The Princess is a Nerd

Waking of Monday, March 18, 2019

The Princess is a Nerd

Looking for Shrines.

Bottom of Lake Totori. Nope. Just a lot of swimming and Stamina games. And dripping through the air shafts.

The Devil’s Own Highway, via Moza’s.... enchanting abode. Nope. Just some Koroks and coyotes.

Purifier Lake. Killed the Hinox and the Lynel. Rusty Shield finally gave out in a blaze of glory.

Nope.

The eastern skirts of the volcano. Found some ruins, the Shadow Hamlet Ruins.... But nope.

The northeastern shore of the mainland. Nope.

There was....

....

I needed a Korok Leaf....

Warped to the forest and picked one off the ground. Finally spoke to one Kula the Korok, who wanted to see an Ice Rod. Heh, another Nebb....

I was busy.

Boating around Lomei Labyrinth Island. Nope.

Almost drowned when the wind blew away my boat after I swam to the border. But there was ground to stand on at the island.

No shrines.... where are there more shrines....

Tried a bit around the northeastern Central Plains. Nope.

The northern skirts of the Gerudo Highlands, as far west as I could go. Nope.

The eastern edge of that bowl of jungle-forest on the way to the Spring of Courage. Nope.

Hateno.

....Cooked more meals. That Lynel was brutal.

Bed.

Sleep.

Good night.

Just kidding.

Came back late when everyone else had gone toward bed. To bed.

Checked out Strock Lake. Very strange winds. Lots of treasure, a few Koroks, butt-tons of Lizalfos and a heckton of trouble. But no shrines. Nope.

Checked out the western edges of the Central Plains. Nope.

Hem and haw. Shilly Shally.

....

I shall.

I warped to the shrine near Serenne. And.... I moved toward the memory.

Uh.

There was a memory near there, just to the south and east a bit. A memory by a tree on a grassy hill, with the back side of the Castle in the distance. I’d seen it before. Even stood in it. Why did I never mention it before? How disgusted I am with myself as a journaler....

Maybe it was when I was looking for Mei. That run all the way across the Elma Knolls....

I did not rely too heavily on my map, but decided to go by sight in the midst of the thunderstorm. Stalgoons came out to waylay me, but I am a quick-change artist.

The first batch I left behind.

The second batch popped out right before I could get to the tree. Ugh. I did not want to wear down my weapons dealing with them, but I didn’t want to view the memory with them hanging around either. They all three told me their life stories for like three or four hours....

“Dawn take you all and be stone to you,” I urged them under my breath.

And at five in the morning.... they did.

The Memory....

Zelda and I sat near the tree on a beautiful sunny day, Zelda taking pictographs of all the flowers she could find. We were just sitting. The flowers were so lovely....

“The flowers of Hyrule aren’t just beautiful,” she says, “But they are also incredibly useful.” She expounded on their various properties and their uses as herbs and ingredients.

And then.... she stopped, seeming to slow down and breathe as her eyes softened.

“This one here...”

And then I saw it.

“This one is called the silent princess. It’s a rare, endangered species. Despite all our efforts, we’re not yet able to grow them domestically.”

She stroked it so lovingly. I felt suddenly guilty for picking every single one I could get my mitts on....

“The princess thrives out here, in the wild.”

Her eyes still looked at it.... though they looked at a thousand things more that I couldn’t see.

Does she now.

“The best we can hope is that it continues to grow strongly out here in the wild.”

I looked over her shoulder at the flower.... before with an excited little yelp the princess lunged forward on her hands and knees like a child.

“Oh I can’t believe I’ve caught one! Look at this!” She turned back to me with her hands cupped in front of her. “Ta-da!” She opened them.

A green frog chirruped and puffed and wriggled in her palms.

“They say that ingesting this specimen can actually enhance certain attributes!” Her eyes became more focused than I’d ever seen them before; he speech quickened; it all seemed to come flooding out of her.

Oh . . . I breathed out a single, hard little sigh in the shape of a smile.

I could see now.

There you are, I thought.

The princess.... was a nerd.

“And we wouldn’t be in a controlled environment out here, but with your excellent physical condition,” she kept coming closer, “you would make the perfect candidate to test this theory!”

And closer!

“Go on!” she urged excitedly, thrusting the frog into my face as it hopped up from her palms!

“Taste it!”

I backed up.... gasping in.... hesitation for I dare not say disgust here why oh gosh she’s the princess....

Oh my gosh.... the princess.... is a NERD. X-)

After coming back to myself I took a portrait. Several portraits. Then culled. Narrowed. Until I was satisfied.

In flicking through my albums, I saw that the pictograph of Windblight Ganon.... it had four.... protrutions out the back, like Revali’s four braids.... and I felt.... sick....

Enough.

HATENO.

HOUSE.

BED.

It was 11:something in the morning. Slept ‘til noon.

To The Glistening Eastern Sea

Waking of Saturday, November 24, 2018

To The Glistening Eastern Sea

I hoped David wouldn’t peek when I looked at my map—he’d been creepin’ off my shrine locations!

I warped to the shrine in Ulria Grotto, the Thing Under The Mountain, and headed for the coast. I wanted to explore those tall islands standing just off the mountainous shoreline....

Because I’d been creeping shrine locations off of David, too!

Or at least.... I just happened to see one out on his map of Tingel Island.

I’d seen this series of islands many times on my map, and noted how they all seemed to be connected by a network of thin, wooden bridges. And when I reached them.... I had a sneaking suspicion as to why....

I wasn’t sure, but something about those winds worried me—they were positively howling out there so high over the sea! I suspected that if I attempted to flit between islands using my paraglider, I might get back an unexpected result, and be flung either back onto the mainland or perhaps even out to sea!

And so I simply just buckled down for it and swept the islands on foot. There were plenty of moblins and no shortage of landbound Octoroks, and of course, stal-creatures that popped out whenever the sun went down. They were irritating for sure, but nothing I couldn’t handle.

I was just happy they didn’t haunt any of those bridges.

(No, the only things haunting the bridges were the patrolling Guardian Flyers. I avoided them.)

The bridges were made of wood all right, but they weren’t like Manhala Bridge or Thims Bridge, broad and planked. They weren’t even like Jeddo Bridge, planked just the same but with bites taken out of it.

These bridges were comprised of thin logs, bound together at whiles with cords, and staggered lengthwise to create a surface to walk on. Maybe three or four logs broad at the narrowest, five or six at the widest. I’d actually seen bridges like these before, many times in fact. But never to such extreme lengths!

And, curse the foley engineers, but they creaked! They creaked and groaned in the high fierce winds!

I was doing all right when I ventured out to Davdi Island, and thence to Ankel Island and Knuckel Island. But when I came to THAT bridge.... that last bridge.... the one single span that remained between me and Tingel Island, where the shrine would be.... THAT BRIDGE....

I stood high on the tallest crest of Knuckel Island, and the last bridge extended before me in one immense, swooping bow that did not inspire confidence. It had to start out fifty degrees downward at least!

It creaked in the wind.

Okay....

I set foot on it and skidded for a tense few heartbeats, shortly catching myself on the narrow logs. I just had to stay straight.

The wind howled and whistled as I took a few more sliding steps forward. The sea spun dizzyingly far below me, the logs in front of me shrinking into the distance, stringing into the tiny, faraway, dark line that connected with the other island.

Creeeeak-k-k-k-k.

Step—step—skiddd—step—step—step—skiddd—step, step, step.... Very slowly, the angle began to rise with the bowing of the bridge, until at last I could walk normally.

This did not alleviate the narrowness of the path, nor banish the hovering Guardians, but it was something. And what seemed like a very long time later, I finally set foot on the final island, Tingel Island.

Brreep-brreep! went my shrine detector.

And two full handfuls of unpleasant monsters later, I came to a bald patch between two hills where a large, dark slab lay on a flat spot of ground. This seemed to be where the signal was pointing....

I Stasised the slab and knocked it out of the way and lo! there was the shrine, in a hole in the ground. The Kah Mael Shrine.

After this adventure I paraglided back to the mainland, touching down on the dramatic slopes above the sea, and followed the coast south to the Talus Plateau and the Lodrum Headland. Another name I recognized but whose originator (Holodrum I assume) I had never visited.

As I neared the end of this particular jut of the landmass, called Tarm Point, David cautioned me with a “Careful....”

And I slowed, and caught a glimpse of what he meant. “Oh. A Lynel.” I could see it prowling a sizeable green field before some tottering ruins of stately columns. I guessed David had been here before. “Thanks.”

“Yup.”

I considered the white beast, and my wardrobe, and actually concluded after a few seconds, “I’d like to bag me a Lynel....” I wanted its guts. And so I went in, and we danced about it, and I took them. And the contents of the two chests he was evidently guarding among the ruins—two gold rupees! No small prize! 8D

I rounded the horn of Tarm Point (accidentally skipping over a Wintre Island) and came back up north along the inside, the west side, and into the bay—Lanayru Bay. It wasn’t the part I had flown over before, that one time when I was chasing Naydra’s scale, but a different branch to the north called Horon Lagoon.

And WHO should I find here.... but Kass.

I was always happy to see Kass. ^_^

He sang me the song of the region, and what followed was one of the more diverting challenges I had yet encountered.

I am very fond of Ja Baij; and Ja Baij’s bombs are very easily manipulated by the wind. And this Horon Lagoon was full of nothing so much as strong air currents, and explodable hunks of rock.

After much searching and bombing and sailing and cutting down pesky Octoroks and casting more Bombs and sailing again.... I had cleared enough space for three whistling air currents to converge through a single, singing stone, and then shoot out as one from the other side—and it was this conjoined whirlwind that I rode through the hollow stone, and then all the way out the impossible distance to the pedestal, the landing upon of which, immediately after having passed through the wind tunnels, summoned the Shai Yota Shrine up out of the jagged, tide-pooly earth.

Yay.

That was two more shrines for me.

David and I were.... well, we were on to each other, and kind of racing each other for shrines at this point.

But after the Shai Yota Shrine I just kind of followed the bay inland, chasing Koroks. I’d been catching Koroks all the way and there were still plenty of them to turn over. I traced the shoreline up until I did reach that part I’d flown over before, and came to that low spot of ground outside the Eastern Reservoir, where the Bad Blood Lizalfos camped.

At length I left the bay entirely and plunged on ahead over land. I came to Rabia Plain where I sent the deer scattering said hi to Eryck. I chased a shooting star into the wetlands where it vanished—saw that happen to David once, too; maybe a glitch.... I chased hilltop Koroks into Eldin Canyon and the craggy, red foothills of the volcano. Perhaps reminded by the rocks, I warped away to the Gerudo Highlands to pick up another Korok I had marked on my map but then forgotten about—came with a friend, that one did. I warped to the Outskirt Stable and got that Korok by the Fire Wizzrobe—

And what even are Wizzrobes? They’re not like other monsters.... More man-shaped; no stal-equivalent; not a beast like a Keese or a Chuchu.... potential for tremendous power.... but I’ve seen Bokoblins with more brains.... Were they human once?

Hm.

I had started this playtime with less than fifteen Korok seeds in my pockets. But by the time I was done hunting I’d gathered more than forty. I cashed ‘em in to Hestu for two more shield slots. Just two slots more and I’d have a full shield page....

And I thought about cashing in the 16 Spirit Orbs I had on my person, but.... I didn’t. For some reason. I don’t know.

Instead I went to Pepp’s, and bed.

Good night.

Definitely Not Girl Stuff

Waking of Thursday, November 22, 2018

Definitely Not Girl Stuff

I considered, at the shindig at Ben’s house. I was too far behind with logging, but.... what the hey. I brought Mary home for a visit, and we played Zelda anyway. By which I mean I played Zelda, and Mary watched. She enjoys it—she asked for it. I assume because it’s the next best thing when I don’t let anybody touch my consoles!

Besides, I had been holding off on something fairly large in the game, and I figured this would be a good opportunity to do it. I dared say it would be entertaining enough, even for someone just watching.

It was when I watched David do it.

After picking up just a few more Koroks in the Hebra region, I warped to the Muwo Jeem Shrine on the tall cliff overlooking the sea, and paraglided to a lonely little island I’d seen more than a few times. Just a speck of rock, really, made visible only by the brilliantly glowing orange shrine that took up most of its surface....

I’d seen it there many times. Don’t know why I’d never gone for it. Maybe because I hadn’t gotten the Faron map yet, and I wanted to wait. Maybe because it was too far out of the way. Maybe because it was just a waypoint to that bigger island out there, paying a visit to which would become almost obligatory, if you were already out that far.... But I’d already seen that place, through David.

Maybe it was because I’d seen that bigger island.... and I knew what a hassle it would be....

On the tiny island, Tenoko Island, we found the Chaas Qeta Shrine, which turned out to hold a Major Test of Strength. I beat this all right, and was rewarded with.... THE CLIMBING SHIRT!!!! SWEET! 8D

HA! And here I thought I’d surely find it on some mountain!

It looked cool! Ropes and straps everywhere with dangling carabiners swinging when I turned.... X-)

I had the set now! ^_^

Upon exiting the shrine, I chucked my Dragonbone Boko Club out to sea, blew up the resident palm tree, and collected from its remains a Korok Leaf. Because of course it would drop a Korok Leaf.... as there was a raft to use right there! Convenient.

Dealing with only a few Octoroks along the way, we sailed out to the big island. I knew the name of it before it loomed across the screen:

EVENTIDE ISLAND

And the moment my feet touched the shore.... those low, heralding bells sounded.... along with the echoing drone of the monk’s summons.

As well as.... some inane, irreverent commentary from Mary, which jarred the moment and I didn’t like it, but.... I didn’t shush her. I’d brought her over so she could enjoy this and well.... THEM’S THE FRIGGIN’ HAZARDS. :p

To you who has traveled to this island...

I present you with a challenge. In your

travels, you’ve relied on the equipment

you’ve found along the way.

Here, you must cast this equipment

aside and face this trial with only your

wits and whatever you can scavenge.

And after a brief blackout of the screen, I stood naked and barefoot on the beach, with no weapon or shield. Just an empty bandolier and the Sheikah Slate still resting against my sleek blue undershorts.

Offer up the orbs to the three altars on

this island. Only then will I acknowledge

your skill and return your items.

And the Shrine Quest title flashed across my screen: Stranded on Eventide, and I was free to move again.

I checked my inventory. As it had been with David, everything I had was gone. Weapons, shields, bows, clothes, items, monster bits, food....

Everything.

Well, I did at least still have the paraglider, though.

Hoo, and I’d thought things were skinny after freeing the Great Fairy Tera....

It had been more shocking to David and I when we’d both watched him play this part. But I’d been expecting it now. Time to get down to business, I thought....

I combed everything I could from the beach, besting a meager camp of three Red Bokoblins with something like a tree branch.

Thank goodness they were only red ones. The weakest kind. A fair marriage to what humble weapons there were to be found. I still felt somewhat spoiled by how many hearts I had by this time, though. David had done this island on a much shorter life-meter.... and shallower pockets....

I found the first orb at the top of a small treehouse guarded by mostly Red Bokoblins. I was able to snipe the lookouts using a very basic bow I had taken from another Bokoblin, and for the rest of them, well.... for each one I put down, that was another dropped weapon for me to pick up as the ones in my hand shattered. Bats and clubs and spears, all glorified sticks, really, and not very hard-hitting. But they sufficed. There was the occasional sword as well.

I had no protective clothing, but the island provided for if I should take hits—crabs along the beach, a smattering of banana trees in the dense patch of jungle, fish already roasted on spits and swiped from Bokoblin fires.... I was confident I’d be just fine.

With the treehouse cleared I picked up the orb, tiptoed past the snoring Blue Hinox slumbering in the sunny open dell in the middle of the island, and made for the pointy end of Eventide.

Half a stone’s cast from the beach, an outcrop of black rock jutted out of the sea. And on that rock was the first of the pedestals. I had to put the orb in there.

Now DAVID.... had done this in a REALLY AMAZING WAY—he had Magnesed the Woodcutter’s Axe from the stump in the middle of the little bog back in the jungle, taken careful aim, chopped down a palm tree so that its log extended between the beach and the outcrop, and then WALKED ACROSS THIS LOG while carrying the orb.

And THAT.... was friggin’ amazing.

I, on the other hand, I did what we’d later seen PB & Jeff do: threw the orb in the water and lifted it up by Cryonising an ice pillar beneath it. It was still tricky, mind! But nowhere near as hardcore as David’s method had been.

Once I’d placed the orb, it vanished away in a melt of blue light, and the pedestal likewise lit up blue. One down, two to go!

I considered confronting the Hinox next (it wore an orb around its neck), but.... No. I went in search of the other orb first. And I found it perched on a tower in the midst of a much stronger baddie camp, a fair distance up the highest hill on the island.

Night had fallen by the time I’d properly scoped out the place. I tried for a stealth approach, and was able to sneakstrike a few of the Bokoblins, but when that last Black Moblin spotted me, well.... we just had to go at it the old fashioned way.

Fortunately my deep pockets and growing collection of crude spears and clubs saw me through, until the run of the high camp was mine. I collected the orb, whacked the impeding slab off the pedestal with a bit of Stasis, and claimed the second pedestal.

Now all that was left was that Hinox....

And for this I had long planned to emulate what David had done....

The Hinox snored in the low spot between the two highest hills on the island. I’d already dealt with the highest hill, but for this I would need the second highest. And the second highest hill held another baddie camp, this one with Electric Chuchus. David’s encounter with them here on this island had been the first time we’d ever seen them. But even then I’d been able to pass on some words of wisdom from Madman Joseph—don’t attack them directly, because they’ll explode.

That was one spoiler I was glad of at least.

And so I spent a few more of the precious arrows I’d collected to blow up the sparking green Chuchus and subsequently flash-fry most of the remaining enemies. And the second highest hilltop was mine.

This hill was important not only for the third pedestal which rested at its top, but also for its craggly, rocky surface on the side leading toward the Hinox’s dell. For partway down that slope was the perfect shelf from which to play Bomb-Golf....

There were also a few large boulders at the crest, and I pushed these off as well as I could toward the slumbering Hinox. At least one of them made contact, and that put a damper on his day all right. He woke up and stood up and found me and started throwing rocks and roaring unintelligible curses I’m sure. And down I scrambled to that one broad stone, just out of reach of the Hinox’s projectiles and just big enough for me and a Deku Leaf....

I must say, Mary was most unimpressed with this pansy approach, and I don’t blame her. But once I’d set up camp I doggedly planted Bomb after Bomb at my feet, whiffing them off into the blue with the Deku Leaf’s gusts of air, and detonating them as they landed in the Hinox’s vicinity. It took a loooong time, but eventually the Hinox succumbed to its inevitable death by a thousand small explosions.

I paraglided down, collected all the leftover bits, and picked up the third and final orb. This I marched back up to the top of that second highest hill, and planted in the final pedestal. And at once across the way, on the tallest grassy top of the highest hill, the Korgu Chideh Shrine came rrrumbling up out of the earth.

The monk spoke again.

You’ve done well to complete the trial.

I will now return your things, as

I promised.

And a brief blackout, and I had all my clothes and gear on again.

Huhh, I’d become.... rather fond of the wild boy look. :c

Though I guessed I could adopt it any time I wanted to.... the climate allowing....

Come, enter the shrine.

It was a Blessing.

*

That romping shrine quest was just enough, and shortly after we’d finished I took Mary back home.

When I got back, I booted up the game again and, feeling aimless like I do, I found myself simply enjoying the day up on top of the highest hill of Eventide. The spot, close to sea level as it was, had that high cold music. That prayerflag song. Huh....

!

I stiffened as I realized that someone was sitting just a bit down the hill from where I was.

A Rito.

The feathers looked dark, though that may simply have been an effect of the sun setting in the sky beyond.

I approached him.

His name was Mimo. Oh hey his sidelocks looked.... like Link’s did when he wore the Wingaling Hat.... all bound up with that anchor-shaped weight on the end.... Was the Wingaling Hat a Rito item then?

Mimo spoke to me about flying, and, wouldn’t you know it, he ran a certain little minigame....

And I spent the next half hour or so throwing rupees at this Mimo in exchange for the pleasure of jumping off the hilltop to navigate through a series of floating hoops Mimo had placed all over the airspace. Aided by a few updrafts that hadn’t been there before, I was able to rack up a higher and higher hoop-count until Mimo acknowledged my mastery of the air and rewarded me back with a hefty sum of rupees of my own. It was much fun! XD

When I’d had enough of the flying course, I went back to Hebra, Koroked a little more and then.... put it to bed.

The Mysterious Palmorae Disc

Waking of Saturday, October 27, 2018 ~ 3

The Mysterious Palmorae Disc

“Okay, Zuta, lead me to ruins!”

I was back in Lurelin Village, entertaining an eager young child who really wanted to show me something.

We ran northeast along a low shelf of land for a long time, as it started to rain.... until Zuta finally stopped short and said, “Tell Garini I said hi!”

And then he started running back toward the village.

Okay then.

I continued along a little track that led back down to the beach. The sand seemed to extend quite a ways inland here, flooring a deep hollow in the side of the mountain. So these were the Palmorae Ruins. I could see two glowing daises, but not much else was distinguishable through the rain.

I moved closer, and just beyond the daises I saw a man, looking at—

WHAT.

THAT WAS....

THAT LOOKED REMARKABLY LIKE....

NO.

IT COULDN’T—

ASDFGHJKL;

IETHGERJSGHJAEKSGFAEKLR;GJNAEK;NVJLRAEHGUFIAR;EHGIRJ

I made myself remember how far I was from the Arbiter’s Grounds in the desert.

It just looked so remarkably like the Mirror of Twilight at first glance.... broken and everything....

I spoke to the man, Garini. He was studying this ruin closely, trying to decipher the inscription along its circumference. But of course, as the disc was broken and he didn’t have all the pieces.... he was having a hard time. The years of rain and sea-swell had taken their toll on the structure.

So what’s a Hero to do? Of course I agreed to help him—it was a shrine quest! I searched out the three other pieces to take pictographs of them. It was easiest at night, when the markings glowed. But I worked as I could, finding one nearby in the sand, one away to the right amid some rocks in shallow water, and the last one waaaay out on that pointy point of a sandbar I had been to before when I was looking in all the wrong places for Aris Beach.

I studied the markings myself for a good little bit. I wondered what form or forms of Hylian they were.... if any.... Reminded me most of OoT Hylian, though some characters had that flowy, Gerudo look.... Oh I wanted to nerd it all out on Omniglot so bad....

I brought back the pictographs, and Garini deciphered: “When the two find their place and kneel in reverence, then the way will open,” or some such words.

“I haven’t the foggiest what that means,” said Garini.

I did.

I got on the dais on the right and knelt down.

Garini looked at me, “Ah! Is that it?”

He did the same on the other dais.

And we knelt together.... and the shrine appeared! ^_^ The Kah Yah Shrine.

Ah, I love it when the game makes you do such dances....

As of December 12, 2018 I still have not deleted the shard pictographs. The resemblance was just too close! What would possess someone to remove it from the desert to this location? It was a good hiding spot.... Has the internet already looked into this? Augh probably, probably....

Beachfront Shenanigans

Waking of Saturday, October 27, 2018

Beachfront Shenanigans

I entered Lurelin Village!

It seemed.... a lazy kind of place.

I was helping people right off the bat. I supplied Kiana and her son Kinov with a Hearty Blueshell Snail and some Goat Butter—which ingredient I had JUST bought from that Chumin as he ran out of town (it was raining).

But! Kiana let me eat with them for my trouble! And I got a pretty good dish out of it, too! Cool!

Kiana’s husband Sebasto further bemoaned that fishing had become difficult since monsters had lodged up at Aris Beach.

I had flashbacks of Final Fantasy VII at the name. Emily, Lisa, Marlee and I had won some pretty good prizes with those cosplays. But I’d never played much of the game myself. Owing to the awkward questions I got from a much younger David when I made it to the Don’s place. After that I promised myself I’d never play the game again. Sometimes I’ve regretted it.

Monsters at Aris Beach, huh? I still didn’t have the map, so I just made a guess and turned.... left. Uh, northeast.

I ran and scoured the beach for a good long distance, but I didn’t find too many monsters. I found a few. And a few Koroks. But nothing too substantial.

So I came back down the beach, passed the village again and searched to the west. The wind blew in fiercely from the sea on my left. With a glance at my Sheikah Slate I realized.... Oh.... I was at the bottom of my map.

A few more Lizalfos cropped up and took issue with my passage, but I put them down easily enough. And then I saw it—a BIG monster nest, treehouse style, a duplex! Standing in the water just off the sandy shore of a shallow bay.

There’d be no sneaking to the top of this mess with my paraglider.... Unless I felt like hoofing it all the way to the top of one of these mountains, but I didn’t. And I didn’t trust that wind none too much at any rate.

Fortunately, the treehouse seemed mostly full of Bokoblins; there was only one Moblin that I could see. Maybe I could still pull a bit of sneakery. On went my mask....

But I had to take a raft to actually access the joint.

And after that....

Well, you know how these parties go.

I cleared it out and was rewarded with a nice Royal Halberd for my troubles. I’d been seeing those more often lately.... Maybe there wouldn’t be a need for me to hold the precious ones I already had in reserve anymore....

And the banner flashed across my screen—there was an update on the beach-quest!

So I guessed this must have been Aris Beach. Cool. That was good to know.

Maybe I should have gotten the map....

But Lurelin Village would be easy enough to find without it for now.

The Entry For Which I Do Not Apologize

Waking of Thursday, October 25, 2018

The Entry For Which I Do Not Apologize

I wanted to get back on the road to Lurelin, but.... I was distracted by my shrine-detector once again as I wandered around.

My wanderings also brought me back to that Lynel I’d seen from the top of that peak above the Twin Bridges. It had been blue, then. But now it was a White-Maned Lynel!

Why were they all white now? I’d been hoping to try my hand against a blue one.... a nice, medium level against which to test my mettle....

I didn’t want to mess with a White Lynel right now, but I did run a derping circle around it in my mask a few times. Seems if you stay in motion and they don’t get a chance to study you carefully.... they might just stay fooled.

After a time I finally found the shrine I’d been detecting—the Shoda Sah Shrine, hidden behind a big waterfall, like that one near the Lanayru Promenade.

You Shoda Sah me get it.

THEN I came back to the Lurelin Road, and back to that little canyon just beyond the jungle that had been so infuriating, where the cliffs had been impassable in the downpour. Maybe I’d try them again at some point, if the rain-spell were truly broken. But for now, I pressed onward down the road.

Just how far away was this village?

I ran on and on, along the bottoms of the cliffs and back to where I had plunged into the foothills to double back, and beyond, and still the road wound on through treeless, grassy hills and grey mountains, with no sign of the village.

I sported for a little while with a treehouse full of Bokoblins before.... my shrine-detector started going off again.

Maybe this one would be the shrine near the village.... for there was always a shrine near every habitation....

And this time, as it turned out.... it was.

Over the last rise in the road, I could see the sea, and spread along the shore, little fishing huts, and boats resting along the beach.

The shrine, the Yah Rin Shrine, was nearby the village, and it was easy to find.

You just go up the hill from the trail a little bit, and Yah Rin.

I was upon Lurelin Village, but.... I detected buzzkill impending.... and my laundry needed switching out anyway.

So I saved and quit.

Soon.

BLOODY UNWATCHED POT

Evening of Tuesday, September 4, 2018

BLOODY UNWATCHED POT

The Hateno Tower gave me an excellent vantage point. Now I just had to wait. What phase of the moon was it again....?

There it was creeping over the horizon: waning gibous.

I warped back to the Deku Tree’s Navel and sat by the fire. Again. And again. And again.

David remarked that the Koroks must have thought me very weird. Just sitting there unmoving on my haunches for such a long time.

I counted sittings until the full moon night, whereupon I warped to the Muwo Jeem Shrine on the eastern edge of the map. I would definitely get the earliest possible notice looking out over the sea from here....

And up came the big full moon....

It was white. Not red.

Rats!

Okay! I thought to myself, here is what I will do then! I would just go about my business as usual, and then, as each night fell, I would just warp back here to the Muwo Jeem Shrine over the sea and check.

Oh but first I would need to test, yes.... How long would it take me to make it to Washa’s Bluff from the shrine by Tabantha Bridge? I warped there to try it....

The night-speed of the Stealth Suit would help. I touched down on the warp pad at 10:25 pm, and started running. I did not make time to correct the camera angle and so had a bit of a stumble getting off the little hill and down to the ground, but I got the general direction well enough!

Augh, and then I accidentally ran myself out of stamina—Link slumped into a slow, panting jog for a few moments while he recovered—but that was all right, this was only a test run after all. And I wouldn’t make that mistake during the actual Blood Moon....

I dashed and sprinted ahead, giving no satisfaction to the Keese and Stal-creatures hounding my footsteps.

I made it to the pedestal by Kass’ treeshroom—AND THE TERRIBLE ACCORDION RANG DOWN THROUGH MY TEMPLES—and it was five or ten minutes past midnight. I was late.

Hmmmm.... But I had only started at 10:25.... I would be able to see a Blood Moon come up over the sea before that time of night.

Moon usually rose about ten o’clock....

I could make it in an hour and forty minutes....

I could make it to Washa’s Bluff....

I would just go about my business in the meanwhile, yes....

Business as usual.

I was stark raving moon-mad crazy.

I visited Tera and suffered a clothes-alignment conniption inside my menus—I didn’t want to rearrange my closet. But I was short on most materials anyway.

And so I had the BRILLIANT idea to just go back to the beginning per Vizzini, go back to the plateau, and loot EVERYTHING, and take the old east road I had taken before—there were lots of minerals along the way, like between the Dueling Peaks....

Unfortunately the Great Plateau had nothing but a plethora of mushrooms. I killed the Talus anyway. And many Bokoblins. So many Bokoblins. What a killing spree.

When I realized and remembered that the Plateau yielded only the most basic of materials, I paraglided down and headed east through the old ruins anyway, cleaning out the Moblins as I went. I sniffed around every corner, looking everywhere, turning over treasure chest after treasure chest that I just couldn’t fit in my inventory.

I’d meant to explore this place more thoroughly later anyway. Huh, “later”. When exactly was “later”? I’d thought of it back when I first left the plateau. But I’d had to find Impa then, and I hadn’t been strong enough.

I came upon a weapon stamp I had left on my map, for in case I was ever in desperate need of something strong. And at the indicated location, thrust into the earth at the center of a shallow rain-pool.... was a Rusty Halberd.

How little I used to be.

The ruins were a somber place. Inside some of them I could see where I was sure that.... beds.... used to stand. Such simple little dwellings. And I imagined the faithful, loyal guards who must have manned them.

Our poor country.

I continued searching, chasing out a Korok at the top of a weathered flagpole—my gosh there were so many such towers in the field—how many of them hid Koroks? And there turned out to be more Moblins than I had realized between the Plateau and Proxim Bridge as well. Big Yiga Clansmen came out to play sometimes. I killed them too.

Then suddenly I looked up AND THE MOON WAS RED. I GASPED.

IT WASN’T EVEN A FULL MOON NIGHT. WHAT THE HECK, GAME?

CURSE YOU NINTENDOOOOO!

I looked at the clock. Oh wicked fate! It was 10:25. The same as last time. The time I hadn’t made it.

I went to my map—no.... I paused first. I put on clothes for night-speed. Yes. Then to the map. And I warped to the Tabantha Bridge Stable.

This was it....

I had a better time getting off the little hill, hugging tight to the mountainside in my paraglide and jog until I could round the bend enough to make a beeline. I won’t make the stamina mistake, I won’t make the stamina mistake, I won’t make the stamina mistake I MADE THE STAMINA MISTAKE. D8

Link recovered, I was running, I was beelining, hoofing it, there were bad guys, I ran past them, there was no time, the ground began to smoke, the creepy music started, I could see the pedestal glowing far ahead of me, the sky was turning red, I was running, I was RUNNING—

The clock struck midnight.

I didn’t make it

Zelda’s voice warned.

Dang it....

The vision ended.

I ran still.

THE PEDESTAL STILL GLOWED.

I GOT ON.

TOOK ALL MY CLOTHES OFF.

.

. .

.  .  .

.   .   .   .

.     .     .     .     .

.    .    .    .

.   .   .

.  .

.

.

.

.

AND THERE WAS A SHRIIIIINE! 8D

THE MIJAH ROKEE SHRINE BURST OUT OF THE EARTH JUST THERE IN THE LITTLE DEPRESSION ON TOP OF WASHA’S BLUFF!

Mijah Rokee!

What did Mijah Rokee have in store for me! A blessing perhaps? Surely....

It was a Modest Test of Strength.

I put my clothes back on.

And when I came out, the sun was shining so low and warm and beautiful.

And the accordion was gone.

....

It felt a little hollow.

The Tallest Tower

Waking of Tuesday, June 20, 2017 ~ 2

The Tallest Tower

After a while the canyon widened.... and got wider.... and kept widening. I was getting farther away from the visible tower.

But I kept on my course around the Gerudo Highlands—that’s what these were.

I don’t know why. I just wanted to explore.

It’s a Zelda game.

It was that fever again.

You just want to wander.

I wanted to circumnavigate this mountain range.... probably come back around near Satori Mountain or the Plateau after a big clockwise path....

I got higher and higher until I had to put on my Warm Doublet.... and higher still until even that was insufficient and I had to come back down.

And far away stepping around in its clouds of what David said was dust, I could see the Divine Beast Vah Naboris.

“That’s the Giant Golden Tingle Statue,” he said.

It had been Vah Naboris.

“Well how would you react if you came up over a mountain and saw a three-hundred-foot camel walkin’ around?” he laughed.

I guessed I’d be as flabbergasted as he had been.

The desert stretched out below me, far, far into the distance.... littered with ominously gigantic ribcages and vertebrae—what had those come from? And beyond the sandscape....

Beyond that....

Hhhh.

I saw the sea, and it made me.... sad.

I thought of San Andreas.

I thought of Pacific City.

And I just felt.... sad.

I guess there was something about just the impassable mountains and cliffs you always see in other Zelda games. Those boundaries.

Just the thought of Hyrule—that beautiful land!—nestled somewhere in the vast, indefinable world. Lands and worlds unknown, unseen. Left to the imagination.

But here, on the western edge of the map—and having been to Hateno on the east, and having seen the sea there—and having seen it in the south, beyond the Highland Tower—and seeing it again, here in the west—

I just felt . . . . a sadness.

“Why don’t you go get that shrine?” David pointed to the settlement-looking place I had been watching for a while, way, way out in the desert.

“It looks.... like it could be a friendly place,” I conceded.

“Is the front door open?”

I laughed.

UHF. Fun movie.

Oh, there was plenty down there that had looked intersting to me. That settlement, plenty of ruins, a bit of treasure.... even what appeared to be the location of one of Princess Zelda’s pictographs.

But something still kept me away.... And it wasn’t just this mountain I was exploring....

My thoughts were still back in Akkala. I still had business there.

How had I even gotten this far? All I did was go climb the Lake Tower just to give David a kick and then—suddenly I’m wandering the backside of the Gerudo Highlands.

And then ahead, over a little shoulder of the mountain I saw.... some kind of shape that looked familiar....

It was.... a tower top?

I moved in close. A couple of Bokoblins tried to signal my approach but I rather cut their horn-blasts short. A big black Moblin stepped in to investigate but I Stasised him in his tracks before laying him out flat.

“Nice,” David grinned.

Cool. X-)

I’m feeling quite a bit more confident in combat.

I hiked over the shoulder and it was a tower top. A Sheikah Tower hiding right here in the folds of the mountain! Seemed to be standing in a lower spot in the middle of a ring of cliffs.

There were only a couple more baddies to deal with in the little clifftop camp I’d stumbled upon, but they weren’t too much trouble. And as I raided their spoils, breaking open metal boxes with Magnesis, I was MOST gratified when David shouted in surprise, “Those things BREAK?”

8D

Oh yes they do—and I turned over quite a few rupees that way!

Sweet.

I approached the cliff’s edge to have a look at the Tower’s base. But the hole in which this Sheikah Tower stood was so deep.... that I saw an atmospheric haze before I saw the bottom.

My gosh, this was the tallest Sheikah Tower I had ever seen. o__o

And it had only a handful of platforms on which to rest, all clustered near its top.

And there was something else, up at the crown—a bad guy on top? A top-heavy silhouette moving against the bright sky....

I scoped in.

No it was Kass.

I paraglided over from a high wooden jumping platform, and climbed my way up. Kass sang me another song from his old mentor, this one about shooting an arrow from the tower’s shadow during a certain time of day.... something about piercing heaven’s light....

Shoot for the morning light, I thought fondly.

I could see the platform from which to let fly on a cliff far below....

“Aren’t you gonna activate it??” said David.

“Oh yeah....” I turned to the pedestal. “Almost forgot....”

I dunno what was wrong with me.

I activated the Sheikah Tower—the Gerudo Tower—downloaded the map, and saved.