Rhoam's Gift

Continuation of Friday, May 10, 2019 (including raw note editings from April 5, 2023 through April 10, 2023 that I really hope sound consistent because I left it alone for too long)

Rhoam’s Gift

I leapt off the Observation Room’s balcony, due south for Castle Town.

It was night.

The Malcontent Piano was different at night. Only fitful, having nightmares.

Back in the town I was showing David the terrifying trick to Stasising sleepy Guardians and making them fall into oblivion.... when there was a Blood Moon.

The unholy smoke was so unwelcome as it began to drip up from the ground. In a place like this.... I was on the fountain in the ruined central square when midnight struck.

“Not like this,” I imitated Dean’s voice.

When the warning vision faded and I came back, one newly revitalized Guardian targeted me. I killed it before warping to the Plateau Tower.

I went to the Temple of Time to pray, but received no answers about shrines.

I climbed up into the Temple’s high chamber, but King Rhoam wasn’t there.

So I went to Rhoam’s old house. There was.... a chest.

I blinked, and opened it.

A Warm Doublet?

I.... I have his Warm Doublet now.

I looked at the Old Man’s Diary on the table:

Link...

Oh.

Bit by bit, you may come to realize who

I am. I am sorry for not revealing my

true identity to you sooner.

Have I.... seen this before?

The truth is, after you awoke from your

long Slumber of Restoration, I did not

know how to tell you all there was to say.

Read more:

Perhaps deceiving you was not the right

thing to do. Still...you must admit I put

on a great performance!

Heh, you sure did. Had me fooled, that’s for sure.

But all joking aside...what I ask of you

is of the utmost importance, dear hero.

I implore you, with all my heart...

defeat Calamity Ganon and save

my precious daughter, Zelda.

I understand this is no simple task I am

asking of you, but I know beyond a

shadow of a doubt that you can do it.

I.... have faith in myself too, it’s just....

I do not doubt it for a moment. I see

courage in your eyes, just as I did

100 years ago. I believe in you, Link.

....Thank you, King Rhoam.

Read more:

Ah, yes, one more thing. I have left the

warm doublet here as a gift of sorts.

I’m sure it will be useful on your journey.

Heh, wish I’d known to come back here, back then.

You can also weather the cold with

cooking alone, but I caution against it.

There is no time for recklessness.

Good idea.

We are all counting on you.

....

That was all there was.

....

I could sleep in his little hut if I wanted to.

Hm but I did need more arrows.... I got down to nine for the first time in a long time.

....

I’m just gonna go plunder every town I know for arrows.

I hit Kakariko and cleaned it out.

But at Hateno.... I actually decided to make another stop first.

My closet was in a precarious situation.

I had two Warm Doublets.

And that terrible Sort button loomed threatening to wreak irreparable havoc on all my perfect messy piles.... I didn’t want to lose track....

So.... I decided to go to the Dye Shop, so I could differentiate Rhoam’s gift from the other Warm Doublet.

....

Good gravy. I have never logged about Hateno Village’s Dye Shop.

Well, Hateno did leave me with such a sour and sullen flavor when I first rode in. All these people.... So contented. So convenient. So wrapped up in their yarnball world of happy colors when there were terrors hunting the unwary on the road, just outside the gate.

Hunting me.

Hunting anyone I cared about.

Didn’t they know there wasn’t a thing I didn’t cherish?

Maybe that’s why it was such a pain.

I followed the thoroughfare until I came to the paint-splotched building with the big open wall like a garage. I had passed it many times but never gone further than chatting with the proprietor.

Ah, Zunari, from Wind Waker. That’s who he looked like. I remembered.

No, wait—researching—Doc Bandam, excuse me. That’s who he looked like. The Chu Jelly Shop owner.

But this man’s name was Sayge.

Hah, a colorful name.

“You can’t miss him,” his clappercalling wife had always told me when I passed. And she was right. Just a little way into the building and—the color, the face, the forehead, bare knees, that garish lava-pink combover—had he dyed it himself?

He wore a leather apron over what appeared to be his bare chest, and hanging in its row of loops was an assortment of vials filled with different colored liquids. Splashes and stains of different hues smattered his attire and the workshop at large.

I’d never given this place a try. The taste of the town was just too sour in my mouth when I’d first rode in, on that rainy day so long ago. The unfeeling, heedless color of the place.

Though.... perhaps I oughtn’t to have expected the world to turn for any misery I suffered.

I wanted the man’s service now. I wanted Rhoam’s Warm Doublet to stay its original friendly green. But the one I purchased.... Well, I went to see what Sayge could do for me.

“Hue do you do?” he started off.

Oh boy.

Well at least he loved his work.

It seemed clothing could be dyed for 20 rupees a pop, but it also required me to bring some ingredients of my own.

Well, my pockets were certainly full enough; I didn’t anticipate running tight just there.

Sayge also told me it was the tradition in Hateno to dye a person’s entire outfit, from head to toe, all at once.

Oh gosh, then these splatters on the wall—I wondered. Was he going to blast me with some kind of pressure hose?

He had me stand in a large empty quarter of the room at any rate, and—oh, but the menus were generous in letting me see what different colors would look like. And there were quite a few of them to choose from, too!

The menus also allowed me to get into my inventory to change or rearrange my outfit if I wanted—because it seemed when I previewed a color, the projected outcome of the dye-job was reflected across every item I were wearing.

They really would spray everything at once.

So, I stripped off my pants and whatever was on my head until I stood there in the single, thick winter doublet and nothing else.... except for those first sleek blue undershorts I’d had from the Shrine of Resurrection.

It looked.... kind of ridiculous.

I tried to imagine my Hylian Trousers or the Snowquill Trousers still on me, as I cycled through the different colors for the Winter Doublet.... Some colors looked better than others. Why does navy seem to be so universally appealing? But grey looked nice, too. But.... mmmm.... cold....

I took the Warm Doublet I purchased, and chose.... white.

Oh, but Sayge still needed ingredients from me.

And again the menus offered me all kinds of free-reign; I could even still cancel back out if I wanted—

It’s just that the service seemed so scarily final. I mean, yes, this was just one spare Warm Doublet, but some of my clothes I had worked incredibly hard for!

Who could ever do this to his clothing?

Hhhhh—I flicked through my items. Everything I could use for white dye stood out strong; the rest was greyed out.

Flick, flick, flick.... I scrolled through the pages. Lynel horns? As dye!?

The nerve to even suggest it! Those were hard-won!

I guess they were certainly white enough, though.

How interesting.... the entire spread of everything that Link could carry in his inventory.... That the whole of it should be further engineered to provide a balanced rainbow of hues. Apples for red, rushrooms for purple....

Amazing.

I needed to provide five ingredients, and my store of White Chuchu Jelly was ample enough for that. I loaded up my arms with the stuff, and Sayge took my money. No turning back now.

This was it.

My first time dying something.

“All right then,” said Sayge, “hold on to your britches!”

Uh?

I’m standing there.... holding the Chuchu Jellies.... the camera looming in like a cat out for mischief, while the Piano wound up like a ticking bomb, and then....

The floor fell out from under me! And with a gasp and a start, Link fell into a big VAT below and poof!—

....

I stepped out from the glittering cloud as it dissipated, and looked down at myself.

My clothes were magically dyed.

....

Never done that before.

That was....

Well....

....

Never done that before. XD Heh, delightful.

Sayge complimented my outfit, and then I learned—he could change back any dyed item to its original color if I wanted? For 20 more rupees....

HOOOOO what sighs of relief were mine!

Then, I could try things out with no worries of losing any original coloration forever.... albeit a bit expensively....

Well that was good to know!

Wish he’d let on about that a little sooner....

Ah, delightful and lulzy.... But now.... really I needed to stay focused....

Back to arrow-shopping.

....

....

.......

. . . . . . .

Dang this game preying on my girly need to try on clothes.

NOT RIGHT NOW I need arrows.

LINK IS A MAN AND HE NEEDS HIS ARROWS.

FOR KILLING THINGS.

....

Went to Goron City, but no arrows there. Just some Sugar Cane and Goron Spice.

Went to Gerudo Town; always a good supply. I also stopped at that jewelry shop and got the Opal Earrings and the Amber Earrings. Just because.

Just because of all the outfittery on my brain? I wonder....

Went to Outskirt Stable and found Botrick nearby; bought all his arrows....

When did I start running out of juice?

I warped to the Sho Dantu Shrine and made for the head of Satan Canyon, and the Yiga Hideout. But in going through it I only found that it was eerily empty. What was I looking for?

Could I even tell anymore?

The place was creepy, and so I decided instead to go scope out some cliffside scaffolds on the north side of the Gerudo Highlands, which I didn’t think I had explored before.

But I didn’t find much. Just some ‘Blins to kill, and wolves like gangbusters.

....

I’m going back to the Old Man’s Hut.

I made the old Warm Doublet, the one I had just dyed white, Link’s new pajamas. Those and his Snowquill Trousers. I took everything else off.

8:45 pm.

Slept until the morning.

Good night.

 

 

Last Corners

Friday, May 10, 2019 ~ 5

Last Corners

Back to the Outside Track.

I followed it counter clockwise again. I was almost to the entrance to the Dining Hall. There’d be Moblins in there—

Ah—phoo, I’d forgotten that stretch. That stretch of road just off the Dining Hall, that stretch where a dead Guardian had fallen down from above right in front of me before.

It just did it again.

Ahahah....

Now I was back inside.

I wanted to see if I could reach the Malice Balcony. It had been blocked on the west side.... and completely shut off on the south side opening. I had to be able to reach it from here, from the east....

I made it through the Dining Hall, down the corridor to the left, and to a doorway that led into the room below the balcony, some antechamber.

There was Malice blocking the way here, too. But this time there was an eyeball. I shot it, and the way cleared.

The room beyond was new to me.

There was a Moblin. Right in there to the right, squatting at rest on the floor and facing perpendicular to my entrance.

I walked in with my mask. I thought for sure—for SURE—he would see me, but.... Dang. I mean, I stepped into the room right at his 10:30, but he never stirred. Not when I crossed the threshold, not when I walked slowly along the inner wall, further down his left side. Not when I passed his 9:00, nearly brushing his ear. I came all the way down and back behind him.... and sneakstruck him in one.

Well at least it was quick.

Now, the balcony....

A broad and perhaps still handsome staircase led up to the south, opposite where the Moblin had been squatting. No Malice blocked my way here; the path to the last room was open. I started up the red-carpeted steps.

Another Moblin waited at the top. Oh this one saw me all right, as I came straight up his 12:00. And like they do, he started at my mask, and then began lumbering toward me to investigate this new, tiny brother.

I let him come down and draw close, maneuvering him onto lower ground before—“Don’t try it....”—dispatching him on the staircase.

After this I ascended further, but did not leave the mouth of the stairway. There was an eyeball up there, high and away on the far side of the upper room.

My Royal Bow was extremely damaged. But it had at least one shot left in it, if I could be sure not to waste it....

I took aim before the eyeball could spot me, and—“Royal Bow.... fly!” I urged it. And the arrow struck true, as the bow shattered in my hands.

And the eyeball shriveled and died.... and the Malice evaporated.... and I could see....

The rain.

The Observation Room this was called. Fitting.

A crumbled statue of the bird motif from the royal crest, its wings spread back and wild, stood on a plinth in the center of the room.

It must have been handsome once. Was this.... a stylized Loftwing?

I went up one of the smaller side-stairs, which led to the upper platform, and outside. A Thunderblade was embedded in the high, central floor, but I had no room to carry it. I did have room for the bundle of arrows I found just over the threshold, however. Handy.

And that ridiculous longshot Korok was still there. Yeah don’t think I’ve forgotten you, you little guttersnipe.

But....

My gosh, the view.

The balcony was splendid without the wall of Malice choking it closed. This really was a spectacular vantage point from which to look out over the castle grounds, and the town below. How green and alive it might have looked once, with birds chirping and people milling.... soldiers’ armor clinking.... wagons rattling.... melodious voices....

....

The giant gate, on the earthbridge over the moat, had closed its doors again.

The Guardian Flyer still circled, ready to murder in a dun world.

....

The grey waste of Castle Town looked inviting. To escape to.

How ridiculous.

...

I.... don’t think I can find another shrine inside the Castle Town.

....

How am I to do?

....

....

I consult my map.

I think I have visited all the inside areas of the castle.

Observation Room, Guards’ Chamber, the long corridor down to the Grand Staircase, and back to that Shaft Room, the West Passage on into the Lockup.... And on the east side from the Observation Room.... the Dining Hall, the other little Guards’ Room, back into the Library, leading off into the East Passage, and down to the Docks.

And Zelda’s Chambers isolated high on the west side.

....I’ve been everywhere inside.

And a fair number of places outside.

....

I don’t think there’s another shrine in here.

My fear was that it would be like the Toto Sah Shrine, which I did not recall hearing my Shrine Detector brreep-brreep about. Hidden behind that rock barrier below Misko’s Treasure Cache.

But another thing I did not remember about that encounter was whether or not my Slate was even set to detect Shrines at that moment.

Would I be able to hear a hidden shrine?

I don’t know.

....

I’m really low on arrows.

Revali.

Take me outta here.

Clean Up The City

Friday, May 10, 2019

Clean Up The City

I warped to the Shrine of Katah Chuki.

....

I’d really rather just go from there without breaking tone but I feel the need to provide what is probably necessary context for the ones who haven’t spent so many hours playing the game nor noting where the different shrines are—Katah Chuki is in the quarry very near to the castle.

Pay attention.

*AHEM*

I warped to the Shrine of Katah Chuki.

Shouldn’t it stand to reason?

I was gonna clean up this town.

The Piano was so.... malcontent.

I stood on top of a rock and considered the Guardian down inside the wall.... for a long while. It didn’t see me.

“You could just go right down there and.... laugh it right in the face,” Dad suggested.

I took a second’s pause.

“Okay,” I said, and paraglided in.

We had it out.

I killed it.

And I did clean up the town. One Guardian at a time. Though I still avoided the flyers if I could help it.

The Stalkers in here were sleepy. Stationary.

So....

I tried that scary thing I had seen in a gif:

I crept closer, and closer, and closer to one that was sitting so still, and then Stasised it. And during the brief spell when it was completely frozen I ran forward toward it as fast as I could, into the range where it would have otherwise noticed me!

The golden Stasis-charm broke, the Guardian woke up, swiveled its head in the brief moment and—sure enough??—it.... it rolled right over and sank into the ground. Gone.

....

The laser’s needle end blinked on me for a bit. !??

Then it was gone.

????

I spun in all directions. Where did it go?

“If there’s a wasp in the room I think I ought to know where it is!” I shouted when I turned back around and could find no trace of it.

....

I think I sank it into oblivion.

It was tempting to get closer, to go deeper, faster. But as I kept checking my surroundings with my Stasis, I could see which Guardians, legged or decayed, were alive, and I didn’t care for how thickly they were set about the old town ruins.

I didn’t want to divide them.

I circled wide several times, to flank them instead—Dad reminded me of the military operations term. I know, Dad. <3

I cleaned up as I went, my circumnavigation bringing me toward the south end of town. The city wall near the main gate had little guardhouses in it. There were shafts in the wall through which to shoot arrows, and little stairways and ladders leading up to the battlements.

Koroks hide in the weirdest places, man.

There were Malice eyeballs in the town too, and I had to circle a bit tighter to kill those; due to their orientation, they could only be shot from the inside, toward the Castle.

I followed the winding little street ruins, or climbed over blasted walls where I could or dared.

Killing Guardians.

And shooting the eyeballs that guarded the main road. Their Malice was clumped in broad, horned barriers all along that thoroughfare, straight through from the very front gate of the town, near the Sacred Grounds.

Speaking of which, I killed some Guardians outside the town as well, and when the daylight was right, I retook that pictograph.

My first pictograph shot in the Sacred Grounds had been hurried, and uncomposed, due to a stray Guardian’s laser having tagged onto my shoulder, and a terrifying lack of experience on my part to deal with them at that time. But now, I had cleared the ground, and I could take my time.

There were clouds, which was not perfect.... but perhaps it better reflected the age I was in now.

I got the pictograph, headed back inside, and continued to clear out the town. I cleared that place out GOOD.

And now.

I turned toward the Castle.

Yes.

I was going to walk in the front gate.

Ruins and Remnants

Waking of Saturday, November 17, 2018

Ruins and Remnants

After I’d had a good sleep, I went back to the field.

Heh, I kept thinking of it not as the central plains but as The Field. Like Hyrule Field, from Ocarina of Time. Because there was a feature I’d seen there ever since I had downloaded the Central Map from the Scary Tower: Ranch Ruins.

I went there now, and cleared it out. Just a couple of Bokoblins, albeit they were mounted. But for those kinds I’ve become quite fond of simply Stasising them in midair while their mounts ride on, right out from under them. Makes them easier to deal with.

I guessed it made sense that there would still be horses around this place, too.

Those two brutes and a Guardian later, and the Ranch Ruins were mine to regard, alone in the quiet.

Oh my gosh it looked.... I could see the similarities. The big, once-fenced horse pasture, with the racing track around the outside. The remains of the silo across the way. The place where the cuccos lived. Even the red tile roofings were still here, all collapsed into the dirt.... Oh my heart.

That was poignant.

Also, when night fell.... I found another stalhorse.

I guessed that made sense too.

Partly with the aid of the skeletal mount, I worked my way further around the central plain. Just killing Guardians, exploring ruins.... There was a Mabe Village, there was some kind of garrison....

I moved up toward Castle Town, and remembered that Korok on the western side, in the prison, the one that I could never figure out. Maybe I could give him another go....

I warped to that shrine in the cave on the very western edges of the castle’s territory, and worked my way inward, dodging the Flyer, killing the Stalker.... until I came to the old prison. How many times had I been here? Four?

The little statues stood patiently waiting as always. Two of the three little offering platters once again held Rusty Shields. Tricksy little punk Korok was still throwing that curveball, eh?

Well.... I would just look a little harder this time....

And I did.... AND IT WORKED! I found a Rusty Shield over by a ruined wall beside the moat! And dropping it on the third platter, I got the Korok Seed! Yay. ^_^

That loose end taken care of, I started thinking of what other little chores I could tie up.

....I had pictographs of all three Leviathans now—I warped out of Castle Town Prison and went to the Serenne Stable to find those guys again.... I remembered, they were in Serenne, not Akkala....

But I paused for dinner before I spoke to them.

And then after we had eaten, David wanted to have some time on the game. So I watched him play for a while.

As it turned out, that map-creeper had been spying on me for shrines now that I had passed him up! Every time I’d looked at my map, he’d been studying it for the shrines that I had and he didn’t!

The nerve! XD

He got some shrine that I’d already done; I can’t remember which, and a little while later.... I picked up the game again.

At the Serenne Stable, I finally got back to those three men loitering near the manger. I’d never bothered to commit their names to memory; one of them might have been Akrah....

One of them saw my pictograph of the Gerudo Great Skeleton, bleached by the sun and mired in the desert sands, and he exclaimed that he was so happy because now he’d finally be able to prove his theory that the great leviathans’ extinction was caused by a massive drought!

The next one saw my pictograph of the Hebra Great Skeleton, entombed and encased in the heart of the icy mountain, and declared that now he would finally be able to prove that it had been a mighty ice age that had wiped out the leviathans!

The last one saw my pictograph of the Eldin Great Skeleton, weathering away on Eldin’s Flank at the base of the fiery Death Mountain, and pronounced that finally he had definitive proof that the leviathans had all been killed by a catastrophic volcanic eruption!

I.... kind of shook my head with a weary grin and didn’t argue with any of them.

I just accepted the cool three hundred rupees they gave me for my trouble, and left them to it.

On to another loose end....

I guessed I couldn’t really say anything about David spying on me for shrines.... because I then went after some of the Koroks I’d seen him get!

Back to Hebra I went, scouring that river that fed into the Shrine Under The Hill—the Koroks were really thick along there. So were the Icy Lizalfos, but I made do well enough.

I wandered more and more southward, catching Koroks by the butt-ton, until.... Hey....

“I’m not freezing!” I said to David. :D

The mercury had indeed risen, I could no longer see my breath, and my cheeks and the tip of my nose no more blushed at the stinging cold.

I had come to some large stretches of bare rock over which the snow had no hold, and I was grateful for the chance to switch to my more protective Champion’s Tunic, and especially the agility-boosting Climber’s Bandana. It was a great help in climbing some rock faces in order to dive into a Korok’s lily-pad circle in a large, natural water pocket—whose contents were also safely temperate to boot. :)

The Divine Beast Bird wheeled so close overhead now....

And away in the distance I could see what MUST have been.... Rito Village! 8D Houses like Kass’, all forested up and down that mighty rock spire I had seen!

And just down the cliff from where I was.... a Stable! ^_^

But.... I didn’t go there.... not yet.... not yet. It needed a proper approach.

I whisked away instead to the Central Tower for more Koroks—for from what I’d seen when David was playing, I had missed a few hiding in the scattered copses of trees just south of the ruined Castle Town....

And as I hunted the little sprites I pondered back on the leviathan pictographs I’d shown to Akrah and his friends. And I wondered aloud to David that there seemed to be a shrine at each skeleton except Eldin.

And then I said, “I should not be saying this out loud.” But David never minded.

I’m not sure what David thinks, but.... I have my own suspicions.... Maybe it will be the last shrine that appears there, beneath the Eldin Great Skeleton. The one that has.... those things in it. Dang you, internet.... Or was it Madman Joseph? I can’t remember....

In looking at my map I suddenly saw the little white icon and realized—“Oh shoot....”—I’d left Memory standing outside the Serenne Stable. I warped back there to board him again; poor thing was standing out in the rain.... I’d left him out after taking his and Dragmire’s pictographs for the Compendium. Evidently White and Giant horses registered as separate breeds, or separate enough for the Compendium to give each its own entry.

Hmmmmm....

Of course it was possible there was a discoverable shrine at the Eldin Skeleton after all.... and I just hadn’t been able to turn it up.

Ummmmm....

Vah Rudania.

I donned my Flamebreaker Armor and warped to the top of the volcano.... but—and I knew this would happen—I touched down on the side opposite where I needed to be.... and the Divine Beast perched in the way of my taking the short way round; the game wouldn’t let me get too close to it....

And so in only a minor huff I about-faced and began circling the caldera, sailing from crag to crag, and climbing to the pinnacle of each before leaping off again. After perhaps seven or eight of these slow, hot scrambles, I came to the north side of the caldera, from whence I could make the long, direct paraglide down the northern flank of the volcano to the Deplian Badlands below—which flight, even with my nearly full Stamina meter, required a few pitstops along the way.

This really was the most direct route to the Eldin Great Skeleton?

Once again, closest shrine to the east was Gut Check Rock, and that was a very long trek; closest to the west was at the shrouded Thyphlo Ruins, deep in a maze locked in darkness, and also a very long trek; and on the volcano the nearest shrine was that one beneath an ancient, petrified giant crab’s carapace in the middle of a lava lake, accessible only by railcar—not really meant to be a gateway to anywhere....

Gosh there was just NO easy way to get there....

There HAD to be something closer....

On the last legs of my long paraglide I saw that Dinraal was approaching from high in the east over the chasm that separated Hyrule from the north countries. I knew he would swoop down near the skeleton.... May as well try for a piece of him, I thought. But I was so far away still, and he was already passing by....

I gave it a shot anyway. My first arrow came up short—the distance was too great. With my second arrow, I aimed a little higher.... and I JUST caught him on his left hind foot! The scale shimmered and broke off, Dinraal made for the heavens, and I touched down on top of the Eldin Great Skeleton’s skull.

The scale gleamed and glimmered at me from where it had landed a bowshot away, down on the easy, flat ground. A bit forward and to the left of where the skeleton’s great nose was pointing.

“Well go get it,” says David.

“But there’s bad guys underneath this thing.” I wondered if the scale would wait for me, not depopulate, if I took time to play the Bomb game....

“Then we’ll do it real quiet like,” said David in Han Solo’s voice.

And Hnnnnngh I just jumped down and got it. And I found I needn’t have worried; the bad guys didn’t see me. They were situated more underneath the rib cage, and with the immensity of this skeleton’s skull, that was no small distance away.

David was in the other room when I picked up the scale—

“WHAT.”

“What?” asks David.

“DAVID.” I just—

He came back in.

It was not a scale.

It was Dinraal’s CLAW.

Never got wunna those before....

....

I think I’m over-Zelda’ed for this weekend.

Korok Woods. Pepp’s. Sleep. Done.

Good night.

Campout with Kass

Evening of Sunday, August 12, 2018

Campout with Kass

The storm blew off shingles and knocked the tops off our bottle trees. I hoped Meesh was all right.... She hates stormy weather....

But I would see her safe and sound the next morning.

But tonight.... DANG IT I WAS GONNA GET THAT SHRINE ON WASHA’S BLUFF.

I PARAGLIDED from Satori Mountain down to Kass’s place. I was getting better at covering more distance! I no longer feared missing the treeshroom’s platform—I could land well beyond its lip.

Once there, I camped.

....

And camped.

. . . . . . .

And CAMPED.

I lit fires. I spent flint. And when it rained I lit a fire beneath Kass’s wooden roof. Thing was fireproof, thank goodness. And I dropped something like four separate woodpiles before I found I could just relight spent campfires with a new piece of flint. And when my flint started running low, I switched to Fire Arrows....

And still Kass played his accordion.

For days he played his accordion.

I skipped around the platform to the endless waltz.

I was going koo-koo for cocoa puffs.

DANG IT WHERE WAS THE BLOOD MOON?

I could speak with Kass to quiet him, and then stand beside him after our conversation was over. He would look at me. And I would look at him. Or at Satori Mountain. Or at the sky. Or at the strange lands beyond Tabantha Bridge. But I couldn’t move away and leave him alone or he’d start playing the song again. It got.... kind of.... maddening....

I wondered who would win between he and Guru-Guru the organ-grinder.

Hmmmm....

Kass: V --- | i --- | VII --- | III --- | N6(???) - V7 - | i --- | i64 - V - | i ---

Guru-Guru: i --- | i --- | VI - III - | VI - V - | i --- | i --- | VI - V - | i ---

....Hhhhuh.

Is that even a Neapolitan sixth? Dang I don’t remember my music theory....

Well I guess Kass gets points for more sophisticated modulations.... but I think Guru-Guru’s strong half-cadence definitely makes for a more pleasing and attractive structure.

These are the things you think about when you campout with Kass for days.

The moons came in cycles of eight phases: waxing crescent, half, waxing gibous, full, waning gibous, half, waning crescent, new. I would light my fires eight at a time in rapid succession and sit through the days on Kass’ treeshroom before stopping to stretch my legs and watch for the rising of the moon.... And if the full moon were normal and white, I would warp through eight more night-fires to try it again....

Link doesn’t fall asleep when he is crouching. But I think he shakes a bug or something from his hand....

I had a sneaking suspicion that Blood Moons only manifested on full moons, and so between the fulls of one cycle I took a brief break to try for the Prison Korok again. But the statues’ bowls were just empty. And they wouldn’t take apples then, either. Ugh....

But at least I was free of the accordion for a spell.

I wandered nearer to the castle.

It had a music.... a Piano. I didn’t really get to hear much of what it did; there were other things going on the house. But it just felt.... malcontent.

I don’t know why, but I dared not pass the boundary set by the five Great Stones. Glowing pulsing pink in their sealing Sheikah designs. It felt.... like it would be wrong. Or like it bore the same taint that kept me from ever interacting with that SATAN statue again....

I was very near to one of them.

....

I didn’t want to touch it.

I inspected long-abandoned guard towers along crumbling parapets. Some of them had treasure chests inside. One of them was haunted by a Korok.

Skipping past a Guardian Flyer I scuttled up onto a large rock and stood in the bright, placid day.

I calmly observed the Guardian Stalker in the inner town. It was too far away to react to my presence. Just barely, I think.

A big, bubbly pool of Malice oozed and gurgled below the ledge where I stood. It was piled thick in all directions. I regarded the Guardian again....

If I fell in I would be.... in horrible trouble.

Off to my right was a pool of clear water. There were ducks. And fish. Even here.

I was tempted. To go into the castle. For long, dreadful moments I was tempted. But....

No.

No.

I returned to Satori Mountain and paraglided back to Kass’s home.... and that bloody accordion.

I kept camping.

But I didn’t want to strain my bows or burn through my Fire Arrows to keep lighting campfires.

So I pulled out one of my Meteor Rods.

The fireballs bounced everywhere.

One of them might have accidentally hit my host on the back of the head—I saw his shoulders tighten from behind.

Sorry, buddy.

WHERE THE FRICK WAS THE BLOODY BLOOD MOON??

There had to be a better way to do this—there was a better way to do this—I tried a cycle at Pepp’s, in the Deku Tree’s Navel. I just sat by the fire there, too—it was already made; no flint and tinder off my nose—passing night after night until the full moon night came round again, whereupon I sailed back to Kass’ place and waited for the wheeling of the sky....

But there was no Blood Moon.

ಠ_ಠ

It’s like the game knows.

ಥ∼ಥ

Dastardly....

I went back to the Deku Tree’s Navel and slept until the morning.