Rockin' Robbie

Waking of Sunday, June 4, 2017

Rockin’ Robbie

Dear Uncle Rob,

I found you in a video game today. Well, actually I found you in the video game a few days ago, but I didn’t save my game then. Because I thought Mom might like to see too. So I played it again today.

It’s a Zelda game. The Legend of Zelda. Maybe you’ve heard of those games. They’re pretty cool, and very adventurous! You play as a young man named Link, and more often than not, you have to rescue the Princess Zelda and save the world from the evil Ganon.

So I was playing as Link, and Mom was watching, and I had to get to a place called the Akkala Ancient Tech Lab. Because I’d heard there was a guy named Robbie there who could really help me out.

It was a long journey through forests and rivers and mountains, and there were a lot of horrible monsters to slay along the way—and there were a lot of friends I made, too—but I finally made it to the Lab. And when I stepped inside, there were two new people I met: a lady named Jerrin, and a little old guy named Robbie.

Okay, so he was shorter than you. And definitely several decades older. Also, his thick white hair stuck out straight back so it looked like a big square mallet coming off the back of his head, and he was wearing these wiggy goggles that spun around and made him look like a chameleon!

But you know what? When I went up and talked to him, Mom and I just kind of forgot about these differences. Because when he introduced himself, it was clear:

Robbie was a Rock Star.

“Doctorrrrrr....” he wound up, stamping his feet on the ground, “ROBBIE!”

And when he shouted his name he jumped up and struck a rock star pose with one epic hand pointing into the high distance and his head held up like he was gazing into the stars!

And an electric guitar hit came right out of the game’s music just for that! And you could hear a distant crowd screaming and cheering!

Mom looked surprised at me and said, “It’s Rockin’ Rob!” And we both laughed and hugged.

There aren’t very many electric guitars in the game. The music is mostly just a piano. And sometimes some drums and other things when the monsters start chasing you.... You’d probably find it kinda boring.

I feel bad.... that I never.... saw you play.

I never even cared.

Well I guess we were all so busy, I guess everybody’s busy, and we’ve got our own lives, and you were just so far away anyway.

I just don’t know what I feel more disgusted at: that I never cared.... or that like some kind of socio-sheep I only cared after your stroke.

I never even knew about Rockin’ Rob until after you couldn’t play anymore.

To me you were just.... Weird Uncle Rob.

That’s what we used to call you, back when there were two Uncle Robs and we had to differentiate.

I’m sorry.

Maybe I didn’t realize how mean that was because it was just something we said in the family. Maybe you weren’t real to me until I saw the pictures Mom brought back after your stroke.

Or maybe you were weird. I know we never visited you very often. I have only some sunbleached memory of you outside the car, and the smell of cigarette smoke which I thought was gross.

I guess your life was just a whole lot different than mine.

But.... maybe weirdness is relative.

You still had a life, and so many people that loved you.

They said you were always first in line at open mic night.

Always.

Rockin’ Rob.

I’m sorry I was a coward when we did visit you later.

The place just smelled so weird and I was afraid of germs and didn’t want to touch anything.

But when I saw you, I thought.... What he needs is a hug....

But I didn’t hug you. I really had had a cold; that was true at least. I clung onto that stupid excuse like some kinda pansy.

But I was happy that.... at least I could be brave enough to hold your hand.

And when you kissed it before we left....

That was so special to me.

I’m sorry for the words you couldn’t say.

But happy for what you could still say that didn’t need any words.

Thank you, Uncle Rob. <3

I love you.

Love,

Andrea

God please help me be more loving.

P.S. We visited your grave on Memorial Day, and the other family there.

Did you hear what I said to you then?

“Robbie, you know what I thought playing my game last night? :

“ ‘Heeeeeeelll YEAH!’ ”