange head.

It was not facing me—otherwise I think it would have bolted. I think it also helped that I stood several paces away from it.

It stood in perfect perpendicular profile to me.

Was it a mount? Or was it game?

Maybe it was remembering how ineffective my previous sword strokes had been that made me draw my strongest bow and nock a Bomb Arrow to the string.

I overestimated the arc, and the arrow just shaved the creature’s back before detonating on the far side of the pool.

There was lantern-blue bedlam on the mountaintop. The blue beast bolted, evaporating into thin air in a heartbeat, while the Blupees darted confusedly in all directions.

And yet, after a moment had passed and the rabbitkabobs had calmed down.... the blue beast appeared yet again.

This time I didn’t miss. But there was little difference to the result—the blue beast, now on fire, turned and ran, disappearing in mid-stride as it had before. The Bomb Arrow had not been able to fell it.

And this time, the ghostly teal haze did evaporate, the night became clear, the Blupees were gone.... and I was alone.

Guess it’s three strikes and you’re out.

Something glimmered on the far side of the pool.

I walked across the shallow water to find.... rupees.

I guessed I’d blown up a few Blupees with that first Bomb Arrow.

I pocketed the money.

....

Is that why it’s spelled Blupees and not Blupies?