The Blade Of Evil's Bane

Afternoon of Saturday, February 24, 2018 ~ 2

The Blade Of Evil’s Bane

[[In which Contraltissimo cheats by reviewing game footage one more time instead of relying solely upon memory and notes, since it has been so, so dread long]]

I walked across the stones, and.... there was the Sword. It demanded my attention through a brief cinematic.

The Master Sword.

It stood in a triangular pedestal, and Silent Princess flowers grew all around it....

I.... took a pictograph, for the Compendium, before coming closer.

The Master Sword!

I reached forward and touched it to draw it out.

Flash!

Images—Zelda’s voice—Ganon—the rain—I was hurt—

And I was backing away, reeling.... dazed....

“Well, well,” the giant tree in the middle of the woods spoke, “It’s . . . you.”

Or some . . . what . . . I . . .

I mean I knew I’d been getting closer to the middle of the forest and I knew there was that giant tree there and I’d seen its branches from far away and I always thought it kinda looked like a cherry tree in bloom but everything had seemed so dead but—

My gosh, I had not been expecting this giant tree to .... talk to me.

“I was beginning to lose hope that you’d ever show up. Even my patience has limits, you know.” Or some . . . such . . . words?

“Pocahontas . . . that tree is talking to me,” I said.... or thought.... I think....

The voice was slow, deep, airy.... and decidedly affected.

Well, they were big lips to match.

Koroks gamboled about the woods.

This was the Deku Tree, a being who had watched over Hyrule since time immemorial.

He knew who I was, but I had no memory of him.

But he told me about the sword—the sword with the power to seal away the darkness. He told me it was I who had wielded the Master Sword one hundred years ago against Calamity Ganon. And that it could only be wielded by the knight—the Hero—worthy to defeat such an evil.

I had been that Knight.

But the Deku Tree warned me even so: the Master Sword was not to be taken lightly. It still exacted a test of and a placed burden upon any who would dare to possess it.

It felt as if.... it had a fierce will all of its own....

If I tried to take it in any kind of weakened state, I would lose my life where I stood.

I might have reached into my pockets for an apple or something at this point. Just to get up to full hearts. I had a good number of them....

Well.... If I had wielded it once before....

I set my hands around the hilt . . . . and pulled.

Dyoop . . . Dyoop . . . Dyoop . . .

My hearts began to drain out. Fast.

....

Alarmingly fast.

Dyoop . . Dyoop . .

And faster still....

THE SWORD BUDGED.

Dyoop. Dyoop. Dyoop. Faster and faster—

The sword budged bit by bit—

And as my hearts neared their lower limit—

I pulled it out.

And I raised it up.

And that fanfare—that iconically Zelda fanfare played in so grandiose and great and terrible a crashing as I never had heard it before—

The screen went white.

“Your master will come for you,” said Zelda’s voice.

The Master Sword lay on the triangular pedestal.

It was....

It was a wreck. Battered and stained and with deep gouges and notches and cuts into its blade.

And Princess Zelda....

She looked no better off.

She wore the same white dress she had worn as she prayed in the Spring of Power, but now it was all muddied and dirty. She was filthy; there were smudges on her arms, her shoulders, her face, dirt and grime browning her hair.... She looked a mess—What had happened to her?

The Princess had brought the sword here for safekeeping, until I could come to claim it again—she was so certain that I would come to claim it again, though the Sleep of Restoration would drain me of my memories.... so certain....

They exchanged some words, the Princess and the Tree. There was something else yet that she had to do, but she asked the Deku Tree if he could deliver a message to me for her. “Tell him I—” she started. But—

“Now then,” the Deku Tree’s voice interrupted, resonating deeply and warmly, “Don’t you think it would sound better in your own voice?”

The Princess smiled. “Yes,” she said.

The Master Sword still lay battered on the ground. When Zelda finally did bend down, it was with the utmost tenderness and a Grecian grace that she laid her hands on the hilt.... raised it high, the tip pointing downward.... her eyes closed in penetrating meditation for a moment.... and then lowered it slowly into the pedestal—sealing it in place with a last downward thrust.

Holy light seemed to shine up from the earth in a tiny shaft about the blade where the sword stood alone, in the grove of the Deku Tree....

I lowered the sword and moved through a few vigorous practice-swings before sheathing it—in that blue sheath with the golden trim—

The Deku Tree seemed to know that I had just relived one of my memories. He told me that when I had become separated from the Sword, the Princess had thought to bring it here, where she knew it would be safe under the his watch.

But as for herself.... she was still fighting, trapped within the confines of the castle, waiting for the time when I would be able to free her again.

“She has a smile like the sun,” the Deku Tree said, and for just a moment, the affectation melted away, and I could have sworn the great trunk of him bowed back in a wistful skyward glance, “I would do much to feel its warmth upon me again.”

A smile like the sun.

That was beautiful . . . .

But the lovely spell was shortly broken and gave way to a giddiness I didn’t quite expect, when that four-note theme, indicating a new acquisition, played in a somewhat slower, hammier style than I think I’d heard it before. “Yooou geeet theee thiiiing!” I was always wont to sing along with it....

Oh my gosh....

I HAVE THE MASTER SWORD.

I HAVE THE MASTER SWORD.

The Deku Tree told me not to rely too much on its power, and to avoid overusing it when I didn’t need to, or I would have to wait for its power to recover.... but....

I HAVE THE MASTER SWORD.

When I had come through quite every cinematic, I moved slowly forward. The woods, Korok Woods, sprawled temptingly in every direction, several Koroks standing here and there and everywhere whom I knew would not disappear at my approach. Some of them were tailed by little exclamation marks, indicating quests or tasks they might ask of me. They perched among the giant tangles of the Deku Tree’s roots, or stood by the heads of trails that led off to who knew where, into this forest that seemed so enormously youthful as it burst with life and water and color, flowers and mushrooms and strange luminescent pods growing in the jovial celebration just short of a tendrily riot—

But....

Not yet....

I stepped forward, regarding the chirruping creatures kindly but not pausing to speak with any of them. My shrine-locator was still brreeping, and it wasn’t until I had locked down the Keo Ruug Shrine that I allowed myself to relax at all.

And relax I wanted to.

Though I’m just a little sorry to say that one of the first things I did was muster the gall to go climbing up the Deku Tree—all up the side of his face now, really—until I had reached the top.

There was a Korok up there.

The color of his face and the fine shape of his hinted moustache made me nickname him Colonel Mustard, right there.

But when I spoke to him, he asked me if I were ready to take on some kind of super-challenge.

What? No! I backed out. What did he want of me?

But Colonel Mustard only laughed at my poor timid hesitance—a wicked little cackle that made David laugh, too—“I’ve never heard him do that before!” he said.

Enough.

I paraglided back down to the ground, and climbed a gently sloping root until I came to a kind of large knothole in the Deku Tree’s front. It seemed to be some kind of hub....

The Deku Tree’s Navel? That was the name of this place? Um. ._.

There was a hollow space inside, the ceiling a bit low, but not oppressive; it was rather cozy—and there was a lit wok in the center.... and a small Goddess Statue to one side.... and two alcoves manned by two Koroks selling homely forest goods—and somehow Shock Arrows—I bought those right up.... and one alcove more....

“This is my favorite character in the game,” said David.

“Really?”

He had been hinting that his favorite was around here somewhere....

This alcove contained what was unmistakably a bed, formed from perfectly twisted, shapely segments of natural wood, blanketed with broad, soft-looking leaves, and nestled among great fungusy shelves growing from the barked walls like bedside tables while one of the luminescent pods kept vigil.

I spoke to the attendant Korok, Pepp, who.... well now I think about it had kind of an ironic name for how sleepy he was. XD

Pepp had been waiting for me ever since I had gone, keeping this bed ready for whenever I should return. And it was with the tiniest, most helpful, eager, sweetloving vocalizations that he expressed his dear little hopes to me that I, the Hero, would lie down in the bed that he had been making and keeping and freshening just for me for a hundred years. How hopeful he sounded that I would like the thing that he made. <3

It was these noises that had struck David so, and given him such a liking for the little guy.

And hearing him for myself.... kinda gave me a liking for him too. :3 My gosh he was so cute.... X3

And so, as it was late, I fulfilled little Pepp’s dearest wish, and lay down in his leafy bed, asking him to wake me in the morning.... before drifting off to sleep.

Deepest Woods

Afternoon of Saturday, February 24, 2018, noted the same day, written and edited properly beginning Tuesday, May 29, 2018, and I am pained

I am so, so pained.

Deepest Woods

It had been too long.

Too long.

I started my game. David was with me.

I was on top of the Dragon’s Head, the giant tree breaking through. The Spring of Courage, that’s where this was. The soothing spring music played; some ringing, resonating, sustained thing that I cannot name—somewhere between harpsichord and glass armonica—only rolling through clustery chords that felt nevertheless.... unhurried.

It’s a restful fill for the air.

What was I doing here again?

I went to my map. The blue ribbon of the dragony river grinned at me.

Oh yes. I remembered. I was looking for Mister Hestu. Fooling myself he was in Faron Woods.

All right.

It was time to get serious and find him.

I had already completed a quest for pants; and now the game was late; I really needed to go questing for pockets before I had no room left for anything.

I needed Mister Hestu.

And I knew where to find him.

Somehow, in my heart.... I think I’d known for a long, long time.

I warped to the Woodland Tower in the treacherous bog, and paraglided thence down into the path running hard against Death Mountain’s foot, upward into the hills, into the trees, in between those grassy shelves where I had first encountered wolves....

And I passed through the grey-walled bottleneck, down into the grey-green, living softness, and the light dimmed with the curling mist, and the Piano came to heel.

It was quiet.

Although I was cautious, I proceeded with a slowness borne more of reverence than of fear. This was a momentous place.

The torches were in plain view and easy enough to see, clear and empty swaths of grass or bare earth between them as they led round tree and hill and boulder, twining deeper. I always followed the embers. The tiny, glowing specks from one torch always seemed to drift toward the next. I did not stray from their path this time, but was strict to adhere to the zephyred directions.

There were a few animals about, a fox, some deer.... Once I even thought I heard the yawning squeal a wolf makes when it stretches. But I dared not pursue any of these and risk losing the path.

And then I came to two torches standing near each other, their parallel embers blowing away into dank and tangled woods where there was no other light to be seen.

For how bare and sad and dead so many of the trees looked, stark and naked, it was amazing how dense the place still felt.

I walked on, following the course of the twin ember trails, and just tried my best to keep moving in a straight line. There were no more obvious borders to keep me in line, like rocks and banks. There was only the close circle of ground about me, defined by the mist, and.... the trees.

The terrible, terrible trees—

Brreep-brreep! went my Sheikah Slate! o_o Gave me a bit of a start, but.... well that was something good at least!

It continued to beep as I kept moving ahead. I thought about turning it off; the forest didn’t seem to like it. But.... I let it go.

The larger trees took on.... a terrible look. Great twisted cracks in their barrel trunks like grimacing mouths with teeth.

Then the mouths began to gape....

I hid in one of them briefly, all full of the willies.

After a moment I climbed out again, and came to a clearing.

Which.... direction was I going in? I turned....

“Are you lost?” said David with a grin in his voice.

I walked back to the maw-tree, tried to line myself up.... The mouth had been unseen just around the right side....

I walked to the clearing again.

Those two trees there.... looked sort of like a gate of some kind....

I kept walking, right beneath their touching boughs. On and on I kept walking, the incessant brreep-brreep from my Slate doing me no psychological favors in the listening dark.

The clock in my HUD told me that it was nighttime, but I wondered if a bright shining sun would have made any difference here.

I kept going. Straight line. Brreep-brreep. No deviation.

And then, as the morning came on.... perhaps the sun did make a difference. Or perhaps....

The fog at last began to thin, and there was music: the doppelganger of Faron Woods—Skyward Sword’s Faron Woods, the Kikwi Home—it sounded so similar but I just could not place how it was done.... or perhaps was only too bewildered and bewuthered to think about melodies and chord progressions.

Warmer colors began to appear, sun-yellows and honey-browns and flowers.... The wildlife was no longer furtive and afraid. The birds chirped and the leaves sang.

Korok Woods was this place; the name gleamed over the screen.

“Are you serious?” said David.

And there were Koroks in plain sight! Not hiding! :D

“Do you know how many tries it took me to make it all the way through?” Or some such words.

Apparently he’d been watching me the whole time just grinning with anticipation for when I would.... when I would....

Well I didn’t experience it, whatever it was, so I’m not sure how it would have gone. I just made it end to end in one go. But I guess he’d had a harder time, and kept being transported back to the beginning of the Woods. I remembered the screen whiting out, and that childlike laughter....

He told me it took him forever to figure out the embers. HA! But that was such a Zeldic device, David! If I may make up words. XD

Well, like I’ve said before: sometimes, where I suck, David excels, and where he sucks, I excel.

What a team.

A few steps more and I seemed to enter a new wood proper. The trees looked healthier here. And the Koroks were soon all around me—though any particular one would disappear if I ever got too close. Heh.

And a few steps more again, and I caught sight of the tall, bobbing figure of Mister Hestu over a rise to my right! I’d found him! It’d been so long since I’d seen him that I’d almost forgotten his face....

And I did approach him, and we did visit, and he was happy to see me again, as I was to see him. And I did upgrade my carrying capacity. I upgraded the CRAP out of my carrying capacity. Weapons, bows, shields.

But there was something else further up the path.

Just a few steps more ahead.

Over the little stepping stones in the water.

Right there.

Right there.

Into The Dragon's Maw

Waking of a Saturday, February 3, 2018 ~ 3

Into The Dragon’s Maw

I pressed forward through the jungle again, as the rain-haze came and went. And the foliage and brush were still so thick that it came once more as a surprise when the leaves suddenly parted and I was presented with a wider view of the valley.

It took me a moment to understand what I was seeing.... I could see on my HUD that I was very near to the riverhead—I thought I should be able to make out the shape of the toothy mouth.

But that wasn’t what caught my eye first.

Looming in the dimness—was it daytime or nighttime?—a large, very large shape of stone thrust from the deepest wall at the back of the box canyon, thick, and heavy, and greened with atmosphere or moss. It was enshrouded and entangled by the sprawling plants, and hazed by distance and mist, so that it was difficult to say where the stone ended and the canyon wall began. Everything was so dim....

But even in the darkness, the shape was unmistakable—mountaining over the last grinning lake of the dragony river, flanked by two taloned paws of the same immense scale, stood the masoned head of a dragon.

Dodongo’s Cavern, I thought, seeing the enormous lower jaw there like a ramp into the Inferno. The Lizalfos that guarded it were so tiny....

Surely this must have shown up on the topo—I checked my map and could see it now, even the claws. How had I never seen—?

But it had always stood just adjacent to the gaping, bright blue mouth of the ribbony dragon river. Of course. How could anything stand out juxtaposed against that?

I decided to pick off a Lizalfos or two with my bow before venturing too far from the shelter of the trees. The range made it tricky, but I couldn’t have them alerting any of their friends to my presence.

Scoping in to examine the dragon’s head further, I saw part of a cubic Korok puzzle standing on the back of the big right paw.

Well, I could do that at least, I thought, and moved ahead through the gloom.

But as I drew near, something beyond the puzzle caught my eye—something.... glowing.

A MEMORY?

I bypassed the puzzle—the light was coming from behind—inside—the dragon’s neck. It seemed much of it was hollow. That made sense, with the gaping jaw-ramp.

But as I clambered closer over the mossy, sloping terrain, I could see it was not a memory.

It was a Goddess Statue.

IN—? WHAT?

—the name of the place gleamed over the screen—

IN.... THE SPRING OF COURAGE.

THIS WAS THE SPRING OF COURAGE.

I HAD FOUND ANOTHER SPRING.

I killed the Moblin keeping the inside of the Dragon’s Head—and waded through the water to pray before the Goddess.... I think.... Oh, was there some kind of sign in the stonework or was it.... Her?

Whence came those instructions?

Hhhh, I must not put off the keeping of the log for so long.... -_-

Said to offer Farosh’s Scale to the spring.

I had two scales on me, and I parted with one.

Light shone where I dropped it into the water, right in the center before the statue of the Goddess. Golden light shooting straight up from the tiny concentric ripple....

And a mighty stone door opened in the grey canyon wall behind the Goddess.

Inside was a Blessing Shrine. The Shae Katha Shrine.

After collecting the monk’s Spirit Orb, I came back out and proceeded to climb the Dragon’s Head—a gigantic tree rooted among the springwaters inside came bursting through the top of the neck. The views from its upper boughs were excellent, and aside from that I found a Korok!

But.... it was getting late.

From the treetop I saw the other half of the cubic puzzle I’d seen on the right paw—it happened to be on the left paw, and that one held the Magnesable piece.

I paraglided down, and studied the structure very carefully before removing the spare block and trekking back behind the Dragon’s Head to the other side again. After inserting the block correctly into the first puzzle, the Korok appeared, I got a seed and....

I called it a day.

I climbed back onto the Dragon’s Head for a safe perch, settled down somewhere near its right ear, saved, and quit.

I was done.

Fooling Myself

Waking of a Saturday, February 3, 2018 ~ 2

Fooling Myself

There were too many people around.

I tried to figure out the password to that place behind the clothing shop again. And who was Pokki? Nobody in town that I could find.... or at the Ice House.

And why wouldn’t that other Gerudo in the bar wake up? I wanted to talk to her....

I went to the Ice House, I went back to town, I went to the Bazaar, and somehow.... found that I could take the heat in my Gerudo clothes now? I thought I couldn’t before.

I couldn’t find out the password.

Mmm not all my clothes were enhanced. A trip to Cotera remedied that.

I didn’t want to do anything important with all these people around.... and so decided.... to just look for Mister Hestu.

I rode Memory from Dueling Peaks to Faron Woods, and walked him cautiously in among the trees.... But after a while of encountering a few too many Bokoblins and other nasties, I rode him back to the Highland Stable to board him—No more endangering the horses.

After that I warped back to that shrine in the woods I had unlocked so long ago—the one near which I’d saved Tye and Sorelia in the shallow, dappled water—it was near to the path—and continued into Faron Woods on foot.

I wandered around and onward, meeting a few other travelers, some of whom claimed to hail from a nearby village. And I was sorely, SORELY tempted by the prospect of discovering a new, friendly habitation, but.... Hestu.

And I could see on my map—there was something about this forest that had piqued my curiosity every time I looked upon it: the river which twined through it in great looping curves and which ended in (or sprang from; I wasn’t really paying attention to the direction it flowed) a box canyon....

It had always looked like a dragon to me. The long course of it like a serpentine body, and the last distant pool of it shaped like open, toothy jaws. Perhaps more akin to a typical charicature of a venus fly trap than anything else.... but drawn there in the geography and hinted at all the same.

I had often imagined myself traveling into this forest, wondering what I might find at the dragon’s maw. But now that I was here, my intentions of being so straightforward began to melt away, and I was longing to maintain a stealthy distance from the road as is so my wont.

The deciduous trees gave way to palm trees, tall and thick, and a racket of birds and bugs began to fill the air. This was the jungle I had always seen from the Talus’ sporting field on the slopes of the southern Dueling Peak.... but never ventured into.

There were a few more Bokoblins; a lady called Meeshy, whose words and wants I didn’t really catch because I was giggling at her name—it’s the name I call the neighborhood cat (an Anglicized variant of the Spanish for “Kitty”) when she comes around and wants something to eat; and—

That accordion!

Kass!

He treated me to a song about a dragon’s mouth, and I was sure of it then—something important had to be at the end of that river.... And I wanted to find it for certain, but.... the road to get there twined among the trees in almost as circuitous a route as that of the river. Great place for an ambush or three....

I was wary of roads.

Leastways those upon which I’d never traveled.

But then again.... what else was new?

Pausing only to solve an INFURIATING Korok Puzzle involving metal balls tethered together by a chain like enormous bolas—infuriating!—I plunged into the foliage to the left and kept well off the track, clinging to the hills on the edge of the giant jungle-bowl instead.

The whole valley seemed to be nestled between the foothills of the Dueling Peaks and an appreciable red mountain of steps and buttes which I had never explored. Or at least, that’s what I had always surmised by the view from Talus Junior’s Field.

I set the high rim to my left and the cascading, sweltery depths to my right, and crept forward, ever cautious. Tropical rain came down in sheets to claps of thunder and lightning, and I quickly found myself having to unequip anything metal. The palm trees rattled in the din. They really were huge, and they grew more and more thickly as I pressed on.

And then of a sudden I emerged from the leaves and was confronted by a level clearing set with a weathered old square of foundation ruins.

It positively stank of Korok to me.

A number of large, flat paving blocks made up a hollow square shape on the ground, with grass and foliage filling its wide center. On three of the cornerstones of this formation sat three very large stone boulders. Where was the fourth....?

And at each corner of the grassy central space, a huge pillar towered out of the earth. Three of these were empty, but atop one of them—SOMEHOW—was the fourth boulder.

Oh boy....

Stasis and arrows didn’t make it budge. And I didn’t want to spend any specialty arrows.... Or maybe I just didn’t have any left after that last Lynel encounter. I would need something more powerful....

I didn’t want to throw any of my heavier weapons and damage them in the process. A Bomb would do, but.... I couldn’t throw them so high. Mm, but I could drop them....

I set myself to climbing the pillar in the rain, slipping again and again, but forcing myself onward. This course was made even more difficult by the fact that the boulder was so huge and the column just thin enough that there would be no place to stand until I had scaled the boulder itself, crawling up around to its top like a spider!

It took a few tries, but I made it, standing at last in sodden triumph at the top. The view from up high was nice, even in the rain. I could see over some of the trees and deeper into the valley....

But now for this boulder.

What I did next also took a few tries, to get the timing right. But fortunately Ja Baij is a gernerous chap, and I had an infinite number of Bombs to play with.

I Stasised the giant boulder beneath my feet, took out a Bomb, rolled it over the edge, and detonated it while it was close enough to exert some force upon the boulder, but far enough away that it wouldn’t blow me up!

And when the Stasis let go.... over the boulder keeled and finally fell to the ground (I paraglided down after it) where I could manage it with a bit more ease.

Ha, yeah—ease. Surely. The thing was still huge.

I tried pushing it toward the empty cornerstone. No good; it was too big. So I tried Stasis and another Bomb. Not enough force. Stasis and two more Bombs.... got it on the square!

And the Korok appeared!

YES! ^_^

That had to be the heaviest Korok I’d ever chased up. Epic.

There was something supremely satisfying about that one.

Really made you work for it.

QUEST FOR PANTS

Waking of a Saturday, February 3, 2018

QUEST FOR PANTS

I warped from Cotera’s to Gerudo Town, and found Bozai. He seemed overly-concerned when he learned that a delicate little flower such as myself (for I was disguised as a girl again) had actually ventured into the wild Gerudo Highlands. He didn’t think I’d actually do it. But when he saw the pictograph I’d taken of the Eighth Heroine, he could make no disputations—he’d promised me those Sand Boots, and so he gave me those Sand Boots.

Though it was a real wrench handing back the Snow Boots, I tell you what.

He kept flirting with me pretty strongly until I could worm my way out of the conversation. But then.... as he sat beneath the tent out in front of the town....

I approached him again.

And dang. I don’t know if even I had boiled it down to what was really on my mind. Not so baldly or succinctly. But the penetrating bluntness of the very first option I was given in my conversation with Bozai spelled it out plain—“I want Snow Boots.”

Dang it, Nintendo! I could take a lesson in non-codependent assertiveness from this.... XD

Bozai seemed taken aback, but sweetly accommodating. And through all his coddly flirting he struck a new deal for this delicate desert flower and her silly flights of fancy.... one she wouldn’t possibly be able to see through....

If I could snap a pictograph of the Eighth Heroine’s Missing Sword—

Hahh, yes, yes, indeed—the Missing Sword—so that’s what it was.... But I hardly heard the rest of Bozai’s words for how pleased I was feeling at having the fetchquest mapped so plainly before me! ^_^

If I could take a pictograph of the Eighth Heroine’s Missing Sword, this time without the aid of the Snow Boots he had lent me before, then he would let me have and keep the Snow Boots upon my return.

He was sure I would never find it this time, as it didn’t really exist, I heard him murmur beneath his breath.

Oh what wicked cacklings were mine as I warped off to the Shrine of Kema Kosassa....

It was slower going, without the Snow Boots. But at least that left me to finally invest in something with a higher defense for my legs.

I schlumped up the mountain to the Dragon’s Nest, and was favored with the good fortune of there not having been a Blood Moon in the meanwhile—no Lynel to tangle with.... and no Moblin either!—and took a fabulously artful pictograph of the sword.

A simple warp and a change of wardrobe later I was back at Gerudo Town, once again listening to Bozai’s incredulous fluster at my having ventured into such savage, dangerous territory, a dainty little thing like me, I mean really! Silly girl, didn’t I know I could’ve been seriously—

I showed Bozai the pictograph.

He was shocked.

“Snow Boots,” I snapped.

DANG! XD XD Didn’t let him mess around much for this encounter, did they? XD XD

Bozai.... shifted, and hemmed, and hawed, and.... decided he’d better stay true to his word. After all.... this was his big move for a pretty lady....

He gave me the Snow Boots. And started to ask, “Would you... g-go... out... with...”

“Not a chance.”

“You could at least let me finish the question.”

Aoh MAN.... XD SAVAGE. XD XD XD

Well, Bozai couldn’t really go anywhere after that—he was confined to the little tent out front of the city. The sand was very hot after all.

I felt kinda bad that I’d taken every lower-body wardrobe item he had....

But not nearly bad enough to do anything about it, not that the game had a mechanism for it that I could tell!

Nyahahahaha! XD

The Cyborg and the Madman

Morning of Thursday, February 1, 2018

The Cyborg and the Madman

The first thing I thought upon arriving at my desk this morning and finding something on my keyboard was that automatic triage I so often fall to:

Someone’s been here. Need to clean. What was touched? What has been altered? How clean are my hands? How clean are all objects and surfaces? In what order would it be best to touch or make contact? Need to wipe things down, but wiping down requires an immediate hand-washing afterward, best done unencumbered, and the sink is far away. Will want to put my things down beforehand, but can’t leave them unattended; need to lock them up first. But can I do it safely? Yes—they wouldn’t have touched the drawers very much if at all; I always leave them locked. Don’t sit in the chair yet.

I don’t fault anyone for thinking ill of this behavior.

It wasn’t always like this.

On my keyboard was a small generic Ziploc bag, rolled up on itself. I saw dull colors inside through the plastic. Candy? Sometimes people do hand out goodies to each other, and I am grateful for those times.... But why not just plopped on the desktop? Why on my keyboard? Woulda had to get in close for that.... Where would a body touch....?

But as I stuffed my backpack and purse away, I saw the bag closer, and the dim blue and white and brown and yellow came into focus through the plastic.

It’s okay to sit in the chair.

There was only one person that could be from.

I surreptitiously wiped the requisite surfaces down anyway, and the bag, before starting toward the breakroom; I used that sink every morning anyway.

But I stopped at Madman Joseph’s cubicle first, grinning all afluster . . . .

It was a Breath of the Wild Link figure, about five inches tall, nicely articulated all over, and packing a bow and arrow.

He was too generous! It was too much! I’m no figure connoisseur, but I know they’re worth more than just pocket-change!

But he insisted and I questioned and he insisted again—said he didn’t have a stand for that one anyway; couldn’t get it to stand up!

Joseph is a figure connoisseur—I catch him at it sometimes on his computer. Just how many species of Voltron ARE there anyway?

We laughed and talked.

“I may or may not like to just sit him on my shoulder, when I play the game.”

Shifty eyes above his incendiary grin. XD

I laughed and pictured the sight.... and then pictured the little Link on my shoulder....

Huh.... I wonder how he’d like me just spitting all this out into my log. Ah but he’s a pretty carefree guy. Only a little maniacal. Too bad Erika’s not here for him to startle from behind anymore. (Well, too bad for him, not for her.) I’ve heard him lightly blame it on PTSD from his time in Iraq.

Ah I remember when they took us all out to play lasertag that one time.... and SOMEHOW (???) I had come out the top-scorer on the winning team. (“Cyborg” was the codename I had taken upon myself with that particular gun-harness; felt pretty boss.)

But Joseph? Oh how he had kept popping up and around every corner, blasting my suit again and again, and dancing away with a wicked laugh! He positively harassed me!

He was my most worthy adversary.

And in the after-battle rush, as we all came pouring out from the cracks of the maze, running together and filing toward the exit—and I spotted him—“You! What is your PROBLEM?” I allowed myself to shriek in that wild vexation only a female can assume without losing grace. I don’t think I had ever actually allowed myself to indulge in it before, and that’s the truth.

He had been that infuriating.

I don’t even remember what he said in response. But we were both smiling, and we swapped names.

And that’s how I met Joseph.

He’s a kind soul. Beneath all the crazy.... he has a good heart. And he is generous.

Was I ever like that before?

Could I ever be like that?

I haven’t always been like I am now.

When did I become so touchy, so fearfully meticulous, so.... cold?

When did I become.... like a Cyborg?

Colossal

Waking of Saturday, January 27, 2018 ~ 2

Colossal

I made sure to change back into my winter garb before I spoke to the monk. And when I exited the shrine of Kema Kosassa . . . . the sun was shining.

The storm had passed, and the cracked snowfield shone brilliant in the daylight.

And according to my map, the Eighth Heroine stood just on the other side of the mountain, off the northern edge of the saddle snowfield.

But she was missing something, some aspect that the other seven had, according to the topo: two little jutting points off the tip of the triangle of her aerial silhouette.... I guessed I’d just see it when I got there.

I tried to climb higher for my approach, but as I scaled the western steps the wind came back, blustering the world into grey once more. A few Ice Keese came out to sport, and I was happy to collect their wings (the Great Fairies would find them useful in upgrading my clothes), but when I reached the last wall of the very highest western plateau of all the Gerudo Highlands, and tried to climb it—

That prohibiting chime.

And—

You can’t go any farther.

Huh.

I was still at an uneven, skewed edge, misaligned from the cardinal directions.

So the map was not truly rectangular after all.

Part of me.... kind of liked that. c:

It was all right; I continued northward and eventually the winds died down. And it was awful tricky out along the sheer rock walls as the shelves for my footing wore down to narrow ledges.... but the pictograph I captured of the colossal Eighth Heroine was excellent.

I begged her pardon as I paraglided over and climbed back up her person and ran around on her outstretched arms—it was the best way to regain the snowfield, and.... I like to climb on rocks.

And back up on top I immediately gave in to the temptation of a treasure chest tightly encompassed by no fewer than six baby Talus Pebblits.

I was rewarded for my persistence with a METEOR ROD, which I had never heard of before! It was powerful! 8D

The encounter had only slightly frayed my patience.... I wanted to continue to the peak east of the snowfield saddle, but the way between was thick with enemies. I didn’t want to deal with any of them, least of all that cluster of Bokoblins near the most obvious and accessible slope.

And so it was back to the western steps for a new approach. I climbed until I could climb no further, by which time the pretextual blizzard returned—this made it difficult to determine the optimum paragliding trajectory over the snowfield.... but my HUD was enough for that. It still functioned here.

I lined myself up as best as I could manage, and took a flying leap toward the slope I could not see....

The air cleared about halfway over, and I only needed a little correction. But aside from this my solution proved to be most effective! ^_^ Leaving camps of Bokoblins and multitudes of crouching Lizalfos in the dust, I hurried up the slope to the clear, bald top of Gerudo Summit where everything was open and the blue sky was so big....

Aaaand promptly turned around and ran back the other way when I saw that prowling equine silhouette.

The Lynel didn’t see me, but I could hear it roaring as I skirted about the edges of the peak. Thank goodness the cap was so rounded—there was so little to hide behind up here; the extra horizons were most welcome.

I came behind the single, house-sized butte on the peak that could offer sufficient cover—and laid my eyes on the most abrupt spectacle: a browned and weathered sword-hilt made of stone, jutting up from a deep crack in the rounded snowcap. It was about forty times the size of life.

I peeked over the edge of the little gorge; a Moblin snoozed before the spot where the giant blade was plunged into the earth.

Hhhhrm I didn’t want to deal with him just then.

But that Lynel....

This was the high haunt of Farosh. I might get scales or hornshards here.... But I wouldn’t be able to move freely with that Lynel in the way....

A White Lynel. The most powerful according to my Compendium.

Never faced one of those before.

....

No time like the present.

I camped atop the little butte, just far back enough to be out of sight. The high, rushing winds made Bomb Golf somewhat impractical, and so I switched to strong bows and specialty arrows. Still, the monster wandered where he would, and over distance my aim was weak. It was more a matter of persistence than patience, with the Lynel. I could sometimes pique his curiosity to draw him in by showing my head and tempting his terrible question-mark-thermometer before ducking down again. But he did not always come by me as the Molduga had. And once, getting wise, he came too close—and I found myself pinned down in my only retreat, which had been discovered from the desperation of the moment: clinging still and silent to the backside of the frozen butte while the monster surveyed the top.... until he finally wandered back down into his snowy field, and I could hunt him again.

In the end, busting Duplex Bows and with nothing but fletched wooden shafts to my name, I brought him down. And it was the first time among the bits left over that I was rewarded with Lynel Guts. They were quite.... colorful as I recall.

And then the run of the Dragon’s Nest was mine.

....For the moment anyway; I did not think I would be able to abide a Blood Moon up here.

I ran around and found the landscape to be more crowded than I had expected, with Pebblits, Octoroks, and un-Magnesable treasure chests. But these were paltry hurdles to clear for the ranging over of my prize.

There was a terrific gash carved across the summit, so big it registered on my topo. Ice and stone lay in broken slabs about it and scattered along its bottom. I wondered if Farosh had done that with his passing.... just scratched it right into the mountaintop. By the look of him he’d certainly be capable of such a feat. And at the end of another such depression, that giant sword stuck in the earth.

I crept up easily on the Moblin as he dozed, and sneakstruck him in the back.

I really do love that feature. X3

But one thing I have noticed about the really tough enemies.... is that one sneakstrike will not always bring them down. :c

But I put as hefty a dent as was possible in his health meter in one go for the opening salvo, and that was good enough to go on for the moment. A few more hits and he was down, and I was free to regard the giant sword.

It stood at an angle, and, in a most artistic juxtaposition, a regular-sized sword stood plunged into the snow at a mirrored angle, just before its base. Maybe the Moblin had been guarding it, or admiring it.

It was some beautiful thing with a shining golden hilt.... Gerudo I think....

But I had no room for it in my inventory.

I really.... really did need to see Mr. Hestu again.

In due course Farosh returned and I claimed a shard of his horn and sent him spiraling back into the heavens—so close now....

After this I knew it could be days before he’d make another appearance, and so set out to explore what remained to be explored. And in running all over the rest of the mountaintop, dodging Pebblits through the gouge like TIE Fighters in the Death Star’s channel, I gave in to my own peer pressure and simply demonstrated for David what the un-Magnesable chests were.... Ah I am too impatient....

As I checked my map to be sure I had swept over everything of at least visible interest, I spied a Korok circle down off the summit on the other side, the northern side. It sat low on a long plateau, with no small amount of topo lines in between. Very close laterally, but much farther away in terms of elevation. But the Kema Kosassa Shrine was enough to get me back if I wanted.

I stepped to the edge of the snowcap....

Hhhhh, there was always a hesitance. No, there was sometimes a hesitance.

You can’t fly and stay King of the Mountain.

In a wrenching jump my boots parted company with the Dragon’s Nest and I sailed down over the white northern ranges descending in rocky cascades all below me, the low plateau stretching ahead for all the world like Bright Angel Trail beyond Indian Gardens....

That freaking Korok was so much trouble....

I’ll give you a hint: No, you can’t carry the rock up that hill.

The last thing I regarded about the mountain was something I thought I had seen before, though I couldn’t remember when: Carved into the north face of the bare red rock was a large, four-pointed symbol of some kind—a lightning motif.

I was closer than I’d ever been to it. But.... I was tired. I would hike to it another time.

Instead I warped to Kakariko, and Cotera’s spring, where—wouldn’t you know it—the guts and hooves and horns I had recently taken from the Lynel came in handy in upgrading my Barbarian Helm! In fact I was able to upgrade a whole lot of clothes....

I guessed I had amassed quite a few extra materials since the last time I’d seen a Great Fairy.

Ascent

Waking of Saturday, January 27, 2018

Ascent

No—more—DAWDLING; it’s March 27 as I write this, MARCH!

I started at the Kara Kara Bazaar where Kachoo bade me good morning.

From there I barreled into the desert to find that shrine I had seen in the big tangle of cliffs beneath the mountain—the Dako Tah Shrine.

(“Dakota!” said David.)

It was difficult! Another electric path challenge....

After that I followed the foot of the mountain westward, wrapping round the jutting points until I came above the north end of those ruins I had explored before.

And wouldn’t you know it, north of the ruins was.... the Northern Ice House.

The actual house where the ice was kept was not very visible—its exterior consisted of a single trap door in the ground and a following ramp. But above this spot was a most improbable rock formation—looked kind of like a big turtle....

Up against the mountain, a solitary wolf prowled.

I ran down the ramp before it could spot me, and met the lone Gerudo manning the place. I roused her from sleep to learn that her name was Anche (“I’m gonna call you ☥,” I said) and that she really felt it was too early to be bothered just now.

When she finally did wake up, with my head still cracking over possible password clues, I spoke to her, but she had nothing relevant to say, and she never mentioned that Pokki—whose name always made me want Pocky....

Nor did the Ice House hold much of anything else that was interesting. Except for ice.

I left. I followed the mountain’s foot westward further still, dodging from shadow to shadow, until I came to where the rocky pillars stood tall from the sand and Lizalfos lay in wait upon every surface.

Satan Canyon.

I’d thought about coming here again. Perhaps if I traversed its entire length I could trip something I’d missed before....

The afternoon was getting on, but the sun still burned me outside of the shade as I moved further in. I teased David again by refusing to approach certain treasure chests.... Not those ones.... And as I entered the sandy mouth of the gorge its proper name was revealed to me – Karusa Valley.

I jogged on, searching for any kind of entry point clues, but aside from a few Lizalfos for whom I did not mask soon enough and who took unkindly to my concussive salutations, it was simply a long, long trudge through the sand.

It was a while before the sandstone walls closed about me as they had before. I was grateful when the temperature dropped and I could move freely in the light.... and more grateful still when I came within sight of more solid ground at last! And momentarily surprised as, just before I reached it, the air took on a breathtaking, icy chill!

I ran—I’d forgotten how drastically the temperature could swing in the desert.

It was only a few steps, and then I was back into the windcarved sandstone, in the temperate air, with my speed blessedly unhobbled.

And there were indeed a few surprises I had missed before—like falling rocks.

I sheltered behind great rounded shelves of stone, which jutted from the sidewalls like pinball paddles, while the avalanches passed. They seemed quite large here.

Atop one of the shelves I found a stray Korok hiding in—

Those frog statues again.

I continued up the gorge and it wasn’t long before the defaced frog statues lined the paths again and the Yiga Archers came out laughing to sport with me....

I killed them all, but when I came to the door at the end.... it still wouldn’t open.

I guessed.... I had to trigger the events back in town first after all.

But there was more to draw me up here than just the Yiga Nest. I donned my Warm Doublet, Snow Boots and Ruby Circlet, and out above the canyon on the crunching snow I doubled back to the west, climbing further into the mountain.

Higher and higher I climbed, crossing glistening frozen shelves I could never have seen from the steps below. There were even a few sparse and lonely pine trees up here on the otherwise naked highlands.

And rhinoceroses! Great, woolly blue rhinoceroses, being chased around or ridden by Bokoblins. I watched them at it for a while before slipping past them and hurrying up a steep gorge—

The weather turned then. Thick grey clouds descended and the snow fell all around me. Fortunately my Snow Boots still allowed me free movement, and the rest of my clothing kept me warm from the chill. But the landscape and its denizens became steadily harsher: Visibility was limited in the blustering oblivion, gigantic chunks of ice began to appear, obstructing my way forward (and when I drew near to these and looked hard, I could see things frozen inside them.... Bokoblins, Lizalfos....), a new, hardier breed of wolf appeared, snapping its deadly dance about me, and more Bokoblins and an Ice Wizzrobe harrassed me for more attentions than I could spare. And though my clothes protected me from the cold.... their ill-tailored defense against attack had me flirting with disaster at every altercation. My hearts dropped like mercury as I took heavy damage.

But two things pierced through the blizzard to pull me onward: The first was the sounding of the Erhu—Farosh! He was so close now.... Yes, this was where I had first seen him! From the river far below on the other side of the highlands! . . . . And the second was the sudden perking of my Sheikah Slate, chiming Brreep-brreep! between the winds—There was a Shrine nearby....

I pressed on, coming to a cracked and ruptured saddle, wide and flat with broken snow between two peaks lost in the grey. Icy Lizalfos lay everywhere, and watched me as I followed the shrine signal, too frozen even to bother with anyone more than a couple of yards away.

Gigantic snowballs rolled off the muted red steps to the west, gaining mass and slowing down before crunching to a halt on the field. I dodged them, climbed over a fragmented hill of ice—and there lay the Shrine, hard against the lowest western wall in a pit unseeable from anywhere. The Kema Kosassa Shrine.

I hurried into the hidden dell—danger was everywhere—and activated it. And shrinking from the howling of the storm I fled beneath the overhang, and stepped onto the elevator.

The interior was cool, and stark, and monumentally quiet after the weather’s rage.

It was a Major Test of Strength.

ಠ_ಠ

I had never done a Major Test of Strength before. No but wasn’t there something out from Hateno...?

David was with me; I had watched him.

I was ready for this . . . .