WHERE THE MEN ARE FINE ARCHERS

Waking of Sunday, January 6, 2019 ~ 3

WHERE THE MEN ARE FINE ARCHERS

It was snowing when I woke up. I’d been hoping for clearer weather, but.... oh well.

From the lodge, I skirted the jagged foothills southward, past the inexorable wolves, until I came the short distance to the great break in the wall of dark stone to my right: Dronoc’s Pass.

The pass opened onto a roughly round kind of dell, with a path leading round the edge, counter-clockwise back toward the north. The path so lay due to that the middle of the dell seemed to be a bottomless, gusty pit, full of dark, reaching spires like teeth.

I could see a round structure higher up at the north end; it looked Rito, and was about the size of one of their dwellings.... And there were big painted target-boards attached here and there to the treacherous rocks.

This seemed to be the Flight Range all right.

I made my way toward the circular building, and could see—Teba?

Someone was on the high platform. He looked like.... a snow white Rito.

I climbed a ladder to access the structure, went inside—there was a lit wok in the middle, but nobody around. Then I turned to the left and could see, on a kind of runway heading out over the dell, someone was hunkered there in the cold, working on something.

He just looked over his shoulder with a gruff, “Yeah?”

It had been voiced with its own cinematic.

This was Teba.

....

He just peered at me with his sharp, slit-pupiled bird’s eye for a moment before turning back to whatever he was doing with that bow, adjusting it, testing its spring.... “I don’t know you. And I’m actually pretty busy here. You should probably go.” His voice was so gruff and harsh....

But I approached him again, and told him that I could help him with Vah Medoh.

“Let me get this straight,” he said in bigger-than-normal font. ._. “Some random Hylian wants to help me bring down Divine Beast Vah Medoh? I’m not buying it. Let me guess, the elder sent you here to talk some sense into me.”

“That’s right,” I said.

And under his breath he murmured, “Just like the elder to trust any old fool who wanders into town.”

We introduced ourselves, and at normal volume he asserted he wasn’t going anywhere until he brought down Vah Medoh—until Vah Medoh fell from the sky. “If I have to kill Medoh... so be it.”

“Then let’s get started,” I say. Lol fresh little punk.

“You’re serious?” said Teba, “HA! Well, far be it from me to talk you off the ledge.”

Oh Dang! XD

I wasn’t sure whether I should like this guy or not....

“But it’s as the elder said: the only way to stop Divine Beast Vah Medoh is to get inside it.” But there was no way we could set foot in Medoh, he added....

“Actually...” I started, like I do, and contradicted.

“Not only are you wingless, you’re brainless too,” Teba retorted, “The only ones able to set foot inside a Divine Beast were the five champions of old, and unfortunately for us and for the rest of Hyrule, they all died 100 years ago.”

But Teba shook this off and came back to the present. “Never mind... Let’s focus on bringing down Medoh...one step at a time.”

He accepted my help and I was on board, but before we did anything, Teba wanted to test me here in this aerial archery training zone, the Flight Range.

He set me to destroy five of the painted targets within three minutes. If I could do that.... we could work together.

I DID IT WAY FASTER. Sailing over the dellpit, riding the gusts, now rising, now letting myself drop, I plugged target after target after target with my bow. And all the while Teba’s voice grunted begrudging encouragements in the background.... Engrossed in the task at hand, I only caught the last two: “One more...” and “Perfect!”

He had a bark of gravel and iron—His voice was so.... low and cool! XD

I pelted my five targets in something like thirty seconds—definitely less than forty—and Teba called me back in.

“Hmm... Not bad at all...for a Hylian.”

Why thank you.

“I’ve got to tell you, Link... When you first showed up, I thought someone was pulling a prank on me. But after seeing you handle that bow, I can tell you’re the real deal. You must have seen a battle or two.”

My choices were “Hundreds of them.” or “I’ve seen a few.”

I wouldn’t boast. “I’ve seen a few,” I said.

He grunted a syllable of laughter in a Hm. “Don’t be modest. I can tell just looking at you. Link... I feel I’ve heard the name somewhere before...”

Hhhh, they said that sometimes....

“Well, if you really want to help me bring down Medoh, it’s now or never. I’ll get you into position so you can give its cannons all you’ve got. Inside that treasure chest is a bow I’ve modified. Take it, and let me know when you’re ready.”

I went to check it out.... Ooh, a Falcon Bow.

It looked cool.

Teba told me normal arrows wouldn’t put a dent in Vah Medoh’s cannons. I’d need Bomb Arrows. “These are a precious commodity, so don’t expect me to do this again, but... take these Bomb Arrows.”

He gave me twenty. Don’t worry, Teba, I won’t waste them.

“Also, it’ll be cold up there. You’ll want to prepare a warm meal or bring some warm clothes.”

Well it was a good thing I was packing my W I N G A L I N G   H A T !

The plan was that he would draw Medoh’s fire, and I would destroy the four cannons.

Ohhhhhdfhdsjkalghjklgjfkl....

“I’m ready,” I say.

“All right. But let me ask you just one question,” Teba said, “Why are you doing this? Why risk your life to bring down Medoh?”

He sure dropped the Vah a lot....

Oh gosh my CHOICES.

“To rescue Zelda.”, “To save Rito Village.”, “I can’t just watch...”, or “Just because.”

Hm. I thought about this.... I was gonna be honest and say.... “To rescue Zelda.”

“Zelda? But that’s the name of the princess Revali served 100 years ago at Hyrule Castle. I don’t know what she has to do with Divine Beast Vah Medoh, but whatever. As long as you’re helping me bring down Medoh, your motivation is fine by me.”

....

“...Right. Get on.”

Oh my gosh!

He was a large Rito, not as large as Prince Sidon, but his wings seemed powerful and I didn’t suppose it was unbelievable that he could carry me!

We fly out! I’m on his back!

He told me if I wanted to retreat to just hover in the updraft for a moment and he would come get me—Vah Medoh was surrounded by a tempestuous updraft.... Good thing for me.

When we drew close, the Divine Beast threw up a blazing red force field that seemed to sizzle—it encapsulated the Beast entirely except for four protruding points.... THE CANNONS.

I jumped off Teba’s back and he peeled off and flew around and I could see the first cannon’s targeting laser chasing after him as he rocketed in great wheeling arcs through the air! But I had to focus on the cannon—as it was distracted I drew my bow mid-air and shot a Bomb Arrow at it—came up short—and so I hovered closer riiisiiing, DROPPING, riiisiiing, DROPPING and I shot it again at much closer range and got it this time and its life only went down halfway so I shot it again and BOOM it was down!

I circled counter-clockwise round the Beast to the next cannon and then—“Watch out!” came Teba’s voice—the next cannon was targeting ME!

“Teba I thought you said you would draw its fire!” D8

Cannons 2 – 4 put me in their sights, but the lasers had a devil of a time finding me as I paraglided up and then fell, up and down, up and down through the endless updraft. Teba flying around, wheeling, circling, calling out every once in a while in his gravel-iron bark things like “It’s targeting us!” And I going round so slowly it felt—the Beast was huge—until I finally blew up the last cannon!

“That’s done it!” said Teba, or something like it. “Well done, Link!” or some such words....

And he soared around....

And I thought “Now come get me, Teba!”  .____.

But I paraglided on down toward the Divine Beast.

And Teba watched.... and then grunted with a grimace.

Oh! D8

His left thigh.... was scorched right through. Ugh...

“Bad news, Link,” he said, his voice becoming more ragged. But I could tell he was trying his utmost to tough it out. “Looks like I got hit pretty good back there.”

He was hurting.

He said he was afraid he would have to get back to the Flight Range.

“If I can make it there,” he added.

BUCK UP, Teba, of COURSE you can make it back! 8C

“It’s all you,” he said, and gave a thumbs-up with his left outstretched wing-hand.... and then peeled away like a jet.

And I floated down onto the stern of the Divine Beast.

The top.... was mossy.

Felt....

....like some kind of Ghibli movie....

[[Now that I had a clear picture of Teba in my head—tall, white, stark, and gruff; pointed crest feathers springing back from his crown in an aerodynamic rush, sharp beak glinting, sharper eyes glaring—artworks began to dance in my mind of painful, post-assault shelterings in the Eye of the Neck, the freshly injured Harth wincing back against the stone, Teba casting a protective wing over him as he glares hungrily back up into the dark and flashing sky. There is rain....

Perhaps it miffed Harth even more that he was the one who’d been hit, even though the bright white Teba really should have presented a clearer target. But he would not stomach holding that thought for long....]]

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

Waking of Friday, November 16, 2018 ~ 2

Clean Up Your Room and Go To Bed, Hero

From the Maka Rah Shrine....

Tera. I went to Tera.

I had two Naydra hornshards now.... I could have upgraded my Champion’s Tunic.... if I wanted.

....

I DID. I UPGRADED THE CHAMPION’S TUNIC, and finding myself in possession of further required materials I KEPT UPGRADING UNTIL IT WAS AT ITS MAXIMUM LEVEL, WITH 32 DEFENSE! MORE THAN TWICE WHAT IT HAD BEEN AT BEFORE. AND I UPGRADED THE HYLIAN CLOTHES. AND THE ZORA AMOR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR SINCE I HAD SIXTEEN CORES NOW. AND THE DESERT VOE GEAR. AND THE ANCIENT ARMOR AGAIN BECAUSE ON THE NEXT AND FINAL UPGRADE EACH PIECE REQUIRED A STAR FRAGMENT AND TWO GIANT ANCIENT CORES. And well.... I just happened to have SEVEN GIANT ANCIENT CORES ON ME. And if I hadn’t been saving them for this.... then what?

UPGRADE ALL THE THINGS.

AND EVERYTHING HAD BEEN CAST TO THE BACK OF MY INVENTORY.

AND ALL MY FAVORITE CLOTHES WERE OFF THE FIRST PAGE.

AND EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF ORDER AND WOULD TAKE FOREVER TO MANEUVER BACK TO EVEN SOME SEMBLANCE OF ITS FORMER STRUCTURE BY FAIRY-ENHANCEMENTS ALONE.

IT WAS ALL OUT OF ORDER.

AND THEN.

I SORTED MY CLOSET.

SORTED SORTED. And it was done now. Couldn’t undo it.

It was done.

And that was all right.

Hoo. Andrea: 1, OCD: 0.

I went to Kakariko to test my maxed-out Guardian Armor, but stopped to talk to Impa on the way. I tried to get that orb in her house again, but no, not yet, she still wasn’t having it.

What happens when you bring it to the pedestal up the hill?

Hhhhh.

I guessed I wouldn’t find out today.

So out the back I went, onto the Sahasra Slope; and a sharp left turn and a hug along the cliffs brought me as always to my favorite monster to milk: the Pit Guardian.

Once I’d attracted its attention, and the terrifying Piano began ripping up the sky above my head in a panic.... I stood my ground, and waited. Facing it.

I let it hit me full on once, in my Ancient Armor. And the hit took off.... five or six hearts.

I’d seen Lynels take off more than that in a single hit.

Well that was cool! :D

My curiosity sated, I killed it.

And it gave me a Giant Ancient Core back. Part of the Ancient Proficiency perk? Maybe.

Ah, life was good.

Shortly thereafter I was distracted by a star fragment that fell into the central plains. I went to get it and came back via the Dueling Peaks Tower. I killed the other two Guardians near the Pit—and the freakin’ stalcreatures were out and making life difficult—but DANG the sound my glowing sword made when it killed was like THUNDER.

RESOUNDING.

POWERFUL.

MY GOSH.

Feeling brash and bold and amazingly confident in my armor and with my parrying skills and wielding the Master Sword, I worked my way back infield and onto the plains. I was going to go to the ranch! To see what was there.... Maybe another horse! Maybe another special horse!

I forgot the Guardians and whatever paltry bother they posed! I was comin’ up bold as brass! I killed the Guardians that spotted me! AND dodged those freakin’ pesky mounted Bokoblins!

That one Big Yigaman posed some problems; I was fighting with him when I again heard the Guardian music! I killed him quickly, and then faced the mechanical menace. It was hard and I took some blasts to the face, but I got him in the end....

NOW to the ranch....

But oh, wait.... my controller was in the red.

....

I could have used the Pro Controller.... David favors that one, and I’ve used it a few times.... like whenever my battery’s run low.... But.... Hm, maybe not against Guardians yet....

I set the WiiU Controller in its cradle, and.... dozed.... on the couch. It was late. But I didn’t wanna let it sit for more than an hour, or it would turn off.... dozed.... dozed....

And I SNIFFED AND SAT UP OH I WAS TIRED.

Ugh—

I couldn’t do the ranch right now.

I warped to Pepp’s. Slept and saved it. Went to bed.

That was enough.

Divine Beast Vah Naboris

Waking of Saturday, July 28, 2018 ~ 4

Divine Beast Vah Naboris

I stood on a belly-level deck of the Divine Beast Vah Naboris. The world moved and spun dizzyingly all around me far below as the gigantic legs turned and worked.

The ride was surprisingly smooth.

“Well, well, well,” said Urbosa’s voice.

What did she go on to say....?

Much the same as the other Champions had said, I think, though her tone was definitely her own.

I liked her. She always felt so straightforward and honest. Fierce but peaceable. No nonsense. She let nothing burden her, and focused on what needed to be done.

And the first thing that needed to be done was for me to download that map....

The Inside of Vah Naboris was largely cylindrical—and it came with its own share of Malicious Eyeballs and a few minor Guardian Crawlies.... which I dispatched.

But this Beast....

Vah Naboris seemed to have the most moving parts of any Divine Beast I had yet encountered. The barrel inside of its main body was comprised of three rotating drums, and depending on how I aligned these, the inner struts and ramps and platforms would allow me to access different portals to exterior decks—or the main control unit, mounted in the center drum. So this was where it would all go down....

And then there was the circuitry—each drum had a single, large, front-to-back conductive strip that could be rotated to top, bottom, starboard, or port. And when these were properly aligned, they transferred power to different areas of the Beast, setting further components into motion!

But there was more that was different here....

The music felt backward this time.

In Vah Ruta and Vah Rudania, when I had started out, the music had been open, up for grabs, awaiting possibilities. But here....

The Piano seemed.... malcontent. The underchords floated around, dizzy and obscure, bemoaning awful things I’m sure, but the Piano, just—it would just pound every once in a while.

Like it was angry at me.

Like it didn’t want me to be there.

Like something.... didn’t want me to be there.

And instead of the soft and open music catching on to my presence and growing darker and faster and more threatening over time.... here the music started out in BLATANT threat, and as I located and activated terminals.... a sound stronger and more organized seemed to commandeer the air—

The Champion Urbosa and I were going to take back this Divine Beast. And Ganon knew it. How we strove together in such terrific concert! But terminal after terminal, that HOPEFUL DORIAN GLOWING permeated deeper throughout the soundtrack, wrapping it up, encompassing it, and sounding to the universe and fate that Good was here, and it was able.

Well, able enough.

Though there were some segments of Vah Naboris that still boggled me right out of my head—not the least of which was that danged treasure chest hanging off the tippity-tip of Vah Naboris’ TAIL. By a ROPE.

I would not be able to sever the rope and Magnese the chest in time. I had tried on too many other objects. Magnesis was not fast.

Even the upward-position of Vah Naboris’ caboose didn’t bring the chest in close enough laterally to land on a deck should I sever its rope.

Where the chest was connected seemed to be an enormous hinge. Maybe if I Stasised the chest and then moved the caboose....

No good. The rope snapped and the chest fell into sandy oblivion.

You bet your Sweet Canadian Mullets I reloaded. Forgive me, dear Korok Leaf that I had to put down! For it vanished on the reload.

Maybe if I moved the caboose in the opposite direction, it could catch the chest from beneath when the Stasis let go....

Nope—it just pushed it down and away toward its doom.

Dang it!

What the heck kinda camel has a detachable caboose anyway? I haven’t seen one of those since.... the Opus and Bill cartoon. What was that even....?

I ran back upstairs so many times trying to get that chest—I am sure I walked in places I was never meant to walk.

David thought I was crazy when I would stand at the back of the caboose, manipulate the circuits to make it swing upward, and then step over the farthest edge as it rose to meet me.

It was terrifying when I would misstep coming out of a paraglide, and plummet suddenly toward the sand three hundred feet below. And how Vah Naboris kept walking! But the furthest reaches of its exterior structuring were blessedly free of the wind of its movements. My many jumps surely should not have been possible. But with a wreck of pounding in my chest I always managed to glide back toward a lower deck.... and try again.

In the end the chest solution was easier than I’d thought—like so many things. I grazed the rope’s base with the corona of a Fire Arrow. And as the rope burned, I clutched onto the chest with a vindictive Magnesis!

And all my Foolish persistence was worth it—the chest contained an Ancient Core.

Ah.... Happy Day.

That chest was the last thing I cleaned up. I had already activated all the terminals, Urbosa’s voice guiding me onward in strength and encouragement; she knew I was ready to proceed.... But I just hadn’t wanted to move forward without picking up every last thing....

But now that Vah Naboris had been completely cleaned out—I’d even found a few sweet mushrooms in deep storage up in its back; that was nice—it was time to return to the central drum, and activate the main control unit.

Return to Hateno

Waking of Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Return to Hateno

I wanted to play, but there were people around; I could not continue on with my main quest with that kind of buzzkill risk hanging in the air.

Have I only lost faith in humanity?

Hm.

I warped from Gerudo Canyon to the Shrine of Kaam Ya’Tak. There were plenty of crawlies in there; surely one of them would drop an Ancient Core for me....

No joy.

So I warped to Hateno—I could have sworn there was somebody who sold Guardian parts SOMEWHERE near there.... someone I’d met a long time ago on the road....

No luck.

But I did buy that fancy armor set David had reminded me of in his playthrough—the Soldier’s Armor. And I showed Nebb the Moblin Club, for which viewing he gave me fifty rupees! That was nice. :) The next thing he wanted to see was a Duplex Bow....

Haeh, well.... given where I was fixing to go in the near future that didn’t seem like too tall an order.

I also cleaned up an old sidequest by stepping behind the counter and addressing the lady inkeep directly. Dunno why I hadn’t tried that before.... I asked her what she liked, and she told me “Darners!” more out of a desperation to get rid of me than out of honest consideration. I relayed this to the lovesick chump down the street who’d put me up to it, whereafter he paid me a royal rupee for a handful of my own darners. I don’t even remember which kind.... I had plenty to spare.

I also made a friend at the inn, Worten. He was just sitting out on this patio I had never explored, looking content with the world. He was a traveler like me, and he told me about a few of the places he’d visited—or at least tried to; he hadn’t actually made it to Goron City. Nor had he been able to enter Gerudo Town. But he said if I was looking for adventure, I might try Zora’s Domain or Rito Village, though both of those were quite a ways away.

The sight of him contentedly sipping from his mug as he sat there in the breezy shade was so happily striking that I took a pictograph.

It’s a good one.

I felt like I might have been overworking poor Cotera, so I warped to Mija’s fountain in Akkala to see what she could make of my new armor set. She was able to enhance each piece two levels at least—three levels for the greaves. But I needed Hinox guts for further upgrades.

Fortunately I knew where a few Hinoxes could be found.

At Digdogg Suspension Bridge I left I think it was Memory a couple of bridges out while I marched straight in and killed the Hinox myself—ON FOOT! And I didn’t even get squished. :)

But the brute didn’t drop any guts. Cheapskate.

I boarded Memory again, warped to Dueling Peaks, took out Brown, and—dear me.... as I had done long ago in the dreary, dreary rain.... rode him down the long Hateno Road.

I had not taken that road in so, so long.

Why is that?

....

I don’t know.

Maybe my very first Yiga encounters had made me shy of it.

Maybe the pressing danger of the Yiga and the madness of the Valley of Terror had made me detest Hateno, and its road.

I still have not purchased that house.

....

We’ll see.

I spoke to everyone I met along the Hateno Road, and this time.... good luck was with me—I met a man named Teli, who sold GUARDIAN PARTS. Er, Ancient Tech, I mean.

However bad luck was with me too, for he carried no cores.

Hhhhh.

I rode Brown onward into Hatenooooish lands. One more place to check.

David keeps saying They’re in shrines! The cores.

Well, I knew of one shrine with a high chance of core capacity, that’s.... an odd way to word it.... core containment, no.... breach the core, um.... mockingbirds—

—I knew of ONE shrine with a high chance of containing an Ancient Core. I had quit from it many moons before in a bid to preserve mine own life. Just quit from it—I hadn’t known how to load a previous save from within the menu.

I had Brown take me back to it this time, while I maintained a rotation of different masks; for we passed roaming Moblins in the Woods of Concussion, and Bokoblins in the heights beyond.

The great, jutting mountain-cliff beside the sea was perhaps not well suited for horses, but we picked our way as best we could between stones and along ledges (Brown at one point attempting to align to a path crossing forty feet below us), and we made fair progress until we reached the highest, broadest open shelf.

The Shrine that stood at its tip over the ocean may very well have been the most prominent Shrine on the map. You could see it for miles from many directions. Maybe that’s what had drawn me to it so long ago. I’d been out of my depth, then. But now.... I was stronger.

On the flat, open ground Brown and I broke into a welcome gallop, slipping past the strong camp of curious Bokoblins until we were safe about the reaches of the shrine.

Even so, I led Brown around to the shady back of it, out of sight of the baddies.... just in case.

And then I stepped inside the shrine—the Muwo Jeem Shrine—and faced the long-feared Modest Test of Strength that had so daunted me into retreating before.

I beat it easily this time.

But there were still no cores for me.

Hhhh.

Well, it was another Spirit Orb anyway. I was overdue to pray at a Goddess statue....

I rode Brown back down the mountain [back toward home I wrote in my original notes—To Hateno? Strange of me....]—it was a little tricky to reclaim the path we had imagined for ourselves to get up here in the first place. And when we finally reached the road, I met Teli again.

I asked him about his wares just to see.

AND HE HAD A CORE!

I BOUGHT IT. FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED RUPEES AND THEN SOME.

SWEET.

Aha! So Ancient Cores could be bought!

It was raining as I galloped back westward. But I was feeling too jubilant—this called for a change of outfit! I ripped off my Bokoblin Mask. And then.... I ripped off everything else! And rode back to Dueling Peaks in my skin.

“Well, you’re looking peppy today, stranger!” said Tasseren the stablehand when I came to board Brown again, and I laughed.

Necluda's Backyard

Waking of Saturday, June 2, 2018 ~ 3

Necluda’s Backyard

I didn’t have enough cores on me to get the Ancient Greaves from Cherry. But with twenty-three gears.... I was able to have Cotera upgrade my Ancient Helm and Ancient Cuirass.

Funny how I could just blow them all like that. I guess when terror and difficulty no longer affect the value by creating rarity and scarcity.... Hrm, then again with a more ready supply for my demand maybe I could even make a little cash on the side....

But I never really studied economics.

I needed to get to the desert, but I only warped to Dueling Peaks. I don’t know what it is—sometimes I just like to take my journeys in smaller steps.

However this does make it easier to get distracted. After learning from Hino that there would be no blood moon tonight, I went inside the stable and spoke to a couple of guys I hadn’t interacted with in a long time, but whose facial animations I just really enjoyed: Domidak and Prissen, twins I think, brothers at least, stood in the back of the stable musing on some mysterious clue they had heard regarding the hidden treasure of one Misko.

I remembered. They would tell me the clue if I paid them a hundred rupees. When I’d talked to them the last time, which was also the first time, I blew them off right away! I didn’t have money to just throw around!

Well, now I did. I paid their silly price and they told me the clue, something about the little twin over the little river, and that the treasure was at that river’s source....?

A glance at the map told me all I needed to know: the Big Twin and Little Twin Bridges were just a stone’s cast south of the stable.

One sizeable climb up a waterfall later and I had found Misko’s treasure: a few fine ore samples, and no shortage of rupees.

Nice.

As long as I was so high up I decided to have a little look around, and kept climbing the mountain. The peak didn’t seem too far distant, and I was betting I’d find a Korok at least—which I did.

I also found that I was a little bit off my charted map.

I did not know the name of this mountain, but it certainly offered me some great views, particularly of the red plateaus beyond Faron Woods. I could even see a Blue-Maned Lynel prowling around the top of one broad butte, roaring in the rain. I Stasised him for kicks before marking his location on my map; I’d have to be careful when I ventured out that way—

AND THEN OF A SUDDEN FAROSH CAME FLOATING UP OUT OF A SMALL LAKE. I watched him arc smoothly into the air to swoop low over the watery valley between the red buttes.... and then descend into another small lake on the other side.

And then after a while, he flew the same graceful path in reverse. Heh. It made me think of something playful, jumping from puddle to puddle, only greatly slowed for its enormous scale.

And then after a time, he emerged from one of the lakes, and took to the sky.

David had never seen him do this before. But I had.

We watched him for his whole, long, slow flight, up into his vortex of cloud far away above the distant sea....

I only guessed it was above the water for the marker I stuck to his tail just as he was disappearing; it showed up on my map pretty far to the south....

David enjoyed the rare sight anyway. :)

But now.... I really did want to be on my way toward the desert.

I’d thought about seeing if I could paraglide all the way back to the stable from the heights above the waterfall, but David suggested I go straight down and keep to the cliff’s edge along the river on my way out. There wasn’t even a bank down there that I could see.... But, trusting in his tidbit, I performed one of the more thrilling HALO-jumps I’d ever done and pulled up on my paraglider just short of smattering all over the large stone at the waterfall’s base.

Link’s got good arms.

I waded downstream until I came to a little stretch of explodable wall! This I removed with a Bomb I let float down the current toward it, and when I came round to see what lay beyond the opening, I was shocked to discover.... a Shrine!

And then I remembered my Sheikah Sensor had still been tuned to detect Hearty Bass.

Heh. Silly me.

I switched my Sensor back to detecting Shrines, and then stepped inside this one, the Toto Sah Shrine. There were Apparatuses inside. Uh, Apparati?

At any rate it was a most engaging challenge. And when I was done I combed the little woods nearby to see what I had placed stamps there for—I was rather at the limit of how many stamps I could place on my map, and wanted to get rid of what I could.

I found the treasure box I had marked, but I could not make sense of why I had placed a leaf stamp nearby. I removed it anyway.

Aside from that, the only other interesting thing I found was a Stalnox lying facedown under the sunshine. I decided I didn’t want to hang around for when that thing woke up, and so made my way back to the Dueling Peaks Stable via the adjoining Valley of Terror.

I find myself no more struck with incapacitating fear in the face of Guardians.

I can handle them.

When I finally got back to the stable, and told Domidak and Prissen that I had found Misko’s treasure.... they didn’t believe me.

Eh, that was okay.

I’d gained back more rupees than I had paid them for the clue.

I rode Brown all the way to the desert with only a few more stops along the way—grabbed a Moblin Club to show Nebb in Hateno.... almost rode right by an embattled Mils and Mina.... but turned around to make sure they were all right anyway.... And they were.

It rained a lot.

Eventually and on the last legs of my battery, I made it to the Gerudo Canyon Stable, where I saved, and quit.

Link The Physical

Waking of Saturday, June 2, 2018 ~ 2

Link The Physical

TO BUSINESS....

David’s ahead of me. But I would show him something he’d never done. Something I’d never done either, to be honest, but....

Well, I had faith it was possible.

Actualy.... I knew it was possible!

I’d become quite practiced at avoiding spoilerish images on the internet, but.... I recalled catching it in one YouTube thumbnail I had seen.... it had been pretty striking....

Also I’d heard tell from my Compendium that it was a thing that you could do.

As I ran from the Wetland Stable toward the Honeydell (and saved Leekah again), I felt appropriate in rather recreating what I had glimpsed in that thumbnail, and started stripping off my clothes. I left a rugged-looking spear on my back, though. And so, looking a proper barbarian, I came to the edge of the dell and peered down. The rain made it difficult to see, but there were unmistakably two bears down there.

That.... could complicate matters. I was hardly sure I could handle one bear—how could I be sure the other wouldn’t attack me while I was at it?

As I hemmed and hawed, shirtless Link did something I’d never seen him do before—seemed the programmers had added a new stance dance move....

Suddenly I saw his arms rise slowly up from his sides, straight out—I swung the camera around him to see what he was on about....

And then flex! He regarded one bicep, and then with a slight shift in posture turned his head to admire the other.

Oh my gosh! XD Oh I laughed so much at that.... XD XD XD

Well, eventually one bear ran off, but the remaining one wouldn’t come out of the cave. I couldn’t deal with it like that....

And then that one suddenly ran off too, and I was bearless.

Eh, as it was night, I returned to the Wetland Stable and rested until the morning. Whereupon I gave Honeydell another go, but there were no bears.

Hmph.

So I tried Shadow Pass. I’d seen a bear in there before. And my Compendium said they could be found in the Akkala Highlands. But when I got there all I found was a wolf.

I bounced between the two for a while, Honeydell and Shadow Pass, but with no luck—just a really bad encounter with an electric Keese in the rain—NEVER AGAIN—

And.... David had stepped out again anyway, so.... I decided to hunt some more Guardians in the meanwhile.

Back to Lomei Labyrinth. I killed the Crawler. I killed the maze-lurker. And then.... it was time to revisit the dread basement.

When I floated down this time.... they all could see me coming! I sailed quickly behind the giant pillar by the entrance....

Four Decayed Guardians in the room. That’s how many lasers there had been. I peeked round the pillar’s edge until one of them saw me.

Hoo. I could do this.

I stepped out again, its laser found me, the Piano got restless, and I had to time my parry very carefully this time—the Guardians’ laserbolts were fast, but they still took time to traverse the yards between us. A very short time....

But I whacked it back across the room nonetheless, and that Guardian exploded. Excellent!

On to the next!

I killed the four Decayed ones that way, peeping round the pillar. But there were two Stalkers left. And for those ones all I could do was . . . . well walk up to them as surely as I might, until they came to life.

Sparks and embers rained from the ceiling where the lightning struck on the maze’s rainy surface.

I almost had to come right up between the splay of their spider legs before they’d finally wake up.

Ughuhuh.

But I did it. Twice. And the swell of Strings carried me through the maniacal Piano, and presently every threat was eliminated, and I....

I HAD CLEANED THE BASEMENT.

And its yield brought me up to twenty-three gears! ^_^

HUH! After this, that thing I wanted to show David would surely pose no problem at all!

I warped back to the Wetland, and luck was on my side: the day was fair, and only one bear prowled in the Honeydell, and that well away from the cave.

David wasn’t there, but.... I knew he would be shortly.

Switching once again to my Nature Boy outfit, I leapt off the edge as silently as I could, and paraglided down in a calculated sail toward the bear . . . it was so big up close.

It sensed me just before I landed on its back, and then started jumping and rearing, trying to throw me off....

My stamina is greater than it has been—two full wheels.

And with it I was able to hold on.... and soothe the bear.

After only a moment it stood still, and only rocked in its lumbering animal stance dance beneath me.

Oh my gosh I tamed a bear! XD

And I got it to walk! :D I headed toward the road....

I’d seen David ride a deer at a walk before, but when he had tried to give it a spur it had bucked him off.

Could I get the bear to go faster than a walk? Safely at least?

But I was content to just go lumbering forward for the moment. It was such a big animal—and its tail was quite as fluffy as a rabbit’s!

As I neared the way out of the dell, the bear roared and tried to throw me off again, but I was able to soothe it once more.

It was around this time that David entered the room.

“....Why are you riding a bear?” he said flatly.

“Well that’s not the reaction I was hoping for!” I said, “Have you ever ridden a bear?”

“No,” he laughed.

But I was glad that I seemed to have thoroughly captured his attentions with the spectacle for the moment. ^_^

Spectacled.... Spectacled bear.

LOL.

I asked him about spurring his deer before, and then.... decided to try it on the bear. I hit A—

And the bear started into a great burly lope! It ran down the road! With me on its back! Oh my gosh! XD XD

At whiles it would get tired of me and grunt and roar, but I was able to get it all the way back to the Wetland Stable.

And I wondered....

The more attentive denizens of the stable all cowered and whimpered at my approach—even Kass siffened and looked at me with some pause, his accordion momentarily forgotten. But Lawdon (whom I’d been giving a lot of business to lately) said automatically when I rode up, “Well, looks like you’ve caught yourself a new steed! Would you like to register it?”

“Yes, please!”

“Understoo— Uh...”

And then he looked at my big new mount.

“Oh for the love of Hylia... That’s not a horse!”

XD XD XD XD

“We only board horses here, no exceptions,” he told me.

XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

Oh that was PRECIOUS! ^_^

Ah!

Delightful. > u <

Agh well I figured I’d dealt with the poor bear for long enough at that point. But when I thought about dismounting.... I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t go savaging all the people standing around.

So I rode him back home.

It was rather terrifying and alarming every time he tried to buck me off. And I wondered if, when I let him go.... he’d turn on me and I’d have to kill him.

I equipped something a bit stronger than my scary-looking Nature Boy spear, just in case. But when I got off, we just ran our separate ways from each other.

Heh. Cool.

I rode a bear! ^_^

The Piano's Rival

Waking of Saturday, June 2, 2018

The Piano’s Rival

David was with me when I started up in Kakariko!

He’s always so far ahead but now I would show him something he’d never seen or done before!

Maybe a few things! :D

Those Guardians would have come back after the Blood Moon—I went out back and approached the one in the Pit. And when I paraglided down to the little hilly rockpile, below the line of safe escape, facing the monstrosity even as it glowed hot angry pink and lasered in to take careful aim at my heart and the Piano pounded indignation at this brazen affront.... David could not believe what I was doing.

BUT I HELD MY GROUND!

Careful now.... CAREFUL NOW....

“What are you doing?” David gasped.

The targeting laser steadied, the Guardian beeped.... beeped....

....

. . . . . . .

BEEPED . . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

It always took longer than you thought or wanted . . . .

But it was not until the FLASH—and absolutely no later than its first shining—that I swung my shield as the blue-white bolt of death-made-light came streaking in an instant up the field!

KHING!

And the satisfying slow-down so that I could see the reflected bolt almost frozen in the air, bounced back, its trajectory sure....

“Whaaaat?” said David.

And the normal flow of time resumed and the Guardian took the hit in the face!

“WHAAAT?” said David.

And then, riding over the deadly triplitive Piano came a swell of Strings, shining against the terror, just for a moment. At each successful hit they came back, breathing cool strength into the sound. The Guardians were not the only terrors to be reckoned with on this earth!

And this time, my Perfect Parry really was perfect. And in three hits.... the Guardian was down.

MAN THAT FELT SO GOOD! As I sailed down to collect all the bits left behind! So many gears! ^_^ So cool.

And what was more.... when I checked my inventory.... MY SHIELD WAS STILL SPARKLY!! 8D I’d come in with a new shield—and the Perfect Parry had upheld its quality, prolonged its life!

AWESOME! XD

I climbed up over the PitGate to see if I could sneak up on the other.... and we saw it creeping around below, quite close to the vertical rockface. I paraglided down.... and landed on its head.

“David! Look!”

The Guardian continued to crawl around, flicking its juddering, hundred-year-old gaze over the grass. Evidently it didn’t know I was there.

But every time it started and turned and started again, I had to readjust my footing on top of its can-head, even as Link bent slightly in that spring-ready stance he takes whenever an enemy is near....

Got kinda tricky when the Guardian wouldn’t get away from the wall, and started tipping....

Oh my gosh.... XD

I hopped down at some point and tried to have it out proper with this one too, but—

Well, my practice wasn’t perfect yet.

In the rolling confusion of close fire I warped away to the Wetland Stable....

That one was close enough to the Honeydell....

Turning the Tables

Waking of Thursday, May 31, 2018 ~ 2

Turning the Tables

Many, many moons ago, before any moons I could remember, before moons were moons, I hurried with a shake from the cold and entered into the Keh Namut Shrine, high on the Great Plateau, and found myself face to face with a three-legged devil terror that wanted to kill me.

It was only the second Guardian I had ever faced, the first having appeared before me in the Shrine of Oman Au.

But in engaging that second one.... somehow....

....Somehow I blocked that one with my shield and learned something called the Perfect Parry.

Hopefully I’ll be able to employ this more purposefully in the future....

That was it....

I checked my list of skills. It was actually called the Perfect Guard, but I think I preferred the alliteration.

That was it. That was what I was remembering.

I.... had never taken the time to finesse my swordplay—I’d always imagined I would, in the future, at some point....

But I never had.

But now....

Well I wanted to show David something but he wasn’t coming and I dared not do anything important in the meanwhile but I could go hunting because I needed those gears for the Ancient Cuirass—

AND I WAS GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME FOR THE PRESENT ANYWAY.

I needed gears. And only Guardians had gears.

So....

Up to my aid came the memory of an accidental parry, and....

I wanted to test it.

I wanted to try doing it on purpose.

Perhaps it had only been foolish to think of making the attempt in the middle of that basement full of nightmares, but.... where could I....?

I knew.

Back to Robbie’s place—The Decayed Guardian down the hill would suffice for the experiment. I floated down to say hello....

I.... stood my ground.... and held my shield....

No was it a two-handed weapon in my grasp? What was I doing—Daruk’s protection wore thinner....

I had come in too fast without a plan—And then as I could not take much more I made a dash for the other side of the stone, falling shamefully back to a panicked mashing of buttons.... I was Z-targeting, but I was facing away. The blast came. Daruk roared again.

But—

....

And the Guardian died?

How had—?

Was it because the shield had been on my back?

That happened to me in Majora’s Mask.

But if the shield were not actually deployed (for it was a Guardian shield)....

....

This needed more practice.

I collected the Guardian’s remains—there were no gears.

Cheapskate.

I was out of Ancient Arrows anyway. I didn’t want to go charging up against any more Guardians, decayed or not, without some backup. So it was back to Robbie’s again, where I bought ten more arrows. But I only had eighteen or nineteen gears. Not enough for the Cuirass.

Soon.... VERY SOON....

I warped to Kakariko Village—there were a couple more fairly manageable Guardians near there. I wanted to see if I could get more gears, continue practicing the Perfect Parry and, if need be, put my new arrows to use.

Oh my gosh I was hunting Guardians.

My first target was that one in the pit out back, at the top of the Sahasra Slope.

That first live one I’d ever seen....

Where was this Courage coming from?

....

I guess.... the lightning strikes near you often enough, and makes the earth to shake....

At some point you just stop trembling.

....

But you try not to get struck nonetheless.

My timing was very much off, and I lost my footing in the fireballs. One laserbolt destroyed my Guardian Shield and I had to switch to a Knight’s Shield—It wasn’t Ancient Tech; would it work the same?

This was a dangerous skill to practice; there was no padded training arena for this. But Daruk protected me. And Mipha kept watch.

I managed to take the Pit Guardian down using only the Perfect Parry followed up with normal arrows to its eye.

I slew a Guardian without an Ancient Arrow.

And the second one just through the PitGate and out on the grass was almost as manageable! But, as Daruk became exhausted with my poor sense of timing—and, as I also lost my Knight’s Shield to a laserbolt—I did use an Ancient Arrow to finish that one off.

Two Guardians with one Arrow. Heh.

I made one last stop at Cotera’s to see if there were anything I could upgrade—turned out there were—I bumped up the defense on some of my Circlets.

And then it was back to Robbie’s once again because those two Guardians out back of Kakariko had bumped me up to twenty-four gears!

I HAD ENOUGH GEARS FOR THE CUIRASS!

AND CHERRY MADE IT FOR ME!

KhuAGH! My wallet!  >⩄<

But it didn’t matter—I had enough rupees—and now I had two of the three pieces of armor that would defend me from my deepest nightmares!

DANG it, Nintendo! I said it before! Why do they do this!

The only way to acquire the thing that would make your most dreaded trial more bearable.... is to first complete your most dreaded trial without it! OH you cruel ironic building my character so I can—hrrmph!

Back to Cotera’s and I upgraded my new Cuirass, for there were no gears required for the first level. Plenty of lesser parts, but I had enough of those to spare.

There were gears required for the second level of upgrades: ten gears per piece for the Ancient Armor set. I assumed it would be the same case with the Ancient Greaves. After the twenty gears it would cost me to acquire those in the first place....

These things were so expensive.... and not just in rupees.

But.... I was getting better.

Soon I would become better still.

A Blood Moon rose as I ran around Cotera’s forest.

More gears would be ready and waiting for me to collect them.

SOON.

I just needed a few more shields. Mine were running out pretty quick.