More Loose Ends

Evening of Sunday, April 14, 2019

More Loose Ends

I was in my Hateno House.

....

I didn’t even remember what I was doing.

So I decided to wrap up the sidequests.

First.... Kula’s Ice Rod. That Korok who was like another Nebb. He wanted to see an Ice Rod....

I searched Hebra, and had no luck, just a lot of Blizzrobes. Wrong rod. I searched the Gerudo Highlands, and found another Blizzrobe.... no good.... but then—!! There was an Ice Wizzrobe! That one had what I needed!

I killed it, and took its Ice Rod. I also tried for the swooping Farosh, but he took off before I could shoot him.

Well, if I’d chased two rabbits, both would’ve escaped.

I got what I came for.

I warped to see Kula in the Korok Forest, and showed him the Ice Rod.

He gave me a hundred rupees.

Cool.

Next.... Dugby’s Stick. Dugby that little Goron kid who was always hanging out in the hot springs near the Bridge of Eldin. He’d hidden something, probably a weapon, somewhere near there. And he said I could keep it if I found it....

I warped to the shrine near the Bridge of Eldin and started poking around.... hahhh, as I’d poked around many times before. Where was this thing? Dugby said it was between the hot springs and the Bridge of Eldin, but I’d never yet been able to find any hidden special “schticks”!

I just kept my eyes peeled for butterflies in the meanwhile.

At length I got up on top of that stretch that overhangs the railtrack, and wandered back to the far side of it, and—

ROOOOOCKS?

They were hidden around the back of a big upjutting protrusion of the red volcanic stone. A big grey clump of what was decidedly the explodable variety!

How long had these been here?

I blew it up.

In the hollow behind lay a Drillshaft. Heh, hadn’t seen one of those in a while. I took it back to Dugby.

He was amazed. Yeah he thought he’d heard a loud noise, he said.... XD

Well, I found it, so he’d let me keep it.

Cool.

I’d also found three Smotherwing Butterflies while I was there. That was enough for the Flamebreaker Armor, plus one for to keep in my pocket. Who was the closest Fairy?

Mija.

I warped.

Oh, but I needed Hinox guts for the Flamebreaker Armor as well, and.... I was short one. Dang.

But I could upgrade either the Soldier’s Armor or the Barbarian Armor. I’d run out of Naydra Horn if I did the Barbarian, BUT.... I did have enough Lynel Guts for it. Finally.

But which to choose....

Naydra Horn....

....

I chose the Soldier’s Armor. Got it up to 84 Defense! Sweet.

Next.... Shrines.

I just went to Kakariko. Checked those woods. That pedestal. Back up on the hill in Cotera’s Forest. There MUST be a shrine there. And there MUST be a Shrine at the Eldin Great Skeleton.... but how....?

I chased Naydra’s tail as I climbed further up into the mountains, but.... he gone.

Went back to the village.

Visited Impa. Didn’t save.

Reload.

One more memory, and that’s in the castle.

Ain’t got time for that, bro.

Pepp’s and bed.

GOOD NIGHT.

Castle Goods, COD

Waking of Saturday, March 23, 2019 ~ 2

Castle Goods, COD

I looked back at the castle. The current had carried me far to the west. When—

What? There were.... more Luminous stones? There on the more western side of the castle’s back. I could see them glowing in a little clump.

Did that mean another entrance? Another secret passage?

And what was that hole in the wall over there? Was that real? Or a trick of the polygons? For the polygons had tricked me before, over great, unresolved distances....

I considered the distant gleaming, but.... I had just been INSIDE THE CASTLE.

I had just escaped being inside the castle.

Never mind. I was hungry and my body was tired or it should have been.

I would go to Woodland Stable.

....

No, first.... I pulled up my Sheikah Slate, scoped in on the questionable spot, and tested placing a beacon through it.

The ascending light shaft broke through one of the great stone shelves of the castle’s island.

That was a hole in the wall....

What could it be....?

....

Later.

I hoofed it to Woodland and spoke to Kish, asking him to gimme Memory. It seemed appropriate.

Rode Memory to Riverside Stable, just going by sight mostly. Didn’t even stop for the Korok at Thims Bridge. I did stop for Leekah, though. Like I do.... That poor girl....

I got to Riverside eventually, and boarded Memory with Ember. Good lookin’ guy.

Gotter and Parcy were here, but.... it was raining. I couldn’t cook the royal recipes for Gotter. But I could still visit with Parcy in the Stable.

I showed her the Royal Guard’s Sword.

She was amazed.

So amazed in fact that she gave me 300 rupees for the privilege.

Well that was right dandy!

Then she asked if I’d be willing to trade it for a sapphire.

Dude. Do you know where I went to get this?

I declined.

It was late. I decided I may as well sleep off the rain. I could cook in the morning. Hopefully the wok would be lit....

Ember gave me a bed and I had Blood Moon dreams....

Woke up.

Wok’s not lit.

It wasn’t even raining.

I didn’t have time for this.

I SHOT A FIRE ARROW AT IT.

This startled Gotter, who was standing hard by.

I made a fruitcake. Wheat, sugar, one Wildberry and one Hearty Durian.

(It seemed to be a super-food, as indicated by the extra music and Link’s salivatory anticipation animation.)

Hhhh, and I’d only had two wheats.

That’s okay.

I gave it to Gotter.

“Fruit cake said to have been eaten by the Princess of Hyrule! How can I describe this experience?” he mused as he tried it. “A refreshing aroma reminiscent of galloping across these majestic planes on horseback...”

SSSSSIIIIICCCCC. Planes. Lol.

“No, that undersells the dish’s complexity,” he went on, “It fills me with that heart-thumping intensity that seizes your very soul when you’re spotted by a Guardian!”

Oh gosh I hoped not.

“A truly elegant dish! I never thought I would taste something quite so thrilling.”

And then he told me he must express his gratitude.... and he gave me 100 rupees.

Awesome.

Now for the Chancellor’s dish. Monster Cake—

Oh.... but the quest banner flashed across the screen and said Complete.

....

Maybe I’d make it anyway. Or another fruitcake. For me.

I talked to Gotter to see what he had to say.

“Recipes of the Hyrulean royal family... If there are more of them out there, I’d like to try them.”

Okay then!

One Monster Cake, comin’ up.

There went my last wheat, my second to last sugar, one of only a handfull of butter, and one of another handful of monster exract.

Monster cake!

Said to have been a favorite of the minster of Hyrule.

How had I guessed this recipe correctly when I made it on the first try for Hunnie?

“It tastes...beautiful... How can I put it into words?” said Gotter, “It’s like biting into a Chuchu...”

The heck?? XD XD

“No, no, that would be disgusting and dangerous. It stimulates the brain, much like being pummeled by a Hinox!”

Heh, I like this guy’s way with words. XD

“A truly elegant dish! I never thought I would taste something quite so thrilling,” he repeated, and gave me 100 rupees again.

Nice.

And when I spoke to him again....

“I think I’ll continue to practice my cooking on unsuspecting inn patrons like yourself.”

And that was all.

Heh, good luck, Gotter.

....

I’m going to Hateno to hang up these rare weapons.

Took out Knight.... rode, rode.... Man, rescuing people is a hassle. But I can’t not do it....

I finally get near Hateno, and.... fighting the dang silver Bokoblin what was attacking those sisters.... my weapon shattered.

WAIT.

WHAT.

....

“Your Royal Guard’s Sword broke!”?

NO. NOPE. It was still equipped after talking to Parcy. Nope. I am reloading.

Back to Riverside. Give Gotter the second dish over again.

Just warp to Hateno.

Do. And display all the Royal Guard’s Crap in the center of their respective walls. Bow, Sword, and Shield.

9:50 am. Sleep ‘til noon.

G’NIGHT EVERYBODY!

The Weapon Connoisseur

Waking of Sunday, February 24, 2019

The Weapon Connoisseur

I jumped off Kass’ Landing in Rito Village, and sailed for the western shores of Totori Lake. Making my way back to Gisa Crater and its sleeping Talus, I set out to continue my exploration of the western edges of the Tabantha Frontier. I killed the Talus, kept on northward, killed a Lynel—Silver. Gads, why are they all so strong now?—but could not find any shrines anywhere. Where are the shriiiiines....

I might have spoiled myself some days ago; I’ve heard a number on the shrines. I have 117 right now. Not many more to go, I think.

But I still couldn’t find any just now.

After exploring around far and wide, hunting high and low and still coming up empty.... I decided I wanted to try and finish Nebb’s quest instead. That would certainly still throw me for a world tour; I could still keep my eyes open for shrines.... just passively rather than actively.

I checked my quest log to see what weapon Nebb wanted to see next....

Where the heck could I find an Ancient Battle Axe +?

My Compendium said Hyrule Field and the Akkala Highlands.

Hmm.

So I started checking the shrines around those parts. I found a few with some little Guardian baddies inside, namely KAAM YA’TAK for one.... but none wherein the baddies had that weapon.

So I tried Katah Chuki. A Minor Test of Strength. And to my surprise.... the enemy popped up again! Even though I’d defeated it!

THEY RESURRECT. The Test of Strength Guardians come back.

I wonder if they do that every time you enter, or just on Blood Moons....

Unfortunately Katah Chuki’s Guardian Scout carried only a regular Ancient Battle Axe. And so I decided to bump it up a notch and return to the shrine of Muwo Jeem, way out on the east end—the Modest Test of Strength. My first Modest Test of Strength. The only shrine-fight I had ever run away from....

And this Guardian Scout—IS THAT THE WEAPON I’M LOOKING FOR? I thought madly as I sported with it!

I killed the thing, and.... IT WAS!

An Ancient Battle Axe +!

I took it to Nebb, and let him have a good long look at it, and he gave me a silver rupee! 100 rupees! Man his pockets were deep.

“Grandpa said ‘Give it to the one who shows you how to fight!’” he said happily.

Aww, this kid had such a great grandpa. ^_^

And then.... NEXT, he says.... he wants to see a Frost Spear.

Well that should be easy, I thought, I just saw some guys with that kinda thing over in Hebra when I was wandering around.

And I spent the next very long time bouncing back and forth between Hebra and the Gerudo Highlands looking for a Frostspear. It’s one word. Frostspear.

No.

Luck.

ANYWHERE.

I looked around for so long. David recommened I just turn on my sensor. I told him I didn’t have a picture of one.

“Oh.”

I looked and looked and looked....

Nothing.

I tried jogging out west from Selmie’s spot and paragliding to the big baddie treehouse on the very northern border. I swooped down from higher up the mountain, drawing nearer to the monster-nest, lookin’, lookin’.... oops they saw me.

One of ‘em sounded a horn and they all flew into a tizzy, yowling insults and casting arrows of various types.... Okay just scan, I thought, staying on the move, scan, scan.... Nobody’s got it. I couldn’t see a Frostspear anywhere.

So I dropped to the ground, started from there, and just marathoned it back to the east. The frigid shelf of land was not broad, and there were plenty of baddies. Surely somebody had to have the wanted Frostspear....

I was running, running, there were guys blowing their horns and shooting arrows after me, wolves howling—so many freaking wolves—more baddies, Lizalfos either popping out of the snow or jumping out of their ill-camouflaged hunkerings. None of them had the spear that I wanted.

Man, it’s everywhere except when you’re trying to find it.

I was coming up to a skull-den. Somehow the lookouts didn’t see me until I’d come up the left side and around to the front. Ran right in the open mouth. Three Bokoblins and two Lizalfos. But no Frostspears. Ran back out as fast as I’d run in.

Of course they all started at once and came chasing after me. Monsters were yammering all over the snow in pursuit, the animals were going nuts, every creature was freaking all the other creatures out, a rhinoceros was chasing me....

When suddenly I came upon Lynel country. Silver to boot....

Nope. Not again. Where the heck was I?

I considered my surroundings and realized I’d reached the northern end of the snowfield. I was back in the familiar territories.

Hey, I thought, the shrine is right there. That shrine at the north end of Hebra’s big snowfield. And according to my Slate, there was treasure left inside it. I went to check it out....

No luck.

But the shrine gave me an idea—there were other shrines, plenty of other shrines, where I had likewise left treasure unclaimed. Weapons for which I had no room in my hammerspace. Maybe one of those had been a Frostspear....

So I started looking in shrines whose treasure I had left. Not a lot of luck. A whole lot of not luck. In all the icy regions. I searched and searched and searched every icebound shrine I could find.... And in one icy shrine, I found a FLAMESPEAR.

NOT THE KIND OF THING I WAS LOOKING FOR.

So that’s the game, is it?

I went to the volcano for a bit to look at the unclaimed treasures in shrines there. No luck there either.

Where where where where wheeeeerrrrrre....

In my Slate I looked at the shrine at the Spring of Wisdom. It was a Blessing Shrine. It had treasure unclaimed. That would be easy enough to check. Easier than a combat shrine anyway....

So I went there, and I checked.

AND IT WAS A FROST SPEAR.

YES.

I warped straight to Hateno, straight to Nebb, and showed it.

Gold Rupee. 300 rupees. Oh he liked that.

“Grandpa said ‘Give it to the one who can show you the real deal!’”

Where was his grandpa getting all this cash anyway? Must’ve been a real doter....

Next....

Oh man, Nebb, how far can you take this? But I had hope.... 300 rupees was the highest value you could go in one gem. Surely this would be the last thing.

Next Nebb wanted to see.... an Ancient Short Sword. “You can’t get those around here,” he said as my only clue.

Ancient Short Sword?

I had a one-handed Guardian blade in my inventory, but that wasn’t what it was called.

Hm, I could only think of one place to try....

Robbie.

Away to Akkala I went, and checked in at the Tech Lab. The Ancient Short Sword was there. Cherry could make that all right. For a thousand rupees, a bunch of nuts and bolts or whatever and two of my precious ancient cores? (Out of eleven, one of which I’d only just bought from Teli in Hateno on a rainy day.)

I came back out and paused to check my Ancient Armor. It was already upgraded all the way.

....

Hnnng. I could.... spare the cores....

I asked Cherry for the Short Sword. Freakin’ thing so expensive when weapons were so transient anyway....

And she made it. 40 damage. Looked cool.

Back to Hateno.

But Nebb was headed to bed.

Dang it!

Okay, okay.... It had been this long, it could be a little longer. I slept in my house, too. And had Blood Moon dreams.

The next morning I did some shopping around town: arrows, Bomb Arrows, Tabantha Wheat.... Came out of the shop and it was hard to tell all those little running kids apart when they wouln’t stop moving....

But I eventually found Nebb around midday, playing with his sister Narah.

And I showed him the Ancient Short Sword.

And he gave me a diamond.

“Just like in the books!” He thrilled. He was always saying things like that.

He was really pleased.

“Thanks for showing me so many things! I’m sure my grandpa is super happy... wherever he is! Bye!”

I drew a quick breath. Wait.... his grandpa.... who gave him all these rupees, he was.... was he....?

Nebb?

And before I knew it the banner flashed across my screen, the gleaming sound effect sheened, and I’d completed the The Weapon Connoisseur sidequest.

What.... but....

Uh?

The sidequest notes confirmed it for me:

You showed Nebb, the young man in Hateno Village, all the weapons he could ever want to see. He rewarded you with a diamond.

He feels that his grandfather is unquestionably smiling down on him from the next world now.

....

Man.

Nebb.... I’m sorry for thinking ill of you.

It was late and.... I needed to go to bed, and.... it was late afternoon for Link, so.... I’d put him to bed, too.

I took him back to his Hateno House, and because I am a girl, I first had him remove the Master Sword, and the faithful Rusty Shield that has seen me through all the way from Divine Beast Vah Medoh, and the Knight’s Bow. And I put him in his Warm Doublet because it looked warm yet loose-fitting, and his Snowquill Trousers because they looked comfortably warm as well.... and I put him to bed.

Good night, Hero.

A Monstrous Interlude

Waking of Friday, February 8, 2019 ~ 2

A Monstrous Interlude

Tarrey Town had really boomed in the short time it’d been around.

This sidequest was probably more dramatic to witness if you just bought the Hateno House early on like David did.

This was his favorite sidequest, David said.

It certainly did seem like a good one. ^_^

The now resident old man, Moggs, said the people who lived in the house across from him fought night after night; he could hear it. So I went to investigate.... and found that it was the home of Hagie and Ruli.

So Hagie was Ruli’s husband.

After the sun went down I went around to the back of their house and eavesdropped via a conveniently open window. It seemed they only addressed each other as Mama and Papa, which I thought was adorable....

But just like Moggs had said, they then started going at it pretty noisily.

They were worried about their daughter, who only ate cake. But, said Papa, no cake would please her, even though they had scoured the world for one that would. “Think how much money we’ve spent!” he said, “What will we do? How can we cure her?”

Mama said, “Even if I have to sell my soul to a monster I’ll find the cake that will cure our daughter!”

I see.... I smirked to myself.

Hm, okay, time to find the wok....

And I found one, and started throwing together the ingredients I thought seemed likely. Egg, butter, cane sugar, wheat.... and Monster Extract.

I cooked, and the food did its little dance and Link sang his little song, and....

....

MONSTER CAKE?

I just made a Monster Cake.

This was what happened when you added Monster Extract to something?

Its description read: “It’s said that once you have a taste of this cake, you’ll never forget its sweetness.”

What the heck....

Well, let’s see what it does....

It was still night, but I went back to their house and gave it to them right away; they said they would wake her up and try to get her to eat it.

The screen blacked out.

And when it faded back in it was morning. I still stood outside Hagie and Ruli’s house, so I went inside.... and Hunnie was running around! She was on her feet with so much energy!

“Hi!” she said to me, “Ever hear of a monster cake?”

“A monster what-nows?” I asked. Oh my gosh that was adorable.... XD

“Mama bought one for me! It was really gross!”

Oh was it now? XD

Hunnie went on to say that as soon as she ate it, she was full of energy again! And then sprinted past me right out the door.

Cute kid. XD

Ruli thanked me profusely, gave me 300 rupees for my trouble, and asked if maybe I could talk to Hunnie now and again.

Awwww I love being the Friendly Neighborhood Hylian. ^_^

High Hopes . . . Bogged

Waking of Saturday, December 8, 2018 ~ 2

High Hopes . . . Bogged

David asked me later about the shrine in Ludfo’s Bog, and how I had gotten the orbs down.

“I just climbed up and got ‘em,” I said.

He stared at me.

“....What?” I said.

“You climbed up and got them?”

“Well, I mean, it took some doing, but I had enough stamina—and the Climbing Gear!”

And he stared at me like Gonzo stares at an imbecilic Rizzo, and I stared back at him like an oblivious Kreacher who doesn’t see the issue.

And then he shook his head and I kept playing.

Off to Hestu. I had enough Korok seeds. I asked for one last dance and Hestu did his thing and sang his song, his maracas exploding in a giddy burst of blue confetti.... and I obtained the final shield slot.

Now all my equipment pages were full.

“Shakalo!?” he started with a jolt, “You’ve expanded all your inventories!?”

But he recovered himself quickly and resumed his easy swaying stance dance. “Naaaaaaice!” he said, the word flanked by little music notes. XD

NOW what would he do?

“Thanks to you my maracas sound so... shakey-shake SHAKETY!”

Yes? OuO

“There are more children of the forest out there, and I’m sure they’d still love to meet you!”

Or some such words.

....Oh.

I guessed that really was it. Each equipment page now had twenty slots of hammerspace and.... that was it.

I guessed the rest of the Koroks were....

Well what would happen if you got the rest of the Koroks?

....

I might not pursue that in this playthrough.

Well! With my pockets deep as they would ever go it seemed, I ran to see what I could see in another unvisited piece of the world.

I’d seen this one many times in looking over my map of Central Hyrule—it was hard to miss with its contingent of giant ribs sticking out of the earth in unnatural arrangements, the tight cluster of weathered skull-dens, and the giant horned skull that sat atop the crest of the hill.

This was a place my map called the Bottomless Swamp. It was situated on the eastern edge of the central plains, just north of Whistling Hill. But I’d never ventured close to it for the rampant Guardians in the area....

It seemed a Guardian-free approach could possibly be made from the riverbank on the east side. But that direction led up through the forest of battlemented ribs, as well as an overabundance of sprawling, gurgling Pools of Malice. And it was uphill from low ground, no less. No.... I would take the back door.

I could handle the Guardians now.

I ran out into the grass until the Guardian Stalker saw me. It had the higher ground, but I could still time my parries all right.... Maybe due to my experiences outside the Pit Gate, it just made me nervous whenever they had the high ground.... in the grass....

I took the Guardian down, and proceeded to the top of the hill. At the crest, the grass died away and the earth became pale and hard, sinking into a large depression full of bogwater, in the middle of which rested the enormous horned skull. Monsters patrolled around on it, inside and out, except where one massive horn had partially broken off. That ponderous fragment rested alone and low in the muck. Around the edges of the bog, Malice pressed in toward the shore and sloughed heavily away downhill to the east and among the skull-dens clustered into the rock like trophies. By the river, the ribs stood clawlike in a challenging and grotesque barrier. Interspersed with all of this stood tall, jagged rocks that were pocked all over as if they’d been boiled.

Ugh, it was creepy. Malice and bogwater....

I stormed the castle nonetheless, knocking what baddies I could into the muck with my arrows before.... eugh.... paragliding over the bog and landing on the connected horn’s lower tip—for the horns curved back and down and around, like rams’ horns.

The number of silver monsters I was made to endure, Bokoblins and Moblins, was a right pain in my royally beknighted patushka. I knocked them into the bog as often as I could; any gemstones they might have dropped weren’t worth the hassle of beating it out with them over solid ground. Or bone.

After I’d cleared the top, I was blessed to discover a hole in the crown of the skull, via which I could rain terror from above on the inner inhabitants, courtesy of Ja Baij. And as the inner level was not well founded, the blasts were sufficient to knock most of the smaller baddies over the edges and into the sucking, mucky drink. But that big heavy Moblin.... him I just had to sail down and deal with personally.

When every last baddie had been sent back to the Evil Jar, I turned my attentions to the precarious plank of wood bridging a large and dangerous gap in the floor of the inner layer. On the other side, nestled in the cavity of the occipital bun, was a wooden chest.

Huh, wooden....

But appearances weren’t everything. This place was so dreadfully imposing, so heavily guarded, surely there had to be something valuable inside....

I tiptoed my way across the plank, and opened the chest.

It was a hundred rupees.

A cool hundred rupees.

Neat.

Thanks, guys.

I got off the skull island and traipsed around the hillside to the east, skirting the Malice pools and sweeping up what baddies I’d missed. There was a small forest a short way to the north. The forest that spanned from one shore of the river to the other, just near the Wetland Stable. Pikango had said.... there might be a memory in there....

Or, well, rather I had shown Pikango one of the images from Princess Zelda’s pictograph gallery, and he had said the pictograph was probably taken in that forest, though on what side of the river he could not tell.

I knew David had yet to find the memory linked to the pictograph taken in a woods....

But David never stops to chat it up with the locals.

The only problem was.... David and Savannah were in the room with me now, and they wanted to watch a movie.

Huaaugh I killed time in pointless ways, examining boring-looking hills for Koroks, running back to climb a stone tower.... The forest was so close.... I wanted to explore it for the memory, but.... I didn’t want to let on to David what I was doing.... Plus with he and Savannah together in the room.... That was an as yet unknown variable, and I didn’t want to risk any buzzkill at all, especially with a memory cinematic on the line....

Eugh and there was that tense bit in the conversation; David kept pestering me to wrap it up and get off already.... but I kept pressing that I wanted to explore.... How did it lead up to what he said....?

“What is there a memory in there or something?” His voice was still chiding, not serious, but crap.

“I didn’t say that—” Wrong thing to say. “—I’ve been trying to find Koroks....” Or some such lame excuse when I’d ONLY JUST already maxed out my carrying capacity....

I ran around the riverside green like a distractible puppy—typical enough behavior in and of itself whenever I was running out of juice on playtime.... Did it throw him off the scent?

He pressed me further. They wanted to watch a movie.

“Okay, okay,” I said at length when I could think of nothing else to do.

I relented, and went to Pepp’s—it was 9:00 in the morning, game time—and slept until noon.

Good night.

Another Hat!

Waking of Saturday, August 4, 2018 ~ 2

Another Hat!

I sand-sealed back to Gerudo Town and found Barta again. As we visited in the barracks, she confided to me that when I’d shown up out there in the desert, she thought the voe of her dreams had appeared.

....Heh.

I also spoke to Liana, and she was so happy I’d found Barta, she said, “Here, take this,” and handed me a hundred rupees, “Go buy yourself something nice at the market.”

Aww, thanks, Liana. ^_^

I said hi to Captain Teake on my way into the palace, where I saw that young Chief Riju had a certain red exclamation mark above her head.... Had I really already....?

I spoke to her.

“You’ve brought back the smiles to my people,” she said, “I know that you more than anyone else will be able to use this helm to its full potential.”

Or some.... such.... words.... Ah, that wonderful little ITEM GET song played, and I found myself in brand new possession of the Thunder Helm.

I was now LIGHTNING PROOF.

SWEET.

Would it make the same bubble-effect in a large radius around me? Would it glow?

I almost tried it on right then and there, but I remembered myself, and where I was.... I would have to leave town first.

I took my leave of the palace and jogged outside to put it on and have a look at myself!

....

There was no glowing or magical effect. Which wasn’t completely unexpected. I was sure it would still protect me well enough....

It did make me look just as buggy-eyed as it had done the Chief, but it was otherwise very shiny and ornate!

Cool. ^_^

Agh but I did not want to stop—I warped to Dueling Peaks to check with Hino just one more time.

But Hino wasn’t there.

I blinked and turned to gather Swift Violets from around the waterfall behind the shrine for a bit.... and after I had plucked as many as I could, then Hino made an appearance.

But there was no Blood Moon tonight.

Hhhhh.

It was in the three o’clock hour in the afternoon. A bit later for myself on the couch.

....

I just went to bed, and slept until morning.

Good night.

The Eldest Fairy

Waking of Saturday, August 4, 2018

The Eldest Fairy

I warped back to Outskirt once again to hit up Trott.

Plus three hundred rupees.

Then to Goron City to see if Ramella had changed her mind, but she still wanted Sapphires.

No way.

From there I warped.... to Gut Check Rock. Perhaps there wasn’t a plethora of rupees this way, but being on the volcano had reminded me....

The last time I had crossed the Deplian Badlands, my shrine-detector had not been active. I wanted to comb the north skirt of the volcano again—I thought there MUST be another shrine somewhere that I had missed! For it was a difficult area to get to, and bordered only by the shrines at Gut Check rock far to the east, and the dark Thyphlo Ruins far to the west—and that shrine wasn’t even worth warping to for the dark way you would have to make out of the maze and over the bog! Dang you, Ketoh Wawai, what were you thinking?

I started westward from Gut Check Rock and climbed up and down all over the mountainside. I killed overly-ready supplies of baddies and collected tons of loot; I got a great pictograph of the Eldin Great Skeleton for those chumps at that Akkala Stable; I nicked off two shards of Dinraal’s horn! didn’t play with the Lynels, though, nope—but still.... I could not find another shrine.

Deplian Badlands.... Too bad even for any Sheikah monks?

....!

Hm. Only now do I consider how the cliff descends into the northern chasm.

I wonder what’s down there....

Although.... doesn’t my sensor detect in lateral directions just the same despite any differences in altitude? Surely I would have heard something already.... Though I’ve never put that to a rigorous test....

As I meandered back to Goron City on foot, I was at least grateful for one thing—there had been a HECKTON of rare ore deposits on the north side of the mountain. And with my new supply of baddie-bits I went to visit Tanko again and sold him a bunch of stuff, and even some Topaz.

That kicked me over ten thousand.

Okay.... hoo.

I warped back to the Gerudo Great Skeleton, and the Great Fairy Tera’s cocoon.

“I got the stuff,” I said, “....This has not been easy.”

I held it out....

The way they always grab the money from you—and just like that—

My hard-sought ten thousand rupees disappeared.

I was poor again, in goods and money.

It was the thinnest I’d felt in a while.

The Great Fairy was rejuvenated, and her cocoon pulsated and opened into a white flower with pink-orange speckles!

And up came Tera AND HER HAIR WAS SO BIG it just wouldn’t STOP—VICTORIAN—WHAT A POMPADOUR! White hair, looming in a HUGE and luscious poof to lean into a dip on her right side—and she had bigger fairy-fin ornaments behind her ears than I had seen on any of her sisters! <3

She was decadent.

She gave a watery cough before properly introducing herself as the eldest of the Great Fairy Sisters. And she said that she had seen my efforts from within her bud.

Well that was heartening. :]

She said that she sees everything. In fact, she said, she was going to predict what I was thinking at that moment!

...

...

And after a moment she said, “I bet you’re probably thinking, ‘Can’t we just get to the part where she enhances my clothes?’”

Haaa lawl. |D

“What an impatient person,” she said. But she impressed that she really did appreciate what I had done for her. And she said that now.... she could enhance my clothes TO THE MAX.

But.... I’d noticed this pattern with the clothing enhancements. My wardrobe was becoming quite extensive, and whenever I took something to a Great Fairy for an enhancement, the item was returned to me waaaay at the back of my inventory. This made it a little difficult to keep the various sets near each other and together, but I was managing that pretty well.... mostly.

I had never employed the Sort button within those menus.... Not on purpose that I can recall anyway. But you know how it is when you accumulate so many messy piles—you know where everything is.... until you clean.

But this was getting to be a lot of messy piles....

Hrmmmrmm....

Maybe I’d try it.... I walked toward the shrine until I got an autosave, after which I entered my menus and sorted my clothes.

Heh, sounds like a chore I’d been neglecting.

I observed the results, which came in two orientations: one by body part.... and oh! one by sets! :) Well that was nice! Perhaps I could utilize that....

Oh I should just do it, I thought. Besides, Tera could work on seventeen of the forty-two items of clothing I had.... I may as well.... eh?

But.... I just.... couldn’t. Not yet.

I paused again, reloaded from just before I had sorted and kept my messy closet.

Mmmmm but to start I would let her enhance the Climber’s Bandana—that one wasn’t part of any set that I had....

It was already up to the third level, so this should have maxed it out then.

So I turned it over to Tera and she leaned in close and HER MOUTH WAS OPEN WIDE AND OH MY GOSH SHE JUST GRABBED ME IN HER GIANT FIST AND SNOODLED ME SO HARD AGAINST HER SWEETLOVING FACE AND THEN PLUNGED BACK DOWN INTO HER WATER INSIDE HER FLOWER WHAT—

Link’s scream so quickly faded away and the screen went black.

My mind instantly conjured up the deep blue, rippling, colorful world inside her home, and I wondered.... What would I see? Inside her flower?

But the screen only came back a moment later, above ground as ever.

When I came to, I was lying face down on the petally platform where would I normally speak to any Great Fairy.

I got up with a groan.

My Climber’s Bandana was enhanced.

“Want me to enhance any others?” she asked me in some such words of her own verbiage.

And I would have imagined the answer to be NOPE NO THANKS, THANKS BUT NO.

OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA EAT ME.

But.... I upgraded a bunch of clothes anyway. And those pieces ended up all out of order in my inventory but.... that was okay. I couldn’t complain with the results; they were so strong.

“Sometimes I’m so good it’s scary,” Tera said.

All The World's a Pawn Shop

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 6

All The World’s a Pawn Shop

Rupees. I needed rupees.

My first stop was Trott at the Outskirt Stable; he was always willing to pay a hundred rupees for a hunk of gourmet meat! But.... he would only do it thrice a day. But that was three hundred rupees more than I had. That put me just over a thousand.... Only nine thousand to go....

....

At least it wasn’t over nine thousand.

Next was Goron City. I knew there was a Gerudo wandering around there who would pay top-rupee for certain ores.... and I found her—Yamella, no, Ramella, that was her name.

But she wanted my Sapphires—and ten at a time at that! I couldn’t split with ten of those! What if I needed them for something else? What if a Great Fairy could do something with them?

I couldn’t cut a deal with Ramella.

So I went to the Goron City General Store, and had a visit with Tanko. I skimmed my supplies to him bit by bit BY BIT until I had 8,039 rupees in my wallet.

But there was a lot that I just wasn’t willing to part with. Like gemstone ores, though I spared as many Ambers and Opals as I would. But Rubies, Sapphires and Diamonds? Those were just too hard to come by.

8,039.... That was pretty close....

But.... I was getting tired....

I needed to be going to bed for real....

The Other Side of Limbo

Waking of Friday, August 3, 2018 ~ 5

The Other Side of Limbo

The sand storm raged until—

That chime.

And my feet trod for nothing.

You can’t go any farther.

I had reached the western edge of my map.

So I turned south.

The storm continued to rage all around me, blotting out sun and moon, the wind howling, the grit flying horizontal across my path. On and on and on I jogged through the murk, shouldering off to the right every once in a while just to make sure I was still on the border, still on the edge.

My Sheikah Slate had lost functionality again; it was impossible to tell how far I had gone or how far there was left to go. All I had to guide me was that bumping chime to my right side—not that it was too difficult to move in roughly a straight line.

It seemed to go on forever.... just wind and Stalmoblins and dust and more wind and a few lonely animals and more Stalizalfos and—“NOT THE KEESE, NOT THE KEESE!”

I ran whenever I saw them.

Well.... I ran whenever I saw anything. Or nothing.

I just ran.

Was it day or night? I couldn’t tell.

There was a shape to my left. Roundish, humping obtrusive out of the fuzzy horizon. What was this....?

I slowed, and edged closer....

It was a skull-den. And there was at least one tower flanking it, with a Bokoblin on top, keeping a weather eye on—its invisible surroundings.

And I think it’s only now that I’m reminded of the morning of Thursday, January 9, 2003. But that is another story.

I traced the Bokoblin’s obscured movements through the sand, and stayed just deep enough away in the storm that he did not see me as I circled round to the back of their camp.

They never guard the backs.

I shinnied up the rear of the skull, and crouched low before sniping the two lookouts. The wind and the desert devoured their remains and there was no reclaiming them. Tsch!

Thereafter I stood to drop bombs through one of the eye-holes. The wind made this tricky, but with a little trial and error I found a good position, and watched as the life-meters below me reacted, converged, and were blown in all directions, over and over again.... I played this game until they were all dead, and thankfully, the bits leftover were less blustered and more contained inside the den.

I didn’t have room for the actual treasure inside the chest, though.

Oh well.

I harvested what I could from the Limbo Den, and made my way back from nothing to nothing; I hit the border, and started skirting southward again.

The air was a shifting array of dull colors all mashing together, darker beneath, lighter above. Somewhat.

Thank goodness for these Sand Boots at least....

I jogged.... and jogged.... and jogged....

And there was another shape to my left.

This one was.... geologically improbable. A great dark bow loomed from some large mass on the right, and arced unsupported through the air to the left, pointing north.

That had to be—BUT FIRST—

I hurried. Further southward. More creatures, more critters, Lizalfos burrowing through the sand.... I bumped to the right again—the border was still there—and then came the same abrupt chime—and I was brought to a halt.

I had come to the farthest point.

I had reached the corner.

So had the Lizalfos.

I cut them down, and the leftover bits rolled away unreachable in the gale. I might have been able to grab a talon or something....

The big shape with the bowhead still loomed darker than the surrounding grit. I could have approached it from this new angle, but.... instead I followed the western edge of the world back north, until I was even with the bow again. And I stepped eastward out of the storm....

As the air cleared, the great skull came into view. The bow-shape resolved into the enormous upper jaw, the entirety of it from cranium to nose-tip longer and thinner and more streamlined than that of the other Leviathan had been, the one on the volcano. That one had been broader, heavier-looking, more armored, like some giant horny toad.

But this one looked a proper whale. And the entire skeleton was smooth and bleached, whereas the other had been so weathered and darkened that in places it looked more like stone.

And there was another difference—round about where the scapulae might be, the long bones of some right-side limb jutted up from the spine at a high angle—sticking right up into the sky!

What in the—?

Was this . . . .

Was this a WINDFISH?

The mouth was open, the lower jaw buried deep into the sand. And—there was something—

There was a Gerudo! Kneeling directly before the open mouth as if in prayer to a deity.... she was so tiny before it....

Who....?

I approached her.

It was Barta.

“Barta!” The one who had been imprisoned before!

“Ugh,” she groaned, “Are you... a fairy? An angel? Are you here to guide my passage?”

She wasn’t kneeling out of awe or respect; she was clinging onto her spear for dear life, resting in the shade of the bowheaded jaw. “...Everything’s going hazy... This might be the end...”

“Snap out of it!” I said.

But she only moaned, “Ahh... If only I could’ve eaten a hearty durian one last time... A hearty durian... A hearty durian...”

I spoke to her again.

“Ahh, spirits of the Goddess... Before you take me from this world, if I could just taste fruit... Just one last bite of a hearty durian...”

And here I was given two choices of response, and I laughed at the cruel polarity: “Take this!” or “Good-bye.”

“Take this!” I said, and the screen blacked out and back in.

Barta stood on her feet now. “Hah... I’ve returned from the brink of death thanks to you...” she gasped, “Sarqso!”

Then she saw me more clearly—“Huh? Is that you I spoke to before? So you are actually a voe... I thought you were a bit muscular for a Hylian vai.”

XD

“But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I owe you my life, after all!”

Ah, so many Gerudo ladies who’d found me out already. Felt kinda nice to be real.

“Hah... Anyway,” Barta continued, “I’m totally exhausted. Maybe I’ll rest just a little longer then head home.”

I was given only one response to say: “Your boss was MAD.” It was not untrue. Liana and her other subordinates.... had been quite agitated the last time I’d seen them in the barracks.

“Huh? So...they knew I snuck off...”

I nodded.

“...Oh, I am in such trouble...” Barta muttered under her breath. “Yep, looks like I’d better go on ahead. See you later and sav’orq!”

And the screen blacked out again, and when it came back, Barta had gone.

Is sav’orq another form of thanks? Or is it perhaps an expression of farewell? Someone else had said it to me when I’d turned down some business or other. But if that’s what it were, then Barta would have been repeating herself. Does it regard rather the time of day?

Hmm.

I hoped she wouldn’t catch it too bad from Liana. Then again, maybe that would have been good for her.

I turned to check out the skeleton—the shrine beneath it and near to the skull was called the Hawa Koth Shrine, and it was the awesomest shrine ever, with much electricity and GIANT GEARS to play with.... It was like the sparky younger cousin of Kaam Ya’Tak....

But that wasn’t what interested me the most.

After I’d locked down the warpable, I turned to the large, thrumming, pulsing cocoon a stone’s cast down-whale....

There was a FAIRY FOUNTAIN BENEATH THIS THING.

....

AND THE GREAT FAIRY TERA WANTED TEN THOUSAND RUPEES?

. . . .

Oh boy....

. . . . . . .

And I was.... just about skint-broke....

. .  .   .    .     .      .

I needed to go make me some cash.