Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

Waking of Friday, November 16, 2018 ~ 2

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

From the Maka Rah Shrine....

Tera. I went to Tera.

I had two Naydra hornshards now.... I could have upgraded my Champion’s Tunic.... if I wanted.

....

I DID. I UPGRADED THE CHAMPION’S TUNIC, and finding myself in possession of further required materials I KEPT UPGRADING UNTIL IT WAS AT ITS MAXIMUM LEVEL, WITH 32 DEFENSE! MORE THAN TWICE WHAT IT HAD BEEN AT BEFORE. AND I UPGRADED THE HYLIAN CLOTHES. AND THE ZORA AMOR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR SINCE I HAD SIXTEEN CORES NOW. AND THE DESERT VOE GEAR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR AGAIN BECAUSE ON THE NEXT AND FINAL UPGRADE EACH PIECE REQUIRED A STAR FRAGMENT AND TWO GIANT ANCIENT CORES. And well.... I just happened to have SEVEN GIANT ANCIENT CORES ON ME. And if I hadn’t been saving them for this.... then what?

UPGRADE ALL THE THINGS.

AND EVERYTHING HAD BEEN CAST TO THE BACK OF MY INVENTORY.

AND ALL MY FAVORITE CLOTHES WERE OFF THE FIRST PAGE.

AND EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF ORDER AND WOULD TAKE FOREVER TO MANEUVER BACK TO EVEN SOME SEMBLANCE OF ITS FORMER STRUCTURE BY FAIRY-ENHANCEMENTS ALONE.

IT WAS ALL OUT OF ORDER.

AND THEN.

I SORTED MY CLOSET.

SORTED SORTED. And it was done now. Couldn’t undo it.

It was done.

And that was all right.

Hoo. Andrea: 1, OCD: 0.

I went to Kakariko to test my maxed-out Guardian Armor, but stopped to talk to Impa on the way. I tried to get that orb in her house again, but no, not yet, she still wasn’t having it.

What happens when you bring it to the pedestal up the hill?

Hhhhh.

I guessed I wouldn’t find out today.

So out the back I went, onto the Sahasra Slope; and a sharp left turn and a hug along the cliffs brought me as always to my favorite monster to milk: the Pit Guardian.

Once I’d attracted its attention, and the terrifying Piano began ripping up the sky above my head in a panic.... I stood my ground, and waited. Facing it.

I let it hit me full on once, in my Ancient Armor. And the hit took off.... five or six hearts.

I’d seen Lynels take off more than that in a single hit.

Well that was cool! :D

My curiosity sated, I killed it.

And it gave me a Giant Ancient Core back. Part of the Ancient Proficiency perk? Maybe.

Ah, life was good.

Shortly thereafter I was distracted by a star fragment that fell into the central plains. I went to get it and came back via the Dueling Peaks Tower. I killed the other two Guardians near the Pit—and the freakin’ stalcreatures were out and making life difficult—but DANG the sound my glowing sword made when it killed was like THUNDER.

RESOUNDING.

POWERFUL.

MY GOSH.

Feeling brash and bold and amazingly confident in my armor and with my parrying skills and wielding the Master Sword, I worked my way back infield and onto the plains. I was going to go to the ranch! To see what was there.... Maybe another horse! Maybe another special horse!

I forgot the Guardians and whatever paltry bother they posed! I was comin’ up bold as brass! I killed the Guardians that spotted me! AND dodged those freakin’ pesky mounted Bokoblins!

That one Big Yigaman posed some problems; I was fighting with him when I again heard the Guardian music! I killed him quickly, and then faced the mechanical menace. It was hard and I took some blasts to the face, but I got him in the end....

NOW to the ranch....

But oh, wait.... my controller was in the red.

....

I could have used the Pro Controller.... David favors that one, and I’ve used it a few times.... like whenever my battery’s run low.... But.... Hm, maybe not against Guardians yet....

I set the WiiU Controller in its cradle, and.... dozed.... on the couch. It was late. But I didn’t wanna let it sit for more than an hour, or it would turn off.... dozed.... dozed....

And I SNIFFED AND SAT UP OH I WAS TIRED.

Ugh—

I couldn’t do the ranch right now.

I warped to Pepp’s. Slept and saved it. Went to bed.

That was enough.

The Measure of Creation

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 3

The Measure of Creation

That light—it was definitely a fallen star. If I could just get to where it was in time....

I ran along the high southern bank, rushing for a better view.... There! It was in the wetlands. A warp to the shrine there, a dash through the shallow water.... and it was mine.

Yes!

I looked about me. It had been a while since I’d visited the wetlands. And I was still short on Lizalfos tails....

I hunted them as the day was long.

[Masks are SO handy!]

Still, the element of surprise could only help me so much when it was a Silver Lizalfos. For there were silver ones now, and they were exceptionally strong.

But one good thing I noticed was that these new silver ones were much more willing to part with their tails upon defeat! Excellent. And so I very slowly began to regain my supply....

I was using the Master Sword more and more. And it wasn’t always pristine, and sometimes its power faded completely, and I had to let it rest and breathe.

But I was using it.

I was letting it fulfill its purpose.

And that was all right.

When I couldn’t find any more Lizalfos to fight, I turned once again to the loose Guardian Stalker, donning my double-upgraded Ancient Armor on the approach....

And when I killed it this time.... I wasn’t sure if it was just me, or if it was my armor’s Ancient Proficiency perk at play.... but it seemed that the defeated Guardian dropped more ancient parts than usual. Including a core!

I wonder.... Is that what the Ancient Proficiency did?

I continued to wander all over the wetlands, finding a few more Lizalfos sequestered here and there, scaring up more Koroks, and discovering that the giant water buffalo grazing around were most definitively unrideable. I took a few hits from the great brutes in my close-quarter attempts, but that didn’t keep me down for long. I was bolder than I had been before. Very much so. In my brazen meanderings I even killed the red Hinox before its music could even start up. David remarked on this with an incredulous scoff, and I kept my cool like a boss.

I also began to put into practice one more secret the Master Sword held. Actually I don’t think I would ever have discovered it had the loading screen not mentioned it in passing.

I don’t often throw my weapons, see.

But if you used the same button that would throw any other weapon, with the Master Sword in your hand.... and if you happened to have full hearts and health....

Well, I suppose the result would just stand to reason! for anybody familiar with the Zelda Universe. For myself it was only a surprise until I thought about it for a moment.

I stood at full power, and swung my sword, swung the Master Sword as if to throw it.... and out shot a swirling blue-white bolt of my own! 8D

How far it could travel before disippating depended on how many hearts I had.

But DANG! XD

It was so awesome to fire lasers.

At one point, employing the projected energy to break open ore deposits, I thought I had solved the problem of ever damaging another hammer again. But even without making physical contact, using the laser still sapped the sword’s strength.

I had run it clean out of energy twice now....

Huh.

Well that mechanic never came up in previous games.

Ah well.

When the wetlands were quite empty I decided to take a break on the Hinox’s island, and take a few pictographs of my various weapons for the Compendium.

The Master Sword wasn’t the only thing running out of juice; I puttered around a little further, cleaned out a little cave I found of some treasure....

Hm, perhaps the controller battery was feeling a bit lowly, too.

I took a break.

I went to the fridge and took out the very last bit of Mary’s cake that I had reserved for myself and no one else—it had been my birthday after all.

I had a seat at the table with a nice glass of milk.... and ate the Triforce.

It was delicious.

Unwarranted Reserve

Waking of Friday, June 29, 2018

Unwarranted Reserve

Mary and Dorothy were over, and they wanted me to play, but I didn’t want to do the main quest.... And so from a save I had cast at the entrance to Chief Riju’s palace, I warped to the Forgotten Temple, and PROCEEDED TO CLEAN—IT—OUT.

It was awesome. Always good to get more practice in parrying Guardian shots. c: ....Though I must say it does tend to run my shield supply down right quick.... :c It’s harder when they’re far away.... and Daruk’s always having to help me.... I find the timing much easier when they’re.... hahhh.... RIGHT ON TOP OF YOU. 8(

It was a lovely hard drudge pushing the infestation out toward the canyon.... but well worth it. Did you know there are treasure chests down there in hidden cavities beside the air-fountain cracks in the ground? Rich ones, too! :D To say nothing of the treasures of Ancient Tech leftover from the slain Guardians.

It was nice to have my own run of the place when they were all gone. So spacious and cool.... It must have been a retreat most beautiful and serene once.

I paraglided back to the giant Goddess statue at the back, and offered a long overdue prayer, to receive another Heart Container. That was nice. :)

That particular exercise bumped me up to twenty-two gears, and so it was time for another visit to Robbie’s place.... and Cherry.

I spoke to her and she beeped and bwopped and I got through her menus and I scrolled down and—

....

I could get the pants. If I wanted to.

I could afford them.

But.... wait.

I quickly warped to Kakariko to check with Cotera, to see if there were anything else to which I could put my gears.... Oh, what was I thinking of? The difference betweeen a strong but partial set, and a weak but complete set? The Great Fairy told me what materials I needed.... But it looked like the higher Ancient upgrades would require more cores.

And I was short on cores.

....

Sooooo I warped back to Robbie’s, spoke to Cherry, dropped another great honking wad of cash.... and got the Ancient Greaves.

I had the set! 8D

My gosh when I put them all on I looked.... all dark and awesome and intimidating! ^_^ Especially when I put on the helm and you couldn’t see my eyes. X-)

So cool. XD

I had enough lesser parts to have Cotera upgrade my new Greaves by one level. But I only had two Ancient Gears left, and would not be able to upgrade further until I’d done a little.... mmmm.... shopping.

Or rather, a lot of shopping. A lot of shopping between Dueling Peaks and Hateno, looking for Teli and his miraculous wares....

I also took a moment every day to check with Hino in regards to the next Blood Moon. But I never did catch him at the right lunar phase.... there was a shrine waiting for me on Washa’s Bluff, I was SURE of it.... If I could just be there on a Blood Moon Midnight....

One thing I was very happy to discover was that, if I found Teli on the Hateno road, and it happened to be raining.... to lift the gloomy mood he would put out all his best wares! Including gears and cores! 8D

Ah, the rain in Hateno would be so sweet to me now....

....

Hateno Rain should be a song.

. . . .

Didn’t the Hateno Rain so depress and spook me once?

.  .  .  .  .  .  .

I do believe it did. Back on that long, weary road punctuated by my first Yiga Clan encounters.

Ah but I needn’t’ve let the rain spook me anymore. I was braver now, and the road was haunted anyway, rain or shine.

Because.... the Yiga were attacking me in the open now.

I guess my little trespass in Satan Canyon and the whole incident with Kohga must’ve.... not sat well with them.

I’d be jogging along a path, and that telltale orange glow would coalesce off to one side or another, that wicked cackle would clatter through the air.... Once in the bottleneck west of Teli’s Slope, I employed the Meteor Rod to fend off a Yiga Clansman, and the ricocheting fireballs nearly killed us both.

Travel was going to become a whole lot more.... interesting.

....

Well.... they wanted me to go full Curare—

I’d go full Curare.

I visited Kakariko to buy some carrots for one of my upgrades, played an arrow game for one Rola, and as long as I was there, decided to visit Impa.

She saw right away that I had reclaimed the Master Sword—my sword, she called it—and impressed upon me that Princess Zelda had sacrified everything to protect that sword and me, and told me not to forget it.

Well that was a sobering note.

Hhhh, in truth, I had not been using the Master Sword much, or at all. Barely.

I hunted Lizalfos, I hunted more Guardians....

Maybe I was subconsciously treating it like one of my other special weapons, like Mipha’s trident or Daruk’s hammerclub—no wait did I even pick that one up? I never used them because I wanted them to last, to stay pristine. They took up my pocket space.... If I bought that house in Hateno, would I be able to stow them there?

I bought more gears and another core. Or two.

I knew the sword wouldn’t break like any of my other weapons. I knew it could briefly lose its power.... But I had never taken it to that point. Why was I leaving it alone so much?

I showed Nebb the Duplex Bow. He gave me fifty rupees.

There’s a good lad.

I suppose there was the point that some of my other weapons were, in fact, stronger than the Master Sword.

But why was that?

I hunted still more Guardians.

I had seen David play, and his Master Sword had a damage-dealing level of sixty.

But my Master Sword.... had only a level of thirty.

No but sometimes it glowed with a brighter strength and a higher level....

No but then it was weak again.

Why did it do that?

Not that thirty was all that weak, mind; for a single-handed weapon that was pretty good....

But why did it change?

What was the pattern?

I visited.... Kaysa, to upgrade my greaves one more time; I had amassed the ten required gears. She kissed her giant finger and bopped me with it in a small explosion of magical dander, and that brought my third of three Ancient Armor pieces up to level two....

I put them all on.... Full sets of clothing that were double-enhanced came with a perk.... usually....

And this perk was.... Ancient Proficiency?

What did that even mean?

Or was it really a perk after all? Or simply a pronouncement of my own skill? I’d killed a lot of Guardians to get this far....

I supposed I’d find out soon enough.

I checked with the Great Fairy to go over my shopping list: Naydra horn, Molduga fins, diamonds, and cores.

I’d just figured Naydra was the name of the third dragon, the one I had not met.

For surely there must be three.

Well, I knew where to find the diamonds easily enough, and warped to Zora’s Domain. But before I found Ledo, I came across Prince Sidon not on his usual balcony above the square, but down near the fountain, before the statue of his sister Mipha.

I heard him murmuring to himself.... or to her....

“Mipha, are you still inside the Divine Beast?” He looked so heavily pensive. “Are you aiding Link in his fight?”

And then he turned—

“Link!” He started at the sight of me. But he made no pretenses. “So you heard that, huh? I’m afraid you caught me in a moment of vulnerability.”

He said.... something more, about his sister, though I don’t remember the words.

He was just a man missing a loved one.

And that’s all right.

“I’m sorry you had to see me in a weak moment,” he finished, or some such words, and I moved away.

Everyone’s weak some time. Even the Prince of the Zoras.

Even my sword....

Sure, I wielded it now, but did I really own it?

I needed to figure this out....

I found Ledo, traded him some Luminous Stones for a Diamond, and saved.

Necluda's Backyard

Waking of Saturday, June 2, 2018 ~ 3

Necluda’s Backyard

I didn’t have enough cores on me to get the Ancient Greaves from Cherry. But with twenty-three gears.... I was able to have Cotera upgrade my Ancient Helm and Ancient Cuirass.

Funny how I could just blow them all like that. I guess when terror and difficulty no longer affect the value by creating rarity and scarcity.... Hrm, then again with a more ready supply for my demand maybe I could even make a little cash on the side....

But I never really studied economics.

I needed to get to the desert, but I only warped to Dueling Peaks. I don’t know what it is—sometimes I just like to take my journeys in smaller steps.

However this does make it easier to get distracted. After learning from Hino that there would be no blood moon tonight, I went inside the stable and spoke to a couple of guys I hadn’t interacted with in a long time, but whose facial animations I just really enjoyed: Domidak and Prissen, twins I think, brothers at least, stood in the back of the stable musing on some mysterious clue they had heard regarding the hidden treasure of one Misko.

I remembered. They would tell me the clue if I paid them a hundred rupees. When I’d talked to them the last time, which was also the first time, I blew them off right away! I didn’t have money to just throw around!

Well, now I did. I paid their silly price and they told me the clue, something about the little twin over the little river, and that the treasure was at that river’s source....?

A glance at the map told me all I needed to know: the Big Twin and Little Twin Bridges were just a stone’s cast south of the stable.

One sizeable climb up a waterfall later and I had found Misko’s treasure: a few fine ore samples, and no shortage of rupees.

Nice.

As long as I was so high up I decided to have a little look around, and kept climbing the mountain. The peak didn’t seem too far distant, and I was betting I’d find a Korok at least—which I did.

I also found that I was a little bit off my charted map.

I did not know the name of this mountain, but it certainly offered me some great views, particularly of the red plateaus beyond Faron Woods. I could even see a Blue-Maned Lynel prowling around the top of one broad butte, roaring in the rain. I Stasised him for kicks before marking his location on my map; I’d have to be careful when I ventured out that way—

AND THEN OF A SUDDEN FAROSH CAME FLOATING UP OUT OF A SMALL LAKE. I watched him arc smoothly into the air to swoop low over the watery valley between the red buttes.... and then descend into another small lake on the other side.

And then after a while, he flew the same graceful path in reverse. Heh. It made me think of something playful, jumping from puddle to puddle, only greatly slowed for its enormous scale.

And then after a time, he emerged from one of the lakes, and took to the sky.

David had never seen him do this before. But I had.

We watched him for his whole, long, slow flight, up into his vortex of cloud far away above the distant sea....

I only guessed it was above the water for the marker I stuck to his tail just as he was disappearing; it showed up on my map pretty far to the south....

David enjoyed the rare sight anyway. :)

But now.... I really did want to be on my way toward the desert.

I’d thought about seeing if I could paraglide all the way back to the stable from the heights above the waterfall, but David suggested I go straight down and keep to the cliff’s edge along the river on my way out. There wasn’t even a bank down there that I could see.... But, trusting in his tidbit, I performed one of the more thrilling HALO-jumps I’d ever done and pulled up on my paraglider just short of smattering all over the large stone at the waterfall’s base.

Link’s got good arms.

I waded downstream until I came to a little stretch of explodable wall! This I removed with a Bomb I let float down the current toward it, and when I came round to see what lay beyond the opening, I was shocked to discover.... a Shrine!

And then I remembered my Sheikah Sensor had still been tuned to detect Hearty Bass.

Heh. Silly me.

I switched my Sensor back to detecting Shrines, and then stepped inside this one, the Toto Sah Shrine. There were Apparatuses inside. Uh, Apparati?

At any rate it was a most engaging challenge. And when I was done I combed the little woods nearby to see what I had placed stamps there for—I was rather at the limit of how many stamps I could place on my map, and wanted to get rid of what I could.

I found the treasure box I had marked, but I could not make sense of why I had placed a leaf stamp nearby. I removed it anyway.

Aside from that, the only other interesting thing I found was a Stalnox lying facedown under the sunshine. I decided I didn’t want to hang around for when that thing woke up, and so made my way back to the Dueling Peaks Stable via the adjoining Valley of Terror.

I find myself no more struck with incapacitating fear in the face of Guardians.

I can handle them.

When I finally got back to the stable, and told Domidak and Prissen that I had found Misko’s treasure.... they didn’t believe me.

Eh, that was okay.

I’d gained back more rupees than I had paid them for the clue.

I rode Brown all the way to the desert with only a few more stops along the way—grabbed a Moblin Club to show Nebb in Hateno.... almost rode right by an embattled Mils and Mina.... but turned around to make sure they were all right anyway.... And they were.

It rained a lot.

Eventually and on the last legs of my battery, I made it to the Gerudo Canyon Stable, where I saved, and quit.

Turning the Tables

Waking of Thursday, May 31, 2018 ~ 2

Turning the Tables

Many, many moons ago, before any moons I could remember, before moons were moons, I hurried with a shake from the cold and entered into the Keh Namut Shrine, high on the Great Plateau, and found myself face to face with a three-legged devil terror that wanted to kill me.

It was only the second Guardian I had ever faced, the first having appeared before me in the Shrine of Oman Au.

But in engaging that second one.... somehow....

....Somehow I blocked that one with my shield and learned something called the Perfect Parry.

Hopefully I’ll be able to employ this more purposefully in the future....

That was it....

I checked my list of skills. It was actually called the Perfect Guard, but I think I preferred the alliteration.

That was it. That was what I was remembering.

I.... had never taken the time to finesse my swordplay—I’d always imagined I would, in the future, at some point....

But I never had.

But now....

Well I wanted to show David something but he wasn’t coming and I dared not do anything important in the meanwhile but I could go hunting because I needed those gears for the Ancient Cuirass—

AND I WAS GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME FOR THE PRESENT ANYWAY.

I needed gears. And only Guardians had gears.

So....

Up to my aid came the memory of an accidental parry, and....

I wanted to test it.

I wanted to try doing it on purpose.

Perhaps it had only been foolish to think of making the attempt in the middle of that basement full of nightmares, but.... where could I....?

I knew.

Back to Robbie’s place—The Decayed Guardian down the hill would suffice for the experiment. I floated down to say hello....

I.... stood my ground.... and held my shield....

No was it a two-handed weapon in my grasp? What was I doing—Daruk’s protection wore thinner....

I had come in too fast without a plan—And then as I could not take much more I made a dash for the other side of the stone, falling shamefully back to a panicked mashing of buttons.... I was Z-targeting, but I was facing away. The blast came. Daruk roared again.

But—

....

And the Guardian died?

How had—?

Was it because the shield had been on my back?

That happened to me in Majora’s Mask.

But if the shield were not actually deployed (for it was a Guardian shield)....

....

This needed more practice.

I collected the Guardian’s remains—there were no gears.

Cheapskate.

I was out of Ancient Arrows anyway. I didn’t want to go charging up against any more Guardians, decayed or not, without some backup. So it was back to Robbie’s again, where I bought ten more arrows. But I only had eighteen or nineteen gears. Not enough for the Cuirass.

Soon.... VERY SOON....

I warped to Kakariko Village—there were a couple more fairly manageable Guardians near there. I wanted to see if I could get more gears, continue practicing the Perfect Parry and, if need be, put my new arrows to use.

Oh my gosh I was hunting Guardians.

My first target was that one in the pit out back, at the top of the Sahasra Slope.

That first live one I’d ever seen....

Where was this Courage coming from?

....

I guess.... the lightning strikes near you often enough, and makes the earth to shake....

At some point you just stop trembling.

....

But you try not to get struck nonetheless.

My timing was very much off, and I lost my footing in the fireballs. One laserbolt destroyed my Guardian Shield and I had to switch to a Knight’s Shield—It wasn’t Ancient Tech; would it work the same?

This was a dangerous skill to practice; there was no padded training arena for this. But Daruk protected me. And Mipha kept watch.

I managed to take the Pit Guardian down using only the Perfect Parry followed up with normal arrows to its eye.

I slew a Guardian without an Ancient Arrow.

And the second one just through the PitGate and out on the grass was almost as manageable! But, as Daruk became exhausted with my poor sense of timing—and, as I also lost my Knight’s Shield to a laserbolt—I did use an Ancient Arrow to finish that one off.

Two Guardians with one Arrow. Heh.

I made one last stop at Cotera’s to see if there were anything I could upgrade—turned out there were—I bumped up the defense on some of my Circlets.

And then it was back to Robbie’s once again because those two Guardians out back of Kakariko had bumped me up to twenty-four gears!

I HAD ENOUGH GEARS FOR THE CUIRASS!

AND CHERRY MADE IT FOR ME!

KhuAGH! My wallet!  >⩄<

But it didn’t matter—I had enough rupees—and now I had two of the three pieces of armor that would defend me from my deepest nightmares!

DANG it, Nintendo! I said it before! Why do they do this!

The only way to acquire the thing that would make your most dreaded trial more bearable.... is to first complete your most dreaded trial without it! OH you cruel ironic building my character so I can—hrrmph!

Back to Cotera’s and I upgraded my new Cuirass, for there were no gears required for the first level. Plenty of lesser parts, but I had enough of those to spare.

There were gears required for the second level of upgrades: ten gears per piece for the Ancient Armor set. I assumed it would be the same case with the Ancient Greaves. After the twenty gears it would cost me to acquire those in the first place....

These things were so expensive.... and not just in rupees.

But.... I was getting better.

Soon I would become better still.

A Blood Moon rose as I ran around Cotera’s forest.

More gears would be ready and waiting for me to collect them.

SOON.

I just needed a few more shields. Mine were running out pretty quick.

The Most Dangerous Game

Afternoon of Tuesday, September 19, 2017 ~ 2

The Most Dangerous Game

Out back of Kakariko on the Sahasra Slope, before I met the Bokoblins, I actually took a detour over toward the west. The very first Guardian Stalker I’d ever met was over there, safely down in a dell where it couldn’t reach me. And now I was armed with Ancient Arrows, and a little more experience.

I once again practiced my aim with a few normal arrows before shooting off an Ancient one; and again the Guardian’s life meter emptied in a heartbeat, as it shook and rumbled and collapsed and exploded to the ground.

And it left me Ancient Gears! 8D Why, if I could harvest these Guardians all right.... I’d be well on my way to a set of Ancient Armor!

WHY do Zelda games DO that???  8C

You want the item that makes Terrible Thing easy! Or easier. But the only way to GET said item is to do the Terrible Thing without its help! So that once you acquire the item, the item which would make the Terrible Thing more bearable—YOU ARE NO LONGER DAUNTED.

RURGH it is a WICKEDLY devious method of conveyance for the life lesson that you don’t need the magic feather.

BLAST THEIR MAD GENIUS.

Where the heck was I?

I was killing a Guardian.

I killed the Guardian, collected its spare parts, and ventured down into the dell. I was sure one of the big boulders down there was a Talus. The place was too rocky and open to not be a stage for a boss fight. But none of the boulders I jumped on jumped back at me.

At least, not until I was done exploring and accidentally jumped on just the right one on my way back out of the dell.

And this one was tricky in that its vulnerable protrusion of ore was situated somewhere down near its butt. It stuck out from a surface upon which I could not maintain a footing. I did the best I could with leaping blows from above and below, and eventually the brute went down.

I would have gone straight back to the slope to test out the mask on the Bokoblins after that, but I was further surprised by another Guardian. Another Guardian Stalker creeping around near where the first one had been. Out of the dell this time.

You know, in hindsight, I really should have marked my map with their locations.

Fortunately, habit saved my skin: I was once again keeping to the high ground, and on my grassy upper shelf I hugged the mountain tightly to keep out of the second Guardian’s line of sight.

But somehow, many paces later as I came near the road back into Kakariko again.... the needle red laser found me, the Piano threw a fit, and that Guardian Stalker was coming for me.

I turned to face it, jogged a little away from the cliff. Kept my feet moving.

It still walked as its targeting laser bored into my shirt. Just coming right up to me.

I kept moving—the laser beeped—I dashed to the left.

I had never dodged one of their attacks on foot before.

Leastways not without some cover.

But I saw the blue bolt shoot past me away on the right as I ran away from it, a perpendicular course.

Had I been in some magical Goldilocks Zone of the Guardian’s range? Not yet crossed the deadly event horizon of its targeting laser acquisition speed?

The outside of a record spins faster.

I didn’t think about it. I just nocked an arrow as the Guardian drew closer.

Did I even have time to practice with a normal arrow?

Yes.... yes I think I did make it stutter with a hit to its eye.

And then the Ancient Arrow.... and the Guardian crumbled and rolled down the hill. And I ran to collect its sprawling spare parts. More gears....

I killed a Guardian on open ground.

Just me and him. And I came out on top.

I could kill Guardians.

After I went and sported with the Bokoblins in my mask, I warped to Robbie’s. I was over budget on gears now. That Ancient Cuirass was as good as mine.

But as I looked at Cherry’s wares, I considered. Items of clothing for some parts of the body have a generally higher defense than those for others. Some items of clothing come with special perks. I had come seeking the Ancient Cuirass, but.... would that really be the best choice?

I also considered what materials were required for Cherry to make me more Ancient Arrows. Because I was definitely going to be wanting more of those in the future. Ancient Shafts.... What was my budget there?

It’s tough to go shopping when there are so many different flavors of what can act as currency, and the arrays of what they can purchase so varied and yet overlapping.

In the end the most economical and perk-preserving choice seemed to be the Ancient Helm. The Champion’s Tunic was still quite strong, and it granted me the ability to see my enemies’ life meters. Some Ancient Shafts were required for the Helm’s construction, but not so many that I couldn’t put the balance of what I had toward the purchase of five more Ancient Arrows, for the bulk-discount price of *cough* four hundred rupees. @_@

Eric Sorenson would be proud at least.  :|

Heh, the helm looked.... unearthly! My eyes were covered.

Actually it looked like—

“Hey, I look like a Shrine!” I said to David. ^_^

The top of the helm did come up in that distinctive shape. And the bottom fringe had bright blue little circles all around it, with a slightly more prominent one front and center where my eyes would have been. My hair hung loose in a shaggy golden mane, longer than I’d thought it was.

Actually I thought it looked kinda cool. XD

And so after that it was a warp to the Lomei Labyrinth, a paraglide over the court, and a quick dash into what I believe was the selfsame hole I had hidden in last time.

The Piano heralded the Guardian’s approach, and I let it draw near, and took it down just the same. More gears.

That was my original four Ancient Arrows spent. Five fresh ones left.

As long as I was on a roll, I decided to press my luck, warp to the Akkala Tower, and attempt to take on.... a Flyer.

It was pouring freezing rain when I got there.

I switched to my Warm Doublet, and considered the encircling fiends.... One Flyer’s patrol took it time and again to the dead end of one lonely turret of land that stuck out toward Zorana. Some forgotten bastion with a few crumbling ruins on it—and a few trees for cover. I’d try that one.

I leapt from the tower and paraglided over the Flyer, briefly wondering what would happen if I just dropped down on top of it....

Eh, another time.

I headed for the little row of trees and waited for it to come back.

Rusted cannons still stood faithfully in the pouring rain.

Uh.

It’s a special kind of dread, getting ready to make yourself seen....

The Flyer came back and just got hoppin’ mad when it saw me. When it drew near I took a few desperate practice shots, but the angle was difficult, and the Flyer was too close for me to dodge its first blast. Took out more than half my hearts. But I got up again and nailed the thing with an Ancient Arrow....!

And its life meter only half emptied.

Already it was finding me again, charging up—oh dear.

Mipha had to come to my aid before I was able to hit it again and bring it down completely.

So it took two shots to kill a Flyer.

Well that was good to know.

And now I had three Ancient Arrows left....

....

Maybe in the future I’d just try to stick to the crawlers if I could help it.

Those arrows were expensive.

There's Something About Cherry

Waking of Sunday, June 4, 2017 ~ 2

There’s Something About Cherry

When I first spoke to him, Robbie was skeptical of my identity. It wasn’t until I stripped to the skivvies so he could see my scars that he believed I was the Champion Link. Though the Shrine of Resurrection seemed to have healed many of them over.

It turned out Robbie and Jerrin had a fifty-year age gap between them, and they were married. They also had a son, Granté, whom Jerrin had asked if I’d met anywhere. I said no, but.... hm, maybe he’s that plume-haired Sheikah I see painting around the stables sometimes.... didn’t commit that one’s name to memory....

Jerrin seemed like an upbeat lady—she even did a pretty funny impression of Purah! Striking a pose, doing fancy jazz-hands and grinning, “Check it out!”

Robbie seemed very pragmatic, and quite the go-getter. Talked about defeating the Calamity as if it were a difficult shopping trip I’d be taking on the very next day.

Well, I appreciated his optimism. And expectation.

And then there was Cherry.

Cherry was actually the first thing I had seen upon entering the Akkala Ancient Tech Lab. It was that big pot-bellied machine. Kind of a dark, grey-green-bronzy color with Shrine-blue highlights.

I learned Cherry was named after Robbie’s first love, and that if Jerrin ever heard Robbie call it that, she would start yelling and throwing things. And so Robbie had taken instead to calling it simply “The Ancient Oven” or something like that.

The only problem was that the laboratory’s furnace wasn’t lit, and so Cherry wasn’t functioning.

Which meant it was time for me to take a walk.

Akkala seemed a pretty hilly place.

Well.... most places in Hyrule seemed like pretty hilly places.

But this instance was just ridiculous.

I’d gotten outside and found a clear spot where I could take a look around (there were so many trees). And there I could finally see the burning blue of the Ancient Furnace on a nearby hill to the west—that was the fire that could get Cherry up and running. And as I moved toward it, nearing the edge of the hilltop where the Tech Lab was, the parallax of the geology revealed a little dip in the land between the two hills . . . . no, a dell . . . . no, a gorge . . . . no, it was . . . .

I came to the edge of my hilltop and looked down. A river ran way down at the bottom of a huge chasm between me and where I wanted to go.

“What,” I said, and looked at my map.

That was a lot of topo lines.

There were no high bits connecting the two hills, and their inward-facing sides were sheer; it was like a miniature Dueling Peaks. To get from one to the other, I would have to pick a trail, north or south, and descend down almost to the level of the river in a wide arc.

Robbie had a torch in his house, but I didn’t want to drop any of my weapons to switch out. There were a lot of Moblins down there.... Maybe I could just steal one of their clubs whenever the spear I was using gave out. Or find a tree branch. There was no shortage of trees.

This fetchquest was a bit more.... involved than the one at Hateno Village had been. The land was so folded and twisted, I decided on my way to the western hilltop to mark the positions of the intervening lanterns between the Furnace and the Tech Lab. And then there were all those Moblins.... and Keese.... and Stalthings.... Ugh, the road was peppered with them.

And on the way back to the lab I wished I’d grabbed Robbie’s torch! I should’ve known Moblin Clubs weren’t meant to stay lit for long. Or tree branches for that matter. But I made do.

Except when it rained. Then there was nothing for it but to wait it out near the last-lit lantern, and beat up any monsters that got too close.

During one long shower I actually decided to go a bit ahead and clear up some of the Moblins in my way. One of them I took out playing Bomb-Golf, but the other....

Well, I tried bombs again, but I guess I was too close. I dropped it in the grass and backed up, waiting for him to approach.

And oh, he approached all right, and just as I was about to detonate, he kicked the bomb back in my face!

My finger was already going down on the button!

Ja Baij doesn’t distinguish between friend or foe.

Ja Baij just makes stuff splode.

I took the blast right in the face—I think the Moblin caught some of it too—and corkscrewed back through the air in a sailing arc to land in the wet grass and roll to a stop.

“Oh man!” Ben laughed.

I laughed too. Impressive....

Freakin’ Moblin.

I got back up and let him have it with the sword instead, and he went down.

Finally the rain cleared up and I was able to carry on from the lanterns, and light Robbie’s furnace with the ancient flame, so that inside the laboratory, Cherry the Ancient Oven powered up.

It seemed Cherry had the ability to forge Ancient Materials. 8D

But they were a little expensive. :c

Cherry needed ancient parts to start with, and Robbie needed rupees. They needed the funds to continue their important research! he insisted.

I looked at what all Cherry could offer me.... Ancient Arrows, Ancient Spears, Ancient Swords.... weapons.... shields....

But I could feel how impermanent everything was.... That was a lot of rupees for something that wouldn’t last forev—

Ancient Cuirass?

Why that was.... that was armor. Ancient Armor.

And there was a helm and some greaves to go with it!

And they had a resistance to Guardians!

Cherry could make Ancient Armor.

That wouldn’t be so impermanent! :D

The armor pieces were still deucedly expensive, though. At least a thousand rupees a piece, plus more ancient cores and ancient gears than seemed possible to acquire and still go to bed happy.

Which gave me another horrible feeling deep in my gut . . . .

Cherry in essence seemed to function like a shop. A merchant.

She required both money and materials in exchange for her wares.

Those materials . . . . Ancient Materials . . . . came from Guardians.

Cherry didn’t seem to have a limit to the number of items she could forge.

Which meant . . . .

The game . . . . surely had to provide allowances for the player: No limit likewise to the number of Ancient Materials to be collected.

Which MEANT . . . .

Ancient Materials had to be harvested from somewhere. Indefinitely.

My Guardian-Slayer heart still fluttered high, and wanted to stay there.

But I couldn’t help but feel an inescapable premonition about the next Blood Moon . . . .