BIG BOYS

Waking of Friday, December 7, 2018

BIG BOYS

In studying the network of bright blue shrine markers on my map, I could still see a few empty spaces between them, too-broad empty spaces with conspicuous geography that looked.... likely....

I warped to the Qukah Nata Shrine high above Faron’s waterfalls, and wandered into the wetlands—the Rabella Wetlands these were called. I could see a spot on my map that looked like somewhere I’d seen David visit before....

And I found it. In the middle of a leafy, dappled plateau, an enormous ribcage jutted into the air, points to the sky. And in the middle of that ribcage, snoring grotesquely away.... a big Black Hinox. I remembered seeing David throwing Bombs at this one from one of the ribs....

The Hinox was surrounded by lesser meanies, just Bokoblins, and these I drew away one by one with my Mask, dispatching them each privily in a manner that did not make me feel proud.

But when it was just me and the big guy, I was able to get closer, and I saw that it had.... an orb?

On went my Barbarian Armor and I killed it then and there! With Urbosa’s help. I was just briefly bewildered during the short time its life-meter was visible. For this one wasn’t just a “Hinox”, but it bore the secondary title of “Eldest Kin”.

Oh yeah, I remembered, It had said that when David was fighting it.

What was this some kinda Super-Hinox?

Well if it had been before, it wasn’t now.

I looted the spoils. Now where the heck did this orb go....?

I looked around, and.... there! There seemed to be some ruins of a sort just a bowshot away. I hefted the orb over the grass and drew nearer to the ruins and—

What the—? Three pedestals??

I set the orb in the pedestal nearest to where I had come from, and approached a small stone marker. The inscription on it said something about orbs guarded by three giants....

And the shrine quest banner flashed across my screen: The Three Giant Brothers.

Heh, it sounded like a kind of fairy tale. ^_^

Well then! Two to go, I supposed! :D

So I had killed the Eldest Kin in the Rabella Wetlands. I spread out and searched now in the directions indicated by the remaining two pedestals....

In a place called Uten Marsh, as the sun was going down, I found the Youngest Kin, a Red Hinox. He was just a little bit down the grassy hill, and so was very easy to get to with my paraglider. So easy, in fact, that I took my flight just a little bit farther than I’d ever gone, and landed right on his big sleeping chest!

He didn’t wake, but only continued to snore.

Link meanwhile adopted the broad-stanced, bent-kneed posture he took on whenever danger was near, and glared with ready eyes down at the beast. But at every heaving breath from the monster beneath his feet, his arms would windmill just slightly, and he would have to twine his torso aright with a little jerk to keep from losing his balance.

“David, look at this!” I choked in a whisper.

“Oh my gosh, what are you doing?” He didn’t sound shocked or impressed, just.... resigned. :|

I stole the orb right off the Hinox’s necklace, turned, and stepped off the side of his big red belly....

I hit the grass with the expected clomp of my boots and little gasp from my lips after the drop.... but the Hinox didn’t wake up.

The orb was still in my hands, still held high over my head. I’d been afraid I would lose my grip on it in the little freefall and it would clonk loudly against the ground, or strike the Hinox. But nothing had happened.

And so I started walking softly away through the darkness, back toward the hill.

Well this was going to be cake! I thought. ^_^ I could just walk off with it!

But I stopped when the ground began to incline, and remembered.

I still needed Hinox guts.

I set the orb down in a place where it wouldn’t roll, and.... I actually felt a little bit sad, when I went back, and just.... killed the thing.

Red ones don’t especially drop a lot of good stuff anyway, but it never hurts to check.

And when I came to Hanu Pond and found the Middle Kin Blue Hinox.... I wasted no time there either, but killed him right away too.

And when I went back to the ruin and placed the last orb in the last pedestal, the Tawa Jinn Shrine appeared. It was a Blessing.

That was 105 shrines for me. David was still at 109? Maybe....?

I continued to wander all over the wetlands. I thought about going up to that one high plateau to kill the Lynel, but.... eh, I held off.

Wandered.... wandered.... I meandered looking for Koroks and new things to explore until I came back to whatever peak that was—the Peak of Awakening? Mount Floria? It was Mount Floria. The Peak of Awakening was above the Lanayru Road.

Mount Floria was the name of the mount between the provinces. The one above Misko’s Treasure Cache, and the Twin Bridges. The peak from which you could see both the Valley of Terror spread before the Dueling Peaks Stable, and the jungled plateaus of the Faron Province.

It was the crest from which I had first seen that Lynel-haunted plateau. The Lynel had been Blue that first time—the kind I’d always wanted to fight, but had never gotten the chance to.

Tougher Lynels kept showing up all the time.

I had a look at the Lynel down there now. Looked like another White-Maned one. I scoped in for a better view, not knowing what in the world possessed me to use my Pictobox zoom instead of the regular scope....

And as the reticle passed over the Lynel, the targeting box briefly flashed, but it was.... orange? What in the heck—The box only ever turned orange if the subject hadn’t yet been logged in the Compendium. I thought I’d already pictographed a White Lynel....

I steadied the Pictobox, and looked again. Lined up the reticle.

And the Sheikah Slate identified it as....

A SILVER LYNEL?

THE HECK.

....

.__.

....

WELL.

I’D JUST HAVE TO FLY DOWN THERE AND GET IT THEN.

I donned my Lynel Mask, and laughed as Link puffed out his chest and cast back his arms in muscular majesty. Forgot about that one. XD

I paraglided in, and could see the subtle differences now. It was still striped like a monstrous Zebra, but it was not so much black-and-white as purple-and-white. Like the other silver creatures, Moblins and Bokoblins and Lizalfos, pale with purple markings.

The thing had 5000 HIT POINTS.

DANG.

....

SO I GOT TO IT UNTIL IT WAS DEAD.

....

Hey I needed the Lynel bits.

After that I kept wandering, just finding a whole lotta Koroks. And finally a claw from the dragon Farosh as well.

More wandering, more wandering, more wandering in the Wetlands.... That would make a good title. Wandering in the Wetlands. Or Wetland Wanderings....

Just a few more Koroks, just a few more Koroks.... I was up to seventeen; if I could just get to twenty, Hestu could fill my last shield slot, and then.... I could find out what would happen next. Just a few more.... Huh, I wonder what color the southern Corridor Lynel is....

I warped to Ishto Soh to check.

It was Silver.

Just my luck.

I didn’t bother with it.

Any more Koroks....?

Hhhhhh.

Running out of juice, I warped to Tera and upgraded a few clothes. Soldier’s Armor all up to level three.... Barbarian Leg Wraps up from level one to level two.... which meant there might be a perk....

And there was! My charge-attack stamina was.... up? Or something? Did that mean.... I could charge up a spin-attack without wearing out so fast? Like how in the Zora Suit I could swim harder and faster without wearing out?

I dunno I’m tired.

PEPP’S AND BED.

GOOD NIGHT.

The Rigours of Horsemanship

Waking of Saturday, October 13, 2018

The Rigours of Horsemanship

In the Deku Tree’s Navel I cooked me up some stamina-replenishing meals. Mmf! Mighty fine eatin’. Endura Shrooms. Good stuff. I didn’t want to find myself in dire straights on any bare cliff faces again.

After that it was a warp to the Highland Stable. More often than not I always went everywhere on foot, but now.... I wanted to do that equestrian obstacle course. Because I wanted to be a better rider. Ever since I’d heard of it I’d always thought to come back and give it a try some time....

No time like the present.

And after only the minor distraction of running the very longest Korok race I think I’d ever seen.... I came back, bypassing all the mounted Bokoblins in the field, and got to the stable.

One lady inside had a sidequest available: Horseback Hoodlums.

Evidently those mounted Bokoblins were making life difficult for travelers on the road. It wasn’t that hard to believe.

So back onto the field I went. I attracted all of their attentions while wearing my Bokoblin Mask, and drew them in close until they were walking their horses in one foul, leering circle around me. Out came my sword; I charged up for a spin-attack....

And one shot of Urbosa’s Fury took them all out. Completely.

Didn’t expect it to work all the way to death in just one hit.

Oh, and Sorry, horses.

But they seemed to be all right.

Mission completed, I went back to the stable. The lady gave me a Swift Carrot for my troubles, and told me that horses love them. “Really!”

So I fed a.... gosh I didn’t have a lot of Swift Carrots.... I fed an Endura Carrot to Brown. Aww, he liked that. I’d never dropped food for my horses before. :)

And then I turned to Blynne. The man behind the obstacle course. It was twenty rupees a pop, and all I had to do was jump my mount over ten gates. And stay on my horse. Otherwise the run would be over!

Blynne’s time was a minute and fifteen seconds; he told me to try for a minute-thirty. If I could beat that he’d give me a prize....

It was.... much more difficult than it looked. I knew theoretically that a galloping horse wouldn’t be able to turn on a dime. But it was difficult to actually command my mount through its various speeds, while on the move. And while trying to HURRY.

It was good practice at least. Good, irritating, infuriating, diabolical PRACTICE....

Blynne gave me a carrot for every attempt between 1:30 and 2:00 anyway, which was nice. And you know.... I do believe.... those carrots gave extra whip-cracks to my horse! Extra speed-bursts. If only temporarily. Huh....

It took a few tries, but when I finally beat a minute-thirty, Blynne gave me the Extravagant Bridle. Oh my gosh it had a feather springing from the crown....

But OHH-HO-HO-HOHH it was only the bridle—what a delicious tease—I wanted the complete set! And for that, I would have to beat Blynne’s time of 1:15.

Oh boy....

I ran the course. And ran it. And ran it backwards. And ran it forwards. And failed. And kept missing gates. And Brown kept refusing. And sometimes, fed up with irrecoverable time loss once again I would HOP DOWN from the saddle just to get Blynne to blow the whistle so the run would be over and I could try again that much sooner, even though I KNEW, from watching that adorable show Silver Spoon on Flixnet, that that was a bad idea, and that giving up mid-run like that would discourage and emotionally scar any real horse!

But I did it anyway. GADS if you weren’t lined up PERFECTLY PERPENDICULAR to the gate on your approach....

PRACTICE. IT WAS ALL GOOD PRACTICE.

I tried and tried and TRIED and tried and tried until FINALLY.... I did it in 1:08.

Blynne was shocked! “I never thought I’d see the day...”

“Me neither,” I said.

But Blynne said he’d better live up to his word, and he gave me the Extravagant Saddle.

Ah I had them both. And they do look extravagant!

I gave Brown so many carrots then. “Good boy,” I praised him, “Good boy, Good boy, WHOOZAGOODBOYYY???”

But even after all that.... the Extravagant Tack just didn’t really suit him.

I tried it on Memory, and the effect was pretty good, but.... honestly he just looked embarrassed.

Hmmmm if I had a big, pure black horse... maybe.... yeah....

Lanayru Road

Waking of Friday, September 21, 2018 ~ 3

Lanayru Road

When Tera had upgraded my new Barbarian Armor as much as she could, I puttered around the rest of my wardrobe like I do.... Naydra horn, huh....

I still didn’t sort my closet, but left it bungled as ever, and after that....

Kakariko. It was time to venture beyond Cotera’s Woods once again. It was time to explore that inland lake. I had a sneaking suspicion I could find the scale I was looking for there.

I hurried through Cotera’s placid stand of trees, veering only to pick a few of the finer plants and scattering the wildlife before me. In the bare, cliff-flanked road beyond I didn’t bother with the Traveler who’d told me strange stories before, nor did I take the way to Rabia Plain (save for just a little to snatch a Korok I’d somehow missed).

No, this time it was the straight fork, the rightward avenue that dipped lower, and wider, as the land sank into water and stone....

This was the Lanayru Road, West Gate.

And there was indeed a high span of weathered stone bridging the way up ahead.

It looked very much like a gate in one of the pictographs in Princess Zelda’s album. But not quite. But if there was a west gate.... then there must surely have been an east gate....

I went in. There was a memory ahead of me. I knew it. Somehow I’d known it and marked it on my map.... maybe a clue from Pikango or something.... He was always painting landscapes....

The stony corridor widened; the road clave to the north face while the water started by the south; the tumbles of rock meshed through the ancient stonework so that I could hardly tell between what had been, and what was left.

I walked on. Encountered some sleeping Bokoblins. Dispatched them under the quiet of my Stealth Suit; best not to raise a ruckus. Though sometimes it couldn’t be helped to beat them down or knock them over the burm and into the water—for the paving stones rested high on pillars and supports now. Going into the drink to retrieve monster bits would be complicated from here on out....

So much stonework rose all around me, FAR too pocked and hollowed and intricate, in layers upon layers above—to explore it all would take days.... though I tried to search a little. Some minerals here, a Korok there.

But when the day turned grey and it started to rain, I switched my Climber’s Bandana for the more covering Hylian Hood, and only continued walking.

Just walking.

I loved this feeling.

Broken pillars and carven arches with incidental alcoves, all cracked and weathered, all tumbling into ruin, splitting and parting in further holes and crevices, blossoming and burgeoning with surfaces never meant to be walked upon, and yet all the more welcoming for the shelter they provided for creatures like myself to hide in.

I climbed up a bit on the north side, vaulting the slippery stones in quick, powerful bursts for the downpour, and found a little hollow that was just receded enough to be out of the rain. The blocks were straight and cubic against the dark and leaning overhang of foundation or cliffside I did not know, where the sprawling moss joyed in the moisture as it dripped down and slicked over the stone.

It was four o’clock in the afternoon.

Wouldn’t it be great, I thought, to just light a fire and rest here for a while?

Dang I love this game.

Shortly the rain let up and I climbed further and higher until I reached the topmost northern hills where I was distracted enough to kill a Hinox. As I ran back toward where I had been, I inadvertently chased a goat before me, and—I thought I saw something—

I turned and was surprised to see that the goat’s tromping had cut a trail through the grass! And I found the thing I had seen.... it was.... Hylian Rice?

But.... I thought.... I’d thought that was a crop! That it didn’t grow in the wild—I’d only ever seen it from merchants, but—If the goat had cut down the grass—and I didn’t see how else it could have gotten here—what—was all grass like this? If I cut it would.... Would it yield certain grains?

A more placid world began to swell all around me....

I was still discovering new things. Even this far in.

Dang I love this game.

I made my way back down into the canyon to continue along the Lanayru Road, and I began to see great carvings in the walls. What.... were these.... effigies.... These....

They were cracked and worn and broken but.... these were loftwings. I was sure of it. Shoebill beaks and everything. I was sure.

Because I was recognizing shoebills before Skyward Sword was even a twinkle in its daddy’s eye.

Those were loftwings.

How old was this place?

The canyon widened and the southern cliffs and carvings bent away toward that waterfall beneath which I’d found a shrine before, and this open central watered court.... was the Lanayru Promenade.

What a beautiful sight it must have been once. The path ran down close to the water here (part of it submerged now), and a dead fountain stood in the center of the widest part of the lake. I could imagine it playing merrily as beautiful Hylian holy men and women must have strode about....

Now the only thing stirring were some Lizalfos circling around the fountain.

I drew the green one away first to dispatch it privily. But when I went back for the other three....

They were all silver.

Huh, I thought in my mask as I gathered their attentions to get them onto solid ground (they were hard to kill in the water), three Silver Lizalfos.... at once....

This would be interesting....

And it was.

I called upon Urbosa first as they all gathered close about me, and her furious lightning rained down and kept two of them screeching in frozen electrocution while I grabbed the other and started pummeling his lights out. But presently the other two recovered and they were mad—I pounded one of them into next Tuesday in time to turn and trade blows with the other up against the wall—and then that first one was upon me again—but I moved before they could surround me and slashed that one in the tail while the second one was climbing back out of the water—and then there they stood regrouped and ready but I was fast—I could take these guys....

I have since learned to try and kill silver monsters as far away from water as I can. Tails and talons and horns and eyeballs will float. But rubies and sapphires and diamonds? You can kiss those goodbye if they fall into the water. And nothing your Slate can supply will help to call them back.

They’re gone, man. Gone.

When I had quite eradicated every monster from the Lanayru Promenade, I took my time giving the area as thorough an exploration as I could, turning up treasure chests behind tumbles of stone or sunk beneath the waters around the fountain. I also took another short break away, this time up on the southern hilltops, cresting the tall mountain, the Peak of Awakening, which lay just east of the high pond that fed the waterfall. As I’d suspected.... there was a Korok.

Back down on the Lanayru Road I kept heading east.... The path was rising, and I was beginning to leave the water behind, when something possessed me to take out my Pictobox. I’d seen something further ahead, and wanted to zoom in to see what it was. I knew if my Compendium recognized it, it would flash the name of the thing across the screen.

And as I swiveled the lens around carelessly toward the east, Mount Lanayru towering in shrouding clouds in the far distance, I saw, for just an instant, the name of NAYDRA.

And then it was gone and I could not relocate it.

WHAAAAAT?

Naydra? The Dragon?? What? But!

Had it flown across somewhere? Was it even now in the air, somewhere around the bends of the cliffs further to the east? I longed to plunge ahead, but....! Did I just catch the tip of its tail as it vanished out of sight? For I could see nothing of any dragon now!

Naydra??

Where was it??

But point and swivel as I might, my Pictobox could not detect the dragon again.

But it was near.... somewhere very near....

The road continued to rise as I left the great monumental stoneworks behind me.

And then I had come to.... the Lanayru Road, East Gate.

Mount Lanayru stood in might and majesty beyond the weathered stone portal.

I stood in the light, and remembered....

It was sunset.

The Champions were waiting on the water side of the gate—where I had just been. I and Zelda were coming back from the mountain.

“Don’t keep us in suspense,” said Daruk, “How’d it go up there on the mountain?”

Zelda.... shook her head.

“You didn’t feel anything? No power at all?” said the bird man Revali.

“I’m sorry, no.” Zelda didn’t look at any of them. Just the ground.

Urbosa stepped in. “Then let’s move on,” she said, her voice strong and steady as always, “Feeling sorry for yourself won’t help anything.” She offered a seemingly tireless encouragement to keep looking for.... that thing, that.... something.... “Anything could trigger the power to seal Ganon.”

“If I may...” It was Mipha. She spoke! And she.... fumbled a bit, her voice dainty as a fluttering leaf, wanting to say something, but she was embarrassed to say it. “I was just thinking about what I do when I’m healing. Sometimes it helps if I think... if I think about—”

RRRRRRRUMBLE!

A roaring cacophany tore the air and rattled the earth.

Everyone stumbled and shook as the ground heaved beneath them, until Revali regained himself and SHOT into the sky.

A hundred feet up he maintained a steady flapping as he looked into the glowing, flaming western sky and the sinking sun.

Ganon was erupting out of the castle.

“He’s here,” said Urbosa as Revali touched down again. The earth had stopped shaking, though the roaring remained.

“It’s awake,” said Zelda.

“Are you sure?” said.... probably Mipha?

“Positive,” said Revali.

Daruk rallied everyone, “Champions! To your Divine Beasts! Link, you get to Hyrule Castle—” He barked their long-laid plans. It needed to be a unified assault. “Link will need to meet Ganon head-on when we unleash our attack.”

Revali scoffed quietly at this last and looked away. Even now.

What did he have against me?

“Come, let’s go,” Urbosa addressed Princess Zelda, “We need to get you somewhere safe.”

But—“No,”—Zelda pulled away. “I may not be of much use on the battlefield, but there must be something I can do—”

She wanted to help.

She wanted to be useful....

OHHHH MUUHHHH GUUUSHHHH....

Urbosa's Fury

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 6

Urbosa’s Fury

The quiet was exquisite.

It was broken by footsteps.

The spirit of Urbosa walked down the steps of an inner strut, coming toward me as if from that same exterior deck where we had met one hundred years ago.

I liked her. How straightforward she was. How sensible and matter-of-fact.

How could a spirit like hers ever be confined or burdened down....?

Unless.... as indicated by his many physiques.... Calamity Ganon really had....

. . . .

Done to them what he did to the Guardians.

“This is just the way things had to happen, and no one is to blame,” Urbosa said, “Tell the Princess not to worry.”

Gosh I liked her. She was so strong. So sure. Straightforward.

And when she assured me that Vah Naboris was once again under proper control—when she said Vah Naboris, she flipped her R.

There was something.... awesome, about that. It didn’t feel out of place. Especially considering the different words the Gerudo used for things anyway. Very possibly a whole other language they spoke only among themselves.

The accent was striking. Charming. And her switching to and from it so easily intimated a special kind of intelligence.

I had never thought to be picking favorites among the Champions. And certainly not someone so mundane as a Gerudo. Really, what was so sensational about overly tall women who were basically the same as myself, just with rounder ears and a longer nose? And a few heads more in height?

They couldn’t spear through the waters or fly through the skies or punch through rocks and walk through hot lava unscathed.

They weren’t cool.

. . . .

But Urbosa was.

Gosh I liked her.

Mm, but I could never see myself picking favorites....

. . . .

She imparted a few more words to me before bestowing upon me a gift she said I would have use for—Urbosa’s Fury.

This was different as well. The Champions always parted their blessings to me with great will and flair. And so Urbosa did just now. But this time, as the sphere of empowering light connected with my chest . . . . I only regarded it with a solid expression—maybe gave one meaningful blink through a deep nasal inhale. I was not thrust into a closed-eyed, overpowering serenity. My feet did not leave the ground. Urbosa had demonstrated the motion, and now, I only mirrored it right back—

In a swirling rush forward, stepping strong four-to-fives, I threw out one hand and snapped my fingers and—

WHAT THE LIGHTNING??? WITH A SNAP OF MY OWN FINGERS WHAT?????

It came down in a cacophany all around me, multiple strikes like an aura of DEATH in a dangerous radius from my person!

OH MY GOSH!!! 8D

I just had to hold down my melee-strike button as if for a spin-attack—a mad Kaitengiri with THOSE FOUR-TO-FIVES and—Krak-ka-BOOOOMMmm—

Oh my gosh, this was too awesome.... X-)

Mipha and Daruk had been there to get me out of trouble but this....

This was for aimin’ to misbehave.

And after only a few more words spoken, it was time for me to leave the Divine Beast, and I teleported away in the same shimmering white light like gleaming snowflakes floating up into the sky....

And Urbosa led Vah Naboris TO....

Spectacle Rock I CALLED IT.

“Nabooru, legend of the Gerudo and revered for generations, for whom you were named, Vah Naboris...” Urbosa went on in some such words as she led the Divine Beast.

She was proud of her people, and rightly so—they were strong, and descended from powerful heroines.

But Urbosa had a vendetta.

Beneath her cool collectedness you could feel it. Something seething just beneath the surface.... something you didn’t wanna mess with.... something you didn’t wanna touch.

“It is said that Calamity Ganon once adopted the form of a Gerudo.” Her eyes hardened. “I relish the chance to make this personal.”

Again hinting that to be something she didn’t normally do.... The indignation felt righteous, and appropriately waited for.... Gosh I liked her....

“I’ve been waiting so long for the time when Link would finally rush Hyrule Castle.... and for the time I could blast Calamity Ganon to ashes....”

Vah Naboris’ six-eyed face locked on to the distant castle; part of it opened up and two rods extended to emanate the giant, focusing red beam, which shot out and blazed against the writhing, swirling Calamity....

“That moment,” Urbosa savored the thought as she stood atop the Divine Beast in the red, red sun, “will be so delicious.”