Waking of Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Yesterday I had to reset my clock.
The power had been out for a couple of hours, because some men from SRP came to
our neighborhood and removed an old transformer in the alleyway, replacing it
with a newer one.
Must’ve been that devil from Hateno
Village again....
That night I had dreams that after
the next Blood Moon.... two rusted
Guardians waited down the hill from Robbie’s house.
I had seen something very strange
when I downloaded the Akkala map. And now at Robbie’s house I could see it with
my own eyes: far to the northeast, standing tall from the sea like some kind of
prison, was a great, cubic island of black stone.
It was a maze.
And at its heart in the back the
orange glow of a shrine could be seen.
David had told me it was swarming
with Guardians, so I went to have a look for myself. I jumped off the seaside
cliff, and paraglided through the rain....
As I neared, a Flying Guardian came
into view, sweeping over the twisting passages. Anything below it would surely
be trapped like a rat.
Then another came into view. And
another. And another.
Four
Guardian Flyers patrolled above.
And who knew what lay in wait inside....
I sure didn’t, because my stamina
ran out just before I got there.
I warped from my freefall back to
Robbie’s, and thence.... to the Plateau.
I wanted to see if old Guardians could be salvaged more than once.
Turned out they couldn’t; none of the old rusted ones
around the Temple of Time had anything left for me to find.
Feeling braver, I tried around the East Abbey—home of my first nightmares.
There wasn’t much to be found there either. But I took the opportunity to mark
on my map where the live Guardians
were situated.
As long as I was back on the
Plateau I felt like wandering through it again. I had a Warm Doublet now, and I
wanted to see the top of Mount Hylia.... and pick up some treasure I’d meant to
get before, high on a tower near the treehouse where I first learned to
cook.... There were plenty of Koroks that turned up along the way as well....
And then there was something that
Jenn had said, so long before....
“How do you beat that miniboss in the forest?”
I hadn’t seen any such miniboss.
Of course, I hadn’t combed the
entire forest, either. What was it, a Hinox? A Lynel? I wandered through the
trees until I came to a little open spot of ground that made me think once again
what a splendid fighting arena it
would make....
And a Stone Talus burst out of the earth—not even Talus Junior—just STONE
TALUS.
And the Piano conjured up all its
percussive friends and laughed at my
blundering into the trap!
I ran. The Talus dug up huge boulders out of the earth and
hurled them at me! I could only dodge them and get behind the thickest trees—oh
gads, one hit with one of those....
I put some distance between me and
it until it quieted down again, and then....
I ran back in and climbed up on top
of it before it could fully unearth itself this time! The Piano started up
again and the Talus pitched and rolled—it is HARD to stand on top of a
Talus! But there was its big lump of ore sticking out—I could attack that—if I
could reach it....!
It flung me off and I hit the
ground and rolled to a stop.
“Get up get up get up, Link!”
I ran back in, so close to its
stubby little legs—stubby, they were
as tall as I was—and sheltering
beneath its bulk, I thought ridiculously: The
closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm!
The Talus’ huge, huge hammerlike upper appendages pounded the ground—but I was too close
to its body. I jumped and gained a lucky purchase on its.... back? I think. It
was hard to tell—and started climbing—at times hanging almost upside-down
underneath it as it rocked and lunged! But I scaled up its stony hide and got
to the top once more.
I hammered away at the protrusion
of ore with my Special 38 Big Stick—the Knight’s
Claymore—knocking chunks of Amber off at every stroke—the stone beneath my
feet rumbled and jerked so erratically—it was so difficult to maintain my
stance—but then with a final swing the ore protrusion shattered and the Talus was defeated!
And as it toppled I jumped and ran for it! I’d had giants
fall on me before and I was NOT going to have that again!
The Talus collapsed and exploded
into a resplendent pile of glittering
gems—with two Rubies this time I
think—which I happily collected before skipping off on my merry way through the
woods.
I beat a Talus! ^_^
When I’d had my fill of the
Plateau, I thought of where else I might find Guardians to salvage. My first
thought was the Valley of Terror near
the Dueling Peaks. But I also thought perhaps to sweep the road between here
and there....
I paraglided down into the Forest of Time just to the northeast,
because that had looked interesting on my map, dodged a couple of Moblins, and
headed for a tall wooden lookout tower to take shelter in. Some Stalkoblins (as I’ve learned they are
called from my Compendium) popped up in my wake and started throwing rocks at
me as I climbed the ladder. It hurt
more than I thought it should—and then I realized I was still wearing my Warm
Doublet. Not a lot of defense threaded into that one. Except from the elements.
I came out onto the high platform,
and choked—the tower was loaded with high explosives.
“Oh, nope!” I shouted, heading for the first barrel. “You.” I grabbed
it— “Out.” —and chucked it over the edge. It exploded in a magnificent
fireball, taking at least one of the Stalkoblins with it. “And you.” And the
other— “Git!” —went over in like
fashion.
The volatility of my immediate
surroundings now significantly lessened, I had a look around. You know, it was
a nice little tower—a nice, wide
platform, little guardrails.... I could see the east road I had first taken so
long ago, threading away through some ruins—
And there were Guardian husks down
there.
I
could search those—
But no, I couldn’t. Not right now.
Because a Blood Moon was rising.
Those east road Guardians would have
to wait.
I warped back to Robbie’s and
paraglided down the hill, grateful it was steep enough to allow me to do so. I
found the rock again . . . . and waited.
I readied myself for a scuffle—I
knew there were those three Stalmoblins there at least, but the Guardian?
I waited . . . .
11:30 struck, and the ground began
to smoke. Unholy embers. Hazy light. Swift red clouds. And the Piano rumbled
the pained low groaning it reserved only for those moments . . . .
I stood away from the rock, and
faced the space where the Guardian had been before, when Zelda’s warning came
in vision to my mind once more . . . .
And when she had done speaking . .
. .
THE
GUARDIAN WAS BACK.
Back and awake with blue light,
clicking and whirring as it swiveled its can-head, looking for things to shoot.
“Dang it!” I hopped over to the other side of the rock.
The Stalmoblins didn’t appear.
But now the Guardian was back.
How’d
you manage that, Ganon? Resurrecting machinery
you never even spawned in the first place?
Ah
poop this was so lame....
I climbed back on the rock, and
destroyed it the same way I had destroyed it before, with arrows to the eye.
And when it broke down and
exploded, I looked hopefully for Ancient Gears or Cores....
But all that was there was a pile
of screws.
“You cheapskate,” I muttered as I
hopped down to collect them.
Well screw you too.
. . . .
You know, they might actually have
been springs, but then I couldn’t have made that joke.
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