Journal Of Two Very Specific Worries In Particular

Waking of Friday, June 14, 2019 (comprised of raw note editings from April 5, 2023 through April 17, 2023 that I really hope sound consistent because I left it alone for too long)

Journal Of Two Very Specific Worries In Particular

As I had already gotten it, and was subsequently unafraid of spoilers, I went looking around YouTube for clues regarding the Toto Sah Shrine below Misko’s Cache. I wanted to know whether it would still audibly ping the Sheikah Slate’s sensor while the rocks were still blocking it.

I mean I didn’t see why it wouldn’t.... after all, that Thing Under The Mountain shrine in Akkala had still brreep-brreeped at me.... But I was paranoid....

I found a video about the Necludic shrines. Inadvertently saw the shrine name Lokna Rokee.

Lokna Rokee? .... I didn’t recognize that name. Was that Impa’s Shrine?

But if it was listed here, on this video, then....

Did that mean it wasn’t the last shrine you got?

Did that mean you could get it at any time?

I’d just imagined the final shrine to be.... hidden until you were upon the time of finding it, and then somehow scripted. I’d imagined that.... it must have been a combat shrine. A combat shrine unlike any other.... My mind was pulled away once again to that hole in the pattern beneath the Eldin Great Skeleton. That blasted thumbnail I had seen.... and which STILL cropped up sometimes.... It looked so like the Deplian Badlands....

Hmmmm....

....

I was going to see if I could steal the old lady’s orb and finally put it in its pedestal.

....

I have just had a scary time booting up my console.

When I power it down, I will watch the orange light.

....

Okay, I was in Hateno.

....

It felt.... off, with David and Savannah here just giggling at memes.

I was still in my Gerudo harem-pant pajamas.

I am going to go to Kakariko Village. That’s where I’m going.

But first, it was a brief visit to Fyson in Tarrey Town, for arrows. Then Botrick for arrows again. But oh, Botrick was still sold out. .... Hm, that meant Gerudo Town probably would be too, then.

It was enough.

I warped to Kakariko.

I wanted that ORB....

Walking straight up to it and attempting to grab it didn’t work.

I couldn’t talk either Impa or Paya into giving it to me.

The floor—

These Kakariko houses....

I took careful regard of the exact position of the orb and then.... went outside. The actual ground around Impa’s house was sparser than most, as the structure was nestled in the midst of the waterfall. But in short order I was able to find a foothold big enough to grant me access to the crawlspace under the house. I crouched down, threading my way between the thick support beams.... The orb should have been right about.... there?

I considered the shape of the house, could imagine the steps from the doorway to where Impa sat, envisioned the orb just to the left there.

But the boards under the house all looked the same; nothing hinted at any kind of structural weakness.

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

I toggled over to the cubic Bombs in my Slate.

Besides, why would they even have this crawlspace if not for something like this?

I planted the explosive right about where I thought the orb should be, four feet above on its little platform.

“This is your plan?” said David.

I backed up to a safe distance and hit the button, and Ja Baij’s party favor blew out with an electrical sizzling bang in a wide blue radius. I was pretty sure I heard some exclamations of shock from up through the floorboards—

But as the lingering haze cleared away and I moved back in.... I could see that the boards remained undamaged.

Guessed I wasn’t gonna get it that way.

I tried talking to Paya some more. I tried every species of being sneaky and avoiding detection to get close and just take it.... but it never worked.

I found that I could Stasis the thing. But my sword wouldn’t move it.

So I tried planting another Bomb under the house, then Stasising the orb, then blowing the Bomb....

No effect.

....

I was sure scaring these two poor ladies, though.

I tried talking to all the people I could; maybe someone had some information I was lacking. I tried taking pictographs of both the pedestal and the ball; maybe Impa or Paya could add two and two together with a visual aid—

That THUMBNAIL I saw....

The last shrine MUST be at the Eldin Great Skeleton....

These must be the last two shrines.

But how do I get them?

I warped to the Volcano.

Killed some monsters.

Wandered around....

Back at the Great Skeleton I tried the Meteor Rod in the eye socket this time. The fiery globules bounced around insanely for a while like pinballs before burning themselves out.

But.... nothing.

I did get two pieces of Dinraal in the meantime, though.

I’d thought for sure this place looked like that thumbnail.... the wan glare of the grass and the earth, the land falling away in the background, with only the chasm and the distant northlands beyond....

How do I get those shrines....?

Back to Kakariko.

Impa as it turned out was not frightened in the least by my Dark Series outfit.

Nor was Paya.

But Cado was—he drew his blade!

Good old Cado....

How do I get those bloody shrines....

....

There was a book in Impa’s house: the Journal of Various Worries.

Huh.

One of the entries mentioned Pikango, I think, and that he sought the fairy fountain. But that that was “near where the village’s guardian spirit resides”? Or some such words?

I thought the spirit was Cotera....?

And then this was followed by the line “We must not allow the newcomer [Pikango] to know the location of the fountain! Or of the two shrines nearby.”

Two shrines!

I KNEW IT.

I ran outside, but.... no Pikango. Checked the woods, but he wasn’t there either. At least, not around the pedestal of the undiscovered shrine.

Could Pikango tell me something useful the next time he appeared in the village?

Hmm.

I paraglided back down into the village proper, and headed back to Impa’s. Were there any other books around that I hadn’t read yet?

Nothing else of any great import in the main entry hall that I could see.

But maybe....

I padded up the unobtrusive wooden staircase behind where Impa sat, and—

Ah-ha! Paya had a journal!

....

But.... she was there, in the room, in the way of me reading it—my gosh I am nosy.

Well I suppose it was her bedroom after all.

See Paya had been the one to write the very last entry in the Journal of Worries. Something about the heirloom.... that ball....

When can I have it....

I am so tired. I might just go to bed.

Oops I stayed up and watched three more episodes of Parasyte instead.

What am I doing my cough isn’t even fully gone away yet....

2:16 am.

GOOD NIGHT, NEVERLAAAAAND!

*whump*

 

More Loose Ends

Evening of Sunday, April 14, 2019

More Loose Ends

I was in my Hateno House.

....

I didn’t even remember what I was doing.

So I decided to wrap up the sidequests.

First.... Kula’s Ice Rod. That Korok who was like another Nebb. He wanted to see an Ice Rod....

I searched Hebra, and had no luck, just a lot of Blizzrobes. Wrong rod. I searched the Gerudo Highlands, and found another Blizzrobe.... no good.... but then—!! There was an Ice Wizzrobe! That one had what I needed!

I killed it, and took its Ice Rod. I also tried for the swooping Farosh, but he took off before I could shoot him.

Well, if I’d chased two rabbits, both would’ve escaped.

I got what I came for.

I warped to see Kula in the Korok Forest, and showed him the Ice Rod.

He gave me a hundred rupees.

Cool.

Next.... Dugby’s Stick. Dugby that little Goron kid who was always hanging out in the hot springs near the Bridge of Eldin. He’d hidden something, probably a weapon, somewhere near there. And he said I could keep it if I found it....

I warped to the shrine near the Bridge of Eldin and started poking around.... hahhh, as I’d poked around many times before. Where was this thing? Dugby said it was between the hot springs and the Bridge of Eldin, but I’d never yet been able to find any hidden special “schticks”!

I just kept my eyes peeled for butterflies in the meanwhile.

At length I got up on top of that stretch that overhangs the railtrack, and wandered back to the far side of it, and—

ROOOOOCKS?

They were hidden around the back of a big upjutting protrusion of the red volcanic stone. A big grey clump of what was decidedly the explodable variety!

How long had these been here?

I blew it up.

In the hollow behind lay a Drillshaft. Heh, hadn’t seen one of those in a while. I took it back to Dugby.

He was amazed. Yeah he thought he’d heard a loud noise, he said.... XD

Well, I found it, so he’d let me keep it.

Cool.

I’d also found three Smotherwing Butterflies while I was there. That was enough for the Flamebreaker Armor, plus one for to keep in my pocket. Who was the closest Fairy?

Mija.

I warped.

Oh, but I needed Hinox guts for the Flamebreaker Armor as well, and.... I was short one. Dang.

But I could upgrade either the Soldier’s Armor or the Barbarian Armor. I’d run out of Naydra Horn if I did the Barbarian, BUT.... I did have enough Lynel Guts for it. Finally.

But which to choose....

Naydra Horn....

....

I chose the Soldier’s Armor. Got it up to 84 Defense! Sweet.

Next.... Shrines.

I just went to Kakariko. Checked those woods. That pedestal. Back up on the hill in Cotera’s Forest. There MUST be a shrine there. And there MUST be a Shrine at the Eldin Great Skeleton.... but how....?

I chased Naydra’s tail as I climbed further up into the mountains, but.... he gone.

Went back to the village.

Visited Impa. Didn’t save.

Reload.

One more memory, and that’s in the castle.

Ain’t got time for that, bro.

Pepp’s and bed.

GOOD NIGHT.

Definitely Not Girl Stuff

Waking of Thursday, November 22, 2018

Definitely Not Girl Stuff

I considered, at the shindig at Ben’s house. I was too far behind with logging, but.... what the hey. I brought Mary home for a visit, and we played Zelda anyway. By which I mean I played Zelda, and Mary watched. She enjoys it—she asked for it. I assume because it’s the next best thing when I don’t let anybody touch my consoles!

Besides, I had been holding off on something fairly large in the game, and I figured this would be a good opportunity to do it. I dared say it would be entertaining enough, even for someone just watching.

It was when I watched David do it.

After picking up just a few more Koroks in the Hebra region, I warped to the Muwo Jeem Shrine on the tall cliff overlooking the sea, and paraglided to a lonely little island I’d seen more than a few times. Just a speck of rock, really, made visible only by the brilliantly glowing orange shrine that took up most of its surface....

I’d seen it there many times. Don’t know why I’d never gone for it. Maybe because I hadn’t gotten the Faron map yet, and I wanted to wait. Maybe because it was too far out of the way. Maybe because it was just a waypoint to that bigger island out there, paying a visit to which would become almost obligatory, if you were already out that far.... But I’d already seen that place, through David.

Maybe it was because I’d seen that bigger island.... and I knew what a hassle it would be....

On the tiny island, Tenoko Island, we found the Chaas Qeta Shrine, which turned out to hold a Major Test of Strength. I beat this all right, and was rewarded with.... THE CLIMBING SHIRT!!!! SWEET! 8D

HA! And here I thought I’d surely find it on some mountain!

It looked cool! Ropes and straps everywhere with dangling carabiners swinging when I turned.... X-)

I had the set now! ^_^

Upon exiting the shrine, I chucked my Dragonbone Boko Club out to sea, blew up the resident palm tree, and collected from its remains a Korok Leaf. Because of course it would drop a Korok Leaf.... as there was a raft to use right there! Convenient.

Dealing with only a few Octoroks along the way, we sailed out to the big island. I knew the name of it before it loomed across the screen:

EVENTIDE ISLAND

And the moment my feet touched the shore.... those low, heralding bells sounded.... along with the echoing drone of the monk’s summons.

As well as.... some inane, irreverent commentary from Mary, which jarred the moment and I didn’t like it, but.... I didn’t shush her. I’d brought her over so she could enjoy this and well.... THEM’S THE FRIGGIN’ HAZARDS. :p

To you who has traveled to this island...

I present you with a challenge. In your

travels, you’ve relied on the equipment

you’ve found along the way.

Here, you must cast this equipment

aside and face this trial with only your

wits and whatever you can scavenge.

And after a brief blackout of the screen, I stood naked and barefoot on the beach, with no weapon or shield. Just an empty bandolier and the Sheikah Slate still resting against my sleek blue undershorts.

Offer up the orbs to the three altars on

this island. Only then will I acknowledge

your skill and return your items.

And the Shrine Quest title flashed across my screen: Stranded on Eventide, and I was free to move again.

I checked my inventory. As it had been with David, everything I had was gone. Weapons, shields, bows, clothes, items, monster bits, food....

Everything.

Well, I did at least still have the paraglider, though.

Hoo, and I’d thought things were skinny after freeing the Great Fairy Tera....

It had been more shocking to David and I when we’d both watched him play this part. But I’d been expecting it now. Time to get down to business, I thought....

I combed everything I could from the beach, besting a meager camp of three Red Bokoblins with something like a tree branch.

Thank goodness they were only red ones. The weakest kind. A fair marriage to what humble weapons there were to be found. I still felt somewhat spoiled by how many hearts I had by this time, though. David had done this island on a much shorter life-meter.... and shallower pockets....

I found the first orb at the top of a small treehouse guarded by mostly Red Bokoblins. I was able to snipe the lookouts using a very basic bow I had taken from another Bokoblin, and for the rest of them, well.... for each one I put down, that was another dropped weapon for me to pick up as the ones in my hand shattered. Bats and clubs and spears, all glorified sticks, really, and not very hard-hitting. But they sufficed. There was the occasional sword as well.

I had no protective clothing, but the island provided for if I should take hits—crabs along the beach, a smattering of banana trees in the dense patch of jungle, fish already roasted on spits and swiped from Bokoblin fires.... I was confident I’d be just fine.

With the treehouse cleared I picked up the orb, tiptoed past the snoring Blue Hinox slumbering in the sunny open dell in the middle of the island, and made for the pointy end of Eventide.

Half a stone’s cast from the beach, an outcrop of black rock jutted out of the sea. And on that rock was the first of the pedestals. I had to put the orb in there.

Now DAVID.... had done this in a REALLY AMAZING WAY—he had Magnesed the Woodcutter’s Axe from the stump in the middle of the little bog back in the jungle, taken careful aim, chopped down a palm tree so that its log extended between the beach and the outcrop, and then WALKED ACROSS THIS LOG while carrying the orb.

And THAT.... was friggin’ amazing.

I, on the other hand, I did what we’d later seen PB & Jeff do: threw the orb in the water and lifted it up by Cryonising an ice pillar beneath it. It was still tricky, mind! But nowhere near as hardcore as David’s method had been.

Once I’d placed the orb, it vanished away in a melt of blue light, and the pedestal likewise lit up blue. One down, two to go!

I considered confronting the Hinox next (it wore an orb around its neck), but.... No. I went in search of the other orb first. And I found it perched on a tower in the midst of a much stronger baddie camp, a fair distance up the highest hill on the island.

Night had fallen by the time I’d properly scoped out the place. I tried for a stealth approach, and was able to sneakstrike a few of the Bokoblins, but when that last Black Moblin spotted me, well.... we just had to go at it the old fashioned way.

Fortunately my deep pockets and growing collection of crude spears and clubs saw me through, until the run of the high camp was mine. I collected the orb, whacked the impeding slab off the pedestal with a bit of Stasis, and claimed the second pedestal.

Now all that was left was that Hinox....

And for this I had long planned to emulate what David had done....

The Hinox snored in the low spot between the two highest hills on the island. I’d already dealt with the highest hill, but for this I would need the second highest. And the second highest hill held another baddie camp, this one with Electric Chuchus. David’s encounter with them here on this island had been the first time we’d ever seen them. But even then I’d been able to pass on some words of wisdom from Madman Joseph—don’t attack them directly, because they’ll explode.

That was one spoiler I was glad of at least.

And so I spent a few more of the precious arrows I’d collected to blow up the sparking green Chuchus and subsequently flash-fry most of the remaining enemies. And the second highest hilltop was mine.

This hill was important not only for the third pedestal which rested at its top, but also for its craggly, rocky surface on the side leading toward the Hinox’s dell. For partway down that slope was the perfect shelf from which to play Bomb-Golf....

There were also a few large boulders at the crest, and I pushed these off as well as I could toward the slumbering Hinox. At least one of them made contact, and that put a damper on his day all right. He woke up and stood up and found me and started throwing rocks and roaring unintelligible curses I’m sure. And down I scrambled to that one broad stone, just out of reach of the Hinox’s projectiles and just big enough for me and a Deku Leaf....

I must say, Mary was most unimpressed with this pansy approach, and I don’t blame her. But once I’d set up camp I doggedly planted Bomb after Bomb at my feet, whiffing them off into the blue with the Deku Leaf’s gusts of air, and detonating them as they landed in the Hinox’s vicinity. It took a loooong time, but eventually the Hinox succumbed to its inevitable death by a thousand small explosions.

I paraglided down, collected all the leftover bits, and picked up the third and final orb. This I marched back up to the top of that second highest hill, and planted in the final pedestal. And at once across the way, on the tallest grassy top of the highest hill, the Korgu Chideh Shrine came rrrumbling up out of the earth.

The monk spoke again.

You’ve done well to complete the trial.

I will now return your things, as

I promised.

And a brief blackout, and I had all my clothes and gear on again.

Huhh, I’d become.... rather fond of the wild boy look. :c

Though I guessed I could adopt it any time I wanted to.... the climate allowing....

Come, enter the shrine.

It was a Blessing.

*

That romping shrine quest was just enough, and shortly after we’d finished I took Mary back home.

When I got back, I booted up the game again and, feeling aimless like I do, I found myself simply enjoying the day up on top of the highest hill of Eventide. The spot, close to sea level as it was, had that high cold music. That prayerflag song. Huh....

!

I stiffened as I realized that someone was sitting just a bit down the hill from where I was.

A Rito.

The feathers looked dark, though that may simply have been an effect of the sun setting in the sky beyond.

I approached him.

His name was Mimo. Oh hey his sidelocks looked.... like Link’s did when he wore the Wingaling Hat.... all bound up with that anchor-shaped weight on the end.... Was the Wingaling Hat a Rito item then?

Mimo spoke to me about flying, and, wouldn’t you know it, he ran a certain little minigame....

And I spent the next half hour or so throwing rupees at this Mimo in exchange for the pleasure of jumping off the hilltop to navigate through a series of floating hoops Mimo had placed all over the airspace. Aided by a few updrafts that hadn’t been there before, I was able to rack up a higher and higher hoop-count until Mimo acknowledged my mastery of the air and rewarded me back with a hefty sum of rupees of my own. It was much fun! XD

When I’d had enough of the flying course, I went back to Hebra, Koroked a little more and then.... put it to bed.

Bane of Grace

Waking of Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Bane of Grace

DRATBLAST IT I’M GONNA PLAY IT DAVID GET OUT HERE.

He did.

I played.

For an uncounted time I bid farewell to Piaffe the stablehand in Gerudo Canyon, and from there warped to the Sho Dantu Shrine in Satan Canyon—er, Karusa Valley. There had been no Blood Moon; the Yiga did not reappear. Even so, I moved cautiously....

The door to their lair was open.

I stepped inside.

I do not know what I was expecting—When I had stopped outside the open door before, I had seen the yellow-beige of some back walls, the flicker of torchlight, a kind of box or platform.... cover to hide behind?

But no, it was more than just a box—more like a pedestal, or an altar. There were stairs hewn into it, and a Duplex Bow rested on top.

Hm.

Encompassing braziers flickered like the entrance to the Shadow Temple. This room seemed too grand for the likes of a tribe of betrayers and assassins.... I daresay it was taller than it was wide. It was perfectly circular, and at symmetrical intervals around its edge there were towering statues of the Seven Heroines—No, were there eight? It was all octagonally symmetrical....

Their faces were covered with the grotesque inversion of the Sheikah Eye.

I nocked an arrow, passed the tip through a lit brazier, and tried to burn down their face-coverings, but they wouldn’t come down.

The Yiga didn’t make this place. It must have been something else, once.

So I guessed the grandeur had simply been hijacked.

DANG I wished I could read Gerudo! There was carved script everywhere....

Between the Heroines, on every side except where I had come in, were seven short staircases leading up to the walls—Ah, except for there, on my left; that one led to a small cavity of some kind.

There were a few barrels in it, just storage.

I looted it.

I walked up a few of the other staircases until a flickering glimpse at one wall’s base made me pause: there was a gap along the floor there! If I stood lower down the staircase.... I could see through it. Were those more storage boxes? Treasure chests?

I tried a Bomb before David reminded me of all the braziers in the room. There was a spare torch as well. I grabbed it.

They weren’t walls between the Heroines, they were hangings. I burned them one by one, revealing hollow after hollow, flushing out squeaking keese and breaking into barrels and cracking the occasional treasure chest—until one of them opened onto something greater....

But I finished my round of the room first; I am nothing if not thorough.

The staircase second from the right did not end in a store-hole, but continued upward in a narrow passage before veering off at a right angle, away behind tall stone walls. Maybe it was the lack of torchlight, but the stone there seemed colder, more weathered and cracked, dinged with dust and a chill.

I followed it—carefully. The feeling in the circular Heroines’ Hall had merely been one of staying on my toes, but this passageway.... there was a dread here that wakefully sought for things to devour.

I moved slowly until the tall and narrow passageway leveled and came to an opening. I glanced left and right but could see no enemies—I could see, however, straight across the small, dark space, a rough cell carved into the opposite wall, portcullised with thick wooden beams. And behind those beams, on the floor, sat.... a Gerudo!

I donned my Stealth Suit and crept slowly toward her. “Are you Pokki?” I whispered. But her name was Barta. I’d known there were two Gerudo missing, but I couldn’t remember the other name....

Barta told me to get out of here. She said if I were caught they’d call their friends. I couldn’t take them all. It was dangerous.

I glanced to my left at the tall, broad-shouldred Yiga patrolling a section of hallway in a lower level. Those stairs to my right must have led down and around under the stone floor to where he was....

I stayed low and looked to Barta again.

But she only hissed, “Why haven’t you escaped yet??”

When I pressed her again she only repeated her insistence that I escape, and went on to say that she hadn’t seen the Yiga do anything but patrol around and eat bananas.

....Huh.

There didn’t seem to be anything I could do to help Barta just then.

And there was only one way to go....

I watched for the Yiga guard’s torchlight, and waited for him to come around and make another pass—he seemed to be on a circuit.... clockwise.... Out from the left around the far corner, forward toward me, always sweeping his torch this way and that, inspecting every crack and crevice.... and then left again, around the near corner, and out of sight.

Sometimes it took him longer to reappear.

Hoooo....

After a few times of this, knowing there was nothing for it, when his back was to me again, terrified in my Stealth Suit I stepped off the edge of the cell-level and paraglided down after him and—was that really just a big fat pillar he was lapping around? I hadn’t been able to see the entire thick structure of it from where I had crouched with Barta—

Never mind—I grabbed onto it from the air and, sparing no stamina, hoisted myself twenty feet to its top in a trembling trice where I crouched, undetected.... and could study my new surroundings.

The passageway continued to broaden, and descended further still, in yet a lower level. Another big Yiga stood sentry almost right between the posts of the only door I could see out of that area. Unmoving. Masked face alert.

Great. How was I supposed to get past him?

Hmmm.

I took out a bomb and chucked it over the edge of the pillar.

“Wut.... are you—” David stuttered out.

The bomb didn’t clear the small railing between the two guarded areas, only gently bumped against it and remained in the pillar-section.

The patrolling Yiga guard came around again.

He gave an audible.... offputtingly human-sounding start, when he caught sight of the bomb.... and then slowly, slowly advanced to inspect the glowing blue orb.... the World’s Most Interesting Bomb....

And how interesting, for I had listened to that very soundtrack just that morning—first thing that morning—for the first time in.... well ever. Very nice.

I had not heard the music for years and years and YEARS and years and YEARS but.... I’d just out of the blue been so hungry for that epic, sweeping 12/8 track that made you feel like you were flying....

I never did get very far playing MDK. Ben had borrowed it from a friend. I didn’t get to watch him play much of it either, though I think I saw him battle the endboss, high in that office tower.... those binoculars....

I just remember playing the credits video over and over again, just to listen to that sweet 12/8 midi orchestra.... so powerful, so beautiful.... wandering in so many striking modulations what the heck was that some kind of old-timey autopsy—??

Of course, I did get to see Ben employ the World’s Most Interesting Bomb. And we all agreed: that was the awesomest, most hilarious, coolest weapon ever.

BEST.                                    

WEAPON.

                                    EVER.

EVER.

Perched on my pillar in the Yiga Nest, I was beginning to feel more confident as the big guard stopped and leaned down close beside my bomb....

I blew it up in his face.

That put him on his back sure enough, but he hopped up straight away and—whistled.

I tried to duck down low and keep out of sight, but—that glow.

That orange glow as the air swirls before they poof in out of nowhere right beside you—maybe the other guard had seen me, too—

Red-clad fiends started appearing from everywhere—on my level on the pillartop no less. There were too many of them, I got a few hits in, I took a few hits, kept swinging, saw my hearts drop but I was all right, I could stand—

And—

....

They.... they killed me?

The screen began to darken.

But my hearts!

The music began to droop.

And.... I had so many fairies in my pockets! And—

The text showed on the screen, large and red:

GAME OVER

And—

But—

. . . . . . . —

Where was Lady Mipha?

Two options were presented to me: Continue.... or Quit.

It must have been like the Gerudo’s Hideout in Ocarina of Time, I thought.

Everything was too present. I clicked Continue.

One too many hits and you’re automatically down, no matter how many hearts you have....

I should’ve quit. I should have. But I didn’t.

I didn’t know....

Fooling Myself

Waking of a Saturday, February 3, 2018 ~ 2

Fooling Myself

There were too many people around.

I tried to figure out the password to that place behind the clothing shop again. And who was Pokki? Nobody in town that I could find.... or at the Ice House.

And why wouldn’t that other Gerudo in the bar wake up? I wanted to talk to her....

I went to the Ice House, I went back to town, I went to the Bazaar, and somehow.... found that I could take the heat in my Gerudo clothes now? I thought I couldn’t before.

I couldn’t find out the password.

Mmm not all my clothes were enhanced. A trip to Cotera remedied that.

I didn’t want to do anything important with all these people around.... and so decided.... to just look for Mister Hestu.

I rode Memory from Dueling Peaks to Faron Woods, and walked him cautiously in among the trees.... But after a while of encountering a few too many Bokoblins and other nasties, I rode him back to the Highland Stable to board him—No more endangering the horses.

After that I warped back to that shrine in the woods I had unlocked so long ago—the one near which I’d saved Tye and Sorelia in the shallow, dappled water—it was near to the path—and continued into Faron Woods on foot.

I wandered around and onward, meeting a few other travelers, some of whom claimed to hail from a nearby village. And I was sorely, SORELY tempted by the prospect of discovering a new, friendly habitation, but.... Hestu.

And I could see on my map—there was something about this forest that had piqued my curiosity every time I looked upon it: the river which twined through it in great looping curves and which ended in (or sprang from; I wasn’t really paying attention to the direction it flowed) a box canyon....

It had always looked like a dragon to me. The long course of it like a serpentine body, and the last distant pool of it shaped like open, toothy jaws. Perhaps more akin to a typical charicature of a venus fly trap than anything else.... but drawn there in the geography and hinted at all the same.

I had often imagined myself traveling into this forest, wondering what I might find at the dragon’s maw. But now that I was here, my intentions of being so straightforward began to melt away, and I was longing to maintain a stealthy distance from the road as is so my wont.

The deciduous trees gave way to palm trees, tall and thick, and a racket of birds and bugs began to fill the air. This was the jungle I had always seen from the Talus’ sporting field on the slopes of the southern Dueling Peak.... but never ventured into.

There were a few more Bokoblins; a lady called Meeshy, whose words and wants I didn’t really catch because I was giggling at her name—it’s the name I call the neighborhood cat (an Anglicized variant of the Spanish for “Kitty”) when she comes around and wants something to eat; and—

That accordion!

Kass!

He treated me to a song about a dragon’s mouth, and I was sure of it then—something important had to be at the end of that river.... And I wanted to find it for certain, but.... the road to get there twined among the trees in almost as circuitous a route as that of the river. Great place for an ambush or three....

I was wary of roads.

Leastways those upon which I’d never traveled.

But then again.... what else was new?

Pausing only to solve an INFURIATING Korok Puzzle involving metal balls tethered together by a chain like enormous bolas—infuriating!—I plunged into the foliage to the left and kept well off the track, clinging to the hills on the edge of the giant jungle-bowl instead.

The whole valley seemed to be nestled between the foothills of the Dueling Peaks and an appreciable red mountain of steps and buttes which I had never explored. Or at least, that’s what I had always surmised by the view from Talus Junior’s Field.

I set the high rim to my left and the cascading, sweltery depths to my right, and crept forward, ever cautious. Tropical rain came down in sheets to claps of thunder and lightning, and I quickly found myself having to unequip anything metal. The palm trees rattled in the din. They really were huge, and they grew more and more thickly as I pressed on.

And then of a sudden I emerged from the leaves and was confronted by a level clearing set with a weathered old square of foundation ruins.

It positively stank of Korok to me.

A number of large, flat paving blocks made up a hollow square shape on the ground, with grass and foliage filling its wide center. On three of the cornerstones of this formation sat three very large stone boulders. Where was the fourth....?

And at each corner of the grassy central space, a huge pillar towered out of the earth. Three of these were empty, but atop one of them—SOMEHOW—was the fourth boulder.

Oh boy....

Stasis and arrows didn’t make it budge. And I didn’t want to spend any specialty arrows.... Or maybe I just didn’t have any left after that last Lynel encounter. I would need something more powerful....

I didn’t want to throw any of my heavier weapons and damage them in the process. A Bomb would do, but.... I couldn’t throw them so high. Mm, but I could drop them....

I set myself to climbing the pillar in the rain, slipping again and again, but forcing myself onward. This course was made even more difficult by the fact that the boulder was so huge and the column just thin enough that there would be no place to stand until I had scaled the boulder itself, crawling up around to its top like a spider!

It took a few tries, but I made it, standing at last in sodden triumph at the top. The view from up high was nice, even in the rain. I could see over some of the trees and deeper into the valley....

But now for this boulder.

What I did next also took a few tries, to get the timing right. But fortunately Ja Baij is a gernerous chap, and I had an infinite number of Bombs to play with.

I Stasised the giant boulder beneath my feet, took out a Bomb, rolled it over the edge, and detonated it while it was close enough to exert some force upon the boulder, but far enough away that it wouldn’t blow me up!

And when the Stasis let go.... over the boulder keeled and finally fell to the ground (I paraglided down after it) where I could manage it with a bit more ease.

Ha, yeah—ease. Surely. The thing was still huge.

I tried pushing it toward the empty cornerstone. No good; it was too big. So I tried Stasis and another Bomb. Not enough force. Stasis and two more Bombs.... got it on the square!

And the Korok appeared!

YES! ^_^

That had to be the heaviest Korok I’d ever chased up. Epic.

There was something supremely satisfying about that one.

Really made you work for it.

Ja Baij Triumphant

Waking of Friday, October 13, 2017 ~ 3

Ja Baij Triumphant

But of course, I was repulsed from making contact with my Sheikah Slate.

Unholy dark clouds swirled up around the main control unit, the evil energy condensing into a swirling blue light that was.... much too pretty for what it portended....

I momentarily wondered if I might even see Daruk instead. That light.... so fair....

But a few heartbeats later, the light coalesced into a massive sword, no a right sword-arm, the hulking limb clamped upon by some titanic hilt, from which gleamed a blade of Ancient make, twenty foot long at least—into a cruel left hand on an arm more lithe, palm curled upwards with vicious nails and malicious magenta flesh—into the bottom of the torso, the terrible drippy body, lost like hanging guts, uneven, non-corporeal, irrelevant—and into the head—into massive, massive armor in a wreck of towering dominance, wild horns jutting strangely and bloodred mane split into two matted flags waving—

Some of this I only remember from later glancing at the pictograph I took.

I think I was too close.

But I’m not going back to take another.

Fireblight Ganon was much beefier than Waterblight Ganon had been.

Ugh.

Fortunately, I still had a million ice arrows.

What a serendipitous elemental affinity.

Daruk’s voice encouraged me as I pelted him with arrow after arrow, as I dodged his blade and played ring-around-the-rosie about the main control unit, as I felled him and ran in swinging with the biggest stick I had on me—a Royal Claymore or something, some two-handed longsword with a sharp point and golden embellishments....

I don’t think I sliced him up too much between arrowings, though. I tried one time but.... so close, so dangerous....

And when Fireblight Ganon’s life meter was half-emptied.... he upped his game.

With a terrible roar no living thing could emulate, the monster flexed and flared, fire engulfing its person. The Ancient Blade turned a hot, bright orange. The thing took a place in the air, and began charging up what I could tell would be a devastating attack.

I took cover behind one of the many struts supporting the spiky frill on the Divine Beast’s back. The fiery charge raised in pitch, in intensity, until I heard the monster release it, and the air around me was instantly BLASTED outward, ignited, from where Fireblight Ganon hovered.

But I was safe. That was good cover.

I was confident.

In fact, I was still running on just the half remaining hearts I had left after climbing the volcano.

....

Sweet.

I peeked around and shot a few more Ice Arrows at him, but he soon found a new spot to occupy and charge up a new attack.

I had to move and duck down again.

I glanced at his life-meter. Was I doing any damage?

I stepped out once more and watched carefully as I pelted him again: the Ice Arrows seemed to impact on the encircling sphere of flame; they never made contact with the body beneath. And the life-meter didn’t go down.

My Ice Arrows were now ineffective.

Great, how was I going to hit him? I thought. Projectiles couldn’t penetrate the fireshield; did I need to get up close and personal with a melee weapon?

I looked at Fireblight Ganon again. He was charging up another fireball to cast at me.

And I looked at him.

Arms straining, claw hand trembling, muscles working.... he was gathering in a lot of energy for this....

And I saw—pulling it in.

Sucking it in.

Like those Rock Octoroks....

And a suspicion I’d had of the four Divine Beasts blossomed into further realization.

Four Divine Beasts.

Four Plateau Shrines.

Four Slate Functions.

Each of these four beasts must have something to do with each of my four Slate functions....

Water with Water for Zoras—Cryonis—that one was obvious.

Magnesis and Stasis, those could go either way with the Gerudo and the Rito—

But Bombs?

Bombs were always and forever a Goron device.

And the Gorons were dealing with Vah Rudania.

Vah Rudania had to be dealt with with bombs.

Hadn’t the land of Eldin prepared me for such? Cannons activated by bombs, railcars activated by bombs....

And pulling, sucking Rock Octoroks, defeated by Bombs.

All of this flashed through my mind in the span of a heartbeat or two. Or maybe more—I’m not sure; my heart could have been going pretty fast.

Fireblight Ganon seared with raging heat as he completed his charge and let loose another exploding firebomb—I ducked where the blast couldn’t reach me.

But when he next stopped in the air to charge another attack, I called upon Ja Baij.

In my hour of need, I called upon the aid of the Sheikah Monk Ja Baij!

And Ja Baij delivered.

The round Bomb I hurled toward the demon menace was swirled up in the sucking whirlwind, spinning closer and closer—past the fireshield!—and I detonated.

I don’t remember if I could see the blue of the explosion. But I knew the monster felt it.

He tumbled out of the air and crashed upon the deck of Vah Rudania’s back, stunned and dazed! And in I ran!

I was so far away, but in I ran, swinging and slicing!

Too far away indeed—I didn’t get but a few hits in on him. But I got the pattern down, and there was no safety for him then.

I repeated the attack a few times as Daruk’s voice cheered me on—“Lay it on him, little guy!”

And I did.

And Fireblight Ganon screamed a high keening as it died.... high, high, wailing, shrieking like an over-boiling teapot.... terrible thing....

Hylian Charbroil

Waking of Friday, October 13, 2017

Hylian Charbroil

You know, Goron City can be confusing. Absolutely bewildering down on the ground, where the geology is all the same color, all jutting up in a million variations of the same craggy shapes.

It took me a while before I gave up on my HUD and just consulted my full map. And even then.... I took the cheap way out and simply warped to the shrine near Eldin Bridge.

When I hiked up the hill I found Yunobo cowering beneath Daruk’s Protection; two Black Moblins were harassing him.

Well! I had just the mask for that! C:

I donned the Moblin Mask and dashed up the trail. The Moblins turned at my approach and eyed me suspiciously....

I hadn’t quite thought through what exactly I intended to do. Sure enough I was able to get close. Very close. Right up next to them. Which gave me the element of surprise. But there were two of them. And surely they wouldn’t take kindly to any suddenly violent turns on my part. Hmm.

In the end I just did the best I could—I Stasised one of them, and just started walloping away, fortuitously landing the same blows on his fellow as well. They both went down but there would be no more taking them off guard after that.

Moblins can hit. @_@

When I had dispatched them both, the camera swiveled back to center on the trembling Yunobo, and I suddenly hoped that I wouldn’t be forced to move through an otherwise epic and momentous cinematic while wearing.... a Moblin Mask.

But Yunobo only stood up to look around and see that he had been saved, and the game released me to approach and address him on my own.

PHEWF. ouo;

There was a cannon nearby, like the ones at the North Mine. But when I rolled a bomb into it and tried to fire, nothing happened. Huh....

So I turned to speak to Yunobo. He thanked me for my help, and asked where Big Boss Bludo was.

“He’s not coming,” I said.

“What?”

I explained to him about the painkillers not having any effect, and Yunobo looked downcast and fretted about what they were going to doooo.... Yunobo had Daruk’s Protection, and it was the only way to drive Vah Rudania up into the volcano, but Bludo had to work the cannon....

“I’ll do it!” I said.

Yunobo was shocked. He impressed upon me how dangerous this was. Especially for a Hylian.

But with that wonderfully unscripted series of animated mouth movements and gesticulations that Zelda games have become SO fond of lately.... I explained to him I assume that I actually did need to get inside that Divine Beast.

That seemed to lend him a little courage. Heh, for a Goron he just seems so.... youthfully tender.

Yunobo told me that Eldin Bridge was kept raised to bar Vah Rudania from coming down and across from the upper cone. Actually I wondered whether the Divine Beast would even need the bridge.

Likewise, with the bridge in such a position, we wouldn’t be able to cross further upward. But Yunobo said I could knock the bridge into its lowered position by firing him at it with the cannon.

And he hopped in.

:I

So I rolled in a bomb, took aim and blew it up.

You ever launch someone into the sky in a rolling fiery arc?

I’d thought it might be a trick shot, an angle somewhere between set firing directions, and so almost shot him off too early! But he just barely nicked the upper corner of the raised bridge.... and brought it swinging down.

He landed back nearby on the rebound, a little unsteady and with stars dancing around his head. We could go into the mountain now, he said.

I had wondered if it would be anything like it had been with Prince Sidon—hard and fast and in a desperate rush!

But Yunobo was saying—what—we just—

....

On foot??

I’d wondered if perhaps we would have to do cannon acrobatics together but WHAT we just—the bridge is down and then—what, just—over we go? Onto the mountain? WHERE THE GIANT FRIGGIN’ LIZARD IS?

I dunno there was just something off-putting about climbing up after it, into its territory, on our own measly feet.

But that seemed to be the only option. Yunobo followed after me as I moved. Heh, I like it when the NPCs do that. ^_^

He was a bit slower than I....

Near the far end of the bridge we were thrust into a cinematic—Vah Rudania spotted us. The four large circular vents on its back dilated, and a host of smaller, buzzing, propellered things came swarming out.

Oh great, I thought, Those things are gonna come after us and I’m gonna have to shoot them, how many arrows do I have—

Yunobo lamented this new development as well. Evidently Vah Rudania did this whenever he and Boss Bludo came close. If those sentries spotted us the Divine Beast would go into a rage and cause the volcano to erupt; landslides of fiery boulders would come raining down. Bludo could just smash those boulders to bits with his fists.... But he wasn’t here....

I would lead and Yunobo would follow me, but with those sentries in the air.... he proposed we should decide on a signal for when we should move and when we should stop.

My options to respond were

A wink!

A whistle!

Mind powers!

XD

I suggested a whistle, and Yunobo said that was a good idea, even though it was a little like calling a horse....

The cinematic released me and, still fearing those sentries, I ran for cover like a self-respecting coward. But nothing came after us.

So I tested the whistle. It came out different! A short drill of three quick peeps brought Yunobo snapping to a rigid standstill with a “Hup!”

I moved away a short distance and whistled again. It was longer with a rolling pitch this time.

“Coming!” Yunobo called, and ran to where I was, stopping beside me with a triumphant “Ha-ha!” as if we’d just outwitted something.

Heh, that was for when we’d have cleverly gotten past something I guessed. His dulcet tenor voice is so tender....! XD

The whistle alternated between these two patterns, and when in earshot Yunobo was strict to heed it.... but I wished he’d had a slightly quicker reaction time....

We started out tentatively enough, but it seemed the sentries were not actively seeking us out, and so after a short time I had us plunging up the hill and into the crags.

Well.... plunging as fast as Yunobo could go, anyway. He would always catch up to me panting, and even gasped once, “Wait up!”

Poor guy.

The sentries shone bright red searchlights directly below where they hovered or patrolled. They seemed simple enough to slip past at first—though I did have to work on Yunobo’s timing! Under one of the first sentries, before we could reach the shelter of an overhang—before Yunobo could reach the shelter of the overhang—the beam caught him and—

Some buzzing alarm.

“This is bad!” Yunobo cried.

And Vah Rudania hammered the mountain with its enormous club of a tail, sending red-hot rocks cascading down in a thick and terrible rain of crushing DEATH.

They didn’t seem to reach us beneath the overhang, though, where I crouched down and Yunobo shivered beneath Daruk’s Protection.

But much of the rest of the mountain was not quite so forgiving.

The sentries were tricky! The beam of one stationary one I had to block with a large metal plate propped between two rocks. Clever. Others I discovered could be destroyed by casting bombs into nearby updrafts, and detonating when they reached the sentries’ level. Cleverer!

I had Yunobo stay put when I saw more Moblins in the distance, and put my mask on to go and have it out with them.

Turned out they were guarding another cannon! Yunobo hopped in, and I tried launching him at one of the sentries....

I’d say he overshot it by at least a quarter mile.

But he came bounding back and uncurled from his rolling posture, and told me to watch where I was aiming.

I guessed the sentries couldn’t be dealt with that way.

And I guessed.... it was to be a shot at the Divine Beast then—we did seem to be following it counter-clockwise up the cone. I aimed the cannon and fired, Yunobo struck true, and Vah Rudania groared and clambered further on, Yunobo rebounding back a moment later with more stars around his head. He was pretty pumped at our progress!

There were two more cannons, each guarded by two Black Moblins. We jogged our way upward and onward, skirting the sentries we could manage. Whistle. “Right!” Whistle. “Hup!” Whistle. “Coming!”

And other such noises he made.

.... “Wait up!”

Heh, there was even a little icon for Yunobo on my HUD map.

It even had his same fretting little face! XD

But it was deucedly difficult getting him past the last cluster of sentries before the third cannon. That one sentry going round in circles.... the one I couldn’t bring down with any air-drafted bombs....

Alarm.

“Oh no!”

Red-hot boulders.

Alarm.

“It saw us!”

More rib-shattering chunks of flaming rock.

Alarm.

“This is bad!”

Just bury me in the molten rubble rolling on the ground getting my SKIN seared off, no cover from this unrelenting, cacophonous—

It would have been helpful if Yunobo had run ahead to duck and cover, but he kept running back to that little outcrop. And I.... just did the best I could staying close to the cliff walls, trying to let the rocks bounce over me.

Isn’t that what they teach you for hiking?

I tried hunkering down near Yunobo once.

I was BOWLED RIGHT OFF THE MOUNTAIN. The cascade of hot earth blew me cartwheeling through the open air, down, down, high over the endless dark spires like the reaching pits of hades. It took me a moment to recover enough to deploy my paraglider—and turn myself back toward the mountain’s face where I clung like a bedraggled spider.

It was a bit of a climb to reach Yunobo again—thank goodness I had the stamina. But my hearts couldn’t take much more of this. I’d lost Mipha’s extras plus about half my normal red ones climbing this blasted volcano.

In the end.... I forgot the whistle, and just had him follow close after me as I timed a winding path beneath that infernal circling sentry.

And we made it to the last cannon.

Two dead Moblins later, I fired Yunobo at the Divine Beast again, and it seemed that Vah Rudania had had enough. It clambered over the jagged, oozing lip of the cone, pushed itself over the edge to fall into the crater, and—

THE VOLCANO ERUPTED.

With a tremendous rumble, a titanic spray of hot lava ejected out of the caldera.

But it didn’t hit us. And nothing more terrible happened after that.

The Divine Beast had only finally settled down into the very heart of Death Mountain, lizard legs splayed as at rest . . . . or recalculation . . . .

“That was so cool!” Yunobo crowed as we crested the top in cinematic, “You really put a licking on that thing!”

Oh I just love this kid. XD

I don’t remember much else of his parting words. I just remember his voice still so slight and tender, so hopeful as he bade me good luck in finishing the job, as I leapt off the lip after the beast, paragliding down, down, down into the core of fire, and Yunobo still stood there above, back meekly hunched and clasping his low hands before him like he does, blue neckerchief ruffling in the surging, embered heat....